the_o tongue_n of_o man_n can_v express_v or_o the_o heart_n of_o man_n conceive_v there_o be_v nothing_o that_o thou_o see_v with_o thy_o eye_n or_o hear_v with_o thy_o ear_n or_o feel_v with_o thy_o hand_n be_v more_o certain_o true_a than_o this_o but_o alas_o because_o thou_o have_v hear_v it_o so_o often_o and_o god_n of_o his_o infinite_a goodness_n and_o patience_n have_v not_o make_v thou_o yet_o to_o feel_v the_o stroke_n of_o his_o justice_n and_o the_o misery_n due_a to_o sin_n thou_o will_v not_o believe_v he_o though_o his_o threaten_n be_v never_o so_o clear_o set_v down_o and_o with_o much_o earnestness_n 5._o consider_v against_o what_o precious_a mercy_n what_o sweet_a love_n what_o bless_a experience_n holy_a inspiration_n what_o abundance_n of_o mean_n strong_a resolution_n precious_a promise_n clear_a light_n etc._n etc._n thou_o have_v sin_v affection_n 1._o pray_v to_o god_n to_o help_v to_o a_o further_a sense_n of_o the_o sinfullness_n of_o sin_n bless_a god_n must_v all_o these_o consideration_n pass_v as_o a_o serpent_n on_o a_o stone_n without_o make_v any_o impression_n upon_o my_o soul_n lord_n give_v i_o a_o affect_a knowledge_n of_o the_o sinfullness_n of_o sin_n and_o not_o have_v such_o slight_a thought_n of_o sin_n as_o i_o have_v have_v but_o grant_v that_o i_o may_v esteem_v of_o sin_n as_o thou_o esteem_v it_o 2._o talk_v with_o thy_o own_o soul_n about_o this_o matter_n o_o my_o soul_n be_v these_o consideration_n true_a or_o false_a if_o thou_o think_v they_o false_a bring_v thy_o objection_n show_v wherein_o the_o error_n lie_v which_o thou_o can_v never_o do_v but_o if_o they_o be_v true_a as_o certain_o they_o be_v how_o come_v it_o to_o pass_v that_o we_o have_v make_v nothing_o of_o sin_n it_o be_v in_o vain_a for_o we_o to_o put_v off_o the_o sense_n of_o our_o sin_n until_o it_o be_v too_o late_o 3._o be_v confound_v and_o ashamed_a in_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n alas_o o_o lord_n my_o god_n as_o a_o thief_n be_v ashamed_a when_o he_o be_v take_v or_o as_o a_o woman_n be_v ashamed_a when_o her_o adultery_n be_v find_v out_o by_o her_o love_a husband_n so_o and_o a_o thousand_o time_n more_o i_o desire_v to_o be_v confound_v and_o ashamed_a in_o thy_o presence_n when_o i_o consider_v how_o abominable_a my_o life_n have_v be_v and_o how_o that_o i_o have_v commit_v my_o abomination_n even_o in_o thy_o sight_n and_o provoke_v thou_o to_o thy_o face_n and_o have_v not_o thy_o patience_n and_o mercy_n be_v infinite_a thou_o can_v never_o have_v stand_v out_o against_o so_o many_o provocation_n i_o have_v be_v in_o hell_n roar_v and_o blaspheme_v long_o before_o this_o day_n and_o then_o i_o have_v be_v past_o prayer_n and_o past_a mercy_n and_o past_a pardon_n what_o shall_v isay_n unto_o thou_o o_o thou_o preserver_n of_o man_n to_o excuse_v my_o sin_n i_o can_v i_o have_v nothing_o but_o the_o multitude_n of_o thy_o tender_a compassion_n and_o thy_o free_a grace_n in_o jesus_n christ_n to_o fly_v unto_o lord_n lay_v my_o sin_n home_o to_o i_o to_o humble_v i_o and_o to_o break_v my_o stony_a heart_n but_o lay_v they_o not_o to_o my_o charge_n to_o condemn_v i_o if_o thou_o have_v not_o in_o thy_o word_n promise_v forgiveness_n to_o sinner_n through_o jesus_n christ_n i_o can_v no_o more_o hope_n to_o obtain_v pardon_n than_o even_o the_o devil_n themselves_o resolution_n it_o be_v enough_o o_o my_o soul_n and_o too_o too_o much_o that_o we_o have_v be_v undo_v ourselves_o and_o provoke_v god_n thus_o long_o that_o we_o have_v as_o it_o be_v with_o all_o our_o power_n pull_v down_o the_o vengeance_n of_o god_n upon_o we_o and_o as_o it_o be_v kindle_v his_o wrath_n against_o we_o but_o he_o have_v not_o suffer_v his_o whole_a displeasure_n to_o arise_v nor_o suffer_v we_o to_o perish_v though_o we_o will_v bless_v be_v his_o name_n that_o we_o have_v not_o commit_v the_o sin_n against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n which_o we_o certain_o have_v do_v have_v he_o give_v we_o up_o to_o the_o strength_n of_o our_o own_o corruption_n and_o to_o the_o power_n and_o malice_n of_o satan_n to_o improve_v they_o to_o our_o destruction_n be_v it_o true_a indeed_o that_o god_n say_v yet_o return_v and_o i_o will_v save_v thou_o do_v he_o stand_v with_o stretch_v out_o arm_n do_v he_o indeed_o stand_v with_o stretch_v out_o arm_n to_o embrace_v we_o be_v it_o possible_a he_o shall_v be_v so_o gracious_a to_o forgive_v such_o and_o so_o many_o sin_n and_o of_o such_o long_a continuance_n well_o bless_a be_v god_n we_o will_v go_v unto_o he_o and_o never_o offend_v he_o more_o we_o will_v hereafter_o whensoever_o we_o be_v tempt_v unto_o sin_n say_v what_o sin_n against_o such_o love_n such_o mercy_n such_o experience_n offend_v that_o god_n that_o have_v pardon_v we_o that_o have_v do_v such_o thing_n for_o we_o and_o be_v not_o content_a with_o that_o but_o have_v promise_v to_o do_v more_o i_o will_v not_o hereafter_o stand_v parly_v with_o temptation_n but_o i_o will_v cry_v out_o unto_o god_n and_o say_v lord_n help_v i_o for_o i_o suffer_v violence_n and_o in_o particular_a i_o be_o in_o some_o measure_n sensible_a that_o i_o pray_v not_o with_o that_o fervency_n and_o reverence_n as_o i_o ought_v to_o do_v for_o the_o time_n to_o come_v i_o shall_v by_o the_o blessing_n of_o god_n mend_v that_o i_o be_o too_o passionate_a well_o since_o god_n have_v be_v so_o gracious_a as_o to_o forgive_v so_o many_o so_o great_a so_o grievous_a sin_n that_o my_o own_o heart_n be_v not_o able_a to_o understand_v their_o vileness_n or_o number_n i_o will_v not_o hereafter_o be_v trouble_v when_o i_o hear_v my_o neighbour_n or_o underling_n or_o when_o i_o hear_v my_o fellow_n n._n use_v such_o or_o such_o taunt_a word_n against_o i_o i_o will_v not_o be_v provoke_v by_o this_o or_o that_o despite_n or_o contemptuous_a trick_n that_o he_o or_o she_o do_v use_v against_o i_o but_o rather_o i_o will_v endeavour_v to_o say_v or_o do_v such_o a_o thing_n to_o gain_v his_o good_a will_n and_o to_o pacify_v his_o anger_n conceive_v against_o i_o for_o certain_o his_o injury_n be_v not_o comparable_a to_o my_o sin_n and_o yet_o god_n forgive_v i_o they_o there_o be_v a_o difference_n between_o i._o n._n and_o i_o i_o be_o resolve_v i_o will_v go_v to_o he_o and_o be_v reconcile_v this_o very_a day_n or_o if_o i_o can_v i_o will_v pray_v for_o he_o and_o speak_v well_o of_o he_o this_o very_a day_n if_o i_o have_v occasion_n to_o speak_v of_o he_o at_o all_o howsoever_o i_o will_v pray_v for_o he_o now_o conclusion_n 1._o pray_v desire_v god_n that_o he_o will_v increase_v thy_o detestation_n of_o sin_n and_o that_o thou_o may_v as_o well_o hate_v sin_n as_o leave_v sin_n and_o that_o he_o will_v not_o let_v any_o spark_n that_o have_v be_v kindle_v by_o his_o own_o spirit_n go_v out_o in_o thou_o say_v unto_o he_o lord_n i_o do_v not_o beg_v riches_n i_o can_v go_v to_o heaven_n without_o they_o please_v thou_o without_o they_o but_o i_o beg_v of_o thou_o grace_n and_o strength_n against_o corruption_n pardon_v of_o sin_n if_o thou_o deny_v i_o these_o i_o be_o undo_v 2._o praise_v god_n bless_a be_v thy_o name_n that_o my_o heart_n have_v be_v in_o any_o measure_n affect_v with_o the_o hatred_n of_o sin_n that_o i_o have_v in_o any_o measure_n know_v and_o consider_v the_o thing_n that_o belong_v to_o my_o peace_n thou_o may_v have_v suffer_v i_o to_o drop_v into_o hell_n and_o never_o to_o have_v think_v of_o it_o before_o i_o have_v be_v there_o but_o thou_o have_v not_o deal_v so_o with_o i_o 3._o acknowledge_v thy_o own_o unworthiness_n of_o so_o great_a patience_n as_o god_n have_v exercise_v towards_o thou_o thy_o inability_n to_o think_v any_o of_o those_o good_a thought_n that_o thou_o have_v have_v etc._n etc._n as_o be_v in_o the_o first_o meditation_n after_o all_o think_v what_o passage_n most_o affect_v thou_o 2._o write_v down_o thy_o resolution_n etc._n etc._n 3._o go_v unwilling_o from_o the_o duty_n meditat_fw-la iv_o of_o death_n 1._o be_v convince_v of_o and_o affect_v with_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n 2._o pray_v for_o his_o assistance_n consideration_n 1._o can_v thou_o not_o remember_v that_o thou_o be_v by_o such_o a_o one_o when_o he_o die_v do_v thou_o not_o see_v how_o his_o countenance_n fail_v his_o eyestring_n break_v how_o he_o grow_v weak_a and_o weak_a at_o last_o grow_v speechless_a how_o he_o throttle_v in_o the_o throat_n how_o his_o tooth_n grate_v how_o he_o sweat_v and_o struggle_v for_o life_n and_o at_o last_o gasp_v and_o die_v consider_v that_o thus_o thou_o must_v do_v likewise_o how_o soon_o the_o lord_n only_o know_v that_o thou_o
i_o and_o lie_v in_o my_o bosom_n and_o rise_v in_o the_o morning_n more_o strong_a then_o at_o night_n ah_o when_o my_o former_a holy_a life_n shall_v be_v more_o terrible_a than_o other_o wicked_a life_n when_o my_o former_a prayer_n shall_v be_v like_o the_o gall_n of_o asp_n unto_o i_o when_o those_o duty_n which_o shall_v be_v my_o comfort_n be_v my_o terror_n alas_o what_o can_v my_o poor_a soul_n do_v when_o my_o present_a sin_n and_o my_o past_a duty_n which_o of_o they_o be_v the_o heavy_a burden_n unto_o i_o i_o do_v not_o know_v what_o shall_v i_o do_v when_o i_o consider_v these_o thing_n than_o the_o thought_n of_o the_o affliction_n that_o lie_v upon_o i_o make_v i_o weep_v a_o tear_n or_o two_o and_o my_o vain_a heart_n my_o deceitful_a heart_n will_v persuade_v i_o that_o i_o weep_v for_o my_o sin_n those_o in_o desertion_n be_v in_o a_o bless_a condition_n to_o i_o they_o be_v sad_a and_o i_o be_o miserable_a i_o be_o guilty_a of_o that_o which_o their_o conscience_n do_v but_o accuse_v they_o of_o alas_o have_v i_o lose_v my_o communion_n with_o god_n my_o sweet_a communion_n and_o the_o power_n i_o have_v to_o prevail_v with_o he_o for_o any_o mercy_n almost_o that_o i_o pray_v for_o now_o i_o can_v pray_v and_o pray_v and_o pray_v and_o go_v away_o without_o a_o blessing_n i_o can_v almost_o be_v content_a to_o be_v wicked_a thou_o know_v my_o heart_n or_o else_o my_o tear_n will_v deceive_v thou_o as_o well_o as_o i_o if_o they_o be_v worldly_a thought_n that_o have_v estrange_v i_o from_o thou_o thou_o know_v how_o to_o cure_v i_o if_o my_o utter_a impoverishing_n will_v cure_v i_o let_v i_o be_v as_o poor_a as_o job_n if_o thou_o be_v not_o such_o a_o physician_n as_o thou_o be_v i_o be_v past_o thy_o cure_n meditat._n iii_o lord_n i_o be_o come_v now_o to_o pour_v out_o my_o soul_n before_o thou_o and_o my_o tear_n into_o thy_o bosom_n to_o tell_v thou_o the_o sad_a thought_n and_o sorrow_n of_o my_o heart_n ah_o my_o god_n in_o this_o bitterness_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o with_o tear_n in_o my_o eye_n and_o pride_n in_o my_o heart_n and_o sencelesnesse_n upon_o my_o spirit_n i_o speak_v these_o thing_n ah_o lord_n thou_o have_v scourge_v i_o with_o scorpion_n for_o my_o sin_n do_v increase_v as_o well_o as_o my_o affliction_n these_o affliction_n to_o i_o be_v scorpion_n to_o i_o they_o have_v poison_n in_o they_o and_o at_o once_o i_o be_o scourge_v and_o sting_v with_o they_o a_o sad_a ease_n it_o be_v when_o my_o punishment_n be_v heavy_a than_o i_o can_v bear_v and_o yet_o notwithstanding_o i_o go_v from_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n too_o and_o that_o more_o and_o more_o my_o tear_n dry_v up_o in_o my_o eye_n and_o my_o love_n go_v out_o of_o my_o heart_n as_o soon_o as_o kindle_v when_o the_o candle_n of_o the_o lord_n shine_v upon_o my_o tabernacle_n in_o my_o first_o conversion_n when_o the_o fire_n of_o thy_o love_n be_v kindle_v in_o my_o heart_n i_o have_v have_v some_o discourse_n of_o devotion_n that_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o bear_v the_o ravishment_n that_o the_o remembrance_n and_o meditation_n of_o they_o bring_v to_o my_o soul_n now_o almost_o as_o full_a of_o sadness_n as_o then_o of_o joy_n after_o those_o time_n as_o those_o after_o the_o flood_n my_o joy_n and_o the_o act_n and_o working_n of_o my_o grace_n grow_v very_o short-lived_a in_o comparison_n of_o what_o they_o be_v before_o then_o they_o be_v methusalems_n for_o age_n and_o sampson_n for_o strength_n to_o what_o they_o be_v now_o before_o though_o i_o fall_v spiritual_o sick_a and_o my_o strength_n and_o comfort_n be_v go_v yet_o i_o be_v sensible_a of_o my_o weakness_n it_o be_v a_o pain_n and_o a_o grief_n unto_o i_o that_o i_o can_v not_o walk_v into_o the_o delightful_a garden_n of_o the_o spouse_n and_o to_o the_o sweet_a bed_n of_o his_o spice_n i_o can_v weep_v for_o want_v of_o tear_n if_o not_o i_o can_v mourn_v for_o want_v of_o sorrow_n but_o now_o like_o a_o man_n that_o have_v groan_v and_o struggle_v so_o long_o that_o he_o can_v struggle_v no_o long_o but_o grow_v senseless_a can_v hardly_o be_v perceive_v to_o breathe_v or_o live_v if_o the_o sweet_a music_n shall_v be_v play_v by_o he_o or_o the_o dear_a friend_n in_o the_o world_n shall_v come_v and_o ask_v he_o with_o tear_n in_o his_o eye_n dear_a husband_n or_o dear_a wife_n how_o do_v you_o the_o poor_a sick_a one_o do_v not_o so_o much_o as_o open_v the_o eye_n to_o see_v who_o it_o be_v that_o speak_v or_o if_o open_v they_o they_o be_v present_o heavy_a with_o death_n fall_v down_o again_o and_o he_o die_v so_o be_v it_o with_o my_o poor_a soul_n sometime_o i_o can_v hear_v my_o saviour_n as_o it_o be_v say_v unto_o i_o for_o sometime_o methinks_v i_o see_v he_o about_o my_o sick_a soul_n ah_o poor_a soul_n how_o do_v thou_o do_v be_v my_o joseph_n yet_o live_v but_o alas_o lord_n thou_o know_v i_o have_v scarce_o strength_n or_o life_n to_o lift_v up_o my_o eye_n to_o thou_o lord_n can_v these_o bone_n live_v can_v these_o dry_a eye_n weep_v can_v this_o freeze_a heart_n be_v inflame_v meditat._n iu._n lord_n i_o be_o ashamed_a to_o consider_v what_o i_o know_v of_o thou_o when_o i_o think_v what_o i_o do_v for_o thou_o ah_o my_o god_n the_o care_n of_o the_o world_n lie_v heavy_a upon_o i_o resolution_n though_o never_o so_o strong_a be_v too_o weak_a to_o overcome_v my_o corruption_n alas_o i_o can_v scarce_o say_v any_o more_o than_o i_o have_v say_v in_o the_o confess_v and_o bewail_v my_o sad_a spiritual_a condition_n though_o i_o have_v say_v nothing_o to_o what_o i_o shall_v say_v have_v i_o not_o tell_v thou_o lord_n with_o tear_n in_o my_o eye_n and_o with_o a_o sad_a heart_n that_o i_o find_v my_o corruption_n get_v ground_n of_o i_o my_o prayer_n my_o tear_n my_o resolution_n and_o some_o endeavour_n do_v resist_v but_o can_v overcome_v they_o these_o keep_v they_o from_o prevail_v so_o soon_o but_o not_o from_o prevail_v i_o humble_o confess_v or_o desire_v so_o to_o do_v that_o i_o may_v complain_v to_o thou_o but_o i_o shall_v add_v to_o my_o abomination_n exceed_o if_o i_o shall_v complain_v of_o thou_o my_o heart_n do_v almost_o tempt_v i_o to_o it_o when_o i_o consider_v what_o i_o be_v and_o what_o i_o be_o it_o be_v as_o a_o talon_n of_o lead_n upon_o my_o soul_n yet_o since_o by_o my_o preach_n thou_o be_v glorify_v and_o thy_o people_n edify_v more_o than_o if_o i_o shall_v spend_v all_o my_o time_n in_o private_a meditation_n i_o be_o willing_a to_o submit_v only_o i_o do_v humble_o beseech_v thou_o with_o tear_n in_o my_o eye_n that_o though_o i_o have_v less_o time_n to_o spend_v in_o such_o private_a duty_n yet_o that_o my_o poor_a soul_n may_v not_o lose_v her_o love_n to_o they_o and_o though_o i_o perform_v few_o duty_n i_o may_v not_o perform_v they_o worse_o than_o i_o do_v when_o i_o perform_v more_o meditat._n v._n i_o do_v much_o wonder_n at_o myself_o and_o at_o many_o nay_o somewhat_o at_o all_o christian_n upon_o day_n of_o humiliation_n but_o most_o at_o myself_o to_o hear_v the_o tongue_n of_o a_o poor_a christian_a confess_v and_o his_o eye_n weep_v for_o his_o sin_n and_o speak_v of_o they_o with_o such_o expression_n and_o such_o sigh_n that_o one_o will_v think_v sure_o this_o christian_n keep_v a_o strict_a communion_n with_o god_n sure_o he_o will_v not_o sin_v for_o a_o world_n sure_o god_n be_v in_o all_o this_o man_n thought_n and_o yet_o stay_v but_o while_o he_o have_v do_v his_o prayer_n and_o you_o find_v in_o he_o such_o strong_a thought_n word_n and_o action_n that_o be_v almost_o incredible_a loose_a and_o idle_a word_n and_o vain_a thought_n i_o but_o too_o often_o experience_n make_v it_o even_o past_a hope_n it_o shall_v be_v otherwise_o with_o i_o if_o any_o town_n that_o be_v strait_o besiege_v with_o cruel_a enemy_n shall_v send_v for_o aid_n to_o such_o or_o such_o and_o when_o they_o come_v they_o shall_v send_v out_o most_o of_o the_o town_n to_o join_v with_o the_o enemy_n against_o those_o that_o come_v to_o help_v they_o what_o we_o will_v say_v of_o such_o people_n lord_n just_o thus_o be_v we_o we_o have_v a_o world_n of_o corruption_n and_o temptation_n sin_n and_o hell_n and_o satan_n all_o beset_v we_o all_o beset_v we_o and_o violent_o assault_v we_o we_o pray_v for_o the_o help_n of_o god_n against_o they_o day_n after_o day_n we_o send_v our_o prayer_n to_o heaven_n for_o assistance_n well_o god_n do_v send_v his_o holy_a spirit_n to_o help_v this_o poor_a soul_n in_o the_o ministry_n of_o the_o word_n tell_v we_o
what_o we_o shall_v do_v to_o overcome_v these_o enemy_n and_o send_v many_o motion_n of_o the_o spirit_n to_o bring_v into_o our_o soul_n grace_v to_o strengthen_v we_o we_o will_v not_o do_v what_o he_o advise_v we_o to_o do_v nay_o but_o we_o take_v part_n with_o our_o corruption_n and_o resist_v and_o fight_v against_o the_o power_n of_o the_o world_n to_o come_v oh_o thy_o patience_n be_v not_o to_o be_v understand_v i_o be_o weary_a to_o think_v before_o i_o go_v to_o prayer_n how_o little_a fruit_n i_o expect_v from_o they_o i_o pray_v and_o pray_v and_o weep_v and_o read_v and_o hear_v and_o sigh_v and_o confess_v these_o as_o well_o as_o other_o of_o my_o sin_n and_o yet_o as_o a_o ship_n in_o the_o sea_n they_o do_v divide_v my_o corruption_n for_o the_o present_a but_o they_o present_o return_v to_o their_o former_a course_n lord_n do_v not_o the_o bowel_n of_o thy_o compassion_n yern_v within_o thou_o to_o see_v i_o thy_o poor_a servant_n in_o such_o a_o miserable_a condition_n as_o i_o be_o in_o do_v thou_o not_o see_v how_o sin_n and_o corruption_n do_v as_o it_o be_v lie_v gnaw_v upon_o i_o and_o eat_v up_o my_o very_a flesh_n and_o destroy_v my_o soul_n and_o i_o have_v neither_o hand_n nor_o foot_n to_o move_v against_o they_o lord_n who_o be_v it_o that_o must_v make_v i_o hate_v corruption_n be_v it_o not_o thy_o spirit_n who_o must_v overcome_v my_o resist_n of_o thy_o spirit_n be_v it_o not_o thy_o spirit_n lord_n i_o do_v not_o know_v in_o the_o world_n what_o to_o do_v to_o leave_v off_o strive_v be_v not_o only_o to_o despair_v of_o thy_o goodness_n because_o thou_o do_v not_o help_v as_o much_o and_o when_o i_o will_v and_o beside_o if_o i_o can_v get_v ground_n nay_o though_o notwithstanding_o i_o lose_v ground_n yet_o doubtless_o i_o shall_v not_o go_v so_o swift_o down_o stream_n as_o if_o i_o strive_v not_o at_o all_o if_o i_o must_v be_v forsake_v by_o thou_o to_o all_o eternity_n yet_o lord_n let_v i_o not_o while_o i_o live_v so_o fall_v that_o i_o shall_v be_v a_o scandal_n to_o religion_n alas_o be_v it_o come_v to_o this_o o_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o must_v say_v if_o god_n will_v forsake_v i_o for_o ever_o meditat._n vi._n in_o the_o most_o serious_a address_n of_o my_o soul_n to_o take_v hold_n upon_o god_n i_o find_v a_o unhappy_a frozennesse_n benumb_v the_o best_a of_o my_o devotion_n and_o thereby_o i_o show_v either_o that_o i_o be_o extreme_o ignorant_a of_o thou_o lord_n or_o what_o be_v worse_o senseless_a of_o thou_o the_o truth_n be_v i_o may_v just_o tremble_v when_o i_o come_v to_o keep_v any_o day_n of_o humiliation_n in_o thy_o sight_n not_o only_o because_o of_o the_o desperate_a sin_n i_o be_o gulity_n of_o but_o special_o because_o such_o duty_n do_v work_v little_a or_o nothing_o upon_o i_o and_o this_o be_v sure_a enough_o that_o those_o ordinance_n that_o do_v not_o foften_v do_v harden_v i_o be_o in_o a_o great_a straight_o my_o conscience_n drive_v i_o upon_o duty_n and_o i_o dare_v not_o omit_v they_o and_o yet_o my_o heart_n be_v so_o hard_a and_o filthy_a that_o they_o do_v not_o purify_v i_o so_o i_o be_o more_o defile_v then_o before_o ah_o my_o god_n thou_o know_v what_o affliction_n be_v bitter_a and_o strong_a enough_o to_o purge_v these_o corruption_n lord_n send_v they_o and_o though_o i_o be_o so_o vile_a that_o i_o do_v not_o now_o fervent_o and_o earnest_o enough_o desire_n to_o be_v cure_v but_o yet_o lord_n i_o know_v my_o want_n of_o desire_n of_o reformation_n be_v one_o of_o my_o great_a corruption_n i_o desire_v to_o be_v cure_v of_o that_o or_o at_o least_o lord_n thy_o fatherly_a goodness_n i_o hope_v will_v take_v care_n to_o cure_v i_o of_o that_o and_o lord_n this_o i_o know_v that_o when_o thou_o shall_v send_v any_o such_o affliction_n upon_o i_o i_o shall_v it_o be_v too_o likely_a murmur_n and_o be_v weary_a of_o the_o chastisement_n of_o the_o lord_n it_o may_v be_v i_o shall_v pray_v for_o the_o take_n off_o of_o that_o corrasive_n before_o it_o have_v eat_v away_o that_o deadness_n of_o heart_n and_o other_o corruption_n that_o now_o lie_v upon_o i_o yet_o lord_n do_v not_o yield_v to_o such_o prayer_n go_v on_o with_o thy_o cure_n and_o if_o i_o be_v impatient_a cure_n that_o corruption_n also_o and_o every_o other_o corruption_n that_o shall_v appear_v in_o the_o time_n of_o cure_n of_o any_o corruption_n we_o shall_v bless_v thou_o one_o day_n for_o not_o hear_v and_o not_o grant_v such_o prayer_n as_o shall_v be_v for_o our_o spiritual_a harm_n lord_n death_n be_v very_o bitter_a unto_o i_o sure_o it_o will_v not_o be_v so_o bitter_a if_o there_o be_v no_o root_n of_o bitterness_n in_o i_o if_o i_o keep_v a_o strict_a communion_n with_o thou_o in_o this_o world_n i_o shall_v long_o for_o a_o full_a communion_n with_o thou_o in_o heaven_n for_o ever_o meditat._n vii_o since_o our_o dear_a lord_n jesus_n christ_n have_v love_v i_o and_o give_v himself_o for_o i_o oh_o that_o my_o heart_n be_v ravish_v with_o his_o love_n oh_o that_o he_o be_v the_o belove_a of_o my_o soul_n and_o that_o i_o be_v sick_a of_o his_o love_n who_o die_v for_o the_o love_n of_o i_o oh_o that_o i_o can_v not_o be_v stay_v but_o with_o his_o flagon_n this_o my_o jesus_n the_o chief_a of_o ten_o thousand_o have_v tell_v i_o that_o he_o that_o see_v thou_o see_v the_o father_n whereby_o i_o understand_v that_o thou_o be_v just_a as_o he_o be_v as_o pitiful_a as_o gracious_a as_o willing_a to_o forgive_v as_o sweet_a and_o as_o easy_a to_o be_v entreat_v as_o my_o good_a saviour_n and_o in_o all_o the_o thing_n and_o passage_n that_o thy_o word_n have_v make_v know_v to_o we_o of_o he_o i_o read_v not_o of_o one_o of_o all_o that_o come_v to_o he_o not_o one_o poor_a soul_n that_o ever_o beg_v any_o grace_n or_o any_o pardon_n nor_o never_o do_v any_o come_v to_o be_v heal_v of_o any_o bodily_a disease_n in_o vain_a lord_n thou_o be_v as_o he_o be_v lord_n jesus_n thou_o be_v as_o thou_o be_v thy_o be_v in_o heaven_n make_v thou_o not_o less_o like_o thy_o father_n or_o thyself_o bless_v god_n i_o do_v beseech_v thou_o i_o do_v beseech_v thou_o to_o give_v i_o to_o give_v i_o thy_o poor_a hard-hearted_a servant_n a_o soft_a heart_n lord_n jesus_n i_o beseech_v thou_o thou_o see_v my_o hard_a my_o poor_a heart_n desire_v as_o imperfect_o as_o cold_o to_o make_v intercession_n for_o i_o i_o for_o who_o thou_o have_v pay_v a_o dear_a price_n as_o one_o that_o have_v be_v so_o long_o from_o his_o friend_n that_o he_o can_v hardly_o call_v to_o remembrance_n what_o countenance_n he_o have_v so_o i_o poor_a i_o that_o can_v choose_v but_o pity_v the_o sad_a condition_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n which_o though_o it_o do_v not_o incessant_o and_o importunate_o desire_v grace_n as_o it_o shall_v yet_o methinks_v it_o be_v a_o sad_a thing_n to_o see_v it_o in_o such_o a_o careless_a temper_n i_o be_o such_o a_o stranger_n to_o thou_o that_o i_o have_v much_o a_o do_v to_o make_v one_o thought_n of_o thy_o sweet_a love_n and_o excellency_n that_o may_v affect_v my_o heart_n and_o bring_v the_o sweet_a apprehension_n of_o thou_o to_o remembrance_n thy_o tender_a mercy_n and_o former_a relish_v of_o thy_o goodness_n be_v to_o i_o like_o the_o shadow_n of_o death_n they_o be_v as_o christ_n walk_v upon_o the_o water_n they_o terrify_v i_o lord_n let_v i_o weep_v thou_o to_o i_o again_o oh_o my_o god_n i_o be_o undo_v undo_v undo_v a_o poor_a undo_v creature_n those_o in_o desertion_n be_v in_o a_o thousand_o time_n better_a condition_n than_o i_o be_o they_o want_v the_o comfort_n but_o then_o indeed_o they_o have_v the_o grace_n of_o the_o spirit_n but_o be_v not_o my_o poor_a soul_n that_o want_v both_o in_o a_o sad_a condition_n that_o can_v sit_v down_o and_o fall_v asleep_a when_o i_o shall_v seek_v my_o saviour_n i_o have_v a_o soul_n of_o such_o a_o temper_n as_o make_v i_o wonder_v at_o myself_o as_o in_o the_o spring_n and_o sometime_o there_o will_v come_v a_o cloud_n that_o will_v seem_v to_o overspread_v the_o heaven_n and_o yet_o on_o the_o sudden_a all_o will_v be_v blow_v over_o and_o the_o day_n so_o fair_a that_o there_o will_v not_o be_v a_o cloud_n to_o be_v see_v so_o be_o i_o sometime_o my_o heart_n be_v full_a of_o sorrow_n and_o my_o eye_n full_a of_o tear_n and_o yet_o upon_o the_o sudden_a my_o heart_n lose_v that_o sweet_a sad_a temper_n and_o all_o be_v blow_v over_o and_o not_o a_o cloud_n appear_v and_o these_o cloud_n of_o grief_n be_v not_o disperse_v with_o the_o comfort_n and_o joy_n of_o thy_o
spirit_n but_o with_o worldly_a business_n or_o company_n when_o i_o do_v grieve_v for_o my_o sin_n carnal_a grief_n bear_v a_o share_n in_o it_o and_o carnal_a joy_n abolish_v it_o meditat._v viii_o to_o confess_v my_o sin_n without_o any_o sense_n of_o they_o without_o any_o hatred_n of_o they_o to_o pray_v for_o grace_n and_o not_o to_o be_v sensible_a of_o the_o necessity_n or_o excellency_n of_o it_o to_o come_v to_o thy_o ordinance_n without_o reap_v any_o good_a from_o they_o to_o think_v and_o meditate_v of_o thou_o and_o neither_o admire_v nor_o love_v thou_o nor_o long_o and_o delight_v to_o be_v in_o thy_o company_n to_o what_o purpose_n be_v these_o thing_n thou_o desire_v of_o we_o our_o heart_n and_o not_o our_o work_n word_n or_o thought_n without_o that_o ah_o my_o lord_n and_o my_o god_n shall_v all_o be_v in_o vain_a and_o will_v thou_o cast_v i_o off_o for_o ever_o do_v thou_o hate_v my_o soul_n and_o be_o i_o a_o abomination_n unto_o thou_o must_v i_o be_v shut_v out_o for_o ever_o and_o never_o enjoy_v the_o sweetness_n of_o thy_o presence_n thou_o will_v not_o o_o my_o god_n thou_o will_v not_o thou_o can_v not_o o_o my_o god_n thou_o can_v not_o for_o thou_o have_v make_v a_o covenant_n with_o i_o and_o i_o claim_v that_o covenant_n for_o i_o have_v not_o any_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n beside_o thy_o covenant_n in_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n that_o i_o can_v so_o much_o as_o have_v the_o least_o hope_n that_o will_v do_v i_o any_o good_a if_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n do_v not_o sit_v at_o thy_o right_a hand_n to_o make_v intercession_n for_o i_o my_o sin_n continual_o daily_o hourly_o clamor_v against_o i_o and_o accuse_v of_o i_o must_v needs_o prevail_v against_o i_o alas_o my_o heart_n be_v far_o from_o that_o spiritual_a frame_n that_o thou_o require_v for_o the_o misery_n that_o sin_n bring_v be_v more_o troublesome_a and_o heavy_a to_o i_o then_o the_o filthiness_n that_o be_v in_o sin_n thy_o blessing_n be_v more_o lovely_a in_o our_o eye_n then_o thyself_o every_o duty_n harden_v i_o in_o my_o formality_n lord_n thou_o be_v the_o father_n of_o mercy_n oh_o have_v mercy_n upon_o i_o for_o my_o case_n be_v not_o the_o common_a case_n of_o thy_o people_n but_o few_o few_o of_o many_o may_v be_v find_v who_o soul_n be_v like_o my_o poor_a soul_n for_o where_o be_v there_o any_o that_o can_v say_v so_o and_o yet_o be_v so_o little_o affect_v as_o i_o be_o meditat._n ix_o my_o hope_n be_v false_a and_o my_o fear_n be_v true_a the_o deadly_a poison_n do_v not_o make_v i_o sick_a nor_o the_o excellent_a cordial_n do_v not_o comfort_v i_o i_o be_o not_o sick_a of_o sin_n nor_o do_v the_o sacrament_n of_o the_o body_n and_o blood_n of_o christ_n fill_v i_o with_o joy_n nay_o rather_o do_v it_o not_o fill_v i_o with_o grief_n and_o fear_n if_o my_o sear_n and_o grief_n be_v not_o carnal_a will_v they_o be_v more_o but_o my_o carnal_a joy_n eat_v out_o my_o spiritual_a grief_n and_o my_o joy_n also_o i_o be_o as_o it_o be_v like_o absalon_n i_o hang_v between_o heaven_n and_o earth_n i_o will_v fain_o have_v heaven_n and_o yet_o will_v not_o part_v with_o earth_n oh_o my_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n be_v thou_o of_o no_o more_o excellency_n in_o my_o eye_n do_v thy_o love_n to_o i_o raise_v up_o no_o more_o love_n in_o i_o then_o to_o stand_v deliberate_v what_o to_o do_v when_o thou_o stand_v with_o stretch_v out_o arm_n to_o receive_v i_o to_o thy_o bosom_n can_v thou_o love_v one_o that_o love_v thou_o so_o little_a as_o i_o do_v thou_o do_v love_v i_o when_o i_o love_v thou_o not_o at_o all_o why_o sit_v thou_o so_o sad_a o_o my_o soul_n go_v cast_v thyself_o into_o the_o arm_n and_o bosom_n of_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n there_o lie_v and_o hear_v the_o beat_n of_o his_o heart_n towards_o thou_o and_o it_o may_v be_v thou_o may_v be_v warm_v with_o the_o heat_n of_o his_o love_n christ_n pour_v out_o the_o boil_a stream_n of_o his_o heartblood_n upon_o thy_o poor_a soul_n for_o his_o heart_n boil_a in_o love_n towards_o thou_o and_o can_v thy_o heart_n still_o be_v freeze_v oh_o infidelity_n thou_o be_v the_o poison_n of_o my_o soul_n thou_o with_o thy_o cold_a blast_n haste_v freeze_v my_o heart_n and_o keep_v it_o so_o lord_n give_v i_o faith_n or_o else_o all_o thy_o mercy_n be_v in_o vain_a thy_o love_n be_v and_o have_v be_v too_o great_a for_o i_o to_o believe_v lord_n thou_o that_o love_v i_o so_o much_o as_o to_o give_v i_o christ_n oh_o love_v i_o so_o much_o as_o to_o give_v i_o faith_n to_o believe_v it_o there_o remain_v in_o my_o heart_n no_o more_o than_o the_o first_o spark_n of_o thy_o love_n and_o the_o first_o principle_n of_o grace_n that_o thou_o do_v put_v into_o my_o soul_n when_o thou_o do_v regenerate_v i_o all_o the_o flame_n be_v go_v out_o that_o be_v once_o kindle_v in_o i_o all_o the_o fruit_n and_o leaf_n and_o bough_n be_v strip_v from_o i_o there_o be_v all_o thing_n to_o do_v beside_o bare_a regeneration_n i_o be_o as_o a_o arm_n cut_v off_o so_o that_o it_o hang_v only_o by_o a_o little_a skin_n a_o slender_a thread_n lord_n this_o be_v my_o hope_n that_o my_o corruption_n and_o satan_n that_o have_v quench_v these_o flame_n that_o i_o have_v have_v shall_v never_o be_v able_a to_o quench_v this_o spark_n but_o alas_o that_o be_v a_o poor_a comfort_n that_o this_o be_v all_o my_o comfort_n that_o i_o shall_v not_o lose_v heaven_n though_o it_o be_v a_o thousand_o time_n too_o great_a a_o comfort_n for_o such_o a_o wretched_a sinner_n as_o i_o be_o to_o have_v be_v it_o nothing_o to_o lose_v all_o my_o comfort_n all_o my_o duty_n all_o my_o sweet_a communion_n with_o thou_o or_o at_o least_o only_o so_o much_o of_o these_o remain_v as_o to_o keep_v i_o from_o be_v utter_o cast_v off_o for_o one_o that_o have_v fare_v delicious_o every_o day_n to_o come_v to_o have_v no_o more_o bread_n then_o to_o keep_v life_n and_o soul_n together_o though_o he_o die_v not_o yet_o he_o have_v a_o miserable_a life_n thus_o thus_o and_o far_o worse_a it_o be_v with_o i_o meditat._n x._o if_o i_o stand_v clear_a before_o thou_o o_o my_o god_n of_o those_o many_o sin_n of_o sencelesnesse_n under_o judgement_n fruitlessness_n under_o ordinance_n mispend_v of_o time_n want_v of_o watchfulness_n of_o mien_n own_o way_n and_o for_o the_o appear_v of_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n only_o my_o sin_n of_o unkindenesse_n to_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n be_v enough_o to_o cause_v thou_o to_o take_v away_o thy_o mercy_n from_o i_o i_o have_v hear_v and_o read_v the_o great_a mystery_n of_o my_o redemption_n of_o his_o be_v scourge_v and_o crown_v and_o nail_v of_o his_o bleed_a and_o die_v for_o i_o of_o his_o great_a love_n and_o such_o thing_n that_o if_o a_o friend_n of_o this_o world_n have_v do_v or_o suffer_v the_o thousand_o part_n so_o much_o his_o memory_n will_v have_v be_v precious_a meditat._n xi_o ah_o my_o dear_a god_n thou_o have_v be_v my_o god_n and_o therefore_o thou_o be_v my_o god_n how_o little_o can_v my_o soul_n know_v by_o any_o thing_n that_o i_o now_o either_o do_v or_o feel_v i_o be_o fain_a to_o fetch_v evidence_n and_o sign_n from_o action_n do_v many_o year_n since_o my_o prayer_n and_o other_o holy_a duty_n be_v matter_n of_o more_o joy_n when_o i_o do_v they_o then_o now_o they_o have_v terror_n in_o they_o now_o i_o think_v i_o do_v they_o not_o as_o heretofore_o i_o have_v be_v assist_v by_o thy_o grace_n oh_o my_o lose_a joy_n and_o my_o lose_a duty_n where_o i_o shall_v find_v you_o i_o know_v not_o the_o joy_n i_o have_v former_o and_o the_o great_a zeal_n of_o my_o heart_n make_v i_o pray_v but_o now_o not_o out_o of_o feeling_n and_o zeal_n but_o for_o zeal_n and_o joy_n and_o i_o go_v from_o prayer_n with_o a_o sad_a heart_n and_o a_o hard_a heart_n my_o prayer_n come_v neither_o from_o my_o heart_n nor_o reach_n to_o my_o heart_n oh_o my_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n where_o be_v thy_o motion_n and_o the_o joy_n of_o thy_o spirit_n to_o work_v thy_o own_o work_n in_o i_o why_o do_v i_o walk_v in_o this_o valley_n of_o tear_n not_o only_o without_o comfort_n but_o without_o grace_n i_o do_v even_o stand_v astonish_v at_o myself_o to_o see_v the_o vast_a difference_n between_o myself_o now_o and_o when_o i_o be_v thou_o when_o the_o candle_n of_o the_o almighty_a shine_v upon_o my_o soul_n and_o the_o spirit_n of_o my_o god_n dwell_v in_o i_o than_o sorrow_n and_o weep_v fly_v away_o alas_o i_o now_o have_v scarce_o any_o thing_n leave_v i_o but_o
be_v so_o full_a of_o thy_o praise_n when_o thou_o communicate_a thyself_o so_o full_o to_o they_o the_o crumb_n that_o fall_v from_o thy_o table_n be_v too_o much_o for_o i_o these_o temporal_a blessing_n be_v more_o than_o i_o can_v challenge_v yet_o lord_n i_o can_v be_v content_a with_o they_o give_v i_o thyself_o and_o it_o suffice_v for_o all_o be_v nothing_o and_o snare_n without_o thou_o meditat._n xl._n alas_o my_o god_n pride_n and_o despair_n divide_v my_o life_n when_o i_o find_v any_o thing_n i_o do_v in_o some_o manner_n as_o i_o shall_v i_o begin_v to_o be_v puff_v up_o and_o think_v that_o i_o do_v more_o than_o some_o other_o of_o god_n people_n and_o when_o i_o look_v upon_o my_o fail_n these_o thought_n begin_v to_o arise_v it_o be_v in_o vain_a i_o shall_v never_o overcome_v such_o corruption_n my_o sin_n do_v i_o more_o harm_n by_o discourage_v i_o then_o in_o the_o commission_n meditat._n xli_o lord_n there_o be_v no_o peace_n until_o thou_o have_v all_o our_o love_n while_o our_o heart_n be_v divide_v between_o the_o world_n and_o thou_o we_o can_v have_v no_o quiet_a natural_a conscience_n draw_v one_o way_n and_o natural_a corruption_n another_o way_n it_o be_v our_o ignorance_n that_o make_v we_o think_v that_o there_o be_v not_o enough_o in_o thou_o to_o satisfy_v all_o our_o desire_n and_o to_o supply_v our_o want_n which_o make_v we_o join_v the_o creature_n with_o thou_o when_o lord_n when_o shall_v all_o my_o thought_n be_v of_o thou_o i_o be_o weary_a of_o be_v thus_o divide_v lord_n if_o i_o can_v dispose_v of_o myself_o i_o give_v myself_o whole_o to_o thou_o o_o refuse_v not_o that_o gift_n which_o thou_o have_v so_o often_o desire_v thou_o have_v say_v give_v i_o thy_o hearr_n lord_n my_o heart_n belong_v while_o thou_o have_v it_o if_o thou_o say_v that_o i_o do_v not_o give_v myself_o free_o and_o whole_o enough_o alas_o nor_o never_o shall_v until_o thou_o take_v my_o heart_n and_o discover_v the_o secret_n of_o thy_o love_n unto_o i_o when_o thou_o do_v that_o i_o shall_v run_v after_o thou_o lord_n here_o be_v my_o poor_a soul_n it_o lie_v at_o thy_o sit_fw-mi grovel_v and_o gasp_v for_o life_n the_o creature_n have_v leave_v i_o and_o i_o have_v leave_v the_o creature_n and_o will_v not_o that_o it_o shall_v have_v any_o more_o of_o my_o love_n but_o it_o still_o woo_v i_o and_o follow_v i_o for_o my_o love_n unless_o thou_o overcome_v these_o strong_a corruption_n i_o shall_v never_o be_v at_o quiet_a meditat._n xlii_o sometime_o my_o heart_n begin_v to_o be_v fill_v with_o joy_n so_o that_o i_o be_o ready_a to_o cry_v out_o thou_o be_v my_o exceed_a joy_n and_o then_o i_o consider_v what_o i_o shall_v do_v for_o i_o be_o afraid_a that_o my_o joy_n be_v false_a when_o i_o consider_v how_o i_o come_v by_o it_o whether_o my_o prayer_n have_v be_v more_o fervent_a and_o frequent_a of_o late_a or_o my_o repentance_n more_o profound_a in_o the_o midst_n of_o this_o consideration_n i_o can_v hardly_o say_v but_o think_v with_o my_o self_n why_o shall_v i_o delay_v or_o refrain_v my_o enjoyment_n of_o god_n and_o be_o ready_a to_o say_v within_o myself_o the_o false_a joy_n in_o god_n be_v better_o than_o the_o true_a joy_n of_o the_o world_n these_o joy_n be_v too_o sweet_a to_o let_v go_v lord_n jesus_n when_o thou_o kiss_v i_o with_o the_o kiss_n of_o thy_o mouth_n i_o will_v kiss_v the_o son_n lest_o he_o be_v angry_a lord_n thou_o be_v too_o good_a for_o i_o if_o i_o may_v say_v so_o how_o can_v i_o ever_o expect_v that_o thou_o shall_v come_v near_o i_o more_o the_o poor_a love_n i_o have_v make_v i_o say_v a_o thousand_o world_n and_o a_o thousand_o heaven_n for_o my_o god_n the_o small_a beam_n of_o the_o light_n of_o thy_o countenance_n be_v so_o sweet_a lord_n if_o thou_o will_v but_o continue_v the_o joy_n thou_o sometime_o afforde_o i_o have_v enough_o i_o need_v not_o the_o comforr_v of_o the_o world_n to_o make_v it_o up_o nor_o fear_v that_o the_o affliction_n of_o the_o world_n though_o one_o need_v continual_a supply_n of_o comfort_n to_o support_v one_o yet_o they_o can_v not_o spend_v they_o meditat._n xliii_o i_o will_v go_v to_o god_n say_v david_n he_o be_v my_o exceed_a joy_n a_o sweet_a say_n o_o that_o there_o be_v such_o a_o heart_n in_o i_o yet_o i_o have_v a_o unenflamed_a heart_n a_o freeze_a heart_n if_o i_o leave_v all_o thing_n and_o myself_o i_o shall_v find_v thou_o but_o these_o poor_a joy_n of_o the_o world_n quench_v the_o joy_n of_o the_o spirit_n i_o shut_v out_o the_o glorious_a beam_n of_o thy_o heat_n and_o light_n and_o light_v up_o the_o candle_n of_o the_o creature_n which_o have_v neither_o heat_n nor_o light_n in_o comparison_n of_o thou_o when_o i_o go_v about_o to_o rejoice_v in_o thou_o my_o sin_n come_v and_o tell_v i_o that_o they_o must_v be_v mourn_v for_o first_o any_o thing_n lord_n any_o thing_n so_o i_o may_v do_v what_o be_v please_v in_o thy_o sight_n i_o be_o willing_a to_o stay_v for_o my_o joy_n while_o thou_o be_v please_v to_o give_v they_o only_o i_o beseech_v and_o desire_v these_o three_o thing_n of_o thou_o 1._o that_o i_o may_v not_o want_v grace_n though_o i_o want_v joy_n 2._o that_o i_o may_v not_o go_v about_o to_o make_v up_o the_o want_n of_o thy_o joy_n with_o carnal_a joy_n let_v i_o not_o kindle_v a_o fire_n and_o walk_v and_o rejoice_v in_o the_o light_n and_o spark_n of_o what_o i_o have_v kindle_v etc._n etc._n 3._o that_o though_o thou_o have_v kindle_v joy_n yet_o that_o i_o may_v have_v sorrow_n that_o be_v spiritual_a lord_n how_o abundant_o good_a art_n thou_o to_o they_o that_o love_v thou_o i_o lie_v under_o the_o weight_n of_o thy_o love_n and_o thy_o joy_n when_o i_o come_v hungry_a and_o thirsty_a to_o thou_o to_o be_v satisfy_v with_o thy_o joy_n to_o the_o utmost_a i_o ie_fw-fr now_o as_o a_o ship_n upon_o the_o shore_n while_o the_o tide_n of_o thy_o joy_n come_v and_o lift_v i_o up_o and_o carry_v i_o into_o the_o ocean_n of_o thy_o goodness_n when_o marry_o magdalene_n stand_v weep_v at_o the_o sepulchre_n thou_o do_v call_v she_o by_o her_o name_n and_o she_o forget_v all_o her_o sorrow_n she_o leave_v her_o tear_n the_o sepulchre_n and_o the_o angel_n and_o cry_v out_o rabboni_n my_o heart_n make_v i_o believe_v that_o i_o will_v give_v the_o whole_a world_n to_o see_v jesus_n christ_n for_o i_o think_v if_o i_o can_v see_v he_o i_o shall_v lie_v down_o at_o his_o foot_n and_o beg_v his_o grace_n and_o he_o will_v not_o deny_v i_o this_o be_v part_n of_o my_o weakness_n and_o want_n of_o faith_n for_o he_o hear_v my_o prayer_n as_o full_o and_o be_v as_o willing_a to_o grant_v they_o now_o he_o be_v in_o heaven_n as_o if_o he_o be_v on_o earth_n lord_n jesus_n thou_o that_o never_o do_v deny_v any_o poor_a soul_n that_o come_v to_o thou_o for_o grace_n and_o pardon_n thou_o never_o send_v they_o empty_a away_o but_o grant_v their_o request_n have_v mercy_n upon_o i_o o_o lord_n my_o need_n and_o want_n be_v as_o many_o and_o as_o great_a as_o any_o of_o they_o all_o and_o if_o my_o sense_n of_o my_o misery_n be_v not_o so_o great_a my_o misery_n be_v so_o much_o the_o great_a meditat._n xliv_o lord_n i_o perceive_v that_o spiritual_a sorrow_n and_o spiritual_a joy_n be_v whole_o thy_o work_n for_o my_o sin_n be_v as_o many_o as_o great_a and_o of_o as_o deep_a a_o dye_n as_o any_o in_o the_o world_n that_o be_v not_o the_o sin_n against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n and_o i_o be_o full_o and_o sensible_o convince_v of_o it_o that_o they_o be_v so_o and_o yet_o i_o be_o as_o senseless_a as_o if_o my_o condition_n be_v quite_o hopeless_a for_o be_v it_o not_o so_o can_v i_o possible_o be_v so_o sear_v as_o i_o be_o thou_o have_v say_v i_o will_v take_v away_o the_o stony_a heart_n lord_n if_o thou_o will_v work_v who_o or_o what_o can_v hinder_v my_o corruption_n and_o my_o sin_n have_v and_o do_v harden_v my_o heart_n by_o have_v and_o commit_v they_o nor_o will_v they_o soften_v it_o by_o consider_v they_o what_o hinder_v thou_o from_o take_v away_o the_o infidelity_n and_o stoninesse_n of_o my_o heart_n if_o that_o hardness_n and_o infidelity_n do_v why_o that_o be_v the_o thing_n to_o be_v cure_v if_o i_o be_v not_o sick_a i_o need_v not_o a_o physician_n lord_n i_o say_v not_o this_o to_o justify_v myself_o for_o it_o be_v thou_o of_o thy_o free_a grace_n that_o must_v justify_v i_o for_o i_o be_o lose_v and_o so_o for_o joy_n and_o comfort_n though_o i_o read_v and_o hear_v of_o the_o comfort_n that_o thou_o pour_v
i_o must_v come_v to_o judgement_n therefore_o those_o resolution_n that_o i_o have_v make_v of_o walk_v more_o strict_o give_v i_o grace_n to_o perform_v they_o to_o the_o utmost_a 2._o praise_v god_n bless_a be_v thy_o name_n o_o god_n for_o any_o inward_a motion_n of_o thy_o spirit_n that_o thou_o have_v afford_v i_o and_o for_o any_o etc._n etc._n 3._o acknowledge_v thy_o weakness_n etc._n etc._n bless_a god_n if_o my_o heart_n be_v not_o so_o base_a so_o hard_o so_o vile_a that_o it_o always_o hinder_v i_o either_o in_o holy_a duty_n or_o from_o holy_a duty_n it_o be_v not_o possible_a but_o that_o such_o serious_a truth_n such_o powerful_a spiritual_a practical_a truth_n shall_v have_v wrought_v so_o mighty_o upon_o i_o that_o i_o shall_v never_o from_o this_o very_a hour_n be_v deceive_v any_o more_o with_o the_o vanity_n of_o the_o world_n but_o shall_v have_v set_v myself_o and_o make_v it_o my_o business_n to_o prepare_v for_o that_o great_a day_n etc._n etc._n after_o all_o 1._o think_v what_o passage_n most_o affect_v thou_o 2._o write_v down_o thy_o resolution_n etc._n etc._n 3._o go_v unwilling_o from_o the_o duty_n meditat_fw-la v._o of_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n 1._o be_v convince_v of_o and_o affect_v with_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n 2._o beg_v of_o god_n that_o he_o will_v enable_v thou_o serious_o to_o think_v of_o firm_o to_o believe_v and_o strong_o to_o be_v affect_v with_o the_o truth_n concern_v the_o day_n of_o judgement_n consideration_n 1._o consider_v how_o dreadful_a and_o terrible_a that_o day_n will_v be_v when_o the_o sea_n shall_v roar_v when_o the_o very_a power_n of_o heaven_n shall_v be_v shake_v when_o christ_n shall_v come_v with_o thousand_o of_o his_o angel_n in_o flame_a fire_n when_o a_o angel_n come_v down_o from_o heaven_n to_o roll_v away_o the_o stone_n the_o soldier_n that_o watch_v there_o become_v as_o dead_a man_n nay_o the_o holy_a man_n that_o have_v live_v have_v be_v exceed_o afraid_a when_o at_o thing_n of_o far_o less_o terror_n than_o those_o thing_n be_v which_o will_v be_v at_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n for_o moses_n himself_o do_v exceed_o fear_v and_o tremble_v when_o he_o hear_v and_o see_v the_o terrible_a sign_n that_o be_v at_o the_o give_v of_o the_o law_n and_o the_o bless_a apostle_n heb._n 12.21_o become_v as_o a_o dead_a man_n when_o he_o see_v christ_n not_o in_o flame_a fire_n as_o he_o shall_v appear_v at_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n rev._n 1.17_o 2._o consider_v that_o at_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n sin_n will_v appear_v out_o of_o measure_n sinful_a for_o than_o it_o will_v appear_v with_o all_o its_o aggravation_n for_o the_o majesty_n holiness_n and_o mercy_n of_o god_n will_v appear_v in_o their_o perfect_a glory_n man_n shall_v then_o know_v what_o it_o be_v to_o sin_n against_o god_n our_o ignorance_n of_o god_n now_o make_v we_o so_o senseless_a of_o the_o sinfulness_n of_o sin_n but_o when_o god_n shall_v appear_v like_o himself_o how_o shall_v those_o sin_n that_o man_n now_o make_v light_n of_o make_v they_o run_v mad_a with_o despair_n 3._o consider_v o_o my_o soul_n that_o those_o excuse_n that_o now_o quiet_v thou_o will_v not_o serve_v at_o that_o day_n nay_o thou_o will_v be_v ashamed_a to_o own_v they_o 4._o consider_v how_o strict_a a_o account_n god_n will_v require_v of_o thou_o at_o that_o day_n if_o only_o thy_o grosser_n abomination_n that_o be_v odious_a in_o the_o sight_n of_o all_o man_n shall_v be_v bring_v to_o judgement_n but_o the_o small_a sin_n that_o ever_o thou_o commit_v every_o idle_a word_n and_o every_o vain_a thought_n the_o very_a ground_n manner_n and_o end_n of_o thy_o most_o holy_fw-mi performance_n shall_v then_o appear_v more_o dreadful_o sinful_a then_o now_o the_o most_o cry_a sin_n that_o ever_o thou_o commit_v do_v 5._o consider_v that_o every_o one_o of_o thy_o thought_n word_n and_o action_n whether_o good_a or_o evil_n shall_v be_v bring_v to_o judgement_n even_o thy_o most_o secret_a and_o unknown_a sin_n to_o thyself_o or_o other_o consider_v o_o my_o soul_n what_o shame_n and_o confusion_n will_v cover_v thou_o at_o that_o day_n do_v thou_o not_o remember_v that_o at_o such_o and_o such_o a_o time_n what_o thou_o do_v in_o secret_a suppose_v all_o those_o sin_n that_o ever_o thou_o commit_v in_o private_a shall_v be_v know_v to_o all_o in_o england_n or_o shall_v be_v write_v on_o thy_o forehead_n that_o all_o that_o see_v thou_o may_v read_v they_o will_v thou_o not_o be_v ashamed_a to_o come_v into_o any_o company_n but_o what_o be_v this_o to_o that_o which_o shall_v be_v at_o that_o day_n when_o all_o the_o secret_a sin_n shall_v be_v publish_v before_o all_o man_n angel_n and_o god_n himself_o these_o be_v not_o invention_n of_o man_n to_o terrify_v thou_o but_o truth_n of_o god_n to_o reform_v thou_o 6._o consider_v how_o full_o and_o clear_o thou_o shall_v be_v convince_v that_o day_n of_o thy_o sin_n those_o with_o who_o thou_o have_v commit_v they_o will_v witness_v against_o thou_o thy_o dear_a friend_n that_o thou_o have_v in_o the_o world_n must_v and_o will_v testify_v against_o thou_o nay_o satan_n that_o tempt_v thou_o to_o those_o sin_n and_o god_n that_o forbid_v thou_o those_o sin_n nay_o thou_o own_o conscience_n which_o then_o will_v as_o perfect_o remember_v every_o sin_n with_o its_o aggravate_v circumstance_n as_o if_o it_o be_v but_o then_o commit_v will_v be_v a_o swift_a witness_n against_o thou_o this_o will_v be_v that_o worm_n that_o die_v not_o a_o clamorous_a and_o a_o wound_a conscience_n be_v insupportable_a even_o in_o this_o life_n but_o neither_o be_v the_o clamour_n so_o loud_o nor_o the_o wound_n so_o deep_a and_o pestilent_a as_o then_o they_o will_v be_v 7._o consider_v the_o dreedfull_a sentence_n of_o condemnation_n that_o god_n will_v pass_v upon_o the_o wicked_a viz._n go_v you_o curse_v into_o everlasting_a fire_n prepare_v for_o the_o devil_n and_o his_o angel_n wicked_a man_n know_v not_o now_o what_o it_o be_v to_o depart_v from_o god_n but_o then_o they_o shall_v know_v for_o god_n before_o man_n and_o angel_n in_o fury_n pour_v out_o to_o bid_v they_o be_v go_v and_o call_v they_o curse_v wretch_n who_o know_v the_o horror_n of_o it_o if_o the_o wrath_n of_o a_o king_n be_v as_o the_o roar_n of_o a_o lion_n what_o will_v the_o wrath_n of_o god_n be_v consider_v further_o that_o word_n be_v everlasting_a fire_n and_o eternity_n how_o dreadful_a be_v thou_o further_a to_o have_v such_o miserable_a companion_n as_o devil_n if_o the_o devil_n shall_v appear_v to_o thou_o when_o thou_o be_v alone_o how_o can_v thou_o bear_v it_o 8._o consider_v the_o sweet_a sentence_n that_o shall_v pass_v from_o the_o gracious_a mouth_n of_o christ_n to_o his_o people_n viz._n come_v you_o bless_v of_o my_o father_n inherit_v the_o kingdom_n prepare_v for_o you_o from_o the_o foundation_n of_o the_o world_n and_o how_o sweet_a will_v those_o word_n be_v when_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o all_o their_o fear_n and_o trouble_v the_o righteous_a shall_v hear_v that_o sentence_n of_o absolution_n what_o abundance_n of_o comfort_n have_v the_o people_n of_o god_n when_o god_n manife_v and_o give_v they_o his_o love_n even_o in_o this_o life_n and_o seal_v they_o to_o the_o day_n of_o redemption_n and_o let_v they_o see_v their_o name_n write_v in_o the_o book_n of_o life_n give_v they_o full_a assurance_n that_o he_o be_v they_o and_o they_o be_v he_o but_o alas_o all_o those_o joy_n may_v not_o be_v compare_v to_o these_o the_o testimony_n of_o our_o own_o conscience_n and_o the_o witness_v of_o the_o spirit_n the_o manifestation_n of_o his_o love_n and_o the_o smile_n of_o his_o countenance_n be_v not_o so_o clear_a so_o full_a so_o last_v as_o they_o shall_v then_o be_v no_o more_o to_o be_v compare_v to_o they_o then_o the_o light_n of_o the_o sun_n be_v to_o that_o of_o a_o spark_n of_o fire_n for_o christ_n to_o call_v we_o bless_v be_v more_o than_o for_o all_o the_o world_n and_o for_o all_o the_o angel_n in_o heaven_n to_o call_v we_o so_o doubtless_o it_o do_v exceed_o affect_v daniel_n when_o the_o angel_n tell_v he_o that_o he_o be_v great_o belove_v dan._n 9.23_o if_o thou_o have_v a_o thousand_o world_n o_o my_o soul_n will_v thou_o not_o give_v all_o for_o this_o that_o god_n will_v say_v so_o to_o thou_o well_o if_o thou_o will_v be_v watchful_a over_o thy_o way_n live_v holy_o love_n and_o believe_v in_o christ_n and_o repent_v the_o day_n will_v short_o come_v when_o christ_n shall_v say_v that_o and_o much_o more_o affection_n and_o resolution_n 1._o tremble_v o_o my_o soul_n when_o thou_o think_v of_o these_o thing_n why_o be_v not_o thou_o exceed_o affect_v with_o the_o
do_v not_o ache_v if_o we_o have_v the_o stone_n we_o have_v not_o the_o gout_n or_o if_o both_o they_o yet_o not_o some_o other_o torture_a disease_n or_o if_o the_o whole_a body_n be_v torture_v yet_o one_o may_v possess_v his_o soul_n in_o patience_n but_o to_o have_v a_o torture_a body_n and_o a_o wound_a conscience_n who_o can_v bear_v it_o beside_o all_o this_o none_o can_v help_v none_o will_v pity_v those_o that_o be_v in_o hell_n nay_o what_o be_v the_o height_n of_o misery_n that_o way_n god_n himself_o shall_v in_o the_o midst_n of_o all_o their_o roar_n and_o torture_n laugh_v at_o their_o calamity_n when_o it_o come_v as_o desolation_n and_o as_o a_o whirlwind_n upon_o they_o 4._o consider_v serious_o what_o eternity_n mean_v for_o ever_o ever_o ever_o to_o be_v torment_v be_v a_o a_o overwhelm_a consideration_n to_o lie_v under_o the_o torture_n of_o the_o stone_n but_o one_o night_n how_o tedious_a be_v it_o but_o to_o be_v torment_v to_o all_o eternity_n o_o it_o be_v the_o hell_n of_o hell_n affection_n and_o resolution_n be_v astonish_v and_o tremble_v at_o the_o wrath_n of_o the_o lord_n alas_o o_o my_o soul_n why_o do_v thou_o not_o tremble_v as_o felix_n do_v when_o thou_o consider_v these_o thing_n why_o be_v not_o thou_o more_o sensible_a of_o the_o power_n of_o his_o wrath_n do_v not_o the_o foundation_n of_o the_o earth_n tremble_v and_o the_o pillar_n of_o heaven_n shake_v when_o he_o be_v angry_a and_o how_o come_v it_o to_o pass_v that_o thou_o be_v so_o little_o affect_v with_o these_o thing_n have_v thou_o full_a assurance_n of_o the_o favour_n of_o god_n when_o be_v it_o seal_v sure_o the_o very_a possibility_n that_o these_o thing_n shall_v come_v upon_o we_o shall_v very_o much_o affect_v we_o 2._o pray_v o_o bless_a god_n thou_o that_o have_v the_o key_n of_o death_n and_o of_o hell_n take_v pity_n on_o i_o and_o though_o i_o neither_o understand_v nor_o be_o sensible_a in_o any_o considerable_a measure_n either_o of_o the_o misery_n of_o hell_n or_o of_o my_o own_o danger_n in_o fall_v into_o they_o lord_z how_o thou_o know_v both_o let_v the_o bowel_n of_o thy_o compassion_n earn_v towards_o i_o and_o never_o suffer_v i_o to_o fall_v into_o that_o devour_a fire_n and_o into_o those_o everlasting_a burn_n bless_a be_v thy_o name_n that_o i_o be_o on_o this_o side_n of_o hell_n if_o thou_o have_v cast_v i_o into_o that_o place_n of_o torment_n as_o i_o have_v daily_o provoke_v thou_o to_o do_v i_o have_v be_v past_o hope_n past_a prayer_n past_a mercy_n past_a repentance_n i_o beseech_v thou_o o_o lord_n that_o thou_o will_v chasten_v i_o that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v condemn_v with_o the_o world_n 3._o despise_v and_o abhor_v the_o sinful_a vanity_n and_o pleasure_n of_o the_o world_n o_o vain_a world_n there_o be_v nothing_o in_o thou_o but_o sin_n and_o misery_n temptation_n vanity_n and_o vexation_n of_o spirit_n and_o be_v thy_o vain_a profit_n and_o pleasure_n so_o much_o to_o be_v value_v as_o for_o they_o to_o dwell_v in_o devour_a fire_n and_o be_v the_o pleasure_n of_o sin_n that_o be_v but_o for_o a_o season_n so_o much_o worth_n that_o for_o they_o we_o shall_v dwell_v in_o everlasting_a burn_n have_v we_o not_o have_v frequent_a experience_n that_o the_o sorrow_n we_o have_v have_v for_o commit_v of_o sin_n have_v far_o exceed_v the_o pleasure_n that_o we_o have_v have_v in_o commit_v of_o it_o and_o sure_o the_o terror_n of_o a_o awake_v conscience_n be_v not_o to_o be_v compare_v with_o the_o horror_n of_o the_o damn_a and_o other_o insupportable_a and_o endless_a misery_n of_o that_o place_n of_o torment_n come_v o_o my_o soul_n let_v we_o not_o deceive_v and_o flatter_v ourselves_o with_o vain_a and_o false_a hope_n of_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n it_o be_v true_a god_n be_v very_o merciful_a to_o they_o that_o fear_v he_o and_o we_o may_v be_v sure_a of_o this_o that_o if_o we_o do_v sincere_o desire_v and_o endeavour_v to_o serve_v he_o that_o we_o shall_v find_v his_o mercy_n as_o much_o above_o our_o thought_n and_o expectation_n of_o they_o as_o the_o heaven_n be_v above_o the_o earth_n but_o if_o we_o slight_v they_o and_o be_v careless_a of_o his_o service_n and_o turn_v his_o grace_n into_o wantonness_n let_v we_o not_o deceive_v ourselves_o with_o vain_a word_n for_o because_o of_o these_o thing_n come_v the_o wrath_n of_o god_n upon_o the_o child_n of_o disobedience_n and_o those_o that_o live_v so_o shall_v sure_o find_v that_o at_o that_o day_n the_o mercy_n of_o god_n will_v not_o serve_v at_o all_o to_o mitigate_v but_o abundant_o to_o justify_v the_o wrath_n and_o fury_n of_o god_n that_o he_o shall_v pour_v out_o upon_o the_o wicked_a then_o they_o shall_v pay_v for_o every_o mercy_n they_o have_v receive_v and_o the_o riches_n of_o his_o despise_a goodness_n shall_v but_o increase_v the_o treasure_n of_o his_o wrath_n therefore_o o_o my_o soul_n since_o these_o thing_n be_v so_o what_o be_v we_o to_o do_v why_o do_v we_o not_o fear_v he_o that_o can_v cast_v both_o body_n and_o soul_n into_o hell_n the_o prophet_n habacuc_n when_o he_o do_v but_o think_v but_o of_o some_o temporal_a judgement_n that_o god_n have_v threaten_v rottenness_n enter_v into_o his_o bone_n if_o indeed_o the_o love_n of_o god_n do_v constrain_v we_o so_o that_o we_o do_v from_o a_o principle_n of_o love_n make_v conscience_n of_o sin_n so_o that_o we_o never_o offend_v god_n it_o be_v well_o but_o since_o we_o plain_o find_v that_o it_o be_v not_o strong_a enough_o alone_o let_v we_o not_o fear_v to_o call_v in_o and_o improve_v the_o consideration_n of_o the_o torment_n of_o hell_n to_o deter_v we_o from_o sin_n the_o motive_n be_v imperfect_a but_o not_o sinful_a our_o great_a work_n we_o have_v to_o do_v in_o the_o world_n next_o to_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n be_v to_o avoid_v hell_n and_o obtain_v heaven_n and_o to_o resist_v our_o now_o three_o great_a enemy_n the_o world_n the_o flesh_n and_o the_o devil_n who_o endeavour_n day_n and_o night_n to_o drive_v we_o headlong_o into_o perdition_n if_o any_o one_o in_o the_o world_n much_o more_o if_o the_o devil_n shall_v appear_v to_o we_o and_o offer_v we_o such_o a_o sum_n of_o money_n if_o we_o will_v give_v he_o our_o soul_n that_o we_o may_v be_v damn_v we_o think_v we_o shall_v abhor_v he_o and_o his_o offer_n but_o alas_o do_v not_o every_o one_o that_o use_v by_o extortion_n and_o violence_n either_o get_v or_o keep_v what_o be_v not_o he_o do_v the_o same_o thing_n his_o damnation_n it_o as_o certain_a and_o as_o infallible_a though_o more_o secret_o and_o invisible_o contrive_v by_o satan_n as_o if_o satan_n shall_v visible_o appear_v to_o he_o and_o he_o make_v a_o contract_n with_o he_o therefore_o o_o my_o soul_n let_v we_o take_v heed_n of_o the_o wile_n of_o satan_n for_o he_o general_o work_v by_o the_o world_n and_o the_o flesh_n to_o deceive_v we_o therefore_o let_v we_o now_o resolve_v by_o the_o blessing_n of_o god_n to_o look_v upon_o the_o world_n and_o the_o flesh_n to_o be_v as_o dangerous_a and_o implacable_a enemy_n as_o satan_n himself_o let_v we_o not_o endeavour_v to_o please_v the_o world_n by_o vain_a discourse_n by_o omit_v what_o god_n command_v or_o do_v what_o he_o forbid_v let_v we_o not_o be_v trouble_v but_o rather_o rejoice_v when_o we_o be_v revile_v and_o scorn_v for_o righteousness_n sake_n for_o the_o time_n to_o come_v when_o i_o be_o to_o do_v any_o religious_a duty_n i_o will_v not_o so_o much_o as_o consider_v what_o man_n will_v judge_v or_o say_v of_o i_o nor_o endeavour_v to_o make_v the_o world_n my_o friend_n since_o god_n himself_o have_v set_v enmity_n between_o we_o and_o as_o for_o the_o flesh_n i_o be_o sure_a we_o be_v no_o debtor_n unto_o that_o we_o have_v pay_v it_o far_o more_o than_o ever_o we_o owe_v it_o therefore_o for_o the_o time_n to_o come_v i_o will_v rather_o abstain_v from_o lawful_a then_o use_v unlawful_a pleasure_n and_o i_o will_v take_v heed_n not_o only_o of_o those_o pleasure_n that_o be_v unlawful_a in_o kind_n but_o those_o also_o that_o be_v unlawful_a in_o degree_n and_o that_o i_o may_v better_o avoid_v unlawful_a pleasure_n i_o will_v sometime_o abstain_v from_o those_o that_o be_v lawful_a and_o have_v serious_o consider_v i_o be_o convince_v of_o this_o that_o i_o have_v not_o make_v conscience_n enough_o in_o the_o matter_n of_o sleep_n i_o have_v not_o redeem_v the_o time_n from_o that_o nor_o have_v enough_o consider_v the_o sinfulness_n of_o it_o but_o like_o the_o sluggard_n that_o solomon_n speak_v of_o have_v turn_v upon_o my_o bed_n as_o a_o door_n upon_o the_o hinge_n therefore_o henceforth_o i_o shall_v endeavour_v