they may pierce our body but cannot run thorow our souls to the destroying of our life which is hid with Christ in God who is our Head which shall never perish and you know that member can never fear drowning whose head is still above water Whilst Peters Faith was anchored in Christ the Rock of his Salvation the water to sence did so far give back that they miraculously became a solid path to lead him to his Lord so I hope our late as well as former troubles will tend to lead us neerer to our desired haven of rest for certainly all the waters of affliction are to those whose faith is exercised in their God but a short Compendious way to Communion and fellowship with the Father and the Son in the Spirit which is best of all better then life as David said who had as we have fresh troubles often and fresh mercies fresh Temptations and fresh deliverances what said good David when he had deviated and gone astray like a lost sheep Before I was afflicted I went astray but now have I kept thy Word Here he sweetly acknowledges tribulations to be messengers sent from God to lead him to the Shepherd of his soul said he Now have I kept thy word now do I know by this thy sanctified visitation of a truth that I am thine before I was a lost sheep of the house of Israel All our afflictions inward and outward in our selves or in the world 't will appear to be onely but the corrections of an indulgent Father for our profit in the end to make us rich in God though poor in our selves In the mean time the good Lord endue us with Power from on High whereby we may possess our souls with Patience till the time of refreshing from on High shall Visit us till he who changes times and seasons changes hearts and conditions with us Truly if the Poor Creature could change or any ways help it self or have any reliefe or help from any broken reed or cisterne besides the Lord the living Fountain how would it do as Israel of old did run from God to them adoring it self and Idolizing the creature men and means more then admiring the Lord in them above them Truly our natures are too apt to this for let the Lord but open a little of himself to us in any thing or way we are Readyer to be taken with it then him like some who looke more at the Dish then the Meate in it How apt let experience speake are we to take up our rest in something below our rest and not look up higher to the Fountain from whence all our fresh springs of comfort floweth therefore our God seeing this not good for us in wisdom and love dries up all Cisternes and Pools when it 's thus with us that nothing we run to the creature for in need may yeild us satisfaction below himself lest We should rob him of his glory and give it to something below himself which is not worthy of our heart-love and his jealousie is such that he will not give his glory to another nor his praise to any thing or Idol but himself To this end therefore he imbitters every thing in the world to us to wean us from her shadowy delights like loving mothers who wean their children from the brest which is so sweet and dear to them even thus as I may say doth God our loving Father with his beloved children make every thing vile to them that he alone may be the preciousness of his Saints and all things nothing in comparison that he alone may be their All in all above all their onely boast and glory Before this glorious discovery of love I was like another creature running like Israel of old from Mountain to Hill and Hill to Mountain from men to meanes from means to men I was like the Spouse restless in my spirit which made me to send my spiritual senses all abroad to seek Christ as I thought but truely I found him not in any thing or place save in denying me that soul-comfort which I sought for all my seeking was like Maries at the Sepulchre forsaking all things for him as I thought whom if I could but have found in my way and time I should have thought I had found enough being led forth to seek The true God in an Ignorant way being blinded with Ignorance I asked every thing below him sensitive things I asked the Earth the Sea and the great Deeps and the Windy Aire with the Dwellers therein also the Sun Moon and Stars lesser and greater knowing and unknowing creatures and I found they all answered me with one voyce We be not thy God seek him O seeker above us Thou art but deceived in us we are onely by him made and upheld he is Lord over us this was without Then I went home and said to all that were about the doors of my flesh Tell ye my familiars what ye know of God O tell me somewhat of him whom my soul longeth after and they cryed out also to me We be not thy God it 's he hath made us not we our selves Notwithstanding all these denyals being soul-restless still I asked further even the whole world in general if it were not my Saviour and could deliver me from the bondage of corruption and it answered me very powerfully I am not but I am by him he whom thou seekest for in me even he made me above me must thou seek to him that made me and ruleth all things to new make thee Being as you may perceive Sir a wandering bird and soul-disquieted within me I sought to every Idol which I made an Idol below the true God for soul-rest peace of conscience and joy in the Holy Ghost but like Noahs dove found this not in any thing to refresh my weary soul Now I finde that though every thing be beautiful in its season place and station yet in this respect it must deny it self and be nothing as it did to me and acknowledg this is not to be had in any created glory on this side the Creator himself Every thing spoke the same to me in this We be not the Lord thou lookest for but from him and by him for his glory I have found the Apostles words true that many times we may understand him by his visible works in the creation of the world In my former Creaturely seeking of the Lord as I have a little mentioned I found a vast emptyness in all things but when God was pleased to shew me this he turn'd me to himself and then gave me rest and satisfaction in his love which is better then life whereby my hungry thirsty spirituall starved soul was satisfied with that fulness that fills empty nothings with good things O it 's the sweet incomes of this Divine fulness that makes The dry land a Pool and our thirsty lands springs of Water O when the Lord shall thus appear to us shewing us by
them with the graces of his Spirit and cloathed them with the Glistering Spangles of his Holyness the Angels Glory and cull and chuse them from the common part of Gods earth to be the chiefe or precious part of his earth his choice Golden Mine his peculiar treasure O may we not say who have but seen heard or tasted ever so little a glimpse of this free rich grace and precious love of God what O what shall we render unto the Lord for these unspeakable special mercies for certainly God looks for some returne of his own from us he looks for some thing present from us as we do present and future from him He looks we should live answerable to our enjoyments and hopes Says Peter What manner of persons ought we professors to be in practice in all holy conversation O how excellent a thing is it to see all the Saints adorne the Gospell of Christ in walking as well as talking Noah is recorded for a walker with God O to walk holy as Christ did when he was upon earth in the days of his flesh is excellent we know his life was a life of Sanctity an holy life for said he Which of you convinceth me of sin and he who had no sin nor guile found in his mouth nay more the Devil confest him the Holy one of God O what a precious life was this holy life as Christ walked holy so humble O that all Saints might walk in humility as their Lord and Head did who though he were Lord and Heir of all yet he washed his Disciples feet and humbled himself to death even the death of the cross The humble soul looks likest Christ humility is the veile of Christs Bride O how beautifull doth she look in Christs eye when this veile of Rebekkah is upon her be ye cloathed with humility saith God to us As this veile hides anothers faults so it s own graces as Rebekkah did her beauty true grace you know shines most irradiant through the mask of humility O what are all Christian duties without heavenly humility Incense smels most sweet when beaten small then it sends forth its fragrant perfume As Divine humility studies Gods goodness so it s own unworthiness Better is that sin which thorowly humbles the soul like David then that duty which lifts up Pharisee-like In this the grace of humility is precious it gives all to God as Joab when he had gotten the Victory sent for King David to carry away the Crown of it so a believer when he or she hath gotten Victory over some corruption or temptation then they set the Crown upon Christs head and say with David By my God I have leaped over a Wall and if they finde strength to go thorow duties then they with Paul write Christ and free grace upon all I laboured more a bundantly then them all yet not I but the grace of God in me To walk in love and amity as Christ did to the glory of God is very desireable he breathed forth nothing but love he was full of this perfume as his person was lovely so was his disposition he was composed all of love he was so full of love within that it broke forth without his lips dropped honey his hands Myrrhe his sides blood his heart Love love O how ought all Saints who look for glorious things to come to live in love as Christ did upon earth O that this sweet spice might send out its fragrant smell more among Christians that all things by them might be done in love We know saith John we who live in love and amity That we are passed from death to life surely none can love the Person of Christ really but they will love his Picture though very contemptible to the world O how might the Saints highly honor God if they were more united in love and quite dispossessed of these two evil spirits that of self-conceitedness or vain glory and uncharitableness O why should this be why should not we love as brethren have we not all one Father indeed that is a blessed strife when the Saints contend for the faith this consists in unity O it 's good indeed when simply out of love the Saints shall be willing to suffer patiently for Christ as he did with a Lamb-like spirit considering all our many and great sufferings are but one dram to his To think of Christs sufferings and of his faithfull ones Davids Jobs Jeremiahs Sions and many others that we are not alone in troubles sorrows and sufferings hath administred much comfort to me under all our sad changes The Lord give us to submit and subscribe more to our Gods will in all troubles and changes that we may swim in the laver of his Love Glorifying Him in the fires Sir having these scattered Meditations upon my spirit at present I was moved to communicate them to you by way of writing being deprived of another oportunity I hope you will accept my poor mite out of my scanty store into you full treasury with love as I have done yours formerly in your lines I remember a saying of yours which stirred me up a little to this communicating you said As the rich ones of the World Visit one another opening their treasures to each other so much more should the Saints declare the goodness of God to each other Fearing my many lines at present may weary you and being somewhat weak in body through sharp exercises I shall now leave you with all Saints in the Everlasting imbraces of our dear Lord Jesus whose delight is to make his beloved the bosom of his rest the bed of Spices whose precious graces doth perfume all our tribulations thorow which we enter into the Kingdom and this love of the Lord also makes the world and evil of it a sweet savour of good Peace and rest to us in the end The good Lord cause us more to indulge and honor the spirit of these graces above them for the sweet incomes of them this will demonstrate to the world that We injoy more Within then we make sound of Without which my spirit covets after and live not onely in the form but in the Power of Godliness and so cannot be led away with the Error of the wicked or fall from our own stedfastness but grow in grace and in the pure perfect knowledge of our dear God alone Now the God of love and peace be with ye making ye perfect in every good work of faith and love working in you and all Saints and us that which is well pleasing in his sight causing us all to walk as Angels among Men as the Powers and glory of Heaven upon Earth like the children of the day in practice as burning and shining lights in this dark world As the Saints believing heart and undaunted spirit is their glory before God so is their unspotted life their holy walking their Glory before men for when they see their good work they will glorifie their God Sir having no further freedom to write more to you now I shall take leave and rest Remaining Your engaged friend to love and serve you as a member of Christ an heire of Heaven and one anointed of the Father SARAH WIGHT An empty nothing whose fulness is all in that Fountain that filleth all in all I am unskilled in Apologies and excellent expressions and if I were not I had not whereof to glory of the excellency of mans wisdom Sir my dear mother is still tossed with many tempests of temptations but the Lord graciously supports her and gives her a little hopes sometimes of a gracious Issue The Lord cast her into your heart to beg patience for her to wait silently for a fresh manifestation of the Lords love to her sad soul that she may with joyfull lips set forth his praise she sees so much evil in her and no good which makes her often doubt whether it will go well with her in the end and I tell her this is a token for good for the more vile in our own eyes the more precious in the sight of the Lord this is a terrible sight to flesh and blood To see our selves as we are and God as he is Sir your kind acceptance of my former lines encouraged me to present these to your view at your leysure in spare hours Sir I desire you to give my cordial respects to Mr. T. though unknown by face with thanks for his Christian care and love to us in an unthought-of way it 's not he but the Lord in him and by him who will not leave a cup of cold water unrewarded to him and you and all his FINIS
A Wonderful Pleasant and Profitable LETTER Written by Mris SARAH WIGHT To a Friend EXPRESSING The joy is to be had in God IN Great Deep Long and Sore AFFLICTIONS Occasioned by the Death of her Brother the Troubles of her Mother but especially the workings of God in her own heart Published for the Use of the AFFLICTED LONDON Printed by James Cottrel for Ri. Moone at the seven Stars in Pauls Church-yard 1656. To the Right Honourable The Lady FLEETWOOD Madam I So esteem you upon the account especially of God not this World that passeth away I am bold to present this little piece not mine own to your view as suitable in some sort to your former and present state having drank in a degree as of the same Cup of inward sorrow and suffering so likewise of joy and salvation herein mentioned it being the portion of all as saith the Head of all Ye shall indeed drink of the Cup that I drink of Your Ladiships Sympathy together with your Dear and Noble Lord's with the afflicted of all sorts as I have largely and multitudes of others I believe found and this Author I suppose in particular hath occasioned this presented for a looking-Glass of solace and delight to your inward Man by Your Ladiships humbly devoted to GOD on your behalf R. B. Some Apology to Mrs. Sarah Wight Touching the printing of her Letter without her knowledge or consent Chosen of God in affliction and precious HAVing sundry times read over your Letter and found in it what my heart longed after and in God rejoyced greatly in I judged with others in the Light of him the printing of it might be of exceeding use especially now to the many bewildernessed ones to whom it might serve as a VVitness they having none left them as to Man in this cloudy and dark day to lean upon save only their dearly beloved Lord and he neither not alwayes manifest and yet manifest too in a measure in the true and alone Messiah in them the Rock of Ages and the onely Hope This I have done without consulting you about it it being judged by others your Friends and by me also it might have prevented the publishing it through a temptation perhaps of modesty in you but thus making you publick was I know divinely urged of God in many as in order to his own immortal glory and praise appearing in your most most low estate so to the profit and consolation of many the like minded but especially the like afflicted in any degree with you among whom I leave you and my self with you bowing continually as is most meet at the feet of God most holy Amen A Wonderful Pleasant and Profitable LETTER Dear Sir PRecious Christian friend much beloved in the Lord of all love in him I kindly salute you wishing you and your dear Relation with my self and all Saints an heavenly increase of knowledge in the mystery of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ not doubting but as ye have received some of the Spirit so you enjoy daily fresh supplies and at last shall be perfected in the Spirit to the glory of God who hath formed you to shew forth his noble praise Sir in our winter-season of affliction I finde it a Christians crown of rejoycing to retire in the Spirit to hear what God speaks for none speaks or teaches like him never man spake like Christ In this retirement of spirit or silent waiting upon God we shall be able to see and say with the Prophet David that God is good of a truth to his purified sincere single-hearted Israelites in the midst of all troubles under Pharaohs bondage at the Red-sea in the wilderness in the firy furnace doing them unexpected good at all times he is a present help to us and an Ark or hiding-place for us from all storms and tempests I finde there is no condition so sad but there is balm enough in Gilead sutable comfort of supplies in Israels God to revive and raise up a fainting spirit The depths of misery we finde are never beyond the depthless depths of mercies When the Lord is pleased to make bare his holy Arm for the deliverance of his people out of troubles he first lays them very lowe that his work may be more admirable he many times for this very end strips us naked and bare and deprives us of all helps and props belowe that we may thereby learn to make the Lord alone our stay and trust who stiles himself A God that comforteth those that are cast down poor helpless nothings this is the very time a soul may expect great appearances and deliverances from God when its help stands onely in the Name of the Lord. That soul that findes a special presence of God with it in trouble as the children in the firy furnace hath ample cause to bless his Name This gracious presence hath been much with us in moderating the measure of our cross though not in taking it away which I desire to wait the Lords time for in praising him who hath not hitherto suffered it to be above our strength As he moderates the measure so the time it 's but a moment of affliction and light in comparison of the greatness and weightiness of the glory in eternity O what cause have we to bless the Lord who limits both measure and time and is also present in mixing some comfortable Cordial which sweetly allays the bitterness of our heavie crosses and strengthens us to bear it patiently in some measure As the Lord is present in sanctifying a cross so when he hath perfected his noble work in us he will be a present and perfect deliverer of us O what a comfort is it to know we dwell in the especial love of God under the cross as those who are free from it And though a Saint may be cast out of a happie state in the world yet never never out of their dear God's favour O what joy doth this administer to us to know That however it goeth with us yet our Father will deal kindly with us and continually accompany us with his presence seasoning our hearts with grace and mounting our spirits high carrying them forth with pure respects to advance his glory The true-divine soul you know is never satisfied till it 's as neer God as is attainable Truly the nearer we come to him the more we are emptied of sin and all selfishness A Christian's happiness lies in being emptied of all self self refined as well as gross self and in being filled with a full God and the glorious emptying satisfying incomes of his free spirit Certainly that soul that denies it self most seeks it self most for the more it endeavours to advance the Lord in all above all enjoyments experiences gifts graces relations or any creature or creature-comforts the more we exalt our condition in him It 's sweet and but meet upon the revelation of any mercy to yeeld our God all the praise saying Lord as
worthyness in me Justifying me or any unworthyness condemning me O how admirable is it for to find God thus freely and fully loving and saving his poor people and owning all that is his as he hath been and appeared in them and causing all that hath been and sprung from us to pass away for evermore My soul shouts forth with the true spiritualized Christian this voice Dear God as I am a selfish corrupt creature so let there be no profit of all my labor and travel but thou who alone art the Author of every good and perfect gift we enjoy do thou reap the travels of thy soul for its high time for thee to enjoy thy own for my part I cannot but turne from all the fruitless works of my hands all the motions and delights of my Spirit in the inward world of my heart and with as much irksomness and great tiredness of spirit as ever Solomon did in the outward world yet I know every thing is beautiful in its season time and place though nothing is lovely out of it there is a beauty in living when the spring of life is come O how lovely is it thee is also a beauty in death when that season is come it 's as beautyful to see things in Winter as to see them live in the Spring of Summer there is nothing so deformed but when we look upon God in it we see much beauty written in it nor nothing so evil but it hath good on it there is nothing so bad but it 's good in its own order place and season and course nor nothing so good but it 's bad and uncomely out of its place order and season There is a beauty in killing healing weeping in Rejoycing and triumphing but this beauty shines not so glorious out of their seasons as it doth in There is the very nature and exellency of God in every thing that he doth which makes it beautyful for every thing that springs from him savours and tastes of his life and perfection The outward and inward man hath but a poor lowe dark shallow knowledge of the things of God whatever they may pretend to have There is no soul able of it self to reach these things they are onely spiritually discerned and known by the sight of the Spirit it 's by this Spirit onely that the soul comes to know observe and understand the ways and wonders of God in the deeps and his various motions and operations in things which he doth There is nothing seen in the Root by the sense of the creature as it lies or springs from thence or as it returns thither Man as man you know hath onely a brutish understanding of every thing so of God I had not says one the understanding of a Beast as of God himself so of all his motions thoughts actions and intentions in and about things times places and persons seeing onely a present appearance of this or that not knowing what it is whence it came what it means or whither it tends So he judges according to a present outward appearance and shews himself to be what he is and what God will have him to be A fool in himself that the pride of his glory may be stained and God alone exalted Though this be a dark obscure dispensation yet because God will have it so with us this is beautiful in its season as darkness is proper for the natural night so is spiritual darkness for the spiritual night as proper for it as light becomes the day and as truth and substance is proper for it so are shadows and lyes for the night while the night remains it 's as sutable they should remain as when the day dawns the shadows fly away O how clearly doth herein the excellency of Christ of Sion the holy seed appear though they are not exempted from any varieties or changes in the inward or outward world running thorow them yet they still sweetly remain the same being one with the Father they are as he is like him as Seth was like Adam what ever their cloathes their appearances be yet their life and substance is still the same For a season the inward man I find is so benighted and bewildered yea all his life so deaded and his light so put out and his glory darkened that he is made to see and confess that he knoweth nothing as he ought to know nor hath nothing to boast of no more then the outward man and that it 's onely the spiritual man that shall grow up to perfection and live and flourish whether in the seed or grown up For the coming of this full enjoyment of all blessedness happiness longeth my poor waiting soul in a daily expectation upon the God of all our mercies who is coming to fulfill our desires to compleat our glory he comes not with a thought to tarry or go back he comes swiftly with speed leaping to meet his beloved waiting Jacobs to revive their spirits with his loves his wisdom power grace goodness yea all his Riches of grace and glory that they may sing sweetly strongly thorowly fervent and frequent the new songs of Hosanna Hallelujahs blessing and glory power and praise to our God for ever who is the Authour of all our present good and the Omega of our perfect happiness in that heaven of heavens where Just men made perfect take up Sanctuary and assured Rest for ever solacing their souls with their Beloveds loves the riches honors pleasures and soul-delights of eternity that are in the bosome of our dear and precious father in the full fruition of this rest and glory longeth my waiting soul to be where time shall be no more the time of sin sorrow paine death any weakness or imperfection when that which is perfect is come I know all this which is imperfect will be done away yea then there will be no complaining or cause of complaining within or without because all sin and so all sorrow and sighing shall certainly be done away as being momentary the pure language the new melodious tune of Joy and gladness from the Spirit shall be onely sung heard and known to be for ever in the Saints to their Saviour who is our choice our chief our only and dearly beloved One in all without and above all in himself Worthy Sir because Honourable in the Lambs cloathing having put pen to paper with an intent to salute you your neer relation with a few broken fragments gathered up from my Masters table I shall take leave having a little freedom to communicate a few more lines to you hoping it will not be too burdensome to you Sir I cannot but Christian-like thank you for your Remembrances of us at all times though I know you are in covenant with that God who will recompence sevenfold into your bosom for all your labor of undeserved unexpected love your sympathizing from a fellow-feeling of our affliction and others plainly demonstrate you to be
a fellow-member of that mysticall body whereof Christ is the Head O what a mercy is it to be heartily affected with the afflicted to have the same mind which was in Christ in us to have the same love one to another as Christ hath to us in quality though not in quantity The love of the Lord in his people is many times made out to them in an unexpected way to wonderment when they think least of it as Hagar said the Lord looked after her when she looked not after him so doth he to many of his people oftentimes provide and protect them in a way and manner which they cannot but wonder and bless his Name It 's a wonder to mee sometimes to see how sensible one Christian is of anothers sufferings because it 's so rare but when I consider that all the Saints have but one God one Father one Faith one Baptisme one Love one Spirit who dwells in them all and runs thorow them all and conveys it self to all as it pleaseth whether absent or present afar off or neer at hand known or unknown by face Although the Saints are scattered abroad in this wide wilde world and distinct in the flesh from one another yet are they one in the Lord and so love sympathize sorrow and rejoyce together as members in truth of Christs body Christ was of a sympathizing suffering Spirit and such hearts qualities and dispositions he would that we should have therefore he puts his Law of love and kindness into us he takes our humane nature and infuses his divine nature into us Christ bears all our griefs and carries our sorrows and in all our afflictions is afflicted with us and for us O how good is it in our wilderness of trouble to lean upon this our Beloved who can bring us out of them all we are very apt to stumble at the way and maner of Gods dispensations when we have little cause for it if we did but consider that he hath glorious ends in all he doth and suffers for the exaltation of his Name and our sole comfort Though the Lord may cross his people in the way of his providence so that all things may fall alike to all in this World before men yet not in his account hereafter for he may give us to look unto him in his word of Promise and there behold him by an enlightned eye doing all things after the counsel of his own good will and pleasure for his glory and our everlasting comfort beyond and above all outward sense and external hopes as he did to Abraham calling things that are not as though they were I am not so much a worder as an admirer and a little writer of the wonders of God in the deep of affliction to some of my fellow-sufferers who have been bewildered in their spirits as I have been though now through rich mercy in som measure refreshed with the crums of Canaans comfort drops of honey and milk grace and love that flows from our good spiritual land Much of Gods fatherly Dealings and Refreshings I might relate unto you which my hungry thirsty weary Restlesse soul hath known seen and felt in the day of trouble the hour of sad temptations if I had freedom Sir the sharp exercise which hath been upon my spirit since that little unknown book was made of Gods glorious Displayings of light and love upon a poor dark forlorn nothing-creature in an unexpected time I was not then capable of the publishing of it if I had I could not be free fearing how it might be with me afterwards Truly since then I have had a sharp Winter-season mourning for the loss of all that comfort I have been stripp'd so bare of seeming comfort since that I cannot boast of that nor of any comforts but of the God of comforts not of enjoyments or experiences not of any gifts or graces but of the giver alone and of my infirmities and in that Power of Christ which hereby is made more manifest in us the Lord alone is the boast and glory of his people in his Name we set up our Banners and upon him alone shall our mind be fixed and our soul-affections set and not on things below this is to have our hearts above on things remaining not shadowy but substance and our conversation in heaven though we tabernacle in houses of clay in the world When Christ is our only object then but not till then will all below be our abject in comparison of a full God a naked Christ a free Spirit O that it might be all our aimes and ambitions to take up our crosses and follow Christ fully even thorow fire and water for here our God hath promised to be with his people and when we are purged and purified enough he will lead us out into a wealthy place of peace and Joy O that we could walk in our Masters steps without stumbling and do as he did run our race with joy knowing if we run we shall obtaine the Crown which is not to be had on this side the end of it Surely this prize is worth the running waiting for and longing after till we enjoy it Our suffering and Cross is but a little while for a small moment but our glory is for everlasting our reigning for ever Thrice-happy is that soul whom God chuseth for his own in his furnace and chastens in his school happy entering happy in it and for ever happy afterward Blessedness and Happyness is annexed to Gods chastning Blessed and happy is the man God correcteth and teacheth new lessons thereby therefore not to be despised Our loving Father even smiles when we think he frowns upon us when he seems to strike us he stroaks us He doth to us sometimes as he did to Adam convey a precious promise with a sad threatning saying The seed of the woman c. Mercies oftentimes come veiled to us and a sentence of death may pass upon our choicest mercies as did upon Abraham for the tryall of our graces which would not shine so bright if not fire-tryed with Abrahams whose faith love and holy obedience to God after thus tryed shined more eminent and glorious I find our sad visitation known to you Sir was not so much a Punishment as some may call it but rather a strict tryal to try our faith love patience and pure good-will to God whether it be simply and entirely to him without by-ends as Satan would have accused Job to God saying Doth Job love or serve God for nothing also to try our strength what we can do or suffer for God and also to try our wisdom how prudent patient we could behave our selves like true Christians in the loss of all outward enjoyments though deare and precious to us not onely in flesh but in Spirit O what an unspeakable mercy is it to finde and feel God enabling of us to hold out in these firy tryals speaking well of the Name of our dear God
owning him in giving mercies to us and not friends and owning him to take them from us and not enemies the Lord gives takes also Truly the Lords tryall in these things is a firy strict tryall God tries our Faith and love as he did Abrahams by causing him to offer up his onely son Isaac the son of promise Now I know said God to him in doing this that thou lovest me and thou shalt know it for in Blessing I will multiply Blessings upon thee and thy seed This ascending spark of love in Abraham from God to God did as I may say engage the Lord to descend showers of blessings upon him and his seed Our God in wisdom doth all things he tries and proves us to do us unexpected good in the latter end he tries whether we can live in the practicall part of Christianity what we can do and suffer in truth for Christ whether we can be content to leave all for him be content with Christ alone without freinds or the world gifts graces qualities and conditions and such-like in one hand and Christ in the other whether we can be content to resign up all to God all outward and inward things all Relations Ordinances Gifts Graces Desires Hopes all that can be named or desired of Heaven and Earth that nothing of self may Remain none of our wills desires ends hopes but all crossed and destroyed in us which is contrary to the Lords will the Creatures will being so contrary to Gods will in all things it 's well to have it crossed though it be in that which may be most for its seeming comfort Surely they who are acquainted with the excellency of Gods hidden Divine will would not have it crossed but rather its own will in any thing though it may seem hurtful to it sure it 's thus Sir I shall acquaint you a little what a hard thing it was for me to submit to this will of God though easie to him to make me quietly submit and resign up all to him in the departure of my dear Brother Though the dispensation was dark and dismall yet I dare say from a full perswasion after many doubts that though it might seem in Judgment yet God hath received him to everlasting mercy for being weak I finde he was suddenly overcome by the strong man not willingly but by constraint meeting with many unnamed inward and outward fears and troubles Certainly what is not done in despite willingly against God but the violent hurrying of Temptation through weakness not willingly shall never be layed to any poor tempted souls charge The Lord doth not look so much to the weakness of his creature and temptation as to his own rich mercy and free love Surely thus the God of love hath looked upon my dear departed Brother for I had experience of him in his life-time that when he was himself he served the Lord with many Tears and Temptations oftentimes and did endeavour to walk as exact as a Christian to that light of knowledg God was pleased to measure out to him Much I might say of this nature had I oportunity and thought it convenient which causeth me to Believe the Lord hath not looked upon him to take advantage of his weakness to destroy but to save him according to the multitude of his tender mercies and being a God of love patience and long Suffering hath I am now perswaded though one while I was much troubled with doubts and feares hath taken him from sin and sorrow to bliss and blessedness He was of a very weak Constitution of body Truly dear friend the great loss of such a comfortable staff such a hopefull son and brother the maner and unexpectedness of his going from us hath been a sword in our bones first pierced thorow our soul which hath cut us to the heart First from a serious consideration of Gods dishonour by opening the mouths of the ungodly to cause them to stumble at the way of God saying What profit is it to serve God and are these they that made the Lord their trust and such-like things And secondly the Saints discouragement besides our own great discomfort in the middle of our supposed comfort I hope the effect of the sword I mention will prove the Lords severing sword to separate more between flesh and Spirit Christ and the creature I find all that God doth is to try us whether we can love God as well in the way of his Judgments as in the way of his mercies love him in casting us down as raising us up in smiting as healing in Winter as Summer for all in all changes and conditions above all many are the troubles of the holy seed of God and truly did we not suffer something the remaining part of Christs sufferings would be unfulfilled which tryal and proof he endures in us as he suffered in the patterne so we in truth O there is a necessity of our suffering something if we would be feelingly sensible of what Christ hath suffered in the flesh for us to crown us with glory in the Spirit and be sympathizing with others in affliction and really magnifying that free grace of God which ends in full glory causing us always to extol the Lord blessing him with a triumphant song of praise I am sure the Saints have cause to bless the Lord at all times even in the wilderness because this is the place where God usually speaks comfortably to his people Though he lead them this solitary way yet it 's the right way the way of the Lord is an unknown strange way even in the whirlwind O what a happyness is it to finde afflictions come not out of the dust but as we may say they are the finger the providence of God for our good he makes them antidotes to us to expell poyson the more we have of them Sanctified to us the more pure like Christ we have no cause to say when we are under the rod therefore not beloved of our Father because so and so afflicted but the rather loved of our Father because chastned hereby we are made more conformable to Christ by being buried with him in the Baptisme of his sufferings The Cup of affliction which the sanctified ones drink of is a Fathers Cup which they cannot but drink handed to them for their good from himself whose ways are all mercy and truth whose paths drop fatness whose out-goings and in-comings are all sweet and precious to us The poor creature in trouble is very apt to cry out and say Is this and this a pleasant way is this a comfortable condition and can God indeed bring good out of such great evills O it 's impossible Thus I have thought often Can any good come out of sinfull Nazareth out of my confusion and darkness O it 's impossible with us it is but not with God who at first commanded light to shine out of darkness O what cause have we to exalt Gods power and love
in the firy furnace to glorifie him in the fires is most excellent O they cannot but do it when they see him keep them alive in the midst of that fire which consumes onely the dross preserving the Gold pure for his Use That enlightening hony which is in the top of our Gods Rod doth enlighten us to behold this great and glorious sight why the Bush burns and is not consumed O this honey out of the rock Gods love-manifestations will sweeten and doth all conditions and changes to us and all Christians some are afflicted for the tryall of faith and patience that they may have their perfect work by exercise Sometimes that the handy-work of God may be made more manifest upon us the Lord may take away our corn Wine Wool and Oile which he giveth us when we do not prize him above all that hereby we may learn to love our giver more then gifts and to know the worth and sweetness of them more by the want of them a while We may be Deprived of any comforts yet not of the God of comforts and sadly cast down yea seemingly forsaken and overwhelmed with sorrows like unto David and weary of life with Job distracted as Heman and yet belong to and dearly beloved of God as they were therefore it 's good to take up this Holy Resolution to wait on God in the way of his seeming Judgments and in meditation of his loving-kindness till he shall make hard things easy and crooked things strait rough places plain and bring to light the hidden things of darkness making darkness light before us Said good Jacob who found it good to wait upon God I have waited for thy Salvation and I will wait and David In waiting I waited and Job All my appointed time will I wait till my change come O how desirable a thing is it to see Christians have such patient believing submitting hearts to the Lords will Though he kill me yet will I trust in him and I am thine save me This is a sweet rolling on God in a day of trouble and saying with Christ The Cup which my Father hath given me shall I not drink it it's a Cup not a Sea and a Fathers Cup not an enemies and a Fathers gift By considering these things the Lord pleased to work comfort renew his love to my soul when much troubled at my deare brothers death by which I hope the Lord will gradually crucifie all that he would have crucified and blast all of creature-props and helps that he alone may be our onely stay and blessedness The neerer a soul comes to God its haven of happiness the more it meets with sad storms and tempests Which makes our port of glory more desired and gladsome to us when we come unto it The bitterness of misery sets off the sweetness of mercy as the blackness of the night the glory of the day I am sure my brothers afflictions here were sharp before he went hence which causeth me to believe he is now for ever comforted Some comfort came from this word to me Refrain thy voice from weeping and thy eyes from tears when my soul was in bitterness for thy work shall be rewarded of the Lord and thou shalt see him again with greater Joy though thy desire was crossed here in some things as Davids was and others Yet ye shall rejoyce together in my Kingdom I finde this was of God coming in power to the satisfying of my troubled soul in an agony of sorrow I answered this voyce Lord it 's enough if thou make thy word good thy will thy unknown will by any but thy self be done O Father And further it was said That nothing should separate him and Christ nor estrange his love from him Till God appeared in this maner to me Quieting my heart in some measure I was much troubled touching his honour to think how he would suffer by some till he told me he knew what was most for his glory far better then silly I. Truly I may say How had it been unless the Lord had been on our side wee had almost fainted and dwelt in silence had not Jehovah our Mighty God been seen in the mount wonderfully for our preservation and deliverance for which I desire to Bless his Name for ever who comforts me much from these words bidding me look to Jesus the Authour and finisher of our Faith who for the Joy that was set before him endured the cross despised the shame and is now set down on the Right hand of the Majesty on High He was oppressed and afflicted yet he open'd not his mouth learn of him for he is meek and lowly which makes him so unspeakable lovely Patient was Christ when he suffered he overcame by patience as well as by power As Christ was patient so was his members and so should they be like David in their suffering seasons says David I was dumbe and opened not my mouth and let the Righteous smite me and it shall be an excellent Oil it will be for my profit his correction This our loving friend Christ will not wound us but heale us when he smites he smiles upon us for he even then refreshes us with his brook and well-spring of life in our waylesse wildernesse under all our sorrows and smitings and hereby God makes us to lift up our heads with Joy and praise O what cause have We to blesse the Lord under our crosses for his supporting hand of love truly as great cause as if he took them away from us It 's a desirable thing to own God to be Just when he shews mercy and when he gives grace to be still exalting the Riches of his glory O the happyness the heavenlyness of those spiritualized souls whose wills are subdued to the Lords will in all things so to acknowledge him Righteous in all he doth and our selves vile O what a blessed state are they in who have no will to be guided by but the Fathers will in all things which easily learns them to deny and defie self fully in all they do and say and to esteem onely of God and the workings of his Spirit above all O that we might be as Christ was lovely in all conditions by our Holy submission to our Father Christ we know learn'd obedience by the things which he suffered O how lovely was he when he lay in a Manger when he lay on the ground and sweat Water and Blood when he was scourged and crowned with Thorns when he hung on the Cross between two Theeves when he lay in the grave even now Christ appeared most lovely by how much he abased himself thus low O how desirable a thing is it to see goodness and greatness kiss each other in one noble person O what a great condescention of love was this in such agreat person as Christ who is King of Kings O that such a gloryous Majesty should so low condescend to such poor weak unworthy worms to teach sinners in
his light the vileness and vanity of every thing which is Excellent within or without us then indeed the soul crys out What have I to do any more with Idols to seek after Bethel after any thing that will not profit but the True Living Immortall God who dwells in everlasting unutterable and unsearchable light and glory without beginning or end Truely when we seek the true God aright we shall finde him to be a certain Light above all Lights which no carnal eye can comprehend and a certain Voyce which none in their creaturely state can conceive of and such a sweet perfume is Christ which no nose of sense can attain unto He is a certain Sweetness above all Sweetness no perfumes Ointments Spices Milk Honey or Manna is comparable to this sweetness though ever so desirable for this is incomparable above and beyond all for ravishing pleasant and satisfying and such an imbraceing is Christ our soul lover which no sensitive feeling can take hold of this pure light of life shineth where no place is to hold it and the Voice of Christ soundeth free where no aire is to help it and his sweet savour yeildeth sweetness and life where there is no feeding on creature-comforts and Christs imbracing is such an imbracing where no armes are ever pluck'd asunder Now when the poor soul hath thus found and enjoyed Christ in the inmost Holy Places of its new heart whom it so earnestly sought for and now entirely loveth now it cries out None none but Christ it now makes account of nothing in comparison of him in whose favour consists its life this is it a soul seeks when it seeks God this is it we love and desire Even a manifestation of that Jesus love who hath saved us from our sins and is Emanuel God with us in all our troubles sorrows tryalls and temptations This blessed man Christ Jesus is our joy and Crown of rejoycing which causeth us to break forth into songs of praises and Hallelujahs glory for evermore to our God Finding all things dead and empty to me when I sought Christ sorrowing as I have mentioned I was afterwards comforted in some measure being made willing to wait in silence in which silence my soul with Hannah poured out my complaint to him whom I know when all failes us doth help us being mighty to save keep and deliver even then for the Lord never leaves his in trouble but supports and delivers out in his appointed time He that sets our faces to Zion will undoubtedly bring us hither in his own time to possess our prepared mansions of glory in his kingdom to live there in praising him to all eternity singing continually form our God to our God whom we have been seeking like the Spouse abroad When he was at home in the secret closet of the heart to which when we return in peace we here finde him in our souls by his Spirit sitting as onely Lord and King in his Throne ruling over all the Powers of darkness in us O for ever happy are they whom God is thus nigh unto in all things filling them with all joy in himself through believing O can any soul that hath or doth taste or enjoy but ever so little of the Lord say his consolations are small but very great and precious full of life love Power like himself and full of vertue and streaming sweetness like Jonathans hony which revives the drooping spirits of sad hearts in their dry barren sad solitary wilderness-condition Though this is the Fathers will to have us pass thorow this state in such harsh and difficult ways to the eye of sense and reason which would much terrifie and perplex a carnal heart yet our God hath such sweetness to mingle with them which makes them very passable to his Beloved whom he leads thorow for the bondage of Egypt he can make tolerable and the wilderness with all the intricacies thereof he can make easie who makes rough places a plain way for us to go thorow our Journeys end Canaan also with the high walls and strong enemies thereof even the children of Anak whose very sight struck terror even these our God did and doth make Conquerable to his Christ and anointed ones Christ by his death hath made his people Conquerors over all enemies and oppositions by his death he hath brought to light life strength joy glory and immortality though he was as we are oftentimes put to death in the flesh yet he was quickned in the spirit it 's this Spirit alone that satisfies quiets and composeth a poor troubled soul when none nor nothing can and it 's this holy Spirits work to lead us out of one truth into another out of one dispensation into a higher and at last possess us of perfect rest and happiness out of which rest I have been much bewildered and perplexed in my spirit from the sense of a dead lost condition not knowing what to do or which way to turn my self for comfort About four years ago I was very sick and weak in which weakness the enemy took advantage to shew his power and set upon me strongly tempting and troubling me by raising new feares and doubts in my heart which caused me to conclude that all former discoveries of love which the Lord had communicated to me was but lying vanities and delusions this trouble was beyond all my former childish troubles for my old life was not so much captivated as my new one my spirit and truely this temptation lay with some confidence upon me that I knew not what to say or do I thought sure the smoaking flax that little spark of grace was now extinguished wholly but I can through rich mercy say Blessed and for ever praised be Jehovah who hath so sweetly unbosomed himself and unboweled his precious love to his unworthy hand-maid telling me that all my creaturely mutability should not nor could not alter his unchangable love for whom he loved once he loved for ever to the end and in the end endless ever out of sin into grace and out of grace into glory neither should any of the water which I had cast upon the smoaking flax quench it by disowning and doubting of the realitie of my state and the truth of those precious appearances I had enjoyed from the Lord this smoaking flax was God beginning a good work in my soul who would perfect it for his praise O how strongly doth the renewings of the Lords love to us engage our hearts to honour him all our days in righteousness and holyness who notwithstanding all our unworthyness and greatness of sins sins after conversion as well as before sins often reapeated as well as once onely committed yet is our loving friend who loveth us freely faithfully and constant even in the height of our unconstancy to him as he vvas pleased to shevv me by not leaving me destitute of his mercy and his Truth in my sad sorrovvs By this firy contest I finde that vvhat