that_o distemper_n of_o rheum_n which_o fall_v from_o her_o head_n into_o her_o face_n of_o which_o she_o die_v and_o he_o have_v be_v worse_o and_o worse_a ever_o since_o she_o die_v and_o i_o have_v have_v great_a expense_n and_o a_o great_a charge_n of_o dear_a relation_n and_o owe_v some_o considerable_a debt_n i_o be_v necessitate_v to_o teach_v school_n again_o in_o my_o old_a age_n that_o i_o may_v pay_v my_o debt_n succour_v my_o dear_a relation_n and_o not_o be_v too_o great_a a_o burden_n to_o the_o church_n of_o god_n and_o this_o i_o have_v willing_o and_o cheerful_o undertake_v that_o if_o persecution_n do_v come_v upon_o i_o again_o which_o i_o expect_v and_o prepare_v for_o and_o i_o shall_v be_v hale_v to_o prison_n or_o force_v to_o fly_v it_o may_v be_v my_o mercy_n and_o comfort_n as_o at_o all_o other_o time_n of_o my_o many_o removal_n in_o the_o day_n of_o my_o pilgrlmage_n and_o persecution_n that_o no_o person_n shall_v have_v any_o occasion_n to_o come_v to_o i_o and_o say_v pay_v i_o what_o you_o owe_v i_o before_o you_o go_v for_o i_o desire_v to_o owe_v no_o man_n any_o thing_n but_o love_n and_o honest_o to_o pay_v every_o man_n his_o own_o and_o if_o death_n seize_v on_o my_o body_n that_o i_o may_v leave_v enough_o of_o my_o own_o behind_o i_o to_o pay_v all_o my_o debt_n and_o a_o little_a for_o the_o relief_n of_o god_n poor_a and_o some_o of_o my_o poor_a natural_a relation_n i_o have_v a_o summon_v in_o june_n last_o to_o prepare_v myself_o for_o the_o grave_a by_o a_o sudden_a and_o sore_o fit_a of_o the_o wind-colic_n and_o vomit_v and_o on_o the_o 3d_o of_o october_n last_o 1671._o i_o have_v another_o summons_n to_o be_v ready_a to_o depart_v this_o life_n by_o another_o sudden_a more_o violent_a torment_a fit_a of_o the_o wind-colic_n and_o vomit_v and_o i_o be_o alarm_v by_o these_o awaken_n visitation_n of_o the_o lord_n to_o prepare_v and_o be_v ready_a that_o when_o my_o lord_n and_o master_n come_v or_o call_v for_o i_o to_o come_v to_o he_o i_o may_v be_v find_v so_o do_v that_o he_o may_v say_v well_o do_v thou_o good_a and_o faithful_a servant_n enter_z thou_o also_o into_o the_o joy_n of_o thy_o master_n the_o next_o trial_n my_o heavenly_a father_n see_v needful_a for_o i_o to_o be_v exercise_v under_o be_v the_o sickness_n and_o death_n of_o my_o then_o only_a live_a son_n my_o isaac_n my_o most_o love_a and_o belove_a son_n who_o be_v translate_v the_o 15_o day_n of_o november_n 1671._o which_o great_a trial_n and_o loss_n god_n make_v gain_v to_o he_o and_o easy_a to_o i_o by_o a_o manifest_a and_o powerful_a work_n of_o conversion_n repentance_n and_o faith_n upon_o his_o soul_n in_o the_o time_n of_o his_o sickness_n which_o administer_v much_o comfort_n to_o i_o so_o that_o i_o sorrow_v not_o for_o he_o as_o one_o without_o hope_n who_o exercise_v very_o great_a patience_n under_o his_o very_a great_a pain_n soreness_n and_o burn_a fever_n whilst_o his_o flesh_n marrow_n and_o moisture_n 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the_o constant_a assemble_v of_o our_o brethren_n and_o sister_n all_o that_o time_n every_o lord_n day_n to_o worship_n god_n and_o may_v i_o not_o with_o great_a comfort_n commend_v the_o labour_n of_o love_n of_o our_o minister_a brethren_n in_o the_o work_n and_o doctrine_n of_o the_o gospel_n without_o cease_v as_o you_o well_o know_v and_o among_o who_o they_o still_o labour_v and_o faint_v not_o and_o now_o some_o of_o our_o young_a brethren_n begin_v to_o improve_v their_o gift_n and_o talent_n for_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n and_o the_o edification_n of_o the_o church_n who_o i_o desire_v may_v be_v encourage_v another_o thing_n very_o commendable_a in_o this_o church_n be_v the_o charity_n which_o they_o have_v add_v to_o their_o brotherly_a kindness_n 2_o pet._n 1.7_o it_o be_v great_a brotherly_a kindness_n which_o be_v manifest_v to_o the_o church_n by_o those_o brethren_n who_o look_v out_o our_o meetinghouse_n and_o prepare_v it_o for_o we_o as_o it_o now_o be_v and_o unto_o this_o many_o of_o our_o brethren_n and_o sister_n have_v add_v their_o charity_n in_o a_o free_a and_o very_o liberal_a collection_n and_o contribution_n give_v into_o the_o trustee_n of_o the_o fund_z and_o i_o hope_v they_o will_v be_v ready_a to_o do_v the_o like_a again_o when_o the_o like_a necessity_n call_v for_o it_o read_v i_o pray_v you_o the_o 8_o and_o 9th_o chapter_n of_o the_o second_o epistle_n unto_o the_o church_n of_o corinth_n all_o this_o and_o much_o more_o be_v the_o riches_n of_o grace_n which_o god_n have_v free_o give_v by_o our_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n unto_o this_o church_n for_o his_o own_o glory_n nevertheless_o i_o must_v in_o love_n and_o faithfulness_n to_o your_o precious_a and_o gracious_a soul_n holy_a and_o belove_a tell_v you_o of_o some_o thing_n not_o to_o shame_v you_o for_o i_o myself_o be_o find_v guilty_a as_o well_o as_o you_o and_o more_o than_o some_o of_o you_o but_o to_o warn_v you_o and_o to_o counsel_v you_o as_o a_o father_n do_v his_o child_n and_o they_o be_v these_o first_o that_o several_a of_o we_o be_v fall_v in_o some_o degree_n from_o our_o first_o love_n cool_v in_o our_o spiritual_a affection_n to_o jesus_n christ_n and_o to_o the_o saint_n must_v not_o you_o and_o i_o confess_v that_o it_o be_v not_o with_o we_o now_o as_o it_o be_v in_o the_o day_n of_o our_o first_o espousal_n god_n the_o father_n the_o word_n and_o the_o holy_a spirit_n remember_v it_o jer._n 2.1_o 2._o and_o we_o shall_v remember_v from_o whence_o we_o be_v fall_v and_o shall_v say_v i_o will_v go_v and_o return_v unto_o my_o first_o husband_n for_o than_o be_v it_o better_a with_o i_o than_o now_o hos_fw-la 2.7_o rev._n 2.4_o 5._o now_o the_o first_o part_n of_o my_o counsel_n which_o i_o desire_v to_o take_v and_o receive_v from_o christ_n and_o to_o give_v unto_o you_o my_o dear_o belove_a brethren_n and_o sister_n who_o be_v convince_v and_o have_v confess_v it_o before_o the_o lord_n on_o several_a day_n of_o fast_v and_o prayer_n first_o i_o do_v counsel_n you_o to_o repent_v rev._n 2.5_o and_o i_o must_v tell_v you_o beloved_n that_o our_o assemble_v once_o in_o four_o week_n and_o spend_v four_o hour_n from_o eleven_o to_o three_o in_o pray_v and_o preach_v as_o we_o have_v often_o do_v be_v not_o such_o a_o fast_a as_o will_v make_v our_o voice_n be_v hear_v on_o high_a isa_n 58.3_o 4._o several_a thing_n be_v essential_o necessary_a to_o evangelical_n repentance_n that_o it_o may_v be_v acceptable_a unto_o god_n by_o jesus_n christ_n namely_o godly_a sorrow_n which_o work_v repentance_n never_o to_o be_v repent_v of_o 2_o cor._n 7.9_o 10._o a_o break_a contrite_a spirit_n psal_n 51.17_o james_n 4.9_o 10._o isa_n 66.2_o 3._o isa_n 57.15_o read_v these_o scripture_n zech._n 12.10_o 11._o alas_o where_o be_v our_o tear_n of_o godly_a sorrow_n our_o break_a heart_n and_o our_o afflict_a soul_n reformation_n after_o humiliation_n repent_v and_o do_v thy_o first_o work_n rev._n 2.5_o o_o holy_a brethren_n let_v we_o do_v so_o let_v you_o and_o i_o beg_v grace_n that_o we_o may_v both_o mourn_v and_o turn_v from_o all_o our_o sin_n to_o the_o lord_n with_o all_o our_o heart_n we_o have_v cause_n to_o repent_v of_o our_o formality_n and_o laodicean_n lukewarmness_n especial_o for_o want_v of_o zeal_n for_o the_o house_n of_o god_n psal_n 69.9_o rev._n 3.19_o col._n 4.12_o 13._o joh._n 2.17_o second_o i_o counsel_v you_o to_o be_v zealous_a zeal_n be_v a_o fervent_a and_o constant_a affection_n of_o a_o gracious_a soul_n in_o a_o good_a thing_n manage_v with_o discretion_n gal._n 4.18_o if_o our_o zeal_n be_v not_o fix_v upon_o a_o right_a object_n and_o good_a matter_n it_o may_v be_v hot_a and_o great_a but_o it_o can_v be_v good_a compare_v the_o zeal_n of_o paul_n phil._n 3.6_o with_o the_o zeal_n of_o epaphras_n col._n 4.12_o 13._o to_o guide_v our_o zeal_n aright_o two_o thing_n especial_o aught_o to_o accompany_v it_o first_o the_o light_n of_o knowledge_n rom._n 10.1_o 2_o 3._o read_v the_o word_n again_o and_o again_o and_o as_o often_o as_o you_o read_v this_o paper_n many_o professor_n of_o the_o law_n then_o be_v very_o zealous_a of_o establish_v their_o own_o legal_a righteousness_n and_o many_o professor_n of_o the_o gospel_n now_o be_v as_o zealous_a to_o establish_v their_o own_o legal_a righteousness_n and_o not_o christ_n o_o say_v some_o if_o i_o can_v pray_v so_o mourn_v so_o as_o other_o do_v if_o i_o be_v so_o holy_a and_o so_o humble_a etc._n etc._n then_o i_o will_v believe_v o_o say_v other_o if_o i_o can_v get_v power_n over_o my_o corruption_n and_o strength_n against_o satan_n temptation_n and_o victory_n over_o the_o allurement_n of_o this_o present_a evil_a world_n than_o i_o
which_o i_o now_o see_v be_v but_o filthy_a rag_n etc._n etc._n then_o god_n give_v i_o those_o two_o promise_n isa_n 43.22_o 23_o 24_o 25._o and_o isa_n 54.9_o 10._o and_o fill_v my_o soul_n with_o joy_n and_o peace_n in_o believe_v so_o that_o i_o break_v forth_o into_o praise_n and_o thanksgiving_n the_o next_o day_n i_o go_v again_o to_o mr._n wheelwright_n and_o tell_v he_o what_o god_n have_v do_v for_o my_o poor_a soul_n who_o say_v unto_o i_o now_o i_o be_v somewhat_o prepare_v to_o preach_v jesus_n christ_n and_o the_o gospel_n of_o free_a grace_n to_o other_o have_v be_v teach_v it_o of_o god_n and_o have_v hear_v and_o learned_a jesus_n christ_n myself_o and_o he_o advise_v i_o to_o wait_v still_o upon_o god_n in_o prayer_n and_o christ_n will_v appear_v again_o to_o i_o by_o his_o holy_a spirit_n in_o his_o word_n and_o show_v i_o and_o teach_v i_o how_o to_o preach_v then_o i_o go_v home_o again_o and_o continue_v in_o prayer_n and_o one_o day_n beg_v earnest_o of_o god_n in_o prayer_n that_o if_o he_o have_v design_v i_o to_o that_o great_a work_n of_o preach_v the_o gospel_n that_o then_o he_o will_v give_v i_o some_o testimony_n out_o of_o his_o holy_a word_n of_o his_o call_v i_o thereunto_o whereupon_o those_o word_n be_v speak_v by_o his_o spirit_n to_o my_o heart_n act._n 26.16_o i_o have_v appear_v unto_o thou_o for_o this_o purpose_n to_o make_v thou_o a_o minister_n and_o a_o witness_n both_o of_o those_o thing_n which_o thou_o have_v see_v and_o of_o those_o thing_n in_o which_o i_o will_v appear_v unto_o thou_o whence_o i_o believe_v that_o now_o i_o have_v receive_v a_o call_n and_o commission_n from_o my_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n to_o preach_v the_o gospel_n of_o his_o free_a grace_n and_o i_o bless_a god_n and_o expect_v a_o further_a appearance_n of_o jesus_n christ_n unto_o i_o that_o night_n in_o my_o sleep_n christ_n put_v into_o my_o mind_n that_o the_o next_o lord_n day_n i_o shall_v preach_v on_o that_o text_n rom._n 8.1_o and_o he_o dictate_v to_o i_o in_o my_o sleep_n what_o doctrine_n i_o shall_v preach_v from_o that_o text._n the_o next_o day_n i_o go_v and_o tell_v all_o this_o to_o mr._n wheelwright_n who_o say_v now_o my_o belove_a brother_n and_z fellow_z labourer_n in_o the_o gospel_n of_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n christ_n have_v give_v you_o authority_n a_o call_v and_o a_o commission_n to_o preach_v i_o pray_v you_o be_v humble_a and_o holy_a and_o delay_v not_o to_o do_v your_o master_n work_n or_o word_n to_o that_o effect_n that_o night_n in_o my_o sleep_n the_o lord_n teach_v i_o more_o and_o the_o three_o night_n also_o and_o i_o retain_v it_o all_o in_o my_o memory_n and_o write_v it_o down_o and_o search_v the_o scripture_n which_o i_o receive_v in_o my_o sleep_n for_o the_o confirmation_n of_o my_o doctrine_n and_o the_o next_o day_n be_v the_o lord_n day_n i_o preach_v that_o which_o i_o have_v receive_v from_o the_o lord_n and_o god_n make_v it_o useful_a and_o powerful_a to_o conversion_n as_o appear_v to_o i_o afterward_o thus_o i_o be_v night_n by_o night_n teach_v of_o god_n to_o preach_v the_o doctrine_n of_o free_a grace_n according_a to_o the_o tenor_n of_o the_o new_a and_o everlasting_a covenant_n for_o three_o or_o four_o year_n together_o whereby_o very_a many_o sinner_n be_v convert_v and_o many_o believer_n be_v establish_v in_o the_o faith_n in_o which_o three_o or_o four_o year_n space_n i_o preach_v in_o three_o several_a place_n at_o woodenderby_a at_o fulleby_n on_o the_o hill_n and_o at_o wainfleel_n where_o i_o be_v silence_v and_o from_o thence_o remove_v to_o london_n and_o thence_o to_o new-england_n with_o my_o wife_n and_o one_o child_n about_o the_o year_n 1636._o i_o be_v persecute_v and_o prosecute_v in_o the_o high_a commission_n court_n by_o virtue_n of_o a_o warrant_n wherewith_o i_o be_v apprehend_v in_o boston_n and_o keep_v a_o prisoner_n in_o the_o man_n house_n who_o serve_v the_o warrant_n upon_o i_o but_o god_n help_v i_o to_o convince_v he_o and_o he_o be_v so_o great_o terrify_v in_o his_o conscience_n that_o he_o set_v open_a his_o door_n and_o let_v i_o go_v away_o but_o before_o i_o go_v i_o tarry_v so_o long_o in_o london_n wait_v for_o a_o passage_n that_o when_o i_o go_v aboard_o i_o have_v but_o 6_o brass_n farthing_n leave_v and_o no_o silver_n nor_o gold_n only_o my_o wife_n have_v 5_o l._n that_o i_o know_v not_o of_o which_o she_o give_v i_o when_o we_o come_v there_o by_o the_o way_n my_o little_a child_n die_v with_o convulsion_n fit_v our_o beer_n and_o water_n stanke_z our_o biscuit_n be_v green_a yellow_a and_o blue_a mould_v and_o rot_a and_o our_o cheese_n also_o so_o that_o we_o suffer_v much_o hardship_n be_v 12_o week_n in_o our_o passage_n but_o god_n be_v gracious_a to_o we_o and_o lead_v we_o safe_a through_o those_o great_a deep_n and_o ever_o we_o go_v ashore_o come_v one_o and_o inquire_v for_o i_o and_o tell_v i_o a_o friend_n that_o be_v go_v from_o boston_n to_o rode_n island_n have_v leave_v i_o his_o house_n to_o sojourn_v in_o to_o which_o we_o go_v and_o two_o family_n more_o with_o we_o who_o go_v sudden_o to_o their_o friend_n and_o other_o relation_n in_o the_o country_n and_o i_o be_v poor_a be_v necessitate_v to_o work_v daily_o with_o my_o howe_n for_o the_o space_n of_o almost_o three_o week_n the_o magistrate_n be_v tell_v by_o the_o minister_n that_o i_o be_v a_o antinomian_a and_o desire_v they_o will_v not_o suffer_v i_o to_o abide_v in_o their_o patent_n but_o within_o the_o time_n limit_v by_o their_o law_n in_o that_o case_n two_o stranger_n come_v to_o boston_n from_o piscattuah_n hear_v of_o i_o by_o a_o mere_a accident_n get_v i_o to_o go_v with_o they_o to_o that_o plantation_n and_o to_o preach_v there_o where_o i_o remain_v about_o four_o year_n and_o then_o be_v send_v for_o back_n to_o england_n by_o my_o age_a father_n i_o return_v with_o my_o wife_n and_o one_o child_n about_o three_o year_n old_a and_o she_o be_v great_a with_o another_o child_n and_o we_o come_v safe_a to_o london_n on_o the_o 24_o of_o december_n 1641._o in_o which_o year_n the_o massacre_n in_o ireland_n break_v forth_o and_o the_o next_o year_n war_n break_v forth_o in_o england_n between_o king_n and_o parliament_n i_o be_v still_o poor_a and_o sojourn_v in_o a_o lodging_n till_o i_o have_v but_o sixpence_n leave_v and_o know_v not_o how_o to_o provide_v for_o my_o wife_n and_o child_n but_o have_v pray_v to_o god_n and_o encourage_v my_o wife_n to_o trust_v in_o god_n and_o to_o remember_v former_a experience_n and_o especial_o that_o word_n of_o promise_n god_n have_v give_v we_o and_o will_v perform_v to_o we_o heb._n 13.5_o have_v pay_v for_o my_o lodging_n i_o go_v out_o not_o know_v whither_o god_n good_a hand_n of_o providence_n will_v lead_v i_o to_o receive_v something_o towards_o my_o present_a subsistence_n and_o about_o seven_o or_o eight_o door_n from_o my_o lodging_n a_o woman_n meet_v i_o in_o the_o street_n and_o tell_v i_o she_o come_v to_o seek_v i_o and_o her_o husband_n send_v she_o to_o tell_v i_o that_o there_o be_v a_o lodging_n provide_v and_o prepare_v in_o his_o house_n by_o some_o christian_a friend_n for_o i_o and_o my_o wife_n i_o tell_v she_o my_o present_a condition_n and_o go_v along_o with_o she_o to_o her_o house_n and_o there_o she_o give_v i_o 20_o s._n which_o dr._n bastwick_n a_o late_a sufferer_n have_v give_v she_o for_o i_o and_o some_o linen_n for_o my_o wife_n which_o i_o receive_v and_o tell_v she_o and_o her_o husband_n i_o will_v fetch_v my_o wife_n and_o child_n and_o lodge_v there_o and_o so_o i_o return_v with_o great_a joy_n and_o my_o wife_n be_v very_o much_o affect_v with_o this_o mercy_n and_o divine_a providence_n be_v so_o suitable_a and_o seasonable_a a_o supply_n unto_o we_o and_o she_o say_v oh_o dear_a husband_n how_o sweet_a be_v it_o to_o live_v by_o faith_n and_o trust_v god_n upon_o his_o bare_a word_n let_v we_o rely_v upon_o he_o whilst_o we_o live_v and_o trust_v he_o in_o all_o strait_n with_o many_o such_o like_a expression_n and_o after_o we_o have_v return_v praise_n to_o god_n we_o go_v to_o our_o new_a lodging_n where_o we_o find_v all_o thing_n necessary_a provide_v for_o we_o and_o all_o charge_n pay_v for_o 15_o week_n and_o my_o wife_n be_v bruise_v much_o on_o shipboard_n have_v sore_o labour_n and_o lay_v under_o great_a weakness_n above_o ten_o week_n all_o which_o time_n two_o doctor_n a_o apothecary_n and_o a_o chirurgeon_n do_v daily_o attend_v she_o and_o administer_v unto_o she_o free_o without_o any_o money_n and_o at_o the_o end_n of_o 16_o week_n we_o