posture of strength shee was now in In a strange objecting disputing way followed by Satans temptations and prompted with strong objections against her selfe So that now her great want was of an able man to be continually with her to dispute constantly with all her temptations and objections able to answer and crush all This and such a Helper did God in his infinite mercy in the next place provide for her Another fit help succeeds to Mâ—ster Dad. For it pleased God in his wise providence so to order the matter that her Husbands Cure at Esher being a Donative and not a Presentative endownment was voyde and to bee disposed of In which interim notice was given unto him of one Mr Hooker then at Cambridge now in New-England A great Schollar an acute Disputant a strong learned a wise modest man every way rarely qualified who being a Non-conformitan in judgement not willing to trouble himselfe with Presentative Livings was contented and perswaded by Mr Dod to accept of that poore Living of 40 l. per annum Mr Drake her Husband being a worthy welbeloved Gentleman and able to procure his liberty and retaine him still in the same This worthy man accepted of the Place having withall his dyet and lodging at Esher Mr Drakes house and so by this meanes as to free Mr Dod from his toile and trouble so to be at all assayes ready to mannage and work her spirit encounter all her objections espie all Satans windings and turnings and catch her at all non-plus advantages being acute quick nimble-witted well skild in knowing and opening of the Scriptures withall a good Logitian a strong Disputant as he could well doe And so the good old man as occasion served sending and writing unto her after divers sad and serious discourses with her wherein shee covenanted to observe all promises past retaining her former resolutions in those things wherin in judgement she was convinced he was for that time lovingly dismissed and rewarded largely by her Parents This man Mr Hooker being a good acute smart Preacher when he listed besides that information Mr Dod had given him was so wise first to trie her spirit to finde her disposition using her with much mildnesse love ere he would adventure to meddle with her spirit chusing rather that way made from her might usher the way unto his discourse then that at first hee should enforce any thing upon her Which was not long in suspence for now having a fit person to rough hew her as it were whom shee could neither weary out nor over-come in Argument but was able to discerne and catch Satan in all his Sophismes there every way fell out strong disputes betwixt them But all within the compasse of those former things wherein Mr Dod before had convinced her Satan delighting still to rase new uprores in her and as his custome is not to suffer us to be at peace though we be out of danger Such now were his practises anew to winde up his old bottomes and to renew disputes even in those things she was convinced of For Mr Hooker being newly come from the University had a new answering methode though the same things wherewith shee was mervellously delighted and being very covetous of knowledge was pleased with new disputes and objections to fasten further upon her selfe those forementioned things still further and further sifting into the same old Truths whereof shee was well perswaded and as is said convinced Yet could not he so evenly hold the ballance in mannaging of her spirit but that now and then shee would flie out By degrees she is sometimes off hooks still in many distempers wishing to leave off all for shee now saw that there was no remedy the meanes did not work nor prove effectuall unto her To what purpose should shee any more labour in vaine But especially towards the Sacrament then usuaally shee would be off hooks either not comming or unwillingly if shee did Upon whom this place for her waiting and depending upon God was strongly urged Hab. 3. ult That the vision of Gods deliverances was for an appointed time therefore to wait for though it tarried yet it should come and not tarry and that also of Isai 8. I will wait upon the Lord who hath hid his face from the house of Jacob and I will look for him affirming unto her that these and the like hard travels were incident unto Gods best beloved people to have many hard and long trialls and yet at length glorious deliverances as was alledged from that place Amos 3.2 You only have I known of all the Nations of the earth therefore I will punish you for your iniquities which God may doe forgiving the sinne though bee take vengeance of their inventions And that Heb. 12. what sonne is there whom the Father chasteneth not If therefore yee bee without correction whereof all are partakers then are yee bastards and not sonnes Which with the like insinuations from the word closely urged brought down her spirit to mildnesse and meeknesse For though her indisposition and temptations made her many times contrary unto her naturall disposition harsh and untoward with the habite shee had accrewed in time to be crosse and try those soundly shee conversed with yet this happy endowment shee had to be very rationall according unto her conception and would be set down and satisfied with pregnant places of Scripture being seasonably press'd and lovingly opened unto her But the matter of repentance much troubled her Quest of repentance discussed that she could not repent demanding Whether it were possible for her to goe to Heaven without Repentance Hereunto was answered First Sol. I. That God did not tie salvation unto any measure of repentance but might at his pleasure save especially where there were no grosse sinnes to dam up mercies gates whereof praised bee God shee was free Secondly That God exacted no more of his creatures then he gave unto them as the Apostle to the the Corinths writes If there be first a willing minde accepting of us not according unto those things we have not but according unto those things we have And therefore that her weak desires and measure whatsoever given might be accepted of God For shee could not deny but her wishes were that she might repent and she was in some sort sorry for her indisposition and hardnesse of heart which being a burthen and a kinde of griefe unto her was so a kinde and sore of repentance Therefore was shee exhorted to be patient and not to limite the Holy One of Israel nor prescribe the fountaine and depth of all wisedome which were the best way to bring her unto Heaven but to submit her selfe unto the good pleasure of God trust hope with the best and use the meanes Thirdly Further alleadging unto her That it was not the greatnesse number or continuance of our sinnes that could stop mercy from us but finall impenitency and obduration Fourthly Repentance being the
which first bred in her the foundation of those stormes and tempests which in time were in danger to have overthrown her Wherein though shee were obedient and dutifull unto her Parents yet it stuck close unto her though her strength of spirit and joviall temper endeavoured with all her strength to have shaken it off out-worn it and by all meanes to have out-faced it without semblance of discontent by merry company and divers journeyes which usually divert melancholy thoughts as though there had been no such matter But griefe being like unto fire which though for a time smothered yet could not long bee concealed her discontenâ—s did secretly work upon her a habit of sadnesse in midst of her mirth with her friends as Salomon shewes than even in laughter the heart may be sad Cause of her distemper About this time not long after her marriage she was brought to bed of a daughter a dear daughter unto her because in that delivery being much wronged by her Midwiffe shee was ever after troubled with fumes and scurvie vapors mounting up unto her head which bred in her for the most part a continuall head-ach like unto a megrum together with somewhat like unto a fire continually burning at her stomack which no physick could remove or was not Gods pleasure it should the which drew her towards a more constant constitution of sadnesse and distemper though yet with her usuall strength of spirit and chearfull disposition shee out-faced as though all had been well But a fire of discontent being kindled full of sad thoughts in her which bred and encreased all the time she lay in of her daughter thus shortly after it fell out That Her Father and Mother being very indulgent towards her in this Case and both of them being with her when at a time she was ill at her House at Esher in Surrey her Mother to comfort and hearten her up then lying one night with her It came to passe that in the fore-part of the night shee fell asleep but not long after fell out into terrible shricks out-cryes to this purpose The first grand tempest shee endured that shee was undone undone shee was damned and a cast away and so of necessity must needs goe to Hell and therewith shook dropt down with sweat and wept exceedingly Wherewith her good Mother Mrs Totle much troubled being a very religious tender-hearted Gentlewoman did give her many good and comfortable exhortations to be quiet to trust in God not to believe illusions telling her that the Devill was a liar and so fell a praying with her A strange change shee being in shew well recovered and pacified Which being past she fell asleep againe and wakened as full of extraordinary joyes as formerly shee had been of terrors rejoycing exceedingly and then told her Mother What a wonderful comfortable dreame shee had been in and how from an Angel she was assured of her salvation that now all her former feares shee saw were false now she would doubt no more being assured to goe unto Heaven and so prayed againe with her Mother Some houres after this she fell asleep againe for an houre and more as her Mother told the Relator but at her awaking was now in a more fearfull case then ever The tempest begins roughly in a fearefull trembling and sweat shaking exceedingly and crying out That now shee was a forelorne creature being assuredly damned without hope of mercy without all remedy confident that shee must needs goe unto hell with shricks and loud Cryes the bed shaking yea the whole chamber seeming to rock and reele Which breeding to her Mother much fear amazement and grief in that it was now past her skill to fasten upon her daughter any thing which might allay comfort or quiet her distemper shee now was in In which wofull posture shee still continued notwithstanding all the comforts of perswasions vented either by her Mother or any others all which were in vaine there being joyned with her sadnesse and distemper some out-rage now and then abstinence from meat as much as might be strange desperate speeches unruly carriage far from her former naturall constitution sometime slighting and laughing at all said unto her they now not daring to trust her alone but to have her watched continually night and day by two Gentlewomen by turns most of the bolts and locks being taken off in the roomes lest Satan should have circumvented them Shee in the meane time all this while living in much discontent against her will but that she was so watcht and tended that shee could by no meanes hurt her selfe never left alone but over-awed with Overseers who were jealous of her ruine In this Case shee with much adoe was brought to eat but sparingly very musing and silent but when she was by her Husband Father or Mother much urged to the contrary who by their authority only prevailed much with her now at length growing desperately hopelesse refusing all meanes slighting and scorning to speake with any Ministers all who came to her shee shaking them off as we see a great Mastiffe to turne off many shall Curres laughing at them and sending them away with much derision and discontent which shee of purpose delighted to doe so to discourage all of them that they might have no minde to return again So as shee wearied out all who came unto her who left her as a creature hopelesse of recovery In which sad Posture now in her own eyes and most of others hopelesse and helplesse being the astonishment of Husband Father Mother and of all her friends wee will now for a while leave her unto her keepers to shew in the next place the second thing propounded How strangely the Lord caused the Relater to bee a meanes to finde her out bring one of a thousand unto her and what strange entertainment she gave him at his first comming unto her to declare unto her both what her iniquity and righteousnesse was How God caused to finde her out As by Gods good Providence the Relater was one day at dinner in Isleworth at the house of the Lady Scudamore where the late worthy Minister Dr Burges the Elder then also was whose help shee had rejected Amongst other discourses there interposed this also of Mrs Drakes great distemper pitifull strange unusuall Case how desperate it was and what a great work of mercy it would bee to be a meanes any way to help her It then being concluded by all that if Mr Iohn Dod of Ashby could be entreated or won to take so much paines under God he were the only fit person with his so milde meek and mercifull spirit do deale with hers which was so out of tune and off hooks upon whose prayers and paines more good successe might be expected then any one they could then think of This motion though for the time neglected yet after a fortnight wrought so strongly day and night upon the Relater that he could have
unjustly against her selfe setting her affections on fire by his injected wild-fire temptations That he made no doubt of her recovery but that now being acquainted with her Case and minde hee would goe home and consult with God what were fittest answers for the same returning ere long againe if God were so pleased then to endeavor to satisfie and heal all her doubtings In the meane time untill then enjoyning her chearefulnesse patience moderation in all things before her Husband and Parents and to attempt no more violence against her selfe all which shee faithfully promised and kept Still shee holds the maine conclusion Hee being gone in his absence shee carried her selfe discreetly and modestly not refusing to speak with any of those Divines who in the interim came to visit her and would sit and dispute with them a long time together but still in the old bias holding her strong maine conclusions the fabrick whereof appeared to be so strongly rooted in her that they seemed unremoveable all who as appeared did no good unto her save so much as they could to perswade her from such stiffe peremptory conclusions against her selfe and from prying into Gods secrets presuming to know those things which God in this life reveales not unto any but reserves as his own high prerogative only to know what his decree is touching the everlasting state of the Creature to come affirming that this knowledge which she pretended to have thereof was false and that this revelation was only known in the sanctified use of meanes which shee so farre refused as she could not be perswaded to goe to Church by any though they much urged her unto it Only now she would kneele and joyn in prayer with them but by no meanes in singing of any Psalme which shee affirmed not to belong unto any in her Case being now very sad and retired and now and then in weeping fits and sometimes in shewes of jollity and mirth so by turnes it pleased her to out-face her present misery Patience moderation and milde dealing much prevails with such But this as a Catholicon we observe in dealing with her that the more patient we were to suffer her to complaine and bemoane her selfe repeat one thing over a hundred times as shee used over and over again giving her good words using much meeknesse affability and service unto her even in her most untoward crosse carriages this got much ground upon her spirit and brought her to doe many things which no harsh crossenesse could possibly effect with her And therefore this couse was now taken not to vex her any more or urge her with perswasions to goe to Church or to doe any thing so displeasing unto her but to goe along with her spirit with patience abounding with love mercy good words and the like untill shee were convinced in judgement when they needed not to hale or pull her Duties would then come off freely For indeed this is the undoing of many poore souls in the like or any distempers to chide rate and urge them to much which is a crosse way displeasing and unprosperous yea disproportionable unto that course Christ takes whom wee should imitate not to break the bruised reed nor quench the smoaking flax and a crosse way To make judgement return unto victory In which Case Iacobs pace with his flocks with such is the best and safest way to drive them gently especially those who are with young in whom Christ is now but abreeding and forming that so he may as the Prophet speaks Isa 53 see of the travell of his soule and be satisfied And indeed such harsh spirits who are too quick with such poor souls being too nimble with them before they know their disease are but like rude Surgions or unskilfull Physitians who venter to give physick before they know the ground of the disease who many times in place of curing doe either kill or so much the more ulcer their wounds Hitherto we have seen Satan malicious A change in her occasions violent subtile various in his temptations changing shapes by all meanes striving to have overthrown this good soule abuse her judgement affections fancy and best reason to fight against her selfe notwithstanding all which the Lord miraculously preserved her was with her in and brought her through this fiery affliction to wonder and admiration Wherefore if the Reader will have a little more patience he shall see how the Lord overthrew all those strong holds which the enemy had by his wild-fire unresisted temptions and fiery darts injected in this good creature which being not presently cast forth againe as wild-fire should be thus enflamed her affections and endeavours against her selfe as in part hath been and God willing shall be related Tempta ∣ tion 1 For first he fastned this temptation upon her as his great maine Bulwork That she had sinned that great unpardonable sinne against the holy Ghost and therefore that it was in vaine for her either to use any meanes for salvation or hope for it and therefore that it were fruitlesse and in vaine for her to heare the word read pray and the like which hee wonderfull fastly had radicated in her Tempta ∣ tion 2 Hereupon hee inferred that by Gods Decree shee was a Reprobate a cast away appointed for damnation being shee was such a hard-hearted impenitent sinner not being able to repent and therefore was a treasurer up in all shee did of wrath against the day of wrath and the revelation of Gods just Judgements againsts her and therefore seeing that shee must eternally perish living for heaping up sin only for aggravation of her punishments therefore to make her selfe away the sooner the better which temptation a long time stuck fast seeming unremovable Tempta ∣ tion 3 From whence Satan made this third deduction like a Sophisticall Logitian begging the Question that therefore now it was in vaine to use any meanes at all but seeing her portion was now only in this life therefore to deny her selfe no manner of pleasures or jollity and mirth but to cast off all these sad and soure things of holy duties performing which were to no purpose now that the irrevocable Decree was past which was unchangeable And therefore if shee should bee saved shee should bee saved howsoever and that God would soften her heart and give her grace to use the meanes But that the fearefulnesse of her estate did shew hee suggested the contrary that all her endeavors would prove in vaine this stuck hard a long time Now against any of these nothing could bee fastned upon her against them which was not presently shook off again But especially in that first mentioned of the Sin against the Holy Ghost herein shee kept close the Devils counsell revealing the same at first unto none but unto Mr Dod though afterwards of her selfe three years after being in a good humor shee acquainted the Relator herewith and more also then he hath thought fit to vent abroad
as unnecessary giving him leave to publish and make known after her death so much of her Case as might in some such misery be usefull unto others After this Mr Dod at his appointed time returned having seriously pondered all her business digested the same and was joyfully welcomed of her friends though by her in a muddy strange way former tentations by that time having againe growne somewhat strong upon her when yet hee in his usuall mercifull way cheared her up encouraging her what possibly he could And so in some few dayes after fell flatly upon the businesse how to beat down and convince her erroneous opinions wherein shee was so setled and wherein shee thought her selfe most secure in her owne judgement unremoveably setled The sinne against the Holy Ghost discussed and stated The maine grand matter troubling her and quite unhooking her off from all manner of duties as hath been said was That she had sinned that unpardonable sin against the holy Ghost which shee firmly believed Whereunto Master Dod thus replyed directly crossing all her thoughts herein in the negative affirming that she neither had sinned this sinne nor was ever hitherto so qualified as to be guilty thereof which seemed unto her very strange to prove but was easily done For he shewed unto her our of Heb. 6.4 That those who commit that sin fight against their convinced enlighting having tasted the good word of God and the powers of the world to come having also tasted of the heavenly gift being made partakers of the holy Ghost who in their practise crucifie to themselves the Sonne of God afresh and put him to an open shame and trample upon the blood of the Covenant maliciously opposing the known truth in a constant course remorselesse unto the end having lived thriven under powerfull means which yet they slight maliciously and purposly oppose and persecute But that shee being still in her natural estate A strong assumption by her own confession being farre from this enlightning never having tasted of this heavenly gift nor of the powers of the world to come was never thus qualified and so had never neither could have committed this sinne so that her temptations and feares in this kinde were but meer delusions onely And for that other sort who committed this sinne without the former inward illumination and taste such as were the Scribes and Pharisees Julian the Apostate and the like who maliciously persecuted and blasphemed Christ notwithstanding that by his Doctrine and Miracles they were convinced of his Diety of this he shewed her shee could not be guilty of All she could alleadge against her selfe consisting only in a matter of thoughts which could not without action and former qualification bee that sinne or within the compasse thereof Which were only things wrapt up in that we call tentatio Foeda strange injected thoughts of God as Rom. 1.23 representing him to the fancy in abominable similitudes likening him unto the vilest and basest things which were only Satans wild fire tentations for which seeing shee even then and since abominated them being sorry for them Satan must answer for they being hers no further then as shee entertained and allowed of them And also that these thoughts being thought of and injected betwixt the top and bottome of the hill whereupon her Fathers house stood never breaking forth into any speech or action which shee was sorry for could not be any such sinne as shee imagined and therfore prayed her to content her selfe and to rest satisfied and not suffer the Devill to delude and torment her any more in this kinde All this discourse shee heard willingly without replication untill he had finished what he would say when shee being very rationall and convinced of the truth of what hee had delivered acknowledged her error and Satans delusion promising no more to entertaine any such like thoughts of that sinne A further complaint But withall shee told him that it was no matter for this though shee were free thereof yet she had other sinnes enough to damne her and was assuredly a Reprobate and cast away being shee could not love God nor any other creature being devoid of all naturall affection and given over to a Reprobate sense so as shee was most certaine that the Decree of God against her was past being that shee had no heart or power to performe any holy duty but was like a creature starke dead yea twice dead good for nothing but for hell fire wherewith shee sometimes would laugh and smile but wee must conceive that even in the midst of this laughter the heart was sad for in private not long after shee would have sore fits of weeping In vaine it was now to dispute with her Knowledge of Gods Decree denyed unto any one or perswade her in any thing untill her judgement was convinced rectified in that matter of the Decree of God For shee flung off all with seeming assurance of her knowledge being sure that the Decree of her reprobation was past of her rejection whereof she was sure and certaine Therefore this being the next strong hold to be battered down he bent in the next place all his strength this way Denying unto her that it was possible either for the Devill or any other creature to know the Decree of God either for salvation or reprobation but that this revelation came in the use of meanes God blessing the same for which cause all must use the meanes who would bee saved not medling with the Decree of God nor prying into his secrets for which then was alledged that excellent Scripture Deut. 30.12 That what they were to performe and know Was not in heaven that we should say Who shall goe up for us to heaven and bring it unto us that we may heare it and doe it Neither is it beyond the sea that thou shouldest say Who shall goe over the sea for us c. But the word is very nigh unto thee in thy mouth and in thy heart that thou mayest doe it Further hee urged that if thus much were certainly know by her he shewed her Argu ∣ ment 1 it must be by a Spirit of revelation demanding of her what spirit had revealed thus much unto her If the spirit of the Devill as it could bee no other then he was a liar and the father of lies as Christ Ioh. 8.44 speaks hee speaking of his own and not from God therefore not to believed And as the for the Spirit of God he shewed who only searches knowes and reveales unto us the deep things of God 1 Cor. 2.10 none but hee knowing the things of God not any creature This holy Spirit he shewed her had no such office assigned him of Christ in the word to be a spirit of discouragement to revealed reprobation being the Comforter appointed to lead the Saints in all Truth to reveale and tell things to come and teach us all things Ioh. 14.26 Argu ∣
could doe nothing to help her selfe no more then a stark dead creature could and therefore that God must doe all in which Case if hee were so pleased to give unto her strength and grace to work then shee would otherwise she could doe nothing a sore temptation which even untill her last she could hardly shake off Answ Hereupon he Replyed that God as was said wrought by meanes and that shee was bound to read the Word diligently to pray heare the same meditate and conferre thereof That this was Gods way and appointed meanes to make even such dead creatures live as shee pretended her selfe to be as it is Ioh. 5. That the time then was and was a comming when the dead should heare the voyce of the Son of God and those who heard his voice should live Wherefore seeing that their was such a mervellous efficacy in hearing of the Word and use of meanes Wherein the power of the Spirit did co-operate to make the same effectuall There was an absolute necessity to use the meanes for the attaining of salvation or else one were thus guilty of their owne damnation in wilfull rejecting and refusing of the meanes Unto all which her answer was Her further answers That shee had no power so to doe but when that God would enable her then shee would Yet hee prayd her to read the Word and pray as shee could and the like which shee refused alleadging that she could not pray and for reading of the Word to what purpose were that so to read her own damnation or to heare judgements and arraignments against her selfe that shee was better as shee was and therefore prayd him to urge her no more in this kinde untill God were pleased to work somewhat in her with abilities so to doe which if hee had a purpose to save her hee would surely doe Shee is brought off and from the third grand temptation But for his paines and for his conviction of her judgement rectifying of her from those fore-mentioned errors shee gave him thanks promising no more to torment her selfe with cogitations of them for she was satisfied in the Sinne against the Holy Ghost in the matter of the Decree and in Satan or her ignorance of any things to come his knowledge to be none at all But that for the present here shee must rest no further shee could possibly goe wishing him to share himselfe from being any more vexed with her untowardnesse Hee much abashed at her present distemper and resolute shew of stoutnesse and stiffenesse of Spirit yet was not discouraged seeing he had got so much ground of Satan as to beat her from her former strong holds hoping in time also to performe the rest which seemed a tough task to effect because the indisposition and melancholy temper of her body was such as hindered much the works shee therewith being averse unto Physick Therefore Discretion not to presse too much at once he resolved for that time to depart home and presse no more upon her at that time but give her time to ruminate and think upon those things delivered hoping to finde her in a better tune at his return and so accordingly giving charge to watch her diligently in a milde and loving way after he had given her many and good Exhortations to use the means to have a good conceit of God he departed because at this time hee would not tyre or overload her or more new toyle out himselfe Satan is not idle a new storme arises A little after his departure she began then to bee somewhat in the old posture of frowardnesse and distemper uttering many times desperate speeches and hopelesse still refusing all meanes saying that all were but in vaine And was so farre gone this way That the great snow and all the disastrous direfull events hapning abroad anywhere shee said were all long of her and for her sake she guilty of them and that things would never bee better so long as shee were alive For then indeed Santan taking advantage of her melancholy temper wrought her much woe thereby making her thus over-charge and accuse her selfe and endeavoring to have brought her back againe unto her former errors So that now much adoe there was with her to stay support or allay that accidentall fiercenesse which now those new distractions brought upon her which bred much griefe unto her Husband Parents and Friends but was not so to be wondered at that Satan should cause unto her or them so much disquietnesse by his incessant new tentations steering his time in Mr Dods absence to regaine his dispossessed hold or drive her unto finall desperation In or neere this interim shee was visited by divers worthy Ministers about the Town amongst whom was that famous worthy man Dr usher since Primate of Ireland a magzine of all knowledge and learning a powerfull plaine Preacher none like him in setting forth Christ in his high perfections and surmounting excellencies and in pointing the right straight next way unto him and withall as a very wise stout man so the mildest humblest and meekest man alive of his infinite reading knowledge and parts This worthy man many times did visite her would intreat perswade open Christ unto her magnified the riches of Gods mercy that way extended unto the sonnes of men shewing the freenesse of the gift of God this way and that none were debarred who did not wilfully exclude themselves with much meeknesse and mildnesse endeavoring to winne her spirit unto a reall embracing of those tenders of grace made unto her in the use of meanes whom shee willingly heard delighted to hear speak but withall still kept within the road of her old bias Her answer unto him her inability to performe holy duties or endeavor that way that all these were excellent things he spoke of touching Christ for them unto whom they belonged but she had no share therein for for ought shee knew shee said but yet used shee him alwayes with much love reverence and respect in whatsoever temper shee was in endeavouring still to give him all content and respect and he being wise and judicious seeing the temper of her spirit a great work to bee wrought the issue whereof time must shew to bee effected by degrees did not much presse upon her spirit or much urge her unto any thing being contented when he came to her to drop upon her many sweet distilling showers of precious speeches leaving them to work after he were gone And now also about this time Her excounter with Mr Forbs came to visite her another worthy Minister whom the Relater brought to see her and judge of her Case a wise acute learned discreet man of great judgement and parts one Mr Iohn Forbs Minister at Middleborrow for the Merchants This man having first a great while viewed her and said nothing at length broke silence told her that he had heard of her trouble and discouragements and therefore had come
verse 30. corrects the same thus For this cause many are weak and sickly among you and many sleep c. Which shewes the meaning onely is that such endure sometimes temporall punishments who yet may bee saved and goe to Heaven So that still the generall holds in equity as in and under the Law that Gods Ordinance in the Sacrament is not to bee neglected of us for our unsufficiency and unfitnesse for the same no more then under the Law during the Passeover because it may be a meanes to fit Let the scrupulous note this well heale cure strengthen revive quicken and enable us to be worthy Receivers For we come not to bring vertue unto the Sacrament but to receive vertue life strength and quickning from thence And that howsoever in this case we be qualified it were best to be obedient and use the meanes all which with much more the Relator remembers not was set on with more excellent illustrations exhortations and pithy remonstrances which discourse being finished she became in this also convinced in judgement that shee promised him thus farre to submit herselfe yet further unto the meanes that shee would now also goe unto the Sacrament Onely in this Case she begg'd exemption not to be urged because shee could not neither was able by her selfe to performe any private duties of prayer or reading of the Word constantly whereunto because they would not over drive her put her beyond her strength or molest her spirit they spared to urge her contented with what they could with gentlenesse and entreaty perswade her unto A very strange experience and wonderfull Yet it is most strange to heare how the Lord dealt with her in one thing wherein she delighted and was hardly broken off viz. Shee had a custome in tumbling over of the Bible to put her finger suddenly upon some one verse as it hit saying now whatsoever my finger is upon is just my Case whatsoever it bee and my doome But so the Lord directed all her fingers so put that looking upon the verse still it was found encouraging and comfortable not discouraging whereupon being much prayed and entreated seeing hitherto shee had found all places to speak for her that shee would desist and not any more thus tempt God who prayd that shee might doe but once more so it being in the presence of many promising faithfully that after that one time she would never do so any more to attempt any such tryall Whereupon at length all adventured to suffer her once more to see what Gods providence would prove in so strange a Case But withall if some crosse place came they prayed her not to bee discouraged whereupon shee suddenly opened the Book about the middle thereof in the Prophesie of Isaiah and without looking or reading a word or knowing what shee did she put her finger upon that excellent vers Isa 40.27 Why sayest thou O Jacob and speakest O Israel my way is hid from the Lord hast thou not known hast thou not heard that the everlasting God the Creator of the ends of the Earth fainteth not neither is weary there is no searching of his understanding hee giveth power to the faint and to them that have no might he encreaseth strength even the youths shall faint and be weary and the young men shall utterly fall But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength they shall mount up with wings as Eagles and they shall walk and not faint Which place being considered of and read so crossing her hopes and expectation made her being much abashed to blush For therein shee was reproved for her crosse conceits of God touching her as neglected of the Almighty and for all her weaknesse and imperfections was shewed that God could help all who with a word made heaven and earth enabling her to doe all duties at his good pleasure being therewith encouraged to wait and depend upon God in the use of meanes by such an excellent promise And so was therewith shewed how good God was unto her every way shewing love notwithstanding her untowardnesse and tempting of him by such signes At which not knowing what to say shee flung off poorely saying Object this was promised to Iacob and Israel It was nothing unto her and her Case Answ Whereunto answer was made out of that place Rom. 15. Whatsoever was written before hand was written for our learning that wee through patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope and so was thereby vanquished in judgement that she promised now to be satisfied and never any more to make any such tryall but to offer her selfe unto the use of meanes and to wait the Lords leisure what hee pleased to doe with her Yet still alleadging the impotency in her that she was able to doe nothing herein towards this great work but that God must doe all when being enabled shee would doe that whereunto she should be strengthned Shee is perswaded to joyne in singing of some sort of Psalms Yet wanted there one thing more to gether to joyn in singing of Psalmes which with much adoe shee was brought unto alleadging that her Case admitted of no such melody neither had shee cause to sing but to mourn all her life time Yet being told that it was a duty to sing prayses unto God for all his mervellous mercies power and goodnesse as well as to joyn in hearing of the Word and that thanksgiving being the everlasting work of Heaven in continuall praysing of God was a work could not be too soone begun upon earth and that the Psalmes being of divers compositions and postures of thanksgiving petition gratulation complaint and deprecation shee might joyne in some many of which might fit her Case shee was contented to joyn in Psalmes of complaint petition mourning and deprecation but in no other of any acknowledgement of any mercy received For said she If I be onely reserved as a stalled Oxe unto the slaughter what cause have I to give thanks and if I be not to goe to Heaven what have I to doe with the work of Heaven before the time or having some work wrought in me whereby I may be assured of my interest therein Why shee would have lived under a powerful Ministry About this time willingly shee would have live under some powerful Ministry hoping that thereby some such work might be wrought upon her as might enable her to performe duties and for this cause secretly made the Relator goe into Essex to try whether or not that worthy powerfull late thundering Preacher Mr Rogers of Dedham would have entertained her at his house who willingly granted the same But when the businesse was moved unto her Father and Mother neither they nor her Husband would consent unto the same though Mr Dod and Mr Culvervell both affected to have gone with her so too indulgent were they over her which refusall much unhookt her spirit and had almost put her in her former Case
would think that now there had not been much adoe but to have had a quick end of her troubles and sufferings But the Lord wonderfull in working and excellent infinitely in counsell and wisdome had otherwise so appointed the same that shee should yet a few years longer be storm beaten and sick and wander as it were in a wildernesse ere shee arrived at her heavenly Canaan And therefore out of her habituall impotencie seeing shee was so stiffe and slow to work out her own salvation or take paines for it Shee had at length her desire though hee made it cost her deare ere hee at length revealed himself unto her And therefore heareat shee stuck still even to the last expecting what extraodinary work God would work in her to enable her to take paines for her salvation A strange temptation which all her life time could hardly ever bee quite removed Untill God in a strange and unusuall manner for matter of feeling revealed himselfe unto her in such a measure as mortality was incapable of to the over-comming of her spirits who lived not long after to be in its place related About this time that famous worthy man of God Mr Robert Bruce some time Minister of Edenborrow then in prison amongst the wilde Irish for not preaching or assenting unto the truth of the Earle of Gowries Treason hearing by the Relator the trouble and true state of this Gentlewomans Case with the progresse thereof and how shee had been brought to reveale the Devils counsell wrote a letter unto the Relator touching his censure of her Case and hopefull issue thereof who being for afflicted consciences one of ten thousand he himselfe having beene for twenty yeares in terrors of conscience ere he was forced to settle unto the Ministry gave a judicious propheticall censure of the event of her case as in some sort it fell out too long here to insert but in conclusion with this upshot That now shee had bewrayed so freely the Devils counsell hee knew that all would shortly bee well are long and that her trouble would have to admiration a strange event and that for her finall estate he thanked God he made no more doubt thereof then of his own which he assured himselfe of because God had given him so large a heart to continue instant for her in prayer with a great deale of comfort concluding his letter with a patheticall speech turned in behalfe of the Gentlewoman towards Satan worthy to be written in letters of gold which being so rare and unusuall in the Presse speeches of this nature I have therefore adventured here to ensert A Speech to Satan O Enemy Satan although thy enmity for the present be troublesome unto this patient yet I thank my God through Jesus Christ that thou art an enemy unto her and that he hath put her in his Camp to fight against thee When I consider how in Paradice the Lord proclaimed irreconciliable enmity betwixt thee and the blessed seed I account her happy in that thou art her enemy and that strength is given her to fight against thee for hereby I perceive that shee is none of thine but stands on that side whereof Christ is the Captaine and all the Saints are Souldiers where the victory undoubtedly must bee both sure and certaine on her side O deceitfull Serpent If we finde such terrors and ensignes of thy fury for these smaller sinnes of frailty which we foolishly by thy enticement commit what should we have found if wee had followed thee in the rest of thy deadly assiduall and unmeasurable fiery injected temptations from the which the Lords preventing and restraining mercy hath kept us I have often by experience heard that thou art a faithlesse traytor because thou temptest a man to sinne and for the selfe-same sinne which by thy instigation we commit thou art the first accuser and the last tormenter The Lord encrease our faith and confirme his good purpose in our hearts that we never hearken any more to thy lying words nor suffer our soules to be circumvented by thee and thy deceitfull snares And as for the work of her salvation since it is a work which our God will work in spite of thee wherefore should shee or wee any more regard thy lying testimony Thou didst most malitiously put the question unto our Saviour whether or no he were the Son of God And then what marvell is it that thou darest say unto his children that they are none of his Is there any such undoubted truth that thou darest not deny or any falshood which thou darest not make good and justifie Why therefore should we enter in disputing with thee for her salvation consists not either in thy questioning or in her disputing against it but upon the Lords unchangeable Decree of Election If thou shouldest speak for her and plead her cause she were so much the worse and nothing the better and now that thou pleadst against her she is nothing the worse I love no testimony which proceeds from thee When thou confessedst that Jesus was the Son of God he rebuked thee and would none of thy testimony and when thou cryedst out that Paul and Sylas were the servants of the most High God although thou spakest the truth yet they would not accept of thy testimonie So although thou wouldest affirme that she were the child of God were she any thing the better no but so much the worse thou canst vent no truth but with an intent to deceive Therefore keep thy testimomie to thy selfe speak what thou wilt thou art ever like thy selfe a liar cursed art thou and cursed shalt thou be with all thy Confederates and cursed are they that are in friendship with thee So in conclusion thy pursuite of her and her safety hitherto from thy power shewes mee that shee is none of thine The Lord powre in his comfort and grace in her weak heart that shee may finde and feele the sweetnesse of the things we write of and from her feeling to give God the prayse of his glory and of her victory which I am sure to be most certaine in Gods good time and that her salvation is as sure as mine own I prayse God By this time three whole years having past since Mr Dod began with her having endured so many hot skirmishes with Satan made so many long journeys being toyld out in body and spirit and desirous now to rest awhile having facilitated his tough task and fitted it for some other to finish and build her up further hee having in all things convicted her judgement that God who does all things well and makes all things Rom. 8.28 work together for good unto his children who when Moses was old appointed the young man Ioshua in his place and who when Manna failed brought the people into Canaan flowing with milke and honey did now also out of his good Providence appoint a fit man to succeed as a helper in Mr Dods place meet for that
gift of God which hee might at his pleasure give and accept in good part whatsoever measure thereof he were pleased It was not to be doubted of but that she might in time attaine unto so much thereof in the use of meanes as hee would accept of and as might bring her unto heaven For God of all his Attributes is said only to delight in mercy Micah 7. his nature being to forgive and forget iniquity transgression sin and sinnes of custome Fifthly That as sinne was a perpetuall act in us so in God there was a perpetuall act in pardoning of sinne not transient but in a perpetuall constant current as Zach. 13.1 a fountaine opened ever running to wash away all sinne and uncleannesses with many the like things which now againe wonne her spirit to rest upon God though now and then upon divers occasions she used to fly out a little Yet being continually hammered and hewen with the tough acute disputations of this good man Mr Hooker who was very assiduously industrious in watching her disposition and various inclinations of her changes and tentations by Gods mercy shee grew still better using to present her selfe constantly to the use of meanes having prayer catechizing expounding and reading of the word and singing of Psalms constantly in the family now with delight and willingnesse acted being never weary to have the word expounded yea and in private spending some time by herselfe alone daily as the indisposition of her distempered body heart-burning and in a manner perpetuall head-ach would permit her but yet would not bee known nor confesse unto any what in private shee did being alone The good soule is yet tossed up and down Now have wee her in the wildernesse tossed up and downe like the Church in their march unto Canaan fraught with divers stormes now backwards now forwards with many turning and winding temptations restlesse in her thoughts because desire hath no rest having some glimmering glimpse of hope but as she faid had no grounds for the same expecting when the Lord would bee pleased to work in her some great work for enabling In which Case now up now down the better shee grew in her minde having still therewithall the greater weaknesse and indisposition of body she continued a long time her old friend Mr Dod now and then once in a quarter of a year comming to visite her whom she much rejoyced to see praying not any more to stay so long away for now shee rested assured her time on earth was but of small continuance About which time it fell out that Mr Hooker also having acted his part with her and done his best to comfort uphold and rectifie her spirit so fitting her for mercy as nothing remained to bee done but a full gaile of spirituall winde to blow upon her to bring forth her fruit that by Gods Providence he was married unto her waiting-woman After which both of them having lived some time after with her and he cal'd to bee Lecturer at Chemsford in Essex Master Hooker leaves her they both left her her Husband having provided another for the Cure but not like unto the other who also came often to visite her being much there And there lived also two miles from thence a worthy good Minister one Mr Witherell of Waltham upon Thames whom shee went constantly to heare and was alwayes very helpfull unto her but especially when Mr Hooker had thus left her whom every Thursday shee heard hee being a painfull able good mercifull man did then much help her both in publike and also in private helps of conference and expounding of the Word which now shee much delighted in at all occasions especially shee found a little comfort in opening of that chapter Micah 7. one time when Mr Dod was with her three Moneths before her death though as shee said she durst not acknowledge nor confesse the same for feare it had not been so But ah should I now lance forth into the discourse of the losse of so good a friend The preparation unto her death but what say I of losse No she was not lost shee was now found with her face strongly bent home Heaven-wards Having therefore thus far proceeded in this said Trage-Comicall discourse I must now proceed to the Catastrophe thereof If therefore good Reader thou wilt have a little more patience to heare the rest thou shalt quickly see the Scene change with a joyfull Comicall conclusion For though all this while shee hath gone forth weeping carrying pretious seed now thou shalt see ber returne with sheaves of everlasting joy though weeping hath beene many an evening yet now thou shalt see joy come in an everlasting morning Though Satan hath much toyled wearied out and vexed her spirit yet thou shalt see how the God of peace shall shortly tread downe Satan under her feet her reward infinitely surpassing all her momentany sufferings which now comes to bee the fourth and last thing propounded Her death and the preparation unto it Divers years since Mr Dod left her and some large time also after that Mr Hooker was removed unto Chemsford shee remained more chearefull in minde though tormented with her heart-burning and in a manner perpetuall megrum which made her to lie much of the day upon her bed unfit for any other actions of endeavor in the use of meanes she would or should otherwise be employed in About this time a strong distaste was given her from a neare friend A new griefe is added to the former not necessary here to relate nor to our purpose Which yet fastened so upon her that it grew more and more and brought her into a posture of great discontent so as shee became in her thoughts a woman in some sort of another world who being resolute in her way unremoveable having resolved and alwayes purposing when shee found her selfe neare unto her last to die at her Fathers House and lie with her kindred and friends at Ammersum Shee suddenly told her Husband that shee found her selfe very ill and therefore that shee was purposed to goe suddenly unto her Fathers House Hee much wondering at the suddennesse of her resolution told her If her resolution were such to goe so quickly his businesse was such as hee could not yet goe with her unlesse she would stay until his businesse was dispatcht but if she were resolute to goe that hee would not stay her she might when she would So shee being resolute the next day with two of her men shee departed for her Fathers House where being arrived they wondering that shee came so without her Husband shee in plaine termes told them That shee alwayes had resolved to die at Sharolois and therefore shee not knowing how long her time should be finding her weaknesse great had now come without her husband to die there saying that her husband would shortly follow after They much wondering at this sudden newes from her and unexpected strange speeches yet at her
him whom shee dealt with and schooled having him all alone for above an houre together Shee chooles and takes leave of her father whom when shee had said her minde unto and taken her leave of shee dismissed him At his descending from her the Relator did what hee could in a a faire way to have fished from him what she had said unto him Of whom nothing could bee obtained save in the generall That shee had given him very good counsell both touching his wife and himselfe and concerning the ordering of his estate and family and to keep a Preacher in his house with many other all good things as hee said Presently after this shee called to speak with the Relator Her farewell speech to the Relator whom having made to sit down by her shee first gave him many solemne thanks in a sull gaile of loving expressions for his care and paines taken with her and then she said she had a suit unto him Who replyed that any suit of hers if in his power was granted ere known which yet served not the turne but shee would have his hand to forgive her which being done she prayed him to forgive her who wondering at the strangenesse of this needlesse suit told her that hee had rather cause to ask forgivenesse of her having much failed both in duty and love unto her A rare confession O no said shee you must forgive me that you for so many yeares together having shewed mee so much love and beene a meanes of my everlasting comfort and happinesse that yet I have been so unkind unto you for I have not loved you by the hundred part in that measure I ought to have done according to that love you have shewed mee But will you know the cause I could love no body as I should so long as I was not assured of Gods love to me for that onely sets our love a fire to runne strongly the right way I could untill then neither love you nor any body else during so much distraction and diversion as I should have done And now that my love is thus kindled this is my sorrow my time being short that now I can no otherwise expresse my selfe then by this poore acknowledgement in a time I am so unfit and disabled to performe my desires But I well hope that what I cannot doe that God who set you a work for my good and my other friends will performe when I am gone And so for that time with abundance of love and thanks dismissed the Relator Thus having in some ample manner disposed of all the businesse shee seemed to have in this world The remainder of this afternoone shee lay in her former joyfull posture rejoycing to speak of the best things unto every one neare unto her yet without any rest or sleep or inclination that way When Mr Dod and Dr Preston came to visite her shee still entreating to give thanks no other discourse shee had as wanting nothing So continuing all this day untill the evening late that there was a great change as in part shall be shewed for least shee should bee lifted up through her former revelation joyes and rapture so short which endured not surpassing her strength shee had a weakning cooler to keep her down low For lo lo Shee is surprised with a weakness the Scene now changes againe the curtaine waves and tosses a little with an uncouth winde party coloured no firme impressions appeared She who lately was in a glorious triumph flying away forcibly from us all as it were with Eagles wings mounting upwards is now suddenly surprized with an extreame fainting and weaknesse of spirits being for ten dayes and nights over-wearied watched and toyled out so as now shee bewrayed some weaknesse in her expressions not being as formerly so lively and substantiall which continued the Thursday and Friday after never having any rest or sleep all the time which distemper made them send post to London for two Physitians hoping by their advice to have made her rest But all in vaine No physick could cure her but heavenly physick Therefore on the Saturday Mr Dod Dr Preston and Mr Hooker A Fast kept for her kept a private fast for her the issue whereof was in that forenoone she fell asleep rested soundly some five or six houres together and then waked in a very midle gentle temper Then shee cal'd unto her Cousin Herreis a good Gentlewoman alwayes exceeding carefull of her Sarah tell me did not I lately in some speeches forget my selfe Whereunto her Answer was Truly Cousin so you did but we imputed the same to your many dayes and night-watching and over-wearying of your spirits unable so long to hold out So it was said she My spirits were spent and gone which caused that weaknesse Then shee remembring all that had passed Her death her strange Raptures but nothing which then shee had said in them retaining her former grounds comfort and cheerefulnesse as in so much weaknesse could bee expressed cald for Mr Dod Dr Preston with the rest of her friends causing them to give thanks with her and for her venting her selfe unto them thus That her time was now at hand prayd them not to leave her and being very weak spake then her minde unto her Father Mother and Husband in a sort taking leave of them sent for her Children and blessed them now imagining to have done all her work And so from thence fell into a silent Rapture of joyfull singing of Hymnes and verses of Psalms not greatly caring to speak unto any body save now and then unto Mr Dod when hee moved an occasion And so shee lay this Saturday night and the next Sunday only when Mr Dod came desiring still to give thanks all which time shee grew weaker and weaker having by this time no audible but a hollow low voyce scarce to be understood The Munday after in the morning when shee fell asleep being come Mr Dod with the rest comming unto her shee when shee saw them all about her rejoyced and smiled taking them all by the hand with a cheerefull countenance beckned unto Master Dod to give thanks and bent her selfe what shee could with lifted up hands to joyne speaking softly unto her selfe in her Hymning way And so whilst they were at Prayer suddenly her hands falling and her lips going she sunck down in the bed and departed leaving all her friends mourning about her Thus have we seene the strange Story and scarce credible the like never heard of before I believe of this good Gentlewoman whom now wee will suffer to rest in peace freed from all the stormes and tempests wherein shee left her survivers Her buriall Who two dayes after was buried according to her desire at Ammersum in that Attire shee before her death had dressed her selfe Dr Preston Preaching her funerall Sermon with the infinite teares of all her friends and poore of the Parish Shee was of an extraordinary
sincere plaine true heart full and abounding in love mervellous secret in all her goodnesse very charitable to the poore of an unblameable conversation and life and the best Anti-hypocrite Christ excepted that ever lived for she alwayes wore her worst side outmost and wonderfully clock'd all the good things shee ever did or said with all her skill endevouring to extenuate all shee this way did or said Of her jewels and other things her Husband lovingly gave her way to dispose of shee left Legacies and remembrances unto all her friends who had beene most helpfull unto her and forty shillings a piece unto some few good poor women whom she had secretly unknown unto any procured to pray constantly for her And now that we have brought this good Creature into Heaven god Reader give mee leave out of all which hath been said for memories sake to sum up briefly her grand Case least it should be mistaken A good Creature in her naturall estate The sum of this grand Case qualified with the best of meere natures endowments accidentally encountring with some grand difficulties which a little overcame her natural parts By the way being surprized with admiration and wonder at the power of godlinesse in some eminent Professors her Neighbours the reflex whereof struck her with a strong conviction not to be yet the same as to bee saved shee must needs bee with her other concurring crosses wrought so upon her as shee became very melancholy yet with an enforced mirth to cloke the same which advantage Satan espying who still loves to work out his ends by that dolefull temper he assaults her with fearefull night-dreames seconded with divers wilde-fire temptations to have driven her unto finall dispaire which hee had well neare effected Meane while God intending to make her an everlasting monument of his mercy intending a great work unto others by her trouble and deliverance to convert by the way her Husband and Parents with divers others in both Families so stopping divers gaps with one bush and as hee alwayes doth and hath done to over-shoot Satan in his own Bow provides and sends one of a thousand to finde her out wrastle with all her temptations foyle Satan and convince her judgement so drawing her unto a conformity of the meanes though with much opposition But yet so as an habituall indisposition shee had acquired spiced with the dregges of remaining temptations kept her off from endeavour never all this time having had any comfort or feeling without paines taking for it in the interim shee is well beaten God at length yeelding unto the importunity of prayers for her affords her such an immense measure of comfort and feeling for a small time as mortality was incapble to retaine After which her spirits thereby vanquished out-wearied with watching and incessant speaking for divers dayes and nights together for a small time shee bewrayes some weaknesse But upon a private Fast kept for her two dayes before her death shee revives againe maintaines her grounds former joyes and feeling from thence untill her death remaining in a silent Rapture of joyes wherein shee departed leaving her selfe the ever memorable mirror of Gods wonderfull mercies unto all the stiffe obdurate hard-hearted for ever And now good Reader tell mee Is it fit or possible that we should part with so grand strange rare and matchlesse a CASE without some briefe use thereof unto the Survivers for which cause it hath beene written and for ought wee know all her sufferings were O no courage then hold out a little and I will now dispatch briefly endeavouring in the Catastrophe of this our Tragi-Comedie to recompence thy patience with the fragrances of some sweet smelling close of some Divine rarities Vse First Then here wee may learne That not the great things of this world makes one happy but the favour of the great God Nothing being able to content the soule but that which is able to fill it which all this world cannot doe Shewing that there is nothing such in these earthly things as wee imagine in the evill day or times of tryall Witnesse this good Gentlewoman the subject of our discourse who might have swimmed in the fulnesse of all earthly pleasures all which were nothing unto her shee was dampt in the midst of all so as nothing could revive or joy her like unto David save the light of Gods countenance to be lifted up upon her And therefore not to deceive our selves but to settle in our judgements that wherein onely true solid lasting happinesse consists the favour of God and follow that with all our might Secondly Then see hence That of all the Burthens in this world sinne is the most insupportable especially when therewith in any measure is joyned a sense of the wrath of God For if God as it is in Amos complaine that hee is pressed down under the same as a Cart under the sheaves the sense thereof also making David to roare for griefe of heart having also bred so much terror amazement and trouble unto this good Gentlewoman for so many yeares together being free of grosse sinnes what may they think of themselves who goe on sinning without feare living and going on in grosser sins without repentance Thirdly Here we may see That in the best where there is sinne there must and will bee smarting punishments though it be forgiven as Davids was Yet we may soundly be beaten for the same he taking vengeance of our inventions as the Psalmist speaks for this good Gentlewoman though saved and forgiven yet was soundly beaten ere shee departed hence Therefore to bee afraid to sinne and to stand in awe of the anger of the great God for though hee may forgive yet if hee open Hell unto us keep us in perpetuall fear as upon the rack as he did this good Gentlewoman letting Satan loose to buffet her oh what comfort can we have in such a tormenting dying life having our happinesse hid from our eyes Fourthly Hence also we may learn That the more beloved usually the soundlier beaten sifted and tried Amos 3. You only have I known of all the Nations of the Earth therefore you shall not goe unpunished for all your iniquities wherefore corrections being a sign of love not of reprobation as the Devill perswades that the Saints should not be discouraged though storme-beaten in their journey homewards they may goe to Heaven for all this as this good Gentlewoman did Fifthly And so here also we may gather what need we have of patience to have its perfect work in us to fit us for the greatest and most smarting afflictions there being yet some light in this darke cloud the sorest and most smarting crosses ending usually in the greatest and most glorious deliverances Witnesse the none-such troubles of Iacob Ioseph Iob David the Churches forty years Pilgrimage in the Wildernesse of this good Gentlewoman all ending in peace and joy because the promise is that of necessity the patient abiding of the
righteous must needs end in joy Sixthly Then also we see here that crosses and afflictions are only lesser and greater as it pleases the great God to set them on lesse or more as it pleases him to abstract the light of his countenance from us turn loose Satan upon us enfatuate our judgements giving us some taste and sense of his encensed wrath Oh! who then can dwell with such everlasting burnings and if smaler sins discovered thus set on and torment yea some thoughts only as in this good Gentlewoman Oh! what may the greater doe if he should aggravate them discovering the wrath due unto them without a suitable sight of mercy Therefore to break off our sins betimes repent of them and to sow for our selves in righteousnesse that wee may have a sure reward and bee able at last to stand with boldnesse before the Son of Man Seventhly So seeing too eager desire of feeling cost this Gentlewoman so deare though shee had her desire therefore not to dote too much upon it being restlesse untill they have it as many good soules doe who like Rachel restlesse for children cryd out still comfort comfort feeling feeling or else wee die But let them be contented of what measure thereof God of his infinite wisedome thinks best for them For He who hath created them for eternity of glory surely knowes the best meanes and way to bring them thither Seeing feeling at the best is uncertaine short and quickly vanishing and too much doted upon and eagerly persued brings us onely to a habit of discontentment without it whilst wee cannot bee contented unlesse every day the Almighty feast us forgetting that wee walk by faith and not by sight and that the life we now live in the flesh is by the Faith of the Son of God vision and sense for to come Eighthly Then behold from this rare experience here this lesson Not to prescribe or appoint God a way which way to bring us unto glory Hee knew the fittest and shortest way to have brought the children of Israel unto the Land of Canaan without passing through a red sea But out of his infinite wisedome he made choyce of the wildernesse way unto them That as Moses shewes hee might prove them try them and doe them good at their latter end And yet how crooked soever his wayes seem unto our corrupted senses they bee alwayes straight how full soever of turnings and windings as the Psalmists That hee brought them out by a right way unto Canaan Therefore to rest confident herein that this which God appoints is alwayes best for us whether hee lead us in a wildernesse in a a straight crooked smooth tedious long afflicted way by the gates of Hell unto Heaven or with a more gentle comfortable gale of joy let us be contented so he bring us thither as hee did this good woman here if by any meanes wee attaine unto a joyfull Resurrection of the Dead it is a very great purchase as Paul acknowledges Ninthly For which is the next Sure it is Seeing a glance of Heaven a little taste of heavenly joy is so prevalent to make us to forget all even an age of afflictions as this good Gentlewoman found who thereupon forgot all her by-past troubles swallowed up in surmounting joyes I say if a touch a taste a short glance onely bee so forcible and ravishing How surmountingly excellent glorious and revishing shall that estate bee to drink at the fountaine head of the beatificall vision out of the rivers of his pleasures for ever Therefore to rest confident and patient in all afflictions seeing our comforts are at length beyond all our crosses seeing God ruines none by afflictions but purges purifies cleanses whitens enlightens and fits us thereby to bee vessels capacious of so much the more glory out of the ruines of the flesh erecting framing and building up that glorious structure of the new creature to mount up at length out of the wildernesse of this world fraught with Myrrhe and Frankincense and all the spices of the Merchant unto eternity of glory for ever Tenthly Next hence observe That God never comes too late unto his servants but will alwayes bee seene in the Mount making our extremities his opportunities as he did unto Abraham in Isaac's case and as this good Gentlewoman found who being much afflicted comfortlesse for many yeares together even at the point of death yet at length hee was entreated came and revived her in a swifter course then the running swift Charets of Aminadab nay came flying as it were upon the wings of the winde passing ans skipping by all the hills of sinnes and mountaines of her corruptions when in her appearing last suit unto him and extreame weaknesse she had beg's now at length once before her death to open the brazen gates of her hard heart that the King of glory might enter in which was abundantly done Therefore though he stay never so long let all the hard-hearted gaine by this experience of hers with the Churches resolution in Isaiah I will wait upon him who hides his face from the house of Iacob and I will look for him and reason good For he never failes of comming being waited for and engaged by so many promises wherein it is impossible for him to deny himselfe Eleventhly Further also hence wee may learn how to deale with those in affliction in whatsoever Case View them well first be not too brief with them Heare them vent themselves Try the symptomes and pulses of their disease as Iobs three friends who sate it is written seven dayes and nights silent because thay saw his griefe was great for unseasonable comforts are and prove but like raine falling upon hard stones which runs off as fast as it comes making no impressions whilst their buzzing heads and transported spirits are gadding plodding elsewhere with strong diversions as it fell out with this good Gentlewomen who passed not for all was said unto her for a long time neither was hope of cure untill the Devils counsell was bewrayed 1. Therefore it behoves to be circumspect and patient awhile to finde out the cause and circumstances of distempers or else no good can bee done for though counsell in the heart of a man be like deep waters yet Salomon shewes that a man of understanding will fetch it out 2. And then his counsell being bewrayed the Patient must be mildly meekly and gently used not hald and puld hurried and chid O no this is a wrong course but used with abundant patience and love waited upon with many good words and suffered to bemoane themselves as much as they list repeating one thing still over and over againe as often as they please Many good things fit for them must be uttered in their hearing not too soone pressd upon them as spoken unto others they must have here a little and there a little not pressd beyond their strength wonne by degrees with a loving sweet affable carriage as all these yeares