with what delight should I give it forth unto you I and yet why should I poor ignorant wretch be speaking when he who knows how to speak sees it good to be silent Had I not better fall a weeping over you but what value have my tears above my words yet let me weep or speak or both at worst it can be but like what we dayly meet with lost labour vanitie And I could almost fall into a patheticall perswading of you if I were sure it might be prevalent and profitable to weep with me yea and yet somewhat further even to leave this same eager prosecuting the Formes and Shaddows of things which passe away which perish in the very use which did not contain life and substance in them even whilest it passed through them to withdraw your Spirits from doting on your present enjoyments if they be present and to consider what is absent what is worth the enjoying and to mourn after it To forsake the house of Feasting in these poor low dark shallow things and to enter into the house of mourning after deep after excellent things after that life and substance which will alone be in request for food and satisfaction of Souls when these shall vanish and their emptiness and nakedness appear unto and be acknowledged by all There is ground of mourning in a double respect both in respect of what is lost and in respect of what was promised to be enjoyed First In respect of what is lost and that in a double respect also In respect of what you your selves have lost and likewise in respect of what the state of Christianity hath lost Consider what ye your selves have lost and mourn over that What Sweetness Meekness Patience Humility Faith Love c. did appear in Christians a while ago What Life and Vigour in Prayer What inward searching of heart and outward strictness of conversation Oh where is this Is it not gone Nay is it possible to be recovered Be provoked to jealousie O ye professors of this age hold forth the truth of things or give up the name also if ye have lost the Substance please not your selves with the Title but throw it away also rather then it should hinder you from pressing after the Substance again Consider likewise what the state of Christianity hath lost what it once possessed whereof the shadow is not now to be found What presence of God dwelling in them God dining supping walking up and down with them and they with him We know God by outward apprehensions sucked in from the letter of the Scriptures They knew God from the sight of him from his ingoings and out-goings in their own spirits They by a spiritual eye received from God the Father and Jesus Christ his Son saw themselves in God the Father and in Jesus Christ They saw God the Father and Jesus Christ in them They were come to Mount Sion to the City of the living God c. They saw they tasted they handled the Word of Life They had golden Candlesticks and Christ walking in the midst of them What Power of the Spirit of God going forth in them They could pray in the Spirit act in the Spirit live in the Spirit They knew how to move towards God in his own Spirit Out of their belly did indeed flow rivers of living Water which did continually run back and carry them back into the Sea of Life What Liberty of Spirit true Liberty wherein they knew how to use every thing and be in bondage to nothing Such Liberty wherein the Spirit might take its full scope to meet and enjoy God every where in every thing and the flesh have no advantage thereby to feed it self anywhere in any thing This was once the state of Christians that which they were in a way to attain that which some did attain yea that which was generally attained in some degree But where is it now Who comes near it Indeed a strong Imagination may fancy that it hath attained some kind of resemblance of it but do but compare it with the reality of this state how soon will it appear but an Imagination but a fancy and is not this a just occasion of lamentation Again There is ground of mourning in respect of what was promised More was promised then they enjoyed A more full presence of God a more abundant power of the Spirit a more perfect liberty in the Spirit He that beleeveth out of his belly shall flow Rivers of living Water I will dwell with them and I will walk in them and I will be your God and ye shall be my sons and daughters saith the Lord Almighty Though they had the enjoyment of this in respect of us yet this was but a promise in respect of what was to be enjoyed Promises are very large of plenty fulness of bread but the children of the promises are very scanty almost famished for want of it How full are the Scriptures of promises to the last days We say these are the last days and surely we meet with in part the misery that is spoken of as belonging to the last times but the happiness the sweet enjoyment of God the plentiful pourings forth of the Spirit which are so abundantly promised to those times seem more remote from us in view then they have been from preceding ages If ever there was a time for tears without and grief of spirit within this seems the season when after such an expectation of Light and Glory of Settlement and Establishment in the things of God such thick darkness such universal shame such dreadful Shatterings have so apparently overtaken us and are so likely dayly more and more to overtake us Not only our Superstruction but our very Foundation is shaken and when we have striven and tryed to the utmost to settle again we may be forced at length to confess that there is no setling any more upon it but we must come to a deeper bottom or sink for ever The Sense of A poor shattered Soul Concerning His Spiritual Loss Misery thereby Expressed in A LETTER To an intimate Friend The Letter MY dear Heart mine own Soul what shall I call thee I can call thee any thing in word in form but nothing in light in power I have not been unwilling to write to thee otherwise then I am made unwilling towards all motions But this I must confess I am unwilling so far to grieve thee as my writing necessarily will occasion How canst thou bear to hear how I have been tossed up and down stripped of all not of the outside but of the inside not of my corruptions which I hoped had been burning up and wasting away but of the vigor and life of my spirit Not one branch of knowledg not one sweet motion of my spirit but hath been confounded condemned taken from me and made odious to me Very shy have I been of new Notions till extremity made me desirous to entertain any thing that might in
may hear given out by persons concerning it which is of a very high kind they say they have tasted they have felt it in their own experience and commend it unto us as a thing they know already is in part and suddenly shall be more fully seen and enjoyed I intend to speak somewhat to both these and that very freely for I hope the time is coming wherein my heart and thoughts concerning all things shall be opened and first concerning the experience of these persons which though it come afterward in order of nature yet I shall begin with it to lay it out of the way and then I shall come more fairly and directly to the thing it self As touching the experience of those persons who thus speak though they have made a noise in the world drawn the eyes of many upon them and the hearts of many after them yet there lieth so just an exception against their persons and practises as cannot but damp their testimony and eat out that strength which otherwise it might carry with it There is a greater ground of rebuke and reproach lies upon them then hath usually attended the people of God who have always and that too justly layn open to reproach The weakness of every Administration the frailty of the persons under it the great boasts that have still been made by some of them of their interest in God nearness to God power from God and yet the low ebb that most commonly they are found in hath still given too much occasion to wise flesh to despise such a weak and mixed appearance of the Spirit of God in them yet this is not their worst but their ordinary state you shall sometimes have them buffeted by Satan overmastered by corruption forsaken by God giving up all their hopes My strength and my hope is perished from the Lord said Jeremiah Lam. 3. all their light darkened all their life extinguished to appearance and this is such a stumbling block as it is hard to leap over But none ever lay so open to reproach as these Persons wallowing with delight in that which the eyes of Sence and Reason if the eye of Religion were quite put out cannot but call unclean filthy wicked boasting that they are all and all is theirs and yet possessing nothing not knowing where to attain necessaries for the body speaking greater words then ever were spoken but with less demonstration of the Spirit and of Power then God was usually wont to give out to them whom he called to speak after a far lower rate How can any mans stomack forbear nauseating such kind of persons I must profess there is nothing I have met with more contrary to my temper and answerably more distasteful to me who have been always strongly bent towards and in prosecution of exact purity both within and without to the utmost extent and degree My temper hath likewise enclined me much to modesty sobriety silence I have still desired to be much to enjoy much but not to make any great sound of what I was made or enjoyed and I think few can testifie any great boasts they heard from me of that Light that Life that Power that Sweetness which once I tasted of nay for a season possessed but still kept back the discovery of it further then the drawing of it forth into action wherein I was not overforward neither did occasion it To be but not to appear was very delightful to me but to make a glorious appearance beyond substance to speak great words beyond what I felt or enjoyed was in no wise pleasing unto me or passable with me And if I deal ingenuously I must confess I never found my spirit rise with greater detestation against any thing then this which I am now speaking of It was irksom to me formerly to hear men talk of the Spirit of God of being assisted by the Spirit of God when it was too too clear that their own parts abilities were the Master-engine in all their performances but this was far more distasteful to me and that which I could in no wise brook until I was throughly battered and shewn my insufficiency to judg any thing Since which time I have learned by much experience that the clay is not its own but the Potters nor hath it liberty to chuse its own form but must be cast into what form the Potter pleaseth and into what several forms he pleaseth One while it shall be a vessel of honour by and by a vessel of dishonour anon a vessel of honour again then a vessel of dishonour again of greater dishonour then before and afterwards perhaps a vessel of greater honour then before The same peece of earth one while lyeth common with the rest of the world by and by is separated for a garden or vineyard to the Lord enclosed with his fence surrounded with his wall for him to possess and please himself with anon the fence the wall is broken down and it laid open and made common again and thus it is tossed and tumbled into several sorts of various conditions as often as the owner of it pleases and what shall be the issue of all who knows but he who is all There are many devices in the heart of man to exalt himself and throw down others every one thinks it will go well with him and is ready to prophecy Woes to others but the Counsel of the Lord it shall stand Others shall meet with that blessedness he promiseth to himself and he shall meet with those Woes he denounceth against others When Israel is a grievous slave the despicablest peece of earth throughout the whole Creation then is Israel picked out chosen for a vessel of glory When Israel lifts up it self above the rest of the world looks upon the rest as Heathen as Dogs it was their usual phrase to term the Gentiles by they were the chosen people the rest cast off they the holy people the rest prophane wicked sinners of the Gentiles Now must Israel be turned back and be put in mind of his own original which was the same with theirs his father was an Amorite and his mother an Hittite and he must change places with them a parcel of the Heathen must become the choyce separated people and these must be cast by Having tasted somewhat of this in my own spirit having been hurled by might and power into several forms and shapes and such too as I have been strongly fortified against and have strongly opposed it hath made me somewhat shy of finding fault with any peece of clay in what guise soever I find it And I cannot but advise all who have respect to their own ease and safety to take heed how they judg these persons This is no ordinary case and though Sence or Reason much more Religion may presume upon the seeming clearness of the ground and so grow bold in pronouncing sentence against them yet it is the light of the day can alone
the earth must not enjoy theirs long after When Christ cryed out My God my God why hast thou forsaken me there was immediately an Earthquake And when the people of Christ who are of the same Body feel the same things and cannot but express the same sence cry out O God thou hast cast us off thou hast broken us thou hast shut up the light of thy countenance which was ever our life in the displeasure of thine heart the earth shall feel somewhat to complain of too When he falls upon all the several parcels of his own holy Land to lay them flat he will likewise arise to shake terribly the earth And he doth here so tear and rent it that he makes it tremble under sense of what it feels and of what it further expects But this is no delight to the poor people of God They desire not to have the earth share with them in misery Though the earth has ever delighted to see them rent and torn has been still persecuting them even when God has smitten them yea most when they have been most smitten by him yet they have no pleasure in the breaches God makes on the earth but would fain have them healed and put up a very affectionate request here for it Heal the breaches thereof for it shaketh It cannot stand long in this posture visit it betimes with health with Salvation It shakes already relieve it rescue it before it shake quite in peeces Vers 3. Thou hast shewed thy people hard things Thou hast dealt very hardly with thy people Oh many hard things that we could mention many bitter sharp passages that our spirits have been sensible of We never looked that God should have dealt so with us Who ever would have told us that God would have dealt so with his people we should have accounted him an abominable lyar We looked indeed for hardships in the way hard graplings with enemies but we did not look for such things from him We thought he would have stood by us and have helped us we did not think that he himself would have wounded us deeper then any else could We did not look for such kind of things from thee O God and we cannot but complain of them as hard usage nay in no wise justifiable between God and his people according to the measure that we understood his Covenant and Promises by To give a particular instance of somewhat we have felt but never could expect or fear Thou hast made us to drink the wine of astonishment Astonishment is an amazedness of spirit When one knows not what to think which way to look nor what to do then a person is astonished Spiritual astonishment is when the Soul is astonished in and about spiritual things when the Soul does not know what to think of any thing that is spiritual A spiritual man knows spiritual things He knows the Father of Spirits and the way of a Spirits communion with his Father the way of the Spirit of Lifes going forth in his own Spirit He knows God Christ Heaven Hell Life Death Joy Peace c. Spiritual astonishment is the amazement of the Spirit concerning these when the Soul does not know what to think of any spiritual thing as of God or Christ Heaven or Hell c. wonders whether there be any such things or no wonders whether his knowledg as he accounted it formerly of them was not a meer imagination wonders at every creature that he sees at every thing that he hears what it is what it means is in a condition that he is amazed how he came into it finds continual misery and torment attending him but cannot tell which way to stir for any relief can neither tell how to stir nor yet how to stand still cannot tell how to hope or how to despair would fain move some way but cannot would fain stand still some where but cannot would fain know or be quiet under its ignorance but can find no bottom to fasten either on This is spiritual astonishment true astonishment through astonishment If the Spirit could fix anywhere on any thing it were not perfectly astonished But when it knows nothing can own nothing can turn from nothing can turn towards nothing can move no whither nor abide anywhere it is confounded to purpose That which produceth this astonishment is wine drinking of wine it is a drunkenness with wine A wise man can search through the causes of things and is not easily astonished but if he drink wine hard it takes away his understanding from him The spiritual man is very wise can search into the causes of spiritual things and is not easily confounded at the variety of Gods ways till he come to drink wine and that strips him of his understanding likewise There is a wine of astonishment a wine that does naturally produce this effect as it was purposely made for this end A wine there is that God has made and prepared for the creature to drink which shall drink up all the excellency of the creature which whosoever drinks throughly of will quickly lose not only all his natural understanding but all his spiritual understanding also Psal. 75. 8. In the hand of the Lord there is a cup and the wine is red it is full of mixture Red wine wine mixed yea throughly mixed full of mixture sure it is very intoxicating very easily may he be brought into a state of astonishment who drinks such kind of wine But how come they to drink this wine Thou hast made us to drink It was not their love to the wine they had no mind to it they turned from it but thou hast made us to drink He poureth out of the same Psal. 75. 8. The dregs the wicked shall drink but they must drink the top They must begin to the world they must drink the first draught and be purged of all their earth and filth first Judgment must begin at the house of God Jerusalem must begin the Round to the rest of the Nations Though till they come to taste of it they are apt to mock at the mention of it Isai. 28. 22. thinking their nearness to God and interest in God to be such that they may laugh at destruction as beholding the evil day far from them and they themselves sufficiently fenced against its overtaking them No it must pass over all God holds the cup in his hand and if they will not drink he will pour it down their throats Thou hast made us to drink Therefore Jerusalem is said to drink it at the hand of the Lord Isai. 51. 17. Awake awake stand up O Jerusalem which hast drunk at the hand of the Lord the cup of his fury thou hast drunken the dregs of the cup of trembling and wrung them out When the Lord is pleased with Jerusalem he has a cup of sweet wine a cup of joy and delight to chear and refresh the Spirits of Jerusalem But when the Lord is angry he has
declare things of this nature and till the time of judgment be come that light may be withheld The nature and end of the various passages between God and his people are many times then most hid when they seem most manifest There is commonly deepest love in the bitterest cup and the purest glory is frequently vailed over with the darkest covering Flesh hath been always bold in judging it may now be met with there may now be a trap laid to catch and ensnare it to its own confusion and destruction This occasion is so palpable that it will be very hard for Flesh to avoyd being drawn out to judg and condemn and yet its being drawn forth may be but an entrance into its own judgment Methinks I see how apt man is according to his own state in Religion and according to his own apprehension of things presently to give out his verdict This is because the foundation was not well laid will some say This is the effect of their leaving Ordinances and Duties will others say This is the fruit of their prying into Mysteries and Secrets may a third sort conclude But how knowest thou O vain man that it ariseth from any of these or who gave thee liberty to vent thine own Imagination concerning so intricate a passage as thine eyes never met with before I can tell thee of another cause different from any of these whence it may proceed for ought thou knowest There is a wine prepared for all to drink of to empty them of all their glory which the people of God must begin with God will have no glory stand in his way Religion is the highest glory stands most in his way therefore that must first down Nature is glorious and doth glorifie God in its kinde but yet it stands in the way of Religion which is an higher glory Therefore the first thing Religion does where it comes in power is to break Nature to dash the glory of Nature Religion is more glorious and does more glorifie God but withall being more glorious it stands more in the way of a greater glory then the glory of Nature does and therefore the present controversie is more sharp against it then against Nature There is a time to set up and a time to pull down a time to raise and a time to level And that which is truly excellent and glorious in its kinde and degree must vail and dye when the season of the discovery of a greater glory draws nigh And the people of God speak very lamentably of it as a thing they did not look for as a thing they thought to have avoyded but were forced unto by a Power which could not be resisted Thou hast made us to drink the wine of astonishment There is a wine of Gods mingling that will astonish a wine made by his art and skill purposely to astonish which can without fail effect it a wine that will quickly lay the Creature dead drunk and strip him as naked if not more of all the knowledg of God yea of all spiritual excellencies as a man drunk after the common natural way is of the knowledg of natural things and of natural excellencies There is a Consumption determined to pass through the whole earth upon every earthly person and every earthly thing in persons truly spiritual Every earthly thing must be consumed Not onely earthly relations earthly converse earthly imaginations earthly endowments customs with the whole fashion of this outward world but likewise earthly Religion earthly Ordinances earthly duties earthly graces earthly knowledg of God earthly desires after God earthly enjoyments of God earthly acknowledgments of God earthly praising of God earthly hopes evidences assurances of everlasting life and blessedness all that is earthly must be consumed every where And that which you call spiritual heavenly in this dark eclipsed-Moon-light God may call earthly in his clear Sun-light and whatsoever he calls earthly must under-go this Consumption All flesh is grass and the glory thereof as the flower of the field the grass withereth the flower fadeth because the Spirit of the Lord bloweth upon it There is a blasting breath of the Lord gone forth and going forth which shall make every thing that is fleshly that is not pure spirit to dye and give up the ghost There is a terrible storm and tempest to come forth Isai. 28. 2. to batter down all the beauty and glory of Ephraim of dear Ephraim of Ephraim the pleasant Childe Now hence it may proceed These persons may have been made to drink this wine This judgment which is to go over all may be begun in them The Spirit of the Lord which will blow upon and make the glorious beauty of all to fade may have already blown upon them and have so blown upon tâ—em that there may no remainders of that life and sweetness whereof their spirits were once full be left standing Therefore look about you Let him that standeth take heed lest he fall Consider what ye will do when ye come to drink of this cup how ye will keep off astonishment and preserve in you the knowledg of spiritual things when ye are made to drink the wine of astonishment how ye will do to retain the beauty and glory of your Religion when the Spirit of the Lord blows upon it Alass Sirs If these things be done to the green tree what will become of the dry If persons in whom there was such an eminent power purity and life of Religion as there was known to be in many of these be thus dealt with be thus stripped have the very foundation so struck at in them what will become of persons who have very little better then a Form whether of Presbytery Independency Anabaptism or any other kinde how will these stand against the tempest how quickly will the unquenchable fire devour such stubble If the Oaks of Bashan the Cedars of Lebanon persons of such height such strength be fell'd to the ground be burnt in the fire be so much consumed have so little if any thing at all left what shall become of the Brambles of the Forrest And yet none more forward and confident in judging then such as are least able to stand and shall soonest fall when they come to Judgment But I will insist no longer on this which is to the point in hand but circumstantial but proceed now to the thing it self which is of substance indeed and of very great weight which is this Whether we are to expect any other state which that we are or have been in and that the Primitive Christians were in is to give way to Whereunto I have this to say There seemeth to me to be a larger pouring out of the Spirit promised and to be expected in the latter days then hath as yet been dispenced larger both for extent and vertue it is to be poured out more generally upon the people of God I will pour out my Spirit upon all flesh and more
effectually upon those on whom it is poured out and your sons and your daughters shall prophecy c. This second pouring forth of the Spirit is to be fuller of vertue and efficacy in several respects 1. In respect of the knowledg of things and the way of dispensing it There was a great deal of knowledg given out then in respect of what had been before and after a far clearer and more powerful manner but yet it was still weak dark imperfect and given out by weak fleshly instruments earthen vessels and in a weak fleshly manner through much infirmity of the flesh as Paul speaks And it was received in but weakly too so that ignorance did still prevail and men were very carnal and dark under those administrations and receptions of Light and had need to be taught over and over again the very elements and first principles of Christianity But at the second pouring out of the Spirit there shall be no need of any such givings out of Light Ye shall not teach every man his neighbor saying Know the Lord Knowledg shall then be universal among the people of God They shall all know me from the least to the greatest The knowledg of the Lord shall cover the Earth as waters cover the Sea Now there is a gasping after more Light more discoveries of God but then every vessel shall be filled and filled from the Fountain The waters shall be no more sullied by the pipes that convey it but pure Light shall spring from within 2. In respect of the remembrance of things It was a work appertaining to the Spirit upon his first pouring forth to bring things to their remembrance The things that Christ had spoken what they had known or heard that was useful for them the Spirit was to put them in minde of when they should need it either for direction or comfort But at the second pouring out of the Spirit the Spirit shall indeed bring all things to our remembrance much more fully all the things of God all the things in God all the things done by God Then we shall indeed remember the things of old before this late Earth was formed when there was nothing but the Light of God the Life of God the Power of God circling within its own pleasure 3. In respect of power over spirituall enemies and evils They had power over these in a great measure They could in some sence play with sin laugh in their spirits at the condemnation of it at the reigning power of it There is therefore now no condemnation to them that are in Christ and if sin abound grace abounds much more and again Sin shall not have dominion over us for we are not under the Law but under Grace here is fine sporting with sin But for all that it was but sad sport sometimes sin gave them now and then such gripes as made them roar out Oh wretched man and Who shall deliver Yea the body of sin stuck so close as troubled the best of them all their dayes so that they could not throughly do the things that they would nor throughly avoyd the things they would not do but were often forced by the power of sinne to do what they hated So for the world They were delivered from this present evill world but so as they were still troubled with it and faine much to be pressed not to love the world nor the things of the world not to fashion themselves to the world c. They were half out and half in got out from the world and yet the world stuck close to them drawn upwards by the Spirit and yet still held downwards by the flesh And for the Devill his head was a little crushed but he was not quite trodden under foot They were not ignorant of his devices they knew his wiles well and yet for all that they were not free from being entangled by him Paul himself was buffeted by his messenger He went up and down the very Churches like a roaring Lyon seeking whom he might devoure neither was he content with particular souls but he never left till he had swallowed up all the Churches But at the second pouring out of the Spirit spirituall enemies and spirituall evils shall be pure sport Nothing shall hurt or destroy in all Gods holy mountain Then the sucking child shall play on the hole of the Aspe and the weaned child shall put his hand on the Cockatrice den The sting of sin shall be so taken out that it shall be as harmless as any other thing Such Light such Life such Puritie shall then be dispensed as shall transform the very nature of things Darkness shall become Light Death Life Impurity Purity unto them They shall be so fully so truely pure as all things shall be pure to them so fully living as all things shall be life to them and full of that light which maketh every thing light about it Sin and Devil and Hell have no evill Originally in themselves but only by a sharp Law are made terrible to weak flesh but are very pleasant to the might and strength of perfect Spirit 4. In respect of wisdome to use things They had not wisdom proportionable to make use of the things bestowed on them They knew not how to manage their gifts and graces as appears in the 12. chap. of the 1 Epist. to the Church of Corinth to the best advantage but their very table became a snare to them Their food though it was weak yet it was too strong for their stomacks The wine of the Spirit was too heady for their weak braines so that it turned them out of the way Paul himself though more then an ordinary man yet not able to bear more then ordinary Revelations But at the second powring out of the Spirit he shall become a perfect guide There shall be wanting neither light to see the right nor life to fall in with it to the full The way of holiness true holiness not a shadowie not a representative but true holiness shall be so plain that waifaring men that never went that way before though fools who have no skill in it who know not how to ask a wise question about it shall not erre therein And this is my interest herein lies my heart this is all the little hope that is left me or rather that is a little revived in me after the bitter death and losse of all And if this also faile me or be over-much prolonged I know not which way to turn having nothing further to expect but to lye down in miserie I have seen an end of all the perfection I have hitherto been acquainted with and if I had it again yet it would be too narrow to yield my Spirit content which through much extremity hath been forced from its hold to seek out and pant after a firmer a deeper a larger foundation And now what shall I say to you my dear ones had I a word in Season oh