be spoken of so unspeakable But having said Cast mee not off from thy presence it may seeme superfluous to say Take not thy holy Spirit from me seeing this of necessity followes upon that for how can Gods holy Spirit be but where hee is himselfe and how can it tarry with mee if I tarry not with him They both indeed grow upon one tree yet are severall fruites Gods presence brings with it a passive influence his holy Spirit an active although therefore O God thou barre mee of thy presence and leave me inglorious yet take not away thy holy Spirit from me to leave me prophane Thy holy Spirit is the sanctifier and wilt thou leave me to impiety and prophanenesse Thy holy Spirit is the Directour and wilt thou leave mee without a Guide in the most dangerous passages of this wicked world Thy holy Spirit is the Comforter and wilt thou leave mee Disconsolate in my manifold miseries If thou take thy holy Spirit from me what spirit will be left mee but a spirit of errour a spirit of uncleannesse a spirit of despaire and canst thou for pitty leave me a prey to such outragious spirits O Lord though my sinnes be as great as Cains yet suffer mee not to despaire like Cain though my sinnes be greater than Sauls yet suffer me not to distrust thee like Saul but as it is a benefit so let it be a pledge of thy presence and of thy holy Spirit that I can pray unto thee for thy presence and for the continuance of thy holy Spirit When I remember the sweet comforts I have sometimes found in the motions of thy holy Spirit and when I thinke of the joy I have conceived of thy salvation Oh how my heart seemes to leape within me and how am I ravished with extasies of delight and now to thinke this comfort should be taken from me this joy should be bereft mee Oh what torment what death what hell can be so grievous But how can God cast mee off from his presence though hee would Is not God every where and am not I somewhere and must I not then be needs where he is and in his presence God indeed hath a presence of Being and this is every where and he hath a presence of Power and this is every where but he hath a presence of Grace and favour and this is not every where His presence of Power is as well in the Ant as in the Elephant yet it maketh not the Ant an Elephant and therefore this is not the presence that I desire his presence of Being is as well in hell as in heaven yet it makes not the hell a heaven and therefore neither is this the presence that I desire but his presence of grace and favour is not as well in the wicked as in the penitent for if it were it would make the wicked penitent and therefore this is the presence which I so much long to keepe which I so much feare to lose But why should I feare least God should cast me off from his presence Is not his delight amongst the children of men and am not I one of that Generation And why should I feare lest hee should take his holy Spirit from mee was it not hee that gave it mee at first and is he one that will give a thing and then take it away againe Yet my sinnes make mee that I cannot but feare for why should hee not cast me out of his sight who hath wrought so much wickednesse in his sight why should he let his holy Spirit stay there where it is so much grieved for what doe my grievous sinnes but grieve it Oh vile sinne of what cause thou art the effect I know not but this I know thou art the cause of most vile effects for thou onely art the cause that God is like to cast me off from his presence thou onely the cause that God is like to take his holy Spirit from me and seeing in Gods presence there is fulnesse of joy for evermore alas in being cast out of his presence what is left mee but the fulnesse of misery for ever more But seeing thou hast not cast me off from thy presence but onely removed thy presence from me because thy pure nature could not endure to stay in a polluted heart yet now that I am new made and that thou hast created a cleane heart within mee Now thou maiest returne and restore to me the comfort of thy presence the joy of thy salvation and by this thou shalt shew thou didst not take it away to keepe it away but to make it more precious in restoring thou shalt shew thou didst not leave mee to forsake mee but to make thy selfe more welcome in returning But though some things are of such condition that we finde their goodnesse more by wanting than by enjoying as sicknesse makes us more sensible of health yet this needed not in the comfort of thy presence seeing of this there can be no satiety and wee can never so well learne to desire thee by wanting thee as we are taught to embrace thee by enjoying thee Although the fuites I make to thee O God be many yet they are all so subordinate to one another that if thou deni'st me one it were as good for me thou should'st deny them all For what good will it doe mee to have a cleanâ— heart created in mee and thy blessed presence removed from me What good to have a right spirit renued and thy holy Spiriâ— to be taken away as if thou should'st supply mee with props and take away foundations The feare of this lest thou should'st cast mee out of thy presence and take thy holy Spirit from mee hath so deeply wrought upon me and brought me so low that I find no Physicke now so necessary for me as a Restorative Oh therefore Restore to mee the joy of thy salvation for this Restorative exceeds not onely all the simples of Nature but all the compounds of art for what Alchermes what Gellies what Aurum potabile can be comparable to this Restorative The joy of thy salvation But had not this beene a fittâ—r sute for Nabuchodonofor from whom God tooke away at once his Sense Reason and his Kingdome than for David from whom God never tooke any thing that wee know of but onely his childe begotten in adultery yet David will hardly be drâ—wne to thinke so for heare the moane be makes Alas O Lord I live now as it were cast out of thy presence which is more to me than for Nabuchodonosor to be cast out of his Kingdome I feede now upon the bread of sorrow which is more to mee than for Nabuchodonosor to feede upon the grasse of the earth I sit now as a Sparrow upon the house top desolate and disconsolate which is more to mee than for Nabuchodonosor to have no compauions but the beasts of the field and yet O Lord onely Restore to mee the joy of thy salvation and it
shall be more to mee than for Nabuchodonosor to be restored to his Sense his Reason his Kingdome againe This joy is to mee as Isaak was to Abraham the whole comfort of my life and thou restored'st him to his Father in great compassion and wilt thou have no compassion on me and not restore my Isaak to me againe O mercifull God take away my goods take away my health take away my life but take not away this joy from mee unlesse thou meane to restore it againe for without this joy my goods will doe mee no good I shall be sicke of my health I shall be weary of my life all joy without this joy is but shadow of joy no solidnesse no substance in it other joyes I can want and yet want no joy but how can I want the joy of thy salvation but I must needes fall into the hell of my owne perdition Indeed all these graces and specially these foure A right Spirit and Gods presence his holy Spirit and the joy of his salvation are all I may say of a covey like Partridges that alwaies keepe together or if at any time parted by violence they never leave calling after one another till they meet againe and thus a right Spirit calls after Gods presence his presence after his holy Spirit his holy Spirit after the joy of his salvation and the joy of his salvation calls after them all O then Restore to me the joy of thy salvation that this covey of thy Graces may be kept together and that the mournefull voyce of calling after one another may no more be heard to disquiet my soule But how can God restore that which hee tooke not away For can I charge God with the taking away the joy of his salvation from mee O gracious God I charge not thee with taking it but my selfe with losing it and such is the miserable condition of us poore wretches that if thou shouldest restore no more to us than what thou takest from us wee should quickly be at a fault in our Estates and our ruine would be as sudden as inevitable But why am I so â—arenest for restoring for what good will restoring doe mee if I cannot keepe it when I have it and how shall I more keepe it being restored than I kept it before being enjoyed and if I so enjoy it as still feare to lose it what joy can there be in such enjoying O therefore Not restore it onely but establish me with thy free Spirit that as by thy restoring I may enjoy it entirely so by thy establishing I may enjoy it securely Indeed if thou shouldst only restore it and then leave it for me to keepe I should presently runne a hazard of losing it againe but when thou restorest it and then confirmest it and that with the seale of thy free Spirit this gives me an indefeasible estate and absolutely frees me from feare of losing it any more for ever Alas my soule what qualmes have these beene what floatings betweene feare and hope all the comfort is that as Hope sets out first and gets the start of Feare so it keepes the field last and gets the goale from Feare For Hope setâ—ing out by Gods renewing a right Spirit and then disturbed by feare lest hee should take away his holy Spirit gets the victory at last by being established with Gods free Spirit for this establishing fixeth our floating and frees us from having these qualmes of feare and hope any more Not that we can ever bee free where they are but that they shall not be where we are not feare because in a Haven not hope because in possession But what mysterie is it that David intends here by his triplicity of Spirits A right Spirit a holy Spirit a free and principall Spirit Are they not all one holy Ghost but divers operations called therefore the right Spirit because it directeth us the holy Spirit because it sanctifieth us the free and principall Spirit because it governes us And thus understood wee may see from whence the Collect in our Liturgie was gathered which saith Direct Sanctifie and governe us in the waies of thy Lawes and in the workes of thy Commandements Or is it that hee makes three sutes for three spirits as intending to every person in the Deity one intimating the second person by the right spirit as being the way and the truth the third person by the holy Spirit as being the Author of sanctification the first person by the free and principall Spirit it being Hee that must say Fiat to all that is done And thus understood we may see from whence is framed that Versicle in our Letanie which saith O Holy Blessed and glorious Trinity three Persons and one God have mercy upon us miserable sinners And now is David Monte potitus gotten up I may say to the toppe of Mount Gerizim after many wearisome and painefull steps Hee was indeed so oppressed with the burden and so fettered with the chaine of his sinnes that he seemed as a man distracted not knowing in the world what course to take yet not willing to be wanting to himselfe he tries all the waies and useth all the meanes hee can possibly devise or thinke of First he prayes God to wash him from his sinnes and lest washing should not be sufficient hee praies next to be purged from his sinnes but not trusting to these outward meanes he thinkes upon a new course and praies to have his sinnes blotted out as much as to have Gods Debt-booke cross'd yet not satisfied with this neither he then flies to inward meanes and praies not onely to have a cleane heart created but a right Spirit renued in him that so he may be Purus corpore spiritu and now one would thinke he were certainely past all danger yet even here he falls into the most dismall frights that ever seized upon a perplexed soule for he feares least God should cast him off from his Presence and lest hee should take his holy Spirit from him most dismall frights indeed yet recovering his spirits he bethinkes himselfe at last of a way that either will serue to make him a free-man or he must never looke to be and that is to bee established with Gods free Spirit and this indeed strikes the stroke and therefore this hee makes his Murus Aheneus for being now established with Gods free Spirit he findes himselfe so free that he thinkes himselfe able to set up a Free-schoole and is confident to say Then will I teach thy waies to the wicked and sinners shall be converted unto thee Then if thou say unme Et tâ— conversus converte sratres I shall doe it both boldly and effectually Boldly for I shall teach thy waies to the wicked who are but unruly schollers and effectually for sinners shall be converted unto thee which is the end of all schooling And then if the Angels give a Plaudite to their conversion I doubt not O God but thou
yet I require thee not to renue them all that I require thee to renue to mee is only a right Spirit for so long as this right spirit remained with mee and was my guide I walked bâ—tore thee in all uprightnesse I durst then say sâ—arch mee O God and try mee Examine my heart and my reynes but as soone as this spirit grew to decay and waxed faint within mee I present ly begun to falter in my steps my iniquities multiplyed so fast that they quickly grew to be mâ—han than the haires of my head every thing was a temptation unto me and every temptation prevailed against mee but now O God Renue a right spirit within mee and this right spirit will sâ—t all right that is amisse in mee because it is a right spirit will renue quicken all that is dead and dull within me because it is all spirit But what more good will a right spirit doe when it is renued than it did before when it was first given If it prospered not at the first planting what assurance of prospering at the second but is it not that a right spirit in a created heart may stand firme though in a made heart it gave ground and failed and specially when it is a right spirit renued seeing renovation is alwaies with addition of strength and no part of a house is commonly so strong as that part is which is newly repaired Secundae cogitationes are sapientiores and secundi conatus are fortiores Though once going about Hiericho did the walls no hurt yet the going about them again and againe made them fall to the ground though one Cocke crowing wrought nothing upon Peter yet the second times crowing made him weepe bitterly Oh then Renue in mee a right spirit O God and the walls of my sinfull Hiericho will fall to the ground the stupour of my dull braines will resolve into teares When sin seeks to enter and to get entertainment with us it makes us believe we shal be like Gods but when it is once entred hath gotten possession it leaves us to finde wee are not so much as fit for Gods company And it seemes as though we were put to our choyce here whether wee will have sinnes company or Gods for both wee cannot have if entertaine sinne then we must take our leave of God if enjoy Gods presence then we must give no entertainment to sinne a hard choice to flesh and blood but a right spirit resolves it presently Cast mee not off from thy presence O God let mee enjoy that and as for sinne I utterly renounce it though it should present it selfe to me in greater pompe than Salomon clothed in all his royalty I had rather live one day in thy courts to enjoy thy presence than to live accounted the sonne of Pharaohs daughter and Methuselahs age in all the pleasures of the world Doe wee see how the presence of the Sunne cheeres up the aire makes glad the earth and enlightens the whole world and can we not see the wonderfull effects of comfort which are wrought in the soule by the presence of God in comparison of whom the Sun is not so much as a moate in the Sunne If it be thy pleasure O God to withdraw thy presence from mee to make mee sensible of my weaknesse yet cast mee not off from thy presence in displeasure to make mee despaire of thy Love If thou wilt needs put a veile upon thy face to keepe mine eyes from seeing thee yet let it be but as the veile upon Moses face to keepe mine eyes from dazeling It is potion bitter enough to be deprived of thy presence though done in never so faire a manner but to be cast out of thy presence as done in anger what is this but to give mee gall and wormewood to drinke If I needes must die let it be upon the top of Nebo where I may see the land of Canaan before mee for there thy presence is to comfort me but let it not be in the valley where there is no representation of thy glorious presence to give me comfort My sinne O God I know is such that may justly make mee to flie from thy presence as it once made Adam when hee hid himselfe from thee yet in this case I may hope thou wilt looke after mee as thou didst then vouchsafe to looke after him but if thou cast me our of thy presence and that it be done by thine owne hand Alas O Lord what hope is there left mee of ever comming into thy presence againe As long as I am in thy presence there is hope I may intreat and thou art apt to be intreated I may fall downe and humble my selfe and thou givest grace to the humble but if it should once come to this that I were cast out of thy presence alas O God! thou wouldst then be quite of sight cleane out of hearing that no intreaty could be heard no humbling be seene either to give mee the comfort of hope or to put me in hope of any comfort If thou O God shouldst cast me off from thy presence whom could I hope to have present with mee The Angells would be my guardians no longer for they would soone take notice of thy displeasure and would never regard whom thou rejectest The Saints would be my Associates no longer for if they found me not in thy presence they would presently know I were none of their society and their communion extends no further And what company then could I hope to have Cain perhaps and Cham the damned crew miserable comforters or rather no comfoâ—rs but augmenters of my misery But yet O God if my sins unexpressable have made thee unexorable and that thou wilt needs cast me off from thy presence at least Take not thy holy Spirit from mee For what were this but to put me out of thy service and then to take away thy Livery too Yet as long as I have thy Livery on it keepes me in credit it gives me countenance it leaves me hope I may be entertained againe as long as thy holy Spirit staies with me I have one to comfort mee one to put me in hope I may be received into favour againe in no worse case than Pharaohs Butler was who in disgrace for a time was afterward restored to his former place but if thou take thy Livery from me if thou take thy holy Spirit from me Alas O Lord I am then utterly undone none left to comfort me none to speake for mee in as ill a case as Pharaohs Baker nothing left me to hope in but a dreame and that dreame nothing but of white Baskets out of which the Birdes shall eate but nothing that is good for mee to taste If thy holy Spirit should of himselfe depart from me it would be a parting exceeding grievous unto me but for thee O God to take him from me where the manner of losing is as much as the losse what griefe can