that Nature indicated thereby what must relieve and rising up in my Bed I stretched out my left Arm and humbly committing my self and the Success to God said I would Bleed again The Physicians then consented and proceeded to the Operation and opening a Vein in my Left Arm the Blood sprang out so abundantly that they drew at least ten Ounces After the closing the Orifice being laid down again My Dearest Dear who had been all my Sickness my tenderest Nurse my wakefull Watcher and all yea more than could be wished or expected or possibly performed without a spring of so strong and endearing Affection to give and guide the Motion became my Chaplain if I may have leave to use such an Expression and before the Symptoms she hath mentioned arrived at their height kneeled down by my Bed-side and wrestled with God in Prayer with such spiritual Fervency and expressed herself so appositely so pertinently so suitably and with such holy Ardour poured out her Soul to God as I never knew exceeded if equalled by the ablest Christian or Minister in all my Life Surely if ever the promise of pouring out a Spirit of Grace and Supplication was signally made good it was then made good to her and the effects of it to me for as she was a true Daughter of Abraham an Israelitess indeed she rose from her Knees a Female Israel she prevailed with God I fell into so great a Sweat as was scarce ever known and though the Night was full of the Symptoms she names which so afflicted and affrighted her yet she retained her Presence of Mind to assist me with holiest Words and kindest Deeds In the Morning Symptoms abated and when Dr. Needham came and had felt my Pulse He told me he came directly from Dr. Willis who dyed that day at Eleven a Clock of my Disease but added with a Smile he would not have told me so but that my danger was past and said That under God my last night's Bleeding and Sweating saved my Life without which humanely speaking I could not have escaped blessed be God who put that Resolution into my Mind and heard her earnest Prayers Now to return to her Pious gratefull Words I desire to bless God for every Circumstance of his Mercy in my Dear Husband's Sickness The helps and love of Friends the use of Physick with other means the constant and frequent Visits of Neighbour-Ministers their Prayers for us and of many other Friends and good People in our behalf to which I ascribe a great share of indulgent Mercy in sparing to me a little longer my Dear Husband God did not cast out the Prayer of the Afflicted but in my Distress when I cryed unto him he graciously inclined his Ear unto me and helped me Good Lord enable me with my yet continued Mercy mutually to acknowledge thy Kindness and by an exemplary holy Life to declare thy great Goodness to us Building up each other in our most Holy Faith as Heirs together of the Grace of Life And this Mercy wherewith thou yet intrusts me Lord help me more to improve to my Spiritual Advantage and continue him to length of Days with the abundant Gifts and Graces of thy Holy Spirit a choice and signal Instrument of thy Glory I bless thee for thy supporting Mercy in my Relative Duty in my many sorrowfull Nights and Watchings that when my Sleep departed from me I still might make my Addresses to thee who never slumberest nor sleepest for thou always seest the afflictions of thy People and knowest their Sorrows and wilt not despise them that seek thee thou hast restored Comfort to me and to my Mourners praised be thy Mercy 'T is hard to pass-by her tenderness to me of so recent Date as my last Year's Visitation which held me so many Months and brought me so low and at length settled in my Right-hand with such swelling and lameness as took away its use and under God I owe the recovery of it to her Skill and Pains and Kindness by her frequent bathing fomenting and annointing of it and preparing other both inward and outward Medicines so far to use my Pen to pay this small tribute to her happy Memory SECT X. Of her Lyings-Inn in Child-bearing GOD was pleased to give her strength to go out her full time of eleven Children six Sons and five Daughters besides some abortive or untimely Births And if ever Children were Baptized in their Mothers Belly excuse the Expression doubtless hers were so I mean solemnly Consecrated to God with fervent frequent Prayers and wash'd in a Jordan of her Tears who bore them as truly in her Heart as Womb. I find all their Births recorded with most savory and devout Reflections tho' some with more Enlargement as attended with more signal Circumstances I might transcribe them all that the sweet Spirit of Praise which breaths so fragrantly in every of them might kindle and excite the like Temper in others no Incense being more gratefull to the Nostrils of that God who saith He that offereth Praise glorifieth me but I must contract The twelfth of July 1651 God mercifully Deliver'd me of my first Child In 1652 I being big with-Child had an high Fever and was after a great and very hot fit delivered of a Daughter Aug. 29. Being Lord's Day between four and five in the Morning my Fever turned to an Ague and held me ten Weeks and brought me very low yet God in his Mercy graciously spared me and restored my Health I bless him for it Feb. 5. 54. God delivered me of a third Child our first Son God gave me a fourth Deliverance of a Daughter still-born Dec. 23. 55. I went my full time and might have been ever big Blessed be God that spared his unworthy Creature God gave me a gracious Deliverance of a fifth a Son May 15. 57. God gave me a Mercifull Deliverance of a sixth Child a Daughter June 8. 58. After a long and hard Labour continued three days and three nights in great Extremity all about me despairing of Life God mercifully Delivered me of a seventh Child a Son October 22. 59. which Mercy much affected my Dear Husband and for which my Deliverance I most humbly Bless God I confess I never knew to what degree I loved her till that time and never experienced such Raptures of Joy and Thankfullness for any worldly Matter as on that occasion the Impression of which was so deep that the remembrance of it hath a pleasing relish even to this Day God gave me a gracious Deliverance of an eighth Child a Son still-born after an hard Labour December the 11. 1660. In this Lying-in I fell into Melancholy which much disturbed me with Vapours and was very ill It pleased God to suffer my old Enemy very impetuously to assault me c. But more of this when I touch the return of her Temptation God gave me Deliverance of a ninth Child a Son October 9. 1662. God graciously gave me a
yet more occurred in every one well worth observing To begin with the first day of the Week or the Lord's Day the Queen of days the first-born of all the Children of time in her esteem to which she accounted a double Portion to be due of religious observance and most raised Devotion and always paid it She was scrupulously sollicitous both of the Negative and Positive Duties she judged to be required on that day both to prevent the violation of that holy Rest and to sanctifie it I might subjoin a short Treatise of that Subject if I should collect and put together what I meet with from her own Pen concerning it in several places For the first as she gave it the full dimensions in early rising so she would not suffer it to be intrench'd upon by any works but of absolute Necessity and Mercy ordered things so that her Maids must never make a Cheese that day and would seldom use the Coach to carry her to Church except in extremity of way and weather and though none gave freer welcome on other days would forbear inviting any on that day to prevent diversions and if Friends sometimes came in would as soon as it was possible without uncivil rudeness withdraw into her Chamber After Dinner at which she especially eat sparingly on that day to prevent drowsiness at Church She constantly called all the Family together to hear them read the Scriptures and if any Neighbour were sick within such distance as would not hinder her timely attending publick Worship would not fail to visit them and all the day she practised her self what she oft advised others Isa 58.13 She turned away her foot from the Sabbath from doing her pleasure on God's Holy Day and called the Sabbath her delight the holy of the Lord honourable and honoured him not doing her own ways nor finding her own pleasure nor speaking her own words but delighted herself in the Lord and in his Service For the positive Duties Being early up she spent as much time in dressing her Soul to meet God and as little as was possible in adorning her Body to the Eyes of Men though always with a grave and decent neatness She always retained a profound Reverence for the Name and Presence of God so that she was always attentively devout at Prayers and Sermons to which she brought all her Servants with her that they might not stay loitering idly at home or by the way and her Eye and Example would awe the ruder youth into becoming Carriage for which end she would sometimes rise up and look about her with good effect After publick Worship finished she would retire for a considerable time to recollect and pray over the Sermons and after finishing what was her custom on other days to doe Besides the Servants reading every one a Chapter when my weariness would not allow me to repeat the Sermons she would desire my Curate to read some good Book and oft would she do it her self She read in the Family the Lord's Day the seven night before she died good part of Dr. Sherlock's Treatise of Death and I must say I remember not I ever heard Man or Woman exceed her in this kind I confess with shame I could not doe it so well for tho' she altered not a Syllable of the Author's words her Reading might be called a Reading and giving of the Sense for tho' she read quick she did it so smoothly and distinctly and would place the Emphasis upon some word in every Sentence so intelligently without any affected tone or vehement alteration of her Voice that the change was scarce perceptible not so much as betwixt what we call flat and sharp in Musick and yet would strangely facilitate the understanding of the Sense to low Capacities an infallible evidence of her clear understanding it herself After Family Prayer spending some little time more than on other nights in committing her self to God she went to Bed and adding to her usual Ejaculations Praises for the liberty of another Sabbath Prayers for acceptance of the days Services and pardon for the Iniquities of her holy things she went to rest and such were every Week's First-fruits On Monday Morning awaking with God and having blown off the Ashes which veil'd the Embers kindled by the ardent Fervour of the preceding days Devotions she kindled them into an holy Flame with which having offered up the daily Morning-Sacrifice she next brought her Peace-offerings for the whole House of Israel She had a very publick Spirit and enlarged Heart on which she always bore the concerns of Zion and preferred Jerusalem above her chief Joy She stretched out her craving hands over the World as you 'll find her express her self that the mighty God who calleth the Earth from the rising of the Sun to the going down thereof would shine out of Zion the perfection of Beauty that he would pity them who sit in darkness and the region and shadow of Death that he would destroy Satan's Kingdom and set free those who are in bondage to it that he would exalt the Kingdom of his dear Son till the little Stone cut out of the Mountain without Hands might become a great Mountain and fill the whole World and all the corners of it might see the Salvation of God that he would effectually call out of Babylon his captivated People that yet are detained in it that he would water abundantly with the fruitful Showers of his Grace all the Churches which his own Right-hand hath planted and that he with whom is plenty of Spirit would pour it out abundantly and furnish himself with fit Instruments to carry on the work of his own Glory and Salvation of Souls that he would give Pastors after his own Heart who might feed his People with Knowledge and Vnderstanding that they may be delivered from Ignorance Error Heresie and all Ungodliness that they may adorn the Gospel with such a Conversation as becomes it that all over whom the Name of Christ is called might depart from Iniquity Beseeching the Lord to pour out abundantly the true Spirit of the Gospel on all who made profession of it with all its Operations and Graces as a Spirit of Wisdom Knowledge and the Fear of God of Faith and Holiness Repentance and universal unreserved new Obedience especially as an healing Spirit of Unity and Peace mutual Forbearance true Christian Charity and Brotherly-Love and as a mighty Spirit of Grace and Supplication to obtain these Blessings for themselves and one another for the Churches of the neighbouring Nations round about by name that God would give them one Heart and one way that the nick-names of Lutherans and Calvinists might be forgotten and Ephraim and Judah might be one Stick in the Lord's Hand especially for the distressed Protestants of France that God would turn his Anger from them cause them to be pitied by their Brethren and effectually relieved that God would shew them why he contended with them help
improve their Intellectuals to season their tender Hearts with a due Sense of Religion that they might be glorious within she having no desire so Pathetick no Joy so great as to see her Children walking in the Truth and in the Love and Practice of Serious Holiness To promote and forward this she taught them to Read as soon as they could pronounce their Letters yea before they could speak plain and sowed the Seed of early Pious Knowledge in their tender Minds by a plain familiar Catechism suited to their Capacity whilst very young which I find among her Papers that serious things might have the first Possession of their Hearts and would strictly charge the Servants not to tell them foolish Stories or teach them idle Songs which might tincture their Fancies with vain or hurtfull Imaginations and choak the good Seed of Pious Instruction or draw them from it When they had attained the first and smallest Sense of God she would cause them to kneel down and lift up their little Hands and Eyes to Heaven those humble Gestures being the silent Language of Natural Religion then would she dictate to them such easie words of Prayer as were most level to their budding Reason And when they arrived at four or five years old she would teach them somewhat a larger Prayer and cause them to go by themselves till they were accustomed to doe it of their own accord and as they grew up gave them directions concerning Prayer of which I find a Treatise which I would have called an excellent one had it not been hers so nearly Related to me of which more e'er long When they could read tolerably well she caused them to get by Heart choice Sentences of Scripture then whole Psalms and Chapters which she oft called them to repeat and gave them small pecuniary Rewards to encourage them and that they might have somewhat of their own to give to the Poor and when she gave Farthings or Victuals to travelling People at the Door she would cause a Child to give it to them to accustome them to be Charitable And in this Pious Maternal Care did she spend good part of every day which should not have been omitted when I gave account how she spent a Day and Week When they had learned the Church-Catechism she would have them answer publickly that the meaner sort might be ashamed not to send their Children and the poor Children might be quickned and encouraged by their Example and Company And having observed that many would read commendably in the Bible where the Sentences are shorter and the distinction of the Verses and frequent use much helped them who could scarce doe it intelligibly in other Books where the Periods are longer and not so well distinguished She would give them other Books and often hear them read them and would make a prudent choice of Books of Instruction and Devotion and sometimes usefull Histories as the Book of Martyrs and Abbreviations of our English Chronicles and Lives of Holy Exemplary Persons especially of those who were so while Young that she might doe several things at once both perfect their Reading and inform their Judgments and inflame their Affections to an imitation of their early Piety She was also very Circumspect not only to keep their Morals untainted from Pride Immodesty Lying Contempt of or deriding others for their natural Infirmities telling Tales or causing Debate or Anger and the like shewing them the evil of those Courses but also of their Gestures and Carriage that they might contract no indecent Habitudes or uncomely Postures which might expose them to Contempt but above all of this kind pressing them to Cleanliness and Neatness intimating that it was a sign and evidence in some measure of inward Purity and would often tell them that though all neat People were not good yet almost all good People were neat and that she had rather see an Hole in their Cloaths than a Spot upon them I pass by her Diligence in Teaching them whetever might fit them for all Family-Imployments in Pastry and Seasoning of which her Friends were use to say her Hand was never out causing them to transcribe her best Receipts for things which were curious but especially for Medicines with Directions how to use them that if God had spared their Lives they might have been as usefull in their Generation as God vouchsafed her the Honour to be in hers But I must by an inforced Brevity deny my self the pleasure of recording more lest by a seeming Prolixity I displease others and hasten to finish this Section with transcribing what her dear Pen had prepared for her Children many years ago and I never saw till I was bereaved of her For my Dear Children Mrs. Margaret and Mrs. Elizabeth Walker A Collection of Scriptures some to excite and move to c. Then follows many Heads under which they are ranked but because the order is changed in the Book it self I shall rather touch the order in which they are at large set down Then she concludes what I may call the Title-Page with these words Directed to each of them singularly All which to the Glory of God I humbly beg may be to your Souls Advantage so Prays with most earnest Request to God for thee thy Ever Loving whilst Living Mother Elizabeth Walker The first she begins with bears this Title It is the Duty of Christians to pray fervently and frequently with Faith with Humility with Sincerity with Constancy with Watchfulness in the Spirit with warmth and Life Then she begins with a description of Prayer what it is both as a means of Worship whereby we honour and give Glory to God and a means of Grace whereby we obtain Mercy and Help from him and subjoins in seven large Pages whatever she conceived Expedient and usefull for its answering both those ends all which she confirms with most apposite and proper Scriptures and Examples I thought to have abbreviated it here but when I went about it I could not find one Line to be omitted as useless or that might well be spared therefore must wholly pass it by or add it intirely in the Appendix amongst some other Papers of hers The second Head is this It is the duty of those whom God blesseth with the good things of this Life to supply the necessities of those who want them which God's Word as our Rule abundantly expresseth or a Collection of Scriptures to excite to a liberal Distribution to the Necessity of the Poor for with such Sacrifices God is well pleased Then she adds three Pages of such Scriptures Judiciously chosen The third Head Divers Scriptures which exhort to Meekness of Spirit This contains six Pages Then follows this single Page without Title which I shall transcribe with my Pen because she did it so signally in her Practice that it contains her Picture to the Life and was to teach her Daughters what they should be Prov. 12.4 A Vertuous Woman is a Crown to her
Advantage her much bewailed Death to prepare for which had been her daily work for many Years which happened February the 23d this present Year 1690. Her Sickness was short but blessed be God her great Work was not then to do She began to complain Wednesday Noon but dined with me took her Bed that Afternoon with design to sweat with a Dose of the Lady Kent's Powder but could not sweat I sent for Dr. Yardly early Thursday Morning a Vein was opened other Administrations ordered which seemed to succeed so well that we had scarce any apprehensions of Danger She sate up four hours Saturday till seven at Night and thought herself and so did we refreshed and better by it but a complicated Disease a Rheumatism Erysipelas and Peripneumonia by God's Wise and Holy Righteous Ordering prevailed against her Strength and our Hopes And on the Lord's Day she passed to her dearest Lord and the well-beloved Bridegroom of her Soul to begin that Eternal Sabbath which shall never be interrupted nor cease She spake not much in her Sickness hindred by the shortness of her Breath and swelling of her Face What she did was suitable to her Holy Life and I believe God hid from her as well as us the near approach of her Death in Mercy to us all One of the last Words she spake to me was before my going to Church A short Prayer my Dear before thou goest She was Buried February the 27th following with that decency which is fitter for others to relate than my self and now she sleeps in Jesus who by his Burial perfumed and warmed that Bed of the Grave for all his Members where we leave her in hopes of a Glorious Resurrection when her Dust shall rise to praise him AN APPENDIX Containing some few of the Directions she wrote for her Childrens Instruction mentioned Sect. 12. And some few Letters written by her I Desire it may be remembred she wrote these not for grown and experienced Christians who might be fitter to instruct her than be assisted by her much less with the least Prospect they should ever be published or seen by many Eyes my own never saw them till hers were closed but I hope may be useful for young ones and Beginners and as such I recommend them to her Friends to communicate to their Children if they think good and have not given them better of their own and therefore it is not just to measure her Abilities by the scantling of this Performance but to consider the End to which it was designed to suit the Capacities and assist the tender Minds of those for whom they were written when I guess they might be about twelve or fourteen years of Age for one of them died at sixteen and with this equitable Allowance I hope they may be very passable if not commendable and usefull For my Dear Children Mrs. Margaret and Elizabeth Walker IT is the duty of Christians to Pray fervently and frequently with Faith with Humility with Sincerity with Constancy with watchfulness in the Spirit with Warmth and Life Prayer is a means whereby we give Worship to God giving him the Glory of all his adorable Perfections Prayer is the Soul's Motion to God Desire and Expectation are the Soul of Prayer Prayer is a knocking at the Door of God's Grace and Mercy in Christ for all manner of Supplies you stand in need of Prayer is a Wrestling with God the Lord is willing to forgive ready to hear and help yet he delighteth to have his Strength tryed Gen. 32.24 25. The work of Prayer is not so much to lift up the Hands and Eyes and Voice as to lift up the Heart and Soul In Prayer is required extensiveness and intensiveness of Mind and Heart with Importunity which consisteth in a frequent renewing of our Suits to God notwithstanding all discouragements with a patient waiting for returns of Grace Prayer must be a Premeditated Work as to the Sins to be confessed the Wants expressed the Mercies acknowledged but especially to have right apprehensions of the Purity Majesty Immensity All-sufficiency Fidelity and Bounty of the Lord to whom you Pray with Faith in his Promises and Providences and his Almightiness to supply your Wants in the things of this Life and the Life to come Be much with God in Secret Prayer and let not the fire of the Spirit and Holy Zeal be wanting in any Duty which in the Hearts of God's People send out Holy Vapours of fragrant spiritual Desires and Requests to God Vials full of Odours which are the Prayers of the Saints Rev. 5.8 compared to sweet Incense Mal. 1.11 How near are the Saints thus exercised to Jesus Christ There is but a step as it were between them and Heaven What precious answers of Grace receive they oftentimes from the Oracle of God You will do well to observe the fittest Season for Secret Prayer though a Christian is to Pray at all times yet at sometimes more especially when we meet with any new Occurrence of Providence every fresh dispensation of Providence is a prompt to Prayer as when any Affliction befalls us Jam. 5.13 So when any fresh Mercy is received it is a fit season to go aside and to acknowledge God's Goodness and our own Vnworthiness 2 Sam. 7.18 When you find the Spirit of God moving upon your Soul exciting you to the Duty Cant. 2.10 your Hearts should answer again Thy Face Lord will I seek Psal 27.5 When you find your Heart in a settled and composed Frame then also is a fit season for secret Prayer When as David's your Heart is fixed not disturbed with any Secular Business The Morning also is a fit Season for Secret Prayer the Mind is most composed and troubled with fewest Diversions See her Practise Sect. 5. pag. 33. It were well to be with God as soon as you awake to offer up to him the first-Fruits of every Day this was with others David's manner Psal 5.3.139.3 The Evening also is a fit Season for Secret Prayer Psal 55.17 not only to begin but to conclude the Day with God Sleep not till you have begged his Pardon for your Sins committed and Praised him for the Mercies received that Day When you go about any Holy Duty set by all Worldly Occasions say to them as Abraham did to his Young-men Stay you here while I go aside and Worship God Gen. 22.5 Do not ordinarily go to Prayer when your Anger is stirred and your Mind full of Perturbation 1 Tim. 2.8 lest you offer up the Sacrifice of a Fool 1 Kings 19.11 12. and speak unadvisedly with your Lips Do not actually engage in Prayer when you are inclined to Sleep and Drowsiness you must be wakefull when you Pray if you would watch unto Prayer Also allot and set out a due Proportion of Time for the Duty of Prayer a slighty huddled Prayer is a blind Sacrifice carlessness in Prayer breedeth and feedeth Inconstancy and Instability in Prayer Slightiness in Prayer is an
Kingdom of Satan may fall and the Kingdom of Christ be exalted that the Gospel may continue where it is and sent where it is not and received in the Love of it through the World Pray for all afflicted as their case requires and with thy Prayers and Praises give thanks to God for the prime Fountain of all his Mercies Christ Jesus In particular thou mayst mention at the Throne of Grace what Christ hath done and suffered for humble contrite Sinners Labour and beg for such a frame of Spirit such God not despise Express thy thankfulness for what Christ hath instituted and ordained in his Church for the Benefit and good of his People Thou mayst in particular express with Prayers and Praises That all may be applicatory to thy self These are short hints thou mayst enlarge God giving thee his Spirit of Grace and Supplication Let not vain Thoughts mingle with religious Duties beware of those wandring Vagrants do not take such Company with thee when thou drawest near to God in any Religious performance lest it be like offering strange fire provoke God rather to consume than bless thee but keep off those busie Flies they may not corrupt thy Sacrifice Say to all disturbing Thoughts as Abraham said to his Servants when he went to the Mount to Sacrifice Stay you here below till I go to Worship God Fervent Prayer is very prevalent with God of it may be said what is said of Faith which is a justifying Grace without which it is impossible to please God Heb. 11. For he that cometh to God must believe that he is and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him Good works are the Life of Faith being well performed for matter and manner without which Faith is Dead and God is not the God of the dead but of the living as the body without the spirit is dead so without works faith is dead also St. James 2. The great things a lively Faith hath done fervent Prayer hath done the same The little Book I sent thee was thy dear Mother's it is a good Discourse of Prayer Dear Johnny let thy Prayers and Praises with the sweet Incense of thy Love to God be offered to him on the golden Altar of an humble and sincere Heart in the mediation of Jesus Christ and put no religious Duty off with that foolish idle Excuse I have not time lest thou as the foolish Virgins were be unfurnish'd of Oil for the Lamp of thy Christian Profession and for thy neglect shut out of the Kingdom of Heaven If Time for Play Recreation Eating Sleeping or the like a due proportion of Time may be gained from them for thy best therefore thy most concern those indispensable Duties on which thy eternal welfare so much depends the neglect of them may be thy inevitable Ruine in this Life and that to come for Godliness hath the promise of both Therefore seek the Kingdom of Heaven in the first place and the things of this present Life shall be added to thee as may be good for thee The things of this World compared to God and Heaven are but Straws and Pibbles St. Paul calls them dross and Luther said The whole Turkish Empire is but a Crust God throws to the Dog God hath provided better things for those that love and seek him In this world is our preparatory Life for our future Estate I have oft said to thee That all Men are about this great Business but in a different way to a different end Good Men prepare for Heaven and Wicked Men prepare for Hell therefore avoid the broad-way of a sinfull Life which leads to Destruction chuse that way which comparatively few find the way of an holy Life the end of which is Peace which the World cannot give Dear Johnny Do not deferr thy great concern to serve God and save thy Soul more worth than Ten thousand Worlds Many much younger than thee have set about this great work Thou hast oft read Mr. Smythies's Book of the Benefit of early Piety also thou hast had a civil and religious Education and many more Prayers than thou art Days old Thy dear Grandfather's Care Counsel and Prayers mine have not been wanting as far as able to perform in my care and love of thee let them not condemn thee but labour to answer the end of them that thou mayst not disappoint God and us to thy own detriment and loss Dear Johnny where much is given the more will be required Time is precious use all lawfull Industry and Diligence for thy well being in this World and make all subservient for a better to come Thou knowest not how long God may continue thy Friends to thee She was not continued three Months nay thy own Life is uncertain all things in this World are so and there is no retrieving an Errour on the other side of Death Do not procrastinate take the wise Man's Counsel what thy hand findeth to doe doe it with all thy might which inferrs speed and diligence for the obtaining internal and external Blessings Deferring made St. Augusting cry out Too late too late Lord did I love thee Dear Johnny Do not put God off with a decrepid Love and the chill Spirits of old age and bodily Infirmity by which the operative Faculties of thy Soul through the organical Powers of the Body may be obstructed with defect and impeded with the ill Habits and Customs of Sin Avoid this Danger give to God the vigour and strength of thy Life let it be without blemish By God's appointment the young was brought to him in Sacrifice Do thou as Righteous Abel give to God thy firstlings thy first Love and suffer no Rival or Competitour with it it was the Test Christ put to his Disciples If ye love me keep my Commandments Dear Johnny I used to mind thee St. John thy own name let him be thy Example in thy Love to God he was the youngest Disciple most eminent in Christ's Love He was called the Disciple whom Jesus loved Dear Johnny Be not taken with the Gauds and Vanities of this World in any of the profers of it they will bite like an Adder and sting like a Serpent if they draw thy Heart from God Be not deceived by them they will put a lye in thy right-hand promising more than they can give Be not affected with vain Glory it is but a Puff of breath soon exhaled and will vanish from thee Yea so are all the things of this World for the duration of them Remember thy Baptismal Covenant with God thou didst promise to forsake the Pomps and Vanities of this World the Devil and all his Works and sinfull Appetites to them I was a Witness to this Engagement and one of thy Sureties Dear Johnny let thy Baptismal Vow through Grace preserve thy Morals untainted Let none be corrupted by thy ill Example and be not thou infected by the evil manners of others Speak no obscene or scurrilous Language
Husband but she that maketh ashamed is as Rottenness to his Bones Prov. 31.17 She looketh well to the ways of her Houshold and cateth not the Bread of Idleness She stretcheth forth her Hands to the Poor yea she reacheth forth her Hands to the needy She riseth also while it is yet Night and giveth Meat to her Houshold Col. 3.18 Wives Submit your selves to your own Husbands as is fit in the Lord. Eph. 5.22 Wives submit your selves unto your own Husbands as unto the Lord and the Wife see that she Reverence her Husband 1 Pet. 3.1 6. and ver 3 4 Likewise ye Wives be in Subjection to your own Husbands even as Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord. Let not your adorning be platting of the Hair wearing of Gold or putting on of Apparel But let it be the hidden Man of the Heart in that which is not corruptible even the Ornament of a meek and quiet Spirit which in the Sight of God is of great Price Good Lord grant me this with all the other Graces of thy Holy Spirit Amen Amen Amen This last named Scripture was the Glass which she always drest herself by with exemplary modest Decency as became a grave and holy Matron and a Minister's Wife as she would often urge as one reason of the plainness of her garb which was never sordid or negligent though always in Black never appeared abroad in any other Colour so much as to a Knot or Ribbon I with great Thankfulness acknowledge she was my Crown and Glory and thâ— Heart of her Husband did safely trust in her The fourth Head which she Collected out oâ— the Scriptures for her Childrens use is Thâ— Threatnings in God's Word he hath denounc'â— against Sinners to keep your Hearts in aâ— awfull Fear that you neglect not God remembring that as he has and was so he stiâ—â— is and will be Just in the Punishment of thâ— Breach of his most Holy and Righteous Commands in observing of which there is greâ—â— Rewards If his Wrath be kindled but a little who can abide it but who knows the Power oâ— it How then shall we be able to dwell witâ— Everlasting Burnings and devouring Fire Stand in Awe therefore and Sin not Then follow no less than forty nine Pageâ— closely written of God's severe Threatningâ— against Sin and Sinners in general and the particular kinds of Sin all exactly cited as to thâ— Book Chapter and Verse Oh how richly diâ— the Word of God dwell in her How did shâ— Meditate in it Day and Night That she coulâ— so readily turn to almost any place only by heâ— own Memory and Observation for she woulâ— sometimes though seldom come to me intâ— my Study and say Pray My Dear tell me wherâ— are such Words repeating them for I know noâ— how to find them by a Concordance never having used one The fifth Head The Promises for the Pardon of Sin the faithful Sayings of God worthy of all Acceptation Jesus Christ came into the World to Save Sinners yea the chief of Sinners in him all the Promises are yea and in him Amen Then she begins with Gen. 3.15 He shall â—ruise thy Head a very comfortable Word to â—er who had so many Conflicts with the Old â—erpent her Enemy as she always called him Then follows a choice Collection in ten Pages which she concludes with Rom. 10. For the â—cripture saith Whosoever believeth in him shall â—ot be ashamed The Sixth Head The Promises to Perseverance in Grace God which begins a good Work in the Hearts of his People will perfect it for he works all our Works in us and for us and to him be the Glory who is the Author and Finisher for we are kept by the Power of God through Faith unto Salvation Then follow twenty nine Pages of such Promises The seventh Head The Promises in Affliction for Support and Comfort God doth not willingly grieve the Children of Men there has no Temptation overtaken you but such as is common But God in his Faithfulness will not suffer it to be above Strength but will with the Temptation also make a way to escape for he knows our Frame whereof we are made and will not contend for Ever Then folloâ— twenty one Pages of these Promises upoâ— Habak 1.12 Art not thou from Everlasting O Lord my God my Holy one we shall not dyâ— She adds Blessed be God for these Words anâ— all his blessed Promises for which a Reasoâ— will appear afterwards when she shews whaâ— support they yielded her in an hour of Temptation in the close she directs her Words 〈◊〉 her Children for whose use chiefly she haâ— taken this Pains Having these great and precious Promiseâ— cleanse your selves from all filthiness of Flesh anâ— Spirit perfecting Holiness in the Fear of God For Godliness hath the Promises of this Lifâ— and of the Life to come therefore seek first tâ—â— Kingdom of Heaven and its Righteousnesâ— and all these things shall be added unto you Theâ— concludes thus I intend not by this Collection of Promiseâ— and Threatnings transcrib'd out of Scripture 〈◊〉 take you off from the Historical and preceptâ—ry part of God's word to which as nothing 〈◊〉 to be added so nothing is to be diminish'd froâ— it but only to get Wine and Oil near-hand these precious Cordials not far off when mosâ— need of them therefore I request and chargâ— your Conscientious Reading all the Truths oâ— God revealed in your Bible the Holy Scriptures The eighth Head An abbreviation of Faith and Christian Principles which saith she I have collected out of divers Authors with some things of my own conceptions as God helped my understanding This contains eleven Pages and is a very judicious and usefull and methodicall discourse but because she distinguisheth not between what was her own and what she collected from others I transcribe nothing out of it She concludes it thus These Truths I do with the best of my judgment assent to and beseech God to establish my heart in the firm belief of his Word Good Lord let my Faith be sound and saving also The ninth Head I may call a Body of Divinity which she gives no intimation whether it were collected from others or of her own Composure as she did in what went before and therefore I have reason to think it was her own It begins with a description of God as to his Essence Persons and Attributes then proceeds to his works of Creation and Providence c. and proves by apposite Scriptures all she sets down 'T is very methodical and clear in 44 Pages If I have any judgment an able Divine need not be ashamed to own it and I think it would be no reproach to wish That all could exceed it When she hath spoken of Death and the Resurrection she adds Good Lord fit me for a dying hour Bring me to it In thy infinite Mercy be with me in it and carry me through it And after three Pages in which she describes
sometimes two by the Glass She would be attentive at the reading the Scriptures in the Family and ask her Sister the meaning of some Passages she understood not She would constantly goe alone to Prayer She told one of the Maids the Devil tempted her to Play at Prayers but she had pray'd against him and that he did not trouble her so much since She desired one of her Sisters to grant her a Request and said that she must not deny her Which was Not to refuse any good Counsel when ever it was given her but to accept of it from whom soever it came Another time being with her Sisters as they sate at Work she told them all those things would be dirt in Heaven And it most concerned them to get their Sins Pardoned and an Interest in Jesus Christ Discoursing of the Vanity of this World and Happiness of being Good and fit for Heaven As she had opportunity she would frequently be giving good Counsel with much Sweetness and Gravity If she were ill she would strive to hide it for fear of Grief to her Father and my self saying when we ask'd her how she did Pretty well I thank God Four Days before she died when the Maid went to help her up in the Morning she told her she was very Sick but God would doe her good by that Sickness and she should love him the better for it In this last and short sickness she had very serious apprehensions of Death Said she should die but was not afraid of Death And desired she might die quietly and without disturbance The Physician desiring to give her a little Wine ask'd her if she loved Sack she answered No. He desired her to take a little She said she would if he pleased but she did not love it to fuddle with A few hours before she died she desired to go to Bed out of which she had been taken by reason of the Flegm that troubled her and I being unwilling she said she would now go to Bed for adieu and for all Where she fell a sleep in Jesus enfolded in the Arms of Everlasting Mercies She resigned up her Soul with these and the like Expressions Lord let me come to thee my Lord and my God And Lord Jesus receive my Spirit I acknowledge the Words were given her but she readily received them and oft repeated though she could not speak but with difficulty she had been so affable and winning to all Rich and Poor that many shed more Tears for her than at the departure of their own Children she was much desired in Life and of all who knew her much lamented at Death How partial soever this Relation may seem to any and as from bribed Affection yet I assert the Truth to God's Goodness who hath ordained Praises in the Mouths of Babes and Sucklings and hath I humbly hope now perfected the same in the Consummation of her Eternal Bliss in the Fruition of himself to his Everlasting Praises I have hitherto in this Account left out many remarkable Passages for Brevity let me obtain liberty to transcribe the rest of the Paragraph verbatim word for word as her Pen left it Lord I bless thee that of Eleven for whom I Praise thee thou hast yet spared me two I beseech thee if it may consist with thy good Pleasure continue them in this World keeping them from the Evil of it to a good Old-Age choice Instruments of thy Glory God Lord Sanctifie them with thy Grace and holy-Holy-Spirit and with an Indelible Character and Inscription stamp thy own Image on them that they may be thine by Grace and Adoption Lord be thou their God and Portion I beseech thee put them not off with any thing less than thy self Good Lord I beg that thou wilt take a through and full Possession of their Souls and give them to retrieve my Errors by a more early knowing serving and loving of thee and punish none of mine Iniquities with their Sins but keep them blameless to thy Everlasting Kingdom and bind up their Souls in the bundle of Eternal Life Amen Amen January 23. 1669. Was a day of Mercy to me in the midst of my Affliction being Lord's Day my sweet Mary lying then Dead with us in the House the extremity of my Affection forced me into the Chamber where she then lay a cold piece of Clay I there poured out my Soul to God in Prayer and from thence returned into to the Chamber of my signal Mercies I have received from God who comforteth those who are cast down Though he denied my vehement Desires and wrestlings with him in the time of her Sickness for her longer continuance with me in this World the Lord abundantly made up and compensated my Loss I took my Bible and my Intention was to Read in the New-Testament to allay my own Grief with the dolorous Sufferings of my Saviour but my Bible suddenly fell open in my Lap and my Eye presently fixed upon Habbak 1.12 which was powerfully set home upon my Heart with great Comfort and Refreshment with full Measure running over streams of Mercy and Loving Kindness yeaâ— of tenderest Mercies flowing into my Soul an Eternal God in exchange of a transient Comfort The Lord tendered me himself who is from Everlasting with this Propriety the Lord my God opposing his all-sufficient Righteousness against all my Unrighteousness My Holy One I should not Dye but Live Lord how hast thou silenced my inordinate Passions and Affections in superabundantly out-bidding all Creature-Comforts and Relations I beseech thee enable me so to live here that I may ever live with thee where I shall sin no more and Grief Sorrow and Sighing shall flee away The same Lord's Day in the Afternoon my Daughter Elizabeth whom God gave me June 8. 1658. to our great Satisfaction and Comfort suddenly broke out into a Flood of Tears and most Pathetical Vehement Desires after God and his Grace with Confession and bewailing of her Sins with such sensible and suitable Expressions as shewed it came from her very Soul which drew plenty of Tears of Love and Admiration from us all O my God how shall I love thee how shall I Praise thee for this Grace which I trust was the Work of thy Blessed Spirit Good Lord confirm and establish the Thoughts of her Heart before thee for Ever This day was a Tragi-Comedy if I may so speak Bitterness turn'd into surprizing Sweetness Weeping had continued for a Night but Joy came in before the succeeding Morning even Joy unspeakable and full of Glory I never remembred my Dear under such transports of Spiritual Peace and Satisfaction as from the Consolations of God from the Manifestations of his Love which flowed into her Soul from that Scripture above-named and I may truly say the Impressions of it never wore wholly off but even at many Years distance the naming of those Words would renew the Spiritual Relish she tasted in them and the briny Tears for the natural
all my neglects of my relative Duty I desire to own thy Righteousness and that thou hast punished me less than my Iniquities deserve I bless thee that thou hast spared to me my dear Husband I beseech thee mightily to furnish him with the Gifts and Graces of thy Spirit and give him a long continuance in this Life very instrumental to thy glory the benefit and great advantage of thy Church and People and at last full fruition of thy self in eternal Glory Lord I bless thee that thou still intrusts us Parents to a Child I beseech thee bless this onely one and inable us with much Wisdom and Diligence to exhort instruct and train up for thee her thou hast yet spared to us Good Lord bless her and she shall be blessed Bless her in Soul with the plentifull Effusions of thy Holy Spirit and all the Graces of it Bless her Body with an healthfull Constitution and Honour her with long Life in the ways of Righteousness Suffer not her heart to be set on the gilded Vanities of this World but grant her of the things of this Life what thou thinkest good for her and be thou her God and Portion and when thou shalt conclude her days on Earth I beseech thee receive her to thy heavenly Kingdom Amen Amen I am sensible of the length of the preceding Section and will not make it longer by a needless and useless Apology needless to those who are acquainted with the actings of that sweet Spirit that breathed so fragrantly in her on such occasions and useless to those who are not only Strangers but Enemies to such a temper of Mind and had it contained but twenty lines would have esteemed it too long by fifteen of them I shall endeavour brevity in those which follow SECT XVII Renewed Assaults of her Enemy by Temptation THis was her almost constant trouble for many Years which she used to call emphatically Her Affliction For 't was with her one of his living Members as with our Blessed Lord her and our Head of whom I noted above When the Devil had finished all his present Temptations he departed from him for a season which clearly intimates his returning to renew his Assaults She sometimes had a breathing time vouchsafed her by the gratious Restraints God laid upon her Enemy but usually not very long for using to afford her the best Assistance that I could I sometimes for some Weeks or Months have refrained to mention them that I might not awaken the sleeping Lion and she taking no notice of them I have often said I hope my Dear thou hast been now some good space free from thy Affliction Alas my Dear would she reply with a deep sigh I have kept silence because I would not weary thee with my continual complaints And other whiles would gratefully acknowledge God's goodness in yielding her some Respite some Calms and quiet Intervals Yet after the Day God so strongly comforted her by Habakkuk i. 12. though I cannot say she was wholly free I do not remember she ever complained of her Temptations being either too fierce or frequent as they had been before nor did she once mention them in her last Sickness Blessed be God's goodness to her This cruel but cowardly Enemy usually made his fiercest Onsets when she was exercised with Indisposition of Mind or Body I will give one Instance of each First Under Indisposition of Mind with great Sorrow In the beginning of May 1680. an Affliction befel me my former Troubles returned upon me A wound not healed brake forth with deep Trouble of Mind much Afflicted with blasphemous Suggestions The good Lord rebuke them and with his All-sufficient Grace cast out of my Soul whatever may offend and provoke him to so severe a Scourge which in my own strength I am not able to stand under so unsupportable is the burthen But the good Lord give me to see that by the supporting Grace of his former Compassions I am preserved from the poisonous infection of them Satan taking advantage of my melancholy Disposition growing upon me after the Death of my dearly beloved Child Mrs. Margaret Cox renewed these Assaults And as in such Cases the subtile malitious Enemy will follow his blow home as far as he is suffered and multiply every Molehill into a Mountain as we speak Proverbially so he endeavoured to increase her disquiet by another very small Circumstance For she proceeds in her Complaint I had also a great damp and check on my earnest Endeavours to teach my little Boy his Book He at little more than three Years old would read well in his Primmer on a sudden he forsook it not through any evil Disposition in him I am not able to give an acccount of it but it occasioned me much grief and trouble But I bless God for his Mercy to me Half a Year after I began a-new with him and he hath with greater readiness to it and love of it learned much better than before So indulgently condescending was the divine Goodness to relieve her suitably and prevent the occasions her Enemy catch'd at to disturb her by Secondly Under Indisposition of Body by a long Sickness It pleased God to suffer my old Enemy impetuously to assault me This Visitation was very cloudy which then I could not see through nor apprehend God's Goodness though he vouchsafed many discoveries of his Favour to me I shall not multiply Passages of the same import nor pursue all the Methods her Christian Prudence made use of for her support as frequent Conference with my self and some few choice Christian Friends whom she much esteemed for their great Piety experience in spiritual Matters and prevalence with God in Prayer She made no noise with her Troubles revealed them but to few and to those whom she judged fittest to counsel and comfort her and sympathize with her in her Temptations as having had Experience of the like or been oft consulted by them who had But her best Defence was to take to her self the whole Armour of God and her chief Refuge was to the Throne of Grace to appeal to God who comforteth them who are cast down and to wrestle with God for help in time of need whom she used to importune to teach her hands to war and her fingers to fight in her spiritual Warfare and to carry on the War at his own Charge because the Quarrel was his and managed against the grand Enemy of his Glory as much as of her Peace I shall transcribe a Paper which I find Endorsed thus In time of Temptation writ by me Elizabeth Walker O Most holy wise powerfull gratious faithfull unchangeable and eternal God I thy poor afflicted Creature tossed on Waves and Billows of Sin and Temptation fly unto thee for Refuge in this Storm begging of thee thy supporting Grace helping me against the Assaults of my spiritual Enemies by what wile soever they invade my Soul with abhorr'd impure Motions vile and detestable Suggestions which
but my Dear Wife's Pains and Trouble I told her we had now continued this Custom a great while and that I thought it too burthensome to her a Dinner signified not much to the Rich and for the Poor I would take Care they should be no losers She at present seem'd well pleased with what I said and acquiesced in it But upon second Thoughts she said My Dear I thank thee for thy Tenderness to me to prevent my Trouble but I am rather willing to undergo it were it greater than to discontinue a Practice so long used constantly and thereby occasion any mis-interpretation as if it proceeded from Parsimony or abatement of Kindness therefore I intreat thee let us continue to doe as we have hitherto done Yearly only let us try to have all in two Days we used to have in three and if our House will not contain them all at twice to some of the poorest I will send double as much as they could have eaten here And so it was agreed and performed and so her last Christmass was as kind and Charitable as those of former Years SECT XXII Of the Marriage of our onely Daughter and her Death in Childbirth the same Year yet leaving a Son IT is not to be wondred at that she should write so many Pages of this Come-Tragedy as I called another Providence mentioned before a Trage-Comedy whose Pious Kindness was so mindful in Holy Prayers and Praises not of her self alone but of her Honoured Friends I shall touch but one or two for Instance and I cannot single out any more suitable than of those Right Honourable Ladies whose sweet Condescension not only vouchsafed to give this our Dear Daughter frequently their kindest and familiar Conversation but borrowed and desired hers almost whole Summers divers Years Concerning these young Ladies thus her Pen speaks The Lady Ann the Lady Mary and the Lady Essex Rich had a Pious Education under â—he tender Care of the Right Honourable the Countess of Warwick their Aunt whose great Care of them and Kindness and Love to them supplied and over-shot the measures of what could be expressed to them by the tenderest Mother Of two of their Marriages she writes thus December the 11th 1673. The Vertuous and Right Honourable the Lady Mary Rich was Married to Mr. Henry St. John the Eldest Son of Sir Walter St. John a Pious good Family and an ancient Barronet and great Estate Blessed Lord thou hast abundantly enriched them with the Blessings of the Nether Springs full streams in the good things of this Life let it not be their all but turn these Waters into Wine give them the Blessings of the Vpper Springs the plentifull Effusions of thy Spirit flowing into their Hearts and Souls that they may build up each other in their most Holy Faith as Heirs together of the Grace of Life June 16. 1674. The Honourable Lady Essex Rich was Married to Mr. Daniel Finch Eldest Son to his Father then Lord Keeper of the Great Seal of England Good Lord give them the Blessings of thy Right-hand and continue to them the Blessings of thy Left-hand also But let not their Portion be only in this Life let thine own Prerogative have the Supremacy in their Hearts and accelerate and quicken them to thy Service that Glorifying thee on Earth they may be in Everlasting Glory with thee in Heaven Amen Amen I will mention no more like Instances and humbly beg Pardon if I have been too bold in touching these I now come to the Title of this Section and shall add nothing of my own only transcribe and that with Abbreviation what her Pious Pen hath left me not that one Word need to be retrenched upon other accounts but only to avoid Prolixity January 17. 1675. My Dear Husband and my Dear Child Margaret Walker went to London in reference to our great Concern her Marriage our onely one so dear to us She was Married February the 1st 1675. to Mr. John Cox Barrister of Grays-Inn His Father lived at Coggshall his Relations very honest good People and very well to live in the World God hath graciously provided for her a loving Husband a sober Person and I hope a good Man God consummated their Choice by Mr. Gifford a worthy good Man Minister of St. Dunstan's in the East in London whither she was accompanied by the Right Honourable the Countess of Warwick with the chief of the Family from Warwick-House and with many other manifestations of Kindness God shined upon her and in all respects gave her a comfortable Day I draw the Curtain of a modest c. over the rest lest the Thankfulness of her who was so truly humble should incurr the unkind censure or suspicion of Vanity and concluding what I have omitted with these Words And with many other Favours God hath honoured them She proceeds Lord I desire to own thy Goodness as the Fountain Head from whence flows all Good to be enjoyed in the things of this Life and concerns of a better and more endurable Estate for their Souls advantage For which I beseech thee give them a capacious Heart to know love serve and enjoy thy self and vouchsafe them of the good things of this World what thou seest convenient for them and help them to be contented to be without what in mercy thou deniest them Good Lord keep both them and theirs inoffensive in this World and when they shall go hence and be no more in this Life Lord grant that where thou art they may be also in Eternal Glory Amen Amen Thus far the pleasant and more lightsome part Now follows what 's more dark and dolefull I have now a very smarty afflictive Dispensation from God to record very pressing by his afflictive Hand on us I acknowledge very deservedly for my Sins the Lord hath taken from us out of this Life our onely One the most dearly Beloved Daughter and Child of my choice Aâ—fections Mrs. Margaret Cox she was mâ—â—ried February the first 1675. The 19th 〈◊〉 November following she was Delivered of a Son Lord's Day seven a Clock in the Morning She continued pretty well two or three Days Tuesday following sickned of a Fever and dyed December the 5th 1675. But God in the midst of his just Judgments remembred his Mercy to us hath spared the little one to us Blessed be God for it and received the Motherless Babe into Covenant with himself by Baptism I Bless God he is the Son of good Parents his Father a very sober and a good Man his dear deceased Mother was a fine lovely handsome well accomplished Woman both in Nature and Grace to God's Praise I do make my Acknowledgments let it have no other Censure She was of a quick Apprehension modest humble discreet and of a good Judgment and well fitted for Family-Government and Imployment She had a sweet amicable Deportment and gracefull Behaviour these Endowments through God's Kindness to her rendred her very desirable to all that knew
Affections that should continue Mutual Love Good Lord let that dear Chid she hath left behind her cement and joyn our Hearts in joynt Thankfulness unto thee and unite us one to another Lord give them thy choice Favours in Jesus Christ pardon of Sin with the Graces of thy Holy Spirit and order and dispose for the best whatever may concern them and theirs as to a happy tendency to their well-being in this World and attaining of thy self in endless Glory I beseech thee be very gracious unto him whom thou hadst united so nearly to her in a sweet Conjugal Relation Lord I have sinned and he also suffered Good Lord let all Grace abound to him in all concerns in this Life and for a better and let her gain be his great Advantage joyning his Heart more closely to thy self Good Lord bless that single Posterity of his and ours left of her who was his dear Wife and our dearly Beloved Child I beseech thee be his God in Covenant with him and Lord give him the Efficacy of his Baptism that he may be thine by Grace and Adoption I beseech thee take full and early Possession of his Heart Good Lord keep out the Vanities and Follies of Childhood and Youth that while he is Young he may be a Beloved Disciple of Jesus Christ If thou seest it good to continue him in this Life I beseech thee grant that he may in his dear Mothers room Honour God in this World with an exemplary holy Life a choice Instrument of thy Glory Good Lord charge thy Providence with him in the whole course of his Life and make up all Relations to him in thy self Graciously support him in and through this World Good Lord preserve him from the Soul-ruining Evils of it and when thou wilt take him hence I beseech thee receive him to thy self in thy Everlasting Kingdom in the full Fruition of God in Glory Lord though thou was pleased to clip off so great a piece of the Comfort of my Life in this World denying my Vehement Desires and Requests with the many Prayers of thy People and our Christian Friends for the longer stay of our Dear Child with us in this World yet thou art not the less a God hearing Prayer but hast heard and granted to an higher End not here on Earth with us but in Heaven with thee received in the Arms of Everlasting Mercies to which Blessed Estate I beseech thee bring me and those Relatives very dear to me Good Lord sanctifie to us this Chastening Hand and though thou cuttest off the Streams my Comforts of this Life let not my Soul be as a parched Heath that receives no good but draw me to thy self the Fountain of durable Mercies give me those Living Waters from the Wells of thy Salvation the Light of thy Countenance with thy reconciled Face and Favour those Rivers that make glad the City of God Good Lord vouchsafe me the sweet refreshing gales and incomes of thy Spirit and with thy Grace conduct me off these ruff Seas of Sins and Sorrows to my desired Haven and Port in those Eternal Mansions of Glory where all in thee shall meet with full Enjoyments of God and one another with sweet acclamations of Thankfulness and Praises to thee our God for Ever for Ever Amen Amen Amen I have transcribed this long Paragraph without altering or changing the order of a Word if some may account it tedious who either have not been exercised with such Tryals or have other shorter and cheaper ways to relieve themselves against them let them use their own Methods without censuring or despising hers This was her Heart's Ease when she was overwhelmed pouring out her Complaints to God in secret was her best Anodine but I hope it will need no Apology with most and if it doth with any I 'll not run the risque of losing my Labour by attempting it where the Success is so doubtfull and unpromising I shall venture to enlarge this Section a little farther for three Reasons First To shew the ardour of her Zeal for the Spiritual good of this Child so exceeding dear to her which may be an Instructive Example to some Mothers or Grand-mothers to stir up the like towards their Descendants as nearly Related to them as this Child to her Secondly Because I foresee I shall not in the Body of this Book have much farther occasion to trouble the Reader with any long transcripts out of her Writings what remains being designed for the Appendix which will be entirely her own Lastly To imprint upon the Child due Sentiments of Gratitude to God and her I meet with many Expressions of most Pathetick Tenderness towards this dear Child who now next to my self was the Center in which all the lines of her strong Affections terminated July 14. 1679. Our dear sweet Child went to Coggshall to his Father's House the Lord preserve him from all Evil and Bless him and comfortably restore him to us again About a quarter of a Year after he returned well to us again Blessed be God for it We went four Miles from Home to visit a Friend our dear Child was preserved in an apparent Danger The hinder Wheel of the Coach was very like to have borne him down and gone over him as he was going into the Coach the Horses being disturbed by a strange Horse went away but through God's preventing Goodness I had a quick apprehension of the danger I suddenly pulled him away Blessed be our good God for this Deliverance of our dear Child he had no harm the Wheel durtied his Hat and Coat good Lord help me to live thy Praises who art the God of our Mercies Some may say these are small Matters but I say they are no small Evidences of a very thankfull sense of God's Mercies and will leave them inexcusable who are not thankfull for greater In the Year 1682. God was pleased to put me in fear of the speedy dissolution of our dearly beloved Grand-child He was in a languishing consumptive condition with other symptoms of the Disease His Breath was very short had lost his Appetite he looked very Pale was very Lean which imprest on my Thoughts that God would take him from me To his Righteous Will I laboured to submit but God was pleased to reverse the Sentence with a Blessing on means used the Prescriptions of Dr. H. whom we sent for from London to him and with my own great Care of him he recovered Strength to God's Blessing I ascribe the Praise who did not cast out my Petition Good Lord let this pledge of thy compassionating Mercy to me strengthen my Faith in the grant of my more Earnest Request that I may assure my self agreeable to thy Will of his Sanctification I beseech thee season his tender Mind with the savoury Knowledge of thy Blessed self Lord I do not ask of thee the Excesses and great things of this World not Earth but Heaven thy Blessed self I beseech thee put
which nothing can be hid and as easily will detect it as earnestly detest it and severely avenge it Her Modesty which you heard before she called the Womans Ornament was so undeflowred that she loathed in others what had the slightest appearance of staining or tarnishing that orient Beauty and adorning Comeliness and which she strove to plant in her Daughters as the fairest Flower in that Garden which she cultivated with her best Industry and for herself I can and do give her this true Testimony I never heard a Word proceed from her Mouth of unpure defiling Sound or Sence or of least tendency to either Her Garb and Dress her Carriage and Gestures and her whole Conversation were all of a Piece with her Communication which was always Savoury Seasoned with Salt that it might Minister Grace to them who heard it I confess I reckon neither a slattering fordidness in Dress nor Pusillanimity to speak out in reproving Sin or Sinners as occasion required any branches of Modesty as I fear some do in respect of Garb or Words for I have shewed before both how exact her Neatness and how great her Courage was to make and keep her Faithfull to the Interest of God and Souls The Righteous is bold as a Lyon and so was she But this hindred not her Meekness she was as meek as a Lamb in her own Cause though bold as a Lion in the Cause of God no true Vertues interferre or are inconsistent I could prove this by Instance She indeed was quick and prone to be hasty this was if any the Sin of her Constitution but aware of it she doubled her Guards to prevent a Breach upon her weak Side She had gathered more than five Pages of apposite Scriptures which exhort to meekness of Spirit as I touched before page 74. The third of which is Psal 18.23 I was also upright before him and kept my self from mine eniquity Which I conclude she did upon that account because she found herself liable to be surprized by that Infirmity of her Natural Temper Hastiness the contrary to Meekness those Sins being most properly called our own which proceed from our Constitution Callings and prevailing Custom And the next is Job 13.31 If I did despise the cause of my Man-Servant or my Maid-Servant when they contended with me Which she set down to keep her from being angry without hearing their Excuses if they had any to extenuate a Fault or not beyond Proportion to it if they had none and many or her Servants as well as my self can witness if she had exceeded in her Reproofs or Chiding she would chide herself more than she had done them and pray them to forgive her so much more willing was she to bear Shame than Guilt She proceeds Cease from anger and forsake wrath fret not thy self in any wise to do evil Psal 37.18 And next A froward heart shall depart from me But I shut the Book or I should with transcribing and remarking fill a Sheet and weary my Reader She was a very discreet wise and prudent Woman and of a good Judgment she was indeed sometimes pretty positive stiff tenacions and adhesive to her Sentiments which I have gently reproved as being a little over-weaning and too well conceited of her own Wisdom which I remember with great regret but clear her and confess my own Errour without any regretting what I now do therein for I must acknowledge that the Event for the most part proved she was in the right and persisted not out of Humour but because her Opinion was well grounded and fixed upon good Reason She was an excellent Proficient in satisfied Acquiescence and had learned the Art of Contentment to Perfection she had attained to a Ne plus ultra in the things of this Life she did not only not desire but was afraid of being greater or richer in this World than God had vouchsafed to make us she chose to follow not to lead or dictate to the Motions of Divine Providence and she knew my Mind so well she needed not to do it when we were alone but she hath often said before many Witnesses what I am about to relate When many Friends who knew her Humour would be saying I would be shortly so or so preferred I suppose in Merriment rather than that they really thought so she would reply and intreat them to hold their Peace saying Such Discourse was very unacceptable to her and lest their vain Breath should Infect me though I thank God whose Sacred Name I would not use in vain I never found my self susceptive of that Infection she would drop such preventing Physick What can we desire that we want What have they who have so many Preferments more than we but a greater Account to give at the Day of Judgment We have enough to answer all the ends of Necessity and Decency and somewhat to spare for Charity we know not what it is to be in straits and often lend when others who have so much more are forced to borrow It is a low and easie thing in our Circumstances to be content it is too cheap a Return for our Enjoyments it concerns us to be highly thankfull the Good Lord make us so And therefore I pray find some other Discourse and leave this idle and unwelcome Twattle So freely would she speak when they had teazed and warmed her not to say vexed her with their impertinent Harrangs And indeed she was very thankfull what a sweet Spirit of Praise breaths in all I have transcribed from her Papers and she did truly abound in this Grace She had well learned the Apostle's Lesson In all things to give thanks she blessed the Lord at all times his Praise was continually in her Mouth She seldom enterprized any thing without Prayer and as seldom finished it without Praise comparatively she esteemed Praise much more excellent than Prayer not only as it is more like the Imployment of the Holy Angels and the Spirits of Just Men made perfect but as it is less selfish and hath a more immediate aspect upon God our own Necessities constrain us to cry to God for Relief and the worst Men will Pray yea and make Vows when they are in fear but only good Men will return to pay their acknowledgments when their turn is served all the ten Lepers cryed for Mercy but where are the nine there was but one of them found to render Thanks St. Gregory the Great gives this Reason why of all the holy Men of God mentioned in the Sacred Oracles David only is called the Man after God's own Heart Because he wrote the Book of Psalms those Divine Praises Praise is so agreeable to the Heart of God he that offereth Praise glorifieth me that the Man of Praise is the Man after God's own Heart and this good Woman hath left this comfortable Evidence and ground of hope behind her that she is gone to the place where Eternity will be spent in endless Hallelujahs
inlet to delusive Fancies and is a fore-runner of Apostacy if not seasonably reduced Such Religious Performances go out like the Snuff of a Candle It is not enough to chuse a fit time but you must allow sufficient time to Pray If you are straitned in your Time you will be straitned in your Prayer Also a great help in the well-performance of the Duty of Secret Prayer is to take Pains with your Heart by Meditation As the offering of sweet Incense was prepared and compounded of many costly Materials Exod. 30.34 so is a Spiritual Prayer not rudely and confusedly but deliberately advisedly preparedly and very particularly presented before the Lord. It is usually from want of preparation you find such deadness and indisposedness in Prayer a heedfull and deliberate reading of the Holy Scriptures before Prayer is also a great help for the well-performing of the Duty A farther help in the duty of Prayer is to have right conceptions of God conceive of him as he is and as he hath revealed himself in his Word to be an Omnipresent God Psal 139. that he is really though not visibly present in all Places and in that Place where you are Praying that he sees your Heart Whenever you set about this or any Holy Duty set God before your Eyes and represent him under the Notion of an Omnipresent all-seeing God Conceive of God as one full of Majesty and Greatness infinitely above any of his Creatures This Apprehension may much both quicken us and awe us in Prayer Conceive of God as one that is exceeding Gracious and Plenteous in Mercy to all that call upon him To apprehend God in his Greatness doth stir up Fear and Godly Reverence to apprehend God in his Goodness doth stir up Faith and Holy Boldness Conceive of God in Prayer as one God not divided in Essence yet distinguished into three Persons the Father the Son and Spirit all concurring to the Prayers of Believers and have a different office about them there is the Father Hearing the Son Interceeding the Spirit helping our Infirmities Conceive of God not absolutely but in Christ God in himself is a consuming Fire Heb. 12. But in Christ he is a Mercifull Father there is no coming unto God but by Jesus Christ Heb. 7.25 Entertain and maintain very honourable Thoughts of the Duty of Prayer it self this will both move you to the Duty and much quicken you in the Duty What the Psalmist says of the City of God Psal 87.3 that may be said of the duty of Prayer Great and Glorious things are spoken of it You may read of wonderfull effects of Faith the effects and fruits of Prayer are as many and great Heb. 11. It hath obtained Promises subdued Kingdoms turned away Enemies it hath raised the Dead stopp'd the Sun's Course yea made it go back it hath opened Prison-Doors and unlocked Secrets it hath opened Heaven and shut it again with much Reverence be it spoken it hath laid hold upon God himself and put him to a mercifull Retreat when he hath been marching in Anger against Persons or People God speaks as if his Hands were held and tied up by Prayer Let me go saith he to Jacob and Let me alone saith he to Moses as if the Lord would indent with Moses and offer him a Composition to hold his Peace Exod. 32.10 Wonderfull is that passage Isa 45.11 if read right God says Concerning the Works of my Hands command ye me The prevalency of fervent Prayer is very great it prevails much with God Jam. 5.15 16. Keep your Hearts close to the duty and suffer them not to stray or wander a straying Heart must needs be a straitned Heart in Prayer If you would have your Heart enlivened and enlarged in Prayer remember to repell every vain Thought that comes in to your disturbance resist it and call in help from Heaven against it Let the guilt of no one Sin lie upon your Conscience that will clog disquiet and check your Spirit in Prayer It is not amiss to observe a method in Prayer especially when you Pray with others as she would sometimes do when both my self and Curate were absent rather than Family-Worship should be wholly omitted though not tyed to Words but confused Repetitions and disorderly Digressions dis-affect those that join with you Though some prophane Scorners may mock and snear at this what real Evil scorn-worthy is there in it for a serious holy Mother to instruct her Daughters aforehand to Pray with their Maids and Children if God had spared them and given them those Relations I wish no Mothers would give their Children Counsels or Examples more liable to Exception Chuse such a Place to Pray in as is most convenient where you may not be disturbed by noise in your Ears nor be diverted by any Object before your Eyes shut also the Door lest the Wind of Vain-glory get in thereat Mat. 6.5 6. Be much in the use of Ejaculatory Prayer which is a short yet serious lifting up the Soul in desires to God Gen. 43.14 49.18 Neh. 2.4 2 Sam. 15.31 Luk. 23.42 John 12.27 Ejaculatory Prayer is a special means to keep our Hearts very Spiritual and Savoury when often in Heaven it is a special means to fit them for more solemn and continued Prayer You may find this way of Praying very famâ—â—â—â—r with the best of Men yea with Christ himself Also remember to set their Examples before your Eyes who have performed the Duty of Prayer with life-enlargement and importunity See Gen. 32.24 Matth. 26.26.39 Heb. 5.7 Hos 12.3 Examples sway us sometimes more than any Rules or Precepts For farther Encouragement to this Duty of Prayer consult with many other Promises That of our Saviour's where he saith Matth. 21.22 Whatever you ask in prayer believing you shall receive And in John 14.13 14. Whatsoever you shall ask in my Name I will doe it If ye shall ask any thing in my Name I will doe it And Matth. 7.7 8. Ask and it shall be given you seek and ye shall find knock and it shall be opened unto you For every one that asketh receiveth and he that seeketh findeth and to him that knocketh it shall be opened Call upon me and I will answer thee and shew thee great and mighty things which thou knowest not Jer. 33.3 Jam. 5.15 The prayer of faith shall save the sick and the Lord shall raise him up and if he hath committed sins they shall be forgiven him The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much Whosoever shall call upon the Name of the Lord shall be saved Rom. 10.3 If any man want Wisdom let him ask of God who giveth to all men liberally and upbraideth not and it shall be given him But let him ask in faith nothing wavering for he that wavereth is like a wave of the Sea driven with the Wind and tossed Thus she concludes it may seem somewhat abruptly I can give no reason and will not guess only the
unwritten Paper which remains may seem to imply she designed more This is just the fortyeth part of what she had written for her Childrens use being 6 Pages in her Book of Twelve score so that I have enough if I would enlarge to tire my self and satisfie not to say clog my Readers But I will consult my own ease and theirs in adding little more of what an account is given Sect. 12. under Eleven or Twelve distinct Heads I confess I am tempted to add the Example to the Rule I mean the large Form of Prayer and Thanksgiving each containing 16 Pages But I 'll forbear only as I toucht a few Lines of the beginning and end of the Thanksgiving before So I shall give a little taste of this Prayer which she begins thus Good Lord give me to know thee who passest all Knowledge and though I cannot comprehend thee in the perfection and fullness of thy Glory yet vouchsafe to give me to apprehend thee in thy Love and pardoning Mercy to me a poor miserable Sinner who in my first Being was invested with an happy and righteous Estate from which O Lord in my first Original I soon declined c. And so proceeds most humbly to acknowledge the guilt and pollution of Original Sin as I think yea know most Orthodoxly If our Bibles our Articles our Homilies yea our Liturgy be more Orthodox than Socinus and those Ephramites who lisp his Sibboleth because they cannot or will not pronounce aright the Shibboleth of the Church of England's good old Doctrine Then she proceeds to a large Confession of actual Sin both of Omission and Commission against both Tables Acknowledging the demerit of them proceeds to sue out the Pardon of them in these words O God thou knowest my foolishness and my Sins are not hid from thee I beseech thee pardon my Iniquities and blot out my Transgressions though they be as a thick Cloud Good Lord wash me from my Impurities in that Fountain set open for Sin and for Vncleanness the precious Blood of Jesus Christ which is not only able to expiate my guilt but to cleanse me from all my filthiness that through his stripes I may be healed and cleansed from all my Original and Actual Defilements c. Having enlarged upon this she proceeds to pay for Sanctification and Inherent Righteousness that she may be a new Creature in Christ Jesus then most fully and earnestly against Temptation then for the Assistance of the Spirit to render all God's Ordinances and the means of Grace effectual then for growth in Grace for Comfort for an Heavenly frame of Heart and Life for assurance and manifestation of God's Love to her then for Wisdom to consider her latter End and to be helped in that Spiritual Arithmetick so to number her Days as to apply her Heart to true Wisdom then that God would fit and prepare her for her Dissolution that when her days shall be consummated on Earth her Corruptible may put on Incorruption and her Mortal put on Immortality Then she concludes with these Words Then shall Death my last Enemy be vanquished and swallowed up in Victory and from thy unworthy Creature Everlasting Praises shall be rendred unto thee through Jesus Christ that giveth me the Victory for thou hast redeemed my Soul from the Power of the Grave I beseech thee receive me into thy Eternal Kingdom and Glory that neither Death nor Life things present nor things to come may be able to separate me from thy Love O God which is in Christ Jesus my Lord. Then she proceeds to Pray for the Church of which a taste was given in her Monday-morning Prayers Sect. 7. pag. 45. Gracious Lord the Mercies I ask of thee for my own Soul I earnestly beg of thee for thy Church and People Blessed Lord Thou hast made the Earth by thy Power established the World by thy Wisdom and stretched out the Heavens by thy Discretion thy Arm is not shortned that thou canst not Save Good Lord take care of Zion build up the Walls of Jerusalem that in Zion there may be Deliverance and Holiness in thy House let the Mountain of thy House be established in the top of the Mountains be thou a Wall of Fire round about and her Glory in the midst thereof But I forgot my self 't is hard to stop my Pen. Then I beseech thee especially for the Land of my Nativity the Nation of which I am a sinfull Member here is a large Paragraph The next is for the World Give thy Gospel a free and glorious Passage through the World Good Lord pity those that sit in the region and shaddow of Death Then I beseech thee be mercifull to all the Sons and Daughters of Sorrow and Affliction the Disconsolate the Sick those who contend with Poverty Imprisonment Reproach Disgrace Then for them who suffer Persecution for the Truth Then for her Relations I confess I am almost ashamed that I have thus mangled so excellent a Prayer so Piously so Judiciously in such suitable Scripture Phrase and Language I think it had been better to have transcribed the whole or let it quite alone but her Friends may command a Copy of it if they please Having finished her Intercessions for others she returns to conclude with renewed Petitions for herself which I will venture to set down Good Lord be the God and Portion of me thy unworthy Creature and of those so dear unto me give me a Relation to thee an Affiance in thee and a Dependance upon thee that in all my concerns I may come to thee in whom are all my fresh Springs the riches of free Grace to poor Sinners and treasuries of Mercies purchased with the Precious Blood of Jesus Christ I beseech thee with-hold not thy tender Mercies from me but give me of that hidden Manna the sweet refreshing Incomes of thy Holy Spirit into my Soul and when my Heart is overwhelmed I beseech thee lead me to the Rock that is higher than I for thou hast been a shelter to me Lord be thou a strong Tower to me to which I may continually resort for whom have I in Heaven but thee And if I know any thing of my own Heart there is none comparative on Earth that I desire besides thee thou art my God besides thee there is no Saviour I beseech thee guide me with thy Counsel and when I shall go hence and be no more in this World I beseech thee receive me into thy Glory Then follows the Thanksgiving full as large as the Form of Prayer and if it may be more Spiritual raised and Divinely Savoury but I will not repeat the Errour to mangle it and set down so Imperfect Pieces and spoil its Beauty but signifie to her Friends that I shall freely allow them to read the Original which is fairly legible or if they think it worth the while to Copy it out or at more leisure to Print some few Copies of it and others of her usefull