and distressed in conscience neuer had true peace 2 My peace of conscience 3 Notes of true peace of conscience makes mee carefull to keepe a good conscience as it made the Apostle t Hebr. 13.18 desiring to liue honestly and to haue u 2 Cor. 1.12 my conuersation in godly purenesse 3. This true peace makes my Conscience not afraid to view it self whereas the euill conscience is like the Elephant which being guilty of his deformity cannot abide to looke on his owne face in the water but seekes muddy chanells and fowle puddles Min. Let mee heare you name some other signe from whence you gather assurance of your saluation Con. Mine Adoption is a sign hereof for wheras I was by nature a base-born of Satan no child so like his father as I was like him the Lord of his free grace fauour hath adopted me his childe to traine mee vp vnto eternall life that I may inherit with his own Son Iesus by meanes whereof I haue right also * 1. Cor. 3.22.23 to the creatures heere in this world as being my fathers goods and the miseries of this life x Rom. 8.28 become mercies to me and the glorious y Heb. 1.14 Angells become attenders on mee O high fauours O rich mercy O instimable dignity to bee the childe of God! Thus I trust I am one of the number of Gods children The fourth signe of saluation taken out of Rom. 8.17 Now none of them can possibly be depriued of an euerlasting inheritance for if we be children then are wee also heyres of God ioyntheyrs with Christ Seeing then I am one of them I know I shall inherit together with them yea with Christ Min. It is a common thing with men yea with lewd and gracelesse persons to say they are the children of God as the wicked Iewes z Ioh. 8.41 44. said to our Sauiour but hee tels them they ar of their father the Deuill how know you then that you are a true childe of God Con. 1. Because I am regenerate that is borne againe a Ioh. 1.13 5 Notes of a true child of God not of bloud as by a second naturall generation nor of the will of the flesh as by any naturall strength or actioÌ„ nor of the will of man as by any mans endeuour or operation but of God born of the spirit b Ioh. 3.5 as water through spirituall c T it 3.5 washing and ablution being begotten by the incorruptible seed of his word they which are thus begotten and borne of God must needs be his children that I am thus borne of the spirit and so become a new creature I haue shewed before in that I am conuerted Secondly looke what naturall affections are in a childe toward his father such spirituall affections are in mee towards God if he frowne I mourne if he threaten I tremble if he smite I stoop if he smile I am right glad if hee speake comfortablie I reioyce hartily I delight in nothing so much as the fauour of God feare nothing so much as the losse of it hauing found it oh how faine would I keepe it hauing lost it I cannot be at quiet till I recouer it I can be content to want all things so I haue it and can finde contentment in nothing if I want it my heauenly fathers fauour is more to mee then all the world Thirdly I know my adoption by the spirit of adoption which is within mee and casts out of me daily more and more the d Rom. 8.15 spirit of bondage a terrifying tormenting conscience and it makes me with some comfortable confidence and a true heart vnfainedly to call vpon God and to cal him my Father without either flattery or dissembling Fourthly e Rom. 8.14 As many as are led by the spirit of God they are the sons of God by his holy spirit am I led and willinglie doe I submit my selfe and vnfainedly desire to bee wholly gouerned thereby I desire not to follow the blinde guide carnall reason nor the deceitfull guide my own corrupt heart but I set the Lord alwaies before mee as a guide to direct mee in all things by that rule whereby hee leades into al truth euen his holie word it is my delight to say with the Prophet Dauid f Ps 25.5 Leade mee in thy truth O Lord and teach mee for thou art the God of my saluation Fiftly whereas all the children of God do resemble him their father for howsoeuer a man may haue a childe nothing like him yet God hath neuer a childe but is in some measure like him hereby I also know that I am his childe because I doe in some sort resemble him my heauenly Father As hee is g 1 Pet. 1.15 holy h Luk. 6.36 mercifull good i Ma. 5.48 perfect so doe I endeuour to conforme vnto him hauing his blessed image imprinted in mee and being renewed vnto that k Ge. 1.26 likenesse wherein the Lord created man in the beginning abhorring to bee of the number of them who though they professe themselues to bee Gods children yet are as Nabal so prophane and wicked that a man cannot speake vnto them and surely blasphemie it were to thinke that there is any likenesse betweene God and them he such a pure spirit and they such impure swine Min. Proceed vnto some other signe of your saluation Con. The Lord will bestow an euerlasting inheritance vpon all them that are sanctified The fift signe of saluation taken out of Act. 20.32 such a one am I the Lord hath sanctified mee by his holy spirit that is hath made mee holy whereas I was before most vile filthy vnclean wholly sinfull Neither yet am I now quite and cleane freed from all sinne or perfectly holy for alas l Ro. 7.23 I see another law in my members rebelling against the law of my minde and bringing me into captiuity of the law of sinne but I am freed from the bondage and dominion of sinne And looke as in the twi-light or day-breake some little glimmering light there is ouer-spreaâ—ing the skie yet mixed with much darknesse euen so there is in mee the admixture of sinne and much corruption accompanying the light of sanctifying grace in euery part of me yet this is my comfort That the day-starre is risen and the morning-light now shineth in mee and as for high-noone perfection of holinesse I wait for it and looke to enioy it in the highest heauen for the m Pr. 4.18 path of the iust is as the shining light that shineth more more vnto the perfect day Min. There are not a few who though they can talke of sanctification aâ—â— notwithstanding very prophane yea leaprous persons hauing the vncleane issues of sin like plague-sores running on them going vp and downe with the leapers crie in their mouth n Leui. 13.45 vncleane vncleane therefore how know you that you are
carnall ioy is which causeth men to reioyce onely or chiefly in their corne and their wine their wealth and their honours their pleasures and their profits this nature affords vnto them But I finde in me a supernaturall ioy in things diuine and spirituall which corrupt nature can take no liking of much lesse delight therein therefore it hath been wrought in me by a power diuine that is the fruit of Gods holy spirit 5. Whereas the ioy of the wicked is slight and short a flash and away no better then the chirping of birds in a sunne-shine day mine is firme and durable not like summer-fruit which holds good but for a time for the summer-season of prosperity but my ioy is lasting fruit which still holds good yea euen in the hardest winter of greatest aduersity Ro. 5.3 I can ioy in tribulations 6. It is a victorious ioy for when as griefe like lead lies heauy on my heart pressing it downe then doth this ioy lift vp my heart in faith together with my hands eyes and voyce vpward to the heauens aboue the mountaines from whence my helpe commeth wherby appeares it ouercommeth griefe and getteth victorie ouer tentation thus I haue that which is the very life of life true ioy for life without this is hardly worthy the name of life Min. This pawne of heauen which the Lord hath put into your heart I may not nor cannot except against therefore proceed vnto another signe of your salution Con. Patience vnder the crosse may not bee left out nor forgotten no more then it may bee cast off or forgone well it deserues a roome among this good company of witnesses all which giue in euidence that heauen is mine The thirteenth sine of saluation taken out of Iam. 1.12 That this is a sure signe of saluation S. Iames proues it when he saith Blessed is the man that endureth temptation for when he is tryed hee shall receiue the crowne of life and that it is in me my conscience proues it therefore I am blessed but more blessed shall I bee when I receiue the crowne Minist Well may the crowne indeed be set vpon the head of patience so noble and so conquering a grace for christian * Nobile vinceÌ„di genus est patientia vincit qui patitur suffring is a noble kinde of conquering and hee that so suffereth no lesse than conquereth And if you haue also found this gemme in you happy are you prouided alwaies that it be true patience how prooue you that Con. 1. 5. Notes of true patience Because I doe not onely finde out but also finde fault with any inclination or disposition toward impatiency I check and controul my selfe for it when it begins to stirre I begin to stifle it before it gather strength or get to head 2. I doe not goe about to prescribe to GOD the measure of afflicting me nor yet the manner meanes or time of helping easing and deliuering mee I can bee content with the grace of God in the forgiuenesse of my sinne and sanctification of his Spirit tho I want other things and can receiue the loue of God with good contentment though it come alone or attended with the crosse 3. I more feare to doe the euill of sinne than to suffer the euill of punishment for sinne * Malum parti maluÌ„ non est maluÌ„ facere malum est for to suffer affliction is not euill but to commit sinne is euill and I can be content still to beare the punishment so that the sinne may bee taken away oh I would not for any thing that the rod of God should be remoued before the Cure bee throughly wrought 4. My patience goes accompanied with a profiting vnder the correcting hand of God for first it brings forth e Rom. 5.4 experience both of the care and loue and gracious dealing of God towards me as also of my owne estate and cariage toward him and thus I come to haue better acquaintance with God with my selfe it also increaseth my loue toward him makes me cleaue and cling faster to him as a childe doth to his parent when hee turneth away from it and maketh as though he would goe away and leaue it to the wolfe it strengtheneth my faith and causeth me to relie more stedfastly on God in distresses for time to come and a dram of tried faith is better then a pound of vntried Lastly it worketh in me reformation I am not like wicked AhaZ f 2 Chr. 28 22. who in the time of his distresse did yet trespasse more and more against the Lord. For I can truely say with the holy Prophet g Ps 119.67 Before I was afflicted I went astray but now haue I kept thy word ô God Thus by patience I reforme my self and thus in patience I possesse my soule therefore it is true patience Min. By what other certain signe are you perswaded of your euerlasting saluation Con. They which haue receiued the Earnest of the Spirit in their hearts The fourth signe of saluation taken out of 2. Cor. 1.22 Eph. 4.30 Ro. 8.16.17 are thereby sealed vnto the day of redemption this haue I receiued to wit the infallible testimony of GOD's holy spirit which beareth witnesse with my spirit that I am the child of God and so an heyre of glory seeing God who cannot lye tels me by his spirit I shall be saued I hold it as I am bound for a necessary and a most vndoubted truth Min. Thousands of vngodly ones haue a perswasion that they shall be saued and none seeme more confident than they and yet it is but presumption and the illusion of the deuill in them for they haue no more true right to saluation than dogges to the childrens bread yea and though they sweare to it too as that they are ready enough to doe yet you neede not credit them vnlesse you will and if you doe it is but a lye as if a woman that had a child should swear she were a maid or one that had a plague-sore on him should sweare that hee were cleere would you beleeue either of them for all their facing of the matter sure you would not how know you then that yours is the testimony of Gods Spirit and not presumption which is nothing else but the lying spirit of Sathan in the mouthâ—s and hearts of all his children Conuer 5. Notes of the true testimony Gods of spirit First I proue it by the birth of it for it hath been wrought and planted in me contrary to nature by the word of God heard read meditated vpon and the like good meanes whereas presumption like a stinking weed growes of it owne accord out of the ranke soyle of Nature 2. As Iacob may bee knowne by Iacobs voyce from Esau so may this be knowne by its voice for it doth not barely tell mee I shall be saued but proues it to me and perswades mee by all these former signes which
promised I know thou wilt performe it that thou wilt cure mee that thou wilt saue me being thus perplexed in my soule for my sinnes Min. How else can you proue your selfe to bee such a one as God hath promised to saue Con. Hee hath promised to t Re. 21.6 giue to him that is athirst of the fountaine of the water of life freely that is hee which earnestly desires the fauour of God through Christs righteousnesse to the inheriting of eternall life shall bee assured thereof to the allaying of the scalding heat of his boyling conscience and to the endlesse comfort and saluation of his soule thus I doe thirst I doe no lesse truely then earnestly desire saluation 3 Notes of the true desire of saluation First in the right place preferring it before all things in the world Secondly to the right end that I might bee wholly freed from sinne and perfectly glorifie God in Heauen And thirdly in the right manner as well desiring the meanes that leade therto as the end whereto they leade Heerevpon it is that the more grace I receiue the more I hunger after and that I haue alwayes such a spirituall drought and vnsatiable thirst after Christs most precious bloud and perfect righteousnesse that my sinfull soule may bee clothed with this fine white garment and gorgeous attire and oh how I long after the fauour of God and like as the Disciples said vnto our Sauiour when hee told them of the bread of Heauen u Ioh. 6.34 Lord euermore giue vs this bread so I hauing tasted the sweetnesse of Gods fauour cannot choose but pray Lord giue me euermore to enioy this thy fauour yea Euen as the Hart panteth after the water brookes so panteth my soule after thee O God my soule thirsteth for God for the liuing God like to the thirsty Land Well yet his word is good u Ps 107. hee satisfieth the longing soule and filleth the hungry soule with goodnesse and this is my comfort Min. Whom else hath God promised to saue Con. x Mat. 5.3 1. Blessed saith our Sauiour are the poore in spirit for theirs is the Kingdome of heauen and Blessed are they that mourne for they shall be comforted These poore ones and these mourners are they which are humble lowly in spirit seeing feeling their spirituall wants and pouerty their sinnes and misery being heartily sorry for and bewailing the same and so despairing as touching any goodnesse of their owne betake themselues wholly to the mercy of God in Christ which mercy of God is like the y Act. 3.2 beautifull gate of the temple whereat poore creeples lye yea lazers a multitude of impotent folke blinde halt withered spirituall beggers wofull creatures poore sinners humble crauing an almes at the hand of so pitifull a God And well doth Gods mercy deserue to bee called the beautifull gate of heauen for heereby onely doe penitent sinners enter into the presence of God to behold the beauty of the Lord and to enioy his blessed vision for euer in heauen Thus doe a poore creature lye dayly at Gods beautifull gate knocking crauing crying z Ps 57. 51. 86. Haue mercy vpon me O God haue mercy vpon mee according to the multitude of thy compassions put away my iniquities incline thine eare O Lord heare me for I am poore and needy O bow downe thine eare and heare open thine eyes and see for my heart is smitten and withered like grasse and I am in great misery a Psa 25.16 18. O turne thy face vnto mee and haue mercy vpon mee for I am desolate and afflicted looke vpon my affliction and my paine and forgiue all my sinnes O turne vnto mee and haue mercy vpon mee heale my soule for I haue sinned against thee b Dan. 9.19 O Lord heare O Lord forgiue O Lord hearken and doe deferre not for thine owne sake O my God Thus am I poore in spirit and thus doe I mourne and therefore the promise of blessednesse belongs to mee and I haue as good right vnto it as any poore sinner whatsoeuer for the poorer the sinner is in spirit and the greater begger hee is the better right he hath heereunto so then I am blessed according to Christs owne words because I shall be blessed Min. Whom else hath God said he will saue Con. c Ro. 10.13 Whosoeuer shall call vpon the name of the Lord shall bee saued as witnesseth the Apostle that is whosoeuer not onely in outward miseries but also and that especially in spirituall distresses shall pray vnto the Lord in faith both as concerning his power and will to helpe and and yet more whosoeuer fearing that hee hath not faith nor any sauing grace that he is not in the fauour of God nor his sinnes pardoned and that his soule shall not bee saued if hee can but finde a heart to pray vnto the Lord for these things with an honest vpright minde as sure as the Lord is true he shall bee saued and that by vertue of this promise of God Whosoeuer shall call vpon his name shall be saued for thus he flyeth vnto this strong Tower where hee shall be preserued serued safe a while and after shall be remooued by the guard of good Angels to the Palace of None-such in the Kingdome of Heauen which is a priueleged place where sinne Sathan the flesh and the world haue nothing to doe and therfore he shall not bee there molested by any of them in the least measure Now I am one of them that doe thus call vpon the name of the Lord and that dayly when I feele my selfe oppressed by sinne and Sathan and can finde very small or to my thinking sometimes no grace at all in mee yet then can I heartily pray vnto the Lord for his helpe and sauing grace that I may be saued therefore I shall bee saued Min. To whom else hath God promised saluation in his word Con. Christ hath promised that e Reu. 3.21 hee which ouer commeth shall sit with him in his Throne that is hee that holds out to the end continually resisting and fighting against his spirituall enemies the world the flesh and the Diuel shall haue though not equall glory yet fellowship with Christ in glory euerlasting thus do I daily fight that I may ouercome First I account my selfe a spirituall soldier bound sworn to my Captaine the Lord Iesus of whom I haue also taken presse-mony the Sacrament of Baptisme and weare his colours the profession of Christianity and know there is martiall Law eternall death for mee if I should flye from my Captaine Secondly I take notice of the manifold traines and plots of my forreign enemies the world and the Diuell and the treasons and treacheries of my domesticke foes the flesh that Rebell my headstrong passions and vnruly lusts those traytors I see and obserue how they euery where lay snares for mee and spread nettes in my path-way and
of saluation are in me in truth as first hatred of sin for though there were no hell as I haue said before I would not commit those sinnes which some doe though nature corrupt doe relish them very well my soule goes against them Secondly I make conscience of lesser sinnes which the world count no sins as wel as of those great and grosse sinnes which stare vs in the face and though some would shrinke vp sinne into a narrow scantling and faine would bring it to this that none doe euill but they which are in gaoles yet I haue learned otherwise to iudge of sinne to e 1 Thes 5.22 abstaine from all appearance of euill holding it a point of wisedome to looke to sinne in time lest it fester and eat in infect more and at length breake forth into a running sore Thirdly I loue the godly in sincerity not for feare of hell that cannot make mee loue them nor for any sinister respects but because they are godly Fourthly when I go to the word preached sacraments prayers and all other holy exercises of religion I heartily desire to vse them not for forme or custome as the manner of most is but with profit and therfore lift vp my heart to the Lord crauing his blessing in the vse thereof for the edifying of me in grace and for the ripping vp of my corrupt heart an hypocrite doth nor thus Fiftly though the Lord should condemne mee which hee neuer will and throw mee into hell which in regard of his faithfull promise hee neither will nor can yet I finde my heart so affected that sure I should neuer blaspheme his holy name with the Diuels and damned spirits but euen out of the bottome of the lowest pit should I praise him yea out of the very f Iona. 2.2 bellie of hell as the Prophet Ionah speaketh should I pray vnto him so that I see I loue the honour of God neither for feare nor fauour but in sincerity whereby I also gather and conclude that I am sincere and not an hypocrite Min. Be there yet any more euill spirits of Sathan sent of him to vexe you that put you in feare and would make you beleeue lies Con. Sir it is not for nothing that their name is Legion for they are many there is another which doth not seldome molest me for when I cannot deny vpon a right tryall taken of my selfe but that the grace of God is in some measure begun in mee yet then sometimes steps in a shamelesse messenger of Sathan Doubting of perseuerance answered much like his maister that hath sorsworne all shame truth thinking to out-face mee and beare me down by maine strength hee will needs face mee downe that I shall not continue in grace the way to heauen so straight and difficult my skill so little my weaknesse so great my enemies so many mighty crafty resolute and malicious that it is not possible for mee to hold out to the end that I might be saued Min. Dare you looke this Goliah in the face or enter cōbat with him Con. Yes that I dare and doe and will doe all my dayes because hee blasphemeth the liuing God as though he could lye or did repent but I doe not trust in my owne bow neither can my sword saue me I do not betake my selfe to my owne strength good mind and meaning free-will c as blinde Papists and others doe for these are weapons of Sathans owne making and be sure hee will make none to hurt himself withall therefore I take vnto mee the g Eph. 6.17 sword of the spirit which is the word of God this I brandish against the tempter and tell him as it tells me that h Ier. 31.3 the loue of God is an euerlasting loue and i Ioh. 13.1 whom Christ loueth hee loueth to the end and k Io. 10.28 none can plucke mee out of his hand neither men nor diuels and l Ro. 8.39 nothing can separate mee from the loue of God in Christ neither life nor death height nor depth things present nor things to come no not sin it selfe which is most likely of any thing for that lyes pining and wasting in mee in as much at the first instant of conuersion it fell into a deepe consumption and that incurable all the drugs of that old Empirick the Diuell can neuer restore it to perfect strength againe therefore I shall endure to the end and in the end bee saued for all that Secondly for the better animating of me to perseuere m He. 12.2 I looke vnto Christ the author and finisher of my faith he held out to the end in suffering for mee why should not I then hold out to the end in seruing of him he would not leaue me in hell fire why then should I leaue him in the heat of temptation or in the cold bleake winde of affliction well I am n Phil. 1.6 confident of this verie thing that hee which hath begunne the good worke in me will performe it vntill the day of our Lord Iesus Christ Min. What is there else which doth perplex your minde Con. Doubting of presuming answered I am now and then grieuously affraid that I doe but presume in being perswaded that I shall be saued by Christ partly because I am so very sinfull and my vnworthinesse is so great and partly because mee thinks I doe not grieue enough for my sins Min. What helpe do you vse against this shaking fit Con. First I consider that it is but spirituall pride in the habite and shew of great humility to feare to beleeue because of our great sinfulnesse and vnworthines for thus wee shew wee would haue some thing of our owne to bring to God or else we dare not trust him we would spie some righteousnesse and worthines in our selues before we bee perswaded of saluation and so not to be beholding to God this proceeds from the poysonfull root of pride and naturall popish desire of meriting at the hands of God Secondly I must not hang off from beleeuing till I finde that I grieue enough for my sinnes for this were to set the cart before the horse In as much as godly sorrow for sinne proceeds from faith therefore I must not stay to beleeue till I finde more godly sorrow but I must beleeue more that I may grieue more for my sinnes for the more faith the more godly sorrow Thirdly indeed if I had bin neuer humbled in the fearefull sight of my sinnes and a sense of the heauy load thereof then I should presume if I did perswade my selfe in that estate to bee saued but now I see and feele my sinnes and misery and what extreme neede I haue of Christ God calls me as verily as if it were by name Matth. 11.28 to come vnto Christ that is to beleeue in him therefore there can be no danger in so doing I can not sinne or presume in being perswaded that I
shall bee saued by Christ for that perswasion which followes sound humiliation is faith that which goes before is presumption Therefore I may well be out of feare that my beleeuing is presuming nay I can not doe amisse in being perswaded that I shall bee saued I can not bee forward enough herein but this belongs not at all to them that were neuer troubled in minde nor wounded in conscience for the greatnesse of their sinnes the dread of hell and horrible wrath of God due to them for their sinnes for they indeed presume Min. I like and approue well of this that you say but let me heare if there bee any further matter which causeth doubting in you Con. Euill thoughts Doubting because of euill thoughts answered and cogitations are no small dauntment to me for neuer was the land of Aegypt more pestered with noysome vermine than I am with foule filthy impious yea sometimes blasphemous thoughts against the holy maiesty of God they come vpon me thicke and three-fold I can at no time in no place be quiet for them yea when I am in the presence of God speaking vnto him by prayer or he speaking to mee by his word or when I am about any other holy duty euen then they come crowding in vpon me I wonder somtimes with my selfe how or which way they should so creepe in to amaze and astonie me and withall to choke and interrupt the holy businesse I haue in hand the vglinesse of these euill thoughts works horror and quaking in my heart and makes mee thinke my selfe no better than a firebrand of hell and that I might do well O Lord forgiue that horrible and murdering thought to make away my selfe Min. This seemes to bee as strong a Diuell as any that driues you thus neere the gates of death I had almost said of hell how doe you to recouer strength and to get the victory ouer him Con. Strong hee is indeed but o 1 Ioh. 4.4 greater is hee that is in vs than hee that is in the world First therefore I consider that I do not loue like and approue of these euill thoughts wherewith I am so combred nay I abhor them as the Diuell himself by whom they are hatched insomuch as they make mee euen weary of my selfe because of the stinking breath thereof continually steaming forth ready almost to choake my soule and when Sathan by these thoughts doth breake in violently vpon mee I doe not bid him welcome and lay him as it were a cushen to take vp his seat in my minde and heart to haue residence in me by these so vile and horrible motions and cogitations but I deale by him and them as men doe by theeues that breake into their houses at vnawares they giue them no abode but hunt and driue them out againe so soone as euer they come within the threshold with all the speed power that they can and therefore the Lord will not account mee a friend vnto them much lesse the father of them I shall not beare their name much lesse the burden of them he will neuer lay them to my charge to answere for them Secondly I am resolued as long as I liue for so long I shall bee troubled with them to resist them with all my might And like as r Gen. 32.2 6. Iacob ceased not to wrestle though his thigh was bruised till hee had the blessing so neither will I till I haue got the victory Thirdly I know that the Lord will not be angry with mee for these euill thoughts which I consent not to nor take no pleasure in but hate for will a tender mother bee angry with the babe shee beares in her armes because some naughty people fling stones at it hurt it and make it cry nay will not rather her bowels vern to ward it will shee not rather hugge it closer to her stroake it kisse it and bemoane it but her anger is toward them that fling stones at it whereby they bruised and battered the face of it she could finde in her heart to flie in their face and to scratch out their eyes that did her childe that harme surely then the Lord will not bee offended with mee because my enemies Sathan and the flesh cast fiery darts at mee thereby wound mee for I cannot helpe it but his fierce indignation is against them for that they doe so molest me and he doth and will both pitie and helpe mee so much the more for q Psal 103 13. as a father pittieth his children so the Lord pittieth them that feare him and his affection toward his children is infinitely farre surpassing the affection of the tender heartedst mother in the world toward her dearest babe for though a mother could forget the childe of her wombe yet would not I forget you saith the Lord. Min. Yet a litle more I pray you let vs heare of Sathans deepe subtletie and hellish policie in labouring to defeat you of all true comfort here and of heauen it selfe heereafter Con. Doubting because of afflictions answered Sometimes hee would needs perswade mee and my owne heart withall is ouer-greedy I confesse to catch vp and swallow such poysoned morsels that I am none of Gods children and that the Lord doth not loue mee because I am kept so neere and bare and am so followed continually with afflictions I am hardly free at any time from one or other they are like Iobs messengers while one is speaking to me before he hath done his message fully there comes in another sicknes paines aches losses of friends goods good name outward crosses and calamities innumerable beside the inward affliction of the minde oh That the greatest of all for a wounded spirit who can beare a rare thing it is not to see mee vnder some one or other of these to keepe me downe whereas I see the wicked wallow in their wealth as they doe in their wickednesse and Esaus portion is r Gen. 27.39 the fatnesse of the earth they swim vp to the chin in riuers of oyle and wash their paths with butter Å¿ Iob. 21.24 15.27 their breasts are full of milke and their bones run full of marrow their faces are couered with fatnesse and they haue collops in their flanke yea t Ps 73.7 their eyes stand out for fatnesse and they haue more than heart can wish yea u Ps 119.70 their very heart is fat as grease they are so fat so lusty and strong that they kicke vp their heeles against their keeper and will not know their daily benefactor but contemne their master * Iob. 21.14 They say to God depart from vs for wee desire not the knowledge of thy wayes Beholde these are the vngodly who prosper in the world they increase in riches but as for mee poore wretch x Psal 73 14.12 all the day long haue I beene punished and chastened euery morning heereupon my feet were almost gone my steps had