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spirit_n faith_n good_a holy_a 6,020 5 4.5476 3 false
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A07049 Pappe with an hatchet Alias, a figge for my God sonne. Or cracke me this nut. Or a countrie cuffe, that is, a sound boxe of the eare, for the idiot Martin to hold his peace, seeing the patch will take no warning. VVritten by one that dares call a dog, a dog, and made to preuent Martins dog daies. Lyly, John, 1554?-1606. 1589 (1589) STC 17463; ESTC S112317 19,581 40

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thou hast the churches discipline that thou canst by thy faction pollicie pull down Bishops and se●●p Elders bring the lands of the Clergy into the cofers of the Temporaltie and repaire Religion by impairing their liuings it may bee thou shalt bee hearkened too stroakt on the head greasd in the hand fed daintelie kept secretlie and countenaunst mightelie But when they perceiue that all thy deuices bee but Chymeraes monsters of thine owne imaginations so farre from pulling downe a Cathedrall Church that they cannot remooue a corner of a square cap thē will they deale with thee as the Duke did with the Alcumist giue thee as many bobs on the eare as thou hast eaten morsels of their meate and make thee an example of sedition to be pointed at that art now so mewde vp that none can point where thou art All this tale with the application was not of my penning but found among loose papers marie he that did it dares stand to it Now because I haue nothing to doo betweene this and supper I le tell you another tale and so begin Winter by time There was a libeller who was also a coniurer so that whatsoeuer casting of figures there was he deceiued them at the last one as cunning as himself shewed wher he sate writing in a fooles coate so he was caught and whipt Martin there are figures a flinging ten to one thou wilt be found sitting in a Knaues skinne and so be hangd Hollow there giue me the beard I wore yesterday O beware of a gray beard and a balde head for if such a one doo but nod it is right dudgin and deepe discretion But soft I must now make a graue speach There is small difference between Swallowes Martins either in shape or nature saue onely that the Martins haue a more beetle head they both breed in Churches and hauing fledgde their young ones leaue nothing behind them but durt Vnworthie to come into the Church porch or to be nourished vnder anie good mans eues that gnawe the bowels in which they were bred and defile the place in which they were ingendred They studie to pull downe Bishopps and set vp Superintendents which is nothing else but to raze out good Greeke enterline bad Latine A fine period but I cannot continue this stile let me fal into my olde vaine O do ost remember howe that Bastard Iunior complaines of brothells and talkes of long Megg of Westminster A craftie iacke you thoght because you twitted Mar-martin that none would suspect you yes faith Martin you shall bee thresht with your owne flaile It was one of your neast that writt this for a loue letter to as honest a womā as euer burnt malt Grace mercie and peace to thee O widow with feruent motions of the spirit that it may worke in thee both to will and to doo Thou knowest my loue to thee is as Paules was to the Corinthians that is the loue of copulation How now holie Martin is this good wooing If you prophane the Scriptures it is a pretie wit if we but alledge Doctors to expound them wee are wicked If Martin oppresse his neighbor why hee saith it is his conscience if anie else doo right it is extremitie Martin may better goe into a brothell house then anie other go by it he slides into a bad place like the Sunne all others stick in it like pitch If Martin speake broad bawdrie why all the crue saies your worship is passing merrie Martin will not sweare but with indeede in sooth in truth hee 'le cogge the die of deceipt and cutte at the bumme-carde of his conscience O sweetelie brought in at least three figures in that line besides the witant One there was and such a one as Martin would make the eldest of his Elders that hauing fortie angels sent him for a beneuolence refusde to giue the poore fellowe a quittance for the receipt saying Christ had giuen his master a quittaunce the same howre he told it out this was at his table where he sate with no lesse than fortie good dishes of the greatest dainties in more pompe than a Pope right like a superintendant Now to the two bastards what were you twins It shuld seeme so for there wēt but a paire of sheeres betweene your knaueries When the olde henne hatcht such eggs the diuell was in the cocks comb Your father thrusts you forward remember pettie Martins Aes●ps crab the mother going backward exhorted her sonnes to goe forward doo you so first mother quoth they and we will follow Now the old cuckold hath puld in his hornes he would make you creepe cleane out of the shell so both loose your houses and shewe your nakednesse You go about impossibilities we le no such chāge and if ye had it ye would be wearie of it There was a man like Martin that had a goose which euerie daie laid him a golden egge hee not content with the blessing kild his goose thinking to haue a myne of golde in her bellie and finding nothing but dung the gāder wisht his goose aliue Martinists that liue well by the Church receiue great benefites of it thinke if all Churches were downe they should be much better but when they shall see cōfusion in stead of discipline atheisme to be found in place of doctrine will they not with sighs wish the Churches and Bishops in their wonted gouernmēt Thou art well seen in tales preachest Aesops fables Tush I le bring in Pueriles and Stans puer ad mensam for such vnmannerlie knaues as Martin must bee set againe to their A. B. C and learne to spell Our Father in a Horne booke Mantin Iunior giues warning that none write against reuerent Martin yes there are atribus ad centum from three to an hūdred that haue vowed to write him out of his right wittes and wee are all Aptots in all cases alike till we haue brought Martin to the ablatiue case that is to bee taken away with Bulls voyder O here were a notable full point to leaue Martin in the hangmans apron Nay he would be glad to scape with hanging wee le first haue him lashte through the Realme with cordes that when hee comes to the gallowes he may be bleeding new The babie comes in with Nunka Neame and Dad Pappe with an hatchet for such a puppie giue the infant a bibbe he all to beslauers his mother tongue if he driuell so at the mouth and nose wee le haue him wipte with a hempen wispe Hui How often hast thou talkt of haltring Whie it runnes still in my minde that they must be hangd Hangde is the Que and it comes iust to my purpose There was one endited at a Iaile deliuerie of felonie for taking vp an halter by the high way The Iurie gaue verdit and said guiltie The Iudge an honest man said it was hard to find one guiltie for taking vp a penie halter and bad them
Cedar that knitteth it selfe with such wreaths into the earth that it cannot be remooued by any violent force of the aire Martin I haue taken an inuentorie of al thy vnciuill and rakehell tearmes and could sute them in no place but in Bedlam and Bridewell so mad they are and so bad they are and yet all proceedes of the spirit I thinke thou art possest with the spirites of Iacke Straw the Black-smith who so they might rent in peeces the gouernment they would drawe cuts for religion If all be conscience let conscience bee the foundation of your building not the glasse shew effects of conscience mildnesse in spirit obedience to Magistrates loue to thy brethren Stitch charitie to thy faith or rip faith from thy works If thou wilt deale soberlie without scoffes thou shalt be answered grauely without iests yea and of those whom thou canst not controll for learning nor accuse for ill life nor shouldst contemne for authorie But if like a restie Iade thou wilt take the bitt in thy mouth and then runne ouer hedge and ditch thou shalt be brokē as Prosper broke his horses with a muzroule portmouth and a martingall and so haue thy head runne against a stone wall If thou refuse learning and sticke to libelling if nothing come out of those lauish lips but taunts not without bitternesse yet without wit rayling not without spite yet without cause then giue me thy hand thou and I will trie it out at the cucking-stoole I le make thee to forget Bishops English and weep Irish next hanging there is no better reuenge on Martin than to make him crie for anger for there is no more sullen beast than a he drab I le make him pull his powting croscloath ouer his beetle browes for melancholie and then my next booke shall be Martin in his mubble fubbles HEre I was writing Finis and Funis and determined to lay it by till I might see more knauerie filde in within a while appeared olde Martin with a wit worn into the socket twinkling and pinking like the snuffe of a candle quantum mutatus ab illo how vnlike the knaue hee was before not for malice but for sharpnesse The hogshead was euen come to the hauncing and nothing could be drawne from him but dregs yet the emptie caske sounds lowder than when it was ful and protests more in his waining than he could performe in his waxing I drew neere the sillie soule whom I found quiuering in two sheetes of protestation paper O how meager and leane hee lookt so creast falne that his combe hung downe to his bill and had I not been sure it was the picture of enuie I shoulde haue sworne it had been the image of death so like the verie Anatomie of mischiefe that one might see through all the ribbes of his conscience I began to crosse my selfe and was readie to say the Pater noster but that I knewe he carde not for it and so vsed no other wordes but abi in malam crucem because I knewe that lookt for him I came so neere that I could feele a substantiall knaue from a sprites shadowe I sawe through his paper coffen that it was but a cosening corse and one that had learnde of the holie maid of Kent to lie in a trance before he had brought foorth his lie drawing his mouth awrie that could neuer speake right goggling with his eyes that watred with strong wine licking his lips and gaping as though he should loose his childes nose if he had not his longing to swallowe Churches and swelling in the paunch as though he had been in labour of a little babie no bigger than rebellion but truth was at the Bishoppes trauaile so that Martin was deliuered by sedition which pulls the monster with yron from the beastes bowells When I perceiued that he masked in his rayling robes I was so bolde as to pull off his shrowding sheete that all the world might see the olde foole daunce naked T is not a peniworth of protestation that can buy thy pardon nor al worth a penie that thou proclaimest Martin comes in with bloud bloud as though hee should bee a martir Martins are mad martirs some of them burnt seauen yeares agoe and yet aliue One of them lately at Yorke pulling out his napkin to wipe his mouth after a lie let drop a surgeans caliuer at his foote where he stood these fellowes can abide no pompe and yet you see they cannot be without a little squirting plate rub no more the curtall wrinches They call the Bishops butchers I like the Metaphore wel such calues must be knockt on the head and who fitter than the Fathers of the Church to cut the throates of heresies in the Church Nay whē they haue no propertie of sheepe but bea their fleece for flockes not cloath their rotten flesh for no dish but ditches I thinke them woorth neither the tarring nor the telling but for their scabbednes to bee thrust from the pinfolde to the scaffold and with an Habeas corpus to remooue them from the Shepheards tarre-boxe to the hangmans budget I but he hath sillogismes in pike sauce and arguments that haue been these twentie yeres in pickle I picke hell you shall not finde such reasons they bee all in celarent and dare not shewe their heads for wee will answere them in ferio and cut their combes So say they their bloud is sought Their bloud What should wee doo with it when it will make a dogge haue the toothach to eate the puddings Martin tunes his pipe to the lamentable note of Ora whine meg O t is his best daunce next shaking of the sheetes but hee good man meant no harme by it No more did one of his minions that thinking to rap out an oath and sweare by his conscience mistooke the word and swore by his concupiscence not vnlike the theefe that in stead of God speede sayd stand and so tooke a purse for God morowe Yet dooth Martin hope that all her Maiesties best subiects will become Martinists a blister of that tongue as bigge as a drummes head for if the Queenes Maiestie haue such abiects for her best subiects let all true subiects be accompted abiects They that teare the boughs will hew at the tree and hauing once wet their feete in factions will not care how deepe they wade in treason After Martin had racked ouer his protestation with a Iades pace hee runnes ouer his fooleries with a knaues gallop ripping vp the souterlie seames of his Epistle botching in such frize iestes vppon fustion earnest that one seeing all sortes of his shreddes would thinke he had robd a taylors shop boord and then hee concludes all doggedlie with Doctor Bullens dogge Spring not remembring that there is not a better Spanniell in England to spring a couie of queanes than Martin Hee sliues one has a fling at another a long tale of his talboothe of a vulnerall sermon and of a fooles head in souce This