the Blessedness of an Endless Life No no they are far from repenting the Time they spent the trouble they were at the care they used the difficulties they met with the sufferings they indured to conflict with the world and the flesh to resist temptation to watch over their Hearts and words and ways to work out their Salvation to please God and be faithfull to him c. They find to their unspeakable comfort and Everlasting Joy that Heaven makes amends for all they could do or suffer in order to their coming thither Yea they find that they were not diligent and humble and patient and circumspect enough That they did not love God and seek his glory redeem their Time and improve all their Talents and opportunities of doing and receiving good and give up themselves intirely to prepare for Heaven to that degree they should have done They find by the transcendency of the Blessed Recompence that it deserved infinitely more then the most active zealous Christian upon earth did ever do in order to it Lord quicken my Resolutions and Endeavors by such thoughts as these inspire my sluggish carnal Heart with holy Light and Life and Zeal and fervor that looking to the things which are not seen which are Eternal I may lay up a good Foundation 1 Tim. 6. c. 19. against the Time to come and so lay hold of Eternal Life But alas how much have I neglected the great Duty of Holy meditation how little skill and experience have I in it how tastless and insipid oftentimes are my Thoughts of God! how confused and unsteady how little Pleasure or advantage have I by contemplaing his Highest Excellencies Yet methinks could I but retaine the same awakened lively thoughts of Heaven and Eternal Life which sometimes I have had might I continually feel the sweet and sacred Influence as for a little season I have sometimes felt it how little how very a Nothing would all this world be to me how comparatively weak its strongest and most alluring snares to draw me off from God! with what an unshaken mind could I refuse and resist'em with what an unconcerned indifference could I look upon all its most charming Glory Could I maintaine such a frame of Spirit as I have sometimes had for a little while in the serious contemplation of divine mysteries in fervent Prayer and other solemn duties of Religion when the acts of Faith were strong and lively my heart set on fire with love to God and holy breathings after him admiring his matchless Grace to fallen Sinners and to my Soul in partilar when he brought me to the very suburbs of Heaven tho alas how seldom by the delightfull Thought of what the Blessed Spirits above injoy in being where Christ is and beholding his Glory when I was ready to say within my self 'T is good to be Here this is no other then the gate of Heaven Oh when shall Mortality be swallowed up of Life But when I thought at any time to fix and settle in such sweet Contemplations how quickly did my lazy backward Heart flye off how soon did the flame decay and dye away how soon did I find my self fallen down to Earth againe sunk down from the bosome of my Lord presently forgot my self and Heaven to dwell among the Pots and imbrace a dunghill 'T was not on my own wings o Lord that I soared so high but I hope by the breathings of that H. Spirit of Light and Love who bloweth when and where and how long he listeth Who gave me at any time any such first fruits of the Spirit who convinc't me of the Certainty of the Heavenly Inheritance by a lively believing foresight of it who made me earnestly desire the wings of a Dove to be gone and appear before God in Sion made me pant and groan to be delivered and to be with God and Christ with inexpressible desire and joy unconceivably mixt together with sighs and Groans O my God! let not this experience be only such a Taste of the Powers of the world to come as is consistent with final Apostacy only the seeming zeal of the stony ground the rapturous Joy of an hypocrite from the power of Imagination and an heated Fancy from the workings of meer natural self love upon mistaken apprehensions of God and a fals Opinion of Heaven but by the holy effects let me be assured of the cause and Principle that it was of God! Teach me from the sweetness of a Spiritual Communion with God now in any of his apointed Ordinances to argue to my self what that most ravishing satisfaction will be that the Enjoyment of God in Heaven will afford the soul Our Holiness is now imperfect to what it shall be and therefore our Consolation Peace and Joy is but in part and incomparably less then we are assured it will be when we shall be admitted to behold the Glory of the Lord. 'T is now at most but as the Break of Day to the lustre of the. Meridian Sun. But if in this low imperfect State we can sometimes obtaine so near a view of his Glory and feel such sweet communications of his Grace how much more of this consolation and Joy is reserved to Heaven If in this Pilgrim state the gifts and graces and comforts of the H. Spirit are so refreshing O what hath God prepared beyond the Grave for those who love him If now he sometimes shed abroad his love in our Hearts after such a manner how much better shall I love him and feel the influence and evidence of his Love to me when I shall be with him and see him face to face If the apprehensions of this future Blessedness do now encourage raise and animate my drooping soul O what shall I know and see and how shall I rejoyce when the vail is removed If a Sacramental Communion with God and J. Christ be sometimes so sweet and so affecting what will the Blessed Communion with God and all his Saints above amount to when I shall sit down with all the Children of God in the Presence of the Bridegroom at the last Great Supper of the Lamb in Glory If the earnest of our Inheritance be so reviving what will be the ful Possession of it If the Hopes of that glorious day by holy meditation be so transporting what will be the end of our Faith and Hope If a Grape or two in the Wilderness be such a cordiall what will be the whole vintage in the Land of Promise Shall I after all this forget my own Experience and run from God and Heaven to imbrace or seek a perishing Toy Shall I hide my self with Saul among the stuff and lumber of this world when God is calling me to a Glorious Crown Art thou o my Soul a Kings Son an Heir of Heaven an expectant of such Great Felicity and yet stoop so low Hope for Heaven and yet grasp this Earth and hugg the vaine Appearances of Earthly Good Hope to be like
art able to be and do and give In whom or what shall I Rejoyce but in Thee o Lord shall I solace my self in transitory Goods that slip between my fingers and perish in the using or relish carnal Joys which pollute and debase the soul when I may and ought to rejoyce in Thee at all Times as the only Source of perfect Everlasting Joy. Let me then stirr up my drooping desponding unbelieving Heart to rejoyce in God who takes pleasure in the chearfull service and obedience of his children who delighteth in those who delight in him Vid. Mr. Howe of Delighting in God. Is not Delighting in God a most essential vital part of Religion should it not be my constant Frame hath not God sufficiently provided that it may be so Can I say and believe that God is the Portion of my Soul that he is my God and I hope to live with him for ever and not rejoyce or can I consider the grace of the New Covenant the matchless Love of Christ and the precious promises of the Gospel and not see reason to rejoyce yea doth my soul love God and endeavor to please him And is not the very act and exercise of holy Love mixt with unspeakable sweetness Whom is there in Heaven or in Earth or Hell that I ought to Fear but Thee who hast a negative voice in all the designs men and Devils an hook in their nostrils a bridle in their mouths to make them fullfill thy pleasure and in every thing accomplish thy Soveraign Decree Is there any Other in whom I may repose my Trust but in Thee o Lord the Rock of Ages the might of thy Power the unsearchableness of thy wisdom the Righteousness of thy Nature the stability of thy Truth the riches of thy Grace and the immutability of thy promise are a sure foundation for my soul to trust to and rely upon Thy word stands firm for ever and the Truth of thine ability and readiness to help in every Time of need endures the same thro out all Generations At all times and in all places my soul may trust in thee and find relief And they who know thy name will do so for in the Lord Jehovah is Everlasting Kindness and Strength To answer all my doubts to supply all my wants to fill all my desires May not God take it unkindly that I trust him no more And is it not a criminal unkindness that I give him not the glory of all these Excellent Attributes which are the grounds of Trust by a constant steady intire dependance on him for all that I need I have none in Heaven but Thee o Lord as the object of my Invocation and Worship Let other Christians have recourse to new Mediators and call upon other Gods I will-make mention of thy name and of thy Righteousness only And ask of thee whatsoever I need for the sake of thy Christ my only adorable Mediator Him thou hearest allway with him thou art allways well pleased I honour the holy Angells as glorious Attendants about thy throne and bless thee for them as Ministring Spirits for the good of thy Servants but I dare not invoke or worship 'em because they are Fellow Servants On the same account I honour the memory of Departed Saints but neither invoke them or pay them religious worship That Glory thou will not give unto another I have no precept in H. Scripture to direct no promise to encourage no Example to authorize the invocation of any other but Thee in whom I believe and Trust 10. Rom. 14. Having such a God in Heaven what can I need on Earth His eyes behold me his wing is over me his hand can supply me his Grace provide for me I can want nothing that is Good unless I should need somewhat which God the infinitely Blessed and Allsufficient God cannot bestow If thou art the Portion of my Soul all mine Enemies cannot make me miserable unless they can void Heaven of the presence of God hinder his care bind up his hand or obstruct his Love. But tho my Enemies cannot I fear my Sins may They alone can separate between God and my Soul. And considering the multitude and aggravations of them and thine unspotted Holiness and Justice I should have too much reason to fear and tremble yea and utterly despair if I had none in Heaven but Thee But thy word assures me that I have a Mediator there a faithfull and a compassionate High Priest Jesus Christ the Righteous whom thou hast exalted to be a Prince and a Saviour to give Repentance and Remission of Sins Who lives for ever in Heaven to make Intercession till he hath brought me there to behold his Glory and pertake of it That Glory o Lord thou hast reserved for Heaven in this world we only desire believe and hope to injoy it Whom have I in Heaven that is the place of Fruition What can I desire upon Earth This world is the place of Desires as the other of full Injoyment most of that which men call Injoyment in this Life consists but in desire Desire or Lust is all that is in the wicked world 1 John. 2. c. 13. the Riches of a Covetous worldling makes him desire more and the great mystery of Intemperance is to create and increase desires Desires of another kind are the portion of good men in this world O that I could breath after a state of perfect Fruition in Heaven with more importunate desires Who will give me to be in Heaven with Thee On Earth I desire nothing So one version Let me o my Soul think of Heaven as such a place or state of blessed Injoyment speak of it seek it long for it prepare for it as such And let J. Christ who is the desire of all Nations thro whom all divine communications are made to fallen Sinners be the great object of my present desires and love Let me desire nothing but as in him and for him that believing his word obeing his Law adoring his person imitating his Example trusting his promise constrained by his love pertaking of his Image filled with his grace and comforted by his Spirit my meditations of him may be sweeter and my love stronger and I may have nothing more left to desire for my self but that God who hath raised and exalted him would keep alive my faith and hope and holy desires till he hath made me meet to be with him and after having guided me by his Grace and Spirit and councells here on Earth would receive me to his most blessed and Glorious Presence in Heaven Amen Amen XXII The Glorious Appearance of Christ to Judgment considered as Certaine the Terror and Astonishment Confusion and Despair of the Wicked to behold their Judge and hear his condemning Sentence to EVERLASTING Destruction WHen our Blessed Saviour shall appear to judge the world I read that it shall be in his own Glory the Glory of his Father and of the Holy Angels If
What inexpressible sweetness might Believers tast by rejoycing in Hope did a more lively Faith realize all this to their Souls we might listen as it were to the shouts and Acclamations of the Saints above and say Amen to their Thanksgivings We might behold them about the Throne of God and of the Lamb with Palms of victory in their hands a Crown of Glory on their heads and songs of Triumph in their mouths saying Allelujah Worthy art Thou o Lord Rev. 4. c. 11.5 c. 12.13 to receive Glory and Honour and Power for thou hast Created all Things and for thy Pleasure they are and were created And worthy is the Lamb that was slaine to receive Power and Riches and wisdom and strength and honour and glory and Blessing And againe Blessing Honour Glory and Power be unto him who sits upon the Throne and to the Lamb for ever and ever Whence is it o my Soul if indeed I believe and expect all this that I can hear and read and think and speak of these great Things with no more ardent affections suitable preparations importunate prayers and vigorous desires How should the believing Thoughts of that Day promote my Heavenly mindedness self-denial contempt of the world patience and perseverance quicken my zeal secure my stedfastness and give life and spirit to my Prayers for the hastening of it how should my soul rise towards Heaven by holy Love and desire ascend and meet him get as near him as I can breath after more of his presence and beg him to prepossess my Heart to anticipate his second Coming by clearer discoveries of his Love and fuller communications of his Grace Even so Come Lord Jesus XXIV Concerning the Examination of a mans Heart and Life the Reasonableness Advantages and Necessity of it Some direction and advice concerning the Time and manner That we may know in what Preparedness we are for ETERNITY I Am hastening every year every day to the period of this Life I must shortly appear before my Glorious Judge and experience these Terrors or Comforts this Blessedness or Misery which I have now read of Shall I not therefore inquire which of the two belongs to me Is it not worth considering wither I must goe and how I shall fare when I quit this Body what is like to be my next Habitation to which of the two unchangeable States I shall be adjudg'd Shall an Inquiry of so much consequence be put off to an indefinite Hereafter do I not desire to know the worst while a remedy may be found or am I content to dye thro an unwillingness to discover that I am Sick The question to be resolved is of infinite weight Shall I not spend a few hours to know what will become of me for ever An error is more then possible 't is easy to mistake and the hazard of doing so is unspeakably great How many thousands perish eternally even under the light of the Gospel who never suspected their danger how ordinary how common a thing is it for men to be thus deceived how successfull is the Devill in this Stratagem against the Souls of men Is it not then a most criminal stupidity to be contentedly Ignorant and unresolved Wither I am reconciled to God or no Wither I am led by the Flesh or the Spirit wither I am in the broad or narrow way which lead to such contrary Ends that is wither if I dye in this condition I shall be saved or perish Can such an Inquiry be frivolous or indifferent Is the subject of it so contemptible and my concern in it so small that it merits not to be attentively considered Shall I never ask my soul till I am leaving this world the unfittest Time of all to begin so important an affaire what am I to whom do I belong whose Image do I bear how have I liv'd what do I doe what do I love most what do I most constantly desire and choose and seek how doth the Pulse of my soul beat is it quickest towards God or towards the world wither am I goeing what will be final upshot and issue of my present course Is it Heaven or Hell I must be translated to by Dyeing what Security have I got for Eternal Life what provisions have I made what foundation have I laid How strangely infatuated are most men who talk of an Everlasting Life as an Article of their Creed and say they count upon it that they must dwell in Happiness or Misery for ever and that seldom or never bethink themselvs in good earnest and for any Time with a setled composed exercize of Thoughts Which of these Two is like to be their Lot. Or If they begin to search and try themselvs they come to no Conclusion or conclude too hastily they pluk off the plaister assoon as it begins to smart they are either frighted with the horrid prospect of past Crimes or haveing escap't the grosser Pollutions of the world judge too favourably of their own case They commonly do the work but by halves and so goe from the glass and forget what manner of persons they were Let me therfore o my Soul Sequester my self from the world to commune with my own heart to reflect upon my past Life and look in to my present strate to recollect and review the most considerable passages of my course and Time hitherto O how neglected and disused a Practise is this which doth challenge and require our principal and most Serious concern about it and how many begin it and are discouraged and leave off without reaching the End of such an Enquiry How much wiser in this respect are the Children of this world in their Generation then the Children of Light who is so Exact in his accounts between God and his own Soul as Trades-men in their dealings with one another who is at the pains to write down his Sins and his Mercies the grounds of his Fear and the encouragements of his Hope or keeps a Journal and Diary of his Spiritual State who doth at set times once a moneth or once a Quarter or even once a year take a just view of him self his Heart and Life and State as a Christian that he may see what he hath received and done what he owes and what he may expect that he may know wither he thrive or decay wither be increase or decrease wither he goe backward or forward wither he be Richer or Poorer this year then the last And is it not a symptom that you are declining when you love not to examine your Accounts Is there not ground of Jealousie and Suspicion that you are behind hand because you are loath to inquire whither you are or no and unwilling to know the worst of your Condition Nevertheless without Such Enquiries and bringing the matter to a determination at what uncertainties must we live and how unconceivable an haszard do all Hypocrites and unrenewed Sinners run and how reasonable how necessary is it that
Life in order to Thankfullness The last section of thes Papers may giue you some assistance therin and consider what Retrun's you have made to God for all his Kindnesses You may do well to consider your self also in the Relations you have stood to others as Inferior Equal or Superior in family Church or State in your Calling profession imployment c. And examine in what more notorious Instances you have been faulty in your Relative Duties How you did ordinarily Carry it in your Place and station for that is the best the truest Picture of a man which is like him in his ordinary every-day's habit Perticularly reflect upon the sins you have committed in Company with Others By whose Example you have been drawn to sin who may probably have been tempted by yours and bewail it and if the persons are living admonish them to Repent and if you have injur'd and wrong'd any acknowledg your fault and to the utmost of your power make speedy Restitution If any of your Companions in sin are dead and you fear dyed without Repentance humble your self particularly before God for hauing contributed to their Damnation I know of some who have made such a Catalogue of their Sins with the most observable agravations of them which they constantly preseru'd and frequently review'd to keep them Humble Penitent Watchfull and Thankfull and on some occasions of secret Humiliation have spread them before the Lord as Hezekiah that of his enemy Covering them selves with shame and Confusion of Face by considering what they have been and thence admiring the Riches of free Grace in the forgiveness of such Crimes thro the Bloud of Christ Examine me o Lord and prove me try my Reins and my Heart for thy Loving kindness is before mine Eyes and I will walk in thy Truth Thou hast searched me o Lord and known me thou knowest my Thoughts a far off all my secret Sins are in the Light of thy Countenance and thou art acquainted with all my ways set my Sins in order before me that I may Repent and for sake them Show me mine Infirmities and weaknesses that I may watch against them And teach me to Judge and condemn my self that I may not be judged of the Lord. XXV How Christians ought to examine their Decays of Grace and Piety The greatness of their Sin and of their Losse under such a Declension God's displeasure and departure from them considered to awaken present Endeavors of a Recovery In what manner the Faith of Adherence may be acted by one who hath no Assurance IT cannot but be of use to Believers also at stated Times to examine themselves concerning their Languishings and Decays in Grace Falling from their first Love to a spirit of in differency and Lukewarmness disorderly walking or unfruitfullness wither Gray Hairs are not here and there upon them and they know it not For God may withdraw by degrees so that his departure may not presently be perceiv'd and some kind of Activity in Duty may be continued upon false Principles and from Common Assistance while a Christian as to his spiritual State may be under a dangerous Consumption 'T is not difficult for others to observe it some times and would be visible enough to themselves would they spare a few hours to examine the matter The Punishment of such Backslidings the loss of the quickning and comforting presence of the H. Spirit deserues likewise to be inquir'd into in order to a speedy remedy and should enforce the Counsell I mean not barely the ebbing of Affections in the duties of Religion or the want of life and quickning from sensible Consolations which new Converts especially such as have been reclaim'd from a course of notorious Impiety have more of at first then afterwards Which doubting Christians should particularly take notice of by the Instance of the Prodigal who was extraordinarily feasted at his first return but was doubtless contented afterwards with the ordinary Provisions of his Fathers house Neither doth God dispence the same measure to all alike nor to any alike at all Times some who are called to greater services and sufferings then others or had greater Conflicts before Conversion may have a greater share then the rest of their Brethren Neither will the same degree of Grace imparted to some persons so discernably moue and comfort as it will do some others of a different Temper 'T is not therfore so much to be the matter of our Enquiry if at all it need to be so wither we have more or less of sensible joy in the performance of duty But Wither we are not fallen and declin'd as to the inward vital Acts of Grace and in the outward Fruits of Holiness Wither we have such clear convincing Apprehensions of divine and spiritual Truths and the mysteries of the gospel as formerly wither our minds are not become more vaine and heedless wither our knowledg of God and of the Revelations of his will be as powerfull and efficacious upon our Hearts and Lives as heretofore wither there be not less frequency less Consistency less inward satisfaction in holy serious thoughts then formerly You were wont to pray and endeavor that God might be first and last in your thoughts every day and by frequent Ejaculations in civil affaires to maintaine a dayly converse with God but now you mind not wither it be so or not yea you cannot but know that it is not thus with you still It was once your Burden to be pester'd with foolish filthy wordly vaine Thoughts especially on the Lord's Day or in the worship of God you rejected and disown'd them you lamented and pray'd against them do so much as examine wither it be thus still Consider all your Affections and their several objects and see wither a criminal Lukewarmness hath not diffus'd it self in to every of them Examine every Grace and see wither your Faith Hope Love holy Desires and Delight in God be not miserably abated as to the strength and vigor the efficacy and frequent exercise of every of them so that your Thoughts of God are few cold and lifeless without desire delight and love Consider the Opportunities and solemn Occasions of approaching the divine Presence Are they as much the Desire of your souls and the rejoycing of your Hearts as once they were Are you not more easily diverted from them less satisfy'd and refresht by them are not all Gospel Ordinances less powerfull and quickning and your profit and advantage therby unspeakably less then formerly Doe you hunger and thirst and pant as the Hart after the water brooks to draw nigh to God and come into his Courts doe you make Conscience of preparing before hand do you come with a real desire and design and expectation of profiting and bettering your Spirits do you joyn in every part of divine worship with that attention seriousness and composure of mind and taste the sweetness and benefit of such solemnities as formerly are such services performed with
slip have I not made it more my business to seem Religious then really to be so how much of the Patience of God have I abus'd refusing his calls to Repentance resisting the strivings of his Spirit smothering my Convictions and turning the grace of God into wantonness In stead of returning gratitude for all his Love I have repeated my Transgressions after Forgiveness and gone in a circle of Repenting and Sinning even to this day Lord I am Asham'd and lay my self in the dust before thee To me belongs nothing but shame and confusion of Face If God should condemn and punish me as a Rebell and a Traitor and give me the Portion of Hypocrites I cannot but own his Justice even in Hell I must do it with my flaming Tongue and Breath O Spare me for thy mercies sake Enter not into Judgment with thy servant for in thy sight shall no flesh living be justifi'd if Thou lay Judgment to the line and equity to the Plummet Give me Repentance unto life never to be repented of never to be retracted againe Bring me to the Bloud of Jesus which cleanseth from all sin Behold the sighings of a contrite Spirit For I acknowleg my Transgressions unto thee against whom I have sinned o Lord forgive the Iniquity of my Sin. I am unworthy to lift up my hands and Eyes towards Heaven unworthy to be called thy son or thy servant I am vile in mine own eyes because I have made my self vile in thine For this I am troubled and mourn and my Soul is grieved within me O thou Heavenly Physitian of Souls from thy Pitty alone I expect my cure I am miserable and undone without thy Compassion and expect no relief but from the Treasure of thy Grace I must perish and sink under the burden of Sin if thy mercifull hand doe not save me and lift me up I am intangled and insnar'd by the Devill and my Lusts and without thy Succor can never hope to get free O Lord for give my Sin and heal my Soul deliver and save me for thy mercies sake May I not yet hope in thy mercy thou hast mercyfully born with me hitherto thou callest me to repent thou commandest me to return and promisest to forgive those Sins which are confessed and forsaken O do not cast me out of thy Sight and Presence now I desire from the bottom of my Heart to return to thee I abhorr my self in dust and ashes for my past Iniquities But alas such is the hardness of my Impenitent Heart that I am even asham'd of my humblest Repentance how much more may God despise and reject it But hast thou not given thy H. Son to dye for Sinners and exalted him to this very end to be a Prince and a Saviour to give Repentance and Remission of Sins And by the word of thy Grace thou beseechest all even the Greatest Sinners to accept of mercy and art more willing to pardon then we can be to Repent T is thy Delight and Glory agreable to thy nature and declared Name as a God gracious and mercifull slow to Anger and of great Kindness fergiving Iniquity Transgression and Sin. O Pardon mine Iniquity for it is great and receive an humble Penitent who implores thy Grace according to the Tenor of thy new Covenant flying to the arms of thy Mercy thro the merits of Jesus Christ who is able to save to the uttermost all that come unto God by him Lord hear my Prayer and let not the mixture of my weaknesses and unworthiness turn it into Sin but graciously vouchsafe to look upon a returning Prodigal and cause me to hear the voice of Joy and Gladness that my sorrowfull Heart may be comforted and my life be directed to thy Praise Lead me into the path of life that I may no longer erre from the way of thy Commandments Teach me to do thy Will o God and write thy Law upon my heart that I may never more return to Folly. I am convinc't of the Evill of Sin of thy Right to govern me of the equity and Justice of thy Law of the sweetness and rewards of keeping thy precepts O sanctifie my Heart and make me Sound in thy Statutes that I may hate every false way and be devoted to thy Fear the remainder of my Life If there be any particular Lust or Wickedness which thro the power of Temptation and the deceitfullness of Sin you have fallen into that hath wasted Conscience and robb'd you of your Peace and provok't God to write bitter things against you be sure to humble your self without delay in an especial manner for that Backsliding Confess it freely with its aggravations Consider wither it was not after some special manifestation of God's Love after some special warning some strong Conviction under or soon after some great Affliction from God or some more then ordinary kindness of his Providence c. and impress such Thoughts to humble your self the lower search into the grounds and causes of such Apostacy such as the abatement of your watchfullness the neglect of serious closet devotion making bold with Temptation too great compliance with vaine Company venturing too far in lawfull or indifferent Things too much Confidence in your own Wisdom Strength and stedfastness not fearing sufficiently the Approaches and Beginnings of Sin or avoiding the fuell incentives and occasions of it c. Palliate and disguise nothing that may make your sin exceeding sinfull least by some little Art of the Devil you deceive your self by an half-Repentance and the Evil Spirit you think to be cast out return againe with seven worse then himself and so your latter end be worse then your Beginning For if the sin be not truly hated but only cover'd over with penitential Ashes it will quickly flame out againe when it meets with combustible matter and a strong blast of Temptation But if you are griev'd to the very Heart and abhorr the Sin and resolve to quitt it you need not doubt of God's readiness to receive you to Mercy His Spirit is yet striving with you if you are willing to Repent and return to God. He sought you and call'd you to return when you were wandring as a lost sheep in the broad way and can you think he will not be found of you if you seek him with your whole Heart Therfore renew your Repentance and beg more earnestly a Spirit of Humility Holy Fear and Watchfullness and every morning implore divine succors against that Sin and all Temptations to it Which as much as possible you must avoid Constant and fervent Prayer after Repentance must be your refuge and your Remedy If you let fall your hands this Amaleck will prevail againe assoon and as far as you fail in the constancy and fervency of that Duty your Sin will get strengh and successfully attempt you another Time. But by this practise God may turn Evil to work for Good make you gaine by your loss stand the faster by your
strength from above My senses are so deceitfull my Passions so ungovernable the Rule and Law I am to walk by so strict and spiritual and extensive Criminal Omissions may be so frequent and easily overlook't so many several and difficult Duties are to be performed and by every change of my Condition or of God's Providence so many new dangers and new duties may arise that I fear the issue of my firmest Resolutions So strict a watch must allways be kept such humility and Caution is every where to be practis'd such speedy Repentance required after every fall with thankfullness and contentment in every State under all Calamities be they never so many or never so pinching and perseverance herein absoluty necessary tho never so many stratagems be used to discourage me from proceding or to intice me to goe back or turn aside to some other Path that if God had not promised me his Continued presence and that his Grace shall be sufficient for me and that I shall not be Tempted above what I am able to bear I should utterly despaire of making good what I now resolve But besides these promises to encourage my resolved obedience he hath left upon record in his word many glorious Examples of his assisting and rewarding the courage and resolution of his servants to continue faithfull as in the case of Joseph Daniel and his Three Friends c. If Christ stand by and strengthen me I know I shall be able to do all things I shall not then be flattered or frighted out of the way of my duty no wind that can blow shall then turn me to another point nothing shall then be able to prevail for my consent to a willfull and deliberate forsaking of God no Argument no Temptation tho Privacy Opportunity Impunity from men with rewards of wordly Gaine and Honour should all concurr to enforce a Temptation But by that heavenly mind I shall be preserv'd Humble Temperate Chast patient Thankfull self-denying crucifyed to the World and hold fast my Integrity till I dye still perfecting Holiness in the fear of God growing in Grace and in the Knowledg of my Lord and Saviour J. Christ waxing stronger from day to day be seldomer surprized offend less and repent more quickly and watch more narrowly afterwards till at last I receive the Crown Fix therfore I beseech thee most Gracious God! my unfeigned Resolutions of cleaving to thee with full purpose of Heart and show thy strength in my weakness by inabling me to doe what I now resolve To that end teach me to watch over my Heart to keep it with all diligence to be more conversant with my own Thoughts examining the motions that arise in my Heart whence they come and whither they goe and what they tend to that I may suppress the beginnings of Sin. Let me live no longer as a stranger to my self but by self-reflexion dwell more at home reckoning my principal Work to be within doors to keep my own vineyard Teach me to watch over my senses to guard the door of my Lips to govern my Passions to be wary of my Company to be circumspect in every step of my dayly walk to call my self frequently to a reckoning to cast up my accounts at the foot of every page by every days review of my Actions to live allways as in God's presence and be awed every where by the thought of his Holy Eye to shun the occasions and appearanees of Evil c. And because no place no Condition no Imployment is exempted from Temptations let me fortifie my self every morning against all Assaults for that day by Serious Prayer as Holy David was wont to do My voice saith he shalt thou hear in the morning O Lord in the morning will I direct my Prayer unto thee and will look up Psalm 5. v. 3.4 Let the law of God be my dayly and delightfull study that I may be able presently to bring my words and Actions to the Touchstone and know how to manage the sword of the Spirit on all occasions against the fiery Darts of the Devil that knowing the rule I may not be doubtfull or at a losse when ever I am Tempted I may not make a stand to parley but immediately summon all my forces to resist and reject the snare being assur'd from God that the Continuance of this warfare shall end in a most Glorious Victory He will shortly tread down Satan under our feet Thanks be to God thro Jesus Christ my Lord. XXVIII The Import and Obligation of our Baptismal Covenant The renewal of it by a solemn Dedication of our selves to God the Father Son and H. Spirit exemplifi'd and recommended ALl this O my soul which I have now resolu'd on is no more then what I am obliged to by my vow in Baptism to renounce the Devil and his works the Flesh and the Lusts therof the World and conformity to it that I may Love and Serve the Lord agreable to the undoubted Right which God hath in me by Creation Redemption and his innumerable other Benefits But The outward washing of Baptism and a visible profession of obedience will not save me without the Answer of a good Conscience towards God. 1 Pet. cap. 3. v. 21. May I not by the consideration of my Baptismal Covenant suppose God speaking to my Conscience to this effect Will you take me for your whole Portion and Felicity and my Law for the constant Rule of your obedience and fight against the world the flesh and the Devil to your lives end will you believe in Jesus Christ and receive him as a Prince and Saviour and adhere to the faith and obedience of the Gospel how hazardous and difficult soever the profession and practice of it may be Will you receive the B. Spirit as your Teacher Sanctifier and Comforter and cherish all his Motions to inlighten purifie confirm comfort and assist you 'T is my hearty consent to these Terms and resolved compliance with them which Baptism obligeth to and this is the Answer of a good Conscience towards God. I have often renewed this Covenant on several occasions but did I ever duely consider the tenor and obligation of it How have I lyed unto the God of Truth dealt deceitfully whath Him and been False and Fickle treacherous and unfaithfull to what I promised O let me now againe repeat it and give up my self once more to be the Lords more unfeignedly more firmly then ever I have hitherto done that the bonds of God upon me may be strengthned and my soul more throughly ingag'd to be the Lords O help me to do it with the greatest seriousness as the most important Affaire of my whole Life by thine aid and grace alone shall I be sincere and cordial in this surrender and Dedication of my self O breath upon my soul most H. Spirit the Power of the Highest that there may be no Hypocrisy or Reservation in this so weighty and solemn Transaction between God and
me O most Blessed and Glorious TRINITY Father Son and H. Spirit Thy favor is my Life and thy Loving kindness is better then Life Thy Will should have been my Rule thy word my Law thy Glory my end to please thee my principal Business and to injoy thy Love and Presence my ultimate Felicity But I am one of thy revolted Creatures who have lost thine Image and rebell'd against thy Law slighted thy Authority and rejected thy Grace and deserve to be cast out of thy sight and banisht from thy Presence for ever Nevertheless O most mercifull God and Father upon thy gracious invitation and call I now return to thee my rightfull Lord acknowledging thee as my Allmighty Wise and Bountifull Creator my absolute Owner my Righteous Governour my End my Happiness and Chief Good. I now accept thine offer'd Mercy I now submit to the Scepter of thy Grace and give up my self to Thee as my King and my God to rule and sanctifie me now and be my Everlasting Portion I desire to be no longer my own but Thine to whom of right I belong and ought to be devoted I yeild my self to Thee O my Lord Accept and possess that which is thine own I lay my self at thy Foot at all Times and in all Conditions to be at thy dispose and in every thing to acquiesce in thy Good Pleasure Deliberately resolving with unfeigned and free consent of my Will to walk before Thee in Holiness and Righteousness all the days of my Life Hereby I consecrate and devote my self to be thy perpetual avowed Servant Lord I am thy servant I am thy servant the Son of thine Hand maid Tho other Lords have had dominion over me I will now make mention of thy Name and of thy Righteousness only by Jesus Christ O Blessed Jesus my All sufficient Saviour Thy dying Love infinite Condescention and matchless Grace hath at last overcome me and constrain'd me to resolve to be wholly Thine who hast redeem'd and bought me with thy most precious Bloud I now acknowledge and own Thee as my Lord and my Jesus my Prophet Priest and King my Sacrifice Surety and Ransom to satisfie for my sins and reconcile me unto God to instruct me in his will and teach me the Mysteries of his Kingdom and the way to the Father How often hast thou open'd thine arms and called me yea beseecht me to come unto thee and accept of Life but I refused to come I adore thy mercifull Condescention that yet thou wilt receive me on such easy Terms O thou Lord of life and glory now accept of an unworthy helpless Sinner who flies to Thee as his only Refuge and Hope who is convinc't that None but Christ None but Christ can make his Peace with God and save from wrath come I acknowledge thy Title to me and my obedience and to all I have by dying for me I desire to take thy yoke upon me for it is Easy and thy Burden which is Light. I desire to be intirely and for ever thine in an Everlasting Covenant never to be broken to take up the Crosse and follow thee whither so ever thou shalt lead me thro the straight Gate and the narrow way I will reserve no Lust refuse no Labor grudge at no suffering stick at no difficulty so I may please and honour thee and continue in thy Love. Os hed abroad more of thy Love in my Heart to make all Things easy for his sake who hath loved me and washed me from my Sins in his own Bloud O God the Holy Ghost I acknowledg Thee as my Great Teacher and Sanctifier and give up my self to Thee as the Author of all saving Knowledg and Holiness By Thee I have been convinc't of my Sin against the Law of God and the Gospel of Christ and of my necessity of his merit satisfaction and Righteousness to Justifie my guilty Soul by procuring the Forgiveness of Sin and my acceptance with God and of the freeness of his Love the Riches and all sufficiency of his Grace towards all who come unto God by Him. I adore Thee O most Blessed Spirit as proceeding and sent from the Father and the Son to renew all the Powers of my Soul and restore the divine Image there to enlighten my mind to know and receive the Truth as it is in Jesus and purifie my Heart and to sanctifie all the Members of my Body and make them Instruments of Righteousness unto Holiness which before were servants unto Sin and gradually to deliver me from the power the defilement and abode of Sin as from the Guilt and Punishment by the bloud of Jesus And as the Witness of God to the Truth of the H. Scriptures and as the Great Paraclete to comfort and establish the Hearts of Belivers sealing them up to the day of Redemption and giving them the Earnest of the Heavenly Inheritance O Blessed Spirit be thou my witness that tho I have violated the Law of God and defac't his Image and formerly undervalu'd the Love of Christ and the Grace of the Gospell yet by thine aid I now accept what I have so long neglected and thankfully devote my self hence forward to be the Lords in a Covenant Relation But fearing and distrusting my self I give up my self entirely to the conduct of thy Grace depending upon it for my establishment and perseverance O form my Heart into an obediential Frame that in every thing I may endeavor to answer the Ends and Obligations of this Devoted State. To this One God I have once againe dedicated and resign'd my self to serve and please and honour Thee in Thought Word and Act to the last moment of my Life in the Performance of all Duties even those whic I have been most averse from in the mortification of every Lust and the forsaking of every Sin even those which I was once most addicted to Resolving deliberately to allow my self in nothing great or little secret or open which I shall know or believe to be contrary to thy holy will making it my business to be fruitfull in good works to the praise of my Redeemer waiting in the use of all his apointed means for higher measures of Grace and Holiness to be more victorious over inward Lusts and outward temptations still pressing towards the mark for the prize of my high and holy Calling even eternal Life I call Heaven and Earth O Lord to witness this day that I own and avow this to be my Mind and the setled Prevailing Purpose of my Soul. This I againe ratifie and confirm with out any Clauses or Exceptions So help me O my God. Glory be to God the Father God the Son and God the H. Spirit XXIX Prastical and Consolatory Reflexions on the preceding Self-dedication or Covenant with God. I Have this day solemnly avouched the Lord to be my God Deut. 6. c. 17.18 to walk in his ways therby to fortifie my Resolutions that I and my House and All that I can
persuade to be of my mind will serve the Lord. I intend desire and hope never willfully to violate the Faith I have now plighted in the presence of God but to continue stedfast unmoveable all was abounding in the work of the Lord c. Should I undertake any new Imployment or enter into any new Condition or change the place of my Abode where I might see more of God's dishonour and meet with more and stronger Temptations to Sin and be called to the performance of more difficult duties greater Watchfullness and self denial c. I would hope hereby to ingage the presence of God with me and his Blessing on all my Affaires on which depends the success of all that I undertake and would hope the better to preserve my Integrity not only This Year but in all the remaining portion of my Time by the abiding sense of my Covenant with God thus seriously renewed This is the method I have been often advis'd to for Peace of Conscience under doubts and scruples concerning my spiritual State to put the matter out of doubt by againe accepting the offered mercy and Grace of the Gospell and heartily consenting to the new Covenant giving up my self to God in Christ to be ruled and saved by him Blessed be God I have now done so Lord say Amen to thy part of the Covenant that Thou art and wilt be my God as I desire unfeignedly to do to mine that I will be thy Servant But because Articles are sooner consented to then made Good tho I seriously intend never to disown this my solemn Act and Deed but firmly to adhere to it as long as I live that having sworn I will endeavor to perform it that this shall be my Everlasting Choice never to be recanted or alter'd yet considering the sad Instances of my former weakness and the vigilance and subtle malice of my Great Adversary I againe implore the succor of divine Grace to keep it for ever in the purpose of my Heart that it may be as the Laws of the Medes and Persians never to be reverst I have given up my name to be Thine O put thy Fear into my Heart that I may never depart from Thee Imprint thy Laws upon my Heart that my obedience may be uniform and universal unwavering and perpetual suitable 〈◊〉 so honourable and near a Relation to Thee I am sensible I want Wisdom and Strength to that purpose but thou hast bid me ask it of Thee who givest liberally to All without desert and upbraâ—â—est not with present unworthiness or former faults O lead me not into Temptatien but deliver me from Evill Stand by and strengthen me in the Hour of Trial least I forget my vows and deny Thee O that my Soul may never draw back least Thine have no Pleasure in me I can serve no better Master O let mine Ears be bored to the door of thine house as the Token and Assurance of my being thy Servant unto Death I know 't is my Duty I am sensible 't is my Priviliedge and Honour I am convin'd that 't is my Interest and Felicity my Soul my Life my present and everlasting Well-fare and All depends upon it that thou shouldst be my God for ever O conduct me by thy H. Spirit of Grace that I may walk and Act as having heartily consented he should be so and direct my Heart into thy Love and the faithfull keeping of thy Commandments That when so many Professors make shipwrack of Faith and a Good Conscience and discredit the Religion of my Lord by their shamefull Falls thou mayst make me to stand and improve the warning of their Examples to walk humbly and while I stand to take heed least I fall Having thus surrendred my self to God what is there o my Soul that is ever like to prevail with me to goe back and revolt from him Is the gratification of a Lust the securing of an Estate compliance with a Friend the pleasing of a Superior living in Ease and Honour and outward Prosperity for a little while the saving my Body from suffering or my Life from violence or what ever els be the Motive of my ufaithfullness to God and Apostacy from Him Is Any is All of these any way considerable compared with the Blessedness of having God to be my God. For therby I have the forgiveness of all my Sins and the Assurance of his Favor the certainty of present Protection and Provision all Creatures reconciled to me and to be imployed for my Good as the Friend of God All things to work together for my Advantage and by the evidence of my Adoption a well grounded hope of Eternal Life God as my Sun and Shield will give Grace and Glory and with hold no Good Thing So unspeakably Comprehensive are the Priviliedges of so near a Relation to God in Christ O happy are the People who are in such a case Blessed are the Persons whose God is the Lord. Doe I resolve to abide by my Choice and to trust in Christ for persevering Grace and shall I not ought I not to take Comfort in it Shall I not give God the Glory of his infinite Goodness by adhering to him and rejoycing in him notwithstanding all Temptations to the Contrary Casting all my care upon him and quieting my self in the All-sufficiency of my Heavenly Father having a God in Covenant who will supply all my wants and take care of me as his Own. Shall I not give him the glory of his Truth and Power by trusting him in every Condition by confidence in his Promise Dependance on his Word Faithfullness to his Interest and Constancy in his Service to the end Is it not a most encouraging Thought that God doth never Abandon any who do not first forsake him And after such strict Engagements as I have laid upon my self shall I ever strike the fatal stroke with my own Hand shall I be off and on say and unsay promise and retract and after I have proceeded thus far shall I forsake the Fountaine of Living Waters and turn againe to broken Cisterns After I have examin'd my self considerd my ways confest my Sins and upon serious Deliberation am come to a Resolve and in pursuance of it have devoted my self with such solemnity to be the Lords shall I ever after this forsake Him my own Mercies and lightly esteem the Rock of my Salvation Now I have learn'd in some mensure what Sin is by the sorrows and anguish of an Hearty Repentance now I have discoverd so much of the Snares and Devices of Satan wherby I have formerly been betraid now I am sensible of the dangerous and powerfull influence and Infection of bad Company the Treachery of fleshly Lusts the bewitching Temptations of the World and have tasted a little by my own Experience of the Pleasantness of Wisdoms Paths the Peace and satisfaction of Devotedness to God by the present Rewards of a calm Conscience the communications of divine Grace and
the Encouragement of an Holy Hope c. and am perfuaded of the Stability of his Word and the Certainty of Eternal Life to all who continue in well-doing shall I after all this ever break with God againe shall I ever cancell this Engagement violate this my Vow and falsifie so many repeated Promises and Resolutions Oh that his Power may rest upon me and his Grace work in me both to will and to Doe that this God may be my God for ever and my Guide unto Death Let me never reassume this Gift and Surrender of my self or defraud God of his Right and Propriety His I am and Him I will serve living wholly to Him using all I have for him being willing he should do what he list with his own and consequently dispose of me and of all that any way belongs to me as shall seem Good in his Eyes I am Thine O Lord save me Command me my work apoint me my Duty direct my Station order my Condition let me be Thine tho imploid in the meanest service and the most aborious selfdenying work Tho I should be but a Doorkeeper in thine House an Hewer of Wood or a Drawer of water Tho I must pinch the flesh and swim against the Tide and renounce what before I valued yet This God shall be my God for ever By this means when I come to Dye if God should add more years to the little number I have past besides this I have now begun I may be able to say with Upright Hezekiah Remember Lord how I have walked before Thee in mine Integrity That in the face of Death and the Grave in the view of another World and the near prospect of Eternity I may be able to Reioyce in Hope and Say Lord Jesus Receive my Spirit Thou art my Saviour and I have waited for thy Salvation I have sought Thee with my whole Heart I have chosen thy Favor rather then Worldly Grandeur and Prosperity I have prized thy Love and endeavor'd to obey Thee as the best Expression of my own tho with many Imperfections which I bewail I have delighted more in thy Service and Presence then in the Pleasures of Sin and vanity thy Testimonies have been the Joy of my Heart I took no delight in the Company of the ungodly after I was devoted to Thee O let me not have my Portion with them in the other World Fortifie me now against the King of Terrors strengthen me in this my last Conflict enable me to triumph over Death by the Crosse of Christ my victorious Redeemer and carry me thro the dark valley at the divorce of Soul and Body and grant me an abundant entrance into thine heavenly Kingdom Let me be numbred among thy Chosen and my Body wait in Hope 'till the general Resurrection that I may then see thy Glory and dwell with Thee for ever By voluntary consent and Choice thou art my God and thy Presence in Heaven my ultimate Felicity I have trusted to thy Gracious Promise to prepare me for it and bring me to it O fullfill thy Word unto thy Servant wherin thou hast caued me to hope and mercifully receive my departing Soul that seeks Thee that loves Thee that breaths after Thee and desires nothing but to know Thee better and love Thee more and be more entirely conform'd to thine Image and live allways in thy B. Presence Amen Holy Father be it unto me according to thy Word thro the Merits and Intercession of my Allsufficient Saviour J. Christ the Faithfull and True Witness in whom all thy Promises are Yea and Amen XXX Thanksgiving to God for his Innumerable Benefits and Mercies particularly in the Year Past with some Direction and Advice concerning it HOw precious and delightfull are the Thoughts of thy Benefits O Lord how great is the sum of them Should I count them they are more in number then the stars Shall I not observe anâ— consider them maintaine a grateful sense of 'em and publickly acknowledg them on all occasions that I may Bless the Lord at all Times and his Prayse be continually in my mouth More especially should I conclude and begin the Year with solemn Praises to my Great Benefactor and Preserver I ought to begin and close every Day with it therby to make the outgoings of the Morning and the Evening to rejoyce in God. Every year every Day every Hour every Moment offers me an occasion to praise Him because he is every minute gracious and hath been so ever since he gave me my Being Allmost one half of my Time hath been spent in Sleep when I remember not God nor my self yet doth He who never slumbers or sleeps remember me in Mercy and watch over me for Good. Yea tho in the other half by Day I have forgotten him in a worse sense by casting off his Fear and not remembring that his Holy Eye is upon me yet hath he not forgotten to be Gracious Therfore I will Praise the name of God with a song and will magnifie him with Thanksgiving and never forget his Benefits With which Sacrifice he is better pleased then with an Oxe or Bullock that hath horns and hoofs He hath prolonged my Life this last Year when so many others of his more usefull servants have been remov'd by Death and given me farther Time and Space to Repent when multitudes have been surpriz'd in their Impenitence Yea it was He who formed me in the womb and brought me safely into the world by whose Providence I have hitherto been supplied in Him I live and move and continually exist To his undeserved Goodness I am beholding for all the Good of any kind which I ever enjo'yd to his Bounty I am indebted for all that I now have and must depend upon it for what ever I can here after exspect Thro Infancy and Childhood he was pleas'd to preserve me Psalm 69. v. 30. favouring me with many advantages in my Birth and Education prividing for me a Competent Livelyhood disposing the Circumstances of my Condition Relations Places of Abode c. more advantagiously then he hath done for Thousands affording me many helps for the Improving of my mind and the increase of Knowledg and preventing my Necessities and even my Desires with numberless Blessings which I never so much as askt for He hath caused Several of my Relations to yeild me Comfort when they might have been sore Afflictions He hath raised up Strangers to befriend me and show me kindness How many favours have I receiv'd from God by the Instrumentality of other Men to whom God gave the Will and the Power the Opportunity and the Inclination How often hath he deliver'd my Soul from Death mine Eyes from Tears and my Feet from falling by seasonable Preservations so that I do yet walk before Him in the Land of the Living He hath rescu'd me from the brink of many a Precipice which thro Ignorance or Inadvertency did not apprehend or Fear When I knew not
Pardon A wake O my Soul and utter a song of Praise to Him who forgiveth all thine Iniquities and healeth all thy Diseases who redeemeth thy Life thy Soul from Destruction and erowneth thee loving-kindness and tender mercies Hath he made thee pertaker of his own renewed Image and likeness given thee his Son his Grace his Spirit and taken such a wretched Creature into so near a Relation to Himself and promised to be thy God and Guide thy Portion and thine Inheritance thy Friend and thy Physitian thy Sun and thy shield and thine exceeding great Reward Ps 103. v. 2. and shall not my Soul speak aloud his Praise Hath he been mercifull to my unrighteousness and blotted out my sins hath he gathered me with his arm and carried me in his bosome hath he been my Saviour and Redeemer adopted me into his Family and promis'd to make me Blessed in his Glory with the H. Angels the Curse being removed and the hand writing against me cancell'd the Price paid the breach made up the mouth of Justice stopt and the condemning Sentence of the Law exchang'd for a gracious pardon thro the Sacrifice of my B. Lord Jesus and shall I not praise his incomprehensible Love and Grace I likewise thank Thee most Holy Father for saving me from Guilt and Ruine when assaulted by powerfull and dangerous Temptations that by preventing mercy or Restraining Grace Esa 43. v. 14. thou hast kept me from many Scandalous and presumptuous Crimes I thank Thee for making the Sins of Others a warning and a Caution to me an argument to humility and a motive to watchfullness for preserving my Judgment from many Errors and delusions by which others are seduced for enabling me to improve any opportunities of doing Good and making me in any thing usefull to Others yea I thank thee for all thy Mercies to other Christians for all the Gifts and Graces and usefullness of any of thy Servants wherin as a member of the same Body I desire to rejoyce for any support and comfort to me or Any of them under honourable Sufferings for thy name sake I desire unfeignedly to bless Thee for any Succor relief and victory with respect to the snares and buffetings of Satan and the vilest of his Temptations When he hath tempted me to Apostacy and Infidelity in Speculation and practise to question the Truth of the H. Scriptures and the Life to come to doubt of the foundations of the Christian Faith or to despair of the mercy of God and give up the Reins to sensual Lusts or to draw me from God by the love of the World and the praise of men by Evil Company Intemperance secret wickedness c. I bless Thee with my whole Soul for calling me back from any of my Wanderings and by infinite Goodness recovering me after great Falls enabling me to return when I had gone astray and seek thy forfeited Favor that thou mayst heal my Back slidings giving me in order to it a deep sense of my own Sin and of thy Soveraign Grace leading me to a Saviour whose Bloud cleanseth from all Sin when my guilty defiled Soul so much needed its pardoning and cleansing vertue awakening me to make holy vows and calling upon me by thy word and Spirit and Providence to perform them I Bless Thee who hast guided my feet into the way of Peace when by the terrors of an accusing Conscience and the sense of unpardon'd Sin and the apprehensions of thy deserved wrath I was ready to despair That tho thou didst most justly hide thy Face at any time it was but for a little while but didst seasonably and in mercy return to wipe off my Tears restore the Joy of thy salvation and chase away the clouds and darkness on my Spirit by the reviving presence of thy own Thou who art the Author wilt be the finisher of my Faith and therfore tho thou hast visited mine Iniquities with a Fatherly Rod yet thy Lovingindness thou hast not taken from me or suffer'd thy Faithfullness to fail or thy Covenant of Peace to be removed but hast refreshed me with hidden Manna after great Perplexities saying unto my Soul I am God even thy God making me to hear thy voce which was sweet and to taste thy Love which is better then wine enabling me to say with thine Apostle Thomas My Lord and My God. And to have any Communion with thee since in publick or private Duties For all these innumerable Mercies I desire to praise Thee which yet are but in order to greater to Everlasting Kindness in Heaven These are but the taste and earnest of what thou wilt bestow hereafter O how great his his Goodness that he hath laid up for Those that fear Him And now Lord what wait I for my Hope is even in Thee I thank thee who hast thus put it into my Heart to render thee solemn Praise and once more to renew my Covenant what thee I will magnifie the Lord and my Spirit shall rejoyee in God my Saviour Return unto thy rest O my Soul for the Lord hath dealt bountifully with me While (a) Psal 104.33 I live I will praise Thee and sing praises to my God while I have a being O come and behold the works of the Lord what he hath done for my Soul the Lord liveth (b) Psal 18.46 Blessed be my Rock and let the God of my Salvation be exalted Let my Heart be glad and my Glory rejoyce for the Lord is not asham'd to be called my God. Thanks be to God who hath caused me to triumph in Christ Jesus Sing unto the Lord O ye his Saints and give thanks at the Remembrance of his Holiness (c) Ps 30. I cryed unto thee and thou hast healed and sav'd me I will give thanks to Thee for ever (d) Psal 119.62 I will show forth thy Lovingkindness in the morning and thy Faithfullness every Night For the Lord is Good his mercy is Everlasting and his Truth endures throout all Generations O enter into his Gates with Thanksgiving and his Courts with Praise be thankfull unto him and bless his name Bless the Lord all ye his works in all places of his Dominion Bless the Lord O my Soul. Let me add for a Conclusion that the particular Deliverances Supports and Consolations which at any time God hath given in cases of great Exigence or in answer to importunate Prayer ought never to be forgotten Many experienc't Christians have been wont to write down such remarkable Appearances of God for them with the particular Circumstances that did recommend and enhanse the mercy wither Spiritual or Temporal as an encouragement to trust in God in future difficulties and have afterwards found the Comfort and Advantage of being able to have recourse to such Papers This practice I recommend as what hath been usefull and Consolatory to diverse Christians for many years afterward and to some others of their more intimate Friends to whom they might without vanity be imparted What experiences might be recorded of signal returns to Prayer and seasonable manifestations of the Truth and Goodness and wisdom of God if all the Instances therof were duely recollected and preserv'd And how sweet and pleasant would the work of Prayer and Praise then be with what rejoycing and delight should we set about it live in it if the constraining Goodness Love of God and a Thankfull sense of his unspeakable mercies did bring us to him and indite and animate every word what support and comfort and probable hopes at least of the special Love of God might we derive from the various passages of his Compassion and kindness And hereby we may be able more heartily to give him thanks for Pardon Sanctification and Adoption which we commonly mention with too much doubt and fear It may likewise be advisable to examine and record the workings of your own Spirit under such Dispensations What Thoughts you then had of God what acts of Faith Love Thankfullness you did then manifest what Evidences of God's favor and what discovery of your own Sincerity you have had at such Times when and how and by what means you were cured of your uncomfortable unbelief and raised from your despondency what Promises you had recourse to for relief what Considerations were most helpfull to you what Frame of Spirit you kept up in Prayer before and after what Resolutions and Engagements you made to God to love and trust and praise and serve him and give up all to his dispose for the future and what consequent obligation may be infer'd from thence to acquiesce in the Will of God and resign our selves entirely to Him saying This God is our God for ever and ever and He will be Our Guide unto Death THE END