new Name Immortality which abideth for ever those I say speaking forth mysteries which men by wisdom cannot know though not my steries to the simple who lived or doth live in the wisdom of God but men in their own wisdom even sensual men who have not the Spirit going about to comprehend those things which they enjoy not they drowned their understanding and darkned their sight and so the eyes of their Mindes being blinded they of themselve wrest the Scriptures to their own condemnation But to my understanding and great is my mistake if the Spirit of God doth not bear me witness herein where the minde is staid in that Truth which is manifest plainly in and unto all men and be guided thereby in faithfulness and respecting nothing before that Obedience which is required by it surely therein God will be glorified for his Grace hath appeared to all men and he requireth no more than what he hath given onely Grace for Grace and he that abides herein needs not desire to dive beyond himself thinking thereby to apprehend that knowledge which is acceptable though in the sight of God accursed but in time he will witness a Comforter which will lead him out of the Spirit of this world into the beginning where all Truth is made manifest and when in joying the same Spirit and living in the same Life which the upright and true Servants of the Lord hath done then will those mysteries of God which are hid from the fleshly wisdom be made known Life and Immortality being raised to Light and so being staid in a sound minde the glory of the Lord will be seen to the peace of his and surely if the Lord please to reprove convince and correct the wandrings of such as are gone astray from him and have exalted themselves upon the Mountains being lifted up above all what is called God and guide them to wait thus upon himself there needs no fear but the blessing which he hath reserved for his Chosen even the eternal rest with himself shall be their reward Whereas it hath been spoken That I was not right principled in the way of the Quakers so called and that I had not a clear understanding of what their Ministery held forth I say deceit speaks in those who thus report of me for before I was perswaded to comply with them I had a right Knowledge of their Belief and Practise but the occasion by which I became to be lost in my Understanding and so distracted and confused in Mind may be observed in divers particulars before spoken yet for the Truth sake I shall discover the thing more plainer But first I shall speak a little of what condition I was in before I came amongst them Having been very zealously affected in divers wayes before there was begotten in me much fleshly wisdom in which my hope did much rest believing it was the mystery and wisdom of the holy Spirit revealed unto me by which I was perswaded that the true worship of God was a true endeavouring to live up to that Obedience which the outward Law required wherein I failed of what this Law required that Doctrine I was learned in continually laboured to perswade me that Christ which died at Ierusalem had perfected for me and so I was not under the Covenant of Works but under the Covenant of Grace Yet nevertheless all this time I could not enjoy a true peace but was greatly dissatisfied with my Condition sometimes being perswaded that I was out of the Faith a Reprobate a Cast-away being out of the Election and other times when covered over with deceit I should glory in my condition Now when being fully perswaded by what I learned from these People before named that the Truth indeed was to be found in us which Truth was made known by the Light in us which Light as it was spiritual if following it it would guide out of all the works of the flesh to the worshipping of God in Spirit and in Truth I was then to begin a new Religion and to lose all that ever I learned before all that Wisdom that Knowledge Faith Hope Love Zeal c which before I hoped in and so to wait out of my own Thoughts and Imagination as in Obedience to the Ministration of Condemnation which was to pass upon all that which was of flesh by which the Spirit was to be renewed and as Death passed upon the one Life was to be restored unto the other until a new Birth was brought forth from which would proceed the Ministration of Righteousness unto Holiness the end of which as saith the Scriptures is eternal Life My Understanding being now thus opened I was posfessed with much Joy in the sense of that Love I had received and was in hopes to enjoy and on the other side I was incensed with much Fear lest I should be careless and so lose my way in the Wilderness before I came to the Land of Canaan and also lest I should die before I witnessed the first Resurrection Whereupon I was resolved to give all diligence that my Calling and Election might be made sure but being naturally of a very hasty forward Minde and my Resolution in part being a Covenant of my own there was speedily begotten in me an extream fiery Zeal so that in the general I was hastily carried for the before the true Light by which in a short time I became lost in my Understanding and then being to seek in the wilderness the Disputer was raised to Life and so exalted it self mightily pleading the cause of his people upon which there was proclaimed a desperate War in which division the Enemy which was for Condemnation having darkned the Light of the Sun formed it self in the shape of a true Light and so deceit having gotten the power to bear rule in Israel my mind was led forth out of the true Obedience as is before related by which the simple became exceedingly deceived but when after it had finished his course and I was restored to a right Understanding it is known that no weapon formed against the Just did prosper but my Life was as a clear Light in the sight of those amongst whom I was known being guided in that Obedience which was professed by those people amongst whom I was This may reprove the Gain-sayer for my witness therein is true Such who may be dissatisfied with any thing contained herein might judge of me otherwise then they ought because of those hands by whom what I have written is countenanced I therefore declare that before any of them had the least knowledge of my purpose I had writ of my self being perswaded it concerned me as a Duty chiefly for those Reasons before spoken but when after some considerable time that this discourse was wholly perfected I was perswaded in what I have done that so such serious mindes as might question the Truth of any thing contained in it might the better receive a satisfaction Since my separation from these people there hath been dispersed abroad concerning me divers scandalous and false abusive reports by which where it hath taken place I am presented as a lewd person changed from whatever it is known I have been but unto the Truth am I made manifest by which Truth in me and in all those that thus have spoken and do speak against me am I justified which Truth is and will be the Condemnation of what is believed or spoken touching me untruly True since it pleased the Father to make known the excellency of his power in the raising out of nothing this body that the Image of himself amongst other of his works might therein appear compleat both in Body and in Spirit to the glory of himself and to the praise of his Name I say since the beginning of this Creation of God a disobedient Mind hath appeared in me against that Will that Grace which God hath as his Law made known in and to me and I have amongst others many times rejected the offers of Grace by the presumptuous resolvedness of my own peremptory will so that I cannot justifie my self yet am I bold wherein I am made free in the sight of God being witnessed by the Spirit of Truth False reports and good reports must pass but my Witness liveth for ever I know and have heard of many which were of them that were convinced in themselves of much delusion they lay under and so their Understandings being enlightned they were reformed in their Judgements but not one of these have I known or heard that have not received from them the like Judgement and scandalous untrue reports that have been given forth concerning me Wherefore by right according to their Law though false I must come under the same Condemnation with them But herein is my Peace the Word of Truth bearing me witness against all deceitful Lyes The end
far distant from London But a short instant following being perswaded in this way as I was restrained from proceeding in this business so also I was engaged to make known what I had done otherwise than I intended which was privily to restore it as I had taken it forth which I did restoring the same which I had received not having made any use thereof Now amongst other things which this change of minde wrought in and upon me and by which first I became famous in the general discourse of men especially amongst those of whom I was known this business was a chief by which through the not understanding of the thing divers conclusions have been conceived otherwise than the Truth by which many abusive reproaches have been unjustly cast upon me but what I speak cannot in the least be gain-said known unto those whom it did concern A short time after my compliance with that Spirit which entred in me by the observation of their practice declared to be from the teachings of the Spirit Christ in them My Master having been at the Wells came home so out of that respect I had to what was good in him and also that love I bare towards his eternal rest with God I was moved to go to him presently and inform him of my Restoration from the depth of those delusions which I was serviceable in by the ministery of those Teachers who were blinded in their understanding not knowing the mystery of godliness upon which I really supposed that he would have been prevailed upon by me to frequent our Meetings that if may be the same Ministery spoken from the Life by which the Life was raised in me might effect the same end in him unto his Salvation so coming to him I wrote a Scroll took him by the Arm or Cloak and bade him Sit down William Web not bowing not pulling off the hat not Master for then I denied that title to him though related to him a Servant as afterwards I denied all relations from the words of one He that liveth in the Light will see no difference after which I spake these words How does thy body do for as may be observed we made a separation between the Body and the Spirit Now the observation of my carriage with the strangeness of that expression Body moved him to speak these words John what is the matter where is the Servant's Obedience where is the Master's honour The answer as I remember was thus ' My Master was the faithful Spirit in me So I gave him to understand That I had heard the Ministers of the everlasting Gospel by whom I was converted to the faithful obedience by which I should finde Life desiring of him as he respected his eternal happiness to come amongst us that so what is true might be made manifest to and in him For said I from the Lord do I declare that all the Ministers of these times or that were not of us are the Ministers of the Devil and in particular Feak that Minister whom he heard was of the Devil whose Ministery was Death So being stopped by much dislike in him of what was spoken I was dismissed by him at that time A while after this when he and his Company were at Dinner I was moved by that Spirit in me to go and Dine w th them now because it was against my will I concluded that this moving was indeed from the Lord which service was intended by the Lord to make known unto him that he willed there should be no Difference between Man and Man So I went into the Room where he was took me a Stool and sate down at the Head of the Table which being done I applied my Minde to my Business Then was asked me some Questions forth of the Scripture concerning the Duty of the Servant which was Answered in the justifying of my self as to that Deed giving him to know That I was the Servant of the living God and he was not therefore I had more right unto the Greatures than he had So having finished my work I departed Now I was with exceeding love out of respect unto my eternal Salvation formerly fixed with a resolution to be taught by the Light in me and so never to sin any more upon which I became very punctual in every word and every Deed Also having received a strict Charge with the rest That nothing should be Spoken or Acted but what might be eternally witnessed whereupon when any Customers came to deal with me I durst not ask them What they wanted believing that those Words could not be eternally witnessed for they knew what they came for Then when that was required which they came for I durst not make in the price of it but one word and if by them tempted to more because of what was expected of advantage to themselves by a cheaper Rate I should be provoked to look sternly with wrath and envie out of the extream hatred I bare towards that Spirit which moved them to speak more than was needful and so by this and that Spirit by which I was limited to those words Thee and Thou and not pulling off my Hat without any civil respect in my Carriage I was made unfit for that Service by which was intended a way for my livelihood Also divers of those Commodities we dealt in having honourable Names and other having such Names which I judged were not meet I was commanded and enjoyned by this Spirit in me to give unto them fresh Names believing that those Names did proceed from the invention of Man and they stood in the Fall as did every thing that was invented and made by Man and so used by Man that was not absolute necessary Also it was believed that all those things before spoken of which I was limited from stood in the will of Man and they came in the Fall I was farther perswaded not to eate any thing that I loved believing that what did set a Difference of any Creature stood in the Will for he looked upon all things and behold it was good therefore it was of Man that gave a respect to any thing above other so by degrees at the last I was wrought upon to eat nothing but Crums pickings of Bones when finished by others with such Food that was destructive to my health it being contrary to pure Nature Also I was limited from eating of the Creature what was needful to the satisfying of Nature so that I was made extream poor so changed as though I were not the same man fasting some weeks from eating little more than Nature would have required to eat in one day Going along Cheap-side I saw Cabbage-stocks with broken leaves of Colworts which were thrown away by the Market-women at which sight I was enjoyned by a command of this Spirit in me to gather them all up and carry them home which being done I was commanded in the like nature to dress them and the next food I
perswaded with By which true Judgement became lost in me That I may in this be as a Sea-mark whose poor Vessel was well-nigh Split upon those Rocks and am now become as one to give warning that none do through the hastiness of their own Minds in their own Wills under a pretence of God's Will dishonor the Truth by giving heed to such Seducings and Temptations ascribing that to God and calling it His when indeed it is the Effects of their own Fancy through their own Weakness and their own Imagination 3. That there may be a true and impartial Information held forth to every one to whose Hands this Discourse shall come of the true Rise and Progress of my Entrance into and Separation from the People called Quakers in order to the silencing of those false Aspersions which have been cast not only upon me but also upon the aforenamed People themselves by reason of me And which is more especially upon the Truth it Self which through misrepresentation and misunderstanding of things hath much suffered These things Considered I hope it will be understood by all sober-minded Persons that I am in this Work upon a great Duty which I may not be at rest till it be effected and the rather because herein the Temptations and Wiles of Satan are Discovered and in measure detected which many being ignorant of could not Believe or Avoid And although I must and do expect That there will be sent forth Floods after me even to the very drowning of me if possible by Reproaches Calumnies Aspersions and whatever may be to render me or make me Odious as divers have appeared in such-like very active towards me already but those who profess the highest Truth even the Perfection and abounds therein dares not nay they cannot appear in the Language of the Beast of the Serpent of the Deceiver yet however things be I shall abide where I am therefore I count not any thing which I may suffer valuable in comparison of that Peaee I have in bearing this Witness which is not anothers but fulfilled in and on my Person So that I may truly say as in another Case What I have heard with mine Ears and seen with mine Eyes and felt with my poor tormented Body and Spirit That I have testified and do testifie and my Witness therein is true To which let me add a few Words by way of Caution to thee in the perusal of what followeth 1. That thou Consider what thou Readest and understand things as they are Also be serious in thy Observation and be not light in Mind nor easily tickled with toyish Laughter at such Vanities as thou mayest perceive to have attended me But Watch and Pray That thou also mayest not be led into Temptation For I assure thee That in the hour of my Temptation I judged those Madnesses and Follies great and serious things though now through Mercy I look upon them with another Eye 2. Despise not the Scriptures wherein the Minde of God is so preciously and plentiously Recorded neither doat too much upon them for therein the Deceiver will work in thee Subtilly to the drowning of thy Understanding by forming in thee Imaginations and comprehensions of things which are not I mean things which are not in the Counsel of God by which the Unbelieving and Disobedient Minde will be kept nourished in thee therefore be not wise above what is written either in the Scriptures or in thy Self lest the Light of Israel become a Rock of Offence and a Stone of Stumbling unto thee for both which were my Errors by which I dearly suffered 3. Watch unto Prayer and be staied in what is thy Obedience that so thy Understanding might be opened and thou mayest be able to distinguish between things that differ as saith the Scripture Try the Spirits whether they are of God for there are that have a great seeming-sameness at least a great similitude and likeness of God as when thou shalt be inwardly moved to Speak or Act See that thou impute not that to God which is thine own nor ascribe not that to thy Self which is His and by how much the more Difficult it is for thee to Distinguish thy own Spirit in its Operations and Effects from the Operations and Effects of the true and faithful Spirit of the Lord be so much the more Humble and Lowly and filled with Moderation both towards thy Self and others until thou art Restored to a cleerer Sight 4. Be not rash in Judging nor Censuring an Evil whereunto I my self was most inveterately addicted and is the universal Distemper of these times for unsavoury Expressions being out of Charity especially where it come short of Knowledge stands not in the Counsel of God though many glory therein but they Acting from themselves and so their work being their own true Judgement will rest upon them the wisdom which is from above being pure and peaceable and full of gentleness yea even to the Froward otherwise I say otherwise what had become of me and others this day but the Word of Truth will Rebuke in his day when the Eyeshall see as it is seen beholding things as they are and not as Fancied or Imagined to be 5. If thy Heart be set Free pray for the Author that he may be kept by the power of God in Obedience to that Faith which is Salvation who referring thee to the Discourfe as it follows bids thee Farewel John Toldervy WE whose Names are hereunto Subscribed being Certified of the Contents and Circumstances of the Discourse ensning and some of us having Perused a Part and others the Whole of it are fully satisfied of the Truth of Things Reported in it and do Recommend it as a Piece worthy to be Read and taken into Consideration by all serious Christians as a sad and very remarkable Providence of God to be Observed of all those who take pleasure either in the knowledge of the gracious Works of God or in the Discovery of the Wiles and Subtilties of the Devil And as a seasonable Warning-piece unto all others that they be not taken in the like Snare And if taken that they may recover themselves out Thomas Brooks Thomas Jacomb George Cokayn Will. Adderley John Goodwin John Tombes Will. Jenkyn Matth. Poole The Foot out of the Snare I J. T. having for divers years been full of zeal after the things of God by which zeal I was led forth with exceeding love after the knowledge of Christ to which end I sought after those Ways and Means which I was perswaded to be most useful for the satisfying of my Judgment clearing of my Conscience as Duties enjoyned in order to my upright and close walking with God and blameless life and conversation amongst men To the same end I was led forth with much fervencie of spirit after the Teachings of those whom I judged to be most enlightned with that Spirit which was of God and that were esteemed of the primest Professors to be
Spirits by vvhom I vvas accompanied as though I had been a Spirit my self It may be observed That about this time it was so with me That what I looked upon I should be searching after knowledge in relation to it making enquiry the cause of its Being the way by which it came to have a Being c. For I was perswaded That the Knowledge of all things was to be Discovered and made known to me so that a while after my prying so much after Knowledge did infuse so much Spirit in me that I could not look upon any thing but I was tormented in my Spirit at the sight thereof and many times had such burnings in my Body as may be likened to the heat of live Coals by which for many nights I could not have the least rest Having refrained from Food about a day and a half I was moved though limited by the Spirit in me for a longer time to go and eare So having made a search for the like Food that usually I did eat and finding none but in the stead thereof a great Roast of Beef I was at a loss upon which there arose a great Contest in my Spirit what I should do said that Spirit which respected me for the satisfying of Nature Eate of the Beef said the other Spirit by which I was limited No I am the Lord said the former Nay but eate since there is no other there is a sufficient justification Whereupon the Case being well examined after a time Judgement was determined upon that Spirit by which I was limited So I did take and eat while satisfied with much moderation All which time being much disquieted and strongly moved to give over This Deed being now finished I went into the Hall where after two or three turns I sate down and casting my Eyes upwards I was taken with a strong Fancy that I saw Heaven open from whence proceeded a great blast of Fire somwhat like unto Lightning at which sight being really perswaded it was a discovery of those Plagues which were to be poured forth upon me because of the former Disobedience I was struck down by that power in me as though a dead thing had fallen upon which immediately there was an extream burning within me like unto the heat of a fiery hot Furnace which remained a little more than about half a quarter of an hour About three hours following this there was a private Meeting of our People whither I was moved to go though much contrary to my Will but being in a great fear I durst not deny but went so after I had been there about half an hour I was moved by the power of that Spirit in me to shake which manner of shaking I had long waited for believing they were Effects in order to the rooting out and perfect destroying of that Being in me which was of the Devil So it being observed that I was moved to shake the Command was Give way which signified that I should not limit the Work of the Lord in me upon that which was for Condemnation so I gave way upon which the strength of that Spirit by which I was moved to shake grew so that what strength I had in me of my self was not in the least sufficient to subdue the workings of the other Spirit in and upon me whose power wrought so in me being spread like unto an infused substance into all Parts and Joynts of my Body that my whole Man was so shaken torn and rent that had I not by a great strength been enabled I could not have contained Also it did work in me as though I had taken a strong Purge by which I was clensed exceedingly in working forth of me an extream Foam So having fulfilled its Will it ceased of it self Now as the Air is rent by the fierceness of the Spirit by which is caused a hideous and ratling noise called Thunder and so the whole Heavens become clensed of all filthy vapours or corrupted substance naturally destructive to all Beings so was it believed that the corrupted Spirit in me was rent and torn by that Spirit which is my Life by which the Heavens in me was clensed Then was I possessed with these perswasions That this was one of those two Plagues which was to be poured forth upon me and that the occasion of this Plague was because of the denial of my Lord and Master in the presence of the Jewish Spirits in me out of respect to my own Liberty the satisfying of Nature with that Food which was disallowed After this as I remember the following night I was Commanded to stay up all that night and wait for Revelations but having refrained from sleep divers nights before I could not wait according to the requirings of the Spirit because of extream drouziness whereupon I made intercession to those Apparitions to take rest for that night so upon Promise of attending there the next night I had liberty but going up stairs a voyce spake in me and willed me to go down but then I supposed it to be from one of the Spirits which I left behind me in the Room so out of great fear I was enjoyned to stay up all that night and durst not sleep but wait for Revelations and having waited a short time I could not possibly refrain longer from rest then was I perswaded to go against the Will of the Spirit in me but in going it spake again and Commanded me to go in the Shop which I did and having waited there about half an hour wrestling strongly against sleep I moved of my self to go up again into the Chamber but going up stairs another voyce spake behind me and Commanded me to return back again then was I Commanded by that in me to lie down and humble my self for I had Blasphemed which I did wallowing and tumbling upon the ground Then heard I another voyce saying Nicodemus is in thee the betrayer of Christ in the night Then sorrow struck me to the very heart and I was extreamly troubled so after I had layen about an hours time upon the ground I was moved by that Being in me to rise but as I was rising I was commanded to lie down again Anon after I was moved to rise as before but when rising I was commanded to lie still and so by contradictions of this Spirit in me was I thus acted divers times in the end it was pleased to raise me on my Feet it self moving and guiding of my Body by its own power like as before So this night being spent I was in the morning commanded to light a Fire with dead Coals and Sticks that a Miracle might be made known to be wrought by me being really perswaded that like as Fire did proceed from the Lord upon the Altar in the sight of Moses Aaron and the Children of Israel So from the Lord in me should there proceed that Vertue vvhich should infuse a heat into those Coals and Sticks by vvhich
a Fire should be kindled now being confident I should effect the vvork yea had I been Master of the vvhole world I should have ventured all vvith a value of no vvorth upon the performance of this Deed having laid all things in their order as directed by that Spirit which moved me to the work I was moved to blow with my mouth but in short blow I did try one way then another way and blowed as strong that possible I could expecting still that from my Life the Lord there should heat proceed with my breath to the lightning of the fire but in the end not being able to effect the thing I was extreamly troubled that I the Christ of God should fail in the performance of the first miracle since so many miracles were wrought by him that was a figure of me Then went I private into the Cellar and there hearkned to within my self for a command from the Spirit in me to desire the apparitions which being given they were desired and so came Then was made known unto them how imperfect my performance was in that Service required of me Upon which was answered That I was not yet perfect but however it was the purpose of God that I should be serviceable in the healing of the lame the sick the blinde c. souls as Christ did heal the imperfect parts of the visible body and that all the visible miracles wrought by him did signifie what was to be effected miraculous in the invisible part of every man that should be saved by my Doctrine and so they departed Seldom a night after this for about a week but I staid up most part of all the night and divers strange things effected by me or those apparitions every night so that having destroyed the course of nature so much in not taking of rest that for a time following when I came to have liberty to rest I could not though never so desired Once when striving strugling mounting flinging and throwing in a contest against sleep I was immediately taken by the power of that Spirit in me and cast up against the wall and when setled upright and closed to the wall there was infused in me such a fresh supply of life like unto a mighty startle that all drowziness was destroyed and I was a fresh as could be The day following this night was the first day of the week so betimes in the morning I was moved to go to the place of our Meeting and there wait until the time of meeting and as it was usual not purposing to come home till the evening and also much necessitated I was moved to eat before I went so having cut a piece of Bread about a fourth part of a peny-loaf I began to eat but when having eaten about half I was commanded to eat no more but lay the rest by till the next day so it being undeniable by me I did obey and it was my food the following day Then did I make to the Meeting where I spent my time while the people were gathered together in which time as I was walking in the Garden a Fly flew in my face which thing being observed I was moved to examine what it should mean so by the counsel of this Spirit in me I was confidently perswaded that it was a Messenger from God the Life in him being believed to be of God and from that life was he moved to flie in my face by which was meant a giving me to understand something that was required of me by God From that time was I guided by Flyes in many things being very certain that they were moved by God in them to make known what was his will to me Then vvhen the Company came I vvas commanded to shevv a humility in me beyond any of theirs as Christ did shevv a humility in him beyond any of his Apostles Whereupon I vvas commanded to pull off my Band and then vvas I moved to make knovvn unto the people the order that God required in the Creation vvhich vvas to gatheir up the small sticks that vvere scattered in the Garden and lay them by themselves and the dry leaves that vvere under the Trees by themselves and the small stones that vvere scattered in the Walks by themselves and the pieces of Brick as I remember if not some such-like by themselves Now in the time of this service I gave over sometimes by the perswasion of divers Friends but when given over I should be commanded by the first Fly that I saw to the service again Afterwards being observed by one who was a Chief of us he came to me and took me by the hand perswading me to give over and go along with him and hear what was spoken by him that was speaking to the people so I gave over Then when the time of our being there was ended it was also required by him that I should go with him where he intended to spend his time till the Afternoon which I did but in the way as we were going I was mov'd to gather up stones as before and as I was gathering I saw two white round stones lie one by the other at which sight I was possessed with a confident belief by the information of this Spirit in me that those stones came from Heaven and it was given unto me to finde them then was my minde informed by that in me that the one signified Esau and the other Jacob so I was moved to throw the greatest of them away and onely preserve the lesser it was also given me to understand that this lesser did not onely signifie Iacob but the white Stone spoken of in the Revelations which was sent as a token from Christ in Heaven to me and so long as I kept that stone I had unity with God but if lost I should be dis-united So when we came to that place we intended to go which was a Garden-house we sate down in the Garden but after a time I was moved to do the former work again where I gathered up stones and coles sticks and broken corkes or what I saw scattered on the ground So by and by comes into the Garden one whom I much loved that was of us and looking him in the face I was confident in my self I saw death in him upon which as I remember I told him that he was accursed from God seeing of him much changed I was really perswaded by this Spirit in me that he had slain the Witness and there was no remedy he must die eternally the plagues of God would be poured forth upon him in this life and in the life to come A short time after this as I was at rest about mid-night in a slumber between sleep and wake I saw a vision of Spirits in the room by which I was startled exceedingly and sate up being strongly moved to rise but being much drowsie and desirous of more sleep I lay down again and fell asleep presently and then into a
a yard off the Ground which being done I was directed to turn my Back to the Wall and spread my Hands one upon the other with the Needle remaining in my Thumbs so wide that I could and so lift my Arms over my Head and then to strain my Arms and Body as high as possible I could with the Backs of my Hands joyned to the Wall All which being done I was to liken a Death upon the Cross so I gave way to a Drouziness as though I was a dying and by and by I fell down upon the Ground as though dead But before I lay as in the Grave I was moved to spread over me Shavings of white Paper that lay by on the Floor by which was meant the Covering of me with white Sheets then to tye a Handkerchief about my Head so in regard of my speed and not heeding but making as though I were dead in the tying of my Handkerchief I tore much of my Hair off This being done I lay upon my Back minding nothing like as in a sleep and having lain there about three quarters of an hour in imitation of three dayes the time of Christs being in the Grave I was immediately by the power of that Spirit in me raised on my Feet and Commanded with all the speed that possibly I could to make to that place where the Ministers that were of us with divers more were and give them knowledge of what was done and then to make choice of some of them to be my Apostles and so speedily to go abroad into all the world and Preach the Gospel So I took my Cloak and ran forth in expectation to flie by the power of Michael the Archangel which was believed to be then in me according as before was promised but being then disappointed of Ability to flie I was much troubled upon which there came a special command that I should pull off my Shoes which I did instantly and turning my Cloak under my Arm I threw my Shoes in my Cloak and so made away with all the might I could and verily I am perswaded were I now to run for a Kingdom I could not make two thirds of that speed I did then Now the House being in Moor-fields and the path-way to the House being of a little compass I was caused to leap over the Railes and also run over much Linen that lay Whiting upon the Grass because of the fierceness of my speed So When I came to the place I gave them to understand That Christ meaning my self was Risen from the Dead c. shewing the Holes that were made in my Thumbs with the Needle upon which I was looked upon with a strange hasty look and charged to be silent for I was in Darkness the Witnesses of God were slain in me So there being many there and all of them judging me with one Consent I was silenced Upon which they spake lovingly to me and bad me to sit down and put on my Shoes which being done I made known unto them that my Leg was burned and the way by which it came to be burned then was there care taken by them for the healing of my leg but in regard it had been kept unknown before it was much corrupted and as I remember about a quarter of a year before it was cured much of which time I was constrained to keep my Bed and so not having the Liberty of my Body my Spirit was kept the stiller and the means of my Recovery out of that sad Condition which I was in was the more effectual Now being incensed by what was spoken from them and the strangeness of their Spirits towards what moved in me to speak or to act that I was in darkness the light by which I was enlightned being put out so that I had not a savory discerning of what was good and what was evil and also when seriously considering of divers actions which I was subjected to by the teachings of this Spirit that they were destructive to my being I was the more concerned in what was given me to understand by them Then was I in a sad condition not knowing what I should do that I might be redeemed from this body of sin and death So I was directed by them to wait a time and keep in my minde not giving heed unto any thing but what had a respect unto my necessary imployment which I endeavoured to do but could not for a time being so full of this Spirit by which I was tormented day and night through the strength of imagination upon things without me and also by the power of it self in me and many times with extream fiery burnings in my Spirit So in labouring to keep in my minde this Spirit in me came to be silenced in his motions and weakned of his strength by which his union with those Spirits without me was separated and so I was freed from their Company being resisted they flew away Now for a time this body of sin remained living in me by which I was tormented as before spoken and then being not fed with my service the strength of that Substance which is my Life having raised a war against him utterly destroyed burned up and confumed his whole Beings as is declared following About two months after it was given me to understand that I was in a delusion as I was going along the street I met one that was of us who told me That he had recieved a Letter forth of the Country from a Friend that was a Teacher so he asked me the Question Whether he were best to open it the next meeting which was on a private day or forbear until the first day so it was answered in the close of our discourse Do as thou wilt But when parted there was a voice spake in me saying Do as thou art moved which strongly tempted me to go back again and unspeak that word Wilt and place in the stead thereof Moved being perswaded that I had offended in speaking that word because the will of man was to be destroyed The next day being called to Dinner I refused in regard I had eat something that day before whereupon there arose in me an exceeding joy which I was not able to subdue the cause was conceived because of my obedience to the Pure in me The same day in the Afternoon going to a Meeting I was moved to eat two small Apples that I had in my pocket but first I waited a time that a patient gentle and pure Spirit might guide me in the eating of them then when going to eat them I was perswaded that two was too much at once believing that that Spirit which moved me to eat so much was a Devourer of the Creation so I resolved to eat but one and retain the other to dispose of to a Friend at the Meeting upon which there arose the like joy in me as before then did I conclude that surely the Lord was well pleased with me