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worthy_a of_o his_o imitation_n edmund_n trench_n march_n 10._o 1684._o my_o father_n motto_n and_o my_o own_o 2_o cor._n 1.12_o in_o simplicity_n and_o godly_a sincerity_n phil._n 1.21_o to_o i_o to_o live_v be_v christ_n and_o to_o die_n be_v gain_n phil._n 3.8_o i_o count_v all_o thing_n but_o dung_n that_o i_o may_v win_v christ_n rarius_fw-la de_fw-la dogmatibus_fw-la christus_fw-la disseruit_fw-la saepiùs_fw-la immo_fw-la vero_fw-la ubique_fw-la &_o semper_fw-la de_fw-la vivendi_fw-la sinceritate_fw-la vivere_fw-la bis_fw-la vitâ_fw-la posse_fw-la priore_fw-la frui_fw-la ampliat_fw-la aetatis_fw-la spatium_fw-la sibi_fw-la vir_fw-la bone_fw-la the_o title_n of_o angel_n sometime_o give_v to_o minister_n shall_v mind_v they_o of_o imitate_v those_o glorious_a spirit_n as_o far_o as_o may_v consist_v with_o the_o frailty_n of_o flesh_n and_o blood_n divide_v their_o time_n betwixt_o behold_v the_o face_n of_o their_o father_n in_o heaven_n and_o minister_a to_o the_o heir_n of_o 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traise_n to_o we_o thankfuliness_n in_o a_o fruitful_a iâ—se_n after_o almost_o two_o year_n abide_v at_o oxfor_a i_o leave_v that_o university_n also_o be_v send_v about_o 7_o month_n after_o to_o leyden_n by_o my_o good_a father_n who_o be_v willing_a i_o shall_v study_v physic_n before_o i_o go_v i_o understand_v his_o unfaithfulness_n who_o i_o have_v trust_v to_o right_v those_o i_o have_v wrong_v and_o leave_v with_o a_o better_a man_n more_o than_o i_o can_v think_v due_a to_o any_o except_o those_o myself_o right_v in_o holland_n i_o enjoy_v good_a company_n good_a ministry_n and_o my_o more_o intimate_a converse_n with_o p._n c._n be_v useful_a we_o only_o be_v together_o in_o a_o dutch_a papist_n house_n where_o he_o labour_v exceed_o under_o great_a terror_n and_o sorrow_n for_o sin_n have_v many_o bitter_a pang_n and_o long_a agony_n with_o plenty_n of_o tear_n and_o cry_n which_o the_o papist_n taking_n notice_n of_o charge_v our_o religion_n as_o uncomfortable_a i_o 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if_o she_o prove_v not_o very_o good_a he_o bring_v she_o to_o lincoln's-inn_n field_n engage_v she_o in_o vain_a company_n carry_v she_o to_o play_n entertainment_n etc._n etc._n i_o lovingly_z though_o plain_o represent_v his_o fault_n and_o duty_n and_o pray_v for_o he_o not_o without_o appearance_n of_o success_n he_o remove_v into_o the_o country_n and_o live_v more_o restrain_o but_o he_o grow_v strange_a to_o i_o and_o i_o have_v some_o reason_n to_o fear_v the_o worst_a thou_o o_o lord_n hear_v and_o help_v and_o recover_v out_o of_o the_o snare_n of_o the_o devil_n keep_v i_o though_o believe_v the_o best_a from_o confidence_n in_o man_n and_o from_o make_v of_o match_n see_v one_o of_o who_o piety_n i_o have_v such_o assurance_n have_v so_o gross_o fail_v and_o let_v all_o make_v i_o more_o humble_a and_o watchful_a i_o see_v at_o leyden_n and_o other_o place_n notwithstanding_o their_o reform_a discipline_n reason_n enough_o to_o love_v my_o own_o country_n still_o better_o and_o therefore_o my_o inclination_n to_o divinity_n still_o continue_v though_o i_o have_v make_v some_o progress_n in_o physic_n after_o about_o a_o year_n absence_n i_o return_v 1664_o continue_v with_o my_o parent_n at_o london_n till_o the_o plagve_n and_o fire_n for_o awhile_o remove_v we_o midsummer_n 1688_o we_o come_v to_o crouched-fryar_n and_o with_o my_o brother_n be_v happy_a in_o comfort_v and_o divert_v my_o father_n till_o we_o be_v witness_n of_o his_o bless_a departure_n he_o leave_v beside_o myself_o dear_a brother_n thomas_n bear_v apr._n 14_o 1648._o we_o always_o love_v and_o can_v hardly_o remember_v any_o quarrel_n between_o we_o the_o young_a sister_n sarah_n also_o survive_v bear_v may_n 23._o may_n we_o see_v her_o newborn_a may_v i_o do_v my_o duty_n to_o promote_v it_o soon_o after_o my_o father_n death_n i_o be_v seize_v by_o a_o feavourish_a distemper_n accompany_v with_o hypochondriac_a wind_n etc._n etc._n which_o continue_v and_o enforce_v serious_a consideration_n i_o find_v in_o myself_o a_o great_a change_n prayer_n and_o reading_n have_v above_o 7_o year_n be_v my_o constant_a practice_n i_o be_v temperate_a in_o meat_n drink_n apparel_n etc._n etc._n i_o hope_v true_o humble_a scrupulous_o careful_a to_o do_v no_o wrong_n lose_v rather_o i_o give_v the_o poor_a constant_o the_o 10_o and_o of_o late_a the_o seven_o part_n of_o my_o income_n oath_n and_o curse_n which_o once_o and_o again_o i_o have_v be_v guilty_a of_o i_o long_o since_o abhor_v and_o can_v not_o hear_v without_o trouble_n yet_o i_o be_v deject_v that_o though_o i_o have_v please_v and_o rejoice_v my_o parent_n i_o have_v not_o be_v in_o all_o thing_n so_o comply_v as_o i_o shall_v and_o yet_o more_o because_o i_o have_v not_o so_o diligent_o improve_v my_o time_n for_o god_n as_o i_o may_v i_o hope_v i_o hearty_o repent_v deny_v myself_o and_o bear_v inconvenience_n for_o my_o good_a mother_n and_o resolve_v on_o great_a diligence_n in_o do_v &_o get_v good_a i_o be_v likewise_o anxious_a whether_o restitution_n be_v certain_o make_v for_o the_o wrong_n i_o have_v do_v in_o cambridge_n 10_o year_n before_o and_o determine_v to_o inquire_v and_o do_v what_o be_v further_o requisite_a i_o be_v sensible_a of_o the_o kindness_n of_o this_o affliction_n in_o the_o aforesaid_a search_n and_o resolve_n and_o in_o a_o far_a change_n of_o my_o temper_n grow_v more_o meek_a humble_a and_o charitable_a i_o feel_v more_o my_o own_o vicious_a impotence_n and_o the_o necessity_n of_o divine_a grace_n as_o be_v have_v and_o do_v nothing_o good_a but_o as_o the_o spirit_n make_v i_o every_o moment_n before_o i_o recover_v from_o this_o sickness_n i_o be_v forsake_v by_o my_o thought_n of_o conform_v to_o the_o establish_a church_n by_o submit_v to_o the_o term_n impose_v on_o minister_n to_o which_o i_o have_v be_v sufficient_o incline_v by_o the_o reason_n and_o example_n of_o several_a pious_a and_o judicious_a person_n the_o formidable_a horror_n of_o my_o conscience_n the_o dread_a of_o their_o return_n by_o reason_n of_o some_o doubt_n i_o can_v not_o well_o remove_v determine_v i_o rather_o to_o a_o private_a life_n which_o i_o desire_v to_o render_v as_o useful_a as_o i_o may_v i_o remember_v when_o i_o be_v one_o day_n discourse_v he_o about_o ministerial_a conformity_n he_o tell_v i_o it_o be_v the_o declaration_n of_o assent_n and_o consent_v to_o all_o thing_n contain_v in_o and_o prescribe_v by_o the_o book_n of_o common-prayer_n and_o the_o form_n and_o manner_n of_o ordain_v and_o consecrate_v bishop_n priest_n and_o deacon_n that_o he_o chief_o stick_v at_o and_o can_v not_o think_v that_o declaration_n can_v be_v sincere_o make_v by_o such_o who_o judgement_n disapprove_v so_o many_o thing_n in_o those_o two_o book_n as_o he_o do_v and_o he_o be_v the_o more_o confirm_v in_o his_o aversion_n to_o so_o ensnare_a a_o declaration_n by_o observe_v several_a other_o of_o his_o acquaintance_n that_o have_v make_v it_o though_o under_o the_o same_o dissatisfaction_n with_o himself_o concern_v several_a thing_n contain_v in_o these_o book_n by_o give_v it_o a_o loose_a construction_n than_o he_o think_v the_o word_n capable_a of_o to_o become_v less_o strict_a and_o conscientious_a in_o other_o duty_n of_o religion_n than_o they_o have_v be_v before_o which_o visible_a declension_n from_o their_o former_a seriousness_n and_o circumspection_n he_o be_v afraid_a may_v flow_v from_o their_o have_v too_o far_o suffer_v their_o judgement_n to_o be_v sway_v and_o bias_v by_o their_o interest_n in_o a_o matter_n of_o so_o great_a importance_n hackney_n sept._n 10._o 1670._o i_o return_v from_o deal_n after_o 3_o day_n stay_v with_o my_o dear_a brother_n go_v to_o aleppo_n i_o part_v sad_o with_o one_o so_o dear_a in_o the_o strict_a band_n of_o love_n and_o nature_n yet_o we_o encourage_v ourselves_o in_o our_o good_a god_n who_o favour_n we_o have_v so_o experience_v together_o and_o hope_v we_o shall_v still_o enjoy_v when_o so_o far_o asunder_o i_o desire_v all_o may_v make_v i_o more_o long_a and_o labour_v after_o and_o prepare_v for_o heaven_n where_o friend_n part_v not_o bitter_o any_o more_o and_o where_o god_n be_v all_o in_o all_o for_o ever_o hackney_n octob._n 11._o 1670._o i_o grow_v ill_o of_o a_o quartan_a ague_n as_o it_o quick_o prove_v my_o prayer_n be_v for_o christian_a patience_n and_o wisdom_n to_o bear_v the_o worst_a and_o make_v a_o good_a improvement_n of_o all_o that_o god_n may_v be_v glorify_v myself_o and_o other_o better_v and_o christ_n more_o comfortable_o in_o life_n and_o death_n advantage_n june_n 20._o 1671._o try_v enfield-air_n for_o remove_v my_o ague_n i_o ride_v into_o the_o chase_n and_o be_v among_o the_o tree_n thoughtful_a and_o careless_a my_o horse_n by_o a_o great_a and_o sudden_a start_n turn_v
they_o approve_v more_o private_a help_n i_o still_o deal_v open_o as_o i_o have_v do_v before_o marriage_n declare_v my_o desire_n of_o more_o public_a service_n readiness_n to_o read_v common_a prayer_n almost_o all_o go_v sometime_o to_o the_o neighbour_a church_n and_o join_v in_o the_o liturgy_n and_o let_v they_o know_v my_o practice_n of_o communicate_v and_o that_o kneel_v i_o draw_v none_o to_o our_o private_a meeting_n but_o blame_v such_o as_o come_v from_o good_a minister_n profess_v i_o will_v not_o keep_v up_o a_o separate_a congregation_n but_o only_o while_o it_o appear_v expedient_a help_n for_o such_o as_o be_v so_o ill_o provide_v i_o proceed_v with_o more_o confidence_n and_o comfort_n because_o i_o have_v no_o trouble_n nor_o hear_v of_o any_o dislike_n from_o the_o more_o conformable_a neighbour_n and_o be_v more_o confirm_v in_o the_o moderate_a course_n i_o have_v take_v by_o the_o impotent_a censure_n of_o some_o uncharitable_a person_n my_o prayer_n be_v to_o know_v my_o duty_n and_o do_v it_o please_v god_n though_o i_o displease_v man._n glastenb_n sept._n 20._o 1676._o he_o here_o give_v some_o account_n of_o some_o scrupte_n about_o his_o wife_n portion_n occasion_v by_o a_o report_n of_o her_o great_a grandfather_n die_v in_o debt_n and_o the_o clear_a satisfactiâ—â—â—e_n attain_v upon_o a_o exact_a enquiry_n into_o that_o affair_n i_o be_v also_o thankful_a for_o god_n assistance_n in_o do_v good_a for_o health_n and_o eyesight_n love_n and_o kindness_n in_o my_o relation_n success_n of_o my_o affair_n mirigate_a shorten_v and_o sanctify_a trouble_n etc._n etc._n my_o prayerer_n be_v for_o increase_v of_o grace_n and_o comfort_n for_o more_o of_o the_o true_a christian_a spirit_n of_o love_n to_o all_o even_o to_o the_o unjust_a and_o unkind_a that_o love_n may_v be_v the_o command_a frame_n and_o temper_n of_o my_o soul_n glastenb_n july_n 5._o 1677._o troublesome_n censorious_a divide_v spirit_n have_v occasion_v more_o thought_n of_o those_o unhappy_a controversy_n about_o form_n ceremony_n church-government_n etc._n etc._n and_o i_o be_v still_o more_o satisfy_v even_o when_o most_o serious_a that_o the_o bitter_a extreme_n of_o dissenter_n as_o well_o as_o of_o rigid_a conformisis_n be_v very_o displease_v to_o god_n that_o spiritual_a pride_n narrow-spirited_n mistake_v and_o grievous_a wrest_n of_o the_o holy_a scripture_n be_v the_o evil_a root_n of_o unchristian_a division_n and_o real_a schisin_n i_o be_v much_o trouble_v at_o such_o uncharitable_a and_o love-killing_a principle_n and_o practice_n yet_o have_v cause_n to_o be_v thankful_a that_o there_o be_v more_o light_a and_o love_n among_o those_o that_o come_v to_o the_o meeting_n at_o glastenbury_n which_o i_o still_o endeavour_v to_o increase_v i_o thankful_o hope_v i_o have_v not_o be_v whole_o unfruitful_a and_o own_a god_n very_o gracious_a deal_n in_o all_o my_o affliction_n in_o many_o respect_n particular_o for_o regard_v my_o weakness_n remove_v one_o trouble_n before_o another_o come_v and_o support_v under_o all_o again_o praise_n for_o comfortable_a converse_n success_n in_o my_o affair_n some_o progress_n in_o get_v and_o do_v good_a and_o a_o life_n of_o love_n in_o some_o measure_n according_a to_o god_n ordinance_n with_o my_o dear_a for_o two_o year_n past_a glastenb_n sept._n 22._o 1679._o i_o be_v awaken_v the_o beginning_n of_o the_o year_n by_o apprehension_n of_o great_a affliction_n which_o i_o attempt_v to_o prepare_v for_o i_o find_v i_o think_v matter_n for_o praise_n in_o what_o i_o have_v be_v and_o do_v to_o be_v sure_a in_o many_o favour_n for_o body_n and_o soul_n which_o i_o be_v concern_v more_o thankful_o to_o improve_v i_o be_v several_a time_n still_o more_o affect_v with_o the_o increase_a woeful_a effect_n of_o church-diusions_a i_o think_v and_o think_v still_o i_o may_v appear_v to_o god_n his_o word_n be_v my_o rule_n for_o peace_n which_o by_o study_n and_o prayer_n i_o endeavour_v to_o understand_v but_o i_o can_v not_o judge_v concurrence_n with_o narrow-souled_a unreasonable_a enemy_n of_o peace_n any_o other_o than_o conspiracy_n against_o it_o i_o therefore_o open_o and_o honest_o disow_v and_o oppose_v the_o uncharitable_a sinful_a course_n some_o take_v my_o desire_n prayer_n and_o endeavour_n be_v that_o professor_n may_v have_v more_o sound_a knowledge_n and_o humility_n and_o walk_v in_o the_o good_a way_n of_o catholick-truth_n love_n and_o peace_n my_o praise_n flow_v from_o freedom_n froâ—_n unpleasant_a extreme_n from_o untoward_a wrangling_n about_o little_a thing_n and_o from_o lose_v holy_a love_n and_o the_o vital_n of_o religion_n in_o unchristian_a irrational_a heat_n about_o the_o less_o necessary_a variable_a circumstance_n thereof_o the_o mischief_n of_o such_o course_n grow_v daily_o more_o and_o more_o evident_a and_o according_o my_o resolution_n against_o they_o i_o be_v again_o and_o again_o thankful_a for_o many_o other_o continue_v and_o increase_v favour_n especial_o for_o my_o faithfulness_n and_o success_n in_o do_v good_n it_o be_v a_o little_a before_o this_o time_n that_o the_o good_a providence_n of_o god_n happy_o bring_v i_o into_o his_o acquaintance_n and_o converse_n be_v invite_v to_o preach_v once_o a_o lord's-day_n with_o he_o to_o the_o people_n that_o meet_v at_o glastenbury_n which_o i_o continue_v to_o do_v for_o near_o a_o year_n and_o therefore_o can_v give_v a_o better_a account_n of_o what_o these_o expression_n in_o his_o diary_n refer_v to_o he_o be_v full_o satisfy_v with_o his_o own_o practice_n in_o preach_v to_o that_o auditory_a which_o general_o consist_v of_o person_n not_o only_o very_o serious_a in_o their_o temper_n but_o free_a from_o any_o of_o those_o uncharitable_a heat_n that_o accompany_v a_o narrow_a zeal_n for_o a_o party_n they_o be_v indeed_o draw_v to_o attend_v his_o ministry_n because_o as_o they_o have_v but_o too_o just_a reason_n of_o dissatisfaction_n with_o the_o neighbour_a parish-minister_n so_o they_o soon_o find_v other_o impression_n make_v on_o they_o by_o his_o judicious_a and_o affectionate_a discourse_n which_o yet_o derive_v still_o great_a efficacy_n from_o a_o eminent_o holy_a conversation_n and_o particular_o from_o his_o large_a charity_n in_o furnish_v all_o poor_a family_n thereabouts_o with_o catechism_n and_o other_o good_a book_n and_o his_o unwearied_a care_n in_o visit_v they_o to_o examine_v their_o proficiency_n in_o the_o knowledge_n and_o practice_n of_o serious_a religion_n and_o be_v dare_v not_o throw_v off_o that_o ministerial_a work_n wherein_o god_n bless_v he_o with_o so_o eminent_a success_n to_o avoid_v some_o man_n weak_a and_o groundless_a charge_n of_o schism_n and_o separation_n but_o think_v the_o salvation_n of_o soul_n that_o need_v better_a help_n than_o they_o be_v provide_v for_o in_o public_a preferable_a to_o the_o observation_n of_o those_o ecclesiastical_a canon_n which_o exclude_v so_o 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censure_v he_o for_o it_o nay_o he_o be_v so_o extreme_o tender_a of_o prejudice_v the_o interest_n of_o parish-church_n that_o though_o he_o dare_v not_o condemn_v those_o of_o his_o brethren_n who_o form_v distinct_a congregation_n to_o which_o they_o administer_v the_o lord's-supper_n and_o all_o other_o ordinance_n though_o without_o renounce_v occasional_a communion_n with_o the_o parish-church_n yet_o he_o be_v so_o earnest_o desirous_a of_o a_o act_n of_o comprehension_n that_o may_v by_o restore_a discipline_n in_o parish-church_n and_o give_v minister_n access_n to_o they_o on_o such_o easy_a term_n as_o his_o judgement_n can_v comply_v with_o lay_v the_o foundation_n of_o a_o happy_a union_n that_o he_o resolve_v rather_o to_o wait_v long_o for_o it_o than_o do_v any_o thing_n to_o make_v the_o breach_n wide_o by_o go_v further_o than_o constant_a preach_v which_o he_o look_v on_o only_o as_o a_o necessary_a help_n and_o no_o real_a hindrance_n to_o the_o true_a interest_n of_o religion_n in_o the_o parish-church_n and_o often_o free_o declare_v so_o much_o
to_o be_v whole_o free_v from_o sin_n and_o to_o serve_v and_o enjoy_v my_o god_n and_o saviour_n in_o sinless_a holiness_n o_o lord_n help_v i_o to_o do_v as_o i_o profess_v promise_n and_o bind_v myself_o that_o my_o conversation_n may_v be_v more_o in_o heaven_n that_o thy_o will_n may_v be_v more_o do_v by_o i_o on_o earth_n as_o it_o be_v in_o heaven_n that_o i_o may_v more_o comfortable_o hope_n and_o long_o to_o be_v in_o heaven_n and_o o_o remember_v thy_o church_n and_o child_n and_o the_o whole_a world_n let_v my_o concern_n for_o they_o all_o be_v more_o according_a to_o thy_o will_n more_o pure_a and_o intense_a for_o thy_o glory_n amen_n for_o our_o lord_n jesus_n sake_n my_o worldly_a circumstance_n be_v not_o without_o difficulty_n and_o temptation_n considerable_a loss_n i_o have_v have_v yet_o continue_v give_v large_o to_o the_o poor_a my_o child_n die_v i_o do_v not_o think_v it_o my_o duty_n to_o increase_v my_o estate_n i_o have_v now_o two_o likely_a to_o live_v and_o may_v have_v more_o so_o that_o my_o charge_n rise_v when_o what_o shall_v maintain_v it_o fall_v i_o resolve_v to_o cast_v my_o care_n on_o god_n in_o well-doing_n to_o exercise_v myself_o more_o than_o ever_o to_o keep_v a_o conscience_n void_a of_o offence_n impartial_o to_o study_v and_o do_v my_o duty_n and_o pray_v continual_o brenchley_n octob._n 23._o 1685._o my_o practice_n have_v in_o some_o measure_n answer_v my_o renew_a resolution_n i_o have_v employ_v my_o time_n better_o pray_v hard_a and_o endeavour_v when_o call_v abroad_o to_o do_v some_o good_a by_o good_a discourse_n when_o i_o think_v it_o seasonable_a and_o by_o make_v peace_n god_n have_v comfort_v i_o in_o the_o kindness_n of_o friend_n his_o spirit_n i_o hope_v be_v with_o i_o may_v i_o more_o abundant_o find_v it_o as_o i_o be_o call_v to_o do_v or_o suffer_v for_o my_o jesus_n sake_n brenchley_n feb._n 25._o 168â—_n i_o hope_v i_o continue_v in_o god_n service_n though_o alas_o with_o many_o fail_n till_o i_o be_v haste_v to_o london_n and_o hackney_n the_o 5_o where_o i_o have_v a_o happy_a issue_n of_o a_o affair_n which_o evident_o threaten_v much_o trouble_n and_o loss_n i_o can_v not_o but_o give_v somewhat_o considerable_a to_o some_o that_o be_v indeed_o great_a loser_n my_o god_n i_o trust_v will_v remember_v i_o for_o good_a and_o capacitate_v i_o to_o give_v more_o thursday_n the_o 18_o mr._n samuel_n barton_n fellow_n of_o corp._n christi_fw-la college_n in_o oxford_n marry_v my_o sister_n sarah_n o_o may_v they_o be_v faithful_a to_o god_n and_o one_o another_o according_a to_o their_o duty_n may_v he_o find_v a_o comfortable_a opportunity_n for_o public_a service_n of_o which_o alas_o i_o still_o continue_v uncapable_a i_o have_v be_v late_o urge_v and_o again_o consider_v my_o scruple_n as_o to_o the_o term_n of_o conformity_n but_o can_v yet_o see_v my_o way_n if_o i_o labour_v under_o involuntary_a mistake_n god_n will_v i_o hope_v pardon_v and_o remove_v they_o brenchley_n may_v 1._o 1686._o april_n 26._o our_o young_a child_n thomas_n die_v at_o the_o end_n of_o a_o convulsion-fit_a about_o a_o hour_n long_o etc._n etc._n may_v we_o more_o practical_o believe_v we_o must_v also_o die_v and_o not_o cease_v prepare_v for_o it_o till_o we_o come_v to_o desire_v it_o and_o live_v in_o the_o constant_a joyful_a expectation_n of_o eternity_n we_o be_v many_o way_n shameful_o faulty_a that_o we_o do_v not_o pardon_v and_o help_v we_o for_o thy_o mercy_n sake_n amen_n brenchley_n may_v 29._o 1686._o on_o the_o 23d_o i_o solemn_o remember_v my_o saviour_n passion_n and_o renew_v my_o covenant_n with_o god_n through_o he_o my_o prayor_n and_o vow_n be_v principal_o for_o increase_v of_o holiness_n in_o heart_n and_o life_n god_n gracious_o make_v use_v of_o a_o mean_a affliction_n as_o other_o count_v it_o to_o quicken_v both_o the_o day_n follow_v so_o that_o the_o past_a week_n my_o watch_n have_v be_v more_o constant_a my_o recollection_n more_o frequent_a at_o least_o every_o evening_n and_o i_o sin_v to_o my_o comfort_n my_o converse_n both_o with_o god_n and_o man_n have_v be_v in_o some_o good_a measure_n if_o i_o mistake_v not_o according_a to_o the_o gospel_n i_o have_v have_v many_o refiection_n on_o god_n manifold_a goodness_n many_o abhorring_n of_o my_o own_o sinful_a vileness_n i_o desire_v my_o action_n and_o as_o god_n please_v my_o suffering_n may_v be_v answerable_a that_o i_o may_v glorify_v he_o more_o on_o earth_n and_o help_v other_o to_o do_v so_o and_o become_v very_o ready_a and_o willing_a to_o serve_v he_o better_o in_o heaven_n amen_n for_o my_o saviour_n sake_n i_o praise_v god_n i_o have_v live_v this_o week_n also_o as_o the_o former_a my_o soul_n have_v be_v daily_o first_o and_o last_o with_o god_n my_o thought_n have_v very_o frequent_o return_v unto_o he_o and_o my_o time_n have_v be_v improve_v with_o some_o diligence_n for_o his_o glory_n my_o converse_n with_o other_o &_o in_o my_o own_o family_n have_v in_o some_o measure_n express_v the_o sense_n of_o those_o great_a thing_n that_o ought_v always_o above_o all_o to_o be_v mind_v my_o prayer_n and_o resolve_n have_v be_v and_o be_v for_o constancy_n and_o progress_n amen_n for_o my_o lord_n jesus_n sake_n june_n 12._o i_o hope_v i_o be_o still_o get_v near_o heaven_n i_o have_v continue_v my_o converse_n with_o god_n and_o endeavour_v to_o quicken_v other_o with_o myself_o to_o his_o bless_a service_n affliction_n be_v much_o abate_v but_o not_o my_o fervour_n o_o may_v love_n be_v a_o abide_a principle_n thereof_o act_v i_o with_o vigour_n and_o constancy_n for_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n and_o the_o good_a of_o all_o with_o who_o i_o have_v to_o do_v amen_n for_o my_o lord_n jesus_n sake_n june_n 19_o 1686._o praise_v be_v god_n i_o have_v endeavour_v another_o week_n to_o speak_v and_o think_v and_o act_n for_o he_o his_o mercy_n further_o engage_v i_o daily_o jy_o 3._o i_o have_v think_v oft_o daily_o of_o god_n and_o heaven_n and_o oft_o pray_v that_o i_o may_v please_v he_o better_o and_o be_v more_o sit_v to_o be_v with_o he_o there_o but_o i_o have_v not_o be_v so_o serious_a and_o warm_a and_o earnest_o desirous_a of_o get_v and_o do_v good_a as_o i_o be_v before_o and_o yet_o i_o be_v last_o lord's-day_n at_o the_o sacrament_n i_o hope_v god_n know_v that_o i_o desire_v nothing_o in_o comparison_n with_o holiness_n that_o i_o may_v be_v at_o a_o great_a distance_n from_o the_o desilement_n of_o sin_n and_o have_v deep_o and_o more_o abide_v impression_n of_o his_o purify_n light_n and_o love_n and_o be_v more_o constant_a and_o successful_a in_o communicate_v thereof_o to_o other_o i_o proceed_v not_o so_o successful_o in_o my_o study_n as_o i_o will_v and_o i_o think_v sometime_o have_v i_o hope_v to_o pray_v and_o strive_v that_o i_o may_v be_v and_o do_v better_o impertinent_a discourse_n the_o too_o common_a bane_n of_o converse_n have_v be_v my_o trouble_n may_v i_o be_v able_a to_o 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those_o circumstantial_a difference_n that_o have_v occasion_v such_o unhappy_a breach_n among_o we_o he_o abhor_v all_o consorious_a heat_n and_o i_o never_o know_v he_o more_o hearty_o angry_a against_o any_o than_o against_o the_o broacher_n of_o narrow_a love-killing_a principle_n of_o what_o party_n or_o persuasion_n soever_o he_o be_v zeasous_a for_o peace_n and_o love_n as_o well_o as_o good_a work_n of_o a_o true_o heal_v and_o catholic_a spirit_n he_o be_v himself_o dissatisfy_v with_o some_o term_n of_o ministerial_a conformity_n but_o yet_o he_o encourage_v faithful_a parochial_a minister_n with_o his_o ordinary_a presence_n and_o communion_n and_o never_o censure_v those_o that_o be_v satisfy_v in_o what_o he_o scruple_v but_o keep_v up_o a_o entire_a friendship_n with_o many_o of_o very_o eminent_a note_n to_o the_o very_a last_o nunquam_fw-la de_fw-la dogmatibus_fw-la christus_fw-la disseruit_fw-la sed_fw-la saepe_fw-la &_o ubique_fw-la imo_fw-la semper_fw-la de_fw-la 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the_o physician_n he_o preach_v in_o his_o chair_n and_o in_o his_o bed_n affectionate_o exhort_v all_o that_o attend_v on_o he_o to_o the_o serious_a practice_n of_o religion_n and_o suit_v his_o counself_n to_o the_o particular_a circumstance_n as_o for_o as_o he_o know_v they_o of_o all_o that_o visit_v he_o he_o die_v with_o connortable_a hope_n of_o happiness_n and_o often_o tell_v i_o from_o the_o very_a beginning_n of_o his_o sickness_n that_o he_o have_v no_o torment_a fear_n of_o death_n that_o though_o he_o can_v have_v wish_v he_o have_v be_v more_o watchful_a and_o useful_a yet_o he_o hope_v he_o have_v be_v sincere_a and_o trust_v that_o for_o christ_n sake_n all_o his_o sin_n be_v forgive_v that_o though_o he_o have_v not_o rapture_n and_o transport_v yet_o he_o have_v a_o constant_a peaceful_a calm_a which_o continue_v to_o the_o last_o moment_n of_o his_o life_n and_o for_o some_o weck_n before_o he_o die_v he_o long_v to_o be_v dissolve_v and_o earnest_o desire_v if_o 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