ghost_n in_o several_a form_n chap._n 14._o above_o all_o the_o ecstasy_n of_o this_o belove_a spouse_n of_o jesus_n that_o one_o be_v admirable_a which_o she_o have_v upon_o the_o vigil_n of_o the_o holy_a ghost_n in_o the_o year_n 1585._o wherein_o she_o remain_v eight_o continual_a day_n from_o the_o say_a vigil_n until_o the_o feast_n of_o the_o bless_a trinity_n return_v only_o to_o her_o sense_n for_o the_o space_n of_o two_o hour_n every_o day_n wherein_o she_o recite_v her_o office_n and_o provide_v for_o the_o necessity_n of_o her_o life_n by_o feed_v only_o upon_o a_o little_a bread_n and_o water_n and_o take_v very_o little_a rest_n in_o this_o time_n she_o do_v every_o morning_n receive_v at_o the_o hour_n of_o tertia_fw-la the_o holy_a ghost_n in_o diverse_a form_n of_o fire_n of_o a_o river_n of_o a_o dove_n of_o a_o pillar_n of_o a_o cloud_n of_o a_o wind_n and_o of_o flame_v tongue_n and_o at_o the_o same_o time_n she_o become_v so_o joyful_a and_o bright_a and_o do_v speak_v so_o sublime_o of_o the_o most_o hide_a mystery_n that_o it_o be_v a_o thing_n miraculous_a and_o yet_o further_o while_o she_o be_v speak_v in_o the_o person_n of_o the_o eternal_a father_n or_o of_o christ_n or_o of_o herself_o her_o voice_n will_v be_v change_v in_o such_o sort_n that_o even_o without_o understand_v the_o word_n one_o may_v have_v know_v that_o they_o be_v diverse_a person_n which_o discourse_v by_o her_o tongue_n so_o many_o be_v the_o spiritual_a intelligence_n which_o our_o lord_n communicate_v unto_o she_o in_o this_o rapt_v as_o that_o be_v set_v down_o by_o the_o religious_a as_o she_o produce_v they_o they_o make_v a_o just_a volume_n whereof_o be_v compile_v a_o addition_n to_o the_o three_o part_n of_o her_o life_n but_o to_o give_v some_o pattern_n of_o the_o aforesaid_a extasis_fw-la i_o say_v that_o on_o the_o vigil_n of_o the_o holy_a ghost_n which_o come_v that_o year_n upon_o the_o eight_o of_o june_n she_o be_v call_v by_o the_o eternal_a father_n in_o these_o word_n come_v my_o spouse_n the_o rest_n &_o yet_o the_o impulse_n of_o my_o spirit_n whereupon_o she_o remain_v sudden_o abstract_v from_o her_o sense_n &_o say_v ecce_fw-la venio_fw-la venio_fw-la citò_fw-la citò_fw-la venio_fw-la and_o have_v be_v a_o while_n in_o contemplation_n she_o begin_v thus_o to_o speak_v in_o the_o person_n of_o the_o incarnate_a word_n before_o thou_o enter_v into_o the_o admirable_a knowledge_n of_o my_o holy_a ghost_n i_o will_v make_v know_v to_o thou_o what_o i_o mean_v to_o do_v with_o thou_o therefore_o be_v attentive_a here_o she_o stay_v a_o while_n and_o then_o resume_v the_o discourse_n still_o in_o the_o person_n of_o the_o eternal_a word_n know_v that_o until_o the_o day_n where_o you_o there_o below_o do_v celebrate_v that_o feast_n whereon_o thou_o do_v so_o intrinsical_o knit_v thyself_o to_o i_o and_o i_o in_o so_o great_a abundance_n give_v myself_o to_o thou_o which_o be_v mean_v of_o the_o profession_n which_o the_o year_n before_o she_o have_v make_v upon_o the_o day_n of_o the_o most_o holy_a trinity_n thou_o shall_v be_v unite_v to_o i_o in_o such_o sort_n that_o thou_o shall_v be_v make_v partaker_n of_o divin_v treasure_n yet_o further_o know_v that_o for_o the_o space_n of_o five_o year_n as_o heretofore_o i_o tell_v thou_o i_o will_v deprive_v thou_o of_o the_o feel_n of_o my_o grace_n but_o not_o of_o my_o grace_n itself_o for_o that_o shall_v ever_o be_v in_o thou_o that_o privation_n shall_v be_v make_v for_o the_o glory_n of_o my_o father_n for_o the_o joy_n of_o the_o angel_n and_o of_o all_o the_o bless_a spirit_n which_o stand_v assist_v at_o the_o throne_n of_o the_o most_o holy_a trinity_n for_o the_o example_n of_o mortal_a creature_n for_o the_o great_a torment_n of_o damn_a soul_n for_o the_o confusion_n of_o devil_n for_o the_o ease_n of_o the_o soul_n in_o purgatory_n and_o for_o the_o comfort_n of_o thyself_o i_o will_v also_o proceed_v with_o thou_o like_a to_o a_o valorous_a captain_n who_o before_o he_o exalt_v his_o soldier_n to_o high_a honour_n do_v put_v he_o to_o many_o proof_n and_o so_o i_o before_o i_o will_v exalt_v thou_o in_o the_o sight_n of_o my_o father_n will_v prove_v thou_o first_o thou_o shall_v therefore_o endeavour_v to_o have_v in_o thou_o the_o knowledge_n of_o thy_o being_n nothing_o and_o to_o be_v ever_o second_v and_o execute_v the_o internal_a inspiration_n which_o i_o will_v give_v thou_o as_o hitherto_o thou_o have_v do_v but_o although_o thou_o have_v heretofore_o do_v it_o with_o much_o endeavour_n yet_o hereafter_o thou_o must_v do_v it_o with_o much_o more_o thou_o shall_v procure_v to_o observe_v nay_o i_o command_v thou_o that_o thou_o do_v observe_v interior_o withal_o sincerity_n all_o the_o direction_n which_o i_o have_v give_v thou_o thou_o shall_v reprove_v the_o defect_n of_o other_o speak_v ever_o all_o truth_n i_o tell_v thou_o yet_o further_o that_o in_o all_o the_o feria_n sexta_n if_o thou_o will_v be_v attentive_a at_o the_o hour_n when_o i_o die_v upon_o the_o cross_n thou_o shall_v receive_v the_o spirit_n which_o i_o render_v to_o my_o eternal_a father_n and_o although_o thou_o feel_v it_o not_o yet_o shall_v it_o ever_o descend_v on_o thou_o and_o as_o the_o creature_n can_v live_v without_o a_o hart_n so_o i_o can_v be_v without_o thou_o whensoever_o thou_o shall_v have_v the_o knowledge_n of_o thy_o being_n nothing_o which_o as_o long_o as_o it_o remain_v in_o thou_o thou_o may_v well_o be_v confident_a that_o thou_o shall_v ever_o be_v unite_v to_o i_o and_o my_o peace_n shall_v be_v with_o thou_o although_o it_o may_v seem_v to_o thou_o that_o thou_o be_v in_o continual_a war_n because_o in_o this_o probation_n which_o i_o will_v make_v of_o thou_o many_o infernal_a lion_n will_v come_v forth_o against_o thou_o beat_v thou_o and_o give_v thou_o torment_n nor_o shall_v they_o only_o strive_v to_o beat_v thou_o exterior_o but_o also_o interior_o with_o great_a fury_n yet_o they_o shall_v not_o be_v permit_v by_o i_o to_o have_v power_n to_o conquer_v thou_o but_o thou_o shall_v ever_o be_v store_v with_o this_o same_o grace_n of_o i_o which_o now_o thou_o have_v nay_o how_o much_o more_o they_o come_v towards_o thou_o with_o violence_n so_o much_o more_o shall_v my_o favourable_a assistance_n towards_o thou_o superabound_v although_o it_o be_v to_o be_v without_o any_o feel_a comfort_n of_o thy_o to_o this_o she_o answer_v cheerful_o sufficit_fw-la mihi_fw-la gratia_fw-la tua_fw-la and_o after_o have_v be_v a_o while_n in_o silence_n the_o discourse_n of_o the_o incarnate_a word_n follow_v on_o with_o great_a earnestness_n and_o abundance_n of_o speech_n to_o this_o effect_n there_o will_v not_o be_v want_v such_o as_o i_o have_v appoint_v to_o favour_v thou_o this_o be_v say_v by_o her_o patron-saint_n in_o bring_v to_o thou_o spiritual_a food_n and_o thou_o shall_v speedy_o fly_v under_o the_o shadow_n of_o my_o purity_n not_o make_v any_o motion_n or_o operation_n without_o that_o although_o yet_o even_o this_o shall_v be_v without_o the_o feel_n of_o my_o grace_n against_o the_o five_o grievous_a temptation_n by_o which_o thou_o shall_v be_v most_o assault_v thou_o shall_v arm_v thyself_o with_o the_o gift_n which_o already_o i_o have_v communicate_v to_o thou_o thou_o shall_v take_v in_o the_o first_o assault_v my_o purity_n in_o the_o second_o my_o hart_n and_o thy_o in_o the_o three_o my_o wound_n which_o thou_o have_v of_o i_o in_o the_o four_o the_o crown_n of_o thorn_n which_o i_o wear_v in_o the_o five_o the_o great_a desire_n which_o thou_o have_v of_o the_o salvation_n of_o my_o creature_n and_o if_o all_o the_o devil_n in_o hell_n come_v with_o great_a fury_n to_o fright_v thou_o thou_o shall_v not_o yet_o be_v afraid_a for_o as_o their_o envy_n have_v no_o end_n so_o i_o will_v never_o be_v want_v to_o continue_v my_o grace_n in_o thou_o and_o fail_v not_o thou_o to_o relate_v that_o which_o thou_o shall_v participate_v therein_o this_o be_v mean_v by_o the_o high_a intelligence_n which_o he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o grant_v she_o as_o afterward_o appear_v after_o these_o word_n she_o have_v hear_v those_o heavenly_a direction_n reply_v in_o she_o own_o person_n o_o thou_o only_o beget_v o_o incarnate_a and_o humane_a word_n who_o can_v execute_v thy_o great_a work_n in_o respect_n of_o thou_o they_o be_v little_a but_o for_o i_o they_o be_v great_a upon_o this_o thought_n she_o remain_v a_o while_n in_o silence_n &_o find_v herself_o still_o to_o be_v fill_v more_o and_o more_o with_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n she_o follow_v thus_o who_o shall_v ever_o be_v able_a to_o resist_v so_o great_a assault_n but_o such_o a_o one_o as_o be_v transform_v into_o thou_o o_o my_o god_n
host_n so_o do_v she_o râ—ise_v by_o little_a &_o little_a with_o admirable_a reverence_n that_o sacred_a image_n towards_o the_o eternal_a father_n say_v in_o the_o first_o of_o these_o place_n offero_fw-la tibi_fw-la sancte_fw-la pater_fw-la fiâ—ium_fw-la tuum_fw-la quem_fw-la ab_fw-la aeterno_fw-la genuisti_fw-la &_o mihi_fw-la in_o terram_fw-la misisti_fw-la holy_a father_n i_o offer_v thy_o son_n to_o thou_o who_o thou_o have_v beget_v before_o all_o eternity_n and_o who_o thou_o have_v send_v into_o this_o world_n go_v towards_o the_o second_o place_n she_o add_v this_o in_o the_o way_n vivo_fw-la â—go_fw-la iam_fw-la non_fw-la ego_fw-la vivit_fw-la verò_fw-la in_o i_o christus_fw-la dilectus_fw-la meus_fw-la candidus_fw-la &_o rubicundus_fw-la i_o live_v yet_o not_o i_o but_o christ_n in_o i_o my_o belove_a be_v white_a and_o red_a and_o be_v now_o where_o she_o desire_v to_o be_v she_o perform_v the_o same_o action_n as_o before_o she_o have_v do_v in_o the_o first_o place_n say_v offero_fw-la tibi_fw-la aeterne_n pater_fw-la filium_fw-la tuum_fw-la quem_fw-la ab_fw-la aeterno_fw-la in_o sinu_fw-la tenuisti_fw-la &_o in_o sapientia_fw-la tua_fw-la generasti_fw-la &_o propter_fw-la miseriam_fw-la meam_fw-la &_o misericordiam_fw-la tuam_fw-la in_o terram_fw-la misisti_fw-la o_o eternal_a father_n i_o offer_v thy_o son_n to_o thou_o who_o from_o all_o eternity_n thou_o do_v keep_v in_o thy_o bosom_n &_o who_o in_o thy_o wisdom_n thou_o do_v beget_v and_o who_o in_o thy_o mercy_n thou_o do_v send_v into_o the_o world_n for_o the_o relief_n of_o our_o misery_n afterward_o in_o the_o three_o place_n use_v the_o self_n same_o ceremony_n she_o also_o say_v offero_fw-la tibi_fw-la filium_fw-la tuum_fw-la aeterne_a pater_n quem_fw-la post_fw-la resurrectionem_fw-la eius_fw-la ad_fw-la te_fw-la attraxisti_fw-la &_o ad_fw-la dexteram_fw-la tuam_fw-la collocasti_fw-la o_o eternal_a father_n to_o thou_o i_o offer_v thy_o son_n who_o after_o his_o resurrection_n thou_o do_v draw_v up_o to_o thou_o and_o do_v place_v he_o at_o thy_o right_a hand_n when_o she_o have_v finish_v these_o oblation_n she_o return_v into_o the_o choir_n and_o ascend_v up_o to_o the_o altar_n of_o the_o b._n virgin_n she_o give_v the_o little_a child_n jesus_n to_o be_v kiss_v by_o all_o the_o religious_a who_o be_v come_v in_o to_o that_o devout_a spectacle_n reach_v towards_o one_o the_o head_n of_o that_o sacred_a image_n â—o_o another_o the_o breast_n to_o some_o the_o hand_n and_o to_o other_o the_o foot_n according_a as_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n do_v guide_v she_o with_o these_o pious_a fervour_n she_o do_v so_o kindle_v the_o mind_n of_o her_o sister_n both_o towards_o devotion_n and_o wonder_n that_o there_o be_v not_o any_o one_o to_o be_v find_v who_o accompany_v not_o her_o action_n with_o tear_n at_o last_o she_o return_v from_o she_o rapt_v wherein_o she_o have_v continue_v for_o three_o hour_n she_o understand_v from_o god_n how_o his_o pleasure_n be_v that_o she_o shall_v go_v barefoot_a and_o base_o clad_v she_o perform_v it_o all_o and_o in_o the_o bosom_n of_o a_o image_n of_o the_o b._n virgin_n she_o promise_v to_o observe_v it_o she_o be_v prove_v by_o her_o superior_n chap._n 21._o on_o the_o 5._o day_n of_o july_n in_o the_o year_n 1587._o after_o she_o have_v serve_v the_o religious_a at_o the_o table_n as_o she_o go_v towards_o the_o dormitory_n of_o the_o novice_n unto_o the_o government_n of_o who_o mistress_n she_o be_v at_o that_o time_n subject_n she_o be_v rapt_v in_o spirit_n and_o have_v deliver_v a_o few_o word_n sudden_o she_o raise_v herself_o on_o foot_n with_o such_o gravity_n and_o cleerne_n of_o countenance_n that_o she_o seem_v to_o be_v some_o angelical_a spirit_n and_o have_v take_v of_o her_o hose_n and_o shoe_n and_o go_v into_o her_o cell_n she_o remove_v every_o thing_n without_o exception_n from_o of_o the_o little_a altar_n of_o her_o oratory_n save_v only_o a_o crucifix_n nor_o do_v she_o leave_v any_o thing_n upon_o her_o bed_n but_o the_o mattress_n the_o sack_n of_o straw_n and_o a_o board_n at_o the_o head_n instead_o of_o a_o bolster_n afterwards_o be_v come_v to_o the_o press_n where_o the_o sister_n clothes_n be_v keep_v and_o take_v thence_o the_o poor_a &_o most_o patch_a coat_n that_o she_o can_v find_v she_o retire_v into_o a_o private_a room_n and_o apparel_v herself_o therewith_o and_o when_o she_o see_v herself_o so_o vile_o clad_v she_o fall_v sudden_o prostrate_a upon_o the_o ground_n and_o yet_o fix_v her_o eye_n upon_o heaven_n with_o incredible_a devotion_n she_o recite_v te_fw-la deum_fw-la etc._n etc._n beside_o make_v up_o her_o former_a clothes_n into_o a_o bundle_n be_v still_o in_o rapt_v she_o carry_v they_o to_o the_o prioress_n and_o then_o pass_v into_o the_o choir_n go_v up_o to_o the_o altar_n of_o the_o b._n virgin_n and_o there_o in_o the_o bosom_n of_o her_o image_n with_o the_o pen_n ink_n and_o paper_n that_o she_o have_v bring_v thither_o for_o that_o purpose_n she_o write_v these_o word_n i_o suor_n maria_n maddalena_n make_v profession_n and_o do_v promise_n to_o god_n and_o to_o his_o most_o pure_a mother_n the_o virgin_n mary_n to_o s._n catharine_n of_o sienna_n and_o to_o the_o seraphical_a francis_n together_o with_o all_o the_o celestial_a court_n obedience_n chastity_n and_o poverty_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o god_n at_o this_o instant_n do_v make_v i_o understand_v and_o know_v it_o with_o firm_a purpose_n that_o i_o will_v never_o leave_v it_o unless_o i_o shall_v have_v true_a light_n that_o his_o pleasure_n be_v otherwise_o as_o now_o i_o understand_v that_o it_o be_v true_o he_o who_o be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v observe_v this_o kind_n of_o poverty_n and_o therefore_o confide_v in_o his_o help_n and_o mercy_n i_o make_v this_o profession_n in_o manu_fw-la puritatis_fw-la mariae_fw-la in_o the_o hand_n of_o the_o purity_n of_o mary_n and_o in_o make_v of_o this_o profession_n she_o ever_o hold_v her_o left_a hand_n in_o the_o hand_n of_o the_o image_n of_o the_o b._n virgin_n she_o further_o speak_v with_o so_o much_o spirit_n of_o holy_a poverty_n that_o she_o kindle_v a_o ardent_a desire_n thereof_o in_o the_o hart_n of_o whosoever_o hear_v she_o and_o turn_v then_o again_o towards_o the_o b._n virgin_n with_o word_n of_o incredible_a tenderness_n she_o pray_v she_o to_o keep_v she_o in_o continual_a protection_n and_o that_o she_o will_v help_v she_o to_o execute_v whatsoever_o our_o lord_n have_v require_v of_o she_o this_o be_v say_v she_o depart_v and_o return_v thither_o where_o she_o be_v take_v into_o this_o rapt_v she_o speak_v these_o word_n agimus_fw-la tibi_fw-la deo_fw-la gratias_fw-la etc._n etc._n we_o thank_v thou_o o_o god_n etc._n etc._n then_o go_v to_o mother_n prioress_n she_o beg_v of_o she_o with_o great_a fervour_n of_o spirit_n after_o she_o have_v prostrate_v herself_o at_o her_o foot_n that_o she_o will_v not_o hinder_v she_o from_o that_o kind_n of_o life_n which_o by_o god_n have_v be_v prescribe_v to_o she_o the_o superior_a answer_v discreet_o that_o the_o confessarius_fw-la be_v first_o to_o be_v acquaint_v with_o it_o and_o that_o she_o shall_v govern_v herself_o according_a to_o his_o advice_n now_o as_o soon_o as_o he_o have_v notice_n of_o it_o he_o call_v the_o spouse_n of_o christ_n to_o he_o and_o to_o try_v she_o command_v she_o by_o obedience_n that_o instant_o she_o shall_v apparel_v herself_o as_o former_o she_o have_v be_v use_v to_o do_v upon_o the_o hear_n of_o these_o word_n she_o ready_o and_o without_o delay_n obey_v and_o though_o she_o break_v forth_o into_o bitter_a tear_n fear_v lest_o former_o she_o have_v be_v delude_v as_o not_o find_v the_o will_n of_o her_o ghostly_a father_n to_o be_v agreeable_a to_o that_o which_o she_o think_v to_o be_v the_o will_n of_o god_n yet_o nevertheless_o she_o quiet_v herself_o note_n note_n and_o be_v retire_v into_o a_o private_a room_n she_o perform_v that_o which_o be_v impose_v by_o obedience_n but_o on_o the_o morning_n next_o follow_v our_o lord_n do_v comfort_v she_o abundant_o in_o the_o holy_a communion_n &_o let_v she_o know_v that_o her_o ghostly_a father_n do_v it_o to_o try_v her_o spirit_n he_o say_v that_o her_o so_o ready_a obedience_n be_v grateful_a to_o he_o whereupon_o she_o be_v urge_v by_o a_o new_a fervour_n of_o spirit_n return_v to_o the_o old_a clothes_n and_o take_v the_o worst_a of_o they_o she_o be_v put_v they_o on_o and_o look_v up_o towards_o heaven_n remain_v all_o this_o while_n in_o rapt_v she_o say_v well_o yet_o o_o my_o jesus_n now_o that_o i_o be_o with_o thou_o i_o will_v obey_v thou_o when_o i_o shall_v be_v there_o below_o i_o will_v obey_v they_o she_o be_v see_v by_o mother_n prioress_n to_o take_v the_o say_v old_a clothes_n and_o she_o have_v hardly_o pronounce_v these_o very_a word_n suor_n maria_n
it_o shall_v cost_v i_o my_o life_n unless_o the_o ghostly_a father_n shall_v impose_v it_o upon_o mâ—ly_a obedience_n for_o i_o think_v that_o i_o be_o â—urâ—_n that_o if_o i_o have_v not_o the_o daily_a help_n of_o this_o most_o holy_a communion_n i_o can_v not_o support_v the_o continual_a pain_n of_o my_o infirmity_n together_o with_o the_o great_a desolation_n of_o my_o spirit_n but_o after_o i_o have_v receive_v this_o food_n of_o life_n i_o feel_v much_o vigour_n towards_o the_o endure_a of_o my_o affliction_n among_o the_o rest_n one_o of_o the_o thing_n that_o much_o pain_v she_o be_v the_o be_v continual_o in_o her_o bed_n for_o in_o that_o she_o be_v of_o a_o active_a nature_n she_o feel_v extreme_a mortification_n thereby_o and_o she_o be_v wont_a to_o say_v that_o our_o lord_n can_v not_o send_v she_o a_o pain_n to_o which_o natural_o she_o may_v have_v more_o repugnance_n then_o to_o this_o but_o yet_o because_o she_o know_v for_o certain_a that_o such_o be_v the_o will_n 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sweeten_v any_o bitterness_n of_o pain_n whatsoever_o but_o that_o say_v she_o which_o i_o desire_v now_o of_o god_n be_v this_o that_o he_o wâ—ll_n grant_v i_o a_o pure_a suffering_n mind_n admittable_a strength_n of_o mind_n and_o that_o it_o may_v be_v temper_v with_o no_o delight_n and_o through_o the_o confidence_n which_o i_o have_v in_o the_o divine_a goodness_n i_o hope_v that_o before_o i_o die_v i_o shall_v obtain_v this_o grace_n for_o i_o know_v that_o these_o delicate_a meat_n which_o be_v so_o grateful_a to_o our_o taste_n can_v be_v feed_v upon_o at_o that_o beavenly_a table_n she_o be_v violent_o handle_v by_o her_o sickness_n and_o she_o support_v all_o with_o singular_a patience_n chap._n 73._o this_o her_o so_o earnest_a desire_n of_o suffer_v be_v not_o make_v in_o vain_a for_o to_o such_o term_n the_o holy_a mother_n be_v reduce_v that_o in_o this_o cross_n of_o infirmity_n she_o resemble_v after_o a_o sort_n she_o jesus_n when_o by_o the_o most_o intense_a pain_n of_o the_o cross_n he_o be_v torment_v and_o although_o in_o her_o necessity_n the_o religious_a be_v ever_o present_a and_o there_o be_v no_o want_n of_o any_o thing_n yet_o in_o all_o this_o she_o take_v no_o comfort_n at_o all_o &_o she_o will_v say_v sometime_o that_o she_o have_v a_o hart_n uncapable_a of_o any_o thing_n but_o anguish_n and_o those_o thing_n which_o be_v wont_a to_o bring_v her_o comfort_n be_v now_o change_v into_o pain_n and_o grief_n her_o torment_n together_o with_o the_o danger_n of_o her_o life_n grow_v to_o be_v every_o day_n more_o &_o more_o but_o that_o breed_v no_o decrease_n in_o she_o of_o the_o ardent_a desire_n to_o grow_v in_o suffer_v and_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o much_o anguish_n by_o moment_n cast_v up_o her_o eye_n to_o heaven_n she_o thank_v god_n for_o have_v preserve_v her_o life_n until_o that_o hour_n wherein_o she_o try_v and_o taste_v of_o pure_a sufferance_n for_o love_n of_o he_o even_o as_o herself_o can_v have_v wish_v sometym_n consider_v the_o part_n oâ—_n her_o body_n make_v subject_a to_o so_o continual_a pâ—â—nes_n she_o say_v i_o know_v wâ—ll_n that_o my_o sinne_n be_v such_o also_o many_o that_o i_o dâ—serue_v another_o manner_n oâ—_n châ—istâ—emâ—nt_v then_o this_o moreover_o the_o pain_n of_o her_o tooth_n do_v solicit_v she_o for_o the_o space_n of_o two_o year_n note_n note_n night_n and_o day_n wâ—th_v such_o fury_n that_o she_o be_v sometime_o urge_v to_o break_v into_o lamentable_a woâ—ds_n when_o she_o find_v no_o remedy_n that_o can_v ease_v she_o this_o pain_n be_v in_o such_o degree_n that_o she_o can_v not_o touch_v one_o row_n of_o her_o tooth_n with_o the_o other_o so_o as_o when_o she_o be_v to_o take_v her_o food_n the_o tear_n be_v force_v from_o her_o eye_n and_o yet_o further_o this_o pain_n do_v so_o consume_v and_o ear_n into_o the_o very_a root_n of_o her_o tooth_n that_o all_o of_o they_o by_o little_a and_o little_o fall_v out_o of_o her_o mouth_n through_o the_o excess_n of_o anguish_n if_o she_o chance_v to_o have_v a_o appetite_n to_o one_o thing_n more_o than_o another_o she_o esteem_v it_o for_o a_o notable_a defect_n to_o give_v any_o sign_n thereof_o and_o much_o more_o to_o make_v it_o express_o know_v and_o because_o a_o lady_n who_o be_v devote_a to_o she_o and_o most_o affectionate_a to_o the_o monastery_n be_v induce_v by_o charity_n do_v often_o send_v thither_o some_o meat_n well_o make_v whereby_o the_o afflict_a mother_n may_v in_o some_o sort_n restore_v herself_o she_o understand_v it_o make_v a_o scruple_n and_o will_v not_o eat_v thereof_o but_o because_o there_o be_v they_o nothing_o else_o which_o may_v give_v her_o nutriment_n she_o be_v exhort_v by_o the_o ghostly_a father_n to_o taste_v of_o it_o assure_v she_o that_o she_o may_v depose_v all_o scruple_n by_o this_o mean_n she_o quiet_v herself_o yet_o feel_v ever_o great_a aversion_n in_o take_v such_o meat_n as_o those_o and_o she_o will_v often_o say_v that_o even_o in_o sickness_n they_o shall_v not_o look_v to_o any_o other_o thing_n note_n note_n but_o that_o holy_a poverty_n may_v shine_v at_o all_o time_n and_o so_o by_o how_o much_o more_o delicate_a and_o curious_o dress_v the_o meat_n be_v which_o she_o be_v to_o take_v so_o much_o more_o difficulty_n &_o pain_n she_o find_v in_o take_v they_o keep_v ever_o her_o mind_n stiff_o bend_v upon_o the_o life_n of_o christ_n jesus_n who_o for_o the_o reason_n of_o our_o salvation_n reject_v all_o contentment_n whatsoever_o the_o pa_z nes_z of_o her_o head_n do_v daily_o more_o and_o more_o torment_v she_o and_o especial_o upon_o the_o friday_n for_o than_o she_o always_o suffer_v extraordinary_a affliction_n after_o that_o by_o jesus_n he_o crown_v of_o thorn_n be_v put_v upon_o her_o head_n as_o may_v be_v see_v in_o the_o seven_o chapter_n of_o the_o second_o part_n besides_o she_o find_v oftentimes_o that_o her_o body_n be_v as_o if_o it_o have_v be_v pierce_v through_o by_o certain_a cruel_a shoot_n which_o torment_v she_o like_o so_o many_o dart_n and_o last_o a_o istue_n which_o the_o physician_n have_v make_v for_o the_o lessen_v of_o her_o infirmity_n put_v she_o to_o much_o trouble_n in_o that_o weak_a state_n and_o instead_o of_o ease_v do_v afflicâ—_n she_o upon_o the_o feel_n of_o all_o these_o payneâ—_n turn_v her_o eye_n towards_o a_o crucifix_n shâ—_n will_v say_v o_o my_o lord_n if_o thou_o do_v noâ—_n grant_v i_o help_v and_o hart_n this_o body_n of_o mynâ—_n can_v endure_v all_o these_o passion_n she_o be_v also_o much_o trouble_v with_o a_o fear_n which_o she_o haâ—_n of_o offend_a god_n by_o the_o word_n oâ—_n lamentation_n which_o sometime_o she_o utter_v and_o therefore_o she_o will_v entreat_v the_o religious_a that_o they_o will_v pray_v god_n tâ—_n lend_v her_o force_n whereby_o she_o may_v stand_v under_o the_o burden_n of_o so_o great_a anguish_n without_o the_o least_o offence_n to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o so_o much_o be_v her_o thought_n hereupon_o that_o often_o she_o will_v say_v with_o profound_a humility_n to_o the_o governor_n of_o that_o monastery_n father_n do_v you_o think_v that_o i_o shall_v be_v save_v protestant_n this_o holy_a woman_n be_v no_o protestant_n &_o he_o answer_v like_o a_o man_n amaze_v why_o do_v you_o ask_v i_o such_o a_o question_n the_o good_a mother_n will_v reply_v let_v i_o tell_v you_o father_n it_o be_v a_o great_a matter_n for_o a_o creature_n who_o never_o do_v good_a in_o her_o life_n to_o appear_v before_o that_o high_a purity_n of_o god_n and_o yet_o again_o she_o will_v be_v ask_v father_n do_v you_o think_v that_o i_o shall_v be_v save_v in_o which_o speech_n do_v shine_v her_o great_a humility_n since_o she_o can_v be_v doubtful_a of_o her_o salvation_n
in_o the_o house_n and_o in_o many_o other_o holy_a action_n altogether_o repugnant_a to_o sense_n seek_v ever_o new_a mean_n whereby_o she_o may_v become_v more_o acceptable_a to_o our_o sovereign_a lord_n how_o she_o be_v leave_v in_o the_o monastery_n of_o s._n giovannino_n and_o of_o the_o inspiration_n which_o she_o have_v to_o become_v religious_a in_o the_o monastery_n of_o s._n maria_n de_fw-fr li_n angeli_fw-la chap._n 4._o be_v age_v now_o of_o fourten_n year_n and_o her_o father_n be_v to_o go_v in_o public_a employment_n to_o cortona_n her_o parent_n determine_v by_o the_o advice_n of_o the_o reverend_a father_n pietro_n blanca_n rector_n of_o the_o college_n of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n to_o leave_v she_o place_v for_o a_o year_n in_o the_o monastery_n of_o s._n giovannino_n of_o florence_n which_o father_n because_o he_o well_o know_v the_o perfection_n &_o singular_a spirit_n of_o this_o child_n as_o also_o the_o ardent_a desire_n she_o have_v to_o frequent_v the_o bless_a sacrament_n resolve_v to_o place_v she_o there_o under_o condition_n that_o upon_o every_o sunday_n and_o holiday_n she_o may_v communicate_v at_o she_o own_o devotion_n this_o be_v then_o promise_v very_o willing_o by_o those_o reverend_a mother_n she_o enter_v into_o the_o say_a monastery_n and_o pass_v the_o year_n with_o great_a increase_n of_o virtue_n and_o no_o less_o satisfaction_n of_o the_o say_v religious_a for_o the_o lively_a example_n which_o every_o one_o of_o they_o take_v from_o her_o true_a devotion_n nevertheless_o there_o want_v not_o in_o that_o time_n some_o occasion_n to_o disturb_v so_o great_a a_o frequency_n of_o the_o sacrament_n but_o she_o kindle_v herself_o more_o and_o more_o in_o so_o holy_a a_o desire_n do_v not_o at_o all_o release_n the_o ardent_a purpose_n she_o have_v to_o get_v ground_n in_o the_o service_n of_o god_n with_o excessive_a fervour_n she_o follow_v the_o exercise_n of_o mental_a prayer_n note_n note_n and_o do_v very_o often_o for_o the_o space_n of_o four_o continue_a hour_n enjoy_v celestial_a thought_n and_o on_o the_o day_n of_o the_o most_o holy_a ascension_n of_o jesus_n into_o heaven_n while_o in_o a_o most_o retire_v part_n of_o the_o monastery_n she_o be_v devout_o pray_v the_o giver_n of_o all_o good_a thing_n impart_v to_o she_o so_o lively_a a_o knowledge_n of_o his_o divine_a bounty_n that_o with_o much_o difficulty_n she_o be_v able_a to_o contain_v the_o joy_n &_o triumph_n that_o in_o her_o soul_n she_o feel_v those_o reverend_a mother_n be_v move_v by_o her_o virtue_n to_o have_v extraordinary_a desire_n that_o she_o will_v take_v their_o habit_n and_o with_o particular_a instance_n advise_v she_o to_o it_o let_v she_o see_v the_o good_a which_o thereby_o will_v redound_v to_o the_o monastery_n whereupon_o she_o earnest_o pray_v the_o illuminatour_n of_o all_o heart_n to_o make_v she_o choose_v that_o place_n which_o shall_v be_v most_o for_o the_o service_n &_o honour_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n in_o the_o mean_a time_n her_o father_n &_o mother_n be_v return_v from_o cortona_n take_v she_o home_o into_o the_o house_n and_o forbear_v not_o by_o many_o way_n to_o disturb_v her_o holy_a purpose_n be_v urge_v by_o the_o affection_n of_o flesh_n and_o blood_n which_o be_v the_o usual_a author_n of_o such_o inconueniency_n and_o they_o do_v so_o the_o rather_o because_o she_o be_v their_o only_a daughter_n but_o she_o have_v by_o help_n from_o heaven_n overcome_v all_o difficultye_n and_o be_v more_o desirous_a than_o ever_o to_o imitate_v the_o incarnate_a word_n in_o the_o state_n of_o holy_a religion_n say_v resolut_o unto_o they_o that_o she_o will_v rather_o suffer_v her_o head_n to_o be_v strike_v from_o her_o shoulder_n note_n note_n then_o consent_v not_o to_o be_v religious_a her_o parent_n hear_v this_o remit_v all_o to_o her_o ghostly_a father_n who_o wise_o counsayl_v she_o to_o choose_v some_o monastery_n where_o both_o devotion_n and_o a_o perfect_a observant_a life_n do_v flourish_v in_o the_o religious_a to_o which_o herself_o be_v much_o incline_v there_o be_v then_o propound_v to_o her_o the_o monastery_n of_o s._n maria_n de_fw-fr li_n angioli_fw-it near_o s._n friano_n of_o the_o order_n of_o the_o carmelites_n and_o that_o other_o venerable_a monastery_n of_o the_o crocetto_n of_o the_o order_n of_o s._n dominicke_n to_o which_o late_a she_o have_v some_o inclination_n because_o the_o religious_a of_o that_o place_n be_v never_o see_v yet_o at_o last_o hear_v the_o former_a so_o high_o paysed_z &_o especial_o for_o the_o frequent_a receive_n of_o the_o b._n sacrament_n which_o there_o be_v use_v every_o day_n she_o determine_v to_o go_v into_o the_o say_a monastery_n for_o fifteen_o day_n and_o have_v obtain_v licence_n on_o the_o vigil_n of_o the_o assumption_n of_o the_o b._n virgin_n she_o enter_v full_a of_o joy_n and_o in_o the_o time_n of_o her_o stay_n there_o give_v a_o excellent_a example_n of_o life_n have_v diligent_o then_o consider_v the_o several_a order_n of_o religion_n she_o be_v whole_o satisfy_v that_o this_o be_v the_o place_n to_o which_o our_o lord_n have_v call_v she_o therefore_o it_o grieve_v she_o to_o go_v thence_o at_o all_o but_o be_v force_v by_o her_o parent_n she_o must_v needs_o return_v home_o where_o with_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o grief_n for_o the_o space_n of_o three_o month_n she_o remain_v but_o final_o be_v more_o and_o more_o move_v by_o almighty_a god_n to_o take_v the_o habit_n of_o religion_n on_o the_o saturday_n precedent_n to_o the_o first_o sunday_n of_o advent_a in_o the_o year_n 1582._o she_o enter_v into_o the_o monastery_n to_o consecrate_v herself_o for_o ever_o to_o the_o service_n of_o god_n and_o have_v obtain_v their_o acceptation_n she_o be_v on_o the_o eight_o of_o december_n in_o the_o same_o year_n be_v the_o day_n of_o the_o conception_n of_o the_o b._n virgin_n receive_v with_o great_a joy_n and_o satisfaction_n by_o all_o the_o religious_a afterward_o upon_o the_o thirtith_n of_o january_n next_o follow_v with_o ardent_a desire_n of_o heavenly_a grace_n &_o extreme_a contempt_n of_o earthly_a care_n she_o take_v the_o habit_n of_o the_o carmelit_n order_n in_o the_o say_a monastery_n at_o the_o hand_n of_o the_o confessor_n thereof_o agostino_n campi_n of_o pontremoli_n a_o priest_n of_o great_a virtue_n and_o exemplar_n life_n and_o in_o the_o instant_n when_o he_o put_v the_o crucifix_n into_o her_o hand_n the_o religious_a sing_v those_o word_n of_o s._n paul_n mihi_fw-la absit_fw-la gloriari_fw-la nisi_fw-la in_o cruse_n domini_fw-la nostri_fw-la jesu_fw-la christi_fw-la etc._n etc._n note_n note_n it_o be_v a_o wonder_n to_o tell_v how_o she_o feel_v interior_o so_o great_a a_o union_n with_o our_o lord_n jesus_n and_o such_o a_o spiritual_a sweetness_n that_o in_o all_o her_o life_n as_o she_o say_v she_o remember_v not_o to_o have_v find_v the_o like_a whereupon_o have_v place_v in_o eternal_a oblivion_n all_o the_o commodity_n of_o this_o life_n and_o have_v confirm_v herself_o more_o resolute_o in_o her_o holy_a purpose_n she_o protest_v at_o that_o time_n to_o her_o heavenly_a spouse_n that_o she_o will_v never_o thirst_v after_o any_o thing_n but_o he_o crucify_v nor_o aspire_v to_o any_o thing_n but_o that_o her_o soul_n may_v to_o the_o uttermost_a of_o her_o possibility_n be_v instruct_v and_o devote_a to_o do_v he_o service_n after_o she_o be_v clad_v with_o the_o sacred_a habit_n she_o do_v with_o profound_a humility_n give_v herself_o for_o dead_a to_o the_o mother_n who_o be_v mistress_n of_o the_o novice_n note_n note_n and_o do_v ardent_o beg_v that_o she_o will_v ever_o humble_v she_o and_o mortify_v she_o and_o at_o all_o time_n contradict_v her_o will_n and_o direct_v she_o in_o all_o her_o action_n a_o lively_a and_o fit_a example_n for_o all_o such_o as_o thirst_v after_o a_o increase_n of_o religious_a virtue_n for_o without_o this_o resignation_n there_o 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alone_o or_o else_o i_o will_v remain_v still_o in_o the_o place_n where_o i_o be_o a_o evident_a sign_n that_o as_o she_o have_v relate_v to_o she_o confessarius_fw-la she_o have_v never_o conceive_v or_o know_v any_o thing_n in_o herself_o which_o may_v be_v contrary_a to_o chastity_n in_o the_o least_o degree_n the_o physician_n can_v never_o find_v a_o reason_n how_o that_o body_n may_v be_v able_a to_o keep_v itself_o in_o life_n so_o long_o under_o the_o burden_n of_o so_o many_o &_o so_o cruel_a torment_n nay_o and_o the_o religious_a themselves_o be_v all_o astonish_v will_v say_v sometime_o that_o it_o be_v impossible_a for_o she_o to_o live_v 8._o day_n and_o yet_o those_o day_n do_v pass_v &_o week_n and_o month_n so_o that_o all_o human_a discourse_n be_v put_v to_o silence_n and_o it_o grow_v to_o be_v account_v miraculous_a that_o body_n of_o she_o be_v then_o reduce_v to_o such_o state_n that_o hardly_o the_o religious_a have_v the_o hart_n to_o visit_v she_o as_o not_o 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be_v recite_v it_o near_o her_o bed_n and_o sometime_o she_o will_v also_o herself_o pronounce_v some_o verse_n final_o after_o five_o month_n of_o so_o great_a infirmity_n she_o be_v exhort_v by_o the_o physician_n to_o take_v the_o extreme_a unction_n esteem_v that_o at_o the_o most_o she_o can_v not_o pass_v two_o or_o three_o day_n of_o life_n she_o as_o foreknow_v her_o approach_a death_n do_v instant_o resign_v and_o prepare_v herself_o with_o great_a humility_n for_o the_o take_n of_o that_o holy_a sacrament_n but_o first_o she_o do_v with_o ardent_a word_n recommend_v the_o monastery_n to_o the_o father_n who_o be_v the_o governor_n thereof_o and_o make_v he_o a_o promise_n that_o if_o she_o go_v to_o heaven_n she_o will_v pray_v earnest_o to_o god_n both_o for_o he_o and_o all_o the_o religious_a that_o after_o this_o short_a life_n they_o may_v meet_v in_o that_o celestial_a kingdom_n note_n note_n she_o than_o desire_v the_o prioress_n to_o draw_v all_o the_o religious_a 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in_o a_o manner_n as_o if_o all_o her_o pain_n have_v leave_v she_o and_o turn_v towards_o the_o confessarius_fw-la she_o say_v father_n i_o understand_v that_o to_o morrow_n morning_n you_o will_v go_v to_o visit_v those_o father_n the_o eremite_n of_o monte_fw-la senario_fw-la florence_n a_o most_o holy_a ermitage_n within_o 8._o mile_n of_o florence_n and_o now_o i_o tell_v you_o that_o you_o may_v go_v secure_o concern_v i_o have_v no_o doubt_n at_o all_o for_o you_o shall_v find_v i_o alive_a at_o your_o return_n and_o i_o beseech_v you_o recommend_v i_o to_o their_o prayer_n whereby_o i_o much_o confide_v that_o our_o lord_n may_v grant_v i_o grace_v that_o i_o may_v be_v save_v the_o confessarius_fw-la then_o answer_v that_o he_o have_v no_o mind_n to_o go_v consider_v the_o state_n wherein_o she_o be_v she_o reply_v yet_o again_o go_v secure_o for_o you_o shall_v finâ—â—me_v alive_a and_o so_o he_o have_v a_o firm_a hope_n thereof_o go_v thither_o where_o he_o have_v design_v &_o return_v after_o three_o day_n do_v find_v she_o in_o the_o self_n same_o term_n have_v prepare_v herself_o to_o death_n she_o pious_o render_v her_o soul_n into_o the_o hand_n of_o her_o belove_a jesus_n chap._n 75._o after_o she_o have_v receive_v the_o sacrament_n of_o holy_a oil_n in_o those_o 13._o day_n of_o her_o suruive_a she_o be_v much_o more_o afflict_a with_o several_a pain_n &_o it_o seem_v as_o if_o they_o have_v all_o unite_v themselves_o to_o pull_v she_o down_o and_o that_o little_a flesh_n which_o have_v be_v rest_v upon_o her_o afflict_a bons_fw-fr through_o the_o excess_n of_o anguish_n be_v distil_v into_o so_o great_a abundance_n of_o sweat_n as_o not_o only_o the_o sheet_n but_o even_o the_o bed_n be_v bathe_v therewith_o so_o as_o it_o be_v necessary_a