boldness thorough Christ have â—câ—eâ—s unto the throne of Grace and through the Son injoy communion with the Father being related to God having him to be thy Father bâ—ing a member of Christ being bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh the temple of the Holy Ghost the Spirit of God dwelling in you and is God thy Father then consider who 't is is pâ—eased to own thee for a child not a man no nor the best of men would you not think it great honour to be the Son of some Noble Man much more if you were Son to a King is it honour to be Son to an earthly King an will you count it no glory to be Son to the King of Kings will you give honour to an earthly King and will you not honour him by whom Kings Reign surely if God becomes thy Father he deserves honour from such a poor wretched creature as thou art consider the transcendant love and iâ—finite wisdom of the great God in calling all out of the world if thou belong to him he will look on thee when thou art in thy blood when thou art covered over with a Leprosy of sin and corruption and no eye pittied thee when thou wert dead then he saith lâ—ve ye being an enemy he reconciled to himself through the Blood of his own Son the Son of his love in whom he was well pleased in whom he delighted in whom there was no sin neither guile found in his Mouth yet this was the infinite unspeakable Love of God to poor sinners and for our sakes was the Lord of glory willing to come down out of the Bosom of his Father into the Circle of corruped earth to disrobe himself of his gloâ—y and take upon him sinful flesh nay he took upon him the form of a Servant and â—umbled hâ—mself unto deaâ—h even thae cursed death of the Cross that he might exalt thee and purchase for thee a crown of Glory what heart is there but a heart of stone that these charractors of Gods unspeakable Love cannot make impression upon have you seen the Love of God in Christ and not been touched with a lively sence of so infinite a mercy have you experienced it is any wise and not found the love of Christ to be a constraining Love surely those that have tasted the gratious sweetness of the Lord will be filled with a holy admiration and will have a heart full of breathings after those Heavenly visions and long for a more intire Communion with the Father of mercies and the God of Love But these seem to be strange things to a carnal Soul they are not to be seen with the eyes of flesh but by the eye of faith through the opperation of the Spirit the holy spirit of God the holy Ghost the comforter which our Saviour promised to send to his disciples and with them the whole elect of God now did we but consider the miserableness of our condition by nature being dead duâ—l blockish having no life or sence at all in any spiritull action yet that the Lord should awaken such out of the graves of there sins and reveal the righteousness of Christ unto them who can but admire the infinite goodness of our God now when this spirit of God workes it comes with power discovering sin and teaching the Soul to deny all ungodlyness and sinfull lusts and to live righteously and soberly in this present evill world the Soul is convinced of siin before of righteousness Christ came not to call the righteous but sinners to repentance who will seek to a physitian that is not senâ—able of any want he have of him be that thinks himself most secure hath the most need of help Laâ—dicea said she was rich and full and needed nothing when Christ found her poor blind and naked and she knew not not her miserable condition being destitute and wholy wanting When we see our selves at a loss O whether shall we go but unto Christ who is infinitely able to save unto the utâ—eâ—most all that by faith come unto him let us not dispaire for God is faithfull who hath promised and his word shall stand for ever let us fly unto the throne of his graee by that new and living way which he hath found out and appointed for the eternall comfort of poor sinners even the Lord Jesus Christ the Lord of glory and the Son of his love that whosoever truly repents from his heart and by faith lares hold upon him shaâ—l not perish but have everlasting liâ—e O let us admire the infinite goodness of the â—ord and dilligently inquire whether we have ever had this change effectuall wrought in us or no have we the shâ—mtâ—mbes of a new born Soul in us then we shall â—ee what cause we have to magnifie the riches of his grace in calling us from the world unto himself by his holy spirit that hath not suffered us to lye buryed under the ruins of our own sins out of which we cannot come without the drâ—wings of God and the greatness of the mercy wiâ—l heighten our praise when we consider the infinite number of dead Souls on the right hand and on the left and yet that the Lord should please in a more perticular manner gratiously to look upon us A Heaven born Soul as new born babe desires the sincere milke of the word that it may grow thereby which being fed upon through the power of the spirit is able to bring the Soul into a perfect state in Christ Jesus who is the word of life and the express image of his fathers person A new creature finds in himself a wonderful change every faculty of his soul is changed Christ died to redeem us to himself from the world from our vain conversations As well to sanctâ—fie us as to save us that we should live no longer to our selves but to him that hath bought us and purchased to himself a peeular people zâ—aâ—ous of Good Works that he might reign as a King in our hearts who is the King of righteousenss and who has commanded us to be holy as he is hâ—ly without which there is no seeing of the face of a holy God and siâ—ce it is onely Love and new obediance which proceed from Love that the Lord of Glory hath required of us in return of those unspeakable tokâ—ns of hiâ— Lovâ— to us O what are we or what is our Love that we should not think all we have two little for so good a God that we should not willingly render unto the Lord our ALL is nothing at all what is good is of the Lord not ours and his but just that he should have his own O then let us not keep back any part of what the Lord hath required of us but let us turn to him with the whole heart for it is his by purchase and though he hath in mercy afforded us greater comforts for our use it is not that our hearts should be taken up in them
Lord resisteth Oh give thy poor unworthy one more grace and keep my soul humble under the sence and feeling of thy gratious Love so shall I Lord still praise thee and whilst I live extol the riches of thy grace O to injoy this sweet communion with thy glorious self Dear Lord this is more delightful and more pretious to me then to injoy the greatest treasures upon eâ—rth how pretious is the Lord unto my soul These are the excellencies and the glorious priviledge of a regenerate soul a new creature whose heart is changed through the gratious opperation of the holy spirit the whole nature is changed the glorious Image of the Lord Jesus is râ—newed on it it is made an heir of Heaven a tempâ—e of the Holy Ghost a member of Christ Of thirsting after assurance of Heaven BLessed are they that hunger and thirst after righteousness for they shall be filled they shall be made to drink deep of the wells of Salvation they shall be filled in the mansions of eternal glory when others shall be deprived of the least crum of comfort t is he that seeks shall find and he that knocks shall have the door opened unto him seek ye first the kingdom of Heaven and the righteousness thereof and all these things shall be added unto you things of this life are but additional acts of his bounty The great and prime part of a Christians work is to make sure of Heaven and his eâ—ernall happyness hereafter O great is that goodness of the Lord how abundant his compassion his love to poor sinful man who would not have them set their hearts on such poor low things as only this world affords but a Kingdom of glory yea an everlasting Kingdom that shall never fade a kingdom in which dwelleth righteousness the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus no less then these things would the Lord have his poor people covet after the rest are but things less material and shall be given over and above these things shall be added to you O wonderful goodness Such great and glorious priviledges such promises such additional comforts Oh what is man that thou shouldest be so mindful of him or the son of man that thou shouldest thus delight to do him good Oh my soul this is the Lords doings it is the great JEHOVAH is thus pleased to stoop and condescend on terms of mercy to take poor sinful souls into his favour I and he willeth nothing less to them then an eternal weight of Glory and is not this worth seeking after O sure it is to that soul who hath had a tast of what it is su e heavenly treasures far exceed all earthly vanities then surely in proportion to the goodness of them should the desire of the â—oul be let out after them Therefore O let thy affections be set on heavenly things since it is the goodness of the Lord to thee that thou mightest â—ast that he is gratious that thou shouldest by sweet experiences find him to be faithful in whatsoever he hath promised for good unto thy soul thy poor immortal soul which without his grace had perished to all eternity O 't is for good to thee the Lord hath thus commanded thee to seek that everlasting Kingdom O t is thy soul will be the gainer and thou through grace shall one day find it so O remember my Soul thy Covenant with God in the day of thy espousal then when it was the time of love when he was pleased to put thee in the clefts of the rock Christ Jesus and then to cause his gâ—ory to pâ—sâ— before thee to make with thee an everlasting Covenant setled and sure thâ—t in the unchangeableness of his Grace shall stand for ever wer 't thou but all wayes in the contemplations of these heavenly joyes thy heart could find no time to place it self on such mean things as this poor world affords to be rich in Grace and to be heirs of Glory O how much better is it then to be incumbred with the things below to have Communion with God and to joy in the presence of thy King is far better then to be in favour with the greatest Princes upon Earth oh let my soul dear father live daily in the rich experience of this blessed truth more and more whilst my abode is here oh let me find the daily quickning of thy gratious spirit to injoy thy presence is to live in Heaven whilst here oh tâ—s thy self that makes the passage sweet to Glory oh t is the cords of thy Love that makes the soul to run with hungrings and breathings after thee that makes it love thy precepts more then its dayly food thus thou hast made me through thy grace experimentally to tast O then hide not thy face dear Lord from my soul The Loves wherewith thou hast delighted my soul goes beyond all earthly glories oh in the sence of this let my soul walk before my God in its integrity yea for this will I go unto my God and Father for daily supplies since he it is that giveth liberally Meditations of Death IS death a terror to a gâ—atious Soul what is there in it can affright thee when as the sting is gone let it put on its worse ill shapen dress it can it shall produce no harm unto thee Death shall but â—elease thee from a wretched world of misery and prefer thee to a glorious Crown of blessedness the one will make thee everlasting miserable the other eternally happy in the fruition of the fathers Love in the full free and perfect injoyment of his glorious presence unto all eternity oh then how happy how blessed a thing it is to be dissolved and be with Christ where sin shâ—ll no more haunt thee here poor soul thou canst not chuse but see thy self daily involved with sin followed with corruptions one of the worst of sinners and in that thy shame should pull thee down into the dust and make thee daily mourn in the abhorrency of thy vile self since 't is a God of so much Love that thou dost daily sin against oh wretched Soul maist thou cry out who shall deliver thee from this body of death Yet O my soul take comfort in a dying Lord and glory in the strength of him who is the God of thy salvation O let his strength be magnified in thy weakness and the riches of his grace appear more glorious in the saving of such a one thou well maist say thou art the worst of sinners and yet through grace thou canst say thou dost abhor sin dost thou delight in it no t is thy burthen and since t is so take comfort In the remembrance of him who sweetly sayes come unto me he hath taken out the sting and is become thine advocate yea and will plead thy cause through his own merit and everlasting Righteousness in which through free grace and infinit mercy he will present thee spotless before the throne of that Heavenly Grace
heart and â—ryeth the reins Great mistakes through a deceitful heart thou maist entertain and apply to thy self that comfort which of right belongs not to thee a deceitful heart saith oft times Peace where no true peace is therefore O how pretious is that peace of God that passeth understanding that only can make the Soul happy that blessed peace which the Lord Jesus breathed upon his poor disciples and left them as a glorious legacy of pretious Love O my soul It must be Christ in thee the hope of Glory must be the author of thy comfort and eternal happiness therefore sayes the Apostle by this truth try the truth of your condition examine your selves whether ye be in the faith 2 Cor. 13. 5. Prove your own selves know ye not your own selves that Christ be not in you except you are reprobates a sad and dismal condition to be rested in and since it is so needful a thing to be found in Christ O my Soul how requisite would it be and how much would it add unto thy present and eternal comfort to be fully assured in this point of so great importance but what should a poor weak creature do Lord I will cast my self at thy footstool O do thou prove me and try me and suffer me not to rest under a deceitful heart make clear this in the way of prayer meditation c. and to my Soul that by the spirit speaking peace my soul may be sealed up with everlasting comfort by which to glorifie the riches of thy free Grace for ever Meditations of being in Christ TO be in Christ is to be a new Creature quickned inlivened delivered from the power of sin and Satan and the deadness of our sinful natures to serve the living Lord the spirit is given unto those whom he hath called by Grace and taken into Covenant with himself for he that hath not the spirit of Christ is none of his and this spirit is holy humble gratious teaching the soul to know the voice of him that gives it My sheep her my voice the Lord knows them also for he hath given them of his own spirit and so made them to be partakers with him of the Divine nature by which grace the soul comes to be a follower of Jesus Christ denying ungodliness and sinful lusts All these things which are in opposition to so glorious a change and to be more in confâ—â—mity unto our Lord and Saviour who hath gâ—ven of his spirit unto poor souls that they might be so nâ—w the fruits of the spirit is love joy peace long sâ—ffâ—ring genâ—â—â—â—â—ss goodness faith weakness temperaâ—ce fuâ—filled all in that blessed pattern the Lord Jesus who out of Love to the poor Soul made himself an example that thou thereby mightest learn of him instructions Now the righteous Lord loves righteousness and is gratiously pleased to place a delight in that soul that desires to walk humbly before him having access unto the father by the same spirit of Christ living in the soul by faith through him to find acceptance at the throne of Grace and favour in the sight of the great and holy God now my soul be earnest in the search this great thing ask the assistance of thy great JEHOVAH thy tender loving father who only can give grace and promiseth gratiously that he will supply the wants of them that truly seek him and shall spread their case before him through so rich a mediator the Mediator of that new and everlasting Covenant of grace and mercy who hath said for the comfort of his poor Wormâ— here whatsoever ye shall ask the father in my name believing it shall be done unto you O is the Lord so gratious and hast thou so great refuge to run to why standest thou here gazing Meditations of being the Servant of Christ OH how rich a priviledge is it to be a Servant of the Lord Jesus Christ hath not my Lord been pleased to give me a heart truly to beg this yea from my soul to beg that he would cast his yoak upon my neck that he would accept of me poor worm to be his servant O how much more did my soul long to be made a door keeper in the house of my God then to injoy the greaâ—est glories of the world O how hath my soul longed yea thirsted after the living Lord that he would please to make me one whom he would honour with the beholding of â—is glory not desiring greater priviledge O but my Soul now see and above all admire the gratious condescention or thy glorious God who hath not only answered the poor request which he did through grace inable thee to breath out before him but hath abundantly inlarged his bounty and filled thee with joy he hath filled the hungry Soul with good things with the best things and given thee not only a sight of his Glory but O the abounding Love the unspeakable goodness of thy gratious God an interest in that glory so that thou canst through grace now say thou art my God thou art my Lord so great a priviledge to me thou knowest dear Lord my soul desires to resine it self to thee make it such as thou wouldst have it Lord I am thine do by me whaâ—soever seemeth good in thy sight this afternoon the Lord was pleased to bring open home unto my soul the glorious nature of prayer through the Ministry of our dear Pastors from the 12 of Rom. to the 12 v. that this prayer is It is a Saints recreation A glorious exercise in which the Soul hath access to go through a Mediaâ—or whereby a Saint may improve his interest daily at the throne of grace and make humble confession of our manifold transgressionâ— to ask things needful for us these remain on our part but to return humble and hearty thanksgivings to the Lord for all our mercies herein is the Lord glorified and O what a comfort through Grace is it when we can give thanks when we can come and return hearty and humbâ—e thanks at the throne for all the good we have and do daily receive from the bountiful hands of our great JEHOVAH Lord be thou pleased to engrave this upon the heart of thy poor servant Meditations on the 11th of Luke 19. Of a new heart And I will give them one heart and I will put a new spirit within you and I will take tâ—e stony heart out of the flesh and will give them a heart of flesh WHo is the giver of this new heart even the Lord of Glory what is this new heart it is a pure single upright sincere heart why doth the Lord in the conversion of a Soul give him a new heart because it is the heart that he requires in duties the sincerity of the soul to walk before him in Love this cannot an old base carnal heart do until it be renewed an humble soul goes with a regenerated Soul the Lord will give more grace unto the humble but pride the
for a little very little season â—anity emptyness a bubble a pleasant â—ream to such a rich solid satisfying durable glorious enjoyment of Jesus Christ while hâ—re as but a tast of the glory shall be revealed Those vain pleasures of Youth must issue in sorrow and deep repentance and bitterness of Soul if ever pardoned and saved but the pleasure of knowing having being in Christ Jesus and the delightful fellowship of the Saints have with him issues a blâ—ssed cheaâ—fulness and joy in God without fear of Repentance unless it be that we have no more of Christ in us and that we sin against such Love and Grace so freely revealed to us Oh how happy are younger Men and Maidens as the Psalmist speaks 148 Psal that begin to fear the Lord from their youth to seek early after Jesus Christ for the Lord to see their Faces before the throne and to hear their sighs and cryes after him for Christ the Spirit saving grace power against all sin to take up a Cross and choose ye affliction and reproach of the Lords people before the vanity's Pride of Life and Fading Glory of this world this oh this is happiness soul-happiness everlasting happiness riâ—hes honour peace blessing which none can take away Especially in an Age of the great corruption of youth when Religion is made a by-word and a scorn when many hardned and blaspheme when so Few of the youth of noble and generous familyes Fall in with serious Godliness sobriety but serving divers lusts and plâ—asures to all excess of Riot to the debasing of their Spirits in a degenerateness from true Nobility and generousness of Spirit which is in knowledge good learning true wisdom and piety as fitting them to serve God and their Generation Oh in the midst of such impiety's how beautiful how honourable how pleasing to the Holy God for any younger persons especiall such as pretend to a generous mind and education such as are in Family's where excess prophaneness abounds or the Sons and Daughters of Godly Parents to betake your selves to seek and know and fear serve the great blessed God betimes to be an example and a blessing to secure Christ and holiness and heaven to walk in the truly noble delightful pretious ways which this peice and she that lived it holds forth unto thee In order hereunto how should the Soul of Parents unless they will be Soul Murtherers to their Children be in travail for grace and Conversion for their Children and not think it enough to get them Estates honours and great things in this Life and leave them and it under a curse that all sorts of Parents not only give them liberty but incourage them to Godliness to pray and read the Scriptures and attend upon powerful means of grace to tremble at sin to dispose of them in the world in order hereunto as this blessed Soul acknowledgeth the good use of Parents reproof and instructions unto her 1. In this peice you have first an account of her Conversion and calling how the Lord gradually carried on her first convictions her daily diligence in prayer and the word when a child the discoveryes she had of the Free grace of the Gospel of the Mistery of Christ of Righteousness by Faith of being in Christ of the love oâ— God and Fâ—llowship with him of which she gives an exact and distinct account discovering the choice and spiritual understanding she had in the Mistery of the Gospel not taking up only from sin to duty when Christ and grace little understood as it may be feared many do nor yet turning grace into wantonness but under the constraints of the choice discoveryes of Free and glorious Grace and the loves of God in the admirement and adoration of which she lived to attend to most intimate Communion with him the breathings and parting 's of her Soul as you will see still running out afrer more injoyment of and likeness to her deaâ— Lord Jesus and exactest holiness bemoaning her self wherein she fell short 2. Next you will meet witk her longing after the reâ—l Communion of Saints which all profess to believe in the Creed but will not bear the practice of in the pure ordinances of the Gospel in a con Congregational Chuch so called which when she enjoyed she expressed those blessed delights she had in Fellowship with the Lord Jesus the kisses of his Lips she there met with his blessed Ordinances and establishment of soul in peace and joy in believing 3. You have a choice discourse of Wisdom the true Heavenly Wisdom which her Soul diligently sought after and found which was more pretious to her then Rubies and all the things that are not to be compared to it the rich experience whereof she commends to the World in the debasement of all fleshly Wisdom iâ— comparison of it Especially to her dear Relations in the flesh which is the next particular in this discourse to whose acceptance she commends it with such bowels and gratioâ— affection and sweetness of Spirit such powerfâ—l convincing motives and from what of Heaven her own Soul hath tasted as might become one very skilful in the word of Righteousness to whose serioâ— perusal with the blessing of God I would commend it as that which may lead you into the path of Life helpt on by the singular example of her Life in her Holy sweet acceptable conversation towards you which I hope you are convinced did arise from a divine principle of Grace so to fill up every Relation to you longing after all your Eternal Salvation in Christ Jesus oh may all of you be ingaged not only to read but to beg of God the same Spirit of Wisdom and grace that was found in her to walk in the same steps and wayes Heaven ward that this be not a witness against any of you at the great day of Jesus Christ 4. The next part is as she stiles it the mistery of Godliness namely of the mistery of God in Christ the grace and love of â—â—e Father revealed by hâ—m in which I may take libâ—rty to say is as much of the Misteâ—y of the Gospel discoveâ—ed as usuaâ—ly I have met with in so little a Room especially as to living in a delightful fellowship therewith which was her great business till taken up unto him 5. The rest consists of occasional Meditations choice experiences ravishments of Divine Love admirations of grace holy praises sweet supports under tryals with the account she used to take of her self of hearing the word and the preparation of her soul thereto in those pretious longings of her Soul to meet with her dear Lord in Ordinances and the high value she put upon Communion of Saints in a Church of Christ of which there is but Room for the giving out of some tastes in this little Treatise Lastly her Meditations of death which the spirit of Christ was preparing her for in her time of health whereby death was made familiar to her
that she fell asleep in Jesus even before we were aware of it and indeed she could hardly bear the absence from her dear Lord any longer as in her last Poem you will perceive Surely by such a despised Testimony the sleepy World is condemned and every Soul tâ—at peruseth it should be provoked to take the Kingdom of Heaven by the same violence And Professors of Godliness may hereby be convinced of slightness of Spirit sinful neglects formality in duty and ordinances Love of the World decays in Grace taking up with priviledges of Saints when intimate Communion with the Lord and growth of grace is not so seriously attended to by them against which this Treatise is also a living Testimony and may be blessed of God to the quickning of them Let all such specially but remark that veâ—n and Spirit runs through their short discourses which was to prepare and keep her Soul to God to be duly calling in her own heart much in deepest humbling and â—elâ— reflexion Praying Reading Meditation being her Morning and Evening exercise highly esteeming every opportunity of enjoying the Lord accounting the feet of those beautifull that brought the good tidings having a high reverence and affection for the servants of Christ in that work and an intire love to all Saints as Saints though of different perswasions at this day in the weakness Tenderness Patience Love of the Spirit especially let me bespeak the Congregation of Christ whereof she was a Member in this City as also all the Churches of Saints to be following this Holy and pretious example and practice which seemâ—th to be ordered by a hand oâ— prâ—vidence and grace to awaken professors from the evils mentioned which I fear have overtaken many instead of their soul being kept in life and warmth and attending to spirituallity and growth in grace and being full of love and good works under the loud calls they have thereunto by the word and providences of God they are under that they may witness a good profession as they are called thereunto in the midst of a gainsaying generation Reader in a word thou maist here learn what it is to live and dye comfortably which is the great concernment before thee which the Lord in his rich grace give unto thee and bless the reading hereof for the ends for which it is published as prayeth Thy Servant for Jesus sake A. P. In the Year 1670. The Account of her early conversation O my Soul considâ—r the wonderful goodness of God revealing his free Grace and unbounded Love towards thee a poor Worm oh how wonderful is this condescention of his that thou shouldest be made an object of mercy my soul forget not his unspeakable love let it be recorded keep in remembrance thâ—se choice blessings of a loving Father bestowed so freely on me in the Lord Jesus Christ the dear Son of his Love who hath born with thee in many weaknesses iâ—firmities and ever seem'd to ovâ—rlook all corruâ—tions and set thee undeâ— his eye of pitty and compassion O let this be a means mâ—re to incite to a near closer walking with God that thou maist be born up against the wâ—les of Sâ—tan thy subtle enemy whose aim iâ— to destroy thee for ever IN the 11 Year of my Age the Lord was pleased to take away my dear Mother my Parents were very dear and tender of me and did not leave me without instructions of the things of God At that time the Lord was pleased to carry out my heart to things I then knew not For as soon as my Parents had taught me there was a God I had an awe upon my heart concerning him I could then reason with my heart and said the Lord made me and he made me to serve him and I must do it so being young the Lord was pleased in the freeness of his Grace to kindle in my heart some small sparks of affections to himself I remember on a time a little Brother of mine was sick and my Mother being very tender of her Child one Lords day would not go to Church which caused me also to stay at home but wanting employment out of my Mothers sight went to work about my babies at night the Lord was pleased to take a way the Child I standing by the Cradle which brought a fear upon me presently that I had been the cause by my working that day of the Lords anger in taking away my brother I also remember that I went out and wept bitterly in the consideration of my days work but never let my friends know it I was much troubled at it but hoped such was the ignorance of my heart that all would be well again by my praying and going to Church which I was careful to do and fearful to omâ—â— one duty which might hinder the means of my salvation and cause the Lord to be displeased with me The Ten Commandments was much upon my heart making that my only rule to walk by and was earnest with the Lord that he would help me to the daily observing and fulfilling of them for then knew there must be a greater power then my own to inable me to the performance of it also my Parents taught me in my Carechism what was my duty towards God and towards my Neighbour by my continual saying of them the Lord was pleased to work them upon my spirit and into my affections and then in mercy to take notice of me in the freeness of his Grace and tender mercy to own me in the Lord Jesus Christ whom I was ignorant of aâ— to what he had done and undergone for my soul but now I can't but admire to behold the infinite goodness and tender love of God who was then pleased to chuse me from amongst my Brethren and his own self took care of me leading me by many paths of providence passing over all my Corruptions my weaknesses and my failings caused me to find a tender hearted Father of a great and Holy God oh how sweetly hath the Lord been pleased to carry on the work of Grace in my poor unworthy Soul How exceedingly doth his Glory shine and his goodness appear in that he whâ— iâ— the high and mighty One the Great God of Heaven and Earth the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords should condescend so far as to cast his eye upon a Worm much more His love upon a distressed creature About the same year of my Age the Lord was pleased to take away my dear Mother by which I had a great loss yet knowing it was my duty to trust God at all times I laboured therefore to be content and the Lord was pleased to bear me up by considerations of his love I was in the time of my Mothers life sickly and weak subject to divers bodily infirmiâ—ies which made my Mother the more tender of me hence I was more sensible of my great loss but such was thâ— goodness of God that he was pleased then wholy to take
little spiritual life and my heart also was carried out after vanities then I found that I had lost the former sweet incombs of the Lord and the refreshings of this blessed spirit and was as one luâ—led a sleep by the deceitful inchantments of Satan and malitious devices O wicked and decâ—iâ—ful â—eaâ—t how couldst thou so soon forget such bondage delivered from such 〈◊〉 aâ— the Devil had so often got thee into how soon hast thou forgot the God of all thy mercies how hast thou made the Lord to serve with thy sins Yet once more was the Lord pleased to call me out of my benumbed conditions and shewed how I was running my self into my own destruction Oh the goodness of the Lord who never dâ—d leave me but to see my oâ—n in aâ—ility to live without his heâ—p then did the Lord in mercy convince me of the emptiâ—ess of all Earthly vanities and also of that way of formal worship that it was a dead carnal lifeless thing under which my soul couâ—d not prosper and so growing weary of it more and more at length besought the Lord to guide my poor iâ—norant Soul which was so easie to be led away with every wicked and â—ubâ—ile device of â—atan my heart desired much to hear goâ—d men and when I could with convenience which some took notice of and said I was one whom the Apostle speaks of having iâ—chiâ—g ears ever lâ—arning c. â—his did muâ—h afflict me about which the Lord was pleased to give me a heart to seeâ— him and that earnestly for his assistance in the knowledge of his truth One more experience of the providence of God appeared unto me as an incouragement to trust in his mercy and to wait upon him by prayer for all things I had at that time a distemper upon me of which I saw no hope of cure yet one day particularly being in a serious meditation of the infinite goodness of the Lord toward me the Lord was pâ—eased to direct my eye upon a place of Scripâ—ure where I found the woman coming to the Lord confessing that she had â—pent aâ—l she hâ—d â—o be cuâ—ed of her Infirmity and one touch of Christs garment had done it from thence may not I come trembling that have received so many testimonies of his love tryed so many medcines before I came unto the Lord or looâ—ed up to him for help then did I bewail my unpâ—ofitableness yet went unto the Lord in the language of the Lepper and said Lord if thâ—u wilt thou canst make me clean who was not deaf to my poor request but in some small time was gratiously pleased as I may say without means wholy to clear me of it this mercy carried up my heart more to praise the Lord then any yet I had received who notwithstanding all my weaknesses and sinfulnesses was gratiously pleased to follow me with many mercys Of further discoveries of Christ Then was the Lord pleased in his gratious Providence to remove me to a place in H. Sh. where I had much more advantage of means and helps for my poor Soul VVHere the Lord was pleased to give me through his grace a little more insight into the mind â—f Christ evidencing himself to be a God graâ—ious and merciful abundant in gâ—odnâ—ss c. I was filled with admiration to see the holy glorious God abase himself to so poor a wretchless Creature as I then was I cryed out with earnest desires and longings after more of the knowledge of this God but here came I under strong temptations Satan was powerful in raising up of spiritual Pride but the Lord whose goodness never failled me did then take care for me thou O Lord who broughtest me out of the Pit of despair O suffer me not to climb up to the Mount of Presumption then was the Lord pleased in the tenderness of his love to convince me that the poor in Spirit were heirs of the Kingdom that the lowly Soul was his habitation then I besought God begging at the Throne of Grace for the assistance of his gratious Spirit without which I could do nothing and that he would humble me even to the dust that so my Soul might not loose the sight of that Glory revealed in the face of Jesus Christ This the Lord was gratiously pleased to grant and sweetly bring me to see a riches in Christ Jesus and that this was more to be desired then all the treasures upon Earth The longings of her Soul after Church Fellowship and all the Ordinances of Christ THen did I long after God and the injoyment of him in his own way and said Lord thou hast made me O lead me in that way wherein I may bring most glory to thy self I durst â—ot trust my own judgement but resign'd my self unto his will and continued my petitions at tâ—e â—hrone of Grace and at length he was pleased gâ—atiâ—usâ— to answer my poor prayer â—lessâ—d be â—hy name O Lord O let my Soul be inlarged in thy pâ—aâ—ses One day the Lord was pleased by a strange providence to cast me into the company of one that I never saw before but of a sweet and free disposition and whose discourse savour'd so much of the Gospel that I could not but at that instant bless God for his goodness in that providence it pleased the Lord to carry out our hearts much towards one another at that time and a little while after the Lord was pleased to bring us together again for the space of three dayes in which time it pleased God by our much converse together to establish and confirm me more in the desires I had to jâ—yn with the people of God in socâ—ety and enjoy Communion with them according to the order of the Gospel she was of a society of the Congregational way called Iudependants and gave me so clear a demonstration of their wayes that upon considerations and searching of the Scripture for the understanding of which learnestly besought the Lord I was cleerly convinc't in my judgment that this was the way which came nearest to the ruâ—e of the Gospel and the commands of Christ then were our hearts firmâ—y united and â— blessed the Lord from my soul for so glorious and vâ—sible an appearance of his love for I had many sweet refreshments given me at that time when she was gone I was sensible of the great mercy the Lord had been pleased to show me but in an instance snatcht it from me again at which I began to be troubled but aâ—ter a few reflections to this purpose why do I not patiently submit to the will of my Father who knows what is best for me my soul was again filled with hungrings and thirstings after God for a more clear and full inâ—oyment of him and that in that bâ—essed ordinance appointed for a seal to coâ—fiâ—m the Covenant he hatâ— gratiously made through hiâ— dear Son with aâ—l believers this was at a time when the Lord was pleased as to
Grace hath experienced and that alone hath put me upon this according to the measure wherewith the Lord hath inabled me to desire the good and eternal welfare of the Souls of my dear Brothers and Sisters and as we are all one in flesh and blood oh that it were the will of the Lord that we might be all of one and the same spirit sanctified by faith through the blood of Jesus Christ and it may be as I hope it will a Sisters counsel which hath experimentally tasted the wonderful goodness of God may work yet more upon you through the operation of his good spirit therefore suffered me to say it is good to seek the Lord whilst he may be found to call upon him whilst be is near Oh that I could perswade you to lay hold on time whilst the day lasteth not to resist the tenders of Grace when they be offered to you least they be hid from your eyes it is only the infinite wisdom goodness and mercy of God which only causeth him to look upon such sad wretched rebellious creatures as we are who could of stones raise up Children to praise him he hath no need of us nor our services but the need we had of a Saviour hath caused him to look upon us when no eye pittâ—ed us and in his infinite wisdom found ouâ— a means of deliverance even the dear son of his love whom he hath given to be broken bruised suffer death and become a curse for poor sinners that he might redeem them from the curse of the Law but this priviledge doth not belong to all sinners in general but to such who by a lively faith lay hold upon this crucified Christ else they who are sinners will be sinners still they shall dye in their sins and the wrath of God will be upon them to all Eternity great is the misery of a Christless and gracâ—less soul being an enemy to God then how can God be otherwise then an enemy to it Oh how can a soul rest in such a condition as this what peace can they have Doth it not then behove every soul to be earnest in searc hing to find out the true estate of his soul knowing for a truth they being the words of our Saviour that unless a man be born again he cannot enter into the Kingdom of Heaven till they are regenerated become new creatures in Christ putting off the old man with his deeds and putting on the new man which is after the spirit in righteousness and true â—oliness and this is all to be done by an interest in Christ that so his righteousness may become ours and all those priviledges of grace and mercy which he hath purchased may be imputed to us through the blood of his Cross and so by being in Covenant with the Father through the Son we shall have all things Oh what a blessed state is it to be in Covenant with the great God of Heaven and Earth Oh what a depth of Love iâ— it and how great a comfort is it to a poor soul covered over with a leprosie to see a Phâ—sitian not only able but willing to cure him for a poor lost creature which sees himself undone in himself by reason of the vast guilt and debt which lies upon him the shame which lies upon his soul by reason thereof As not daring to lift up his eyes to heaven when he shall not see only his debts paid but also Christ his advocate pleading with the Father in his behalf oh here lies the Souls true happiness and here is a believers comfort that Christ died not only for sinners but for me a sinner what is this to me or what comfort can it bring me to have a notion as most of the World hath that Christ died for sinners and I am one amongst the rest and therefore I hope to be saved by Christ had I no greater evidence for heaven my condition would surely be ever miserable but blessed be God it is otherwise with me and certainly if it were not my soul would be in a very restless condition oh did but any of you know what it is to be in a state of Grace you would surely see a sweet change you would look over and lament the many pretious hours you have let go in seâ—king after vanity and in the mean while lost so much sweetness and comfort as is to be had in the knowledge of God ways which are the things only delightful having substance and reality and can only proffit the Soul All other things are meer shaddows empty husks which cannoâ— satisfie the Soul these things which appear so pleasing to you now would when bâ— Grace you come to see the evil of them be the objects of your hatred there is nothing so gloriâ—us so sweet and so lovely as is the Lord Jesus he is aâ—together lovely to a gratiouâ— Soul who has tasted of divine goodness and hath been refreshed with the sweet streams of his Love which had you once but tasted you would surely see all earthly injoyments but poor vain things and count them all as nothing yea worse then nothing in comparrison of that hidden treasure that unsearchable riches which is laid up in the Lord Jesus and shall â—e revealed in his Saints oh that the Lord would incline your hearts to consider and weigh these things in your mind which is it better that your bodies should for a moment of time injoy the deceitful pleasures in this World then that your immortal Soulâ—s should injoy those transcendant and certain pleasures which shall never fade those heavenly Mansions of eternal rest which those Souls shall find who are in Christ at the last day and shall live in the presence of their dear redeemer for ever where the Soul shall never find more trouble but be ever praising the Loâ—d and singing HALâ—LE-LUJAHS to the King of Sainâ—â— oh how glorious a time will this be who is it then that would not be content with Balaam to dye the death of the righteous but unless we live the life of the righteous our latter end would not be so if Christ be not in us we are reprobaâ—es we lye under the heavy Wrath of an angry God and as it were dropping into hell every moment there ro receive the just reward of our doings in eternal distruction from which there is no redemption in a Lake which burneth with brimstone and fire and never goeth out is not assurance better then suspence is it not good to have assurance aâ—ways about us that when we shall come to render up our Souls at what timesoever they are required of us we may have nothing to do but resign it unto our fathers bosom Oh presume not in thy own supposed goodness Nothing but Christs blood could purchase Redemption and if by a lively faith thou canst lay hold on him thou shalt be made partaker of Christ and his benefits his righteousness made over to thee Then mayest thou with
thy Love run free my Soul to fill Oh leâ— the bounty of thy Love each day my Soul secure And let dear Lord thy mercies sweet to me poor worm indure So shall I tast with much delight thy blessings which are sure In them O Lord would I rejoyce as coming from the hand Of my dear Lord and Soveraign who doth all things command Let not the fulness fill my heart with pleasure and delight And take away my serious thoughts from praising thee aright O rather let me be in want then filled with loathsome Pride That will the Soul securely blind and sweetned mercies hide O let it be thy mercies still that I through grace may sing A song of praise to my Lord from whence all mercies spring Of self insufficiency HOw apt is the foolish heart of man to be puffed up with strong conceits of its own abilities and think it self something when indeed it is nothing O a monstrous piece of deceit therefore the Lord in his infinite wisdom suffers Souls to wander a little and so discovers the hearts deceitfulness that so poor creatures might go more out of themselves and see their own in abilities to any good and that they have nothing to depend on but the sure mercies of Iesus Christ have I not said with David surely I shall never be mâ—ved these sweet experiences of mercy and constraining love hath so ingaged my Soul to walk uprightly before God but I see there is no strength in me nor am I able to do any thing without fresh supplies of strengthning grace from thee therefore dear father be not far from helping thy poor worm that cries for succour from thee shall I ever give the reigns of my heart to run after the foolish pleasures of the world No not in the least there is a snare and Satan lurking to deceive therefore O Soul be watchful and dispise them all as things unworthy of thy love why they are vain and foolish but increase thou still after that greater good that Souls enamouring sweetness consisting in eternal pleasuâ—es in the most glorious Mansions of heaven where are celestial treasures and transcendant comforts Lord keep my heart from fooiish vanity And let my Soul feed ever upon thee O let my joys and comforts once again Quicken my Soul and there through grace remain O let the glory of thy grace appear To joy my Soul and to suppress my fear In sight of pretious Christ my Saviour dear Then shall I never have more cause of fear Yet t is too great a priviledge for me I have deserved naught but shame from thee Shouldest thou be just â—o mark what is amisâ— There 's nothing Lord of good dwells in my flesh T is at thy gratious footstool I woud lye To plead for mercy without which I dye Of Worldly Honour HOw poor a thing is worldly honour yet how it is hunted as if that were the chiefeli good as if the only way to make them happy were to have respect and honour from this foolish vain World poor Soul why are we so deceived with vain shadows whilst letting go the substance that Soul is truly honourabâ—e which is truly graâ—ious O how much better is it to be blessed with the least smile of Christ then to be made empress of the whole world man being in true honour understandeth not abideth not but is like the beast that perisheth soon forgetting his Maker and from whence he is tâ—ken not willing to remember that he is dust and thither he must â—eturn his heart is taken up with other things how to exceed in state in richness of attire in gallant speeches yea is there not too many who would thing it most honourable to be most vitious O how my Soul bleeds for their desperate blindness O why will you thus rebel and cause the Lord to pour forth the Vials of his Wrath upon your heads who thus prophane that holy and blessed name of the eternal glorious Majesty at whose presence Angels cover their faces and at whose voice the earth shook O what a Monster is sinful man whilst in the state of Nature But now poor Soul go not too far in searching others wayes Keep more at home unvail thy sad deceitful heart thou hast cause enough to lament and sadly bewail thy own miscarriages Is there not still rebelâ—ion harbours in thy breast O too too much many for rebelling against an earthly Prince go not unpunished but from whom dost thou revolt but from thy dear and loving father a tender hearted God who through riches of Grace looked upon thee had mercy on thee and owned thee in his dear Son the Son of his love what punishment mâ—yest thou not be thought worthy of that shouldest grieve the spirit of God who hath abounded thus in love and mercy unto thee Ah wretched soul when he hath hid it from thousands of others Surely had but the Lord been pleased to cause one of the least glimps of Glory to shine upon several of their rejected Souls they had exceeded thee in holiness of life sincerity of heart and all humble obedience they would not have had those daily failâ—ngs thou art attended with had but they tasted of that heavenly banquet that soul inriching treasure which is laid up in an eternity of Glory would they not more thirst and long O could they be satisfied without being swallowed up in Glory without that immediate possession that faith gives Heb. 11. 1. v. Would they see any thing to take delight in in this World below Christ would they not set the Lord ever before them and desire to be ever with him but what art thou and how far comest thou short in every duty but O my Lord in thee is my hope here is my comfort still for what am I without supports and supplies from thee I had fainted long ago hadst not thou by special grace upheld me and given in comforts from thy self Sure Lord it was from free love and thou hast said thy love inâ—ures for ever thou art God and therefore changeth not O therefore it is that I was not consumed long ago and since thy Grace dear Lord is still the same O let my Soul for ever trust in thee till thou shalt please to free me from this body of death in which I cannot serve thee without sin for when I would do good evil is present before me O but blessed be the Lord that there is a deliverance wrought and that by Jesus Christ and that in him I am not left without this blessed hope which being revealed in due time I shall be released and enter into my fathers joy O Heavenly joy indeed where thou shalt be for ever happy in the most glorious presence of thy Lord from whence nothing shall part thee and where thou shalt never sin more but be for ever singing HAL-LELUJAH'S to his holy Glorious Name for this then will I wait but Lord grant me help from us above to run with
King My musing such with which I would not part For all your mirth and pleasant melody Christs dearest love take away my heart In which lies Joy and true felicity Your company wherein you do delight Like to your self are made of earthly moulâ— Which will at length to feast the worms invite Then wheres your pleasures which so dear you holâ— My joys my comforts and my aim shall be To rest in Heaven to all Eternity There 's fellowship with holy Angels bright And Halâ—le-lujahs sing to the King of Kings There 's sweet Communion with the Saints in light When fire consumes your perishing earthly things The Lord feeding and keeping his Flock See how the Lord doth of his Flock take care And plenteously his Love to them doth share Reaching his arm of mercy them to guide And leading them fast by the Rivers side Thore doth them feed in pastures pleasantly And hiding them from Rage o' th enemy Now let thy heart with praises ever sing Even to thy Saviour Shepherd Lord and King Longings to be with Christ Sin sick am I And faâ—n would dye Reaching forth to Eternity I le leave the world with all my heart With it i 'me willing Lord to part To be with thee O Lord its best And in thine arms to be at rest Unto the world I â—ain would dye To live with thee Eternally Sweet Saviour then thou art gone before A place in Heaven to prepare Post Script of her own I know that my Redeemer liveth and that I shall see him with these eyes O that the time would come But I will wait upon the Lord the days of my appointed time till my change come FINIS The Contents 1. THe account of her early conversion 2. Of further discoveries of Christ 3. The longings of her Soul after Church Fellowship 4. Of Recording her experiences 5. The discoveries of Christ to her Soul when joyned to a Church in the Lords Supper 6. Sweet Discoveries of the love of God in Jesus Christ 7. Meditations upon her Saviours love 8. Meditations of Wisdom in imbracing the offer of Jesus Christ 9. Exhortations to her Brothers and Sisters 10. Meditations upon hearing the voice of Christ 11. Of heart examination 12. Meditations of being in Christ 13. Meditations of being the Servant of Christ 14. Of a new Heart 15. Of thirsting after assurance of heaven 16. Meditations of death 17. Of Communion of Saints 18. Meditations of the unchangeable love of God 19. Meditations on the 11th Chap. of Matthew 28 29 and 30. v. 20. Meditations on the great mistery of Godliness 21. Of the excellency of the knowledge of the mistery of Christ 22. God injoyed in mercies 23. Of self insufficiency 24. Of worldly honour 25. Meditations on the power of God God being her Father 26. Her further meditations of death 27. Meditations of a day of Tryal or preparation for sufferings 28. Sparks of Divine Love 29. Apraising Soul 30. Ahymne of free grace 31. A short dialogue between flesh and spirit 32. The Lord feeding and keeping his flock 33. Longings to be with Christ. ERRATA REader your Charity is desired in amending some little faults of the Printer the rest are these In the epistle Page 11. line 15. f. parting 's r. pantings p 15. l. 17. ad which runs f. their r. these p. 1. l. 2. for conversation r. convertion p. 11. l. 20. f. east r. cast p. 15. l. 19 f. this r. his p. 28. l. 6. f. son r. Soul p. 31. f. N. r. O p. 39. l. 9. f. ond read and l. 11. f. de r doc p 47. l. 15. f. truth read tush l. 26. f. as read at p. 49 l. 19 f but read both p. 59. l. 9. f. suffered r. suffer p. 63. l. 11. f. would r. will l. 15. f. ro r. to p. 68. l. 25. f his r. t is p. 79. l. 15. r. bring home p. 88. l. 15. f. received r. revealed p. 89. l. 4. f. it r. is p. 94. l. 10. f. lo r. ho p 103. l. 5. f. your read ours p. 110. l. 14. ad sealed p. 123. l. 15. f. a r and l. 27. ad to p. 131. l. 18. f. him r. bin p. 135. l. 6. f. receive r. rejoyce l. 10. f. any r. my l. 20. ad trial â— 22. f. any r. thy p. 137. l. 1. f. and r. is To be sold at the Black Spread-Eagle at the West End of Pauls