upon him my nature that he might become my Lord and King Saviour and Redeemer who brake the doors of Brass rescued me from the Rape of Hellish furies cast them out delivered my darling soul from the power of the Dog and barred the Gate that he could enter no more to stuff my thoughts with his detestable injections although he attempted a return Thou hast thrust fore at me oh mine enemy that I might fall but the Lord helped me many a time may I now say have these things afflicted me from my youth many a time have they afflicted me from my youth yet they have not prevailed against me The Plowers plowed upon my back they made long their furrows but the righteous Lord he hath cut asunder the cords of the weeked one I was brought low and the Lord helped me He hath delivered my soul from death mine eyes from tears and my feet from falling Oh Lord my God I will give thanks to thee for ever CHAP. V. Concluding the whole experiment with an account of the unconceivable sweetness of divine consolations the usual consequent of long and sort temptations a more then abundant reason to abide Gods leisure under the heavy load of dâ—sertions Of the cause of writing ANd now at last when the Lord my Lord of whom the Father said sit thou at my right hand until I make thy enemies thy foot-stoolâ— had set my soul at freedom by his mighty power he sent his blessed spirit the holy Ghost that most glorious self evidencing and sweet comforter whose sweetness no heart can conceive but he who hath tasted how good he is who shewed me from the Father and his blessed Son that all the miseries afore mentioned pressing me down were the delusions of Satan and whereas he intended to have made me a shame and reproach to all that should know or hear of my overthrow that now my God hath taken advantage of the greatness of my sins thereby to magnifie his mercy in pardoning thereof according to my cry in the day of my distress and that now I was of Abrahams Family numbred among the spiritual Children of Abraham a priviledge which I often especially under my troubles prized highly and desired earnestly to be partaker off The blessed spirit bearing witness of these things wrought in my soul such unconceiveable joy that in the words of Thomas I cryed out my Lord and my God so ravishing were the kisses of those divine lips of love that my heart was silled with joy unspeakable and glorious my mouth with laughter my body much weakened by the anguish and horror of my soul so that I kept my Chamber for many dayes together was now revived and my youth renewed as the Eagle that casteth her Beak so that I became as lightsome as if I had not known sorrow to the great admiration of my Friends who had known my long confinement to my Chamber by reason of sorrow and heavyness My heart my sorrowful heart of which I was wont to cry out None so fad none so disquieted as thou was now through the joy of the Lord quite altered The spirit of my God now covering me with the glorious robes of his Sons righteousness turned my mourning into dancing put off my Sackcloath and girded me with gladness gave me a garment of praise for the spirit of heavyness so that then and since being upheld by the same hand I could say I carry about me a chearful heart and a much more healthy body notwithstanding the great disappointments I in my worldly condition then met with and still lye under Being now enabled by faith to apprehend my self justified through the righteousness of God even the righteousness of Jesus Christ imputeth to poor sinners the guilt the obligation of my sins to punishment being taken away I can now through the tender mercy of God whereby the day spring from on high hath visited me comfortably give a challenge to Death and the Grave Oh Death where is thy sting oh Grave where is thy victory my dear Lord having ransomed me from the power and fear of the grave and helping me in despight of him that hath the power of death that is the Devil to look upon my self as one of those whom God the Father hath given to the Son as part of the travaile of his soul so that the Lord Christ delights in me as the gift of his Father and the purchase of his own bloud And my God loveth me with the same love wherewith he loveth his Son and all the promises of grace made to sinners in the holy word through Jesus Christ I have an interest in and expect to have fulfilled to me as far as it shall tend to his glory and my good He that gave me his Son will freely also give me all good things Well may I therefore take up the words of the Prophet Oh Lord I will praise thee for though thou wast angry with me thine anger is turned away and thou comfortedst me For the iniquity of my soul thou wast wroth with me and smotâ—st me but now thou hast healed me and restored comforts to me the Lord Jehovah is my strength and song he also is become my salâ—ation I waited patiently for the Lord and he encâ—â—ned his ear to me and heard my cry he drew my feet out of an horrible pit out of the miry clay and hath set me upon a Rock and established my goings What shall I render unto the Lord for all his benefits I will call upon him as long as I live I will pay my vows unto the Lord now in the presence of all his people When the Lord Jesus is pleased to go away to withdraw the comfortable warm beams of his love and presence from the sight and sence of his poor people Joh. 16.6 like the Apostles their hearts are filled with heavyness they think every day a week and every week a month and every month a year the time seemeth tedious till he return till he lifteth up the light of his countenance till he restores comforts to them like the mother of Sisera they are putting forth their heads crying why are his Chariot wheels so long in coming But oh that such would remember what I now find that it is expedient for them that he should sometimes go away from them withholding his consolations for the holy Ghost the Comforter shall one time or other come to such as wait for it with such joy and peace that passeth all understanding of eye ear and heart of man And then long time spent in waiting shall seem but a little moment Is 40 2. and they shall receive double pay for all the punishments of their iniquities The Children of this world in this are wiser in their generation then the Children of light no discouragement of wind or rain can make them forbear their seasons of sowing in hope nor can the interposition of many perillous months delay work a dissolution of the hope that
again endeavouring by his old way to carry on his former designs and as I have declared his fore-laying the way for the catching of poor sinners before sin committed I shall now speak a word or two of his methods and devices in the pursuing the servants of God after the Lord hath shewed great mercies and hath appeared unto them To the intent that I may further discover his wiles and temptations whose mallice is great against God and the Sons and Daughters of men but especially against the Saints and by reason of his great power being an Angel though of darkness he not only acts his own servants and slaves as he is the Prince of the air that ruleth in the Children of dissobedience but acteth upon Gods own Children and servants that fear the Lord. As I shall give you several instances as namely upon Jobes three friends though godly men how he did act them to have perswaded Job to confess himself an Hypocrite put it â—nto the heart of Judas to betray his Master â—eâ— and Peter 100 to perswade his Lord and Master that none of those things should beâ—â—ll him at Jerusalem which Christ himself had foretold should come to pass yea how did he prevail with the Scribes and pharisees to complot and agree with the Souldiers to say his Disciples came by night and stole him away endeavouring thereby to have concealed the Resurrection and so to have blasted the work of mans Redemption I shall now speak a word or two more of hingeneral practise upon the world for it is said the world lyeth in wickedness therefore must needs be acted by that wicked one who ruieth in the Children of disobedience that is upon the generality of the men of the world The gate of Heaven being strait and few of the Sons and Daughters of men go thither in comparison of the world God Almighty all along from the begining for the carrying on of his glory and building up his Church hath powred out his spirit upon the Sons of men making some Prophets and some Apostles and that upon the meanest of men as you see the Prophets Herdsmen and men of mean occupations and the Apostles Fisher men for you know it is said not many noble not many great nor many wise after the wisdome of the world for by such mean men the Lord doth make his glory and wisdom to be more conspicious when these that are illiterate and not bred up at the feat Gamaliel when such as these shall confound the wisdom of the world his glory shines more illusterously though without humanâ— learning for having received the wisdom of the spirit are made wise to salvation discoruing not only the misteries of mans redemption but their own particular salvation through Christ which the wisdom of the world knew not And so the Prophets and Apostles have had the honour of being Pen men of the Scripture by the holy Ghrist so that the words which they spake shall be the standing word by which the world shall be judged But such is the present condition of these times that the Lord hath given his spirit and excellent gifts to be improved for his glory O how duth the men of this world actâ—d by Satan being indeed his main master piece sets his own Instruments upon the servants of God by reproachful terms and all other ways of mischief and in a taunting deriding way of scorn crying our O you have the Spirit O you are Saints and you can preach Whereas surely it may be replyed unto them if they have not the spirit they are none of Christs and if none of his servants then you know what you are if not Saints then Davils and without holyness you shall never see the Kingdom of God And to others in a taunting manner you are Preachers surely if God hath given out such gifts though they do noâ— take upon them the ministry yet such gifts may be imployed to edification and to build up themselves and others in the faith of the Gospel why then should this be offensive doth not the Apostles say if any may hath a word of exhortation let him speak Suppose that God hath given such parts for from him cometh every good and perfect gift Will you reproach the spirit of the living God or obscure the graces of God O this indeed is a mighty Stratagem of Sathan whereby he doth much hinder the glory of God what if God hath given grace and gifts to mean Persons as mean as Fisher men I say to Glovers Shoomakers Taylors Weavers and other Tradesmen and why not as well as Fisher men Herds men and Tent-makers shall not their gifts be improved It is true the Prophets and Apostles had the spirit given them in great measure and shall not God give unto such as before mentioned in their measure Alas I would ask you by what spirit do these men act who are so industerous to improve all their knowledge and utmost endeavors to walk exactly in all the Commandments of God having respect thereunto shall such be reproached But it may be objected that these men have not humanâ— learning they have not been at the Universities well then It is grace that makes a man more excellent then his Neighbour I do not speak against humanâ— learning it may be a good handmaid to Divinity but grace must be in the Chayre she must be Mistriss grace is the glorious Ornament that makes the poor Saints shine in their conversations and glorifie their Father which is in Heaven when the men of great humanâ— learning oftentimes drown themselves in the ways of the world and make their condemnation to be the greater by it And by their scandelous lives bring dishonour to God and the Gospel of Jesus Christ but the day draweth near when the Dragon Beast and false Prophet with the Locusts of Hell shall be bound up together and cast into that fire which burneth with fire brimstone for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it when the feet of him shall be beautiful upon the mountains that publisheth peace and salvation saying unto Zyon thy God reigneth then shall the voice of thy watchmen be heard and lift up their voice and shout together for they shall see him eye to eye when the Lord shall give deliverance to Zyon I shall give you one instance more and that is of my self sines the Lord came into my soul witnessing he had given me eternal sife as I have declared and set forth in my blesphemous thoughts and when we shall take in hand the performance of the duties of Gods worship as singing of Psalms reading the word and in Prayer when we give the Lord his glorious titles he is ready to thrust the contrary unto our hearts and plays the Devil indeed to contradict what we say and by the assistance of that unregenerate proceeding lines He I say Sathan hath so endeavoured to do me all the mischief that possible he could not leaving a stone unturned
why say you my way is hidden from the Lord and my judgement passed over of my God know you not or have you not heard that the everlasting God the Lords of the ends of the Earth is neither weary nor fainteth but giveth strength to him that fainteth the young men shall faint and be weary but they that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength and lift up their wings as the Eagle they shall run and not faint In that day when the Mountains of the Lords house shall be established above the Mountains of the Earth for which glorious day I shall not cease to pray for O thou eternal being of beings whose name is Jehovah the Lord of Hosts who hast made the Heavens the earth the great sea and all the Creatures therein for the manifesting of thy blessed self in thine excellency that so by the displaying of thy glorious attributes we might know thy power wisdom and goodness and fear thy great and glorious name and truly Lord thou hadst done a most sweet work in the day wherein thou beheldst the works of thy hands and said they were very good O the great engagements of love and obedience thou hast laid upon us in that day when thou hadst advanced us and made us not only Lords of the works of thine hands and for our use putting all things in subjection under our feet but making us after thine own Image in righteousness and holiness whereby thou didst enable us to the performance of worship and obedience thou requirest at our hands But O the great dishonour and Rebellion we acted against thee our Creator in breaking thy holy Law which thou gavest us to keep as the Tryal of our obedience and by giving more credit unto Sathan in believing him and what he said then the threatnings of thee our God and therefore O Lord how righteous wast thou in thy judgements upon them and us their posterity in delivering us into the hands of Satan so that we who came from their loins came so deformed with that cursed Image of Satan that we are born thine enemies children of wrath and heirs of vengeance and bringing upon our selves a woful necessity of sinning against thee O Lord how justly mightest thou laid upon our first Parents and we their posterity to have born thy righteous punishments for ever without Redemption But blessed Lord thou didst in judgement remember mercy in condescending to treat with our Parents letting out that gratious promise That the seed of the woman should break the serpents head revealing mercy by a second Adam to come and so entring into a new covenant not of works but of grace that believing in him we should have eternal Life O gratious Father how didst thou magnifie thy mercy over the works of thine hands and didst do a work more wonderful then the Creation in giving the eternal word the brightness of thy glory the express Image of thy self thine only begotten Son by an eternal generation to take upon him the nature of man and to be born of the blessed Virgin that so he might by an Hupostatical union joy the humanity to the diety that so he might be enabled to undergo the work of mans Redemption a work so wonderful that all the Angels could not have devised and into which they pry into with admiration that thereby he might make such an attonement that might satisfie for the sins of man to the utmost and that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have Eternal Life And now dear Father thou hast given us the word of reconciliation the witness of thy truth wherein thou hast made known to us that thou hast given us eternal Life by Jesus Christ that immaculate Lamb of God who hath laid down his Life upon the Cross to answer thy justice and by his sufferings merits and Righteousness Resurrection from Death to Life hath cancelled the Law of condemnation taking down the wall of partition and making admission for sinners to come to the Throne of Grace with boldness And now hast given us pretious promises that what we ask in the name of thy son shall be done for us And now dear Father of Heaven what was I or my Fathers family but a sinful generation of men That thou shouldst choose me to salvation before the world was and in due time to call me to the knowledge of this mistery of mans Redemption and by the witness of thy word and blessed spirit should seal unto me the pardon of sin in the day when thou deliveredst me out of the hands of that roaring Lyon And after my seeking thy face for many years with doubtings and fears under many desertions and dreadful temptations and many various dispensations which thou most blessed God hast turned all to my advantage breaking into my Soul with so much love that I know not whom of the sons of men did ever receive a greater mercy And now Lord of thy goodness hast called me from the ways of the world to be of the number of those whom thou hast chosen to eternal Life and therefore having tasted so abundantly of thy strange Love a Love to admiration a Love we are not able to apprehend in the acknowledgement whereof and that I might declare what a God thou art according to mine engagement and that I might exalt thy glorious name and declare thy loving kindness to me to the ends of the earth have made bold to present these lines to the publick view for the magnifying of thy mercies to me the worst of the sons of men and the greatest of sinners if thou shouldest charge my sins upon me and be thou pleased to accept of what I have written in good part and let thy blessing so go along with it that the delusions methods devices and temptationt of Sathan that old cunning Serpent may be so discovered to poor souls that lye under his cruelty may receive advantage thereby When they shall read this small discourse of thy gratious actings with me O let thy blessing be upon iâ— that they may receive comfort thereby that thy goodness may be magnâ—fied which thou knowest Lord to be the only cause I have given it to the publick view who never thought my namâ— should have appeared in such a way And now dear Father I humbly beseech thee manifest thy glorious Gospel of thy Son to the ends of the Earth that all Nations may know thou art a God through Jesus Christ forgiving iniquity transgression and sin and to that end I humbly beseech thee fulfill thy word in pouring out thy indignation upon that whore of Babylon who hath dyed her garments red in the blood of the Saints that we may say Babylon Babylon is fallen and upon all the powers that oppose the righteous Scepter of thy Son the Gospel whom thou hast made King of Kings and Lord of Lords and hast given him the Heathen for his inheritance and the utmost ends of the earth for his possession who