would then give if she had been in hast and gone by any poor people and saw they did not beg she would send her servant sometimes with something to them whilst she kept on her way She would not walk London streets long but one or other would come to her begging for an almes and she would ask her servant if he knew them to be common beggers if he thought no she would be sure to give At Lectures if she saw any that were old or in poor habit attending the word then she would be sure to give them In cold seasons when it was hard with poor people she would be alwaies a speaking of the sufferings of the poor that had no fire or scarce any bread much sympathizing with them asking her servant if he knew any that it went hard with that she might relieve them sending her benevolence her charity was so well known that seldome a day if at home but she had petitions from one or other for the same many under the notion of distressed Ministers because they knew they should receive the greater almes and that they might be sure not to misse of the same they would get a testimoniall of their godly lives sufferings and necessitys with the names of some godly Ministers she knew or had heard of and then hath she given the more when she thought their condition real but give it so privately her self as none should know how much but the receivers None that came with petitions did go away without almes unlesse she had known they had come the second time having bin relieved before many a time have her servants gone up to her chamber or when she was at dinner with a paper or petition they knowing when best to find her at home she would ask them if they knew them fit objects of charity but let the answer be I or no she would send them down something if she could not go down her self saying she would rather give to them that had no need then send one empty away that had sending them down word if they had counterfeited other mens names they would very much wrong themselves as sometimes we could perceive they abused her charity and grew so subtile that they would indite Letters punctually to her by name they having their almes according to their demerit Her charity was exceeding much amongst all the poor people at Hawkherst in Kent where her house was where she was many summers since she used to be in London the winters they have all cause to remember how many have had relief at her door Seldom a Lords day but eighteen had relief there she would exhort those poor to serve God and ask them if they had been at Church those dayes and if they had not they should have nothing which caused some of them to go the oftner for they would be sure to tell one of another and not a day in the week but many of them came and had relief at noon and at nights Sir more I could relate but Mr. Case spake of them in his Sermon and therefore shall proceed no further in these particulars wherein also it may be well said She exceeded many daughters that have done virtuously It pleased the Lord to fill her concluding days with many troubles and abundance of businesse it was wonderfull the trouble and the many businesses she had and how chearfully she went through them and how eminently the Lord appeared to be with her in carrying her through all and making whatsoever she took in hand to prosper Since she came out of the country last she scarce had any time to visit her friends this winter which I never knew before but spending her time much with God Indeed her life was a continual motion never idle in the least either in her closet or with her family in performing religious dutys or reading or writing or going to Lectures and fasts or giving instructions concerning houshold affaires she being now house-keepper in London also as well as in the Countrey to ease the Lady her Mother in her ancient years which she did never before in London though alwaies in the Countrey till this last winter O what a losse hath her friends yea what a losse hath the Church of God and hundreds of poor people whose bowels she refreshed But now she is gone before where her soul long desired to be The Lord help us to make after and not to wish for her again or that she had not dyed Why should we be so foolish it will not avail and why so sinfull and so impudent as to contradict God he saw it best to remove her hence and why should we wish her back again she is triumphing in heaven over the world sinne and Satan singing Alleluja unto Him that sitteth on the Throne and unto the Lamb for ever and ever She is among the spirits of just men made perfect and the innumerable company of holy angels and with the great God the judge of all and with the blessed Jesus the Mediator of the new Covenant and with the holy Ghost the Comforter in the large fruition of the beatificall vision where is fulnesse of joy and pleasures for evermore and why should I wish her from such glorious company and transcendent blisse as never eye hath seen nor ear heard neither hath entered into the heart of man to which mercy 's the Lord in his due time bring us by the merits of his dear Son and our Saviour Jesus Christ Sir These six Heads which I have here sent you are what my friend writ who hath known her many years Yours affectionately to serve you in Christ NICOLAS THOROWGOOD FINIS Errata Pag. 79. lin 19. for Landherst r. Sandherst p. 118. l. 12. dele comma after shop
she her self would pray with her family once I coming home late unknown to her heard her and she prayed to my very great admiration and satisfaction Twice in the family morning and evening not onely prayers were but something of the word and singing part of a Psalm On the Lords day at noon singing and praying with the family besides morning duries and evening reperitions of the Sermons together with singing of a Psalm and Praying A true sanctifier and spirituall observer of the Lords dayes she was and dared not to speak of any worldly civil though at other times lawful things and oft bewailed the too much liberty many professors take on those days marvailing their consciences were so benummed concerning that Commandment more than others that they could talk of such civil and worldly things then without remorse not considering that Commandement is broken in words thoughts as well as others especially when that place in Isa 58.13 is so expresse against it Not doing thine own wayes nor finding thine own pleasure nor SPEAKING THINE OWNE WORDS viz. upon the Sabbath dayes Besides her privare duties in the family she was very much in secret duties by her self daily her usuall manner was as I have been certainly informed In the mornings as soon as she was up to go into her closet a little while by her self and then went to the performing of spirituall duties together with the family after they were done then she retired into her chamber by her self and read the Bible in order reading and meditating about one hour and then went into her closet afterwards a pretry while Before supper she used to go into her chamber and closet some competent time yea though late when she was necessarily detained abroad before she came home after duties performed in the family at nights when the rest were gone to bed she would walk about half an hour meditating in her chamber and reasoning out any distemper that was upon her spirit to find out the cause thereof and to remove it saying so her heart was brought into frame again and not before Then she went into her closet about three quarters of an hour and this every day She never went abroad but she went first into her closet for some while to prayer and so she did again upon her returnings home On the Lords days at noon after duty done in the family she would retire by herself til they went to the publick worship againe upon the week dayes she would much complaine she was so straitned for time desiring more to speed in secret by her self She was a be lever that had not onely the graces of the Spirit but the sealings and the joyes of the Spirit in her She had much assurance even to the riches of it She knew she was of God and Christ was her Redeemer having loved her and given himself for her and that the Covenant of Grace with all the promises and mercies therein contained and Ordinances were hers And therefore in all places where Providence cast her would she partake of all the Ordinances and not infringe her Christian right and liberty as being tied to one particulat place or people onely living without the Sacrament till she came there againe though ordinarily she looked upon her self as a member of that Church where her usuall dwelling was She was filled with joy and walked in the comforts of the holy Ghost she was of a very chearfull Spirit and grace did carry it on very graciously and spiritually she had much communion with God in all the means of grace the Lord made her joyfull in the duties of prayer the Word was the savour of life unto life unto her and the rejoycing of her heart Exceeding incomes she had at the Table of the Lord there she sat under Christs shadow with great delight and his banner over her was love and his fruit was very sweet unto her taste whilst the King sat at his table with her her spiknard did usually send forth the smell thereof The Lord did grearly blesse that Ordinance of his Supper unto her she said she could ferch from the Lord there any mercy she wanted direction in straights support and comfort in disturbances power against sin and Satan grace to carry her on in the wayes of God c. Much refreshing she had in singing of Psalms she had many and particular returns of prayers from God which she much looked up to him for after she had directed them unto him and took speciall notice of his gracious answers and improved them with thankfulness to his glory She was of very excellent naturall parts full of wisdome and prudence as appeared also in the well managing of her many and weighty affaires and did greatly abound in the knowledge of Divine Mysteries contained in the Scriptures Much weaned from and crucified to the world Whilst her Father Sir Mathew Howland her Unkle Sir John Howland lived she would say foreseeing the same as being their onely heir she was afraid of too much of the world coming to her Never any use or increase would she take for any money 's she lent though to a very considerable summe and time and left under her own hand that her children should take none also for the same after her in case she died before the principall was paid in Her good works and charity not only Hawkherst but Holburn also and other parts can testifie as your self well know and can amply relate Her good works extended not only to her own Nation but also to the Hungarian Scholers who come so far to partake of our practicall Divinity counting her self a Member of the same universal Body with them For divers years often would she have one of them time after time with her whilst in the Countrey and now did take care of one this Winter at one of her sons till next Summer she thought to come again and retake him into her Family Their Land have divers already returned into it that have caused her piety and liberality to sound amongst them there She disdained not to visit any of her poorest neighbours and did love to do it to raise up pity in her towards wards them and thankfulnesse to God for her self who had made the difference Neither did she refuse to do the meanest offices of love for the good of them and theirs Her artire your self knowes how grave and modest it was as also her Daughters without nakednesse or unseemlinesse The gracions Providences of God were exceeding many and very great and remarkable towards her wherein she saw much of her Fathers care and goodnesse which she took special notice of and was abundantly thankful for and endeavoured to improve them answerably to his Glory as appears in her Diary where she hath kept an account of them and also of her waies towards her God as there she often calls him She was like that vertuous woman your Text spake of in her carriages in and toward
both are to be understood comparatively and alas it holds too true in both Sexes the number of the truly good is but very small and inconfiderable compared with the vile vitious whether of men or women The bad are like pebble stones upon the Sea shore you cannot stir a foot but ye stumble upon them but the good are like precious stones Rubies and Diamonds of great value and rarely to be found the Merchant that will find them must travell far for them To which sad truth the Apostle beareth witness 1 Cor. 1.26 Not many wise nor many mighty not many noble c. Blessed be God he doth not say no any wise not any mighty some there be which though but a little flock compaâ—ed wâ—th the Droves and Herds which the Divel carrieth headâ—ong into the Sea of perdition yet considered in themselve they are not a contempt ible number Revel 7. from the 4th verse to the 8 9 10â—h But then again amongsâ— these many there is here and there a rare one to be found a pearle of great price many good and some one excellent a paragon a None-such in heâ— place and age To whom it may be said Thou excellesâ— them all The Words thus opened and cleared will affords uâ— these Observations 1. Obser All the Members of the Crurch are not of the same preciousness and influence there be severall sizes of Christians 2. God takes notice of the least grace and goodness that is in any grace in what degree soever it is if it betrue God will not overlook it 3. The great honour and praise of a Christian is to be excellent in their generations Or Excellency in grace and goodness is that which is of great price in the sight of God God doth set a special note of approbation upon it thou excellest them all All the Members of the Church are not of the same size in grace Doct. 1. In this firmament of the Church it is as in the Firmament of the â—eavens one Star differeth from another in glory 1 Cor. 15.41 all Stars are not of the same light and influence some there be of the first some of the second magnitude others that are of a common dimension and influence so is the resurrection of the dead Ver. 42. this here in grace and that hereafter in glory In the Houshold of Faith all the Members be not oâ— the same Age and Office There be some Babeâ— in Christ Babes iâ— Knowledge and Babeâ— in grace weake anâ— tender Christans thaâ— have little more theâ— the very being of spirirituall life in them 1 Joh. 2.12 13 14. only enough to denominate them Saints anâ— Children of God Some there be younâ— men strong actâ—ve Christians strong to overcome the Divel in all his temptations and active in their generations able to doe much work for Jesus Christ and the Gospel And then there be Fathers in the Church Christians of much experience in the mystery of the Kingdom of God Christians of great acquaintance with God and communion with God who can say with the Apostle 1 Joh. 1.3 Truly our Communion is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ Amongst the Worthies of Dâ—vid all did not attain the saâ—e fame and enown with the fiâ—st three c. Well Let not the weake Christian envy the strong Vse nor the strong despise the weake but see God and admire God in the severall gifts and graces of his Spirit So it must be in the Church of God But secondly Observe Doct. 2. God takes notice of the least good that is in any Grace in what ever degree if it be true is not rejected by Jesus Christ The bruised Reed he will not breake and the smonking Flax he will not quenâ—h what is weaker then a bâ—uised reed behold while it was whole it was fit for little service but when it is bruised it is good for nothing you cannot make a pin of it to hang a vessel on what is more useless then smoaking flax singed and scorched with the fire and ready to breake out into a flame ye cannot make a thread of it fit for any work Yet that grace which in the sence and feeling of a Christian a Christian that is poore in spirit is of no more consideration then such smoaking flax and such a bruised reed behold Jesus Christ will be so farre from quenching of the one and breaking the other that he will bring it forth into victory weake grace shall at length get the conquest of strong corruption It is very observable in the seven Churches of Asia Rev. 2. and 3. Chaâ—t there 's not any thing that was good in any of them but Jesus Christ takes special notice of it I know thy labour and thy patience Rev. chap. 2.2 3. and thou canst not bear with them which are evil c. The Church of Smyâ—na verse 9. I know thy works and tribulation and poverty but thou art rich Pergamus verse 1â— Thou holdâ—st fast my Name and hast not denyed my Faith though thou dwellest where Satan hath his seate Thyatyra verse 19. Thy works and charity and service and faith and patience and againe thy works I and thy last to be more then the first Sardis hath a few Names and Philadelphia a little strength Chap. 3.4 verse 8. c. There was not the least good in any of the Churches though intermixt with much â—in and corruption but it is taken notice of and recorded in the Register of Gods remembrance is mentioned to their honour praise only there was proud conceited Laodicea that had nothing but an high oopinion of her self ver 16. and she stands with a brand upon her forehead instead of a Crown upon her head Luke-warm In wicked Jeroboams family there was but one poore childe that had some good in him and that but very little yet that is taken notice of and an asterism set upon it In him was found some good thing toward the Lord God of Israel Therefore 1 Kin. 14.13 c. Here the Daughters that had done vertuously are upon Record though they came not up to the character of tâ— excellent woman As all that helped to râ—paire the wall of Jerusaleâ— had not a like share in tâ— work yet all their namâ— are upon the file their laboâ—â— of love is registred and râ—ported to succeeding genrations The Ground or Reasonâ— this Observation is this Ground sâ— Because true grace thougâ— never so small is the a Phil. 2.13 woâ—â— of God yea the b Eph. 4.24 Image God a c 2 Pet. 1.4 beam of the Diviâ— Nature and God will nâ— despise the work of his oâ—â— hands God will own eveâ— one that is called by his Naâ—â— why for I have created hiâ— for my glory I have formâ— him yea I have made him God knows how to distiâ—guish Isa 43.7 between the Gold and the dross between a want
I might give God the glory of his free grace and faithfullnesse and that my sinnes might be pardoned and mortified and that I may be sanctified and made holy by him redeemed from all iniquity and vain conversation and made a peculiar servant of his zealous of good works that I may honour him in bearing forth much fruit and be fully acted by his spirit and grace for the glory of his name in all things that Jesus Christ may see the travail of his soul in me as much as I am capable so long as I have a being that I may admire free grace God hath given me Jesus Christ by faith oftentimes in Sacraments Word and Prayer and Meditation by the conduit pipes of his Ordinances And I live by Jesus Christ because his Spirit liveth in me in some measure convincing guiding and councelling of me And my desire is to honour him as much as I am capable for ever in his life and strength and spirit Thus farre Mrs. Scot had proceeded in the said Book when the Lord took her from recollecting and improving his gracious experiences to her here to the immediate and perfect enjoyments of himself above Other Writings that Mrs. Scot hath left concerning Gods goodnesse to her ABout the middle of April 1645. there was the second rising in Kent and I was grievously perplexed thinking my husband jewels goods and all I had and my life should have then by the risers been taken from me and I was in exceeding fear and dishonoured God by over much weeping and sorrowing before others but that night I heard the Risers were suppressed then I had much joy and resolved through Gods strength that my heart should be weaned from the world which before I lookt for much help from but I found none I saw it was empty then resolved I also to leave resting upon it and to spend my life and strength and meanes of grace to the uttermost advantage of Gods glory and my souls eternall good and never to sin away any opportunity of doing good and service for his glory Thus did I see that this great straight and dark Providence of the Lord wrought abundantly for my good Two days after I did in private by my self keep a day of fast and had some grief for my own sin and others and had some comfort in Gods acceptance though I was much wanting in the performance of the same After my fast day there was a publick day of thanksgiving for that mercy of subduing the Risers my spirit was much sadded that my heart was no more in frame suitable to the said day that I did no more rejoyce in God in it Afterward I had sweet assurance of Gods eternall love and saw much vanity and emptinesse in all earthly things and desired to order my conversation aright Again I kept another private day of fast by my self and though much distempered yet had some hopes of acceptance I kept another day of private fast by my self to seek to God for more grace to honour him and that God would do also the same in my husband that he might honour God In August 1647. a little after my husband died my heart was exceedingly out of frame but a Sabbath day at night the Lord came sweetly to me in perswading me to trust in him from what he had done So I had sweet assurance of his Eternal love through Christ at prayer and the pardon of all my sinnes and gave my self to him to do with me what he would and so the temptation and those thoughts went away and I had sweet peace Afterward we kept a fast in the family to humble our selves for the breach in the death of my husband and then I had great desires to honour God in my place and gave up my self to God and had peace and afterward sweet assurance that I was his This Sacrament at Hawkherst I was not prepared as I ought to have been the day before I lost my frame of grace exceedingly by my unsensibleness of Irelands misery and being merry when I should have sorrowed and on the Lords day morning before I went to the Sacrament I had a grievous temptation as if I might live without ordinances and as if there were no necessity of them O this deaded my heart to the duty yet my faith fought with it and brought me to the Lords supper where I received Christ and gave my self to him and found sweet comfort and strength from Christ in his Ordinance and I do resolve in Christs strength to walk holily and closely with God all my dayes to his honour and to cleave close to Christ in all his Ordinances whilst I can enjoy them Being reproved by one my heart did greatly rise and I found I was not willing to submit to Gods will and wayes in all things but I had a great combate and was resolved to submit to God in all and saw more of my heart and the world then ever and I had sweet influence from God and shinings of his face in prayer The next Lords day after I had received the Sacrament I went to the Sacrament again my Lord having by a providence provided another feast for me knowing my necessities and I did sit under Christs shadow and did receive his body and bloud by faith Another Sacrament at evening I had very sweet fruits and effects of Christ in me Another Sacrament afterward I was much failing and wanting in doing my duty and acting my grace but God gave me Christ in free grace and I desire to live by faith upon him to him and his glory giving my self to the Lord to be his and not mine own and desire to live on Christ as my portion and strength In January 1650. Mrs. Scot began another of the sweet experiences writes she my God hath given me of his faithfull performances of his Word and Promise to me In January 1650. The Lord sweetly told me in the Ministery of his Word out of the fourth Chapter of the Ephesians the eighth Verse how Christ had led captivity captive in me and for me in some measure the same day an occasion there was that caused my corruptions much to arise but my God according to his Word did lead that captivity captive and at night God gave me sweet comings in of himself into my sould and sweet assurance and some experience of the true real work of Grace in me how God made the risings of sinne the ruine of sin in me by Christ The Lord gave me very sweet experience of his power in preserving me when two in my family had the small pox and three the measels according to his word in Psal 91.7 It shall not come nigh thee O never distrust thy God more After this God did shew me in some measure the cursed vileness of my nature and suffered that bitter root of blasphemy to rise up in my heart and God did this to punish me for my vain and sinfull thoughts