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A02649 A nevv discourse of a stale subiect, called the metamorphosis of Aiax: vvritten by Misacmos, to his friend and cosin Philostilpnos Harington, John, Sir, 1560-1612. 1596 (1596) STC 12779.5; ESTC S103861 58,895 147

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whereof I will vse a cōtrary method to the former for I wil begin now with prophane stories and end with deuine First therefore most certaine it is that mischiefes make vs seeke remedies diseases make vs find medicines euill maners make good lawes And as in all other things so by all likelyhood in this we now treate of when companies of men began first to increase and make of families townes and of towns cities they quickly found not onely offence but infection to grow out of great concourse of people if speciall care were not had to auoyd it And because they could not remoue houses as they do tents from place to place they were driuen to finde the best meanes that their wits did then serue them to couer rather then to auoyd these annoiances either by digging pits in the earth or placing the common houses ouer riuers but as Tully saith of Metaphors that they were like our apparell first deuised to hide nakednesse then applied for comelinesse and lastly abused for pride so I may say of these homely places that first they were prouided for b●●e necessitie for indeede till Romulus time I finde little mention of them then they came to be matters of some more cost as shall appeare in examples following and I thinke I might also lay pride to their charge for I haue seene them in cases of fugerd sattin and veluet which is flat against the statute of apparell but for sweetnesse or cleanlines I neuer knew yet any of them guilty of it but that if they had but waited on a Lady in her chamber a day or a night they would haue made a man at his next entrance into the chamber haue sayd fo good speedye Now as scholers do daily seeke out new phrases metaphors and Tailors do oft inuent new vardingales and breeches so I see no reason but Magistrates may as well now as heretofore deuise new orders for cleanlinesse and wholsomnesse But now to the stories I alledged before as it were at the second hand out of Lactantius how Titus Tacius that was king with Romulus erected the Statue of the Goddesse Cloacina in a great Priuy made for that purpose I finde after this in the story of Liuy how Tarquinius Pryscus a man of excellent good spirit but husband to awife of a more excellent spirit a man that wan a kingdome with making a learned oration and lost it with hearing a rude one a king that was first crowned by an Eagle counselled by an Augure and killed by a traytor whose raigne his ruine were both most strāgely foretold This worthy Prince is reported by that excellent historian to haue made two prouisions for his city one for warre the other for peace both very commendable for warre a stone wall about the towne to defend them from outward inuasions and for peace a goodly Iakes within the towne with a vault to conuey all the filth into Tiber to preserue them from inward infection Not long after him raigned Tarquinius surnamed the Proud a tyrāt I confesse and an vsurper and husband to a dragon rather then a woman but himselfe surely a man valiant in war prouident in peace and in that yong world a notable politician of whom Liuy takes this speciall note that comming to the crown without law and fearing others might follow his example to do that to him he had done to another● he was the first that appointed a a guard for his person the first that drew publike matters to priuate hearings the first that made priuate wars priuat peace priuate confederacies the first that lessened the number of the Senators the first that when any of them died kept their roomes voyde with many excellent Machiauillen lessons which who so wold be better instructed of let him read but his accusing of Turnus his stratagem against the Gabians c. But the matter I would praise him for is none of all these but only because he built a stately temple and a costly Iakes the words be Cloacámque maximam receptaculum omnium purgamentorum vrbis a mighty great vault to receiue all the filth of the city Of which two works ioyning them both together Liuy saith thus Quibus duobus operibus vix noua haec magnificentia quicquam adequauit Which two great works the new magnificence of this our age can hardly match Now though Brutus after in a popular seditious oration to incite the multitude to rebellion debased this worthy worke of his saying he wasted the treasure of the realme and tyred toyled out the people in exhauriēdis cloacis in emptying of Iaxes for that was his word yet it appeares by the history that if his son had not defloured the chast Lucrece the mirrour of her sex Brutus with his fained folly true value and great eloquence could neuer haue displaced him For euen with all his faults you see that Brutus his owne sons would haue had him againe who laying their heads together with many yong gallants that thought them selues much wiser then their fathers concluded among thēselues that a king was better then a Consull a Court better then a Senate that to liue onely by lawes was too strict and rigorous a life and better for pesantly then princely dispositions that Kings could fauour as well as frowne reward as well as reuenge pardon as well as punish whereas the law was mercilesse mute and immutable finally they concluded it was ill liuing for them where nothing but innocency could protect a man Lo Brutus how eloquently thy sons can plead against their father but thou hast a Iury of sure free-holders that gaue a verdite against them and thy selfe wast both iudge and shiriffe and hastenedst execution O braue minded Brutus I will not call thee primus Romanorum because one was shent for calling one of thy posterity vltimus Romanorum but this I must truly say they were two Brutish parts both of him and you one to kil his sons for treason the other to kill his father in treason and yet you would both make vs beleeue you had reason and why so forsooth because Victrix causa placet superis sed victa Catoni That is to say in English You had great fortune and your cosin had great friends yet neither died in bed but both in battell onely his death was his enemies aduancement and thy death was thy enemies destruction But to omit these trifles and to returne to my tesh whereas thou railest against so great a Prince for making of so sumptuous a Iakes this I cannot endure at thy hands if thou hadst played me such a sawcy part here in my countrey first of mine owne authority I would haue granted the good behauiour against you secondly Tarquinius him selfe might haue Scandalum magnatum against you thirdly a bill should haue bene framed against you in the Star chamber vpon the statute of vnlawfull assemblies then you would haue wisht you had kept your
all the horned beasts he met which made Agamemnon and Menelaus now more affraid then Vlisses whereupon he was banished the townes presently and then he went to the woods and pastures and imagining all the fat sheepe he met to be of kin to the coward Vlisses because they ran awaie from him he massacred a whole flocke of good nott Ewes Last of all hauing no bodie else to kill poore man killed him selfe what became of his body is vnknowen some say that wolues and beares did eate it and that makes them yet such enemies to sheepe and cattell But his bloud as testifieth Pouidius the excellent Historiographer was turnd into a Hiacint which is a verie notable kinde of grasse or flower Now there are many miracles to be marked in this Metamorphosis to confirme the credite of the same for in the grasse it selfe remaines such pride of this noble bloud that as the grasiers haue assured me of their credits and some of them may be trusted for 100000 poundes the ruther beastes that eate too greedily hereof will swell til they burst the poore sheep still for an old grudge would eate him without salt as they saie but if they doe they will soone after rot with it Further I read that now of late yeares a French Gentleman son to one Monsieur Gargasier a young Gentleman of an excellent spirit towardnesse as the reuerēt Rabbles quem honoris causa nomino that is whom I should not name without sauereuerēce writeth in his first booke 13. Cha. but the story you shall find more at large in the xiiij booke of his tenth Decad. This yong gentleman hauing taken some three or foure score pils to purge melancholy euery one as big as a Pome Citterne commanded his man to mowe an halfe acre of grasse to vse at the priuy and notwithstāding that the owners to saue their hay perhaps sware to him it was of that ancient house of AIAX and therefore reserued of purpose onely for horses of the race of Bucephalus or Rabycano yet he would not be perswaded but in further contempt of his name vsed a phrase that he had learned at his being in the low Countreys and bad Skite vpon AIAX But suddenly whether it were the curse of the people or the nature of the grasse I know not he was strikē in his posteriorūs with S. Anthonies fier and dispairing of other helpe he went on Pilgrimage in hope of remedy hereof to Iapana neare Chyna where he met a French Surgeō in the vniuersity of Miaco that cured him both of that the Verol that he had before in his priorūs with the Momio of a Greciā wēch that Vlisses buried in his trauell vpon the coast of the further Aethiopia and so he came back again by Restinga des ladrones through S. Lazaro and crossing both the Tropicks Cancer Capricorne he came by Magellanes swearing he found no straights there but came from thence straight home And so in 24. houres saile and two or three od years beside he accomplished his voyage not forgetting to take fresh wine water at Capon de bona speranza Yet ere he could recouer his healthfully he was faine to make diuerse vowes for now he was growē very religious with his long trauell Among which one was that in remēbrance of China of all meats he would honor the Chine of beefe most an other was that of all offices of the house he should doe honour to that house of office where he had cōmitted that scorne to AIAX and that there he should neuer vse any more such fine grasse but rather teare a leafe out of Holinsheds Chronicles or some of the books that lie in the hall then to commit such a sin against AIAX Wherefore immediatly on his cōming home he built a sumptuous priuy and in the most conspicuous place thereof namely iust ouer the doore he erected a statue of AIAX with so grim a countenance that the aspect of it being full of terror was halfe as good as a suppositor and further to honour him he changed the name of the house called it after the name of this noble Captaine of the greasie ones the Grecians I should say AIAX though since by ill pronunciation and by a figure called Cacophonia the accent is changed and it is called a Iakes Further when the funerall oration was ended to doe him all other complements that appertained to his honor they searcht for his petigrew and an excellent Antiquary and a Harold by great fortune found it out in an old Church booke in the Austen Friers at Genoua and it was proclaymed on this fashion AIAX sonne of Telamon sonne of Aeacus sonne of Iuppiter Iuppiter aliâs dictus Picus sonne of old Saturne Aliâs dictus Stercutius Which when it was made knowen vnto the whole fraternity of the brethren there was nothing but reioycing and singing vnto their god Sarcotheos a deuout Shaame in honor of this Stercutius the great great grand-father of AIAX Which Sonet hath a maruellous grace in their countrey by meanes they do greatly affect the same similiter desinentia euery Frier singing a verse and a brother aunswering him in the tune following amounting iust to foure and twenty which is the misticall number of their order But by the way if any seuere Catoes take exceptions any chast Lucrecias take offence at the matter or musick here following let them pardon me that sought but to keepe decorum in speaking of a slouenly matter and of slouenly men somewhat slouenly Vos verò viri eruditi si quae hic scurriliter nimis dicta videbuntur ignoscite aequissimum ●●im est vt quam voluptatem scelerati male saciendo capiant ●●ndem quoad fieri potest male audiendo amittant Videt●● autem cuiusmodi farinae homines taxare instituimus ●●n plos doctos sanctos continentes sed lu●urios●s hereticos barburos impios Quibus ego me per ●mne● vitam ace●●imum hostem vt verum 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 semper pro●i●ebor Nostis prouerbium Cretisandum cum Cretensibus cert● hoc dignum est pa●ella operculum Nam similes habere debent labr● lactucas O Tu qui dans O tu qui dans o ra cu la o-ra-cu-la scindis cotem no va-cu-la cu-la da nostra vt ta-ber-na-cu-la lingua canant vernacula cu-la lingua canant vernacula cula O Tu qui dans O tu qui dans oracula oracu-la scindis cotem no vacula cula da nostra vt tabernacu-la cula vt taberna-cula lingua canant vernacula cula cula lingua canant verna-cula 1. O tu qui dans oraculae 2. Scindis cotem nouacula 3. Da nostra vt tabernacula 4. Lingua canant vernacula 5. Opima post gentacula 6. Huiusmodi miracula● 7. Sit semper plaenum poculum 8. Habentes plaenum loculum 9. Tu serua nos vt specula● 10. Per longa laeta secula● 11. Vt clerus