some others brought several Red Coat-Souldiers and took it by force thrust out those persons I had left in Possession and kept Possession by Souldiers both of my House Garden and my Goods which had cost me above 700 l. with the Purchase bought of the Artillery Company of London to whom I paid 300 l. and laid out 400 l. more in building upon the Ground which I had bought and paid for I had at the same time 200 l. in Weavers Hall which was given away to the King among many greater Summs of other mens Money I spent above 150 l. more in Holland and Germany and when I had spent all that I was forced to sell all my Goods there to bring me to England again In which Return I met with two remarkable Acts of Providence towards me my Wife and two Children I had agreed with a Skipper at Cullen in Germany to Rotterdam for a Summ of Money and he was to pay all the Tolls Licences which he did at two or three places till we were come where we were Strangers and then he made me pay Licences at 2 places and at a place called Rurote upon the River Rhyne he made me pay both Toll and Licence and kept me there two or three days at great Charges and my Wife being set and very sad in an Harbour or Victualling house came in a Gentleman and observing of her asked me what the Gentlewoman ailed I told him she was my Wife and he understanding the Latin Tongue aâ—ked me what the matter was I told him all my Case and what my Condition was Well said he if you be a Son of Abraham God will deliver you and so he went into his Chamber and sent for the Skipper and Toll Masters and caused him to produce our Agreement and understanding how he had wronged one he being Lord and Chief over the Tollmasters there he Commanded them to take our Goods from him and to hire us another Skipper to carry us and our Goods to Rotterdam And made the Skipper that had done me wrong to allow me so much as I had paid for Licences all the way thither After we were come to Rotterdam and my Wife and Son and Daughter were come to England God made two Catholicks in Cullen instrumental to prevail with the Prince Dewit to send me by a Bill of Exchange 160 Rix-Dollers for a House that I had Built in his Country and could not Sell which I received at Rotterdam and then came over to England my self and came to my Wife and Children whom I found at a Friends House in London Then I set upon teaching School again and by Gods Blessing upon my honest Labours have provided things Honest Necessary and Convenient for my Family To my Eldest Son I had given 60 l. per Annum during his Life which he enjoyed above 21 Years ere he Died. To my next Son that lived to be Married I gave the full value of 250 l. in Money House School and Houshold-Goods and left him 50 Scholars in his Schoal-House To my only Daughter then Living I gave upon her Marriage above 300 l. in Money Annuity Plate Linnen and Houshold-stuff and left her Husband 50 Scholars in the said School-House in Partnership with my said Son To my youngest Son that lived to be Married I gave more than 300 l. Sterling besides it cost me above 60 pounds in his Apprenticeship and 40 l. afterwards Thus my Heavenly Father made up my former Losses with his future Blessings even in outward Substance besides a good increase of Grace and Experience in the space of 40 years that I and my dear faithful Wife Lived together we removed several times with our whole Family whereof once from Lincolnshire to London and from London to New-England Once from England into Wales twice from London into Lincolnshire once from London to Holland and from thence into Germany and thence to Rotterdam and thence to London again In which Removings I gained great Experiences of Gods Faithfulness Goodness and Truth in his great and precious Promises And I have gained some experience of my own hearts deceitfulness and the power of my own Corruptions ond the reigning power of Christ and his Captivating and subduing my Sins making Conquests of the Devil World and Sin and then giving me the Victory And causing me to Triumph and to bless his most Holy Name Three things made my latter Sufferings very easy to be endured 1. The former Straits and Hardships which I had undergone with patience 2. The present lively acts and exercise of Grace especially Faith and Hope under those latter and greater Tryals 3. The Light of Gods Countenance and the full assurance of his Love and of eternal Life I would not want those experiences and teachings that my Soul hath enjoyed for all that ever I suffered My Wilderness-Mercies Sea-Mercies City-Mercies and Prison-Mercies afforded me very many and strong Consolations The Spiritual sights of the Glory of God the Divine sweetness of the Spiritual and Providential presence of my Lord Jesus Christ and the joyes and comforts of the Holy and Eternal Spirit communicated to my Soul together with suitable â—nd seasonable Scriptures of Truth have â—o often and so powerfully revived refreshed and strengthened my heart in the days of my Pilgrimage Tryals and Sufferings that the Sence yea the Life and sweetness thereof abides still upon my heart and hath engaged my Soul to live by Faith to walk humbly and to desire and endeavour to excell in Holiness to Gods Glory and the example of others Though I confess many of the Lords Ministers and some of the Lords people have excelled and outshined me with whom God hath not been at so much cost nor pains as he hath been at with me â— am a very unprofitable Servant but yet by Grace I am what I am In the beginning of my Ministry I Studied in the Forenoon and Visited my Religious acquaintance in the Afternoon and some of my natural Relations I did Preach constantly twice often 3 times and some Lords days 4 times at Holton at 7 in the Morning at Humberston at 9 at Seartho at 11 at Humberston at 3 a Clock all in the same day I also Preached every Holiday once at every Burial Poor or Rich. And I have most commonly Preached 3 or 4 times every Week if in any measure of Health for above 40 years togather except now and then I got some other Godly Man to Preach for me but rarely When I was in Prison I did Preach usually every day if well And God was pleased to confirm my Call unto that great Work 1. By the Conversion of many Sinners who having declared the dealings of God with their Souls testified God did convince them convert them and establish many of them by my Ministry through the powerful and effectual Operation of his Holy Spirit and Word preached by me unto them 2. By some healing power of God put forth upon the sick and infirm
Bodies of several persons who were suddainly restored to health immediately in time of Prayer with them or by and through Faith in Jesus Christ especially in this City of London and of the Sickness called the Plague both in former years and in the year 1665. Not to me but to God be given Glory and praise for in his Name through Faith in his Name they were healed 3. By inabling me standing by me and strengthning me by his Holy Spirit and sanctifying Grace to preach the Gospel in season and out of season with all boldness neither being ashamed nor afraid to bear my Testimony for Christ his Gospel Churches Ministry Worship and Ordinances against the Antichristian Powers Ministers Worshippers and Traditions of the Beast the great mystical Whore and the false Prophet Nor have I been terrified by the Adversary By virtue of the Acts of Parliament touching private Meetings and Conventicles Commencing May the 10th 1670. I was taken at a Meeting in George-yard and the then Lord Mayor committed me to the Compter in Bishops gate for preaching there but having Favour in the Eyes of the Keepers I had liberty to preach to the Prisoners there twice every day of the Week in the common Hall where most of the Prisoners came and heard me and some of them blessed God that ever I came to that Prison Soon after I was set at Liberty at the Sessions in Old-Baily God made me his Prisoner by a sharp and painful Distemper in my Bowels called the griping of the Guts and he brought me near to the Grave But in time of my greatest Extremity God remembred Mercy forgave mine Iniquity healed my Disease and restored my Life from Death No Tongue can express my pains yet God gave me much patience wherein I possessed my Soul I had 1. A very clear Discovery from the Lord of the Cause why he so contended with me one was the meritorious Cause of some former Visitations and especially of this sore Disease 2. I saw the Sin of my sinful Nature which was not so Crucified as that it was destroyed but I found some motions of it of late stirring in my sinful heart The Sence of this was a very sore burden and trouble to my Soul in this day of my Calamity for which I mourned in secret before the Lord and lay at the Throne of Grace loathing my self and begging that God would kill that Sin and destroy it and all the rest of my Sins And received this answer his Grace was sufficient for me he had pardoned and he would subdue and destroy that and all other mine Iniquities according to his everlasting Covenant of free Grace Satan was sometimes very busy during this time of Sickness and tempted me sorely in the Night season sometimes suggesting to me that I was but an Hypocrite at other times that my Evidences for Heaven were not good whom God helped me to resist steadfastly in the Faith and he fled away Another cause why the Lord now contended with me was for the Tryal and Exercise of my Graces which he had given me It was the Tryal of my Faith and the exercise of my Patience and that I might be to his praise and an example unto weak Believers whose Eyes were upon me and were observing and hearkning how I did behave my self under all the great Rebukes and Chastisements of the Lord upon me For they had heard that God had taken one Grand-Child away by Death and Visited another who was above 16 years old with the Small-pox and she was likely to die and one Son died and was Buried during my Sickness and mine Eldest Son was dead and Buried in the Country whereof I was told before I was Recovered my other Sons Wife had sore Labour a Dead-Man-Child and she likely to die And my dear loving Wife then began to be sorely afflicted with a pain and swelling in her Face of which she since Died. But God did give a proportionable measure of Faith and Patience to me his poor unworthy Servant under all this his fatherly Chastisements He did strengthen me with strength in my Soul and upheld me with the right hand of his Righteousness so that I fainted not nor was I weary His Rod and his Staff did comfort me He brought out my Will unto a free Submission Subjection and Resignation to his own most wise and holy Will Yea my Facher's Visitations did so preserve my Soul that I did sing and rejoyce under the sights and smiles of Christ even whilst I was sighing and sorrowing for my transgressions Two learned well practised and judicious Doctors of Physick had daily visited me and consulted my Cure sereral days together and I was fully perswaded that they did what possibly they could to effect a Cure And knew also that God did not succeed their honest and faithful Endeavours with his Blessing Although God had given a signal and singular Testimony of his special Blessing by each of them unto others of their Patients at least sixteen at the same time I resolved to take no more Physick but would apply to that holy Ordinance of God appointed by Jesus Christ the great Physician of value Jam. 5.14 15. And I got Mr. Kiffin Mr. Vavasor Powel who prayed over me and anointed me with Oyl in the Name of the Lord And the Lord did hear Prayer and heal me For there were very many godly Ministers and gracious Saints that prayed day and night for me with submission to the Will of God that the Lord would spare my life and heal me and make me more useful and serviceable to the Lord to the Church and to the Saints whose Prayers God heard and as an Answer of their Prayers I was perfectly healed but remained weak long after My dear Wife remained weak and full of pain and was very greatly afflicted with pain day and night but the Lord gave her a great measure of Faith and Patience even to the end She enjoyed the Light of Gods Countenance had full Assurance of Gods Love the Pardon of her Sins and of eternal Life And having patiently endured six months sore pains upon the thirtieth of the second month called April 1671. being the Lords Day about four or five a clock slept in Jesus I was doing my Masters Work at that time in the Congregation and toward the end of my Sermon had a strong impulse upon my Spirit That my dear Wife was departing and in my Prayer after Sermon was drawn forth by Faith to commend her to God that gave her me and blessed him for receiving her Soul into Abrahams bosom and placing her among the Spirits of just men made perfect in the Paradise of God Since the death of my dear Wife it hath pleased God to stretch forth his Hand upon my only Son then living and to afflict him with a deep Consumption occasioned as I judge by Grief for his dearly loving and beloved Mother for he drooped ever since she first was taken ill of
which I now see is but filthy Rags c. Then God gave me those two Promises Isa 43.22 23 24 25. and Isa 54.9 10. and filled my Soul with joy and peace in believing so that I brake forth into praises and Thanksgiving The next day I went again to Mr. Wheelwright and told him what God had done for my poor Soul who said unto me now I was somewhat prepared to preach Jesus Christ and the Gospel of Free Grace to others having bin taught it of God and having heard and learned Jesus Christ my self And he advised me to wait still upon God in Prayer and Christ would appear again to me by his Holy Spirit in his Word and shew me and teach me how to preach then I went home again and continued in Prayer And one day begging earnestly of God in Prayer that if he had designed me to that great Work of preaching the Gospel that then he would give me some Testimony out of his Holy Word of his calling me thereunto whereupon those words were spoken by his Spirit to my Heart Act. 26.16 I have appeared unto thee for this purpose to make thee a Minister and a Witness both of those things which thou hast seen and of those things in which I will appear unto thee whence I believed that now I had received a Call and Commission from my Lord Jesus Christ to preach the Gospel of his Free Grace And I blessed God and expected a further Appearance of Jesus Christ unto me That Night in my sleep Christ put into my mind that the next Lords day I should preach on that Text Rom. 8.1 And he dictated to me in my sleep what Doctrine I should preach from that Text. The next day I went and told all this to Mr. Wheelwright who said Now my beloved Brother and Fellow Labourer in the Gospel of the Grace of God Christ hath given you Authority a Call and a Commission to preach I pray you be humble and holy and delay not to do your Masters Work or words to that effect That Night in my Sleep the Lord taught me more and the third night also and I retained it all in my Memory and writ it down and searched the Scriptures which I received in my sleep for the Confirmation of my Doctrine And the next day being the Lords Day I preached that which I had received from the Lord and God made it useful and powerful to Conversion as appeared to me afterwards Thus I was night by night taught of God to preach the Doctrine of Free Grace according to the Tenor of the new and everlasting Covenant for three or four years together whereby very many Sinners were Converted and many Believers were established in the Faith in which three or four years space I preached in three several places at Wood-enderby at Fulleby on the Hill and at Wainfleel where I was silenced and from thence removed to London and thence to New-England with my Wife and one Child About the Year 1636. I was persecuted and prosecuted in the High Commission Court by vertue of a Warrant wherewith I was apprehended in Boston and kept a Prisoner in the Man's House who served the Warrant upon me But God helped me to convince him and he was so greatly terrified in his Conscience that he set open his doors and let me go away but before I went I tarried so long in London waiting for a passage that when I went aboard I had but 6 brass farthings left and no Silver nor Gold only my Wife had 5 l. that I knew not of which she gave me when we came there By the way my little Child dyed with Convulsion fits our Beer and Water stank our Bisket was green yellow and blew moulded and rotten and our Cheese also so that we suffered much hardship being 12 weeks in our passage but God was gracious to us and lead us safe thro' those great Deeps and e're we went ashore came one and enquired for me and told me a Friend that was gone from Boston to Rode Island had left me his house to sojourn in to which we went and two Families more with us who went suddenly to their Friends and other Relations in the Countrey and I being poor was necessitated to work daily with my Howe for the space of almost three weeks The Magistrates were told by the Ministers that I was an Antinomian and desired they would not suffer me to abide in their Patent But within the time limited by their Law in that Case two Strangers coming to Boston from Piscattuah hearing of me by a meer Accident got me to go with them to that Plantation and to preach there where I remained about four years and then being sent for back to England by my aged Father I returned with my Wife and one Child about three years old and she was great with another Child and we came safe to London on the 24th of December 1641. in which Year the Massacre in Ireland broke forth and the next Year Wars brake forth in England between King and Parliament I was still poor and sojourned in a Lodging till I had but sixpence left and knew not how to provide for my Wife and Child but having prayed to God and encouraged my Wife to trust in God and to remember former Experiences and especially that Word of promise God had given us and would perform to us Heb. 13.5 having paid for my Lodging I went out not knowing whither Gods good hand of Providence would lead me to receive something towards my present Subsistence And about seven or eight doors from my Lodging a Woman met me in the Street and told me she came to seek me and her Husband sent her to tell me that there was a Lodging provided and prepared in his house by some Christian Friends for me and my Wife I told her my present Condition and went along with her to her house and there she gave me 20 s. which Dr. Bastwick a late Sufferer had given her for me and some Linnens for my Wife which I received and told her and her Husband I would fetch my Wife and Child and lodge there and so I returned with great joy and my Wife was very much affected with this Mercy and Divine Providence being so suitable and seasonable a supply unto us and she said Oh dear Husband how sweet is it to live by Faith and trust God upon his bare Word Let us rely upon him whilst we live and trust him in all Straits with many such like expressions And after we had returned praises to God we went to our new Lodging where we found all things necessary provided for us and all charges paid for 15 weeks and my Wife being bruised much on Shipboard had sore Labour and lay under great weakness above ten weeks all which time two Doctors an Apothecary and a Chyrurgeon did daily attend her and administred unto her freely without any Money and at the end of 16 weeks we
that Distemper of Rhume which fell from her Head into her Face of which she dyed And he hath been worse and worse ever since she dyed And I having had great Expences and a great Charge of dear Relations and owing some considerable debts I was necessitated to teach School again in my old Age That I might pay my Debts succour my dear Relations and not be too great a burden to the Church of God And this I have willingly and chearfully undertaken that if Persecution do come upon me again which I expect and prepare for and I shall be haled to prison or forced to flye It may be my Mercy and Comfort as at all other times of my many removals in the days of my Pilgrlmage and Persecutions That no person shall have any occasion to come to me and say Pay me what you owe me before you go for I desire to owe no man any thing but Love and honestly to pay every man his own And if Death seize on my body that I may leave enough of my own behind me to pay all my Debts and a little for the Relief of Gods Poor and some of my poorest natural Relations I had a Summoning in June last to prepare my self for the Grave by a sudden and sore Fit of the Wind-Cholick and Vomiting And on the 3d of October last 1671. I had another Summons to be ready to depart this life by another sudden more violent tormenting Fit of the Wind-Cholick and Vomiting And I am alarmed by these awakening Visitations of the Lord to prepare and be ready That when my Lord and Master comes or calls for me to come to him I may be found so doing that he may say Well done thou good and faithful Servant enter thou also into the Joys of thy Master The next Tryal my heavenly Father saw needful for me to be exercised under was the Sickness and Death of my then only living Son my Isaac my most loving and beloved Son who was translated the 15th day of November 1671. which great Tryal and Loss God made gain to him and easie to me by a manifest and powerful Work of Conversion Repentance and Faith upon his Soul in the time of his Sickness which administred much Comfort to me so that I sorrowed not for him as one without hope who exercised very great patience under his very great pain soreness and burning Feaver whilst his flesh marrow and moisture consumed and acted Faith and Hope very lively and constantly upon Christ in that Word John 6.37 And him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast off Very often expressing his former bondage and slavery to Sin and Sathan which he bewailed and acknowledged often Gods free and rich Grace in giving him Christ and Pardon and Salvation now at last which he had neglected the Offers and Tenders of so often Some Combats he had but after a manifestation of Christ to his Soul he dyed in Faith and Peace And albeit my natural Affections caused me to weep often and the sense of Gods Hand Rod upon me caused me to mourn very much in secret yet the Almighty by his Rod and Staff did so comfort me that I walked through this Valley also of the shadow of Death without fear of Evil and was assisted and enabled to perform the Work of my Ministry in the Congregation without any omission or interruption And that very Night my only Son dyed the Lord brought to my mind that Scripture Mic. 7.14 Feed thy people with thy Rod which was made a seasonable suitable and powerful Word by the Teachings of the holy Spirit unto my Soul in my solitary Condition Who thus administred Food yea and a Feast also to my Soul For by this Rod of God I had served into my Soul a Dish of sour or bitter Herbs I mean sorrow for my sins but I fed also on the Paschal Lamb in whole blood I saw all my sins washed away And the Spirit of God witnessed with my Spirit that I was the Child of God and one of those Children with whom God will keep Covenant and not take away his Love from me though he visited my Transgressions with the Rod and mine iniquities with stripes Psal 89.28 34. which Scripture was then brought again with power upon my Heart The next Dish of spiritual Food under this Rod which God brought me or sent me by his Spirit in his Word to feed upon was full of Love Then that holy Scripture came to me not in word only Rev. 3.19 20. but in Power and in the Spirit and in much Assurance wherein in he shewed me his Face and I saw my Fathers Face in that Glass of the Gospel Heb. 12.6 7. which the holy Spirit held forth to me by this Rod and shed abroad in my heart the Love of the Father in his Son Jesus Christ After this the next day God gave me a Dish of spiritual Fruits by this Rod to feed upon served up in that holy Scripture No affliction at the present is joyous but grievous but the fruit thereof shall be peace and righteousness to them that have been exercised therein And after God had thus fed me feasted me several days and nights together with this his Rod he very graciously pronounced his Blessing upon me by his Rod in these words Blessed is the man whom thou correctest and teachest out of thy Law or Word unto which I was helped heartily to say Amen It 's good for me to be and that I have been afflicted c. And after God had communed with me from his Mercy-seat and had instructed me I experienced such Divine Loves shinings and spiritual sweetness as Jonathan did when he tasted a little Honey-dew on the End of the Rod in his hand and was enlightned and refreshed So that I was enlivened or revived fed and feasted by the Rod and Word even the Bond of Gods everlasting Covenant of free Grace and Love About 4 or 5 months after the Death of my Son his Wife married a Gentleman of 300 l. per annum and left me engaged to receive and pay all my Sons Debts and to preserve his Credit and his Wife 's I borrowed 200 l. to help to pay his Debts and suffered the loss thereof which necessitated me still to keep School to pay my Debts And I having a Grand-daughter with me three years before she being nineteen years old did take the Charge of my Houshold-affairs and of my Boarders who managed all things with so much discretion that my life was very comfortable and I had great Content In Septemb. 1672. my only Daughters Husband went by her consent into the Country and left her Thus far was written with his own hand and there we must be forced to break off tho' abruptly the remaining part of his Life written by himself as this was being as Mr. Kiffin mentions in his Preface unhappily lost which because 't is â—mpossible to be supplied by any Hand so particularly