put your whole Trust and Confidence in him who hath promised all them that so do never to leave them nor forsake them Which God Almighty grant he never may for the sake of his dear Son Christ Jesus our only Saviour and Redeemer into whose hands I commit you all bidding You and all the World adieu VVhich may be added to those he spake on the Ladder mentioned in the Epistle At last he concludeth his life with these words as may be seen in one of his Papers I resign up my Spirit most chearfully into the hands of God hoping to find mercy with him through Christ I know no other name under Heaven whereby I may be saved but his alone who was dead and is alive again and liveth for evermore And therefore I am confident of his most precious promises which I believe to be faithful and true as he is for pardon and immortal Life Therefore I beseech him to accept of my most hearty thanks for his great mercy shewn unto me hoping he will receive me into the Company of Spirits of Just Men made perfect to give him thanks for ever And as I desire to find mercy with him so I forgive all mine Enemies beseeching God to forgive them and to bless and comfort all my Friends that at last we may live together in everlasting life From the whole of this Narrative and Discourse we may learn 1. To despair of none tho' never so ignorant and ungodly but while the sinner is on this side the Grave let us use the means of Divine appointment It is the good pleasure of the Almighty here and there to cull out from among the Children of men the chief of sinners Sometimes he lays hold upon the most unlikely and draws them by his Spirit to his Son Sometimes he calleth the deformed and most despicable and hath a time of love for them Sometimes he rectifies by his Grace such as are of as crooked a Nature as is in Nature to be found and renewes in them a right Spirit Sometimes he who sweareth by himself that he hath no pleasure in the death of the wicked but rather that he return from his evil ways and live turneth the heart of a Swearer a Lyar a Thief and Murderer to mind his Salvation in good earnest O the unfathomable depth of goodness and mercy of the most High and Holy One of Israel I have more than once or twice read of such as have cryed out in the sense of Superabounding Grace Let none despair of the worst of sinners for our sake 2. Let not any dare to presume in a course of sin because God is gracious His mercy is over all but his special and saving mercy is bounded with his truth and granted only to the truly penitent If thou be a self-willd wretch and resolved to persist in the way of sinners I pray ask leave first of the Great Lawgiver before thou go any further Ah! but with what face darest thou beg such a liberty But if thou wilt go on without his leave then go out of his sight Jer. 23.24 where he cannot see thee but whither canst thou flee from his presence Can any man hide himself in secret places that I shall not see him saith the Lord. Do not I fill Heaven and Earth saith the Lord. He threatens presumptuous ones that fear not his glorious and fearful Name to make their Plagues wonderful * Deut. 28.58 59. chap. 29.19 20 c. But if out of his unspeakable compassion he plucks here and there one as fire-brands out of the fire yet he usually makes such know by sad and bitter experience the evil of their ways and doings and what 't is not to fear this glorious and fearful Name The Lord thy God he will wound the hairy scalp of those that go on in their wickedness and tho he healeth some whom he seeth walking in destructive ways yet ordinarily he lays the foundation of the cure in trouble and anguish of spirit and deep distress of mind 3. Let us bless the Lord with our Soul who leadeth captivity captive and makes a Thief and Murderer happy in turning to him and sets him up as a monument of his stupendous Grace that we may behold and wonder Our Converts are so few and rare among those that walk at liberty that it cannot but be lookt upon as a singular Example of rich and special grace when we can find but one among those that are bound in Fetters truly converted Fishers of men that have not the liberty to cast their Net in the broad Waters or if they have find little success are glad to see what they can get in the narrow Straights And if they can get but one Soul they count the gain more worth abundantly than all their toil and labour Some heretofore have ransackt Prisons to rake out such wretches as they found willing to swear against their own Consciences to ruine others But it 's more refreshing to a Servant of Christ to find out one that will speak the Truth in his heart and from his heart tho' it be against his own life One that confest and gave glory to God one that prayed much and obtained great Faith greater than is found among many of a long standing in the profession of the true Religion and loved much because much was forgiven and his consolations thereupon were not small That wicked one at first prevailed with him but the good Spirit at last overcame the Devil Greater is he saith the Holy Apostle that is in you than he that is in the World 1 Joh. 4.4 The blessed Spirit inclined and enabled him to repent of his Evil Works and Wickedness but Satan could not make him repent of his ceasing to do evil he was not able by force or fraud to make him repent of his Repentance or of the forsaking of his sins or of his doing works meet for Repentance Converting Grace is the Sinners rescue and deliverance from the God of this World and Christ's subduing his iniquities Henceforth 1. The sincere Convert is one blessed of the Lord with all spiritual blessings He is one of the number of the Father's peculiar ones one among Christ's Brethren and Friends one in whom his Holy Spirit abideth He is one that hath the mark of God's Election upon him and the seed of everlasting Love in him that will never die nor leave him till it spring up to Eternal Life A sincere Convert was once a Prodigal that had wasted all and brought himself to a starving condition but now he is come to himself and returned to his Father humbly confessing his Folly and Wickedness and is made welcom He was as one wounded and lying in the High Way in his blood and Filth but now he is healed cleansed and revived Should you see a Christian among the Turks used like a Horse or a Dog would not such a sight make your bowels yearn towards him Why a poor
bringeth forth sin and sin when it is finished bringeth forth death Jam. 1.14 15. If we provide for the flesh our prayers will but little avail and help us against the fulfilling of the lusts of it Remember Friend into whose hands these papers come while thou warrest against that wicked one thou standest on slippery ground thou fightest as it were with a burden upon thy Back and thy Enemy hath this Advantage against thee in that he is invisible and hath also a party within thee whom he too easily persuades and inticeth to joyn with him against thy Soul Be sober be vigilant and pray without ceasing and when he shoots in his fiery-darts hold up the Sword of the Spirit and the shield of Faith and lift up a cry to him who is the hope and help of his Israel and never yield consent if thou consent not he may disturb thee a while but cannot conquer 'T is written for thy encouragement Submit your selves therefore to God who giveth grace to the humble Resist the Devil and he shall flee from you Jam. 4.6 7. God will have mercy on whom he will have mercy Obser 4 and such as have much forgiven do love much and do more than others So did that wicked Woman call'd a sinner Luk. 7.37 who forsaking all other Lovers Luke 7.47 inquires after Christ and knowing where he was makes bold to enter in without the Pharissee Invitation She expresseth her love in washing his feet with her tears and wiping them with the hair of her head her heart runs out at her eyes as it were saying Alas my Lord that ever I should do as I have done O wonderful that ever thou shouldst admit such a wretch as I am to come into thy presence Sinners notorious for lewdness and vile practices have come to themselves and returned unto their Heavenly Father and have proved wonders to themselves and others and Eminent examples of redeeming time and glorifying the Lord in bringing forth much fruit and much more than many hundred that make some profession of Religion do O what a difference doth grace make between a bare Professor and a real Convert What a glorious change is made in the Heart and Life of a true Penitent What difference was there between Gymer when first imprisoned and the same man after at his apprehension at Yarmouth At first his heart is shut up and he openeth not his mouth to give glory to God in Confession and then he play'd at Cards and complied with his Fellow-Prisoners in doing as they did tho' his Conscience grumbled at it and rebuked him for it afterward he ingeniously confesseth his wickedness and all comes out freely he humbles himself greatly as Manitassch did in his affliction 2 Chron. 33.12 He is a man of sorrow and is solicitous about the state of his Soul Now his eyes being open his heart is affected and he is thankful to God that he was taken and did not escape the hand of the pursuers Now he is much taken with the wisdom and goodness of God in bringing him to Repentance in such a way and giving him a space of repentance He now sets upon the work in good earnest and help comes in and he blesseth the Divine Majesty of Heaven for exciting and stirring up the spirit of divers of his Servants both Ministers and others to assist him by their prayers and instructions Sinners that have gone on with an high hand in bloody and deceitful ways tho' the Lord give pardon upon repentance Obser 5 yet he usually takes vengeance on their inventions I read of one Wasoraw a Gentleman See fulfilling of Scripture p. 488. who was one who took delight in making difference between men and he stirr'd up a Neighbour Gentleman to kill another and finding him troubled in mind about the murder committed he told him more of that practice would be the best cure For he himself had killed six and at first he was much disquieted but the longer it continued it became the more easy But one day he riding to a place where two were to decide a quarrel by fighting his Horse stumbles on the side of a steep Rock and he falls a great way down his Sword falling out before him yet without any hurt Upon this the Lord brake in upon his conscience so that he turns home with great trouble and remorse and a most kindly change follows thereupon and for some years after he manifested much tenderness and repentance He spent much time alone in mourning before his de ath and that day he dyed he was heard in his Chamber wrastling in prayer and after long continuance they of the house knocking at the door and getting no answer brake it open and find him dead upon his knees and the whole blood of his body which from every passage had issued out swimming about him on the floor Tho' men may neglect doing of justice yet Divine Justice will not spare the murderer tho' upon his repentance God will remember his Soul in mercy The shedder of man's blood sometimes escapes the Justice of man but the righteous Lord of Heaven and earth will not let him go unpunished tho' he pardon the truly penitent sinner yet he declares to the world the abhorrency of his sin And thus he did deal with David 2 Sam. 12.9 10.13 14. And thus he dealt also with this poor Malefactor we treat of he set his sins in array against him which as a Lyon did sorely bruise and wound his Conscience He tells us in writing of tumultuous thoughts that he had in secret about his condition without Christ and considering saith he how Satan hath betrayed me and led me from one sin to another God was pleased to make me sensible of my sins and I was ready to despair of any mercy But in reading those words of Isaiah chap. 1.8 Come now and let us reason together saith the Lord tho' your sins be as scarlet they shall be as white as snow tho' they be red like Crimson they shall be as Wool And upon the thoughts of Mary Magdalen whose wickedness was great yet upon her repentance she obtained pardon I had comfort But many other times I have been almost distracted for fear God would not accept of such a vile wretch as I am But then I thought of the Thief on the Cross and put up many prayers and have been again refreshed And as he was under deep dejection of Spirit Obser 6 so afterwards he was sweetly lifted up As his afflictions abounded so did his Consolations in the free and preciouspromises His comfort arising from his hope in the word was so strong and steady that for some Months before he dyed he feared not death no not that kind of death he expected to die but rather greatly desired it O saith he Psal 55.6 that I had the wings of a Dove The time seemed long to him till he came to his rest He declined not in the least the
hope of a better life He harkened to this motion and declared his willingness in doing what I requested and at last sent me some Manuscripts written with his own hand Having given the Reader this brief Account of some passages of this poor Malefactor's Life I shall in the next place from his example make some observations more particular which I heartily desire we may wisely improve to our spiritual Benefit There is no trust to be put in the best Nature or Natural Disposition Obs 1 Gymer had a good Report in this respect and was as I have heard commended as a person of sobriety and meekness and readiness to do for any that stood in need of his help yet he proved at last a Thief and Murderer Let a man have never so good a Nature 't is still a nature tainted with sin and being void of true Grace in time of temptation hath no inclination or power to resist the Devil A good nature is easily inticed and led into evil practices 'T is a nature not renewed by the Holy Spirit attended with a hard heart as a Peach under a smooth skin hath a hard stone 'T is a nature like the Sea very calm at times but rageth when the wind and storms arise 'T is said the tame Fox doth more mischief than any other when he gets away and runs wild David was a good man and of an excellent Spirit yet in time of temptation he defiles Bathsheba and killeth Uriah her Husband with the Sword 2 Sam. 11.4 2 Sam. 12.9 If a good nature sanctified thus wickedly plays its part and acts so strangely and cruelly too what confidence can we put in a nature not seasoned with grace O Christian hear and give ear your Lord hath spoken it Watch and pray that ye enter not into temptation Mat. 26.41 And again What I say unto you I say unto all watch Mark 13.47 Be not high minded but fear Let him that standeth take heed lest he fall Consider seriously there are many Adversaries 1. Many Devils this lower Region is full of such Monsters that are great in power exceeding subtle and make it their business to deceive and destroy immortal Souls 2. Your own heart is deceitful above measure and desperately wicked very prone to turn aside and comply with the Enemy And 3. Very wise and holy persons have fallen down wounded in Conscience before this Enemy and hardly recovered their peace with God a long time after Keep thy heart therefore with all diligence study the frame and constitution of thy own mind and labour to understand where thy weakness most lies and where the Tempter is most likely to prevail Watch against the occasions and first sproutings of sin and pray in good earnest Lord lead me not into temptation but deliver me from evil A man may pray and do many commendable good things Obs 2 and yet afterwards fall into very vile and abominable ways and practices This poor Wretch for some years together did use to call upon God and walk blameless comparatively with many others yet at last he became a Lyar a Swearer a Sabbath-breaker he coveted an evil Covetousness and then violently spilt the blood of an innocent person one that had done him no harm Herod heard John the Baptist gladly and did many things and yet put him to death tho' against his own Conscience Mark 6.20 26 27. Judas was receiver of the Contributions that came in and. Steward to lay out upon occasion Vines on the Sacrament p. 59 60. but being not faithful to his trust he is called a Thief John 12.6 And tho' he retained to such a Master and was a Teacher and Preacher of heavenly Doctrine yet he proceeds higher and of a Thief be comes a Traytor Luke 22.4 6. He conceived this sin and travelled with it and with no better preparation comes to the Passover After the Sop Satan enters into him John 13.27 And now as the Devil would have it he sells that Blood saith that Reverend Minister of Christ which should have been sprinkled on his Door-posts This is a fearful Example saith he to all that after such a President dare venture upon a Sacracrament to which they come with purpose to go on in those sins they bring to it I question not but there are who daily say their prayers and yet the Devil puts them upon hating those ways which their Conscience tells them are the best and to do evil to those persons that would willingly do them good and help them forward in the way of Life And tho' they pray for grace to walk in the ways of God yet their prayers being without Faith unfeigned and seriousness Satan still prevails and puts them upon chusing those ways the end whereof is death and damnation Gymer told me he prayed that Lord's-day morning tho' but coldly as he afterwards observed before he went forth Yet neither the consideration of the God he prayed to nor of the day he commanded to be kept holy did restrain him from the committing of those hainous crimes Reader if thou truly desirest to profit by this Example make conscience of praying continually but take heed of resting in formal cold and lazy prayers Prayer is but one means and as 't is to be followed with care and diligence in order to the preservation of the inward man so it is to be joyned with the use of other means of Christ's appointment We must watch as well as pray and put our trust in the Lord as well as offer the Sacrifices of righteousness Psal 4.5 The total forbearance of food in a few days doth ordinarily bring forth death and the giving Nature less than it requires weakens but if you give it its due yet other means are to be used as apparel exercise rest fire air water for the maintaining of the Body in health and well-being Thus we must pray and read the Word of God and hear it Preacht and put on Christ by Faith for the strengthening of our Soul and put on the whole Armour of God that we may be able to stand against the wiles of the Devil Ephes 6.11 Temptations to vilest and most detestable deeds beset unwary sinners on a sudden yet usually they prevail by degrees Obser 3 Gymer little thought of being led into such Temptations or of yielding to them when he went forth to his Masters House Nay if you will believe him he thought nothing had no design of Committing those crimes for which he dyed half an hour before he was guilty of them But one sin made way for another He had yielded for some time to the sin of Lying and sometimes Swearing and then to Sabbath-breaking and having not truly repented of these sins the Devil gets ground and grows stronger and stronger upon him and evil motions suggested being not resisted but admitted and dallied withal overcome him Every man is tempted when he is drawn away of his own lust then when lust hath conceived it