but when she is perverted she proves the stronger in mischiefe The sum of all is let none that feare God venture upon those that doe not and let all seeke for their parts to be in the Lord before marriage Above all let second marriages beware of adventuring in this kinde upon each other for advantage sake an errour very rise in this kinde for enhansing themselves for jollity and a braver and fuller life then formerly they were content with for it fals out commonly that by one appendant or other as charge of children perfidiousnesse in the valuing of their estates costlinesse of diet or apparell or by some unexpected canker wasting the apple at the core God cuts their combe fils their new hopes with new sorrow and makes them wish that they were but as they have bin forfeiting all their felicity for naught So much for this Vse 4 The last Vse is Exhortation to excite and perswade all to marry in the Lord an exhortation at all times necessary but so specially necessary in these gulling and cheating dayes that who so should reject this counsell were worthy to give it himselfe too late upon costly experience And truely I lesse blame them who are of good estate fearing God for their buying good wives by forsaking greater worldly contents which commonly are joyned with greater perill for great portions commonly goe with great stomacks high spirits costly fashion and great expences They therefore who can deny a little pompe may buy much peace and redeeme both their owne and their childrens safety with a little selfe-deniall in outward respects whenas they are fure to gaine it in spirituall But I digresse not Still I presse the point Marry in this Lord concerning the which I would commend three duties to the well-affected The first concerning youth before their entrance into this estate The second more closely concerning such as purpose to change their estate The third concerning them upon their contract Touching the first the dutie of yong ones growing up toward this estate is this That they redeeme their golden opportunity of youth and single life improving all such helps either publique or private all such counsels of their ancients all examples of such as are commendable in this kinde especially any such motions of the spirit in the ordinances whereby they are inclined to seeke the Lord to be their portion in pardon and grace Remember this is your season of getting about you such a stocke of provision as may hereafter stand by you This is your golden time each period following will prove worse downward even brasse iron and clay Marke how the greater sort of youth dally out their precious time never setting their hearts to Remember their Creator in the dayes of their youth but to licke up the common scurfe of the times to learne fashions complements carriage which a vaile little for the maine to stand upon their great births portions or hopes and so to live bravely But how to be fit for such a solemne change I speake not of death for that 's out of thought out of season for youth but of marriage if God bring them to it that so out of the treasure which they have gotten they may bring forth direction how to order themselves or make their estate honourable and comfortable its furthest from their thought What doe you heare that the chiefe way to honour marriage is entring with the Lord and doe you not conclude that so weighty a matter will cost you a great deale of preparing What should you then doe beforehand Surely as your parents are busie about providing your portion which is their worke so be you busied a better way about that one thing necessary to get the pearle in the field to seeke the Lord while that he may be found Heathen Poets bring in Virgins upon the stage professing that they take no thought for their matches they looke at modesty and good report The lesse you are busied about things lesse needfull the more may you attend that one thing which shall never be taken from you Except in these dayes of your youth wherein each thing is sweet the maine worke be thought of the dayes are coming and that perhaps long ere old age of which you shall say you have no pleasure in such objects there may come a day of uncomfortable marriage losses of estate death of husband of wife sorrow of heart for your ill matching and then how will you doe Is it not just to such as set the chiefe things behinde yes verily Remember our Saviours words to Peter When thou wast yong thou girdedst thy selfe and went'st whither thou wouldst but when thou art old another shall gird thee and lead thee whither thou wouldest not Thou mayest perhaps meet with an unpleasing girdle thy great charge of children calling for thy care and maintenance the world frowning upon thee and not answering thy hopes a riotous and spend thristy husband or waspish and untoward wife for so it may be when thou hast sought the greatest prevention of it if God will so try thee debts diseases reproaches pursuing thee in the midst of all these little leisure to wait upon the Ordinances which should infuse the grace of support into thee and perhaps which is worst as small an heart after it Then when all these have made they life unpleasant and thy conscience coming upon all with a worse streame and causing an overflow of sorrow unto thee what shalt thou doe God hath dealt righteously in it because thou contemnest all helpes in thy youth and therefore in thy trouble sends thee to thy idoll beauty money will laughing at thy misery how wilt thou then wish thou hadst but that former liberty granted thee to marry in the Lord Oh! how eagerly are things loved out of their season Alas the spirit blowes where it lists time and tide must not stay upon thee thou hadst them and wouldest not use the watchwords thereof wisely why should the spirit any longer strive with thee but rather suffer thy sailes to stand still for ever If this then be the time of girding thy loynes with grace for time to come gird them with that precious girdle of knowledge sincerity selfe-denyall faith patience and the like learne to weare the yoke of God from thy youth and it shall not pinch thee in thine age By this girding of thine owne soule thou shalt be fit to admit of Gods unpleasing girdles for time to come crosses if they come shall befall thee in thine innocency so as thou shalt know how to defray them and the Lord shall be afflicted with thee in thy afflictions and teach thee how to passe thy marriage with comfort But if this counsell will doe thee no good but perhaps thou hast learned to doe as the world doth that is to welter in thy sorrowes and to beare them off with head and shoulders so that thou canst goe
the Prophet had enjoyned thee some great thing shouldst thou not have done it much more to wash and be cleane So I say if the service were farre greater wouldst thou not admit that when the scope is Marry and bee happy Oh but is it enough say these that we be precise in worship and religion and in our conscience to God but we must be so strict in marriage So strict how strict wouldst thou not take as much paines for a purchase Nay for a good Horse or a good Hawke wouldest thou presume both were good enough if price enough were set upon their heads No sure but the rather thou wouldest looke to thy bargaine So doe here thinke not a wife unquestionable because of her price enquire of her true value when thou art married and art stung with his or her unquietnesse unfaithfulnesse uncleannes oh then what injunction should be put upon thee which thou wouldst not yeeld unto to be eased of such a burden in a right way But I cannot promise thee thou shalt prevaile then so well as thou maist prevent it now Doe as some Gentlewomen doe they will take no maids to traine they will have them trained to their hand or else none What will not a foole doe out of season to shunne sorrow when he hath smarted but in season that he might not smart he will not stirre a joynt nor wet his finger To verifie that of Salomon To the foole God gives toile and vexation for his portion because he wil not be wise for his own ease But I have before purposely handled this point I willl trench no more upon it So much for this use of reproofe A second use then to finish all is exhortation to contracted couples to prise their contract for the use of it I shall not need to joy them of it that now they have their desires accomplished that will come alone but let it be their care to sactife themselves and their marriage for time to come It was the custome of the Church of the old Testament to offer sacrifices to God upon solemn occasions as upon solemne meetings of the family when warres were attempted upon any speciall service of God to be performed as fasting thanksgiving Sabbaths circumcision of the children recoveries from sicknesse enjoying of any blessing Hezekia and Jonah deliverd offered sacrifices made songs and vowes Marriage therefore being a speciall change of estate such as befalls once in the life should have no lesse solemne preparation for entrance into it The entry of yong ones into this condition cannot but amase the thoughts and possesse the spirits and powers of the soule more then ordinarily striking jealousie into them least their succes should not answer their expectation and they should not be happy in each other So that upon whom should all this care and burden be cast save Iehova who hath said to married ones as well as others In nothing take thought but in all things commending your selves to God by prayer and and cast your care upon him for he careth for you Let this be your care even the promise of God Yea in the verse immediately following this text of Marriage the Apostle meets with this corruptions in couples let not your conversation be in covetousnesse for he hath said I will not faile thee nor forsake thee It is no easie thing to stirre up a dead heart to reflect meditations of our future estate take this time therefore now the thoughts and passions of of the soule are up in armes now the iron is hot strike some impression of God faith in his alsufficiency and providence into your selves And as the Lord of the Mannor at each alienation comes in for his herriot so now at this your change pay God his fine the best jewell of all you have devote your selves give up your soules to him with mutuall consent rest not in the praiers of others but set close your selves to the Lord in your own supplications both apart and together without seperation Astronomers call the twelve days of the Nativity Criticall for the twelve moneths of the whole yeare the daies of your entry upon marriage should be even such for looke how the constitution and frame of them is so may you expect the time of your marriage will be either for Gods use and the honor of your marriage or for your owne ends Vnblest entrances have naughty successes Recognize with your selves what the solemne opinion and hope is which the Lord his Church and your selves have conceived of you Tremble to thinke how wofull a defeat it were to frustrate them and your selves Acknowledge God to be the ordainer of this estate looke what rules he hath directed you unto for an happy life in this kinde muse of them set your hearts unto them and let them sinke deeply into your hearts take the Lord as a solemne witnes of your intents and purposes to walke by rule as you looke for peace And by strong resolutions bind your fickle hearts as with cords to the Altar and pray God to set his seale to them that they may prove as good silver in the performing as they seemed in the promising And more particularly these two things I advise you unto First looke what especiall base distempers and lusts you have found to sway in you either formerly or since your purpose of marriage labour to purge them out that you may not carry defiled bodies or spirits into the married estate As Physitians at the end of a disease give their patient a clensing potion to expell all scurfe of bad humours remaining so doe you you are entring into a pure and honourable estate honour it before by burying all your Idols and cashiering your base lusts that they crowd not in with you into the wicket of marriage lest if you shall dare to carry an uncleane froward covetous discontented and unsavoury heart with you into that estate the Lord shall accurse you and make them as Judas his sop unto you to defile you for ever after To the pure all things are pure but to the impure every thing even the very minde and conscience are defiled Secondly look what feeble seeds of knowledge and grace were sowne before marriage you ply and attend them carefully for time to come Promise yea secure the Lord beforehand that no contentment of flesh no humouring of each other no reaching at commodity shall so forestall you that this worke of God should be forgotten by you rather lay all sacrifices by the Altar and renew your Covenant both Gods with you and yours with him tell the Lord thus When my husband my wife first met me I was very busie in grounding my selfe in the principles of knowledge the sight of sinne to humble me the truth of the promise to cast me out of my selfe upon the armes of mercy I was occupied about the doctrine and use of regâ—neration union and the new creature now
on through a second or a third marriage if it so fall out with as gracelesse an heart as through the first Certainly there remaines nothing for thee save that thy end prove worse then thy beginning because thy troubles brought thee not upon thy knees for thy former sinne but rather thou walkest on still in the frowardnesse of thine heart I proceed to a second duty when thou intendest a change that is be sure thou doe nothing rashly but use all possible wisdome that as thou hast sought the Lord so he would bring thee to a sutable companion A great worke I grant and thou wilt aske how it may be effected I will labour to satisfie thy desire with these advisâ—s following First deny thy selfe renounce that carnall wisdome presumption and will of thine owne which ascribes so much to it selfe as if it needed no advice submit thy selfe to the Lord doe not at first rush thy selfe upon marriage by a necessity of nature or by custome of the world or because yeeres require it or out of base ends to give way to thy lust but let it be thy care to preserve thy vessell in holinesse and honour abstaine from all provocations to lust be much in prayer for a sanctification of every age and condition of life perhaps the Lord hath appointed thee a single life which may be much better for thee then marriage to honour God in perhaps thou art not a meet man for marriage but it would prove incommodious for thee however it s thy duty to try what God hath for thee in store and many repent them for their yeelding to the first pangs of unbrideled youth and wish they had not given way so soone to an impotent humour nay many who at the first intended no other save marriage yet by their more wary and temperate diet company and by subduing their flesh by fasting and prayer meditation and close attendance of study calling or the ordinances of God have obtained such a gift of chastity that they see it is rather the way of God they should not marry There are some saith our Saviour who are Eunuches borne marriage were a snare to such notwithstanding their frothy concupiscence and some have made themselves so for the kingdome of heaven Chastity is a peculiar gift of God all will grant and God will have it appeare in some that grace hath more strength then nature hath as against lusts so above lawfull liberties and he who adviseth continence to some in times of danger especially in which marriage might prove a clogge and otherwise also for a more close cleaving to God without marriage distractions there is no doubt but he hath grace sutable to frame some men and women for this very purpose And sure it is where such a gift is God is highly honoured with the pure and undivided spirit of such as serve him in that condition Therefore all due meanes must be used for the attaining of it till the minde of God be knowne in this kinde and no man ought to forestall providence in that respect weigh well thy strength or thy weaknesse in the ballance lay before thee the burdens and service of marriage thy bodily or spirituall abilities or imperfections play not the part of a foole to say after marriage I never thought it such a state I see now I am not meet for it that should have bin thought of before informe thy selfe duly of the conveniences and inconveniences of each condition the single and the married and when all is done if God incline thee to a private state reserve thy selfe to it I say not to thee vowe it for who knowes but thy minde and body may alter and require a change but so long as by thy abstinence from all provocations and watchfull eye over thy selfe thou canst keepe thy selfe chaste and prove it by the contentation of thy spirit without noy somenesse and neglect of the duties of thy place thou maist gather the will of God by the signe and so thou art to yeeld thy selfe to a single life wherein although there cannot but fall out some petty discommodities in some kinde yet they ought to be digested meekely for the a voyding of worse and the attaining of the benefit of a single estate For when God is in a condition that shall be tolerable to one which would be burdensome to another and there is no state wholly free from trouble in this world onely that is to be embraced as neere as we can which is free from the most And having once understood the way of God goe not out of it wilfully nor dally not with him in such weighty purposes if it please him to alter thy minde thou shalt understand it by signes easily and maist without sinne follow him so thy sinne be not accessary So much for the first counsell which I desire may be conceived of discreetly and not mistaken The secondly if notwithstanding this triall thou shalt finde that God hath alotted marriage to thee know it s a lawfull condition of life be resolved it is so be not snared with feare melancholy or any distemper although it be joyned with many troubles yet they shall be the lester when God tels thee its best and thy gaine shall be above thy losse cast thy selfe upon the ordinance in such a case to make it sweet And therefore prepare thy selfe for it deny thine owne rebellion pride passions will and lust know that marriage is no state as many thinke of licenciousnesse to live at ease and as a man list They who are of that minde neede no other plague then their owne errour to vexe them when they meet with the contrary No no this estate is not for an untamed heifer as soon mayst thou force an Vnicorne to plow with thy Oxen as thy rude spirit to draw in thy yoke of marriage Learne therefore self-deniall betimes it s as essentiall for a married life as for a single humility and wisdome and how hardly this hard Theme will be handled till the heart be subdued and meekened before For all unbroken ones are like to finde sorrow in the flesh double and treble If it be so in the greene tree how much more in the dry If it be unavoydable to the best how much more to them who seeke it So much for the second Thirdly be warned against the common difease both of errour and practice which hath overflowed the world and so bleared the eyes of men that they can see nothing save the outsides of things Suffer not beauty breeding portion personage education with complementall behaviour fashionablenesse and the like so to bribe thy judgement and forestall thine affections that religion should come too late and be thrust out from consultation Beware of covetousnesse pride of life and jollity ambitious and aspiring thoughts to count none meet for thee save such as are
her beauty but her bane her devotion but profanenesse She that thought no crumbe clave to her lips because she had paid her vowes yet escapes not her eternall reproach because she was a disloyall harlot Tell me wert thou married to a chast wife blind of an eie lame of an hand a legge whether wouldest thou change her for one sound in all being unchast I trow not That which then covers all wants is worth the due improoving and carefull attendance Reas 5 Fiftly this chastity is the corner stone that holdes in all the parts of the building A chast wife hath her eies open eares watching heart attending upon the welfare of the family husband children and servants she thinks that all concerne her estate content posterity this rivets her into the house makes her husband trust to her commit all to her heart and all But the unchast having lost his or her heart is loosened from the whole body thinks nothing perteining to her is ready to part the children leaving the lawfully and chusing the misbegotten for her portion that so she may goe to her Paramour That which Saul through mistake thought Michal would prove to David that doth an unchast one without doubt prove to her husband a very snare That which I said before of love may be said of her sister chastity she is painfull close doth all things hopeth believeth endureth all things without grudging The frost is nothing by night the heate by day toile in both because he loveth her she him each are faithfull loiall to other Who should not nourish that tree which hath such branches Whereupon some thinke the English and Latine wordes Chaste do come from a greeke word signifying to Adorne noting that Chastity is one of the cheefe ornaments of the married and so of all in either sexe One saith As the face of a statue or faire picture razed or the head rent off so is the most beautifull rich honorable person if Chastity be gone Its as that father speaks The Ornament of the Noble the exaltation of the low the Beauty of the Abject the solace of the sorrowfull the encrease of beauty the glory of religion the friend of the Creator Reas 6 Lastly Chastity preserves marriage in honor and ought to be jointly againe preserved because it preserves that joint â—lessiâ—g of God which makes it honorable and that in sundry respects 1. of the fruitfulnesse of the wombe Many thinke a fruitfull posterity rather a crosse then a blessing but the godly are of his mynd who sayde she shal be as the fruitfull vine by the side of thine house and thy children as olyve plants round about thy table The adulterer and adulteresse are cursed with barren wombes fruitlesse bodies There is not now such a cursed water to try the uncleane by rotting the wombe and bowells of the harlot nor to become a water of blessing to the chast But in stead thereof there is a curse of God upon the one and a blessing upon the other Even the adulterine mixtures of Beasts as the Mule comming from the Asse and the Mare have a brande of barrennesse nature stopping all infinitenesse and confusion as most contrary to her selfe how much more the bodies of adulterous husbandes and wives and wheras it is objected Object some harlots are fruitfull and some chast wyves are barren Answ the answere is still the curse holdes upon the bastard fruite of the one and the blessing upon the soule of the other As the Prophet encourages those holy Eunuches that kept God Sabbaths that it should go better with them then if they had sons and daughters even a place should be given them in the house of God and an everlasting name that never should be cut off So doth he here to all chast ones when he cuts off the cursed race of the uncleane then he continues to the godly though barren a better name then posterity could atteyne unto Secondly to the chast belongs the blessing of legitimation but to the uncleane the curse of illegitimate ones to bring Bastards into the family as lawful heyres how execrable and how unnaturall is it The children of Gilead cast out Iephtah bcause he was the strangers issue Sara sayd well of Ishmael The son of this stranger though of her owne gift shal not inherit with my son Isaac But the curse of Adultrous is to leave their wealth to bastards As the Lord cursed the garment made of mixt lmsey and wolsey the field sowne with sundry kinds of graine together so much more the illegitimate posterity of defiled persons As Eagles fethers consume the fethers of other foules so the unlawfull brood of the uncleane devoures he lawfull till at last that fire consume them and all which is threatned the children of the whore the Adulterer for it was unlawful fire that begat theÌ„ the same shall kindle and burne till it have destroied them And thirdly to the Chaste eveÌ„ a curse is turned to a blessing The sorrowes of conception and birth turne to the salvation of the pure and Chast beeing faythfull wheras the blessing of marriage turneth to a curse to the other As all things are impure to the impure as the ceremony also made the things and vessel to be defiled whether wood or stone which the leper touched But especially to the impure in bodies yea their very consciences are as impure as their flesh and therby whatsoever thy doe touch use partake or possesse is made filthy because their nasty consciences tell them so Even so To the pure all things become pure As our Saviour saith of almes Give almes to the poore of that you have and all the whole lumpe of your estate shal be cleane vnto you So here If couples keep themselves pure in body and spirit pure are their prayers readings conference Sabbaths Sacraments service of God yea in Christ all things are pure unto them their health estate eating and drinking duties fellowship and benevolence bed and board and all they take in hand Now to finish the reason if it be under such a threefold blessing then ought so happie a vertue as Chastity to be jointly preserved by both the married persons Quest But heer it wil be demanded how should Chastity in Marriage be preserved and in how many things standes it I answ In these foure First in the Chastity of the spirit Secondly of prevention Thirdly of the Bed Lastly of the Body Answ For the first the center of Chastity is the minde and spirit If that bee pure there neede bee no keepers as he once saide of those Romanes the richer sort of whom kept their wyves chastity by Eunuches if that bee uncleane no keepers will serve the turne unbrideled luste like the wilde fig will soone mount over the wall The first care then must bee to keepe that cleane from whence as our Saviour saith
their place should teach the younger to be sober should rather aime at being under the line then above it But as it is not youth where there is a chast spirit that can provoke to excesse in this kind so neither is it age in any profession if it be once tainted with defilednesse which will perswade men to moderatenesse but as bruite beasts their will is their law and even in those things they know yet they corrupt themselves to the griefe and sad woe of their companions who know not how to redresse it Loth I am to speake that in this argument with many sentences yea in two wordes if one might serve and heartily wish which yet never will bee obteined that at least the religious might be lawes to themselves in such kinds But the experience of the contrary may plead some pardon for that little I have said Some must speake and where more aptly then in a treatise for the nonce But how shall we know when this due measure is observed Surely then when snaring concupiscence is prevented and fitnesse of body and minde therby purchased freely to walke with God and to discharge duties of calling without distraction or annoyance And so doing much fredome may be enjoyed both the former extremities being avoyded and Gods wrath prevented which I cannot say whether it more hangs over the heads of superstitious Papists for vowing a forced chastity contrary to the expresse rule of the word or upon married persons for abuses in eyther of the two kindes Concerning the former we know both into what odious enormity of luste the Lord hath suffred them to be plunged both unnaturall and unlawfull making them the execration of the world for their lust Touching the latter I leave it to the experience of the wise to consider Both what vexation the neglect of this ordinance hath caused to many who under pretexts of their owne have refused the mutuall due to each other who afterwards seeing what wofull snares they have brought themselves into as seeking the Company of harlots and adulterers have bin deeply terrifyed wishing too late with sorrow that they had denyed themselves and subjected them to the ordinance And so for the other extremity when due regard of Chastity hath bin neglected what weaknes diseases inability of body and minde to calling and duty hath ensued Yea further when presumptuous lust hath broken boundes of womanly modesty compting all seasons alike what markes hath God set upon their owne bodies for their incontinency so upon the bodies of their Children yea and upon their mindes and whole constitution the one by disguizement of countenance the other by defilednesse with the like sin for what was bred in bone will not eazily out in flesh when as I say men have met with these penalties then they have justly confessed wrath to ceaze upon them And indeed although there were no religion yet if men were but Philosophers to understand the naturall mischief and poison of such wayes they coulde not but loath them Therfore let a wise mediocrity be observed sanctifying our fellowship and fruite of bodies by earnest prayer that both may be cleane to us Make not that helpe which God hath given as water to quench as oile to enflame There is a white Devill aswell to corrupt as a black to abhorre the remedie But such debauched filthines the loosenes of our age is come to in all kind of lust that I verily thinke if those chast Platos and Lawgivers of old times were now living although Heathens yet would be scorned by many Epicures and Libertines in the Church who thinke it a curbe to their will not to live as they list worse then beasts and Savages Be we therfore who stand to Gods barre a rule to our selves following the steps and practice of such as in our owne degree and ranke go for the most moderate in eyther sexe As hee saide of the endles questions arising about morrall actions let it bee as a wise man would judge so I say of this for questions of this nature are so impossible to be decyded punctually as other the like are of fashions and liberties of our common life that except they be put to a comprimize there wil bee no ende made So much for this third The fourth and last Chastity is that of the body This I make one duty by it selfe For although its true that if the three former were kept this would follow alone yet I say when all is done the body is not to be trusted too farre This sin of uncleannesse is a running sore in our flesh hardly cured Even many otherwise good persons though kept from the act yet by all their strife have scarse felt themselves free through a bodily propensenesse to this evill And Satan is ready to do in this so in other sins even by how much the sin is loathed by so much the more to exasperate this sin not to speake of the falls of those worthies in Scripture So that except there bee a speciall arming our selves against Snares objected and layd in our waies which are innumerable in the lives of such men as have to meddle in the affayres of this life and that with resolution both before and upon the occasion to preserve our selves all our former course taking to shunne temptations by our senses and the like will do us no pleasure when they are brought home by the Devill to our doore and layde in our lap presented in a Lordly dish with secrecie ease and fayre Colors Meere suddennesse of affront marke what I say when nothing else could do it hath prevented some that it hath made them all their life slaves and miserable Take heed bring not uncleane bodies to the marryed estate and bed lest being marryed this dog be not easily rated from the carrion There must aswell bee a fidelity of body as spirit an holy strength to ward off blowes to cut off deadly temptations by the middle by our well ordred members as not to call them in by well awed senses and carriage Chast Ioseph was not only resolved not to provoke himselfe to sin but when he ws suddainly surprized by the offer of an harlot unsought for he abhorred the object as if he had beene warned beforehand It s one thing for a man to have grace another thing to have such a presence of it that when our base hearts are in a readines to embrace present grace is nearer the doore to thrust it away abhor it There is more danger in a prepared snare made ready to our hande then in the speculation or foresight of that which may possibly befall us So much for this fourth which I call Chastity of the body in a speciall sense to note even how the whole man ought to be as well strengthned against the suddennesse of a temptation as beforehand kept from the meanes leading therto And perhaps there are some sorts of men whose sad
at once to make outcries against professors when they prove Bankrupts Adde sixthly to these such hotspurres as will not be idle but runne into another extreame of wilfulnesse rushing upon matters beyond their skill and reach affecting plots and inventions of gaine either by Adventures or by new Manufactures resolved eyther to winne the spurres or to lose all And so they have lost all indeed and withall drawne many with them who were as greedie of gayne into deepe expences and forfeits of their states and indeed they are both well enough served to teach them as Paul speakes to follow their owne affaires with quietnes Others weary of their slow-paced Trades desirous to hasten them how do they enlarge their providence rather their greedines as hell thrusting as many irons at once into the fire as they can come by adding house to house and farme to farme borrowing upon eight gayning scarse four in the hundreth yet dreaming of golden mountaynes Till at last the mistresse of fooles teaching them too late they perceive their haste to have brought foorth blind whelpes and wish they had made no more haste then good speed Eightly how ordinary a course now adaies is it with men as I touched before to wrangle with their callings that they might change them and seeke others till as the dog catching at the shadow they lose the flesh and forfeit that they have which is to cast their present reall estate upon the casual and uncerteyne hope of things to come Yet since this occasion is offred I speake not as if all deserting of a calling or diversion from it for a time were unwarranted For sometime it so falls out by providence that a man deserts Country and all and departs to such a place as will not admit a possibilitie of the exercise of his calling so that in the one he must needes yeeld the other Againe sometimes the outward members senses and the inward abilities of a man desert him and disable him from his calling when as yet some slighter employment may perhaps befit him well enough Necessity of banishment caused many holy men to make buttons and points for their living who before had studied and written books So also the trade may bee so growne out of request eyther by multitude of Traders or by deadnesse of the wares that they cannot support the workemen or they may bee so low and require so much work to be done for mony that a trader cannot live on them Shall then the mayntenance of the family hang upon the strict point of not change of a calling No in no sort But in these or any the like cases wherof are many the end must rule the meanes and any other lawfull course which lies neerest to the skill or sleight of the workman is allowed for the support of the family Onely let men beware lest out of a fickle ungrounded lazy wearisome covetous reaching aspiring spirit they desert not their Callings and if they needs must yet let them chuze to divert rather from them for a tyme and returne to them after when providence yeelds opportunitie for it then shew that they willingly and slightly were mooved to abandon them at the first But this by the way Endlesse it were to mention all abuses in this kynde but to finish how many have wee who through their Rebellion will not be subject to the duty of Providence Others who spoile all by improvidence and having sold all even their wyves clothes off their backe make a mocke of it saying If any can make more of their wyves then they have done let them take them How many others who having gotten a faire estate by their Providence yet wast it as fast by their jollity and lavishnesse making their houses Through-faires for Epicures and boone companions disquieting their poor wives from their setled family busines to wayt upon such base Companions contrary both to her spirit conscience Or if not yet farre from honoring God with their Encrease or their marriage with wise dispensing of their estate These excesses have as thou mayst see good Reader caused mee to lengthen out this Argument as if I had not only treated about marriage Providence but providence in the generall the contrary thereto But I hope that some may light upon what I have sayd amend Thus much for the use of Reproofe Vse 2 The latter use is Exhortation Let all good Husbands honour their Marriage and the Lord by a faithfull improovement of this duty of Providence Let them avoyde all extremities both on the right hand and left and in weldoing commend themselves to God as to a faythfull keeper and God alsufficient Let them neither go to worke carkingly nor yet carelessely Let them abhorre ydlenesse and yet shun ill occupiednesse And by that I have sayd of the sin of Improvidence let them learne the contrary and so shall they as much as in them lyes build up the house give good example to their wives to do the like within serve God with cheerfulnesse and enjoy the fruit of their Travaile with contentednesse when the slothfull and prodigall shall perish and vanish And for this second peculiar duty of the husband viz. Providence so much and for this Chapter CHAP. XII Treateth of the third and last Personall Office of the man Honor of Respectivenesse to his wife NOw I proceed to the third and last duty of the husband towards his wife which is honor and due respect to his wife The ground of which is the ordinance of God by which they are made one flesh For so sayth Moses when the Lord had brought the woman to Adam he embraced her saying This is bone of my Bone and flesh of my flesh Shee shal be called woman because shee is taken out of man For this cause shall a man forsake his father and mother and cleave to his wife and they twayne shal be one flesh Lo with what honorable esteeme he welcomes this his blessed compeere into the world Now its true the wife in this respect oweth the like tye of tendernesse towards him But we must know this first lyes upon the man to her ward because he is the roote of the relation Wee say that love descendes from the Father to the Child because he is the foundation of the reference Not but that mutualnesse is required But the Originall roote must first impart himselfe Now upon this roote of union the Apostle enforceth this duty No man ever hated his owne flesh But nourished theri shed it as himselfe He then that hates his wife is an unnaturall monster and devoures his owne flesh He that loveth his wife loveth himselfe We know how it is in the body Vnion of parts causing samenesse and uniforme subsisting in one procuring an exceeding tendernesse compassion and sympathie betwixt each member So that although the foot stumble and give the body a fall yet a man
his bodily health next under God by keeping the pretious castle of his body in good estate for the health strength and vigor therof It s a Proverbe made in favour of a good wife that if the husband looke well they say I le hath a good wife Shee is his nurse to dresse and provide him savory meate such as his heart loveth she knowes his body to what ailes he is subject his diseases and distempers are knowne to her cheefly she must order his diet shee must disswade him from what is hurtfull present what is wholesome and that not in a seeming curiosity but in a reall and cordiall carefulnesse Shee must bee his welcomer to entertaine him from his wet and cold journies with warmth with harbour with comforts and refreshings For his heart trusts to her for it and no colds wets heates or ill jorneyes can be wearisome to him having so helpfull a yokefellow at home to receive him If he be sicke shee is his best messenger to the Phisitian best tenderest keeper under his Phisick best cook for kitchin Phisick at home and must be the best instrument for recovery For why she tooke him not only for health and prosperity wherin he can provide for himselfe but for sicknesse and disasters wherin he relies upon her helpfulnesse Agâ—ine she is as the shield of his pretious Name and good Report Suffers no fly of her own to light upon that oyntment is impotent to endure or put up any base aspersions upon it honors it and the merit and repute of it hath a speriall facultie to commence and procure an high esteeme of his vertues in the hearts of all especialy in the hearts of such as are worthie to honor a man and shuns all occasions which might cause the â—asest to defame him she hath alwaya covering readie to carry backward upon his nakednesses and blemishes such I say as are to be covered And such as shee is forced to confesse as Nabaâ—s churlishnes and folly by Abigail shee is rather haled thereto by necessity then prone to it with delight She abhorres them whose fingers alway itch at the disgrace of their husbands She chuseth to come betweene his folly and his shame by catching the wound upon her owne flesh and leaving her own bleeding rather then violate his for enduring others to derogate therfrom she puts no great oddes betweene the one or the other knowing that her owne cannot be entire if his be hurt much lesse thinking his losse to be her gayne Fifthly to his family shee is an absolute helper by necessity and cannot be spared not onely in point of housewivery but also in the dispencing the Affayres of it within She crosses not her husband in any labor and education of children she traynes and instructs the tender fry fittest for her hand till meeter for his oversight joines with him in his reproofes and corrections knowing that Satan reignes in the children by the division of parents holdes not his hand from due stroakes but bares their skin with delight to his fatherly stripes defendes neither hers nor his children in their sin And yet as the case requires playes the kinde Mediator alienating the extremity of both wordes and blowes lest they be discouraged yet by coÌ„sent for the breaking of their hearts She counts it her glory by her lenity and love with all innocency to keep accord betweene the children of divers broodes indifferently ensuing both their welfare if not with equal nature yet with the same conscieÌ„ce not seeking to derive the current of her husbands heart to her own but letting it have free passage to them who are equally his She is not in words but in truth not astepmother unto them as loth to betray the one as the other to their fathers wrath or to Gods rejoicing when they are furthest off the dinte of eyther Not as Eve who first had inevitably betrayed all her posterity to ruine together with her selfe ere her husband knew it and then himselfe Not looking at her owne mayntenance and holding the reine in her owne hand without respect what become of them or after the death of her husband unnaturally suffring them to perish while her cruell eies looke on Moreover she sticks close to him in all difficulties nay most then that like to God she may be most seene in the mounte aswell as when his successes are most prosperous In the affront of any ill newes losses discontents injuries she keepes off the dint of sorrow from his spirit wypes away the teares trickling downe his cheeks turnes off what might incense ensues what might satisfie and give him content and putting under her helping shoulders to beare any common burden which must be borne Although her own necke lie upon the blocke and she suffer under any speciall vexation lying on her spirit yet she abhorres to be moaned or eased by outcryes and dolours rather taking it to her selfe biting it in to her owne regret theÌ„ willing that for the sake of one the whole Family should bee in disquiet saying with that wise Shunamite God can reconcile all disproportions be quiet my soule bite not upon the bridle but wayte and all shal be well And as a branch heerof adde this in the last place that if God frowne upon their estate she makes no mutiny nor clamor against heaven or husband her lot and ill Chance for she knowes no such Goddesse as fortune But rather by her own example in submitting to providence to fare hardly to be attried homely when better supplie fayles she drawes her husbands spirit from impatience and unequalnes to equanimity and subjection In submitting of her soule to God even when his hand is sad and the rod is sharpe shee findes sensible ease wayting meekly til God turne the wheele with Naomi bring her home to her wonted welfare And this shall serve for a draught of the third branch of the womans helpfulnes in the conjugall conversation Vse 1 Now its time to finish the Chapter with some use And first of sharpe reproofe For to this end hath the Lord framed woman as I have sayd but shee hath found out new inventions and indeed shee was the first that set her wits on work in this kinde Alas how many women have wee helpfull to others with the hurt of their husbands others helpfull to their husbands with the hurt of others A third sort helpfull to themselves whatsoever hurt befall their husbands And lastly some neither helpfull to themselves nor to their husbands but hurtfull to all but still the helpfull wife is rare to come by And as we see that first helper of man created most perfect yet instantly degenerated and became the greatest hurt to him and his so her Grand-children still tread in her steps so that few husbands therebe but may say with Adam and much more justly The woman thou gavest mee hath undone me If it had been a stranger an Enemy I could have
she bee all blubberd with teares she loseth not her beauty but by the contrary doth commend it so although the occasions of her life are sad aswell as cherefull yet the cloud doth not disanull the sun but causes it to shine thorough with a more acceptable grace So farre I say as weake flesh mixt with much corruption wil admit And this forthe latter What shall I then say for Conclusion of this former part of my text that the married wives must honor their Marriage by this amiable behaviour Surely it instructeth us in and about the variety of couples in marriage The oddes is as great as the difference of the Prophets baskets of figs very good and very naught so that they could not be eaten The gratious wife is not only an helper to the Estate of her husband â—ut shee is a Coâ—fort and contentment to his mind and spirit shee lies in his bosome as a bag of sweet spices under his Aâ—meâ—olâ—s as a perfumed garment to his nostrils as the spikenard of the spouse in the Canticles which gave her savor to the beloved when he lay upon his bed Hence it is that Salomon compares her not onely to the most costly but especially to the most comely things which Nature hath made All her teeth her forhead lips necke bosome thighes legges yea even her very goings are pleasing in his eye he compares her to the lillies to the washed sheepe to the Roes of the Mountaines to the Doves to the Cedars to the Curtains of Salomon and every lovely amiable thing All to shew that amiablenesâ—e and gracefulnes is that principall excellency which commends a wife to her husbands esteem and affection without the which the rest were little worth In other things shee hath a mixture of her selfe but in this she resembles him who hath restored her to her first order and comelinesse in her creation A creation which no outward wealth or price can purchase nothing in the world can equall the reflexion of those graces and the savor of that report which came from her They are in her not for her as the flowers of a garden serve to garnish the house so these grow in her for his use her husbands to adorne and grace his person that he may be knowne in the gates All that City which knew Ruth to be a vertuous woman knew Booz to be an happy man in her himselfe thinking no lesse when he told her so Her vertues indeed shine within her owne sphaere and centre chiefly yet the influence therof is as that oile of Aaron which stayed not where it was first layd upon his head but wet the whole attire and earth about And as that box of costly oyntment though onely powred upon the feete of Christ yet made the whole house savor of it so the temper which ariseth of the simplieity meeknesse modesty of a good wife makes her amiable to such as never saw her face It s as the vices of the bad wife which like oile in the palme of ones hand cannot be hid Contrariwise an unhappy husband falles alone nor in himselfe so much as in his vitious wife who creates abroad dishonour at home discontent to him The best man thus plagued shall hardly avoid one of these imputations either that he is unworthy of a good one because he makes her no better or unhappy because she is no better the one is his sinne the other his shame both his sorrow She is neither comfort to him at home because he is an eie-witnesse of what he would not nor abroad being forced to stop his nose at the ill savour of he vices as Ahigail at Nabals churlishnesse Neither can hee be but as the body sitting upon a rolling stone which is never at rest but alway in conflict with himselfe with wrath and despaire yet there is no way to bee rid of such either in the getting or having except God shew a man favour that a man fall not into her hands So much for information But from this another use arises And that 's admonition to good wives and happy husbands thus much To the good wife this if God have thus graced thee enjoy it not thy selfe but set a Crowne upon thine husband expresse the temper of thy inward vertues in the amiablenesse of a loving and sweet carriag Forget it not even in affliction utter it even in the midst of bodily weaknesse Let thy pleasing influence breake through all opposition and sorrowes as the Sunne breakes through the thick mist or darke cloudes yea although eclipsed in part yet shine in part and let a glimmering appeare remember thou art a true friend made for the day of adversity it is not so thankeworthy for thee to cheere thine husband when he can cheere thee or himselfe without thee while the day of prosperity lasts but then to play the sweet orator and to make him merry when all other comforts have forsaken him in the sad season of sicknesse of sorrow this is better then all musique and melody Every base bird while summer lasts will chirp and chitter But to sing upon the bare bow or thorne bush when the leaves are gone and the cold winter approacheth this argues a wife truly gracefull truly amiable and cheerfull and next to the Soules peace with God is the greatest content under the Sunne I exhort no woman to play the hypocrite neither indeed can gracefulnesse be long acted by any apish imitator But I entreat her whom God hath thus graced to understand the use she serves for not concealing her selfe but to the uttermost to apply her selfe to the comfort of her husband And for himselfe this I say If God hath thus honored thee with such a wife understand oh man thine owne happinesse and digest it seriously with thanks to him who hath framed her so and brought her so framed into thy bosome Let her finde by good experience there is no love lost but let thy heart rest in her and trust to her seale her a bond of thy sure and faithfull respect againe and let her see she hath not a wearisome Nabal to do with who cannot value that which is pretious in her at a due rate Set her as a signet on thy right hand and let her be neerer thine heart then thy costliest jewell Let it not be enough that thou canst love one who hath honoured thee more then all thy wealth or birth could doe but procure her honour in all places and suffer none to eclipse her worth Give her of the worke of her hands and let her workes praise her in the gates And so much bee spoken for the use of this third Branch and so touching the meane to preserve the honour of Marriage by the duties which concerne each party in severall And thus having at last absolved this Taske which I undertooke to wit to shew how Matrimoniall honor may both bee purchased and preserved entire viz first
such as are pure in heart and bodie without shall bee Dogs and Swine sensuall Epicures uncleane persons within shal bee all cleane and chast ones And this conclusion I cannot omit as having before grounded it in the text Marriage is Honorable and the bed undefiled and God will blesse all that so preserve it But whoredome and Adultery are odious and base in Gods esteeme and hee will judge all such as pollute themselves thereby you see that the Parallel of the two members of the Text doth necessarily import it Blessed art thou that fearest the Lord in this particular Thy wife shal be as the vine about thine house Thy Children as olive plants about thy Table The Lord shall blesse thy Stock and store thy goings out and comming in thou shalt eate of the fruite of thy labours and see the travaile of thine hands with peace and prosperity to Israel As all the plagues of the uncleane shall pursue the former so shall all the blessinges of the cleane follow thee Thy body shal be cleane thy health continued thy posterity shal be pure and be free from pollution as an holy seed thy estate shall prosper thy Name shal be savory and as an Oyntment powrd out Thy selfe shalt see God for so shall all pure in heart do and the Lord shall bring thee forth with honor one day with chast Joseph whom God released from all false aspersions loe here are they that have washed their garments in the blood of the Lambe walk undefiled have not toucht any uncleane thing therfore I will be a father unto them and they shal be Sons and Daughters of the Lord Almighty yea thy foule garments shal be all taken from thee and the cleane linnen of the Saints shal be put upon thee and thou shalt walk with Christ in white for he hath câ—unted thee worthy Onely preserve thy soule in sutable purity with thy Body keep both in holines and honor and thou shalt inherit all the promises of God made to such The Papists do not so much magnify their vestall virgins because they are not defiled with men though many of them are as the Lord shall honor thee before men and Angells as his chast and undefiled spouse and set a Crowne of glorie upon thine head Thy marriage shall not prejudice nor stain this virginity fear it not such as have abused this honorable estate calling it a life of the flesh shall not come where thou hast to do to interrupt to disturbe thy happines Enjoy this thy Comfort here Seperate thy selfe from all uncleannes of body and spirit yea hate the Garment spotted with the flesh Seperate the pretious from the vile and thou shalt be honorable Oh ye Ministers of the Lord that carrie his vessels in your handes and draw neer to him bee ye cleane and handle not his matters with unclean handes defile not his Bible his Church â—acraments Ordinances with polluted handes bodies and the Lord shall say to you as to his Prophet you shal be precious Finaly to conclude All ye his people who have got out of this depthe of uncleannesse be truly thankfull to God never cease to magnifie him for so narrow a scape and so great a Deliverance it s a thousand to one that ever you got out of this pit do not try conclusions put it not to the venture by sinning againe whether God will plucke you out the second time If you will try know that if ever at all you get to heaven you shall find it an harde worke Play not the Mountebankes to thrust your flesh through because you have balme at command to thrust after it you may perhaps misse of it when you would have it and if God save you it shal be as through fire though God cannot repent if ever you were his yet he shall make every veine in your hearts to ake ere you come to feel it and that Kingdome of God which else might have affoarded large entrance unto you shall now become a narrowe passage If you love your soules bring not such a needlesse sorrow upon your selves It s enough too much thatâ— you spent so much of your former daies in the vanity of the flesh the service of your Iusts spendther in holy awe and godly fear Say with Hezekia and David The living shall prayse thee the dead will not can not But I will sacrifice to the Lord with the voice of thanksgiving Salvation is of the Lord. To him Father Son and Spirit Vnity in Trinity and Trinity in Vnity be all honor and prayse for ever Amen A Table of the principall things of this Treatise Alphabetically framed A. THe Analyse of the Text. Pag. 1. Admonition to prevent the dishonour of Mariage 14. Admonition to the religious party Maried to the irreligious 37. Advice of the most judicious friends requisite for marriage 54. Aptnesse and sutablenesse required in marriage 60. Acceptions against the generall rule 62. 63. Who are Apt or unapt 62. ibid. Admonition against overweening our owne strength in unapt marriage 65. Affecters of unequall marriages to learne to be wiser 69. Admonition to all parties to beware of their marriage promises 102. Admonition against discord in marriage Sundry Caveats 1. Be not consident of your owne strength 2. Pray for this Grace of Amiablenesse 3. Put on the Lord Jesus Christ his meeknes 4. Renounce not God to use Carnall shifts 5. Each parts keep the severall bounds of their place 6. Be prepared before for the hardest 194. 195. 196. 197. 198. 199. 200. Instructions to forward Professors to beware of the sinne of Adultery 352. Admonition to usurping women in matters of God taxed 284. Admonition to the wife against the evill of priding her selfe in her diligence and houswifery 295. Attire of women subject to their Husbands direction 275. Adultery a great sinne Objections against it answered 329. God will have all uncleannes laid open in his colours us odious 330. Reasons of the point 333. 1. Vncleannesse is a very neere and naturall affection 2. Men are very proâ—e to blanch it over 3. This sinne enchanteth and bribeâ—h the judgement 4. Adultery is full of Colours and excuses to hide it selfe undâ—r 5. Either for prevention of the sinne or stopping the mouth of the Sinner 6. that sensuality might have the more strong disswasives to 337. Gods judgements against Adultery and uncleannesse in many Branches See Judgements Instructions to be subdued by the Terror of God against it 315. Admonition to all uncleane ones 348. in two Branches 1. Desace not Gods way 2. To preveâ—t the sinne 349. B. IN Couples where both are Bad the woman commonly is the worst 24. in â—ine Good admonitions to Bad Couples 36. When the good and Bad joine together seldome is the worse bettered by the good but often the better is marrea by the worser party 37. 38. C. COmfort and encouragement to good couples who honour their marriage 17. Jewish Contracts what and how solemnized Pag. vid.