of God p. 115 Ioy. p. 125 Patience p. 135 witnessing saluation Gods spirit Gods word Psal 34.8 p. 155 Reu. 21.6 p. 159 Math. 5.3 4. p. 163 Rom. 10.13 p. 167 Reu. 3.21 p. 172 2. Tim. 2.21 p. 179 Doubts resolued concerning Election p. 196 VVeaknes in Grace p. 201 Greatnes of sinne p. 211 Hypocrisie p. 221 Perseuerance p. 2â—3 Presuming p. 238 Euill thoughts p. 243 Afflictions p. 252 Feare of death p. 278 The Righteous Mans Euidence for Heauen Minister SEeing opportunity serues vs thus fitly my Christian friend to conferre a while together and seeing there is no conference so comfortable or profitable as that which is about the affaires of Gods Kingdome and our owne saluation and that the counsell of the Holy Ghost is that a 1 Pet. 4.11 if any speake hee should speake as the words of God and b Eph. 4.29 that such communication should proceed out of our mouthes as is good for the vse of edifying giue me leaue therefore to propound a question to you about these matters Conuert Sir I like the motion passing well and indeed there is too little of this good practise in these daies christian communication growes too much out of vse which shewes the want scarsitie of grace for there is the like correspondence between the heart and tongue that is betweene the bell and clapper if the bell be stirred the clapper cannot lye still and if the heart bee moued with delight in spirituall things the tongue cannot chuse but talke thereof and where the tongue yeelds no other but an earthie sound there you may be sure to finde no other but an earthly heart no pure good metall no heauenly grace to bee found in the heart Now therefore let mee heare the question and according to my poore measure of knowledge I will bee ready to shape an answere Minister Ought not euery one while he liues in this world to know as a thing certaine whether hee shall be saued and so be translated out of this earthly tabernacle into the heauenly paradice whensoeuer hee shall be called away by death Conuert Yes vndoubtedly which I prooue thus c Mar. 16.16 Hee that beleeueth saith our Sauiour shall bee saued but he that beleeueth not shall bee damned This must euery one know as an vndoubted truth and withall he is bound to know whether hee beleeueth according to that charge of the Apostle d 2 Corin. 13.5 Examine your selues whether you bee in the Faith know you not that Christ is in you except you bee reprobates Heerevpon it will follow that euery one must know whether hee shall be saued and therefore such as put their soules to a venture cannot be saued for as much as they take not the right course appointed by God thereto namely to prooue whether they be in the faith and Christ in them And further whom the Lord intendeth to bestow heauen vpon hee sets his e 2 Cor. 1.21 seale and marke vpon them whereby he claims them for his owne and he bestowes loue-tokens on them which are the sauing graces of his holy spirit whereof he is very charie setting great store by them so that hee will not bestow them on cast-awaies but onely on his dearely beloued ones which markes and loue-tokens as they are very precious so as many as receiue theÌ„ though they doubt they need not doubt but that they shall bee saued for God is not variable in his loue but he that hath not these signes in him whereby he may know that he shall be saued shall if he die in that comfortles state be sure to haue his portion with deuills g Reu. 21.8 in the burning lake for euer after death Min. If the case stand so I thinke it lies euery one vpon not to dallie with their owne soules as men doe now adaies but to deale soundly and consider sincerely with themselus whether they haue receiued these golden markes and loue-tokens of God or whether they still retaine the blacke brand of the Deuill which they were borne with the which so long as they retaine on them the Prince of darknesse ownes them but if they can get it h 1 Cor. 6.11 washed out by the bloud of Christ and Gods marks set vpon them then hath the Deuill no more right or claime vnto them for the Lord from that time forward euen for euer doth take them for his owne peculiar ones But what say you now of those that mourne after God in the anguish of their soules longing for the assurance of his fauour and labouring to get this knowledge of their saluation but yet cannot finde it in themselues Con. This I say or rather Christ himselfe i Mat. 5.4 Blessed are they that so mourne for they shall bee comforted and though they now sorrow yet their k Ioh. 16.20 sorrow shall bee turned into ioy nay great cause of reioycing haue they that they can thus mourne neyther is it possible for such to bee without some sure signes wherby they may know that they shall be saued for euen this their practice they being thus l Cant. 2.5 sicke of loue longing and labouring after Christ is a sure signe to them though they should haue no other but indeed this cannot goe alone Min. How comes it then to passe that they take no notice hereof in themselues but rather feare that they shall not be saued Con. Because they are eyther new-borne babes in Christ and therefore being as infants though they bee aliue yet haue not as yet vnderstanding to know that they are aliue which notwithstanding others of riper age discerne in them and they also by experience and growth in grace shal afterwards perceiue in themselues or else they are distempered with some strong fit of temptatioÌ„ wherby they are so astonied and benummed that they haue not m Psal 77.7 8. a feeling of that which otherwise they might perceiue in their soules like as one halfe frozen almost stiffe with cold feeles no warmth at all in himselfe and yet there is some in him for else there could be no life or breath remaining in him Or lastly such they are as haue taken a surfet of sinne wherby they haue beene ouercome thus while they are soul-sick their spirituall senses are corrupted so as they cannot now n Psal 88.14 see the lightsome countenance of Gods fauour shining on them so clearely nor o Ps 51.8.12 heare the Lord speakeing vnto them nor taste how good the Lord is to their soules in speciall nor relish religious exercises so sauourlie nor feele heauenly comforts so sensibly as otherwise they might And yet this surfet they shall out-grow in time by vsing themselues to a good diet of Christian practise and by the helpe of the Physicke of Gods word rightly applied which holpe the Prophet Dauid in the like case being distempered Psal 73.17 neither is it maruell though such doe iudge amisse of themselues for the present seeing
and distressed in conscience neuer had true peace 2 My peace of conscience 3 Notes of true peace of conscience makes mee carefull to keepe a good conscience as it made the Apostle t Hebr. 13.18 desiring to liue honestly and to haue u 2 Cor. 1.12 my conuersation in godly purenesse 3. This true peace makes my Conscience not afraid to view it self whereas the euill conscience is like the Elephant which being guilty of his deformity cannot abide to looke on his owne face in the water but seekes muddy chanells and fowle puddles Min. Let mee heare you name some other signe from whence you gather assurance of your saluation Con. Mine Adoption is a sign hereof for wheras I was by nature a base-born of Satan no child so like his father as I was like him the Lord of his free grace fauour hath adopted me his childe to traine mee vp vnto eternall life that I may inherit with his own Son Iesus by meanes whereof I haue right also * 1. Cor. 3.22.23 to the creatures heere in this world as being my fathers goods and the miseries of this life x Rom. 8.28 become mercies to me and the glorious y Heb. 1.14 Angells become attenders on mee O high fauours O rich mercy O instimable dignity to bee the childe of God! Thus I trust I am one of the number of Gods children The fourth signe of saluation taken out of Rom. 8.17 Now none of them can possibly be depriued of an euerlasting inheritance for if we be children then are wee also heyres of God ioyntheyrs with Christ Seeing then I am one of them I know I shall inherit together with them yea with Christ Min. It is a common thing with men yea with lewd and gracelesse persons to say they are the children of God as the wicked Iewes z Ioh. 8.41 44. said to our Sauiour but hee tels them they ar of their father the Deuill how know you then that you are a true childe of God Con. 1. Because I am regenerate that is borne againe a Ioh. 1.13 5 Notes of a true child of God not of bloud as by a second naturall generation nor of the will of the flesh as by any naturall strength or actioÌ„ nor of the will of man as by any mans endeuour or operation but of God born of the spirit b Ioh. 3.5 as water through spirituall c T it 3.5 washing and ablution being begotten by the incorruptible seed of his word they which are thus begotten and borne of God must needs be his children that I am thus borne of the spirit and so become a new creature I haue shewed before in that I am conuerted Secondly looke what naturall affections are in a childe toward his father such spirituall affections are in mee towards God if he frowne I mourne if he threaten I tremble if he smite I stoop if he smile I am right glad if hee speake comfortablie I reioyce hartily I delight in nothing so much as the fauour of God feare nothing so much as the losse of it hauing found it oh how faine would I keepe it hauing lost it I cannot be at quiet till I recouer it I can be content to want all things so I haue it and can finde contentment in nothing if I want it my heauenly fathers fauour is more to mee then all the world Thirdly I know my adoption by the spirit of adoption which is within mee and casts out of me daily more and more the d Rom. 8.15 spirit of bondage a terrifying tormenting conscience and it makes me with some comfortable confidence and a true heart vnfainedly to call vpon God and to cal him my Father without either flattery or dissembling Fourthly e Rom. 8.14 As many as are led by the spirit of God they are the sons of God by his holy spirit am I led and willinglie doe I submit my selfe and vnfainedly desire to bee wholly gouerned thereby I desire not to follow the blinde guide carnall reason nor the deceitfull guide my own corrupt heart but I set the Lord alwaies before mee as a guide to direct mee in all things by that rule whereby hee leades into al truth euen his holie word it is my delight to say with the Prophet Dauid f Ps 25.5 Leade mee in thy truth O Lord and teach mee for thou art the God of my saluation Fiftly whereas all the children of God do resemble him their father for howsoeuer a man may haue a childe nothing like him yet God hath neuer a childe but is in some measure like him hereby I also know that I am his childe because I doe in some sort resemble him my heauenly Father As hee is g 1 Pet. 1.15 holy h Luk. 6.36 mercifull good i Ma. 5.48 perfect so doe I endeuour to conforme vnto him hauing his blessed image imprinted in mee and being renewed vnto that k Ge. 1.26 likenesse wherein the Lord created man in the beginning abhorring to bee of the number of them who though they professe themselues to bee Gods children yet are as Nabal so prophane and wicked that a man cannot speake vnto them and surely blasphemie it were to thinke that there is any likenesse betweene God and them he such a pure spirit and they such impure swine Min. Proceed vnto some other signe of your saluation Con. The Lord will bestow an euerlasting inheritance vpon all them that are sanctified The fift signe of saluation taken out of Act. 20.32 such a one am I the Lord hath sanctified mee by his holy spirit that is hath made mee holy whereas I was before most vile filthy vnclean wholly sinfull Neither yet am I now quite and cleane freed from all sinne or perfectly holy for alas l Ro. 7.23 I see another law in my members rebelling against the law of my minde and bringing me into captiuity of the law of sinne but I am freed from the bondage and dominion of sinne And looke as in the twi-light or day-breake some little glimmering light there is ouer-spreaâ—ing the skie yet mixed with much darknesse euen so there is in mee the admixture of sinne and much corruption accompanying the light of sanctifying grace in euery part of me yet this is my comfort That the day-starre is risen and the morning-light now shineth in mee and as for high-noone perfection of holinesse I wait for it and looke to enioy it in the highest heauen for the m Pr. 4.18 path of the iust is as the shining light that shineth more more vnto the perfect day Min. There are not a few who though they can talke of sanctification aâ—â— notwithstanding very prophane yea leaprous persons hauing the vncleane issues of sin like plague-sores running on them going vp and downe with the leapers crie in their mouth n Leui. 13.45 vncleane vncleane therefore how know you that you are
set grinnes for me purposing to cause my steps to slide and to ouerthrow my soule these do I see whereas men of the world see no such snares laid in their wayes by their spirituall enemies for the entrapping of their soules the murthering thereof for aske them and they cannot tell you of any but are like Samson f Iudg 1◠20.21 their enemies are vpon them and they fast a sleep in carnall security and so the Diuell preuailes against them puts out their eies and leades them captiues at his pleasure hee makes a mocke of them and makes sport with them but at length hee falls from iesting and brings them to destruction in good earnest Thirdly whereas these my enemies doe continually besiege mee seeking to inuade mee I therefore keepe daily watch and ward fortifying in this my little Kingdome the City of my soule and Castle of my heart I haue a speciall care to looke well to the gates and cinqueports my outward senses whereby oftentimes diuers traiterous thoughts and rebellious lusts are ready to steale in which cause very often much mutinie in the soules common-wealth for if I should grant liberty for sinne to breake in the diuell would enter too with his great Armado of his hellish spirits and would take possession placing his deputies in strongest holds as the spirit of blindnesse in the vnderstanding of error in the iudgement of lying and slumber in the conscience of deadnesse and hardnesse in the heart and so in the rest Thus with his Legions would hee ouer-runne mee desolate Fourthly I resolue when I am in the conflict with the allurements of the world the inticements of sinne the temptations of Sathan * Imperato rem oportet mori stantem said Vespatian so Christianū militantē may we say rather to die then to yeeld to any of them I purpose neuer to giue ouer fighting as long as I haue any breath within mee not doubting but I shall at length haue perfect victory onely through the might of the Almighty God who strengtheneth mee Fight thou O God against them that fight against me and stand vp for my helpe through thee I shall doe vallantly for thou shalt tread downe my enemies and bruise Sathan vnder my feet Min. Who else shall bee saued according to the tenure of the records of holy writ Con. Such as are g 2 Tim. 2.21 purged frō the pollutions of prophane ones and are sanctified are vessells vnto honour that is they which are made partakers of true grace and so haue the Image of God renewed in them h Eph. 4.24 which consisteth in Holinesse and true Righteousnesse shall bee heyres of glory these are they which are called Saints Yea the Lord himselfe that high and mighty Potentate is their Godfather for he hath giuen them this name what mortall man then dares bee so bold as to nick-name them with tearmes of reproach or to finde fault with this name of Saints which their heauenly God-father hath giuen vnto them Min. Me thinks none should dare once to miscall these or to deny them their names saying we cannot bee Saints heere but let them goe What is true sanctifying grace Con. A new created quallitie of holinesse throughout the i 1 Thes 5.23 whole man in spirit soule and bodie that is in minde will and all our bodily members yea in all the powers of the soule and parts of the bodie wrought in vs by Gods spirit for the honouring of him Min. Haue you this new qualitie of holinesse in you Con. I dare not denie but God of his mercy hath begun this worke of grace in some weak measure in mee for how could I possibly bee thankfull to the Lord for such an inestimable gift if I should not take notice of it and acknowledge it especially considering that the very least measure of sauing grace that can be is farre more worth than I can expresse or praise God for enough so long as I liue deny it therefore I dare not though it bee very small least I should bee vnthankfull to the Lord for so great a mercie as the lest seede of grace is but this I dare doe to pray to him for more yea and I beseech him to make me rich in all grace k Ph. 1.12 filled with the fruits of righteousnes vnto his glory and praise for he alone is l Act. 20.32 able to build mee vp further and to giue mee an inheritance among all them which are sanctified Min. It appeares by all these signes which you haue produced that your assurance is not that common counterfeit ware which goes for currant among a number of men a vaine fleeting conceit in the braine but that you are truly assured of your saluation I must confesse I can no way mislike these your euidences hauing thus examined them nor I thinke a whole councell of Diuines if they should sit to determine thereon I cannot see how any can pick a hole or finde a flaw herein I iudge that you haue as good a title to Heauen by these your Scripture euidences as the best landed man in the world hath or can haue to his best freehold by his parchment euidences But I pray you now tell mee further are you not somtimes troubled with feare and doubting of your saluation for all this Con. Oh alas good sir I must needs confesse that I am and that not a little to my griefe I am none of those confident fooles which neuer doubted in all their liues whereby they giue euidence against themselues that they neuer yet beleeued Min. But how then To striue against doubting diuers reasons do you not striue against doubting as being a very euill and permicious thing Con. Yes that I doe for to yeelde vnto that were to entertaine Sathan for my counceller who is my greatest aduersay and to take him for my chirurgian to heale my wounded hart who is my deadliest enemy no Sathan shall not be my chirurgian for in stead of healing the wounds of my heart hee will make himselfe more worke hee will make more sores then hee heales and those which hee seemes to heale hee doth but skin ouer with the stinking salue of falshood and the wounds which are hee will make deeper and more incurable let all good people take heede of this murdering chirurgian I haue experience enough of him therefore though hee doe impudently obtrude his salue vnto mee yet I cast it away from me that is I striue against doubting with all my might and power as one would worke against the pangs of death to retain life and breath and I am bound in conscience so to doe because I know for as much as I haue the true signes of saluation in mee doubting proceeds from the malice of Sathan who meanes me no good and from vnbeleefe of heart in me and is much preiudiciall to my soules comfort it is also greatly dishonourable to God for as a man hurts himselfe most by
carnall ioy is which causeth men to reioyce onely or chiefly in their corne and their wine their wealth and their honours their pleasures and their profits this nature affords vnto them But I finde in me a supernaturall ioy in things diuine and spirituall which corrupt nature can take no liking of much lesse delight therein therefore it hath been wrought in me by a power diuine that is the fruit of Gods holy spirit 5. Whereas the ioy of the wicked is slight and short a flash and away no better then the chirping of birds in a sunne-shine day mine is firme and durable not like summer-fruit which holds good but for a time for the summer-season of prosperity but my ioy is lasting fruit which still holds good yea euen in the hardest winter of greatest aduersity Ro. 5.3 I can ioy in tribulations 6. It is a victorious ioy for when as griefe like lead lies heauy on my heart pressing it downe then doth this ioy lift vp my heart in faith together with my hands eyes and voyce vpward to the heauens aboue the mountaines from whence my helpe commeth wherby appeares it ouercommeth griefe and getteth victorie ouer tentation thus I haue that which is the very life of life true ioy for life without this is hardly worthy the name of life Min. This pawne of heauen which the Lord hath put into your heart I may not nor cannot except against therefore proceed vnto another signe of your salution Con. Patience vnder the crosse may not bee left out nor forgotten no more then it may bee cast off or forgone well it deserues a roome among this good company of witnesses all which giue in euidence that heauen is mine The thirteenth sine of saluation taken out of Iam. 1.12 That this is a sure signe of saluation S. Iames proues it when he saith Blessed is the man that endureth temptation for when he is tryed hee shall receiue the crowne of life and that it is in me my conscience proues it therefore I am blessed but more blessed shall I bee when I receiue the crowne Minist Well may the crowne indeed be set vpon the head of patience so noble and so conquering a grace for christian * Nobile vinceÌ„di genus est patientia vincit qui patitur suffring is a noble kinde of conquering and hee that so suffereth no lesse than conquereth And if you haue also found this gemme in you happy are you prouided alwaies that it be true patience how prooue you that Con. 1. 5. Notes of true patience Because I doe not onely finde out but also finde fault with any inclination or disposition toward impatiency I check and controul my selfe for it when it begins to stirre I begin to stifle it before it gather strength or get to head 2. I doe not goe about to prescribe to GOD the measure of afflicting me nor yet the manner meanes or time of helping easing and deliuering mee I can bee content with the grace of God in the forgiuenesse of my sinne and sanctification of his Spirit tho I want other things and can receiue the loue of God with good contentment though it come alone or attended with the crosse 3. I more feare to doe the euill of sinne than to suffer the euill of punishment for sinne * Malum parti maluÌ„ non est maluÌ„ facere malum est for to suffer affliction is not euill but to commit sinne is euill and I can be content still to beare the punishment so that the sinne may bee taken away oh I would not for any thing that the rod of God should be remoued before the Cure bee throughly wrought 4. My patience goes accompanied with a profiting vnder the correcting hand of God for first it brings forth e Rom. 5.4 experience both of the care and loue and gracious dealing of God towards me as also of my owne estate and cariage toward him and thus I come to haue better acquaintance with God with my selfe it also increaseth my loue toward him makes me cleaue and cling faster to him as a childe doth to his parent when hee turneth away from it and maketh as though he would goe away and leaue it to the wolfe it strengtheneth my faith and causeth me to relie more stedfastly on God in distresses for time to come and a dram of tried faith is better then a pound of vntried Lastly it worketh in me reformation I am not like wicked AhaZ f 2 Chr. 28 22. who in the time of his distresse did yet trespasse more and more against the Lord. For I can truely say with the holy Prophet g Ps 119.67 Before I was afflicted I went astray but now haue I kept thy word ô God Thus by patience I reforme my self and thus in patience I possesse my soule therefore it is true patience Min. By what other certain signe are you perswaded of your euerlasting saluation Con. They which haue receiued the Earnest of the Spirit in their hearts The fourth signe of saluation taken out of 2. Cor. 1.22 Eph. 4.30 Ro. 8.16.17 are thereby sealed vnto the day of redemption this haue I receiued to wit the infallible testimony of GOD's holy spirit which beareth witnesse with my spirit that I am the child of God and so an heyre of glory seeing God who cannot lye tels me by his spirit I shall be saued I hold it as I am bound for a necessary and a most vndoubted truth Min. Thousands of vngodly ones haue a perswasion that they shall be saued and none seeme more confident than they and yet it is but presumption and the illusion of the deuill in them for they haue no more true right to saluation than dogges to the childrens bread yea and though they sweare to it too as that they are ready enough to doe yet you neede not credit them vnlesse you will and if you doe it is but a lye as if a woman that had a child should swear she were a maid or one that had a plague-sore on him should sweare that hee were cleere would you beleeue either of them for all their facing of the matter sure you would not how know you then that yours is the testimony of Gods Spirit and not presumption which is nothing else but the lying spirit of Sathan in the mouthâ—s and hearts of all his children Conuer 5. Notes of the true testimony Gods of spirit First I proue it by the birth of it for it hath been wrought and planted in me contrary to nature by the word of God heard read meditated vpon and the like good meanes whereas presumption like a stinking weed growes of it owne accord out of the ranke soyle of Nature 2. As Iacob may bee knowne by Iacobs voyce from Esau so may this be knowne by its voice for it doth not barely tell mee I shall be saued but proues it to me and perswades mee by all these former signes which
I haue alledged and diuers others whereas presumption doth only suggest that conceit vnto men but proues it not so that when they are asked why they thinke they shall bee saued they are not able to alleage any sound sufficient reason for the same 3. The witnes within me speaks the same that the word of God doth without me both being the voice of the self-same spirit of God which cannot contradict it selfe but presumptuous presumption speakes contrary to Gods word for whereas the Scripture saith h Mat. 18.13 Vnlesse a man bee conuerted hee cannot enter into the kingdome of God and i 1 Cor. 6.9 the vnrighteous shall not inherit the kingdome of God and k Heb. 12.14 without holinesse no man shall see the Lord and that the Lord will take l 1 Thes 1. vengeance on them that know him not and obey not the Gospell of our Lord Iesus Christ yet presumption beares men in hanâ— they shall be saued howsoeuer and is ready to buzze into their eares â—alas good Sir pitie your selfe these things shall not bee vnto you 4. Gods spirit doth as well m Rom. 8.27 make intercession for mee as witnes to me and therefore brings mee to God making me pray earnestly and feruently to him from a sense and feeling of my manifold sinnes with groanings which cannot be vttered but presumption driues men further from God neither worketh any such feruent prayer in them 5. Gods spirit brings forth the fruits of the Spirit in mee as loue ioy peace long-suffering gentlenes goodnes c. Gal. 5.22 whereas presumption as it is of the flesh so it yeelds the fruits of the flesh as adultery fornication vncleannesse wantonnesse hatred variance wrath strife enuyings murders drunkennesse reuellings and such like Gal. 5.19 and these are the common fruits of these daies which grow more commonly in townes and houses then crabs doe in woods and hedgrowes They which bring forth such fruits as these giue heede to the witch that speakes within them the spirit of Sathan who tells them they shall bee saued as as soone as the best and they beleeue him but I will heare what God the Lord will speake for hee will speake peace vnto his people and to his Saints Yea O Lord let mee heare this thy voyce within mee speake lowder that I may heare thee better O say vnto my soule I am thy saluation Min. There may appeare as manifest a difference betweene the witnesse of Gods holy spirit and the lying suggestion of the Diuell to such as are not wilfully blinde as is betweene light and darknesse truth and falshood But lest I be burdensome to you name one signe more of your saluation and that shall suffice Con. It is no whit irkesome to the men of this world to looke on their gold and siluer their deedes and leases nay they take a meruailous pleasure and delight therein why then should it be burdensome to the children of God to view and looke ouer the markes of their saluation seeing these are much more precious then gold that perisheth But for as much as you require but one signe more I will endeauor to comprehend all vnder one In summe then I perceiue that I am one of those whom God hath faithfully promised in his word to saue The fifteenth signe of saluation for though a number of men yea the greatest number thinke to get heauen though they haue neither scrip nor scrole to shew for it yet I haue both Gods word and his writing to shew or rather his word in writing that heauen belongs to me Now the Scripture is a true copie and draught of the booke of life taken out of the court of heauen by Gods owne hand so that there can be no error in it Hereby I know that my name is written in the booke of life because I finde my selfe enroled in Gods holy scripture among those to whom he hath promised eternall life Min. Indeede If you be of that number there is no doubt but you shall be saued For n 2. Tim. 2.13 he abideth faithfull hee cannot deny himselfe but are you sure that you are such a one Con. Though all that I haue hitherto said and the signes which I haue produced drawne out of Scripture and grounded thereon doe verifie the same yet if you will giue mee leaue I will further proue it by other expresse texts of Scripture though the same for the most part in substance with that I haue already said that as you haue seene my speciall euidences truely taken out of the graund copie so now you may also see the grand copy it selfe in the volume of which book I finde it written of me and that in sundry places that I shall bee saued Min. This would I gladly see proceed then to shew it Con. God in his word hath promised that o Ps 34.8 hee will bee nigh vnto them that are of a broken heart and that hee will saue such as hee of a contrite spirit he himselfe hath vndertaken the cure of such p Psal 147 Hee healeth those that are broken in heart and bindeth vp their wounds as it is in the Psalme and a wonderfull cure indeede he will work vpon them euen then when all helps do vtterly giue them ouer hee like the good Samaritane will binde vp their wounds and poure in the oile of comfort and wine of gladnesse hee will take them in his armes and bring them q Can. 1.4 into his Chambers hee will take the care of them and worke the cure on them for none can doe it but hee none can cure throughly the heart-wound and such as are sicke thereof but onely God Such a one am I I am bruised and broken in heart and spirit and distressed in conscience for my sinfulnesse and wretchednesse hauing by my sinnes O my sins so many great and grieuous deserued no lesse then the heauy wrath of God O wretched man that I am who shall deliuer mee from sin that vnwelcome guest nay that deadly enemy I thanke my God through Christ for by him I haue deliuerance Oh still vouchsafe deere God to visite mee thy poore patient and though I be not worthy with the Centurion that thou shouldst come vnder my Roofe yet farre bee it from mee to say as Peter r Luk. 5.8 Lord depart from mee for I am a sinful man nay rather therefore come to me for I haue the more neede of thee the whole neede not the Physition but the sicke as I am thou lookest for such a Patient sweet Iesus and I lacke such a Physition as thou art Oh bee pleased to come home vnto mee poure forth some more of thy precious oyle into my wounded heart Oh spread a plaister of thine owne heart blood and apply it to my soule r Can. 2.5 Stay me with thy flagons and comfort mee with thy apples for I am sick of loue My heart is wounded within mee but seeing thou hast
gaines and pleasures hee fetcheth vs in againe then hee begins to hamper and shackle vs with sundry crosses to keepe vs better within compas to make vs minde home better and to make vs better husbands for our soules that so wee may thinke of him in time of aduersity who had almost forgotten him in time of prosperity sometimes hee sees that wee trust to the arme of flesh and leane too much to some outward meanes then by a crosse he takes it away that so wee might wholly and onely relie on him Manifold corruptions and much filth of sinne doe wee gather by walking in this dirty world the Lord doth vse the waters of affliction as a bath to cleanse purge vs from those corruptions in bringing vs thereby to a sight thereof and humiliation for the same in these the like respects well may affliction bee tearmed Gods purging physicke Sometimes he also vseth it for strengthning physick when as he doth afflict his seruants for their triall for the strengthning of their faith patience loue zeale holy desires c. for these and the like graces the more they are exercised the more they are confimed and the stronger they grow and euen inward afflictions of the minde serue greatly to these good ends O blessed rod of God that dost so much good Did I thinke the Lord loued mee not because his rod lay on mee oh how could I bee without it Surely it is as needfull for mee as my meat and drinke and much more needfull too * Hic vre his seca vt in aeternum pareas domine Aug. O scourge mee and launce me here O Lord that thou maiest spare mee for euermore hereafter Sixtly as touching outward calamities I haue learned at length a little wisedome by Gods word for the right demeaning of my selfe therein not to looke downeward on the rushing and roaring streames of miseries and troubles which run so swiftly vnder mee for then I should bee taken with a giddinesse in the head which would make mee thinke and speake an aduisedly of Gods dealing and my owne estate and so I should bee in hazard of being drowned and ouerwhelmed therein but this I doe I fasten my eies vpon the sure stay by which I am vpheld that is God all-sufficient and stedfastly behold his promise in the middest of all miseries thus I praise God I passe ouer many a dangerous deep h Ps 42.6 when one deepe calleth another or the noise of the water-spouts when one trouble comes on the necke of another I passe ouer or wade through safe sound Seuenthlie as I desire to prepare for affliction before it commeth so do I resolue in like manner aforehand to hold fast my assurance of the loue of God and so to beare it as comfortably as may bee when it shall come obseruing that it is the work of Sathan to make mee vtterly discomfortable in tribulation that heauen our country and holinesse the way thereto might both be brought out of credit by my meanes that others beholding my vncomfortablenes might bee discouraged from entring or proceeding in the happy way to life By the grace of God Sathan shall not make mee his scar-crow in the way to heauen to keep others out nay rather by my sweet and lightsome deportment of my selfe therein I will allure others what I may rather to choose the way of the crosse the way to the kingdome than for fear of the crosse to lose and forgoe the kingdome Min. It is a good resolution and surelie it is not for any ill-will that the Lord corrects his children whether with inward afflictions of minde or outward of bodie friends children goods good name or howsoeuer else his loue is neuer the lesse vnto them and he is neuer the further from them and though they greatly feare sometimes yet they haue no more cause to feare than the Disciples had when Christ came walking to them vpon the sea thinking that they had seen a spirit to whom our Sauiour answered i Math. 14 26.27 Bee of good cheere it is I bee not affraid euen so when the raging windes and blustering stormes of afflictions doe cause an earthquake in our hearts the Lord sends forth a calme quiet voyce to the comfort of his children It is I bee not affraid which all they may easilie heare that will but lay their eare to the word of God and listen thereunto for so hee speakes vnto them therein Now if there be any other matter that troubles your minde alledge it if you will for conclusion of all lest I bee also one of them that trouble you Con. Doubting proceeding from feare of death answered Why then if you thinke good wee will end with that that shall end our liues namely death I greatly feare sometimes that I am not as I should bee because I finde in my selfe such strugling w i th the thoghts of death and that I am so affraid yea and vnwilling to die Min. How do you to repell and ouercome this assault Con. First I consider that they which are truly in Christ by faith and liuing members of him may haue and haue all of them some feare of death for all that though it can do them no harm like as man that seeth the sting of a serpent plucked out before his eyes therefore knowes it can not hurt him yet hath some fearefulnesse in him to handle it and put it into his bosome because of that naturall enmitie and antipathie that is between him and it the sting of death is sinne which Christ hath pluckt out in being made sinne for vs and satisfying fully for it so that well may we say O death where is thy sting and yet we are affraid of the very lookes of death but more affraid to come nigh it because wee naturally hate death this therefore is no good reason to make mee thinke my selfe none of Christs because I haue some feare of death no more than it is to proue a man no man or reasonable creature because hee is loth to put a snake in his bosome when the sting is pluckt out Secondlie I take vp such meditations as may make mee better and more familliarly acquainted with death and may make mee better conceited of it and to take better liking to it as first that it is the common lot of k Heb. 9.27 all the sonnes of Adam none exempted no not the Worthies of the world and holie Patriarcks and should I then desire to bee exempted Death hath his warrant to take hold of euery sinner therefore none can bee spared for all haue sinned but before hee comes himselfe hee sends forth many summons to warne men to appeare at Court before God euery ache paine sicknes faintnesse wearinesse yea euery wrinkle or gray haire or dead coarse is deaths summons to warne vs appearance but because we are too regardlesse make too light hereof at length hee comes personally with a special Writ from the