THE Righteous Man's HOPE AT DEATH Consider'd and Improv'd for the Comfort of Dying Christians and the Support of Surviving Relations To which is Added Death-bed Reflections c. Proper for a Righteous Man in his Last Sickness By Samuel Doolittle This was the first Sermon the Author Preacht after the Death of his Mother Mrs. Mary Doolittle who deceased Decemb. 16. 1692. and is since enlarged LONDON Printed for Thomas Cockerill at the Three Leggs in the Poultrey over against Stocks-Market 1693. TO His Loving Sisters Mrs Mary Sheafe Mrs Tabitha Hearne Mrs Susanna Pool Mrs Sarah Dawson Mrs Martha Doolittle Dear Sisters THAT Infinitely Wise God who does what he will and gives not account of any of his Matters Job 33. 13. has made a breach upon us That God who gave at first and for many years continued has now removed from us a dear and tender Mother This Arrow that killed one wounded all that Stroke that took away Life from her took away an excellent Wife from our honoured Father and a dear Mother from you and me At once fatal hour she was left a breathless Corps he a solitary Widdower and we Motherless Children What a sad and sudden change is made in Persons and Families when Death knocks at the door and enters in The Root now is dead and dry tho' the many Branches are yet spar'd For many years God continued us an entire Family The Destroying Angel that knockt at many doors visited many houses pass'd by ours When the Ax has been laid at the Root of many Families when many Branches have been lopt off and many Trees hewn and cut down we stood in the Vineyard untoucht But Death will come and a parting time will come Will come alas it is come The sweetness of her Temper the greatness of her Love the tenderness of her Affection the Grace of God in her whatever might endear a Mother rendered her company delightful and her presence a great part of our earthly happiness But God would have her home and would not that the Mansion designed for her should stand any longer empty That Body which had many Infirmities and which a-while-a-go with grief and tears we beheld pined and wasted consum'd and worn with languishing sickness is now at rest And the more noble Soul is now among the Spirits of Just men made perfect Thus hath Heb. 12. 23. her heavenly Father disposed of her and is it not time to think what is our work and duty is it to weep and mourn While she lived she was worthy to be loved and now she is dead she is worthy to be lamented and silent Tears will and may speak what words must not Hath Death remov'd and the Grave buried her out of our sight did she take leave of us with her cold and dying Lips and is she gone and must we see her no more Sad thought may we not weep and mourn we may we ought but yet there is something of greater importance that such Providences call for and should be the employment of surviving Relations The Red has been speaking and yet speaks Lord grant we may hear the Voice and understand the Language know the meaning and obey the Call of it Death hath been speaking the Grave with open mouth hath been speaking her last Sickness Decease and Funeral have been speaking O that I and you may have an Ear to hear what this Providence saith While she was with us she spent that little time and the less breath she had in speaking for God's Glory and the good of others Oh! never forget that Affectionate Exclamation Oh love the Lord all ye my Children And being dead she yet speaketh and with Heb. 11. 4. a louder Voice too She had no greater Joy than to see her Children walking in the Truth No doubt you are Children of many Prayers and Tears she travailed with you again and long'd to see Christ formed in you and I doubt not but it was a comfort to see such probable grounds to hope you were born again That you were not only born of her but born of Water and the Holy Spirit and I will venture to say she loved none so much for bearing John 3. 5. her Likeness as for having the Image of God Her highest ambition was to see you good holy and living in the Fear of God and when you were to change your condition and enter into a Married state her earnest desire was you might Marry in the Lord and be disposed of to such as might further not hinder you in the way 1 Cor. 7. 39. to Heaven it did delight her to my knowledge in her last Sickness that some of you have such Her early Instructions serious Counsels seasonable Reproofs holy Example fervent Prayers and many Tears spoke Love to your precious and Immortal Souls What but this was the Language of all Lord save me and mine too let me go to Heaven and let my dear Children follow after Be thou a God Friend and Father to me and them bind up my 1 Sam. 25. 29. Soul and the Souls of mine in the bundle of Life And now blessed be God all of this kind has not been in vain She lived to see the fruit of her labour and her Prayers in part answered and what is given I hope and I pray God it may be but the first-fruits earnest and pledge of what is yet behind Have you begun well and are you set out in your Journey to Heaven Go on and hold out Has the Spirit enlightened renewed and changed you Have you the Likeness of God and the Image of Christ Have you given up your selves in a serious and solemn manner to the Blessed Trinity Father Son and Holy Spirit Is sin your grief and burden the object of your sorrow and hatred do you oppose resist and fight against it persevere to the end and the Crown is yours Let nothing discourage you if the way be rugged and your Journey tedious if you are threatned with Storms and Tempests if you find it hard to watch and pray to wrestle and conflict to deny your selves live by Faith and perform many duties which are contrary to corrupt Nature don't faint tire and give out Heaven is at the end of your Journey and Heaven oh believe and think oft on it will make amends for all When once you are there with an over-flowing Joy will you think of these Afflictions Crosses and Disappointments for then you shall see know and be fully convinc'd that Infinite Wisdom made them all serviceable to your Eternal Welfare Tho' the flesh is pain'd and smarts yet a time will come when you shall praise your heavenly Father for seasonable Chastisements and the Discipline of his Rod. Tho' the flesh may be uneasie and the burden may pinch you tho' the Rod may make you groan and weep tho' Satan may tempt and your own hearts may be ready to question your Relation to and Covenant-Interest in
must not now pass from me I may imitate my dear Saviour in the like circumstances chearfully saying Father not my will but thine be done The arguments I have â—uk 22. 42. used are weighty and serious sufficient to convince my judgment stop my mouth and make me silent but after all O pity pardon and help me I find I am backward and loth to die now Lord make me content content that 's too little make me desirous to die and to die now God forbid that after all my Soul should be violently rent and torn from me Lord Let me have such a firm belief of a future happiness such lively hopes and clear evidences of my right and title to it such a burning and flaming love to thee my God to thee my Saviour such pleasing foretasts of Heavenly joys such a reviving prospect of that glorious future state that I might overcome the fears of Death the terrors of the Grave and Triumph over both That I may long and pant desire groan and wish to be with Christ which I must and do acknowledge to be far better Lord inspire my departing Soul with that Faith Hope and Love that I may now glorifie Thee credit Religion and commend thy holy Ways that I may strengthen the weak and encourage the fearful by a chearful and willing comfortable and triumphant departure Sanctifie these afflictions and pains and this present sickness to me and let them put me upon longing after Heaven where are none answer my doubts expel my fears arm and fortifie comfort and encourage my weak drooping and trembling Soul and the nearer I draw to my end the more warm and earnest let my desires be Oh for thy holy Spirit to excite those Heavenly and Spiritual desires in me which I cannot raise in my self O thou almighty and victorious Jesus who hast conquer'd Death and the Grave enable me in these my last moments to triumph over them saying O DEATH where is thy Sting O GRAVE where is 1 Cor. 15. 55. thy victory Many experiences have I had of thy Grace and Mercy love and kindness O my Saviour forsake me not now in this my last extremity O Blessed Jesu who hast been my support and help in Life be my Strength my Comfort and my Joy at Death While in this my last sickness I have been speaking sometimes to my self and sometimes unto God I have obtain'd the Mercy I wanted and laboured after a willingness to die now my doubts are answered my fears remov'd my sins are pardoned God is reconciled my Conscience pacified my hopes are lively my evidences clear my assurance strong and my joy full and now thanks be to God how do I long to dye shall I be afraid of Death What! of a baffled vanquisht and conquer'd Enemy I am not I was but now blessed be God I am not Am I a Member of Christ a Son of God an Heir of Heaven and shall I be afraid of thee O Death through Grace O mine Enemy I am not Methinks I am already in the Suburbs of Heaven and I long to enter into that holy City I have a prospect of yonder blessed World and this prospect is so ravishing and transporting that I wish for a present possession No Heir ever longed more for his Inheritance no Captive ever longed more for Liberty no sick and pained man ever longed more for ease than I now do for Heaven When I am there what charming musick shall I hear what glorious sights shall I behold what blessed and delightful company shall I have what joy will enter into possess and fill this Soul of mine what a Mansion of Light and Glory shall I enter into when I have put off this earthly Tabernacle how does a thought of this make my fettered and yet imprisoned Soul cry out How long Lord how long farewel vain World farewel not Earth but Heaven is my home and I long groan and wish to be there Is the time of my departure at hand Is the time come that I must die Lord I do submit thy holy will be done My Body I chearfully bequeath unto the dust O faithful grave keep what I commit unto thee this Body till my Lord shall come and then deliver it up In the dust shall this flesh of mine sleep and rest in hope My Soul my pretious and immortal Soul O my God I resign to thee into thine hand I commit my Spirit Thou Psal 31. 5. hast redeemed me O Lord God of truth Father into 〈◊〉 â—ands I commit my Spirit Lord Luk. 23. 46. Acts 7. 59. Jesus 〈…〉 Must I die now Lord 〈◊〉 in thy will believing thy promise trusting in thy mercy thro' the ALL-SUFFICIENT MERITS of thy Son and my Saviour I wait wait Lord I long for the happy moment And my last Petition and dying prayer shall be Come Lord Jesus come qickly Rev. 22. 20. 1 Thes 4. 17. that I might be for ever with the Lord come Lord Jesus come quickly Amen Amen FINIS
God his Love to you or yours to him because it is so and so with you yet don't say nay don 't so much as think there are any more bitter Ingredients in your Cup than are necessary than both the Wisdom and Bowels of a Father advise Is Satan busie to fill you with doubts and fears needless suspicions and groundless jealousies does he draw a Curtain before or cast a Veil upon your faces does he labour to magnifie your Sins blot your Evidences and extinguish your Hope and are you cast down and go mourning all the day long because of this why should you is it not an Argument Satan has lost his game and you are none of his Slaves because he thus disquiets you Do you mourn after God and pant and breathe for him is it nothing but the light of his Countenance the smiles of his Face and a sense of his Love can content you Are you looking to see the Image of God upon your hearts and is it your grief and trouble you cannot see it so plain and legible as you should and would and desire and hereupon do you conclude you have no Grace What! when even these tears and groans tell you you have Tho' you may walk in darkness as many Children of Light have and do yet stay your selves on God and wait for him Oh how easily and quickly can the breath of God scatter all these Clouds which darken your Souls and the Light of his Countenance make a bright and a joyful day Having this opportunity to testifie my Love to you especially to your Souls I shall beg and presume on my Readers patience while upon this occasion I give you some counsels which I pray God may be useful to you and many more in the like circumstances I. Bless God it was your Lot and Happiness to be born of such holy Parents whereof one is taken and the other is yet left To be the Off-spring of them who are the Children of God to be the Postcrity of those who themselves are born from and have an Alliance to Heaven to descend from them who are the Dear and Antient Friends of God to be born of them who have a Convenant-Interest in God and can lay claim to the Covenant both for themselves and theirs how great a mercy what an invaluable Priviledge is it I am far from saying that Grace runs in a Blood that Children are Heirs to the Graces as they are to the Riches of their Parents but yet it is a Priviledge to be born of such I do and I would have you heartily bless God for it How sad a thought is it I am born of them who are Enemies to God Slaves to these Lusts and Servants to the Devil What a sad Example do such set before their poor Children in case they live and what a dreadful Legacy how many Woes and Curses do they bequeath to 'em in case they die before ' em I know sometimes sovereign Grace that even of Stones can Matth. 3. 9. raise up Children to Abraham cuts off the Entail But more frequently they tread in their Fathers steps and bear their Iniquities But how comfortable is it to sit down and think God a long time before my Birth order'd I should be born of such and such who were his familiar Friends and dear Servants I have a Father a Mother in whom I can see the Image of God who are united to Christ and sanctified by the Holy Spirit Is it not a mercy to be the Children of such Are not they more likely in a serious conscientious and sober manner to devote and dedicate their new-born Infants in Baptism to God when others only complement with God and bring them to the Laver of Regeneration out of Custom Ceremony and for Fashion sake they will do it with a deep sense of God's Goodness and Mercy And great may be the benefit of this solemn Transaction and early Dedication Will not such Parents when they look upon their own act and deed and remember what they promised in the Name and stead of their Children be put upon performing consequent Duties as earnest and servent Prayer to God for them a timely instructing them in the Christian Religion setting before 'em an holy Example and watching over their first early and ungovern'd years and how beneficial may all this be are not such Children like to have the benefit of an holy Religious Education which very oft God blesses to Conversion however may they not be kept from many open scandalous and conscience-wounding sins which in Youth They are inclined to and Others commit may not and has not God blessed such for their Father's sake These are does the great God as it were say the Children of my Covenant-servants they were born in my Family enter'd into my Service and I will be their God as I was the God of their Father and Mother their Holy Parents devoted them to me and I accepted set my mark upon them they are mine and they shall be mine and know what it is to be born of those who were my Friends and Favourites What is the peculiar priviledge of such Truly the Children of such Parents owe more thanks to God upon this account than usually they are aware of How few on their Knees heartily acknowledge God's Goodness and mercy to 'em in this respect while others pride themselves in the greatness of their Family the nobleness of their descent and that they have more pure and refined blood running in their Veins than others Bless the Lord O my Soul that I had a Father who was a Son and a Mother who was a Daughter of God This Children should do not only while Parents are alive but when dead a deep sense and a thankful acknowledgement of God's goodness should survive their Funeral render their memory very very pretious and force lively praises from us when they are faln asleep Let me add that this duty is most reasonable and the neglect of it most culpable if God hath blessed all or any of their endeavours to our Conversion Were they under God the means of our first and second birth the instruments of conveying Natural and Spiritual Life Is it owing to them that we are Men and Women and to their Prayers and Tears instructions and counsels that we are Christians Did God bless our Education and was it the means of an early and lasting Piety Our Debt is increas'd and a double Tribute of Praise is owing to God II. Learn how to make use of urge and plead this priviledge with your selves and with God With your selves that you may live and act as Children of such Parents with God that you may have the Blessings and Mercies which belong to such Vrge it upon and plead it with your own Souls that you may suppress Sin resist Temptation and live in the constant and lively performance of Holy Duties Israel makes use of this Argument He is my God and I will prepare
Righteous as interested in the perfect Righteousness of our Lord Jesus Christ Christs Righteousness was not only for himself but for his members though this be inherent in the Person of the Mediator yet we have as much benefit by it as if it were Subjectively in us The Sufferings and Death of Christ were not for his own Sin but ours He was made Sin 2 Cor. 5. 21 for us i. e. our Propitiatory Sacrifice and We are made the righteousness of God in him we have the fruit of his bitter sufferings and cruel death He fulfilled the Law satisfied Justice and paid our Debt and for his sake God looks upon and deals with believers as righteous persons As the disobedience of the first Adam makes us Sinners so the perfect and sinless obedience of Christ the second makes us Righteous As our sins were laid upon Christ in order to his bearing the punishment so his righteousness by a gracious and favourable act of God our Supream Judge is made ours in order to justification Our own righteousness is both a filthy and ragged garment through this God our final Judge will spy the deformity and nakedness of our Souls and Christ our Elder Brother infinite grace covereth us with the unspotted robe of his own Christ took our sins and gives us his righteousness blessed Exchange From Adam our natural Root and Father we derive Guilt Weakness and Death from Christ our Spiritual Head we have Righteousness Strength and Life Isa 45. 24. and therefore he is stiled THE LORD Jer. 23. 6. OUR RIGHTEOUSNESS This is the only Righteousness we must make mention of when judged according to the Law given to Adam in innocency A Penitent and believing Sinner that receiveth Christ Jesus the Lord is for Christs sake esteemed reckoned accounted and dealt with as a righteous Person Though this righteousness be of a peculiar consideration and cannot be thought to be meant in all those places where this word righteous occurreth yet it is absolutely necessary for Christ and what he hath suffered and done is the Spring Cause and Foundation of our hope The immediate and doleful consequent of being without Christ is to be Eph. 2. 12. without hope in the World This fruit grows no where but upon Christs Cross it is his Death that made Heaven possible to a fallen and Apostate creature and it is the sprinkling of this Blood that revives our languishing withering and dying Hopes Oh! Blessed are they who having no righteousness or at least but a maim'd defective and imperfect one of their own are interested in the Righteousness of Christ in the Righteousness of God! III. A man is Righteous and may be denominated so from that personal Evangelical righteousness that is inherent in himself We must not only be interested in the Righteousness of another without us but have one that is really subjected in our selves Or which is all one we must not only have Righteousness imputed but Holiness imparted Christ doth not only cover our running sores and ulcers but undertakes as our Physitian to cure them All Righteousness as hath been already hinted consists in a relation to some Law and that we might truly State what this Evangelical Righteousness is that hath so great a Privilege entail'd upon it as this in the Text I hope none will be offended if we distinguish as we find the Apostle Paul doth of the Law of Works and the Rom. 3. 25. Law of Faith the one framed to the State of an Innocent the other adapted to the condition of an Apostate Creature According to this latter it is that those who have once been Sinners may be made and denominated Righteous That part of the Gospel revelation which contains and discovers our Duty what we are to be and do in order to our Blessedness being as to the matter of it the whole Moral Law before appertaining to the Covenant of Works attempered to the State of fallen Sinners by Evangelical mitigations and indulgence by the Super-added Precepts of Repentance and Faith in a Mediator with all the other duties respecting the Mediator as such and cloathed with a new form as it is now taken into the Mr. How 's Blessedness of the Righteous p. 26. constitution of the Covenant of Grace is the rule of this righteousness He that solemnly repents of his wretched Apostacy from God and all the sins that have followed thereupon he that is united to Christ by Faith and yields sincere though imperfect obedience from an active and living principle within he that is renewed and changed turned from the love of sin in his heart and the practice of it in his Life he that hath solemnly and deliberately sincerely and unfeignedly covenanted with God and dedicated himself to the Sacred and Glorious Trinity Father Son and Spirit and lives suitably to such a devoted State He that is born of God bears his Image lives in communion with and walks in conformity to him is righteous Though his bloody issue may not be wholy dried up though there be indwelling sin in the heart and some sins and falls in the Life though no grace be perfect as to degree yet if there be SINCERITY and UPRIGHTNESS Oh! look after that he is a righteous man The Law calls for perfection but the Gospel Oh! thanks be to God we are under such a merciful favourable and gentle dispensation accepts sincerity This righteousness is not meer morality a being just and honest in our dealings this is the righteousness of an Heathen It is not an external observation of the Letter of the Law this is the righteousness of a Pharisee and ours must exceed his or we cannot Enter into the Kingdom Mat. 5. 30. of Heaven It is not a single act but a stated temper it is not an obedience that Proceeds from rotten but what flows from sincere and gracious Principles denominates a man Righteous A wicked man may do some acts of Devotion and Piety Charity and Justice Sobriety and Temporence but because the setled bent and inclination of his will is another way he is not righteous And though a good man may be guilty of some Errors and miscarriages in his Life yet while this living Principle remains and is not extinct we may and if we will speak in the Language of the Gospel we must call him a righteous Man This Righteousness is nothing but a transcript of the blessed Gospel a conformity in the inward and outward man in spirit and practice to the Divine Revelation made by Jesus Christ A renewed and vital principle in the heart exerting its self in suitable deportments to God and man In summ Repentance from dead Works and new Obedience impregnated by Faith and Love are the two essentiating and constitutive parts of this Gospel Righteousness For the establishing of this notion it is not necessary to insist on any laborious Proof when a great part of the Bible speaks to this purpose Hear once
and that before they can get thither Faith may and very often does give them a refreshing ravishing and transporting prospect of Heaven Oh! How oft after such a view does the Soul flutter in the Christiâ—ans breast clap its wings and would â—in be gone But Death only can wast us over to and give us the possession of it In short Gods Children die that they may go home I might further add there seems some necessity of dying upon the account of the Body What should this terrene dull and heavy Body do in Heaven How unsuitable is it as it is now to that Place and State to that Company and Work and to be the Instrument of a glorified Soul It must undergo a change that it may be capacitated for this We must be Vncloathed of this Earthly that we may 1 Cor. 5. 4. Be cloathed upon with a Spiritual Body And we must die that Mortality may be swallowed up of Life These Old Houses that are ever and anon tottering and shaking must be pulled down by the hands of Death that we may have new and better This Body must be sown in the dust that it may Spring up more Beautiful Fresh and Comely our Bodies like foul Waters by running through the Earth are Purged and Purified God will not put his New Wine into these Old Mat. 9. 17. Bottles And indeed if he should they would quickly burst and therefore he suffers Death to break that he might have an opportunity to new make them It is to no purpose to say that God can make what alteration and change he pleases and is necessary in the very instant of Translation and what need is there the Body should Die lie in the Grave so long Rot and Putrifie in the Dust For though God can do it in this way he willeth to do it in the other and Who art thou O MAN that thou repliest Rom. 9. 20. against God Upon these accounts Death seemeth necessary to Good Men And that we might not live in continual Fear in Slavish Bondage and a perpetual Torment because of this necessity I now proceed Thirdly To consider what and how great the Priviledge of the Righteous is when he comes to the last Scene of his Life and Death is about to turn him off the Stage We have seen the dark side of the Cloud The Righteous die Let us now turn our Eye and view the bright side The Righteous hath hope in his death Sweet words comfortable thought glorious priviledge with this hope Lord how Psa 23. 4. comfortably may they walk thro' the Valley of the shadow of death and fear no evil You have heard heard You have seen seen Oh how often have you seen that the Righteous die as well as the Wicked that Death preys upon and the Grave swallows up one as well as the other Have you not many and many a time visited them when sickness had lodged them in their Chambers and confin'd them to their Beds Have you not heard their last sobs and groans seen their dying pangs and agonies Have you not clos'd their Eyes laid them in their Cossins and often attended their Funeral followed them to their long Home and lest them in dust and darkness Behold the Righteous die but how dieth the Righteous as the Wicked no verily as they do not live so neither do they die as the Wicked A righteous man may have the same disease be exercised with the same pains and feel the same pangs in a dying hour But upon a spiritual account the difference is vastly wide and great he hath hope in his death Before I distinctly consider what is the Object of this Hope to prevent any mistake it is necessary to premise these two things 1. Every righteous person every man that falls within the already-mentioned Character i. e. every sincere and upright Christian hath ground of hope in his death This does not only belong to some special favourites but is common to all who have God for their Father The Promises which are the foundation of a Christian Hope are not made only to Apostles and eminent Saints to men of renown in the Church but they belong to nay are the Birth-right of even those who are but Babes in Christ All that are born again tho' all are not of the same growth stature and strength are Children Rom 8. 17. and therefore Heirs They have right Col. 1. 12. to and may live and die in hope of the Inheritance of the Saints in light Heaven is sure to them by the Promise of the Father the Purchase of the Son and the In-dwelling of the Holy Spirit who is the Earnest and Pledge of it And the weakest Believer the least of Saints hath ground to hope The Gospel is so ordered the Covenant is so methodiz'd God hath made such ample Provision that every one may have good hope thro' 1 Thes 2. 16 Grace and all that bear this Character are allowed encouraged nay commanded to hope Their hoping is as mighty a pleasure to God as it is a comfort to themselves Hath the blessed Jesus poured out prayers and tears and blood did he groan and die on the Cross that they might have a Mansion above Hath the Holy Spirit in pursuance of the same blessed design been at the pains to renew convert and change them Hath he restor'd them to the image and likeness of God that they might be capable of the enjoyment of him Is he daily forming and attempering their spirits more and more for the heavenly state and employment Hath God the Father in his Eternal Counsels design'd Heaven for them Hath he made them many express and plain Promises of it and can he take it ill they live and die in hope Lord how infinitely unreasonable are we and how do we discourage the Death of the Son the work of the Spirit and the Promises of the Father nay not only naked Promises but Promises repeated over and over seal'd and confirm'd with an Oath by encouraging our doubts and fears all these may and ought to hope May I says many a doubting Christian hope I am but weak in Grace and but a Babe in Christ I have done but little for God and Christ I have but few Talents and them I have not employed and improved as I should and might I was the chiefest of Sinners and now am the least of Saints the very meanest among my spiritual Brethren there are none but love God more and serve him better and bring a greater Revenue of Glory to him than I either do or can or shall while others shine as the Sun in the Firmament of the Church I am but as a poor small and twinkling Star and may I hope to be saved is not Heaven and the happiness thereof too great too glorious a Reward for me Oh! had I the Grace the Faith and Love the Humility and Meekness the Self-denial and Patience the Zeal and Courage c.
in Purgatory pains equal in degree to those of Hell tho' not so lasting but they immediately go to Heaven This day says our Saviour to the penitent Thief the Companion Luk. 23. 43. of his Cross shalt thou be with me in Paradise And the reason of Paul's earnest and vehement desire to depart was that Phil. 1. 23. he might be with Christ The Gates of Heaven are open'd they enter in and they happy Souls are welcomed by God Christ Angels and all their Elder Brethren who died in the Lord and went to Heaven before them With what joy does God the Father receive those Souls for whom he designed Heaven from all Eternity With what joy does the blessed Jesus welcome those Souls to Glory for whom and whose Salvation he wept and sweat bled and died Oh what a joy is it to the heart of Jesus to see them past all the dangers and hazards of a troublesom Voyage and safely arriv'd at his Fathers house With what a triumphant joy are they welcomed by Angels and the whole Assembly of the spirits of just men made perfect Oh how glad are all those kind and loving spirits to see others come to Heaven who shall be sharers with them in one and the same undivided happiness and parners with them in singing Hallelujahs to God and to the Lamb It is no small joy to them that more Voices are added to the heavenly Quire I may the dying Christian say must leave Earth the house in which I have lived so long death is about to open a door for my immortal Spirit to go out at and methinks I see my God my Jesus opening the Gate of Heaven I hope when death has turn'd it out of this frail and earthly Tabernacle God and Christ will receive it into Everlasting Habitations I shall not want a Lodging for God hath prepared and Christ hath purchased a glorious Mansion for me Go out O my Soul with holy joy and triumph hasten be gone for lo thy Throne is prepared and yet stands empty When I am dead my surviving Friends will weep for me with sighs and groans lament my departure but God Christ Angels and Saints will welcome my Soul to Heaven Surely those holy Spirits who rejoyced when I was converted and born again will sing a new Song a peculiar Psalm of Praise to their God and my God when I am born into Eternity A thought that when I shall knock at the Gate of Heaven and say Lord Lord open to me I should hear that sad word I Luk. 13. 2â— know thee not would even break my heart trouble me more than the pains and agonies of a thousand deaths But I hope for a free admission a speedy entrance and a joyful welcome And oh that I were there Fifthly They hope to go to better Friends better Company and have that Vision of God and Christ which cannot be had on this side the Grave In this World good and bad Saints and Sinners the Righteous and the Wicked live together and what a grief and torment is the very presence and company of these Devils in flesh to those who really intend and in good earnest design Heaven Here they enjoy the company of holy Relations and godly Friends who are many ways useful and helpful to them and no doubt they very often and heartily bless God for the â—ommunion of Saints But the best here are imperfect there is something in the best that their conversation is not so taking and suitable so sweet and endearing as we could with How oft do they prove a scandal and stumbling block to us or we an offence and grief to them but at death they go to better to such as love them more and wish better to them than their dearest Relations here can do To Friends who love each other as themselves To Friends in whose Conversation there is nothing but what is peculiarly delightful and pleasant sweet and amiable charming and endearing most highly grateful and obliging To Friends who are utter and perfect strangers to that four and peevish morose and selfish temper which prevails too much in this wretched and degenerate World of ours To Friends who partake of and share in one anothers joys and are as much pleas'd with the happiness of others as with their own To Friends whose tempers will be agreeable whose looks will be pleasant whose hearts will be free and open whose speeches will be ravishing and all whose discourses will be seraphick and sublime and yet set off with all the graceful Airs of a Charming Rhetorick Further while we dwell in flesh and sojourn here below we see God but thro' a glass and that very darkly too To day we enjoy and are ravisht with some views of him and perhaps to morrow nay it may be before night the Curtain is drawn or a cloud interposes and we cannot see him But after death we if we fall under the Character of the Text shall see him Face to Face by a light which is more clear constant and lasting Now we delight in believe on desire after and love that blessed Jesus whom we have not yet seen But after Death we shall see him as he is and will not every view of Jesus be transporting will 1 John 3. 2. not every glance be the Spring of a new and fresh joy What is the language of Death to a Holy Soul but this Come see and enjoy that God whom thou hast long waited for and looked after Come and see that Jesus who out of a deep pity and compassion wept and groaned bled and died for thee Come take thy place in Heaven where thou mayest glut and satisfie thâ— greedy eye with these ravishing sights dost thou long Holy Soul dost thou long for the vision of God and a sight of Christ Come and have it though my looks are Grim my hands cold Don't draw back for none but I can wast thee over to Heaven where God and Christ are to be fully and for ever enjoy'd Is this the language of Death Then what may be the language of the dying Christian Hearken don't you hear him saying The day is dawn'd the time is come the hour is now hastning that I must be gone my Physitians neglecting any further prescriptions your passionate weeping and silent tears O my sorrowful Friends The sensible decays I find in my self in those parts which live the longest and die the last all tell me my end is near Here I have Relations who are Loving Careful and Tender many Friends hath God raised up to me and made them instrumental for my good but I can willingly chearfully bid farewell to all for I hope to go to an Assembly of better Friends and more perfect Lovers I have had those sights of God in the Sanctuary that have been sweeter to me than all the pleasures of this vain World but I hope for a fuller view and a more ravishing sight of that glorious being Can't I see God
shame and at last die in horror and despair Sickness and Death O vain man will shake thy hopes The Sentence of thy Judge and and the Flames of Hell will dash them Hope may accompany thee while thou livest go with thee to the very borders of the Eternal World and then at farthest it will bid farewel to thy amazed and trembling Soul The time will come believe it Sirs the time will come when you shall hope no more no more no more for ever This hope is worse than none for it hinders Mens repentance and all the kindness it does them is first to hood-wink and then damn them How fatal is this hope A wicked man can have no good hope either living or dying and that false hope he maintains and cherishes in health when sickness comes many times takes the wings of the morning and flies away In an hour he must remove out of one World into another but he hath no hope it shall be into a better He bequeaths his body to the dust his Estate and Goods to his surviving friends but he can not Lord what an Agony must the departing Soul be in with confidence commend his Spirit into the hands of Jesus He may hope his Friends will give his body a decent burial but he has no hope alas he has no hope Angels will conduct his Soul to glory Oh Death Death how terrible is it when there is no hope of a better life To awaken such let me add to die without good hope though it be bad is not all For the wicked as it is in the former part of this verse is driven away in his wickedness Sad words miserable ends Prov. 14. 32. Ere long Sinners Death will grasp thee in its cold Arms ere long Pale Death will sit in that face of thine that now is Fair and Ruddy and the seat of a Charming Beauty ere long Death will shackle those feet which brought thee to this assembly shut those eyes which are a window to let in vanity into thy mind stop those ears which have been delighted with filthy and unsavoury discourse ere long Death will drive thee out of the World thou must be confâ—â—ed to a narrow Coffin sleep in a Bed of dust under a coverlet of crawling Worms but this is not all no nor the greatest part of thy misery for thou shalt be driven away in thy wickedness Go out of the World guilty and accompanied with the sins of thy whole Life Death unties the knot and thy Soul is gone gone Whither is it gone Into the invisible World to the illightned Tribunal of a Just Impartial and Inexorable Judge Death sets open the Door and thy immortal Spirit immediately flies away and all thy sins like so many black and frightful Devils hasten and post after Thy Sins O man thy sins mount and ascend as fast as thy Spirit and will be at the Judgment-seat as soon as it Methinks a thought of this should make thine heart ake thy lips quiver rottenness enter into thy bones and force thee to cry out Good God! Whatever becomes of me let me not die in my sins An impenitent sinner goes into Eternity dogg'd by Devils and his own impure Lusts When he dies that hope which with artifice and cunning he maintain'd in his life-time forsakes his wretched and trembling Soul In one instant it is gone and gone for ever follow him from one World to to'ther from his sick-bed to the Bar of God Doleful Hour Infer II. Do and must the righteous die Then how does it concern us to make a good use of them while they live The righteous are the lights of the World like the Sâ—â— in the Firmament profitable and beneficial to all Though hereafter these wise Virgins cannot supply us with Oyl out of their Vessels to recruit our Lamps and maintain the expiring Flame yet at present they may like the Sun communicate of their light and heat to us How much Spiritual good may we receive by them and how careful should all be to make a wise improvement Have you an Holy Father a Godly Mother who pray for weep over and daily instruct you Hearken to their instructions follow their example take their counsel for they must die That Holy Father of thine who with compassion and tenderness begs of thee to remember God and thine own Soul that Godly Mother of thine who brought thee forth with pain and sorrow and is in travel with thee again till Christ be formed in Gal. 4. 19. thee must die And if thou dost not hearken to and improve their serious reproofs godly counsels and wholesome advice what a torment may the thought of it be when they are dead and gone Methinks I hear a negligent and careless Son being lately come from the grave of his holy Father or godly Mother in bitterness crying out God in giving me such holy Parents gave me a great mercy but I Oh wretched man that I am neither valued nor thankfully improved so great a blessing as should and might have done My Father my Mother that is now dead very often and that with tears told me of my sin and danger with abundance of kindness in the Spirit of meekness reproved me for my youthful follies and vanities with much Plainness and Holy Zeal they instructed and counselled informed and directed me they brought me to the Solemn Assembly and taught me at home they wept over me and prayed to God for me and put me upon secret Prayer and reading the Holy Scriptures but all this labour in whole or at least in great part has been lost as to me Might I not have been much better might I not have had more grace and holiness had I improved this blessing I had the same advantage may the wicked and disobedient Son say but I slighted the instructions of my holy Father and contemned the counseâ—â— of my godly Mother and now they are dead and gone how likely am I to die in my sins having not the same helps and advantages as I had when they were with me Such reflections Conscience being awakned by the hand and rod of God may be made when such holy Relations are taken away to prevent which let all especially the Children of Holy Parents improve the lives and company of such The like might be said as to Husbands and Wives Masters and Servants c. Labour to get as much good as you can by holy Relations Christian Friends and Acquaintance for these you shall not have always with you Infer III. How great is the mercy and goodness of God to his People though they are not exempted from Death Death sounds harsh the Grave is very frightful When we think the Friends of God the Members of Christ the Favourites of Heaven and the Followers of the Lamb must die are we not sometime posed and almost at a stand Are we not puzzled to reconcile the Death of such men with the goodness and love of God and those
and clear evidences there are of a future state and tho' Satan may raise Batteries against our Faith yet let us defend it and pray to God it may never fail Let Faith often travel into yonder Eternal World send it as a Spy to take a view of the Heavenly Canaan and firmly believe the report it brings back for our Faith must be stedfast if ever we would have our hope unshaken Secondly Walk closely with God and take heed of all known willful and presumptuous Sins Having solemnly dedicated your selves to the glory and service of the Blessed Trinity Father Son and Spirit walk according to that dedication Watch against every thing that may give a wound to your sincerity or cause you to question it If you would have hope in your Death live according to your Character Righteous persons What is the fruit of your sloth and negligence the consequent of your hearkning to sin and complying with temptation but perplexing jealousies and tormenting suspicions blotted evidences and languishing hopes want of assurance and the Heavenly joy that flows from thence Am I in a state of Grace and do I belong to God Will God reward such poor and mean performances with Heaven Is not my hope vain and only the counterfeit of that which is in true Christians Shall I ever be happy or may I venture to hope I shall Are the disconsolate reasonings of the careless Christian upon the neglect of duty and commission of sin It is thus and have not some of you found it so Willful and presumptuous sins will raise black and dark clouds between you and Heaven These clouds may eclipse the light of Gods countenance at present and break and fall down in terrible storms and tempests in the evening What a dreadful change did holy David find in himself after his unhappy and scandalous fall How did it damp his joy blot his evidences and stab his hopes Poor man he is wrapt up in clouds and darkness and in great distress and agonies of Soul cries to God Lord restore to me the joy of thy Salvation Psal 51. 12. and uphold me with thy free Spirit On the contrary an holy obedient life a strict and circumspect walking with God will both warrant and confirm our hope Heaven is promised to the obedient or in the language of the the Text to the righteous And every act of sincere obedience will enable me to see my right to the promise and apply it to my self and a constant and persevering obedience will be accompanyed with a full assurance of hope unto the end Holiness â—eâ— 6. 11. of heart and life will furnish me with an answer to all my doubts and fears afford me comfort amidst all my sad jealousies and perplexities of Spirit strengthen me to look as far as Heaven and enable me to read my name written there Our Hope as well as our Faith without works will be dead But a strong and lively a certain and confirmed hope will be the issue of an holy and obedient life It will entitle us to the promise and warrant our hope of the reward Would you then have hope in your Death Mortifie sin subdue corruptions and crucifie the old man keep up the Government of Grace and the Authority of Christ in your Souls watch against snares and temptations keep your garments undefiled and your selves unspottep Remember every willful sin wounds your hope Thirdly If through the strength of corruption and violence of temptation you chance to miscarry and fall endeavour to rise again by a solemn serious and speedy repentance We thanks be to God are not under the Law which requires a sinless spotless obedience as the condition of Life But under the Gospel of the meek and merciful Jesus which requires and admits of repentance And whenever we have wounded our selves by sin it is our interest and wisdom to betake our selves to this remedy Though you cannot keep your selves innocent yet be sure you do not live impenitent If you do defile your garments in one instant be sure you wash them with a flood of penitential tears the next Keep Conscience wakeful and tender that it may sharply reprove you when you do amiss and when Conscience looks upon you as Christ did upon Peter do you also go out Mat. 26. 75. and weep bitterly Let your repentance be serious and solemn with blushing and shame confusion and sorrow with hearty sighs and groans with a broken heart and contrite Spirit with a bleeding soul and melting affections With all the signs of a Gospel-repentance and unfeigned remorse confess and bewail your late sin or sins before God Let your confession be free and not forc't particular and not general and the more to affect melt and humble you aggravate your sin with the several circumstances which did attend the commission of it And then beg of God to pardon you Plead Christian plead as for thy life that that sin might not eclipse the light of his countenance deprive thee of the comforting and witnessing presence of his Spirit that it might not prove either the damnation of thy soul or the destruction of thy hopes And do all this speedily while the wound is fresh and green before it rankle and putrifie While you delay your repentance your hearts will grow more hard your conscience more insensible and the neglected bruise which you got by your fall will grow worse and worse and if it be not timely lookt after may prove the death of all your hopes After the heat and hurry of the day does conscience in the cool of the evening cite thee to make thy appearance in its Court Summon thee by some sudden rebuke and surprizing terror to hold up thy guilty hands at its Tribunal As soon as ever this Domestick Judge reads the Bill of Indictment and brings the bloody charge against thee betake thy self to a serious repentance revoke retract and wipe out thy sins by an immediate act of repentance 'T is true 't is infinitely better to be righteous persons who need no repentance i. e. to be guilty of as few sinful Luk. 15. 7. miscarriages as we can But in case we do fall we have this remedy at hand and we must use it If I sin in the day I ought to go and be reconciled to God and my own Conscience before night If we take this course our hope which was withering languishing and dying like grass scorcht with the heat of the burning Sun being watered with these showers of penitential tears may revive sprout forth and flourish again and be fresh in the very evening This is the way to have great peace in Life and at Death Fourthly Daily exercise Faith in Christ especially as Crucified and Risen from the Dead Christ by his Blood-shed and Death by his passion and the Sacrifice of himself on the Cross has bore the Curse of the Law satisfied Divine Justice and quench'd those Flames of Wrath we had kindled he hath
serviceable more proper or powerful than to consider they died in hope may we not more easily with more submission and less reluctancy commit the Body to the Dust when we have ground to hope the Soul which is by far the better part and to which certainly we owe most love is in Heaven may not Gods Grace and Mercy to them before their departure abundantly comfort us after their dissolution we have more infinitely more reason to groan and weep Lord forgive us we do not over a wicked Relation that is dead while he liveth than 1 Tim. 5. 6. over a godly Relation that lives tho' he dies That wicked profane son of thine who lives to thy shame and Gods dishonour calls for more Tears than thy godly and religious Son who is dead i. e. gone from his Earthly to his Heavenly Father a Lugâ—s Corpus a quo recâ—ssit anima Luge animam à qua recessit Deus Aâ—g De Sanct. 13. Do'st thou weep over the Body from which the Soul is gone weep over that Soul from which God is departed b 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Chrys in Phil. Hom. 3. Let us saith another lament sinners not only when they die but while they live but let us rejoice over the righteous not only while they live but when they are dead If we would not offend while we sorrow if we would weep as if we wept not 1 Cor. 8. 30. let us seriously consider with what great blessed and glorious hopes our Holy Relations died and that now they are receiving the end of their Faith and Hope the Salvation of their Souls Cannot we 1 Pet. 1. 9. behold the Pale Wan Gastly and Breathless Corps they have left behind without wetting it with an immoderate shower of Tears Can't we follow them to their long home look into the deep and dark frightful and lonesome grave in which we must leave them without an excess of sorrow Let us look up and consider whither they are gone what they now are enjoy and do what employment and society they have what rivers of pleasure they are drinking of and what angelical joys they are now filled with Is their Pilgrimage over are they got to the end of their Journey Are they gone home and are they now with God After many threatning storms and tempests many fears of shipwrack and drowning has Death safely landed them and are they got well into Harbour Have they done their work finished their course and are they now receiving the reward The reward they long pray'd and waited for Is their warfare accomplisht their conflict with sin and all the legions of darkness now over and the crown obtain'd Are they gone from this to a better World to a World more holy and happy more quiet and peaceable Are they gone from Earth to Heaven To Heaven where they long'd wisht and groan'd to be To Heaven where their treasure hearts and hopes were long ago To Heaven where there is all good and no evil all that can be thought of wisht and desired to make up a compleat and entire happiness Is their trial over and their account delivered up with joy and has God said Well done good and faithful Servants Have they exchang'd Earth for Heaven Sickness for Health Sorrow for Joy pain for Ease Trouble for Rest Groans for Songs Tears for Triumph a State of Sin for a State of perfect Holiness Are they past for ever past those difficulties and dangers snares and temptations which we are liable to and must encounter Have they done wrestling and fighting watching and striving complaining and weeping Are they gone to the true land of the living and are they beyond the pain the fear the possibility of dying any more for ever Are they gone from a Sick-bed a Crazy Body an house of Clay a Tabernacle of the Flesh that was always shaking and tottering to a mansion in their Fathers house to a City that hath foundations whose Builder and maker is God Are they gone to their own countrey and their own People To God the Judge of all to Christ the Mediator of the new Covenant to an innumerable company of Angels and the Spirits of just men made perfect Have they the Beatifical vision the ravishing fight of the Man Christ Jesus in all his glory Are they in Heaven and are they glad they are Without the least thought wish or desire to return to this wretched Earth of ours again Did they run their Christian race with holy patience and constancy and have they won the prize Are they reaping the fruit of all their prayers and tears religious duties and holy endeavours Are our departed Relations who t'other day were weeping sinning and suffering with us now sate down with Abraham Isaac and Jacob with Patriarchs Prophets Apostles Confessors and Martyrs in the Kingdom of God above Did they live in the fear die in the favour of God and shall they rise in his love Did they live in comfort and at last die in peace Are their Souls gone to Heaven and does their Flesh rest in hope And is not this enough and more than enough to check an intemperate sorrow Can we as it were hear the separated Soul of one whom we lov'd knew and conversed with a while ago or of one who was related to us in the flesh upon its first arrival at yonder blessed World with wonder and admiration crying out Glorious Sight Blessed Company Happy Place Where am I What a change is this What Musick do I hear Is this Heaven Incomparable place Is this glorious Mansion for me Admirable grace Must I be with God and Christ and be with them for ever Vnspeakable Happiness Must I O ye Holy Angels and glorified Spirits be one of your Number Excellent Company But is this Heaven Is this the Heaven I heard of so often What I was told Alas poor mortals do not know what Heaven is was not one half of what I now find Is this Heaven Am I in it must I be here for ever Glory to thee O God the Father for preparing it Glory to thee O God the Son for purchasing it Glory to thee O God the Holy Ghost for preparing me for Heaven And yet immoderately weep at the thoughts of his departure Had they hope on a death-bed and are they now in possession of all they hoped for and have not we more cause to weep for our selves who are left behind than for them who are gone have not we more reason to wish Lord that my work were done my Soul prepared and my Account ready that I might be gone than wish oh that I had my Wife my Father my Mother again we that are Christians design Heaven Heaven is the blessed Port we are bound for and shall we repine and grieve that our holy Relations are safely Landed before us Is this our love to ' em oh what abundant provision has God made for the support of his people under such afflictive
what holy motions and breathings what enlivening quickening and comforting influences of the Holy Spirit have I had how oft hath God supported my drooping and reviv'd my dying Spirits answered my doubts expell'd my fears and treated me as a Friend nay more as a Son how hath God in mercy restrained the Tempter or wisely ordered the Temptation as to the nature strength and continuance of it what succour and support what strength and assistance have I experienc'd at such a time and how oft through Grace have I been more than a Conquerour when I sinn'd and fell God did not cast me off banish me his family and null the former Relation but pittied me a faln Christian when he heard my groans and saw my penitential Tears his Bowels yearned he took me up and embraced me in the Arms of his Mercy wiped my weeping Eyes comforted my sorrowful Heart and said Son be of good chear thy sins are forgiven Mat. 9. 2. thee Oh! the joy oh the unspeakable joy of that hour methinks I yet sensibly feel what lively and warm impressions those words made upon my Heart upon my Heart that the moment before was ready to sink and dye within me when I was covered with Tears Blushing and Shame when I lay sighing sobbing and groaning at his Foot-stool crying out in the bitterness of my Soul I have sinned I have sinned before I rose from my knees before I said Amen my God came and said I have pardoned I have pardoned and now go in peace For the mercy and kindness of that hour Lord I bless thee now When through the weakness of my Grace the strength of my Corruptions and the power of Temptation I have wandred and gone astray when my zeal has abated my affections been cooled when I have been remiss negligent and careless back-sliding and on the declining hand he sent some affliction or other to call me back to awaken warm quicken and recover me When I have loved the World too much and my God too little when my affection to Earth has been too warm and to Heaven too cold when duties have been neglected or performed without life vigour and zeal when I begun to be too Worldly Earthly and Sensual he suffered me to meet with disappointments took away part of my Estate snatcht away a bosom Friend a dear Relation filled my Body with pain shook me over the Grave and threatned to cast me into it and all this with a merciful design to reform and make me better And Lord I thank thee any afflictions have been sanctified to such an end that the voice of the Rod has been accompanied with that of thy Spirit and both were effectual to reclaim me that at any time I came out of the fire more refin'd and purg'd and that those Waters of Affliction washt away my filthiness Lord I can do and will bless thee for seasonable corrections and the discipline of thy Rod. So good and kind so liberal and bountiful so merciful and gracious hath God been to me I have had so much for Body and Soul for time and eternity that I am fill'd with wonder and must cry out Oh the heighth and depth length and breadth of the love of God! my mercies have been more than my moments and every single mercy deserves and calls for a Psalm of Praise Lord when I am dead and in a silent Grave I cannot praise thee and therefore now I will blessed be God I lived till I was born again that ever I heard of that sweet that blessed that charming name JESUS and that I was enabled to believe on him for all the Mercies I have had in this World and for the hope and prospect of more and better in the next Blessed be God for Pardoning Mercy Sanctifying Grace and the Blood of Jesus to wash and cleanse me a sinner Blessed be God for the supports and comforts I have in this sickness that Satan is restrain'd and my own corruptions curb'd Blessed be God I am made meet for Heaven and that I know I am Lord what Grace is thine how free and sovereign What love is thine how constant and matchless how sweet how exceeding sweet is the thought that God hath loved doth love me and will do so unto the End I 'll bless thee Lord while I live thank thee with my last Breath and O my God through Christ thy Son and my Saviour accept my dying praises Bless the Lord O my Soul bless the Lord for me O my Friends bless the Lord O ye his Holy Angels my single voice is not sufficient may every Tongue all breath praise his holy name Amen HALLELUJAH III. After Death cometh Judgment what an awakening Thought this is and ought to be How this Thought may and should be improv'd by us in our last Sickness particularly to put us upon Confession the exercise of Repentance and earnest Prayer to God for Pardoning Mercy SICKNESS Summons Men to die Death Summons them to Judgment May this Sickness be my last and do I suppose it will hearken O my Soul and thou may'st hear Deaths Voice Come unto the Bar come give an account of thy Self to God in the NAME of the ETERNAL GOD whose Servant and Messenger I am I cite thee O Man to make thine appearance before the Tribunal of thy Maker Sovereign and Judge in the other World Awful Tidings what awakening and startling words are these must I O my Soul quickly Dye and after that be judg'd go from my Death-bed to the Bar of an Infinitely Holy Just and Jealous God must my Life be examined all my Actions scanned and my everlasting state in that moment be determined must a Righteous and Irreversible Doom pass upon me must I Dye in one moment and in the next be Judg'd and shall not I search my ways examine my state take a survey of my Heart and Life before I pass to that final and irreversible Judgment and hold up these guilty hands of mine at God's Tribunal shall I not endeavour to know what has been amiss that I may confess be humbled for repent of it and beg pardon Lord help me a sick Lord for Jesus sake help me a dying man in this serious solemn work help me to find out my sins to repent and implore thy mercy through the Lord Jesus Christ who is my only hope in Life at Death and after Death I was born a sinner and came into the World guilty and polluted behold I was shapen in iniquity and in sin did my Mother Psal 51. 5. conceive me As I am a Child of Apostate Adam dreadful thought I am unlike to the Holy and Blessed God and resemble the Devil the worst of Beings and had I no other sin this were enough to shame confound silence and condemn me But alas have I not found this original sin active in my Heart and fruitful in my Life with what force and violence has it hurried me to the commission of sin oh
what cursed streams has this bitter Fountain been sending forth how much how often and how greatly have I offended God! what one Commandment is there I have not broken in thought word or deed my sins are more than can be numbred and how many Legions of Lusts are quartered in my Heart oh that my Head were Waters and mine Eyes a Jer. 9. 1. Fountain of Tears that I might weep day and night Did I not once O my Soul live as without God in the World how many and great were the sins of my unregenerate state what a sinner Lord what a vile sinner was I then were not all the faculties of my Soul and Members of my Body the Instruments of Unrighteousness unto sin Did not sin sit in the Throne sway the Scepter and had it not the entire quiet and peaceable possession of my Heart Was not I a willing Slave an obedient Servant and a Volunteer in any wicked service was I not at the beck of every Lust the will of every Temptation and did not Satan carry me captive at his pleasure during that wretched state how did I forget God and my self Eternity and another World thwart the design of my Creation and cross the end of my being made a Man Was I not sensual carnal and earthly a stranger to an Holy Heavenly Life without any delight in God desire after or care to please him did I not run into Sin as the Horse rushes into the Battle without any fear how long O my Soul how long was I a grief to that blessed Jesus who wept and swet bled groan'd and died for me how did I despise his Grace slight his Love his dying Love spurn at his Bowels and trample on his Blood with what sweet and endearing melting and charming language did he plead with me he called but I did not answer he pleaded but I was not moved his Bowels yearned but my Heart did not relent how oft did the Holy Spirit move and work upon my Heart and how oft did I resist vex quench and grieve him how oft was my Conscience awakened and how soon did it fall asleep again Holy Lord I blush I am ashamed and confounded to look back upon this part of my life I weep Lord I weep I desire to weep bitterly for the sins of my unconverted state I wish again Oh that my Head were Waters and mine Eyes a Fountain of Tears that I might weep day and night How many and great have been my sins since my Conversion to and acquaintance with God How oft have I fallen to the dishonour of God the discredit of Religion the wounding of my self and grieving of others how many duties have been neglected and how many carelesly performed in a cold lazy and trifling manner how many of my Talents which might have been improved for the Glory of God my own comfort and the good of others have been wrapped up in a Napkin and buried in the Earth how weak is every Grace and how much evil is mixt with all my good how oft letting down my Spiritual Watch has Satan surpriz'd me and Temptation prevail'd how much have I conformed to the World complied with the sinful customs and fashions of it how much have I lived contrary to my Profession and below my hopes as a Christian what a slow progress have I made in the ways of Holiness how many younger Christians have out-stript got the start of and are gone before me nay have I not shamefully declin'd and backsliden and lost much of my first love zeal and tenderness how frequent and strong have been the workings of Spiritual Sins as unbelief pride passion envy and uncharitableness c. Lord how many have been the sins of this state and how are they aggravated by all that love and mercy thou hast shewn to me and the long experience I have had of thy bounty and goodness Art thou my God and have I affronted my Father and have I displeased thee have I by these sins wounded that Redeemer who died for me grieved that Holy Spirit who has comforted me ah sinful silly Soul what hast thou been doing what an hearty sorrow and unfeigned grief do these sins call for I mourn Lord help me to mourn more thou hast given me the habit of Repentance give me now in this evening of my Life to act and exercise it Oh for a broken Heart and a contrite Spirit oh for inward shame and hearty remorse oh for a melting frame and a bleeding Soul oh that this Rock might be broken and this Heart be turned more and more into an Heart of flesh My time is short my strength little my sins many and great Lord help me to live repenting and die repenting to go to my grave weeping Weeping not tears of despair but tears of Gospel-sorrow which make way for eternal joys I do repent Lord from the bottom of my Soul I do repent let my last repentance be most solemn particular and serious and do thou accept it wash me in these penitential waters and because these muddy waters can't cleanse wash me Lord wash me in the blood of Jesus for that can cleanse from all sin O pardon pardon a dying penitent who confesses and acknowledges his sins and flies to thy mercy through the merits of Christ My sins are gone over mine head as a burden Psal 38. 4. they are too heavy for me Sin is an heavy burden and intollerable but most of all so to a dying man Look upon mine Psal 25. 18. affliction and forgive all my sins If I must weep with one eye Lord let me read my pardon with the other I have deserved Hell and if God should cast me into it I have forfeited Heaven and if God should eternally banish me from that blessed place I must say Righteous art thou O Lord and upright Ps 110. 137. is thy Judgment But save me from the one and bring me to the other for thy mercies sake I find it is written He that Pro. 28. 13. confesseth and forsaketh his sins shall find mercy And again if we confess our sins he is 1 John 1. 9. faithful and just to forgive us our sins This I have done this I will do and shall I not obtain mercy I am ashamed and confounded I loath and abhor my self I repent in dust and ashes I wish I had never done as I have were I to live over my life again Divine grace assisting these Errata's should be corrected I do repent and will not God pardon I do heartily mourn and will not God forgive Oh for a pardon for Jesus sake mercy mercy Lord mercy for a dying sinner who comes unto thee according to the tenor of the Gospel The thing I ask is great and I sinful I wretched I am altogether unworthy but Christ is worthy Lord lo here is the blood which bought my pardon and it has been and is now crying in thine ears with a loud voice Lord
Life without this superlative and predominant love I am I can be no Christian But O my Soul is not my lothness to die when God calls and would have me an ill sign my love is not so strong my affection so warm and this flame so bright and burning as it ought to be doth a Man love God what and wish to be at an eternal distance from him what a flat contradiction is this do I love my God my Saviour and the H. Spirit my guide and comforter as much as I ought and not care how long I am absent from this Blessed Trinity oh how weak and defective is my love did I love my God as strongly as I love my Friend my Relations should I not think it long till I am with him were the glowing sparks blown up into a flame did I love and love as much as I ought how passionately should I cry out My Soul thirsteth for God for the living Psal 42. 3. God when shall I come and appear before God How long must I be at this lamented distance HE is my God my Life my Joy my Happiness my All oh that I were with him oh blessed are they who dwell in his Presence stand before his Throne and continually behold his Face when shall it be so with me O my God I love thee and long to see thee O my Saviour I love thee and I long to see thy Face and have thy company that I may love thee more for every view of thee my glorious Jesus will increase the Flame How long how long Lord how long is the voice of love of a strong and burning love Doth God by this present sickness call me to come from Earth to Heaven from my Friends to him from my Relations who love me pity me pray for and weep over me to my Saviour who loves me more and is able to help me and am I unwilling do I shrink draw back and wish to tarry longer is there not some great defect in my love doth it not want many of those degrees it ought to have Holy Lord Blessed Jesus I am troubled I am ashamed to find so much unwillingness in my self to die now because I am convinc'd my love to thee is not so strong as it should be O pity and pardon me oh help me to love thee more and better and then I shall obey thy Summons and be willing to come to thee tho' Death and the Grave be in my Way that I may let me love thee more and better Lord Hath not God O my Soul promised me a future Glory and confirmed that Promise with an Oath Hath he not revealed much of Heaven to me that I might not be an utter stranger to that unseen World hath he not given me many sweet foretasts of it in Meditation and Prayer in Sermons and in my Sacramental Communions that I might desire long and thirst after more What delightful hours what holy Communion with God Father Son and Spirit what joyful views what ravishing prospects of Heaven have I sometimes had have I not had those sights of God in the Sanctuary those discoveries of his love and that sense of his favour that I have cried out Lord it is good for Mat. 17. 4. me to be here Have I not had that Communion with God in my secret retirements and have I not been fill'd with those joys on my Knees that I have had no more mind to the little things of time to the Vanities here below have not I sometimes been so refresht reviv'd and comforted so satisfied and transported with joy that I have long'd for Heaven that I might be capable of and enjoy more can't I remember the time tho' alass it hath been too seldom so when I would have been glad to have gone from my Closet and from my Knees to Heaven and shall I be unwilling now what did a good God vouchsafe all this to me for but to make me long for Heaven and willing to die why did he give me these first fruits but that I might long for the Harvest these Clusters of Canaan but that I might long for the Vintage These Tasts but that I might long to drink a full Draught of those Rivers of Pleasure which are at his Isa 16. 11. Right Hand for evermore Lord continue and increase those joys now and I will readily dye Moreover O my Soul hath not God continued me in Life and being a great while I might have died in my Infancy Childhood and Youth but I did not I might have died in the Morning or at Noon but I have lived unto the Evening How many are dead and gone while I am yet spar'd how many thousands hath Death removed out of the World since I came into it how many Funerals have I survived how many younger persons have I out-liv'd I have sometimes been sick but did not God recover restore and raise me up again this House of Clay hath often totter'd but hath not God repaired and yet kept it standing the Arrows of Death have been flying about me and many thousands have fallen on my right hand and many on my left but they have had no commission to touch me many have been called out of the Vineyard at the first third and sixth hour and I have been continued to the ninth nay to the eleventh Have not I lived thirty forty fifty sixty years when thousands have not lived so many months weeks or days and is it not shameful for me to be unwilling to dye now after I have lived in the World so long shall I be as loth to dye as those who are but newly come into it unthankful Soul is this the return thou makest to God for so much time and patience the poor Infant of a few days may say must I dye almost as soon as I am born go from one Grave to another come upon the Stage only to look about me take a short turn and so go off the young man may say am I arriv'd at that period of Life wherein Nature is strongest and I am most capable of relishing the pleasures of it and must I go now to a lonesome and solitary Grave must I go to Bed in the Morning and my Sun go down at Noon-day must my Candle be blown out by the Breath of Death when it might Burn much Longer must I in my Youth Strength and the Flower of my Age be thy mark and game O heard-hearted Death when so many old and decrepit ones who in civility may be willing to retire to the Grave and make room for others and of whom the World is weary are passed by O Death Death dost thou refuse the halt the lame and the blind and must I one of the best of the Flock be singled out and be laid as a Sacrifice on thine Altar If this be the Young Mans complaint what can be the old Mans Apology will it not be as weak as himself Have not I