to_o submit_v have_v not_o any_o objection_n against_o it_o for_o it_o comprehend_v all_o sort_n of_o sinner_n although_o never_o so_o great_a yet_o whosoever_o believe_v in_o this_o son_n of_o god_n shall_v enjoy_v such_o a_o sweet_a promise_n no_o less_o than_o eternal_a life_n in_o the_o 16._o verse_n god_n so_o love_v the_o world_n that_o he_o give_v his_o only_a beget_v son_n that_o whosoever_o believe_v in_o he_o shall_v not_o perish_v but_o have_v everlasting_a life_n and_o in_o act_n 10.43_o that_o whosoever_o believe_v in_o he_o shall_v receive_v remission_n of_o sin_n then_o in_o gal._n 2.20_o i_o live_v by_o the_o faith_n of_o the_o son_n of_o god_n who_o love_v i_o and_o give_v himself_o for_o i_o and_o christ_n jesus_n die_v for_o sinner_n of_o who_o i_o be_o chief_a see_v this_o application_n of_o christ_n that_o paul_n make_v in_o particular_a to_o himself_o who_o be_v a_o very_a great_a sinner_n in_o do_v much_o embolden_v i_o in_o the_o like_a rom._n 5.8,9_o god_n commend_v his_o love_n towards_o we_o in_o that_o while_o we_o be_v yet_o sinner_n christ_n die_v for_o the_o ungodly_a and_o i_o be_v ungodly_a therefore_o i_o believe_v christ_n dye_v for_o i_o and_o when_o we_o be_v yet_o without_o strength_n in_o due_a time_n christ_n die_v for_o sinner_n i_o be_o a_o sinner_n and_o therefore_o christ_n die_v for_o i_o and_o he_o be_v reconcile_v unto_o we_o while_o we_o be_v enemy_n for_o the_o lord_n to_o be_v thus_o reconoiled_a to_o ungodly_a to_o sinner_n to_o enemy_n this_o be_v more_o love_n indeed_o than_o ever_o i_o expect_v especial_o that_o the_o lord_n will_v have_v be_v half_o so_o gracious_a to_o i_o this_o turn_v all_o my_o former_a sorrow_n into_o joy_n cry_v out_o what_o shall_v i_o render_v unto_o the_o lord_n for_o all_o his_o benefit_n that_o he_o have_v bestow_v upon_o i_o for_o what_o be_v i_o or_o any_o of_o my_o father_n house_n that_o the_o lord_n shall_v be_v so_o merciful_a unto_o i_o and_o i_o have_v these_o testimonis_fw-la of_o my_o real_a conversion_n to_o god_n 1._o the_o testimony_n of_o his_o spirit_n adopt_v i_o to_o be_v his_o child_n gal._n 3.4,5_o god_n send_v forth_o his_o son_n to_o redeem_v those_o that_o be_v under_o the_o law_n that_o they_o may_v receive_v the_o adoption_n of_o son_n and_o because_o you_o be_v son_n god_n have_v send_v forth_o the_o spirit_n of_o his_o son_n into_o your_o heart_n cry_v abba_n father_n wherefore_o thou_o be_v no_o more_o a_o servant_n but_o a_o son_n i_o be_v once_o under_o the_o law_n dead_a i_o be_o now_o by_o christ_n redeem_v and_o i_o bless_v god_n for_o this_o precious_a privilege_n that_o i_o can_v call_v god_n my_o father_n 2._o christ_n hathfulfil_v the_o law_n therefore_o i_o shall_v not_o be_v condemn_v by_o the_o law_n but_o justify_v by_o jesus_n christ_n without_o the_o deed_n of_o the_o law_n there_o be_v a_o time_n when_o i_o be_v dead_a in_o sin_n and_o in_o ungodliness_n be_v alienate_v from_o the_o commonwealth_n of_o israel_n and_o a_o stranger_n to_o the_o covenant_n of_o grace_n have_v no_o hope_n and_o without_o god_n in_o the_o world_n but_o be_v make_v alive_a by_o jesus_n christ_n i_o see_v my_o sin_n do_v away_o and_o do_v believe_v that_o christ_n have_v bear_v on_o his_o body_n all_o my_o sin_n he_o be_v bruise_v for_o our_o transgression_n isa_n 53._o and_o the_o lord_n lay_v on_o he_o the_o iniquity_n of_o we_o all_o by_o who_o stripe_n we_o be_v heal_v so_o that_o i_o do_v believe_v that_o by_o one_o offering_n he_o have_v perfect_v for_o ever_o all_o those_o that_o be_v sanctify_v heb._n 10._o and_o that_o christ_n jesus_n be_v become_v a_o full_a and_o perfect_a satisfaction_n for_o my_o sin_n and_o that_o the_o lord_n be_v well_o please_v with_o and_o content_v in_o this_o satisfaction_n mat._n 3._o that_o be_v my_o well-beloved_a son_n in_o who_o i_o be_o well_o please_v 3._o i_o be_o in_o and_o through_o god_n free_a grace_n what_o i_o be_o not_o for_o any_o thing_n in_o i_o or_o that_o i_o can_v do_v but_o as_o in_o titus_n 4.5_o we_o ourselves_o be_v sometime_o foolish_a disobedient_a serve_v divers_a lust_n but_o when_o the_o kindness_n and_o love_n of_o god_n our_o saviour_n appear_v towards_o man_n not_o by_o work_n of_o righteousness_n which_o we_o have_v do_v but_o according_a to_o his_o mercy_n he_o save_v we_o that_o be_v justify_v free_o by_o his_o grace_n we_o shall_v be_v make_v heir_n according_a to_o the_o hope_n of_o eternal_a life_n and_o in_o another_o place_n 1_o tim._n 1.9_o who_o have_v save_v we_o and_o call_v we_o with_o a_o holy_a call_n not_o according_a to_o our_o work_n but_o according_a to_o his_o own_o purpose_n and_o grace_n in_o christ_n jesus_n before_o the_o world_n begin_v therefore_o i_o believe_v that_o god_n the_o father_n love_v i_o in_o jesus_n christ_n 1_o john_n 4.19_o we_o love_v he_o because_o he_o love_v we_o first_o john_n 14.14_o you_o have_v not_o choose_v i_o but_o i_o have_v choose_v you_o that_o you_o shall_v bring_v forth_o much_o fruit_n isa_n 43.25_o ay_o even_o i_o be_o he_o that_o blot_v out_o all_o thy_o transgression_n for_o my_o own_o sake_n and_o will_v not_o remember_v thy_o iniquity_n and_o he_o will_v have_v mercy_n even_o because_o he_o will_v have_v mercy_n the_o blood_n of_o jesus_n christ_n cleanse_v we_o from_o all_o sin_n i_o plain_o see_v it_o be_v the_o lord_n do_n and_o it_o be_v marvellous_a in_o my_o eye_n as_o in_o ephes_n 2._o you_o who_o be_v dead_a in_o trespass_n and_o sin_n have_v he_o quicken_v together_o with_o he_o by_o grace_n you_o be_v save_v and_o that_o not_o of_o yourselves_o it_o be_v the_o gift_n of_o god_n i_o find_v as_o christ_n jesus_n be_v a_o free_a gift_n to_o i_o and_o for_o i_o so_o be_v this_o save_a grace_n of_o faith_n a_o free_a gift_n also_o from_o the_o lord_n to_o my_o soul_n rom._n 3.24_o be_v justify_v free_o by_o his_o grace_n through_o the_o redemption_n that_o be_v in_o christ_n jesus_n to_o declare_v his_o righteousness_n for_o the_o remission_n of_o sin_n that_o he_o may_v be_v just_a and_o the_o justifier_n of_o he_o that_o believe_v in_o jesus_n so_o that_o all_o boast_n of_o the_o creature_n be_v exclude_v by_o the_o law_n of_o faith_n as_o by_o the_o disobedience_n of_o one_o many_o be_v make_v sinner_n so_o by_o the_o obedience_n of_o one_o shall_v many_o be_v make_v righteous_a 4._o i_o believe_v that_o as_o there_o be_v no_o sin_n find_v in_o christ_n and_o yet_o a_o sinner_n by_o imputation_n so_o i_o be_v a_o sinner_n indeed_o shall_v be_v make_v righteous_a by_o god_n imputation_n for_o it_o please_v god_n to_o make_v he_o become_v sin_n for_o we_o who_o know_v no_o sin_n that_o we_o may_v be_v make_v the_o righteousness_n of_o god_n in_o he_o 5._o i_o have_v the_o seal_n of_o the_o spirit_n as_o paul_n say_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n bear_v witness_n with_o our_o spirit_n that_o we_o be_v the_o child_n of_o god_n and_o if_o child_n than_o heir_n of_o god_n and_o joint_a heir_n with_o christ_n in_o this_o our_o freedom_n 6._o i_o do_v believe_v that_o god_n the_o father_n love_v i_o and_o elect_v i_o for_o the_o son_n to_o redeem_v and_o that_o jesus_n christ_n love_v i_o as_o give_v of_o the_o father_n for_o he_o to_o redeem_v and_o manifest_v it_o to_o i_o and_o the_o holy_a ghost_n love_v i_o as_o elect_v of_o the_o father_n and_o redeem_v by_o the_o son_n and_o do_v evidence_n it_o in_o i_o which_o be_v the_o earnest_n of_o my_o inheritance_n and_o there_o be_v a_o expression_n in_o john_n 3._o last_o he_o that_o believe_v in_o the_o son_n have_v everlasting_a life_n 7._o i_o do_v believe_v that_o i_o have_v everlasting_a life_n already_o in_o possession_n 1._o by_o the_o promise_n fear_v not_o little_a flock_n for_o it_o be_v your_o father_n good_a pleasure_n to_o give_v you_o a_o kingdom_n 2._o in_o the_o first_o fruit_n for_o what_o be_v heaven_n hereafter_o but_o a_o more_o full_a enjoyment_n of_o what_o be_v begin_v here_o what_o we_o receive_v now_o be_v but_o a_o taste_n of_o what_o we_o shall_v receive_v as_o 1_o john_n 4.2_o belove_a now_o be_v we_o the_o son_n of_o god_n and_o it_o do_v not_o yet_o appear_v what_o we_o shall_v be_v but_o we_o know_v that_o when_o we_o shall_v appear_v we_o shall_v be_v like_o he_o for_o we_o shall_v see_v he_o as_o he_o be_v 3._o i_o do_v enjoy_v it_o by_o my_o head_n christ_n who_o have_v take_v full_a possession_n of_o it_o already_o for_o i_o therefore_o see_v i_o be_o not_o my_o own_o i_o be_o buy_v with_o a_o price_n therefore_o i_o desire_v to_o glorify_v god_n with_o my_o soul_n and_o body_n which_o
account_n of_o the_o wonâ—derful_a deal_n of_o the_o almighty_a with_o my_o unworthy_a self_n to_o give_v a_o formal_a account_n of_o my_o life_n will_v be_v tedious_a though_o i_o may_v safe_o say_v in_o every_o year_n since_o i_o can_v remember_v i_o have_v be_v insicht_v with_o for_o many_o and_o such_o remarkable_a enpericace_n as_o may_v make_v some_o rather_o admire_v than_o believe_v they_o and_o first_o when_o i_o be_v a_o schoolboy_n at_o malden_n in_o essex_n i_o begin_v to_o be_v rouse_v by_o two_o man_n mr._n will-fenner_n and_o mr._n stephen_n martial_n about_o the_o ten_o year_n of_o my_o age_n for_o before_o that_o i_o be_v i_o know_v not_o what_o though_o i_o be_v keep_v to_o read_v every_o day_n be_v catechise_v with_o other_o good_a order_n but_o then_o hear_v mr._n fenner_n full_a of_o zeal_n and_o see_v he_o thunder_v about_o and_o beat_v the_o palpit_n i_o be_v amaze_v and_o think_v he_o be_v mad_a wonder_v what_o he_o meanâ—…_n now_o whilst_o i_o be_v gaze_v upon_o he_o i_o be_v sudden_o strike_v and_o perceive_v it_o be_v we_o that_o be_v mad_a which_o make_v he_o seem_v to_o be_v so_o oh_o say_v he_o you_o knotty_a rugged_a proud_a piece_n of_o flesh_n you_o stony_a rocky_a flinty_a hard_a heart_n what_o will_v you_o do_v 〈◊〉_d you_o be_v roar_v in_o hell_n among_o the_o damn_a etc._n etc._n this_o make_v i_o at_o first_o astonish_v and_o run_v so_o oft_v in_o my_o mind_n afterward_o that_o i_o begin_v to_o be_v trouble_v sear_a and_o affright_v and_o for_o fear_n of_o go_v to_o hell_n i_o fall_v to_o pray_v hear_v sermon_n read_v the_o scripture_n morning_n and_o evening_n though_o i_o understand_v little_a but_o only_o think_v the_o bare_a read_v sufficient_a i_o learn_v to_o pray_v first_o out_o of_o book_n and_o get_v all_o the_o grace_n so_o call_v by_o heart_n and_o after_o family_n prayer_n i_o be_v every_o night_n afraid_a the_o devil_n will_v carry_v i_o away_o to_o hell_n if_o i_o do_v not_o say_v my_o prayer_n our_o father_n etc._n etc._n and_o i_o believe_v in_o god_n etc._n etc._n with_o the_o ten_o commandment_n and_o my_o little_a catechism_n of_o dr._n hall_n which_o i_o have_v learn_v and_o this_o i_o do_v due_o every_o night_n before_o i_o dare_v sleep_v which_o i_o think_v a_o sufficient_a defence_n to_o preserve_v i_o from_o the_o devil_n be_v tear_v i_o in_o piece_n before_o morning_n yet_o sometime_o when_o i_o be_v sleepy_a to_o make_v more_o haste_n i_o will_v say_v some_o of_o they_o in_o the_o chimney-corner_n whilst_o i_o be_v undress_v i_o think_v all_o be_v well_o enough_o so_o it_o be_v but_o do_v yea_o when_o i_o be_v extreme_o surprise_v with_o fear_n of_o the_o devil_n be_v apt_a to_o fancy_v any_o thing_n to_o be_v he_o i_o often_o say_v all_o my_o prayer_n and_o commandment_n twice_o over_o suspect_v i_o have_v not_o say_v they_o well_o enough_o or_o have_v for_o haste_n leave_v out_o some_o of_o they_o and_o the_o like_a and_o thus_o as_o the_o apostle_n say_v when_o i_o be_v a_o child_n i_o do_v childish_a thing_n and_o think_v all_o this_o be_v very_o well_o and_o ofttimes_o i_o will_v get_v one_o of_o my_o playfellow_n to_o walk_v alone_o with_o i_o and_o will_v tell_v he_o of_o sin_n and_o hell_n and_o such_o matter_n for_o they_o run_v always_o in_o my_o mind_n and_o i_o be_v in_o a_o desperate_a fear_n at_o length_n go_v to_o hear_v mr._n martial_n whilst_o i_o be_v nod_v and_o almost_o asleep_a his_o powerful_a voice_n awaken_v i_o thunder_v in_o my_o ear_n the_o dreadful_a danger_n of_o such_o as_o be_v drowsy_a and_o sleep_v and_o slumber_v away_o their_o salvation_n which_o i_o think_v be_v speak_v direct_o to_o i_o and_o have_v such_o prevalency_n upon_o i_o that_o i_o start_v up_o with_o a_o ache_a heart_n be_v much_o terrify_v at_o his_o word_n which_o he_o still_o pursue_v and_o wound_v i_o to_o the_o heart_n when_o he_o tell_v we_o that_o when_o time_n be_v past_a it_o can_v never_o be_v recall_v again_o and_o that_o there_o be_v no_o other_o way_n but_o to_o double_v our_o diligence_n and_o redeem_v the_o time_n we_o have_v lose_v by_o make_v more_o haste_n and_o take_v more_o care_n and_o pain_n or_o else_o we_o shall_v be_v utter_o lose_v and_o undo_v this_o touch_v i_o sufficient_o so_o that_o i_o can_v not_o forbear_v weep_v extreme_o after_o sermon_n i_o go_v home_o and_o sit_v alone_o i_o fall_v to_o cry_v and_o complain_v that_o i_o have_v lose_v my_o time_n take_v up_o a_o resolution_n never_o to_o sleep_v at_o church_n again_o and_o i_o think_v i_o have_v keep_v that_o solemn_a covenant_n to_o this_o very_a day_n after_o this_o i_o be_v not_o content_a with_o my_o former_a customary_a duty_n for_o now_o i_o must_v double_v they_o and_o do_v more_o than_o before_o wherefore_o i_o resolve_v to_o write_v down_o the_o sermous_n i_o hear_v as_o well_o as_o i_o can_v but_o have_v little_a skill_n to_o write_v fast_o or_o orderly_o i_o ever_o observe_v the_o doctrine_n reason_n and_o head_n of_o the_o use_v which_o i_o get_v by_o heart_n repeat_v the_o morning_n sermon_n at_o noon_n and_o the_o evening_n sermon_n at_o night_n so_o that_o i_o can_v the_o readily_o answer_v my_o father_n when_o he_o examine_v i_o and_o then_o i_o learn_v out_o of_o a_o book_n a_o prayer_n for_o morning_n and_o another_o for_o evening_n this_o course_n i_o continue_v for_o nine_o or_o ten_o year_n together_o so_o that_o at_o length_n i_o attain_v to_o repeat_v to_o myself_o the_o substance_n of_o some_o sermon_n which_o i_o have_v hear_v seven_o or_o eight_o year_n before_o and_o the_o lord_n lead_v i_o on_o in_o this_o orderly_a way_n i_o know_v not_o how_o without_o the_o advice_n or_o direction_n of_o any_o person_n upon_o earth_n whereby_o i_o hope_v to_o work_v out_o my_o salvation_n and_o redeem_v my_o time_n but_o this_o i_o must_v say_v from_o this_o form_n i_o learn_v much_o of_o god_n and_o goodness_n and_o what_o i_o do_v at_o first_o for_o fear_n of_o hell_n at_o last_o i_o perform_v out_o of_o love_n to_o heaven_n yea_o out_o of_o love_n to_o god_n and_o christ_n as_o if_o it_o be_v without_o heaven_n i_o use_v this_o method_n some_o year_n after_o i_o come_v to_o the_o university_n of_o cambridg_n whereby_o i_o be_v enable_v to_o recollect_v several_a man_n sermon_n 10_o year_n after_o they_o be_v preach_v and_o likewise_o with_o god_n assistance_n to_o preach_v myself_o at_o 18._o or_o 19_o year_n of_o age_n to_o the_o great_a wonder_n of_o many_o thus_o you_o hear_v how_o formal_a i_o be_v and_o i_o must_v needs_o confess_v it_o be_v more_o out_o of_o fear_n than_o love_v that_o i_o maintain_v this_o strictness_n in_o the_o duty_n of_o religion_n but_o not_o long_o after_o i_o be_v further_o awaken_v by_o my_o own_o father_n mr._n n._n r._n minister_n in_o essex_n who_o preach_v upon_o the_o good_a samaritan_n and_o show_v christ_n compassion_n to_o wound_a soul_n he_o in_o reproof_n of_o sinner_n declare_v that_o they_o be_v more_o guilty_a than_o the_o hard-hearted_a jew_n that_o they_o crucify_v christ_n afresh_o and_o have_v no_o compassion_n on_o he_o now_o he_o be_v in_o glory_n but_o spit_v on_o he_o and_o make_v he_o suffer_v and_o that_o his_o blood_n will_v rise_v up_o in_o judgement_n against_o they_o for_o if_o abel_n a_o mere_a man_n do_v so_o much_o more_o he_o and_o if_o david_n pray_v to_o be_v deliver_v from_o blood_n guiltiness_n how_o ought_v we_o to_o beg_v of_o god_n to_o be_v free_v from_o be_v guilty_a of_o the_o precious_a blood_n of_o the_o son_n of_o god_n and_o saviour_n of_o the_o world_n this_o he_o preach_v and_o press_v so_o powerful_o that_o i_o be_v throw_v into_o a_o tremble_a as_o lie_v under_o the_o guilt_n of_o christ_n blood_n and_o be_v long_o perplex_v with_o the_o horror_n thereof_o one_o remarkable_a passage_n i_o must_v never_o forget_v which_o happen_v in_o my_o youth_n that_o be_v one_o time_n play_v and_o run_v about_o my_o father_n house_n with_o my_o other_o companion_n i_o know_v not_o upon_o what_o occaon_n i_o utter_v vain_a word_n cry_v o_o lord_n which_o we_o be_v not_o suffer_v to_o do_v whereupon_o my_o heart_n be_v instant_o smite_v and_o i_o be_v sudden_o set_v a_o run_v by_o i_o know_v not_o what_o power_n or_o spirit_n as_o if_o i_o have_v be_v possess_v and_o can_v not_o possible_o stay_v myself_o till_o i_o be_v carry_v with_o much_o violence_n to_o a_o little_a gate_n way_n where_o to_o my_o apprehension_n i_o perceive_v as_o plain_o as_o ere_o i_o see_v any_o thing_n by_o the_o sunshine_n a_o naked_a sword_n glitter_v with_o a_o sharp_a edge_n which_o take_v up_o the_o whole_a space_n
gracious_a than_o great_a and_o have_v rather_o be_v the_o holy_a man_n upon_o earth_n than_o the_o most_o learned_a the_o most_o famous_a or_o the_o most_o prosperous_a his_o joy_n be_v change_v he_o now_o rejoice_v in_o the_o way_n of_o god_n testimony_n more_o than_o in_o all_o riches_n he_o delight_v in_o the_o law_n of_o the_o lord_n of_o which_o he_o former_o have_v little_a savour_n he_o have_v no_o such_o joy_n as_o in_o the_o thought_n of_o christ_n and_o fruition_n of_o his_o company_n forever_o his_o ear_n and_o fear_n be_v alter_v he_o be_v once_o careful_a about_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o life_n but_o now_o his_o great_a solicitude_n be_v how_o to_o secure_v his_o soul_n and_o everlasting_a concern_v he_o use_v to_o fear_v nothing_o so_o much_o as_o the_o loss_n of_o his_o estate_n reputation_n friend_n or_o pleasure_n nothing_o sound_v so_o terrible_a to_o he_o as_o pain_n poverty_n or_o disgrace_n now_o these_o be_v little_a to_o he_o in_o comparison_n with_o the_o dishonour_n and_o displeasure_n of_o god_n it_o pierce_v his_o heart_n to_o think_v of_o lose_v god_n favour_n or_o of_o be_v part_v from_o his_o bless_a saviour_n his_o love_n run_v a_o new_a course_n and_o he_o like_o the_o ancient_a father_n can_v scarce_o find_v word_n sweet_a enough_o to_o express_v his_o affection_n to_o his_o well_o belove_a jesus_n let_v i_o see_v thou_o o_o light_n of_o my_o eye_n come_v o_o thou_o joy_v of_o my_o spirit_n let_v i_o behold_v thou_o o_o the_o gladness_n of_o my_o heart_n let_v i_o love_v thou_o o_o light_n of_o my_o soul_n appear_v unto_o i_o o_o my_o chief_a delight_n my_o sweet_a comforter_n o_o my_o god_n my_o life_n &_o the_o whole_a glory_n of_o my_o soul_n let_v i_o find_v thou_o o_o desire_n of_o my_o heart_n let_v i_o hold_v thou_o o_o love_n of_o my_o soul_n let_v i_o embrace_v thou_o and_o possess_v thou_o o_o heavenly_a bridegroom_n his_o sorrow_n have_v now_o a_o vent_n by_o the_o view_n of_o his_o sin_n the_o sight_n of_o a_o crucify_a christ_n which_o do_v scarce_o move_v he_o before_o how_o much_o do_v 〈◊〉_d affect_v his_o heart_n his_o hatred_n boil_v his_o anger_n 〈◊〉_d against_o sin_n all_o the_o faculty_n and_o member_n of_o his_o soul_n and_o body_n that_o be_v former_o instrument_n of_o sin_n be_v now_o become_v the_o holy_a utensil_n of_o christ_n live_a temple_n that_o eye_n which_o be_v once_o wander_v wanton_a haughty_a and_o cavetous_a be_v now_o employ_v as_o ave-mary_n weep_v over_o his_o sin_n in_o behold_v god_n in_o his_o work_n in_o read_v his_o word_n in_o search_v for_o object_n of_o charity_n and_o mercy_n and_o seek_v all_o opportunity_n to_o do_v he_o service_n that_o ear_n that_o be_v open_v to_o satan_n call_n and_o like_o a_o vitiate_a appetite_n relish_v nothing_o better_a than_o filthy_a or_o at_o least_o srothy_a unprofitable_a discourse_n and_o the_o laughter_n of_o fool_n be_v now_o bear_v to_o hear_v the_o sweet_a voice_n of_o jesus_n and_o be_v open_a to_o his_o teach_n it_o now_o say_v speak_v lord_n for_o thy_o servant_n hear_v and_o wait_v for_o his_o word_n as_o the_o rain_n which_o be_v sweet_a to_o he_o than_o the_o honey_n and_o the_o hovey_n comb_n or_o his_o appoint_a food_n that_o head_n which_o be_v fill_v with_o carnal_a contrivance_n and_o design_n be_v now_o employ_v in_o matter_n of_o great_a concern_n and_o study_n how_o it_o may_v perform_v the_o will_n of_o god_n his_o thought_n be_v now_o more_o intent_n about_o his_o duty_n than_o his_o gain_n and_o his_o principal_a business_n be_v how_o be_v may_v please_v god_n and_o avoid_v sin_n his_o heart_n which_o be_v full_a of_o pollution_n and_o defilement_n be_v now_o become_v a_o altar_n of_o divine_a incense_n where_o the_o fire_n of_o celestial_a love_n be_v continual_o burn_v and_o from_o whence_o the_o daily_a sacrifice_n of_o prayer_n and_o praise_n and_o the_o sweet_a perfume_n of_o holy_a desire_n ejaculation_n and_o soliloquy_n be_v constant_o ascend_v his_o mouth_n be_v become_v a_o well_o spring_n of_o life_n his_o tongue_n be_v as_o choice_a silver_n &_o his_o lip_n feed_v many_o now_o the_o salt_n of_o heavenly_a grace_n have_v season_v his_o speech_n and_o purge_v out_o all_o its_o corruption_n have_v cleanse_v it_o from_o its_o former_a filthy_a communication_n flatery_a boast_v rail_a lie_a swear_v backbiting_a which_o once_o issue_v out_o like_a flash_n of_o infornal_a fire_n from_o the_o hell_n that_o be_v in_o his_o heart_n his_o throat_n that_o be_v once_o a_o open_a sepulchre_n now_o send_v forth_o the_o sweet_a breath_n of_o prayer_n and_o holy_a discourse_n and_o the_o man_n speak_v in_o another_o tongue_n even_o the_o language_n of_o canaan_n and_o be_v never_o so_o well_o please_v as_o when_o talk_v of_o god_n christ_n and_o the_o glorious_a thing_n of_o another_o world_n his_o â—…outh_n bring_v forth_o wisdom_n and_o his_o tongue_n be_v become_v the_o silver_n trumpet_n of_o his_o maker_n praise_n and_o glory_n to_o conlude_v his_o conversation_n be_v in_o heaven_n and_o the_o new_a man_n take_v a_o new_a course_n in_o his_o life_n and_o practice_n when_o god_n have_v give_v he_o the_o new_a heart_n and_o write_v his_o law_n in_o his_o mind_n he_o forthwith_o walk_v in_o his_o statute_n and_o keep_v his_o judgement_n and_o though_o sin_n like_o a_o wearisome_a and_o unwelcome_a guest_n god_n know_v dwell_v in_o he_o yet_o it_o have_v no_o more_o dominion_n over_o he_o he_o have_v his_o fruit_n unto_o holinese_n and_o though_o he_o have_v many_o a_o fall_n yet_o the_o law_n and_o life_n of_o jesus_n be_v his_o rule_n and_o he_o have_v a_o unfeigned_a respect_n to_o all_o god_n commandment_n and_o keep_v a_o good_a conscience_n willing_a in_o all_o thing_n to_o live_v honest_o and_o without_o offence_n towards_o god_n and_o men._n in_o such_o a_o state_n as_o this_o no_o doubt_n be_v those_o eminent_a christian_n who_o make_v the_o follow_v solemn_a declaration_n of_o the_o gracious_a experience_n which_o they_o have_v of_o the_o exceed_a love_n &_o favour_n of_o god_n to_o their_o soul_n in_o support_v they_o under_o their_o doubt_n and_o difficulty_n and_o afterward_o confirm_v their_o mind_n in_o the_o good_a way_n of_o the_o lord_n they_o have_v find_v the_o lord_n to_o be_v merciful_a and_o full_a of_o goodness_n compassion_n and_o truth_n and_o therefore_o think_v that_o they_o ought_v with_o their_o mouth_n to_o show_v forth_o his_o praise_n both_o to_o stir_v up_o they_o to_o join_v with_o they_o therein_o and_o likewise_o to_o encourage_v poor_a distress_a disconsolate_a christian_n to_o put_v their_o trust_n in_o the_o almighty_a since_o if_o they_o persevere_v sincere_o in_o seek_v his_o face_n he_o will_v certain_o at_o length_n discover_v himself_o unto_o they_o and_o fill_v their_o heart_n with_o joy_n and_o gladness_n and_o it_o may_v be_v reasonable_o hope_v that_o these_o heavenly_a experience_n will_v be_v very_o effectual_a and_o conducive_a thereunto_o since_o they_o consist_v of_o such_o variety_n of_o trial_n temptation_n and_o exercise_n of_o spirit_n that_o we_o can_v scarce_o suppose_v but_o the_o most_o disquiet_v despair_v soul_n way_n here_o meet_v with_o case_n as_o dark_a and_o comfortless_a as_o his_o own_o and_z and_o likewise_o find_v what_o a_o good_a end_n the_o lord_n in_o his_o due_a time_n bring_v all_o the_o trouble_n of_o his_o afflict_a child_n unto_o and_o for_o this_o purpose_n no_o doubt_n they_o be_v first_o collect_v and_o publish_v some_o year_n since_o by_o divers_a faithful_a and_o pious_a minister_n of_o the_o gospel_n in_o and_o about_o london_n and_o though_o they_o have_v omit_v the_o name_n of_o the_o person_n because_o no_o glory_v shall_v appear_v therein_o yet_o they_o be_v then_o know_v to_o be_v christian_n who_o have_v true_o taste_v &_o see_v that_o the_o lord_n be_v gracious_a now_o that_o the_o god_n of_o all_o peace_n and_o consolation_n may_v give_v his_o blessing_n hereunto_o be_v the_o hearty_a and_o earnest_a prayer_n and_o desire_n of_o he_o who_o be_v a_o well_o wisher_n to_o the_o soul_n of_o men._n w._n d._n mercy_n triumphant_a in_o the_o conversion_n of_o sinner_n to_o god_n discover_v in_o the_o remarkable_a and_o gracious_a experience_n of_o several_a eminent_a christian_n i._o experience_n of_o mr._n j._n r._n minister_n of_o the_o gospel_n before_o i_o give_v a_o account_n of_o my_o own_o experience_n i_o shall_v brief_o discover_v the_o duty_n and_o usefulness_n of_o communicate_v christian_n experience_n 1._o it_o be_v a_o duty_n because_o it_o have_v be_v the_o practice_n of_o the_o people_n of_o god_n in_o former_a age_n when_o our_o bless_a saviour_n have_v cleanse_v the_o leper_n matth._n 8.4_o he_o bid_v he_o go_v and_o show_v it_o for_o a_o testimony_n and_o matth._n 28.7_o the_o angel_n
of_o the_o gate_n from_o one_o post_n to_o the_o other_o with_o a_o broad_a blade_n most_o keen_a and_o cruel_a at_o which_o sad_a sight_n be_v almost_o distract_v with_o fear_n i_o shriek_v out_o yet_o have_v not_o the_o least_o power_n to_o stop_v but_o be_v forcible_o carry_v towards_o it_o so_o that_o the_o edge_n of_o the_o threaten_a blade_n meet_v with_o my_o body_n it_o seem_v to_o â—e_v impossible_a that_o i_o shall_v escape_v death_n and_o i_o make_v no_o other_o account_n but_o to_o be_v quite_o off_o and_o part_v asunder_o but_o afterward_o be_v hurry_v through_o with_o that_o irresistible_a force_n i_o have_v strength_n to_o stay_v a_o little_a beyond_o it_o and_o to_o contemplate_v the_o desperate_a peril_n that_o i_o be_v in_o i_o stand_v as_o one_o amaze_v and_o scarce_o know_v whether_o i_o be_v alive_a or_o dead_a yea_o i_o can_v hardly_o believe_v myself_o to_o be_v any_o thing_n but_o a_o dead_a man_n or_o at_o least_o mortal_o and_o deadly_o wound_v if_o not_o woeful_o and_o deplorable_o cut_v in_o twain_o oh_o how_o i_o stand_v tremble_v and_o turmoil_v in_o my_o thought_n until_o after_o some_o time_n the_o vital_a blood_n which_o be_v retire_v for_o the_o heart_n defence_n begin_v to_o disperse_v and_o circulate_v in_o its_o former_a course_n and_o then_o i_o look_v about_o and_o turn_v to_o the_o gate_n way_n but_o the_o appearance_n be_v pass_v away_o the_o sword_n go_v and_o vanishâ—_n whilst_o i_o be_v leave_v alone_o the_o rest_n run_v away_o in_o a_o labarynth_n of_o fear_n grief_n and_o doubt_n free_a from_o any_o wound_n without_o but_o deep_o and_o woeful_o wound_v within_o and_o never_o since_o to_o the_o praise_n of_o god_n grace_n as_o i_o know_v of_o have_v i_o make_v such_o vain_a and_o irreverent_a meâ—ntion_n of_o the_o name_n of_o the_o lord_n but_o good_a god_n what_o be_v thy_o will_n herein_o thou_o who_o be_v not_o tie_v to_o mean_n or_o order_n best_o ordere_v and_o dispose_v of_o all_o thing_n for_o thy_o own_o design_n and_o glory_n and_o so_o this_o be_v i_o be_o sure_a but_o what_o it_o be_v i_o know_v not_o yet_o it_o leave_v a_o last_a impression_n upon_o i_o and_o the_o sear_n be_v still_o to_o be_v be_v see_v in_o my_o heart_n though_o the_o wound_n be_v heal_v but_o alas_o how_o long_o and_o lamentable_o do_v i_o lie_v afflict_v and_o in_o continual_a fear_n after_o this_o every_o thunder_n and_o lightning_n i_o look_v upon_o as_o fatal_a to_o i_o and_o send_v to_o destroy_v i_o and_o then_o i_o will_v fall_v to_o my_o prayer_n and_o say_v my_o creed_n and_o commandment_n and_o to_o my_o sermon_n as_o fast_o as_o i_o can_v that_o i_o may_v be_v find_v well_o do_v at_o least_o if_o not_o as_o a_o charm_n to_o preserve_v i_o or_o a_o challenge_v to_o god_n by_o virtue_n of_o they_o to_o keep_v and_o defend_v i_o and_o i_o remember_v it_o be_v a_o great_a comfort_n to_o i_o to_o confider_v that_o other_o do_v not_o do_v as_o i_o do_v but_o that_o they_o altogether_o flight_v holiness_n prayer_n etc._n etc._n and_o live_v wicked_o and_o carnal_o in_o drunkeness_n disobedience_n sabbath-breaking_a and_o other_o sin_n every_o day_n this_o i_o be_v so_o far_o from_o grieve_v at_o and_o weep_v over_o that_o i_o in_o my_o heart_n rejoice_v in_o it_o as_o have_v more_o hope_n and_o fancy_v myself_o to_o be_v in_o a_o better_a condition_n than_o they_o and_o therefore_o shall_v have_v more_o favour_n from_o the_o hand_n of_o god_n but_o all_o this_o while_n like_o a_o israelite_n in_o egypt_n i_o work_v for_o life_n and_o my_o service_n be_v my_o saviour_n and_o i_o will_v often_o take_v occasion_n to_o discourse_n with_o my_o brother_n sister_n and_o schoolfellow_n about_o heaven_n and_o hell_n and_o what_o a_o hard_a thing_n it_o be_v to_o be_v save_v be_v at_o malden_n in_o essex_n some_o time_n after_o i_o have_v a_o certain_a dream_n which_o seem_v afterward_o fulfy_v it_o be_v about_o the_o time_n when_o the_o spaniard_n and_o hollander_n have_v a_o sea_n fight_v in_o the_o down_n which_o i_o hear_v some_o talk_n of_o it_o fill_v i_o with_o fear_n and_o the_o follow_a night_n i_o dream_v that_o i_o see_v fire_n rain_v or_o rather_o pour_v down_o round_o about_o and_o look_v where_o i_o be_v i_o think_v myself_o to_o be_v without_o the_o coach_n yard_n gate_n of_o my_o father_n house_n i_o be_v much_o affright_v to_o see_v nothing_o out_o fire_n on_o every_o side_n of_o i_o and_o look_v upward_o and_o about_o i_o pray_v earnest_o for_o deliverance_n none_o come_v nigh_o i_o by_o a_o good_a space_n though_o flame_v in_o all_o place_n else_o so_o that_o i_o can_v see_v none_o exempt_v wherefore_o be_v afflict_v for_o my_o father_n and_o our_o family_n i_o fall_v on_o my_o knee_n to_o ask_v mercy_n for_o they_o and_o continue_v pray_v a_o long_a while_n before_o i_o can_v be_v hear_v but_o at_o last_o i_o think_v i_o be_v bid_v to_o arise_v and_o look_v and_o then_o the_o fire_n seem_v not_o to_o fall_v so_o fast_o on_o my_o father_n house_n as_o before_o but_o abate_v by_o little_a and_o little_a till_o i_o awake_v now_o though_o this_o dream_n seize_v much_o upon_o my_o spirit_n for_o the_o present_a yet_o i_o account_v it_o only_o a_o fancy_n till_o about_o six_o year_n after_o meeting_n with_o dr._n draiton_n in_o the_o isle_n of_o ely_n and_o repeat_v it_o to_o he_o he_o declare_v to_o i_o that_o for_o several_a reason_n which_o he_o give_v this_o must_v be_v more_o than_o a_o mere_a dream_n or_o work_n of_o fancy_n and_o that_o something_o will_v happen_v which_o this_o do_v presignisie_n instance_v in_o some_o of_o the_o like_a kind_n which_o himself_o his_o wife_n and_o other_o have_v meet_v with_o as_o warning_n and_o prediction_n and_o therefore_o he_o wish_v i_o by_o no_o mean_n to_o slight_v or_o contemn_v it_o because_o he_o be_v confident_a it_o do_v presage_v some_o fiery_a and_o angry_a dispensation_n upon_o our_o family_n and_o that_o my_o father_n and_o the_o rest_n will_v fall_v undersome_a trouble_n by_o the_o time_n or_o otherwise_o and_o myself_o shall_v be_v free_a and_o at_o liberty_n to_o pray_v for_o they_o and_o that_o by_o degree_n they_o shall_v be_v bring_v out_o and_o the_o fire_n abate_v this_o interpretation_n which_o he_o give_v more_o full_o be_v for_o the_o most_o part_n verify_v some_o year_n after_o but_o all_o this_o while_n i_o be_v labour_v for_o heaven_n in_o a_o exceed_a formal_a way_n and_o do_v much_o covet_v to_o know_v the_o thing_n of_o god_n and_o therefore_o often_o wish_v that_o i_o be_v a_o minister_n such_o a_o one_o as_o mr._n fenner_n mr._n martial_n mr._n hooker_n my_o father_n or_o some_o other_o eminent_a preacher_n that_o so_o i_o may_v attain_v to_o their_o knowledge_n and_o then_o i_o think_v i_o shall_v do_v more_o abundant_a service_n for_o god_n as_o if_o the_o lord_n be_v behold_v to_o i_o for_o my_o obedience_n and_o shall_v the_o more_o easy_o and_o sure_o obtain_v salvation_n thus_o i_o poor_a creature_n continue_v for_o several_a year_n together_o keep_v many_o fast_a day_n by_o myself_o hear_v read_v sing_v psalm_n meditate_a use_v soliloquy_n and_o pray_v many_o time_n a_o day_n and_o what_o not_o and_o yet_o at_o last_o sink_v into_o the_o depth_n of_o despair_n what_o by_o the_o often_o thought_n of_o hell_n in_o read_v drexelius_n upon_o eternity_n and_o then_o think_v of_o the_o endless_a easeless_a and_o remediless_a torment_n of_o the_o damn_a what_o by_o frequent_a fright_v as_o before_o and_o what_o by_o my_o father_n once_o preach_v on_o the_o parallel_n of_o the_o fool_n in_o the_o gospel_n luke_n 10.20_o thou_o fool_n this_o night_n will_v i_o take_v away_o thy_o soul_n than_o who_o shall_v these_o thing_n be_v that_o thou_o have_v provide_v from_o whence_o he_o discover_v the_o unaccountable_a folly_n of_o man_n to_o lay_v up_o the_o trifle_n of_o this_o world_n and_o forget_v heaven_n that_o eternal_a happiness_n be_v not_o to_o be_v obtain_v upon_o a_o down_o bed_n nor_o without_o much_o pain_n and_o care_n since_o our_o bless_a lord_n tell_v we_o that_o many_o strive_v hard_a to_o enter_v into_o the_o kingdom_n of_o heaven_n and_o shall_v not_o be_v able_a and_o that_o except_o our_o righteousness_n exceed_v the_o righteousness_n of_o the_o scribe_n and_o pharisee_n we_o shall_v in_o no_o case_n enter_v into_o the_o kingdom_n of_o heaven_n matth._n 5.20_o what_o with_o these_o and_o other_o thing_n i_o be_v almost_o throw_v into_o the_o bottomless_a abyss_n of_o desperation_n i_o take_v the_o bible_n to_o look_v these_o scripture_n and_o read_v they_o over_o and_o over_o again_o but_o the_o more_o i_o read_v the_o more_o i_o be_v fill_v with_o horror_n
those_o many_o actual_a sin_n which_o i_o have_v personal_o commit_v but_o i_o be_o justify_v by_o christ_n 14._o i_o desire_v to_o show_v my_o dutiful_a love_n in_o obedience_n to_o my_o father_n command_n and_o my_o affection_n according_a to_o the_o rule_n of_o the_o gospel_n to_o christ_n my_o husband_n with_o who_o i_o be_o spiritual_o marry_v 15._o the_o lord_n say_v come_v out_o from_o among_o they_o all_o you_o my_o people_n and_o be_v you_o separate_v and_o touch_v no_o unclean_a thing_n and_o i_o will_v be_v your_o god_n and_o you_o shall_v be_v my_o people_n and_o if_o i_o regard_v iniquity_n in_o my_o heart_n the_o lord_n will_v not_o hear_v my_o prayer_n i_o take_v god_n to_o witness_v who_o know_v the_o secret_n of_o all_o heart_n that_o i_o desire_v to_o join_v in_o duty_n not_o to_o the_o end_n that_o other_o shall_v have_v a_o good_a opinion_n of_o i_o i_o know_v i_o must_v leave_v all_o worldly_a relation_n how_o soon_o i_o know_v not_o but_o herein_o i_o shall_v have_v peace_n that_o i_o do_v as_o my_o father_n have_v command_v i_o and_o i_o rejoice_v in_o christ_n jesus_n put_v no_o confidence_n in_o the_o flesh_n but_o only_o in_o the_o merit_n of_o my_o saviour_n m._n m._n xxvi_o experience_n of_o h._n w._n when_o my_o god_n appear_v through_o his_o grace_n to_o shine_v by_o his_o sacred_a spirit_n into_o my_o dark_a soul_n my_o thought_n be_v much_o take_v up_o in_o consideration_n of_o my_o sad_a and_o deplorable_a condition_n under_o the_o curse_n by_o nature_n yet_o so_o that_o i_o do_v withal_o see_v enough_o in_o christ_n to_o deliver_v i_o from_o all_o if_o i_o do_v attain_v to_o a_o true_a belief_n but_o my_o perplex_a soul_n drink_v deep_a of_o the_o bitter_a dregs_n of_o a_o sorrowful_a cup_n before_o i_o can_v taste_v of_o the_o sweet_a cordial_n my_o bless_a saviour_n have_v prepare_v for_o i_o wherewith_o i_o have_v since_o be_v often_o refresh_v my_o conscience_n tell_v i_o that_o if_o i_o ever_o expect_v deliverance_n from_o sin_n death_n and_o hell_n and_o to_o have_v favour_n with_o god_n i_o must_v devote_v my_o heart_n to_o he_o alone_o but_o yet_o i_o find_v the_o love_n of_o some_o worldly_a vanity_n root_v so_o fast_o in_o my_o affection_n that_o i_o do_v often_o put_v god_n off_o and_o have_v a_o eye_n to_o some_o worldly_a content_n which_o deprive_v i_o for_o that_o time_n of_o enjoy_v peace_n in_o his_o presence_n i_o often_o say_v lord_n such_o a_o day_n i_o will_v leave_v all_o and_o never_o seek_v myself_o but_o thy_o glory_n in_o all_o thing_n and_o then_o again_o lord_n after_o such_o a_o merry_a meeting_n than_o i_o will_v shake_v hand_n with_o all_o temporal_a delight_n and_o again_o now_o lord_n once_o more_o i_o will_v have_v but_o one_o day_n of_o pleasure_n and_o then_o i_o will_v part_v with_o all_o that_o offend_v thou_o and_o not_o seek_v after_o any_o thing_n out_o of_o thou_o more_o but_o for_o a_o time_n all_o this_o prove_v but_o unfaithfulness_n to_o my_o saviour_n and_o wound_n to_o my_o own_o spirit_n the_o sense_n whereof_o do_v sad_o terrify_v my_o conscience_n my_o soul_n be_v much_o cast_v down_o and_o i_o sit_v up_o a_o great_a part_n of_o many_o night_n when_o all_o the_o family_n where_o i_o than_o live_v be_v in_o bed_n and_o with_o a_o heavy_a heart_n and_o flood_n of_o tear_n gush_v from_o my_o sorrowful_a eye_n i_o be_v exceed_o disquiet_v pour_v forth_o my_o heart_n to_o my_o god_n and_o beg_a mercy_n at_o the_o footstool_n of_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n and_o that_o which_o be_v the_o great_a horror_n upon_o my_o spirit_n be_v that_o i_o can_v not_o manifest_v my_o believe_v by_o a_o pious_a spiritual_a conversation_n in_o a_o faithful_a obedience_n according_a to_o the_o sacred_a rule_n of_o the_o gospel_n when_o i_o have_v have_v resolution_n for_o worldly_a pleasure_n to_o satisfy_v the_o desire_n of_o nature_n it_o have_v take_v away_o the_o comfort_n of_o my_o heart_n from_o spiritual_a duty_n in_o the_o interim_n but_o i_o find_v in_o my_o soul_n a_o great_a conffict_n in_o wrestle_v against_o those_o sad_a temptation_n my_o conscience_n convince_a i_o how_o great_a a_o enemy_n i_o be_v to_o my_o soul_n therein_o and_o testify_v that_o it_o will_v be_v infinite_o better_a to_o leave_v all_o the_o vain_a thing_n of_o the_o world_n than_o to_o live_v without_o the_o love_n of_o my_o saviour_n but_o when_o my_o god_n be_v please_v to_o bring_v my_o heart_n to_o a_o frame_n to_o resolve_v serious_o never_o to_o delay_v with_o god_n a_o moment_n more_o my_o heart_n be_v so_o fix_v on_o my_o saviour_n that_o i_o see_v a_o sufficiency_n in_o he_o under_o any_o dispensation_n i_o taste_v a_o great_a sweetness_n in_o the_o grace_n of_o his_o spirit_n than_o in_o any_o temporal_a pleasure_n and_o i_o find_v much_o of_o the_o love_n grace_n spirit_n and_o power_n of_o my_o dear_a saviour_n appear_v to_o refresh_v my_o trouble_a soul_n and_o i_o have_v find_v much_o comfort_n from_o divers_a promise_n of_o the_o lord_n and_o particular_o isa_n 49.8,8_o i_o will_v preserve_v thou_o and_o give_v thou_o for_o a_o covenant_n of_o the_o people_n to_o establish_v the_o earth_n and_o to_o cause_n to_o inherit_v the_o desolate_a heritage_n that_o thou_o may_v say_v to_o the_o prisoner_n go_v forth_o to_o they_o that_o be_v in_o darkness_n show_v yourselves_o though_o i_o be_v before_o a_o prisoner_n to_o worldly_a vanity_n and_o shut_v up_o in_o darkness_n yet_o christ_n be_v send_v to_o declare_v the_o covenant_n to_o such_o i_o find_v good_a warrant_n to_o apply_v it_o to_o myself_o ezek._n 34.22_o therefore_o will_v i_o save_v my_o flock_n and_o they_o shall_v be_v no_o more_o a_o prey_n tâ—…_n salvation_n i_o apply_v as_o promise_v to_o i_o consider_v that_o though_o i_o be_v a_o sinful_a man_n yet_o it_o be_v my_o comfort_n that_o the_o lord_n be_v my_o god_n vers_fw-la 31._o and_o you_o my_o flock_n the_o flock_n of_o my_o pasture_n be_v man_n and_o i_o be_o your_o god_n mat._n 5.6_o bless_a be_v they_o which_o do_v hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o righteousness_n for_o they_o shall_v be_v fill_v god_n have_v give_v i_o a_o heart_n to_o hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o my_o saviour_n and_o my_o god_n above_o all_o thing_n i_o believe_v this_o promise_n be_v make_v to_o i_o with_o many_o more_o which_o give_v much_o sweet_a comfort_n and_o consolation_n to_o my_o soul_n and_o be_v justify_v by_o faith_n i_o have_v peace_n with_o god_n through_o our_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n the_o testimony_n of_o which_o faith_n be_v seal_v to_o my_o soul_n by_o his_o bless_a spirit_n in_o these_o demonstration_n 1._o i_o find_v many_o evident_a testimony_n of_o the_o love_n of_o god_n to_o i_o which_o have_v draw_v forth_o my_o soul_n to_o a_o high_a esteem_n of_o he_o and_o to_o love_v he_o above_o all_o thing_n 2._o i_o see_v nothing_o but_o sin_n in_o myself_o and_o my_o trust_n be_v in_o my_o saviour_n merit_n for_o justification_n 3._o i_o feel_v glorious_a refreshment_n from_o the_o heavenly_a gale_n of_o god_n bless_a spirit_n breathe_v his_o grace_n into_o my_o soul_n which_o be_v the_o high_a bliss_n i_o can_v desire_v on_o this_o side_n heaven_n 4._o i_o find_v much_o comfort_n from_o the_o word_n and_o ordinance_n 5._o my_o chief_a desire_n in_o all_o thing_n be_v to_o glorify_v god_n 6._o i_o find_v a_o very_a great_a affection_n in_o my_o heart_n to_o the_o people_n of_o god_n or_o any_o that_o i_o judge_v so_o to_o be_v 7._o i_o desire_v to_o be_v at_o peace_n with_o and_o do_v all_o the_o good_a i_o can_v to_o all_o especial_o those_o of_o the_o household_n of_o faith_n 8._o i_o can_v hearty_o beg_v of_o the_o lord_n to_o give_v i_o deliverance_n from_o and_o strength_n against_o every_o sin_n though_o never_o so_o please_v to_o my_o nature_n or_o which_o i_o be_o most_o prone_a to_o 9_o i_o find_v no_o such_o full_a joy_n in_o any_o thing_n as_o i_o do_v in_o communion_n with_o my_o god_n 10._o i_o see_v a_o purity_n and_o glory_n in_o the_o way_n of_o god_n and_o gospel-duty_n above_o all_o thing_n 11._o i_o desire_v no_o long_o to_o live_v than_o to_o glorify_v god_n 12._o all_o the_o day_n of_o my_o appoint_a time_n i_o wait_v till_o my_o change_n shall_v come_v h._n w._n xxvii_o experience_n of_o d._n r._n it_o have_v please_v the_o lord_n ever_o since_o i_o know_v a_o difference_n between_o good_a and_o evil_n to_o give_v i_o a_o heart_n to_o seek_v after_o those_o thing_n which_o savour_v most_o of_o god_n and_o it_o be_v my_o delight_n always_o to_o frequent_v the_o society_n of_o those_o who_o i_o think_v be_v true_o godly_a and_o upon_o this_o account_n i_o think_v
not_o at_o that_o time_n take_v comfort_n in_o any_o thing_n and_o have_v i_o not_o be_v with_o child_n &_o affect_v with_o natural_a inclination_n to_o the_o babe_n in_o my_o womb_n i_o have_v be_v in_o danger_n have_v not_o god_n prevent_v i_o to_o have_v destroy_v myself_o for_o i_o have_v some_o temptation_n that_o way_n but_o my_o god_n strengthen_v i_o yet_o before_o i_o be_v bring_v to_o bed_n i_o find_v peace_n and_o comfort_n and_o through_o grace_n have_v such_o settlement_n in_o my_o spirit_n that_o i_o can_v with_o joy_n night_n and_o day_n call_v upon_o my_o god_n believe_o but_o before_o i_o attain_v to_o this_o i_o have_v many_o sore_a conflict_n until_o after_o some_o consideration_n that_o the_o lord_n have_v put_v into_o my_o mind_n as_o first_o touch_v the_o child_n that_o i_o go_v with_o because_o god_n have_v say_v the_o just_a and_o innocent_a slay_n thou_o not_o and_o then_o consider_v the_o innocency_n of_o the_o child_n it_o become_v a_o mean_n to_o stay_v my_o hand_n from_o lay_v violence_n upon_o myself_o yet_o for_o a_o time_n i_o be_v much_o trouble_v in_o spirit_n till_o god_n give_v i_o peace_n from_o these_o and_o other_o scriptureâ—_n promise_n where_o the_o lord_n say_v call_v upon_o i_o in_o the_o day_n of_o trouble_n and_o i_o will_v deliver_v thou_o &_o thou_o shall_v glorify_v i_o psal_n 50.15_o sin_n shall_v not_o have_v dominion_n over_o you_o for_o you_o be_v noâ—_n under_o the_o law_n but_o under_o grace_n rom._n 6.14_o now_o the_o testimony_n of_o my_o conversion_n and_o true_a believe_v in_o which_o i_o hope_v i_o have_v a_o seal_n of_o my_o interest_n in_o the_o lord_n jesus_n be_v these_o 1._o my_o love_n to_o god_n which_o be_v real_a sincere_a and_o hearty_a desire_v he_o above_o any_o thing_n else_o whatsoever_o 2._o my_o rely_v upon_o jesus_n christ_n have_v nothing_o of_o my_o own_o to_o rest_v upon_o i_o fly_v to_o he_o and_z rest_z oâ—_n he_o for_o all_o as_o my_o alone_a saviour_n and_o redeemer_n 3_o i_o delight_v to_o read_v the_o holy_a word_n of_o god_n and_o to_o hear_v or_o other_o wise_a to_o partake_v thereof_o in_o which_o i_o find_v much_o comfort_n 4._o the_o comfort_n which_o i_o find_v by_o enlargement_n of_o my_o soul_n when_o god_n come_v in_o under_o the_o mean_n in_o duty_n and_o the_o loathnesse_n i_o have_v to_o be_v deprive_v of_o the_o ordinance_n 5._o the_o peace_n i_o find_v with_o my_o god_n in_o my_o soul_n which_o be_v sweet_a though_o not_o without_o much_o heaviness_n of_o spirit_n for_o my_o fail_n i_o do_v not_o live_v without_o wane_v and_o change_v in_o my_o spiritual_a life_n and_o faith_n towards_o the_o lord_n for_o sometime_o i_o trust_v god_n with_o all_o and_o at_o other_o time_n i_o meet_v with_o some_o donbting_n yet_o bless_v be_v god_n i_o find_v they_o more_o and_o more_o assuage_v and_o my_o communion_n with_o christ_n every_o day_n more_o sweet_a and_o full_a 6._o i_o doubt_v not_o but_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n my_o redeemer_n will_v so_o support_v i_o through_o his_o grace_n that_o what_o ever_o my_o condition_n have_v be_v or_o shall_v be_v here_o i_o shall_v not_o fail_v of_o salvation_n through_o christ_n in_o heaven_n for_o ever_o l._n p._n xxxv_o experience_n of_o f._n p._n i_o have_v be_v trouble_v at_o the_o thought_n of_o my_o corruption_n and_o wretched_a condition_n i_o have_v former_o have_v some_o doubt_n touching_n the_o scripture_n whether_o they_o be_v truth_n or_o not_o but_o have_v be_v since_o trouble_v that_o i_o make_v those_o foolish_a doubt_n to_o question_n god_n word_n and_o be_v so_o wound_v in_o my_o conscience_n for_o my_o sin_n therein_o that_o i_o fear_v i_o shall_v be_v damn_v for_o it_o because_o i_o think_v it_o be_v a_o sin_n that_o god_n will_v not_o pardon_v i_o have_v also_o strange_a thought_n about_o the_o sinful_a way_n of_o ungodly_a people_n and_o consider_v how_o loose_o people_n live_v i_o and_o temptation_n to_o persuade_v i_o that_o sure_o there_o be_v some_o easy_a way_n to_o heaven_n then_o the_o scripture_n have_v lay_v down_o or_o then_o i_o have_v learn_v but_o for_o these_o evil_a thought_n of_o i_o i_o have_v be_v so_o afflict_v in_o my_o spirit_n that_o i_o think_v i_o be_v a_o damn_a wretch_n i_o have_v be_v tempt_v by_o these_o blasphemous_a thought_n against_o the_o lord_n which_o have_v so_o afflict_v i_o that_o sometime_o i_o fear_v the_o devil_n will_v fetch_v i_o away_o and_o carry_v i_o to_o hell_n and_o i_o have_v think_v sometime_o that_o sure_o god_n can_v not_o in_o justice_n pardon_v such_o sin_n as_o i_o have_v commit_v i_o have_v also_o be_v tempt_v to_o make_v away_o myself_o but_o the_o lord_n god_n put_v i_o in_o mind_n to_o consider_v that_o it_o will_v not_o give_v i_o ease_v or_o comfort_n but_o be_v the_o way_n to_o enter_v into_o endless_a misery_n and_o thus_o i_o lay_v afflict_v with_o a_o most_o sad_a &_o trouble_v some_o spirit_n for_o about_o a_o year_n yet_o though_o with_o little_a hope_n from_o my_o present_a sense_n i_o have_v desire_n that_o god_n will_v save_v i_o and_o some_o groan_n i_o have_v after_o he_o and_o in_o his_o time_n which_o be_v best_a i_o begin_v to_o find_v enlargement_n of_o heart_n from_o god_n and_o a_o great_a longing_n for_o christ_n which_o increase_v through_o the_o work_n of_o his_o glorious_a power_n so_o that_o i_o think_v i_o can_v have_v be_v content_a to_o have_v go_v through_o all_o the_o misery_n in_o the_o world_n to_o have_v enjoy_v he_o and_o in_o my_o sleep_n i_o dream_v that_o i_o see_v my_o saviour_n lie_v in_o a_o grave_a and_o after_o again_o i_o see_v he_o rise_v from_o death_n when_o i_o awake_v and_o have_v some_o thought_n about_o my_o dream_n i_o find_v comfort_n in_o my_o soul_n and_o begin_v more_o sweet_o to_o hope_n that_o christ_n jesus_n die_v for_o my_o sin_n and_o be_v rise_v again_o for_o my_o justification_n but_o the_o devil_n who_o go_v about_o like_o a_o roar_a lion_n do_v still_o tempt_v i_o so_o that_o i_o be_v again_o ready_a to_o despair_v for_o my_o former_a evil_a thought_n and_o i_o be_v afraid_a that_o satan_n will_v have_v i_o and_o i_o doubt_v that_o god_n have_v no_o part_n in_o i_o which_o cause_v i_o to_o weep_v much_o and_o i_o be_v exceed_o trouble_v and_o sometime_o think_v that_o very_o i_o hear_v the_o devil_n come_v in_o a_o whirlwind_n for_o i_o and_o so_o terrify_v be_v my_o conscience_n that_o from_o the_o thought_n of_o the_o wrath_n which_o i_o fear_v i_o can_v have_v wish_v myself_o a_o beast_n a_o dog_n or_o any_o thing_n because_o their_o misery_n will_v have_v a_o end_n but_o aftermany_a comfortable_a discourse_n with_o friend_n and_o read_v some_o godly_a book_n that_o come_v to_o my_o hand_n the_o lord_n god_n in_o time_n deliver_v i_o from_o those_o temptation_n and_o have_v since_o comfort_v i_o with_o these_o promise_n to_o the_o great_a joy_n of_o my_o heart_n though_o some_o time_n i_o have_v not_o be_v without_o some_o doubt_n the_o lord_n have_v say_v be_v content_a with_o such_o thing_n as_o you_o have_v for_o he_o have_v say_v i_o will_v never_o leave_v thou_o nor_o forsake_v thou_o so_o that_o i_o may_v bold_o say_v the_o lord_n be_v my_o helper_n heb._n 13.5,6_o the_o lord_n say_v sin_n shall_v not_o have_v dominion_n over_o you_o rom._n 6.14_o this_o have_v often_o give_v i_o much_o comfort_n and_o keep_v up_o my_o soul_n when_o i_o have_v be_v ready_a to_o despair_v and_o christ_n say_v i_o will_v pray_v the_o father_n and_o he_o shall_v give_v you_o another_o comforter_n that_o he_o may_v abide_v with_o you_o for_o ever_o even_o the_o spirit_n of_o truth_n john_n 14.16,17_o and_o i_o have_v this_o testimony_n of_o my_o interest_n in_o christ_n by_o faith_n wrought_v by_o his_o bless_a spirit_n in_o i_o 1_o i_o see_v such_o a_o frailty_n in_o my_o flesh_n that_o except_o the_o lord_n send_v his_o holy_a spirit_n to_o enable_v i_o i_o can_v do_v any_o thing_n of_o my_o duty_n to_o god_n of_o myself_o it_o be_v the_o spirit_n of_o the_o lord_n and_o not_o any_o thing_n in_o i_o that_o be_v the_o foundation_n of_o my_o comfort_n 2._o i_o have_v have_v many_o time_n if_o my_o heart_n deceive_v i_o not_o clear_a testimony_n and_o evidence_n that_o i_o love_v god_n more_o than_o any_o thing_n else_o and_o desire_v he_o above_o all_o 3._o i_o desire_v much_o to_o hear_v the_o word_n and_o be_o trouble_v that_o sometime_o it_o do_v not_o so_o pierce_v into_o my_o heart_n as_o i_o desire_v 4._o i_o have_v sometime_o such_o sweet_a comfort_n and_o enlargement_n in_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o find_v much_o peace_n with_o god_n thereby_o which_o i_o
but_o this_o i_o find_v by_o experlence_n to_o the_o praise_n of_o my_o god_n free_a grace_n that_o as_o trouble_n have_v abound_v my_o consolation_n have_v abound_v much_o more_o for_o god_n bring_v seasonable_o into_o my_o mind_n many_o precious_a promise_n which_o be_v as_o so_o many_o sweet_a cordial_n which_o much_o support_v and_o comfort_v my_o heart_n and_o uphold_v my_o spirit_n when_o new_a storm_n have_v arisen_a and_o unexpected_a deliverance_n have_v follow_v and_o i_o have_v and_o do_v resolve_v by_o god_n grace_n not_o to_o distrust_v he_o any_o more_o yer_z though_o more_o and_o great_a danger_n shall_v arise_v yet_o i_o will_v trust_v in_o he_o and_o stay_v myself_o upon_o he_o though_o as_o job_n say_v he_o shall_v slay_v i_o the_o good_a lord_n establish_v my_o heart_n in_o this_o good_a and_o holy_a resolution_n who_o be_v able_a to_o keep_v we_o to_o the_o end_n and_o have_v promise_v that_o he_o will_v preserve_v we_o by_o his_o power_n through_o faith_n to_o the_o salvation_n of_o our_o soul_n in_o regard_n of_o satan_n temptation_n especial_o concern_v my_o come_n to_o the_o sacrament_n of_o the_o lord_n supper_n my_o experience_n have_v be_v these_o find_v often_o that_o i_o be_v very_o unable_a to_o fit_v and_o prepare_v myself_o for_o a_o comfortable_a approach_n to_o that_o sacred_a ordinance_n i_o use_v to_o desire_v the_o prayer_n of_o the_o congregation_n unto_o god_n in_o my_o behalf_n and_o use_v the_o best_a endeavour_n i_o can_v in_o private_a as_o god_n enable_v i_o though_o i_o come_v far_o short_a of_o what_o be_v require_v and_o of_o what_o i_o desire_v so_o that_o i_o do_v trust_v and_o hope_n through_o god_n mercy_n to_o find_v a_o comfortable_a day_n of_o it_o and_o to_o have_v it_o a_o seal_a ordinance_n to_o my_o soul_n but_o on_o the_o contrary_a i_o find_v much_o deadness_n and_o little_a spiritual_a taste_n relish_n and_o comfort_n in_o the_o use_n of_o it_o so_o that_o my_o spirit_n be_v oft_o much_o trouble_v and_o cast_v down_o in_o i_o fear_v lest_o i_o have_v some_o secret_a sin_n undiscovered_a and_o unrepented_a of_o which_o cause_v the_o lord_n thus_o to_o hide_v his_o face_n from_o i_o but_o then_o my_o gracious_a god_n bring_v this_o into_o my_o mind_n that_o the_o lord_n do_v sometime_o afflict_v we_o for_o the_o exercise_n and_o improvement_n of_o our_o grace_n as_o well_o as_o to_o humble_v we_o for_o our_o sin_n i_o also_o consider_v that_o as_o the_o lord_n do_v tender_a great_a mercy_n to_o we_o in_o this_o sacrament_n renew_v his_o covenant_n of_o grace_n and_o seal_v to_o we_o the_o pardon_n of_o our_o sin_n in_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n so_o he_o give_v we_o leave_v to_o engage_v ourselves_o by_o renew_v our_o covenant_n with_o he_o to_o believe_v in_o he_o and_o to_o trust_v upon_o christ_n for_o life_n and_o salvation_n and_o it_o please_v god_n to_o give_v i_o faith_n to_o apply_v this_o to_o my_o own_o particular_a soul_n and_o a_o while_n after_o to_o show_v i_o and_o to_o make_v good_a to_o my_o soul_n that_o precious_a and_o comfortable_a promise_n that_o though_o he_o hide_v his_o face_n from_o we_o for_o a_o little_a moment_n yet_o with_o mercy_n and_o lâ—ving_a kindness_n he_o will_v return_v to_o we_o again_o this_o be_v a_o wonderful_a comfort_n and_o support_v to_o my_o deject_a heart_n bless_a be_v the_o lord_n for_o ever_o i_o desire_v to_o treasure_n up_o these_o experience_n that_o for_o the_o future_a i_o may_v in_o the_o like_a case_n resolve_v to_o put_v my_o whole_a trust_n and_o conâ—idence_n in_o he_o that_o so_o satan_n may_v not_o entrap_v i_o in_o his_o snare_n through_o unbelief_n but_o that_o i_o may_v resist_v he_o steadfast_a in_o the_o faith_n for_o i_o be_o not_o altogether_o ignorant_a of_o his_o device_n god_n promise_n be_v that_o in_o all_o these_o thing_n we_o shall_v be_v more_o than_o conqueror_n through_o he_o that_o have_v love_v we_o and_o have_v say_v that_o this_o be_v the_o victory_n whereby_o we_o overcome_v the_o world_n even_o our_o faith_n 1_o john_n 5.4_o in_o the_o year_n 1664_o there_o come_v to_o we_o the_o sad_a news_n of_o the_o death_n of_o my_o second_o son_n mr._n john_n clark_n a_o godly_a faithful_a and_o powerful_a minister_n thus_o as_o the_o wave_n of_o the_o sea_n follow_v one_o another_o so_o god_n be_v please_v to_o exercise_v his_o child_n with_o one_o affliction_n after_o another_o he_o see_v whilst_o we_o carry_v about_o we_o this_o body_n of_o sin_n we_o have_v need_n of_o manifold_a trial_n and_o temptation_n as_o say_v the_o apostle_n 1_o pet_n 1.6_o now_o for_o a_o season_n you_o be_v in_o heaviness_n if_o need_v be_v through_o manifold_a temptation_n to_o keep_v we_o under_o and_o to_o make_v we_o the_o better_a to_o remember_v ourselves_o indeed_o it_o have_v be_v the_o lord_n course_n and_o deal_n with_o i_o ever_o since_o he_o stop_v i_o in_o the_o way_n as_o i_o be_v post_v to_o hell_n to_o raise_v up_o one_o affliction_n or_o other_o either_o inward_a or_o outward_a either_o from_o satan_n the_o world_n or_o my_o own_o corrupt_a heart_n and_o nature_n not_o have_v wisdom_n and_o grace_n to_o behave_v and_o carry_v myself_o as_o i_o ought_v under_o his_o various_a dispensation_n and_o providence_n as_o appear_v at_o this_o time_n by_o his_o lay_v so_o great_a and_o grievous_a a_o affliction_n upon_o i_o in_o take_v away_o so_o dear_a a_o son_n from_o who_o i_o have_v much_o soul-comfort_n and_o ardent_a affection_n which_o he_o manifest_v by_o his_o fervent_a prayer_n for_o i_o and_o by_o his_o spiritual_a letter_n and_o write_n to_o i_o wherein_o he_o apply_v himself_o suitable_o to_o my_o comfort_n in_o those_o inward_a trouble_n of_o heart_n and_o spirit_n that_o lay_v upon_o i_o this_o cause_v my_o grief_n and_o sorrow_n to_o take_v the_o great_a hold_n on_o i_o upon_o the_o loss_n of_o one_o who_o be_v so_o useful_a to_o i_o yet_o hereby_o i_o do_v not_o derogate_v from_o my_o elder_a son_n from_o who_o i_o have_v the_o like_a help_n and_o comfort_n upon_o this_o sad_a occasion_n my_o grief_n grow_v so_o great_a that_o i_o take_v no_o pleasure_n of_o any_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n but_o be_v so_o overwhelm_v with_o melancholy_a and_o my_o natural_a strength_n be_v so_o abate_v that_o little_a food_n serve_v my_o turn_n and_o i_o judge_v that_o i_o can_v not_o live_v long_o in_o such_o a_o condition_n hereupon_o i_o begin_v to_o examine_v my_o heart_n why_o it_o shall_v be_v so_o with_o i_o and_o whether_o carnal_a and_o inordinate_a affection_n be_v not_o the_o great_a cause_n of_o my_o trouble_n which_o i_o much_o fear_v and_o have_v use_v many_o argument_n and_o lay_v down_o many_o reason_n to_o myself_o to_o quiet_a and_o moderate_v my_o passion_n yet_o nothing_o prevail_v to_o quiet_a and_o calm_a my_o heart_n and_o to_o bow_v i_o to_o the_o obedience_n of_o god_n reveal_v will_n and_o withal_o consider_v that_o it_o be_v god_n only_o that_o can_v quiet_v the_o heart_n and_o set_v our_o unruly_a and_o carnal_a affection_n into_o a_o holy_a frame_n and_o order_n and_o that_o he_o be_v a_o present_a help_n in_o time_n of_o trouble_n i_o often_o and_o earnest_o seek_v the_o lord_n with_o many_o prayer_n and_o tear_n beseech_v he_o to_o quiet_v my_o heart_n and_o to_o overpower_v and_o tame_v my_o unruly_a affection_n so_o as_o to_o be_v willing_a to_o submit_v unto_o he_o and_o to_o bear_v his_o afflict_a hand_n patient_o and_o fruitful_o and_o to_o be_v ready_a and_o willing_a to_o submit_v either_o in_o do_v or_o suffer_v whatsoever_o he_o please_v to_o impose_v upon_o i_o and_o to_o be_v ready_a to_o part_v with_o the_o best_a outward_a comfort_n i_o enjoy_v whensoever_o he_o shall_v please_v to_o call_v for_o the_o same_o and_o it_o please_v god_n seasonable_o to_o hear_v my_o prayer_n to_o regard_v my_o tear_n and_o to_o grant_v my_o request_n by_o calm_v and_o quiet_v my_o heart_n and_o spirit_n and_o to_o give_v i_o much_o more_o contentedness_n to_o submit_v to_o his_o holy_a will_n and_o good_a pleasure_n who_o be_v a_o god_n of_o judgement_n and_o know_v the_o fit_a time_n and_o season_n to_o come_v in_o with_o refresh_a comfort_n and_o who_o wait_v to_o be_v gracious_a unto_o those_o that_o trust_v in_o he_o yet_o sure_o i_o be_v not_o without_o many_o temptation_n in_o this_o hour_n of_o darkness_n from_o that_o subtle_a adversary_n who_o always_o stand_v at_o watch_n to_o insinuate_v and_o frame_v his_o temptation_n answerable_a to_o our_o condition_n and_o like_o a_o roar_a lion_n walk_v about_o continual_o seek_v to_o devour_v poor_a yet_o grecious_a soul_n then_o i_o call_v upon_o the_o lord_n in_o my_o distress_n and_o he_o answer_v i_o and_o deliver_v i_o bless_v