Selected quad for the lemma: spirit_n
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A37011
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The Richmond heiress, or, A woman once in the right a comedy acted at the Theatre Roayl [sic] by Their Majesties servants / written by Tho. D'Urfey.
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D'Urfey, Thomas, 1653-1723.
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1693
(1693)
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Wing D2769; ESTC R224377
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70,196
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72
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the Wells again Madam Sophr. Fool Sir Quib. Fool that 's nonsence I 'll say 't And why Fool pray Madam What and which and where and when and Stock Hold hold prithee Sir Quibble let me attack her she call'd me Cuckold you know Come Madam I 'll stand ye fair ' saith Your Reason your Reason come slap dash away with it and so forth Sophr. Why I have skill in Physiognomy and see 't in thy Face All Humanes are allotted to some Fate or other and thine is to be a Cuckold The dimpled Slit there upon the Tip of thy Nose and shaggy meeting of thy Pent-house Eye-brows shew it plain To be brief a Lampoon upon ye all were a meritorious Work First you Mrs. Squeamish for always railing at it and yet by your ridiculous Behaviour perpetually giving cause Secondly thee Knight for being Friends with Fortune that allots thee to be bubbleâ—… by thy younger Brother Next you Sir for the intolerable Town Vices of Drinking Wenching Gaming cum mâ—…ltis aliis as I told you before Then you good Protestant Refugee for wheedling and coâ—…uting your Dicky there And last poor Dicky for running about the Town Wagering and Stockjobbing when Pogry has a more proper Job for him to look after and so farewel t' ye Look Sharp if thou'dst be free from future Scorns The less thy Heed the larger still thy Horns Pats him on the Pate and Exit Stock Hey Slap dash why she 's as sharp as Vinegar this Morning and so forth Sir Quib. Zooks so she is I 'll say 't But why the Devil does she rail so And where the Devil has she all her Wit I wonder Mrs. Stock Dis Railery is too morose she wants de French breeding extreamly Squeam To vindicate a Lampoon O filthy Hotsp Faith Dick Thour' t a Fool if thou mind'st what she says she uses her Father Brothers and Sisters in this manner Stock Not I slap dash she may talk what she will and so forth I believe nothing against Pogry Come Cousin Siss and Gentlemen I invite ye all to Dinner to Day for little Pogry and I here intend to have the Fiddles and be merry Hey slap dash I vow my Heart 's as light as a Feather for I have laid a World of good Wagers this Morning I shall get five hundred Pounds by 'em I 'm sure besides Stock rises to a Miracle And I've invented two such rare Projects for the improvement of Tabby Cats Skins for Ladies Muffs and Spirit of Acorns to cure Agues that the whole Exchange rings of it Come there you shall know my Wagers too and say of me as that Eminent Common Council-man some Years since did to the then Lord Mayor Oh how great a Grace from Heaven is a Wise Citizen Exeunt SCENE II. Enter Cunnington and Marmalet Marm. Well as I 'm a Christian Sir if what you have promis'd me prove to be true you have made me the happiest Woman in the whole World Cun. Hold a your Tongue and take care you no cross your Star Come vere sall we be private Marm. Have but Patience a Minute Sir I 'll only go and see what the Doctor is doing and come and conduct ye immediately Cun. Make haste vat you tink de Star vill stay for you Marm. I go Sir I go Exit Marm. Cuning Ha ha ha ha I find this is some old Waiting-woman belonging to this place whom I have already turn'd the wrong side outward with promising her a Husband I have engaged to tell her Fortune upon Condition she discovers all her Secrets to me The first of which shall be the Discovery of Quickwit's Design which I am resolv'd to ruin only for the dear sake of the Mischief that will come of it I have frighted her damnably already I have made her believe I am the Son of the Devil upon a Laâ—…land-Witch and that if she obeys me she shall live to be a Countess but if not she shall be brought to sell Save-alls and Card-matches old Rags and Small coal in her old Age and at last die upon a Dunghill near Fleet-ditch Here she comes now to my Grimace agen Re-enter Marmalet Marm. Come Sir the Coast is clear now Softly for Heaven's sake for the Doctor is just coming up Cun. If he dare come in my presence I will conjure him Marm. Bless me Cun. Vat you pray Zoon Let me no hear you pray go get you gone Exeunt Enter Guiacum with a Letter Sir Charles T. Romance Shinken and Numps Guiac Well Friend the Countess has done me the Honour to inform me in her Letter here that she relies upon my Skill and Experience to cure her Son nor shall my diligence be wanting but she writes me no Word here whence the Delirium sprung Prithee how came his Brain distemper'd first what Accident what Cause hah Numps Odswokers and 't like your Worship all that I know is they zay Maister Toomas was hugely in Love with one of his Lady Countesses Dairy Maids and becase they cross'd him he dissolv'd with himself to vall stark mad upon 't Her Name was Mopsee and 't like ye yow was parlous Jade yow had a Skin an 't were any Milk-pan and a Vace as bright as a Pewter-dish yow was vengenable handsome Odswokers T. Rom. Odswoker ha ha ha damn him What silly Clownish Booby have we got here Shink He was come of the ancient Stock of the Pritains I believe by his Peard And look you Cousin if he is Pritains he is Shentleman a-course and Shinken will findicate his Honour T. Rom. His Honour ha ha ha why hark'e Cousin the Beggars have long Beardâ—… are they all Gentlemen too Shink Look you Cousin if they are Pritains they are Sir Char. A Man of Quality supposed to be well bred too and run mad for a Dunghil-Drab a Dairy-Wench This is very odd The Name of this unhappy Gentleman good Doctor Guiac Why Sir his Name is De la Fool he 's of the ancient Family of the De la Fool 's of the South their great Ancestor was a famous Officer under King Harold who being routed by William the Conqueror fell mad and the Disease has more or less run in the Blood ever since There is near them another Family of the De la Wit 's too that are craz'd at one time of the Moon and indeed it may be properly said they divide her between 'em one being mad in the Wax and t'other in the Wane Sir Char. Nay nay 't is a mad Age here too as well as in the South and therefore I the less wonder at it but my Daughter Doctor my Daughter how does she recover Guiac More of that Sir presently Go Friend and try if you can decoy my Lord hither And go you Christopher and bid Marmalet bring her Lady too there is no better Cure of Lunacy than by reflection Sir Charles your Daughter's Distemper proceeding from disordered Love makes her still vent the Effects upon the imaginary Persons particularly
offers up Wit Beauty Merit A Trophy to the â—…ordid Idol Money Can I Love such a Man and own it too No I will rather Poyson Stab or Drown Revenge my self on my unlucky self Do a thing Barbarous beyond my Sex Rather than this base Man shall know I Love him Eyes dry dry your Tears and keep the Secret in Whatever grief I feel let none be seen Tho the strong Passion ne're so powerful grow I le Choak with Love rather than let him know Exit End of the Third Act. ACT. IV. Scene 1st Enter Mrs. Sockjobb and Squeamish Squeam COme Come Cousin you must give me leave to tell ye I understand an Intreague as well as an older Person to let a young Hectorly Fellow shew he ha so much command over ye as to dare to quarrel and expose ye in Company Oh filthy it shews a familiarity too sawcy for Civil Conversation I hope Cousin you have not been particular with the Fellow Mrs. Stock Vat you mean by dat Cousin vat is particular Squeam Oh horrid I hope you wont put me to the Fatigue of a Blush by telling the Nauseous meaning that were to deserve to be Lampoon'd indeed when a Man is particular with a Woman I think there is no great nead of a Sophister to explain the meaning Mrs. Stock Vel Vel Pox take the particular dat is all one I assure you I have don vid him now and vill encourage that fine young Gentleman dat talk and â—…ow and rally so vel en Francois me no endure de Huff de Bounce de brutal way of Love no longer Dear Monsieur Romance is all French all Talk all Air all Gallantry and de oder Gentleman dat speak de Welch is ver fine person too who I presume Cousin has de extream inclination to have de Intreague vid you Squeam An Intreague with me Oh filthy Fellow that 's a worser abuse than any has been yet put upon me for he 's the veriest Fop in Nature Mrs. Stock Fop Oh Mon deu vat and worth twenty thousand Pounds dats impossible Oh he is de ver fine Person and has the greatest tender for you Cousin Squeam Oh fogh I shall be Lampoon'd about him in a Weeks time I le lay my Life on 't Oh horrid I le go and lâ—…k my self up But are you sure he 's worth twenty thousand Pounds Cousin Changing Tone Mrs. Stock Assurement â—…nd vill make good settlement vich is ver much as times go Squeam See here dey come vid Monsieur Stockjobb who I have wheedle so and make such great Fool that he vill believe nothing against me vich my oder cast of Coxcomb say Enter Stockjobb Holspurr T. Romance Shinkin and Singers with a Bowl of Punch Stockj Come Come Let 's have no brawling nor quarrelling but sit down lovingly together and help off with the Bowl and so forth what Pogry my Dear my Fawn my Pricket and my Cousin Sissâ—… too Hey slaâ—…dash we 'll all sit down too 't Faith Mrs. Stockj Vat you please Dicky ven de Husband Command de Wiâ—…e must alway be Obedient dat is but Reason Hotsp Ah subtle Witch Stock Come Squire Thomas and my Welsh Friend Pray sit round Here 's some Honest Friends of mine will give us a Catch in three Parts Cousin Sisse Prithee sit down and so forth Squeam Oh horrid Cousin would you have me give such occasion to be Lampoon'd as to sit drinking filthy Brandy amongst Men Stock Filthy Brandy Twelve Shillings a Gallon by this Hand and will certainly be the best Commodity in the whole Kingdom shortly Harkee Sisse such another Word and if there be a Lampoon to be got in Christendom and so forth I 'll get one for thee Shink According to Shinkins Observations this is not Prandy look you but Punch which is fery goot to raise Ploods and cause Plushes and Pewtys in fair Ladies look you therefore pray you sit down I pray you now Squeam Nay Pray Sir Oh Lord Nay if you will force me What shall I do I am so ashamed well if I do I 'll swear I 'll drink in my own Cup then Go Ponade and fetch it it holds three quarters of a Spoonful just T. Rom. Dear Madam Let me be happy with your sweet Hand To Mrs. Stock Hotsp You 〈◊〉 Takes her from him Mrs. Stock Vat aile de Ruffian To Holspurr Monsieur I am your most devoted To T. Romance Hotsp His most devoted Oh rare Jilt dee fleer Dog bold I shall have your Nose anon Enter Ponade with a very little Cup. Stock Come Come Slap-dash No more grumbling Will but take your Cup and then let 's have the Catch and so forth They sit down Why Cousin Sisse What hast got there an Acorn Cup why a Flea may drink off that prethee take one of ours and so forth Strikes the Cup out of her Hand Squeam Oh horrid not for the World the quantity of this is enough to suffocate my Spirits as I am a Virgin Hear a Catch in three parts in praise of Punch Stock By the Lord Mayor very well perform'd Boys Tholl Loll Loll aâ—… dickins take it it won't do now yet I could have Sung my Sol Fa when I was a Batchelour purely Faith but these Wives these Wives spoil all our Parts Come Here 's Prosperity to the City and Trade Holspur rises up and goes behind Mrs. Stockjobâ—… T. Rom. And as I was saying Madam To Mrs. Stockjob Hotsp And as I was saying before Madam Pulling her from him Mrs. Stook Sir I have nothing to say to you you are strangely troublesom To Hotspur Dat last agen I beseech you Monsieur To T. Romance Stock Who leaves his Place there Will. Hotspur What a Plague dost stand brooding upon my Wiâ—…e there for prithee come and take thy Cup and let the Squire alone he has business with her and so forth Hotsp Business with her Here 's a damn'd Cuckoldly Son of a Whore and so forth To Squeamish Shink When her is in Wales look you her could drink very goot Metheglins with her Cousin Cadwallader at the Three Red Herrings and Câ—…een Leeks in Moâ—…mouth but now since her saw you her Heart has done nothing but thump thump and then her does sigh so sadly Hey hoh sighs so that if her is obdurates and cruels and will not love Shinkin why then alas there is now way for her look you but Hey ho Hotspur teizes Mrs. Stockjobb she rises and call out her Husband Squeam Love Oh horrid the very word is enough to fright me into an Apopleâ—…y would he would marry me tho as I 'm a Virgin aside Mrs. Stock By this Hand I believe I could make Monsieur lay forty Wager and buy Stock every hour if it were not for dat rude Fellow dat come and disturb us Stock Sayst thou so Slapdash Gad if I had known that he should have found this way to the Door before now an uncivil Person to come to a Citizens Table and be well