Selected quad for the lemma: spirit_n
Text snippets containing the quad
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A02166
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The repentance of Robert Greene Maister of Artes. Wherein by himselfe is laid open his loose life, with the manner of his death
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Greene, Robert, 1558?-1592.
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1592
(1592)
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STC 12306; ESTC S119749
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13,805
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32
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be the day wherein I was born and haplesse be the brests that gaue me sucke Why did God create me to bee a vessell of wrath Why did hee breath life into me thus to make me a lost sheepe Oh I feele a hell already in my conscience the number of my sinnes do muster before my eies the poore mens plaints that I haue wronged cries out in mine eares and saith Robin Greene thou art damnd nay the iustice of God tels mee I cannot bee saued Now I do remember though too late that I haue read in the Scriptures how neither adulterers swearers theeues nor murderers shall inherite the kingdome of heauen What hope then can I haue of any grace when giuen ouer from all grace I exceeded all other in these kinde of sinnes If thus vppon earth and aliue I feele a hell oh what a thing is that hell where my soule shall euerlastingly liue in torments I am taught by the scripture to pray but to whom shoulde I pray to him that I haue blasphemed to him that I haue contemned and despised whose name I haue taken in vaine No no I am in a hell Oh that my last gaspe were come that I might be with Iudas or Cain for their place is better than mine or that I might haue power with these hands to vnlose my soule from this wretched carcasse that hath imprisoned so many wicked villainies within it Oh I haue sinned not against the Father nor against the Sonne but against the holy Ghost for I presumed vpon grace and when the spirit of God cried in my mind thoght and said drunkennes is a vice whoredome is a vice I carelesly in contempt resisted this motion and as it were in a brauery committed these sinnes with greedines Oh now I shall crie with Diues to haue one drop of water for my tongue but shall not be heard I haue sinned against my owne soule and therefore shalbe cast into vtter darknesse and further I shall not come till I haue paid the vttermost farthing which I shal neuer be able to satisfie O happy are you that feele the sparks of Gods fauour in your hearts happy are you that haue hope in the passion of Christ happy are you that beleue that God died for you happy are you that can pray Oh why doth not God shew the like mercie vnto mee The reason is because in all my life I neuer did any good I alwaies gloried in sinne and despised them that imbraced vertue God is iust and cannot pardon my offences and therefore I would I were out of this earthly hell so I were in that second hell that my soule might suffer tormentes for now I am vexed both in soule and bodie In this despairing humor searching further into the said Booke of Resolution I found a place that greatly did comfort mee laid before me the promises of Gods mercie shewing mee that although the Iustice of God was great to punish sinners yet his mercie did exceede his works and though my faults were as red as skarlet yet washt with his bloud they shoulde bee made as white as snow therein was laid before mine eyes that Dauid who was called a man after his owne heart did both commit adultery and sealde it with murther yet when hee did repent God heard him and admited him to his fauour Therin was laid before me the obstinate sinne of Peter that not onely denied his Maister Christ but also forswore himselfe yet so soone as hee shed tears and did hartily repent him his offences were pardoned Therein was laid open the theefe that had liued licentiously and had scarse in all his life done one good deed and yet hee was saued by hope in the mercies of God Therein was also laide open how the seueritie of the Law was mittigated with the sweet and comfortable promises of the Gospell insomuch that I began to be somewhat pacified a little quieted in mind taking great ioy and comfort in the pithie perswasions and promises of Gods mercie alleadged in that Booke And yet I was not presently resolued in my conscience that God would deale so fauorably with me for that stil the multitude of my sinnes presented me with his Iustice and would therefore reason thus with my selfe Why those men before mentioned were elected and predestinated to be chosen vessels of Gods glory therfore though they did fal yet they rose againe did shew it in time with some other fruits of their election But contrariwise I the most wicked of all men was euen brought vp from my swadling clouts in wickednes my infancy was sin my riper age increast in wickednes I tooke no pleasure but in ill neither was my minde sette vpon any thing but vpon the spoyle then seeing all my life was lead in lewdnes and I neuer but once felt any remorse of conscience how can God pardon mee that repent rather for feare than for loue Yet calling vnto mind the words of Esay that at what time soeuer a sinner doth repent him from the bottome of his heart the Lord would wipe away all his wickednes out of his remembrance Thus beeing at a battaile betweene the spirite and the flesh I beggane to feele a greater comfort in my mind so that I did teares confesse and acknowledge that although I was a most miserable sinner yet the anguish that Christ suffered on the Crosse was able to purge and cleanse me from all my offences so that taking hold with faith vpon the promises of the Gospell I waxed strong in spirite and became able to resist and withstand all the desperate attempts that Sathan had giuen before to my weake and feéble conscience When thus I had consideratly thought on the wretchednes of my life and therewithall looked into the vncertainty of death I thought good to write a short discourse of my the same which I haue ioyned to this treatise containing as followeth The life and death of Robert Greene Maister of Artes. I Neede not make long discourse of my parentes who for their grauitie and honest life is well knowne and esteemed amongst their neighbors namely in the Cittie of Norwitch where I was bred and borne But as out of one selfe same clod of clay there sprouts both stinking weeds and delightfull flowers so from honest parentes often grow most dishonest children for my Father had care to haue mee in my Non-age brought vp at schoole that I might through the studie of good letters grow to be a frend to my self a profitable member to the common-welth and a comfort to him in his age But as early pricks the tree that will proue a thorne so euen in my first yeares I began to followe the filthines of mine owne desires and neyther to listen to the wholesome aduertisements of my parentes nor bee rulde by the carefull correction of my Maister For being at the Uniuersitie of Cambridge I light amongst wags as lewd as my selfe with whome I consumed the flower of
my youth who drew mee to trauell into Italy and Spaine in which places I sawe and practizde such villaime as is abhominable to declare Thus by their counsaile I sought to furnish my selfe with coine which I procured by cunning sleights from my Father and my friends and my Mother pampered me so long and secretly helped mee to the oyle of Angels that I grew thereby proue to all mischiefe so that beeing then conuersant with notable Braggarts boon companions and ordinary spend-thrifts that practized sundry superficiall studies I became as a Sien grafted into the same stocke whereby I did absolutely participate of their nature and qualities At my return into England I ruffeled out in my silks in the habit of Malcontent and seemed so discontent that no place would please me to abide in nor no vocation cause mee to stay my selfe in but after I had by degrees proceeded Maister of Arts I left the Uniuersitie and away to London where after I had continued some short time driuen my self out of credit with sundry of my frends I became an Author of Playes and a pennier of Loue Pamphlets so that I soone grew famous in that qualitie that who for that trade growne so ordinary about London as Robin Greene. Yong yet in yeares though olde in wickednes I began to resolue that there was nothing bad that was profitable whereupon I grew so rooted in all mischiefe that I had as great a delight in wickednesse as sundrie hath in godlinesse and as much felicitie I tooke in villainy as others had in honestie Thus was the libertie I got in my youth the cause of my licentious liuing in my age and beeing the first steppe to hell I find it now the first let from heauen But I would wish all my natiue Countrymen that reade this my repentaunce First to feare God in their whole life which I neuer did Secondly to obey their Parents and to listen vnto the wholesome counsaile of their Elders so shall their dayes be multiplied vppon them heere on earth and inherite the crowne of glorie in the kingdome of heauen I exhort them also to leaue the company of lewd and ill liuers for conuersing with such Copes-mates drawes them into sundry dangerous inconueniences nor lette them haunt the company of harlots whose throates are as smooth as oyle but their feet lead the steps vnto death and destruction for they like Syrens with their sweete inchaunting notes soothed me vp in all kind of vngodlines Oh take heede of Harlots I wish you the vnbridled youth of England for they are the Basiliskes that kill with their eyes they are the Syrens that allure with their sweete lookes and they leade their fauorers vnto their destruction as a sheepe is lead vnto the slaughter From whordome I grew to drunkennes from drunkennes to swearing and blasphemiug the name of God hereof grew quarrels frayes and continual controuersies which are now as wormes in my conscience gnawing incessantly And did I not through hearty repentance take hold of Gods mercies euen these detestable sinnes woulde drench me downe into the damnable pit of destruction for Stipendium peccati mors Oh knowe good Countrymen that the horrible sins and intollerable blasphemie I haue vsed against the Maiestie of God is a blocke in my conscience and that so heauy that there were no way with me but desperation if the hope of Christs death and passion did not helpe to ease mee of so intollerable and heauie a burthen I haue long with the deafe Adder stopt mine eares against the voice of Gods Ministers yea my heart was hardened with Pharao against all the motions that the spirit of God did at any time worke in my mind to turn me from my detestable kind of liuing Yet let me confesse a trueth that euen once and yet but once I felt a feare and horrour in my conscience then the terrour of Gods iudgementes did manifestly teach me that my life was had that by sinne I deserued damnation and that such was the greatnes of my sinne that I deserued no redemption And this inward motion I receiued in Saint Andrews Church in the Cittie of Norwich at a Lecture or Sermon then preached by a godly learned man whose doctrine and the maner of whose teaching I liked wonderfull well yea in my conscience such was his singlenes of hart and zeale in his doctrine that hee might haue conuerted the most monster of the world Well at that time whosoeuer was worst I knewe my selfe as bad as he for being new come from Italy where I learned all the villanies vnder the heauens I was drownd in pride whoredome was my daily exercise and gluttony with drunkennes was my onely delight At this Sermon the terrour of Gods iudgementes did manifestly teach me that my exercises were damnable and that I should bee wipte out of the booke of life if I did not speedily repent my loosenes of life and reforme my misdemeanors At this Sermon the said learned man who doubtles was the child of God did beate downe sinne in such pithie and perswasiue manner that I began to call vnto mind the daunger of my soule and the preiudice that at length would befall mee for those grosse sinnes which with greedines I daily committed in so much as sighing I said in my selfe Lord haue mercie vpon mee and send me grace to amend and become a new man But this good motion lasted not long in mee for no sooner had I met with my copesmates but seeing me in such a solemne humour they demaunded the cause of my sadnes to whom when I had discouered that I sorrowed for my wickednesse of life and that the Preachers wordes had taken a deepe impression in my conscience they fell vpon me in ieasting manner calling me Puritane and Presizian and wished I might haue a Pulpit with such other scoffing tearmes that by their foolish perswasion the good and wholesome lesson I had learned went quite out of my remembrance so that I fel againe with the Dog to my olde vomit and put my wicked life in practise and that so throughly as euer I did before Thus although God sent his holy spirit to call mee and though I heard him yet I regarded it no longer than the present time when sodainly forsaking it I went forward obstinately in my misse Neuerthelesse soone after I married a Gentlemans daughter of good account with whom I liued for a while but forasmuch as she would perswade me from my wilfull wickednes after I had a child by her I cast her off hauing spent vp the marriage money which I obtained by her Then left I her at six or seuen who went into Lincolneshire and I to London where in short space I fell into fauor with such as were of honorable and good calling But heere note that though I knew how to get a friend yet I had not the gift or reason how to keepe a friend for hee that was my dearest friend I would bee