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truth_n shall_v find_v i_o here_o such_o as_o i_o have_v be_v and_o not_o such_o as_o i_o may_v be_v traduce_v june_n the_o first_o 1637._o i_o must_v not_o forget_v to_o thank_v god_n that_o my_o fortune_n be_v not_o utter_o ruin_v consider_v how_o all_o help_n and_o hope_n have_v fail_v i_o in_o my_o cure_n and_o otherwise_o how_o costly_a diversion_n have_v be_v unto_o i_o whereby_o to_o support_v myself_o and_o how_o unfit_a i_o have_v be_v in_o the_o mean_a time_n to_o look_v to_o my_o estate_n debauch_n and_o gluttony_n have_v spoil_v many_o a_o body_n and_o fortune_n scrupulous_a abstinence_n and_o care_n i_o though_o i_o acknowledge_v my_o fortune_n and_o estate_n leave_v i_o be_v such_o as_o by_o this_o time_n i_o can_v in_o likelihood_n have_v so_o improve_v as_o that_o my_o quality_n shall_v not_o require_v a_o better_a yet_o this_o give_v i_o leave_v to_o make_v appear_v that_o be_v engage_v to_o marriage_n before_o eighteen_o year_n of_o age_n i_o have_v my_o quality_n 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its_o root_n from_o myself_o but_o rather_o from_o fatal_a mis-accident_n and_o predecessor_n undue_a consideration_n the_o good_a god_n be_v please_v to_o bless_v my_o son_n and_o make_v he_o as_o happy_a as_o i_o have_v be_v unhappy_a for_o my_o whole_a life_n since_o i_o have_v be_v a_o man_n have_v be_v but_o a_o conflict_n with_o the_o worst_a of_o disease_n and_o a_o wearisome_a seek_v for_o contentment_n plunge_v in_o a_o inextricable_a gulf_n of_o all_o misery_n another_o man_n possible_o will_v not_o have_v come_v off_o so_o well_o in_o fortune_n body_n or_o mind_n good_a god_n how_o vain_a and_o miserable_a a_o thing_n be_v man_n without_o thy_o good_a spirit_n to_o direct_v he_o by_o nature_n corrupt_v by_o art_n sophisticate_a and_o confound_v how_o lose_v in_o the_o ignorance_n and_o inexperience_n of_o youth_n how_o short_a of_o the_o tranquillity_n of_o other_o creature_n how_o often_o ruin_v by_o accident_n by_o mistake_a course_n i_o by_o that_o which_o man_n call_v good_a nature_n yet_o happy_a in_o worldly_a account_n be_v they_o who_o nature_n lead_v they_o not_o only_o to_o affect_v thrift_n which_o many_o by_o reason_n of_o other_o not_o bad_a affection_n imperfect_o do_v but_o to_o make_v it_o their_o pleasure_n their_o felicity_n which_o humour_n thorough_o possess_v they_o please_v profit_v and_o advance_v they_o in_o fortune_n and_o reputation_n whilst_o other_o breed_v to_o more_o ingenuous_a and_o fair_a appear_a way_n and_o study_n unthrifty_o miscarry_v how_o ill_o &_o unadvised_o do_v parent_n provide_v for_o their_o young_a heir_n give_v they_o tutor_n for_o learning_n and_o art_n neglect_v their_o instruction_n in_o true_a virtue_n and_o use_v of_o the_o world_n and_o their_o fortune_n how_o lamentable_a it_o be_v to_o see_v many_o who_o if_o leave_v to_o themselves_o will_v do_v well_o enough_o in_o the_o world_n overswaied_n by_o other_o and_o so_o turn_v out_o of_o their_o way_n as_o that_o they_o can_v recover_v themselves_o but_o alas_o why_o suppose_v i_o it_o will_v go_v well_o with_o we_o if_o leave_v to_o ourselves_o who_o know_v nothing_o more_o assure_o than_o this_o that_o all_o humane_a wit_n and_o resolution_n be_v vain_a without_o the_o powerful_a grace_n of_o god_n to_o assist_v we_o that_o i_o implore_v that_o alone_o be_v my_o comfort_n and_o support_v that_o sweeten_v all_o the_o bitterness_n of_o fortune_n unto_o i_o and_o but_o for_o that_o i_o will_v a_o thousand_o time_n as_o resolute_o and_o constant_o have_v leave_v this_o life_n as_o other_o fond_o and_o dote_o embrace_v it_o christian_a religion_n have_v need_n be_v maintain_v in_o our_o heart_n by_o a_o strong_a hand_n from_o above_o see_v it_o abridge_v we_o not_o only_o of_o our_o general_a liberty_n of_o this_o world_n delight_n but_o even_o of_o the_o freedom_n of_o leave_v the_o world_n when_o it_o afford_v no_o delight_n unto_o we_o june_n the_o seven_o 1637._o many_o thing_n concur_v to_o make_v i_o melancholy_n as_o a_o complexion_n sanguine_a incline_v to_o delight_n and_o pleasure_n yet_o withal_o a_o natural_a scrupulosity_n of_o election_n sensible_a of_o fair_a reputation_n and_o thrift_n affect_v with_o knowledge_n and_o at_o length_n a_o conscientious_a tenderness_n of_o faith_n and_o religion_n work_v i_o the_o great_a happiness_n but_o not_o without_o great_a perplexity_n i_o be_v young_a enter_v at_o court_n and_o by_o accident_n quick_o disheartened_a for_o that_o course_n the_o use_n of_o my_o fortune_n in_o the_o country_n be_v by_o want_n of_o mean_n to_o keep_v a_o comely_a house_n and_o other_o many_o cross_a respect_n not_o free_a unto_o i_o and_o though_o afterward_o i_o be_v draw_v to_o housekeep_v against_o my_o will_n and_o discourse_n yet_o both_o in_o my_o estate_n and_o disease_n by_o the_o care_n &_o retiredness_n incident_a thereunto_o especial_o in_o a_o short_a fortune_n it_o prove_v most_o pernicious_a unto_o i_o my_o disease_n likewise_o be_v much_o if_o not_o original_o occasion_v in_o my_o body_n by_o a_o overusing_a of_o new_a treacle_n against_o a_o danger_n of_o the_o plague_n which_o i_o fall_v into_o by_o mr._n sanders_n his_o death_n thereof_o near_o to_o i_o in_o his_o travel_n with_o i_o at_o his_o return_n from_o london_n the_o first_o of_o king_n james._n as_o also_o by_o a_o overspare_n and_o evil_a diet_n who_o for_o long_o together_o feed_v on_o little_a meat_n of_o good_a nourishment_n but_o only_o fat_a dredging_n skin_n and_o such_o like_a and_o in_o truth_n scarce_o ever_o man_n of_o my_o strong_a constitution_n and_o health_n give_v less_o way_n to_o himself_o in_o please_v his_o appetite_n this_o and_o much_o more_o wrought_v a_o alteration_n upon_o my_o mind_n and_o make_v i_o seek_v a_o supply_n of_o former_a pleasure_n by_o entertain_v myself_o with_o study_n and_o
the_o irish_a sea_n so_o troublesome_a and_o dangerous_a there_o be_v a_o proportion_n of_o bear_v beyond_o which_o we_o sink_v i_o be_v in_o my_o prime_a youth_n encounter_v with_o many_o unfavourable_a dysaster_n etc._n etc._n the_o great_a change_n of_o the_o court_n and_o long_a greatness_n of_o they_o who_o accident_n etc._n etc._n my_o other_o absence_n in_o travail_n hinder_v my_o fall_n in_o with_o those_o time_n my_o retiredness_n by_o that_o course_n and_o over-exact_a study_n of_o language_n which_o certain_o be_v proper_a only_a to_o child_n to_o who_o it_o come_v insensible_o and_o be_v most_o troublesome_a to_o curious_a spirit_n these_o and_o much_o more_o conspire_v against_o i_o i_o will_v when_o my_o fortune_n be_v whole_a have_v match_v my_o son_n then_o very_o young_a and_o have_v assure_v my_o land_n upon_o he_o for_o a_o reasonable_a portion_n it_o can_v not_o be_v my_o predecessor_n after_o a_o long_a and_o desperate_a sickness_n live_v just_a enough_o to_o marry_v i_o and_o many_o strange_a thing_n than_o these_o have_v befall_v i_o in_o the_o article_n of_o a_o catastrophe_n to_o my_o fortune_n november_n 2._o 1637._o to_o say_v something_o still_o of_o diverse_a ambiguity_n and_o perplexity_n incident_a to_o my_o condition_n and_o fortune_n which_o beside_o the_o accidental_a melancholy_n breed_v in_o my_o body_n can_v hardly_o sail_v to_o work_v a_o alteration_n and_o disease_n upon_o a_o mind_n curious_a of_o avoid_v inconvenience_n and_o choose_v the_o best_a my_o nature_n be_v bend_v to_o ordinary_a pleasure_n yet_o moral_o withdraw_v to_o a_o observation_n of_o decency_n virtue_n moderation_n and_o improvement_n of_o knowledge_n with_o a_o acquisite_a affectation_n of_o philosophical_a moral_a civil_a and_o christian_a perfection_n wherein_o as_o well_o for_o vogue_n fashion_n and_o reputation_n as_o truth_n i_o can_v not_o willing_o consent_v to_o come_v short_a of_o the_o best_a when_o i_o grow_v towards_o manhood_n be_v of_o myself_o dispose_v to_o forbear_v marriage_n until_o i_o shall_v be_v thirty_o year_n old_a and_o then_o not_o to_o marry_v without_o great_a choice_n in_o fit_v myself_o and_o obtain_v a_o fullness_n of_o fortune_n to_o set_v myself_o at_o ease_n in_o my_o quality_n and_o that_o estate_n â—&c_n â—&c_n â—&c_n i_o see_v the_o inconvenience_n but_o wife_n child_n and_o my_o disease_n make_v i_o unfit_a for_o another_o man_n house_n and_o though_o i_o wish_v yet_o i_o can_v not_o resolve_v a_o change_n which_o to_o i_o who_o can_v never_o easy_o admit_v a_o resolution_n with_o inconvenience_n attend_v it_o be_v ever_o abhorrent_n my_o natural_a curiosity_n who_o mind_n be_v never_o quiet_a till_o all_o circumstance_n and_o conveniency_n be_v run_v over_o and_o over_o and_o accommodate_v by_o i_o make_v all_o thing_n especial_o in_o a_o seat_n of_o my_o own_o most_o troublesome_a to_o the_o melancholy_a taint_a spirit_n nothing_o be_v more_o unfit_a than_o idleness_n nothing_o more_o troublesome_a than_o its_o curious_a discourse_v upon_o resolution_n nothing_o more_o unfit_a than_o confinement_n to_o one_o place_n yet_o nothing_o more_o hard_a then_o to_o resolve_v and_o digest_v change_n and_o alteration_n once_o marry_v i_o be_v set_v to_o seek_v how_o to_o live_v where_o to_o live_v my_o birth_n and_o breed_n be_v in_o the_o city_n my_o affection_n and_o chief_a seat_n in_o cambridgeshire_n but_o many_o strong_a consideration_n divert_v i_o from_o it_o the_o court_n where_o i_o be_v young_a enter_v follow_v may_v have_v keep_v i_o from_o that_o depth_n of_o melancholy_n whereunto_o travail_n study_n and_o retiredness_n in_o care_n and_o fancy_n of_o what_o belong_v to_o a_o house_n drown_v i_o but_o that_o also_o by_o accident_n be_v unfit_a for_o i_o yet_o at_o length_n for_o a_o strong_a diversion_n and_o under_o so_o brave_a a_o patronage_n as_o that_o of_o prince_n henry_n i_o readventure_v upon_o it_o but_o his_o immature_n death_n and_o much_o sickness_n of_o my_o own_o follow_v upon_o it_o with_o other_o disproportion_n final_o alien_v i_o from_o that_o course_n thus_o and_o much_o more_o have_v my_o life_n be_v a_o conflict_n with_o disease_n and_o fortune_n i_o have_v former_o touch_v many_o more_o particular_n yet_o not_o all_o nor_o the_o worst_a it_o be_v one_o of_o the_o great_a in_o satisfaction_n of_o writing_n to_o a_o ingenuous_a spirit_n in_o most_o important_a matter_n to_o have_v least_o freedom_n there_o be_v many_o noli_fw-la i_o tangere's_fw-fr the_o contrast_n of_o god_n grace_n and_o religion_n against_o the_o impetuosity_n of_o natural_a affection_n have_v be_v many_o year_n my_o great_a combat_n i_o have_v fight_v resolute_o but_o receive_v many_o foil_n yet_o by_o the_o infinite_a goodness_n of_o my_o saviour_n i_o have_v receive_v such_o most_o unexpected_a succour_n that_o to_o my_o unvaluable_a comfort_n i_o triumph_v etc._n etc._n i_o have_v dedicate_v myself_o next_o to_o god_n whole_o to_o my_o son_n and_o have_v many_o year_n endeavour_v his_o good_a beyond_o my_o own_o i_o have_v now_o make_v myself_o his_o pensioner_n and_o i_o wish_v no_o worldly_a happiness_n more_o than_o his_o prosperity_n thus_o with_o a_o run_a pen_n i_o ease_v my_o mind_n which_o though_o with_o no_o serious_a exactness_n yet_o with_o little_a prejudice_n to_o my_o health_n for_o otherwise_o the_o strength_n of_o my_o disease_n will_v not_o suffer_v i_o to_o bear_v the_o strength_n and_o curiosity_n of_o my_o own_o discourse_n he_o who_o be_v subject_a to_o melancholy_n let_v he_o shun_v as_o a_o rock_n at_o sea_n over-studying_a or_o tire_v of_o his_o thought_n and_o when_o he_o find_v conclusion_n come_v not_o off_o clear_o and_o that_o a_o restinesse_n of_o discourse_n grow_v upon_o he_o let_v he_o give_v over_o for_o the_o present_a not_o admit_v the_o least_o tumultuation_n till_o such_o a_o good_a and_o fit_a time_n after_o as_o he_o may_v return_v new_a and_o fresh_a to_o work_v by_o this_o mean_n shall_v he_o avoid_v much_o hurt_n of_o his_o spirit_n and_o attain_v better_o to_o his_o end_n in_o read_v also_o little_a and_o little_a at_o once_o shall_v dispatch_v more_o and_o that_o without_o inconvenience_n of_o health_n then_o much_o together_o to_o the_o oppression_n of_o the_o soul_n ne_fw-la quid_fw-la nimis_fw-la in_o all_o thing_n be_v a_o excellent_a instruction_n how_o many_o a_o man_n have_v tire_v his_o horse_n by_o ride_v a_o little_a too_o fast_o who_o may_v otherwise_o have_v come_v well_o to_o his_o journey_n end_n the_o like_a be_v see_v in_o expense_n a_o very_a little_a contract_n will_v often_o have_v give_v ease_n and_o thirst_n where_o a_o very_a small_a overspending_a have_v breed_v continual_a want_n and_o ruin_n by_o my_o miserable_a experience_n i_o can_v give_v many_o rule_n upon_o this_o world_n course_n and_o melancholy_a moderation_n be_v good_a but_o god_n grace_n be_v above_o all_o and_o without_o it_o nothing_o can_v prosper_v how_o lusty_o do_v the_o root_n feed_v a_o tree_n who_o branch_n be_v few_o and_o small_a in_o respect_n to_o the_o all-seeing_a god_n be_v glory_n for_o with_o we_o but_o through_o he_o dwell_v nothing_o but_o darkness_n error_n frailty_n and_o ignorance_n november_n 4._o 1637._o my_o gracious_a god_n the_o support_n and_o guide_v of_o we_o and_o all_o our_o action_n since_o thou_o have_v vouch_v save_v to_o grant_v i_o a_o firm_a and_o happy_a faith_n in_o christ_n and_o love_n of_o thou_o with_o a_o contempt_n of_o all_o earthly_a and_o carnal_a joy_n confirm_v unto_o i_o i_o most_o humble_o beseech_v thou_o thy_o heavenly_a grace_n and_o the_o comfort_n of_o thy_o good_a spirit_n for_o i_o abhor_v myself_o whensoever_o that_o joy_n fail_v i_o or_o any_o worldly_a affection_n assault_v i_o none_o more_o than_o i_o know_v their_o vanity_n their_o unsoundnesse_n their_o emptiness_n of_o all_o true_a and_o perfect_a satisfaction_n such_o as_o leave_v i_o ever_o to_o seek_v ever_o unquiet_a till_o such_o time_n as_o i_o whole_o resign_v myself_o unto_o thou_o the_o world_n be_v a_o wilderness_n of_o ravenous_a beast_n there_o be_v no_o path_n no_o safety_n no_o contentment_n or_o protection_n but_o through_o thy_o favour_n sweet_a lord_n impart_v it_o unto_o i_o and_o i_o shall_v find_v that_o quiet_a and_o joy_n of_o heart_n which_o i_o have_v ever_o want_v help_v i_o for_o i_o shall_v hate_v myself_o if_o through_o the_o infirmity_n of_o my_o flesh_n and_o blood_n i_o reap_v not_o more_o joy_n and_o complacence_n in_o my_o surrender_n to_o thou_o and_o in_o thy_o grace_n than_o ever_o i_o do_v or_o can_v find_v in_o the_o most_o full_a and_o flatter_a pleasure_n which_o this_o instable_a world_n afford_v i_o have_v often_o find_v thy_o most_o merciful_a and_o miraculous_a relief_n and_o support_n beyond_o expectation_n beyond_o natural_a conceit_n let_v thy_o mercy_n and_o grace_n continue_v with_o i_o to_o my_o end_n and_o
at_o thy_o good_a pleasure_n set_v a_o period_n to_o that_o life_n which_o i_o only_o hold_v in_o expectation_n of_o a_o happy_a discharge_n and_o dissolution_n by_o thou_o amen_o amen_n november_n 5._o 1637._o a_o physician_n once_o tell_v i_o upon_o repair_n to_o he_o for_o my_o disease_n that_o i_o be_v to_o resort_v to_o god_n call_v upon_o he_o for_o his_o grace_n and_o guide_v myself_o by_o he_o or_o to_o like_a effect_n i_o think_v it_o then_o strange_a and_o improper_a in_o his_o profession_n but_o i_o have_v find_v it_o speak_v like_o my_o good_a angel_n for_o there_o be_v no_o such_o anchor_n nor_o such_o receipt_n to_o a_o trouble_a to_o a_o agitate_a soul_n the_o melancholy_a humour_n once_o predominant_a in_o despite_n of_o judgement_n and_o resolution_n will_v obtrude_v importunate_a thought_n and_o fancy_n take_v occasion_n from_o almost_o every_o object_n to_o make_v a_o troublesome_a and_o discourse_a impression_n make_v thing_n otherwise_o of_o easy_a resolution_n anxious_a and_o vex_v represent_v difficulty_n as_o fast_o as_o design_n whereunto_o free_a spirit_n be_v not_o in_o the_o least_o sort_n obnoxious_a they_o be_v in_o a_o clear_a light_n and_o alacrity_n delight_v in_o themselves_o entertain_v and_o divert_v with_o ordinary_a conversation_n business_n and_o pastime_n while_o the_o other_o droop_v and_o howsoever_o often_o natural_o quick_a will_v play_v upon_o the_o wing_n the_o melancholy_a clog_n check_n and_o pull_v they_o to_o the_o ground_n god_n alone_o be_v the_o hercules_n that_o can_v purge_v that_o augean_a stable_n the_o aesculapius_n who_o can_v give_v relief_n ordinary_a physic_n be_v but_o a_o palliation_n nay_o often_o a_o aggravation_n of_o the_o disease_n the_o powder_n call_v kellowayes_n powder_n with_o god_n blessing_n be_v to_o be_v prize_v for_o it_o go_v to_o the_o root_n it_o work_v at_o length_n and_o so_o as_o the_o patient_n may_v sleep_v play_v go_v on_o in_o a_o ordinary_a diet_n and_o course_n a_o common_a and_o long_a course_n which_o urge_v keep_v in_o weaken_v and_o make_v tender_a be_v mischievous_a and_o incompatible_a if_o such_o powder_n breed_v inconvenience_n epsam_fw-la religion_n water_n though_o but_o a_o draught_n in_o a_o day_n at_o morning_n wonderful_o allay_v and_o rectify_v as_o also_o the_o use_n of_o new_a and_o good_a cider_n these_o with_o god_n grace_n constant_a exercise_n and_o a_o moderation_n of_o the_o mind_n be_v incomparable_a probatum_fw-la god_n have_v give_v i_o so_o strong_a a_o body_n and_o mind_n to_o bear_v the_o injury_n i_o have_v receive_v from_o myself_o accident_n and_o course_n of_o physic_n that_o i_o admire_v may_v it_o please_v he_o to_o make_v my_o life_n and_o death_n to_o his_o glory_n november_n 6._o 1637._o good_a god_n of_o thy_o great_a goodness_n continue_v thy_o mercy_n upon_o i_o and_o as_o i_o have_v hitherto_o prove_v the_o truth_n of_o all_o worldly_a thing_n to_o be_v nothing_o but_o vanity_n and_o vexation_n of_o spirit_n so_o be_v thou_o to_o i_o joy_n and_o comfort_n it_o be_v true_a that_o my_o nature_n education_n course_n of_o life_n and_o disease_n require_v society_n and_o diversion_n the_o consideration_n of_o my_o past_a and_o present_a fortune_n be_v full_a of_o sadness_n but_o thou_o can_v raise_v light_a out_o of_o darkness_n and_o joy_n from_o sorrow_n thy_o good_a spirit_n be_v the_o spirit_n of_o comfort_n and_o without_o thou_o there_o be_v true_o none_o thou_o have_v bless_v i_o so_o far_o as_o to_o have_v allay_v satisfy_v and_o expel_v all_o my_o worldly_a fancy_n i_o have_v fit_v my_o house_n and_o fortune_n to_o my_o son_n in_o as_o much_o as_o i_o affect_v and_o be_v capable_a bless_v it_o unto_o he_o and_o by_o thy_o grace_n exempt_v he_o from_o these_o unquietness_n which_o i_o have_v find_v there_o be_v no_o perfect_a no_o solid_a happiness_n in_o this_o world_n teach_v he_o to_o bear_v such_o inconvenience_n as_o may_v be_v better_o bear_v than_o seek_v with_o a_o unquiet_a unsettle_n to_o be_v avoid_v it_o have_v be_v to_o i_o a_o great_a disease_n to_o over-humour_n myself_o therein_o there_o will_v in_o all_o condition_n be_v something_o amiss_o a_o mind_n curious_a and_o impatient_a be_v a_o great_a mischief_n thus_o appear_v that_o which_o have_v be_v observe_v that_o man_n seldom_o or_o never_o betake_v themselves_o to_o good_a and_o right_a course_n till_o such_o time_n as_o a_o press_a necessity_n i_o may_v rather_o say_v god_n compel_v and_o enforce_v they_o necessity_n i_o have_v ever_o say_v be_v the_o sure_a reformer_n then_o and_o not_o till_o then_o and_o often_o after_o smart_n we_o contract_v ourselves_o and_o contain_v and_o refrain_v our_o extravagancy_n presumption_n dissolution_n and_o luxuriant_a fancy_n november_n 6._o 1637._o a_o search_v spirit_n fall_v among_o the_o crudity_n and_o cavil_v of_o this_o world_n sophistry_n and_o imperfection_n be_v a_o great_a oppressor_n it_o be_v well_o if_o contention_n lay_v only_o as_o some_o affirm_v in_o the_o brink_n and_o not_o in_o the_o depth_n of_o science_n search_n show_v it_o far_o otherwise_o it_o be_v a_o happy_a spirit_n that_o can_v pass_v light_o over_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n and_o even_o in_o matter_n and_o mystery_n of_o faith_n curiosity_n be_v neither_o safe_a nor_o allowable_a i_o be_o something_o of_o the_o nature_n of_o those_o dog_n which_o come_v into_o a_o strange_a place_n rest_v not_o till_o they_o have_v ferit_v every_o corner_n it_o be_v likewise_o a_o natural_a importunity_n with_o i_o in_o any_o thing_n that_o concern_v i_o in_o mind_n body_n or_o fortune_n not_o to_o take_v full_a rest_n till_o such_o time_n as_o to_o my_o capacity_n i_o have_v run_v over_o all_o that_o seem_v to_o belong_v to_o such_o resolution_n willing_o i_o sit_v not_o down_o short_a of_o other_o man_n i_o mean_v in_o honesty_n decency_n and_o knowledge_n much_o less_o short_a of_o myself_o world_n yet_o if_o we_o serious_o and_o curious_o mind_v these_o earthly_a thing_n they_o be_v full_a of_o scruple_n and_o vexation_n if_o we_o slight_v they_o a_o deliberate_v nature_n want_v much_o of_o satisfaction_n and_o contentment_n and_o do_v as_o it_o be_v brutifie_v and_o sin_n against_o itself_o yet_o so_o shall_v it_o as_o well_o minus_n dolere_fw-la as_o gaudere_fw-la it_o be_v that_o which_o i_o have_v long_o since_o find_v and_o affirm_v that_o if_o we_o set_v our_o heart_n on_o these_o worldly_a matter_n they_o prove_v foolishness_n and_o perturbation_n if_o we_o be_v cold_a and_o dull_a in_o they_o all_o thing_n be_v alike_o but_o it_o be_v the_o misery_n of_o a_o hot_a complexion_n that_o it_o require_v entertainment_n hot_a full_a and_o stir_v etc._n etc._n where_o grace_n once_o infuse_v itself_o all_o earthly_a trouble_n be_v evacuate_v that_o alone_o be_v friend_n pleasure_n and_o advantage_n enough_o it_o be_v all-sufficient_a all_o consolation_n perfect_a then_o good_a god_n the_o inestimable_a gift_n of_o faith_n which_o thou_o have_v give_v i_o it_o be_v true_o thy_o gift_n flesh_n and_o blood_n can_v afford_v nor_o relish_v it_o thy_o way_n to_o it_o be_v wonderful_a often_o sharp_a but_o most_o sweet_a in_o the_o conclusion_n i_o kiss_v thy_o rod_n i_o rejoice_v in_o my_o affliction_n and_o feel_v that_o i_o have_v perish_v if_o i_o have_v not_o perish_v thou_o who_o have_v rebuke_v the_o wind_n and_o they_o have_v obey_v thou_o rectify_v my_o spirit_n and_o calm_v all_o suggestion_n all_o storm_n within_o i_o then_o may_v melancholy_a be_v infectious_a but_o not_o mortal_a then_o shall_v i_o live_v and_o die_v to_o thou_o and_o thy_o glory_n which_o be_v all_o my_o ambition_n all_o my_o prayer_n november_n 7._o 1637._o i_o have_v not_o find_v any_o thing_n more_o strange_a nor_o be_v more_o abuse_v in_o any_o thing_n than_o that_o constitution_n of_o soul_n which_o be_v frequent_a and_o more_o or_o less_o incident_a to_o we_o all_o so_o mix_v so_o heterogene_a so_o pregnant_a and_o right_a of_o understanding_n in_o some_o thing_n and_o so_o dull_a and_o wrong_v in_o other_o such_o common_o be_v they_o which_o most_o disturb_v the_o world_n as_o dissonant_n from_o weakness_n as_o true_a strength_n of_o judgement_n exhibit_v according_a to_o the_o say_v such_o production_n as_o a_o fool_n can_v not_o and_o perfection_n will_v not_o so_o appear_v docile_a and_o capable_a of_o reason_n and_o improvement_n and_o yet_o in_o effect_n so_o insensate_a incorrigible_a and_o unalterable_a as_o it_o be_v hard_o to_o conceive_v how_o such_o incongruity_n and_o inconsequence_n shall_v consist_v in_o the_o same_o subject_n or_o in_o truth_n how_o they_o can_v quadrate_n with_o a_o soul_n rational_a and_o instructible_a but_o there_o be_v assign_v to_o we_o all_o a_o natural_a stature_n in_o all_o thing_n which_o no_o art_n food_n or_o industry_n can_v enable_v we_o to_o exceed_v the_o order_n of_o
your_o bound_n place_n force_v no_o man_n they_o have_v their_o several_a advantage_n and_o disadvantage_n like_o other_o thing_n and_o be_v to_o be_v embrace_v as_o discretion_n and_o affection_n shall_v lead_v certain_o the_o travail_a course_n use_v of_o late_a especial_o in_o the_o most_o spiritual_a and_o academical_a mind_n breed_v a_o great_a partiality_n to_o the_o equal_a conversation_n of_o town_n but_o not_o without_o danger_n of_o be_v alien_v from_o the_o knowledge_n of_o your_o own_o and_o as_o much_o abuse_v therein_o by_o other_o as_o of_o abuse_v yourself_o in_o be_v carry_v away_o with_o the_o city_n vanity_n and_o unfruitful_a idleness_n the_o country_n life_n be_v assure_o most_o natural_a pleasant_a settle_a and_o profitable_a to_o the_o english_a breed_n and_o course_n do_v but_o you_o care_v for_o yourself_o as_o i_o have_v care_v for_o you_o and_o all_o shall_v with_o god_n blessing_n go_v well_o with_o your_o mind_n and_o well_o with_o your_o fortune_n seek_v your_o happiness_n from_o god_n grace_n and_o bounty_n he_o will_v not_o fail_v to_o give_v it_o you_o make_v christ_n your_o rock_n and_o you_o have_v a_o sure_a foundation_n december_n 19_o 1637._o quos_fw-la perdere_fw-la vult_fw-la jupiter_n hos_fw-la dementat_fw-la be_v a_o true_a say_n apply_v to_o a_o false_a god_n but_o my_o god_n have_v often_o deprive_v i_o in_o some_o particular_n of_o the_o use_n of_o my_o ordinary_a reason_n and_o discourse_n to_o act_v thing_n against_o my_o knowledge_n my_o end_n my_o resolution_n and_o myself_o he_o have_v raise_v oftentimes_o strange_a and_o independent_a combine_v constellation_n against_o i_o i_o have_v evident_o discover_v his_o footstep_n therein_o and_o he_o have_v thereby_o lead_v i_o to_o my_o salvation_n there_o be_v no_o redemption_n to_o mankind_n but_o in_o christ_n nor_o can_v the_o wound_a and_o trouble_a soul_n find_v any_o other_o sanctuary_n he_o alone_o be_v the_o horn_n of_o our_o salvation_n the_o cornueopia_n of_o a_o perfect_a plenty_n and_o felicity_n unto_o we_o in_o this_o and_o the_o eternal_a life_n i_o have_v be_v master_n of_o a_o dog_n who_o when_o i_o have_v threaten_v in_o stead_n of_o fly_v he_o have_v appease_v i_o by_o a_o submiss_a fawn_a upon_o i_o thou_o my_o god_n be_v in_o like_a manner_n merciful_a to_o such_o as_o seek_v thou_o and_o humble_v themselves_o unto_o thou_o praise_v to_o thy_o bless_a name_n for_o evermore_o amen_o amen_n january_n 21._o 1637._o our_o faith_n be_v well_o allude_v to_o a_o rock_n and_o our_o saviour_n to_o the_o cornerstone_n of_o a_o building_n for_o without_o they_o we_o be_v all_o totter_a and_o infirm_a nor_o do_v the_o sweetness_n of_o any_o earthly_a pleasure_n make_v amends_o for_o a_o unstable_a wander_a mind_n good_a god_n why_o do_v thou_o not_o to_o frailty_n give_v one_o life_n to_o learn_v another_o life_n to_o live_v why_o so_o it_o be_v who_o here_o do_v thou_o regard_n eternal_a life_n and_o joy_n be_v his_o reward_n suave_fw-la mari_fw-fr magno_fw-la turbantibus_fw-la aequora_fw-la ventis_fw-la eterra_fw-la alterius_fw-la magnum_fw-la spectare_fw-la laborem_fw-la unexpressible_a be_v that_o tranquillity_n ease_n joy_n and_o peace_n which_o i_o find_v by_o have_v free_v myself_o from_o this_o world_n common_a interest_n and_o encumbrance_n my_o soul_n be_v like_o a_o bird_n escape_v from_o the_o fowler_n net_n and_o i_o be_o as_o a_o free_a spectator_n behold_v the_o busy_a burden_a actor_n of_o this_o world_n tragedy_n comedy_n farcies_o and_o folly_n good_a lord_n confirm_v i_o more_o and_o more_o and_o make_v i_o thankful_a in_o such_o my_o joy_n once_o belong_v to_o the_o alphabet_n sonnet_n of_o the_o letter_n e._n but_o we_o like_o false-bred_n eagle_n fly_v the_o sight_n of_o thy_o to_o humane_a sense_n confound_v light_n bartas_n and_o herbert_n lead_v but_o fly_v so_o high_a our_o flowery_a waxen_a wing_n dare_v not_o come_v nigh_o or_o it_o be_v hard_a to_o see_v they_o hard_o to_o come_v nigh_o verse_n i_o confess_v though_o such_o be_v best_a which_o most_o resemble_v prose_n yet_o as_o i_o be_o now_o affect_v especial_o in_o that_o measure_n which_o i_o have_v late_o choose_v be_v not_o so_o fit_v to_o my_o present_a subject_n there_o be_v divers_a kind_n and_o degree_n of_o faith_n the_o generality_n of_o such_o as_o call_v and_o think_v themselves_o christian_n go_v on_o in_o a_o course_n childish_a kind_n of_o faith_n which_o give_v little_a tincture_n to_o their_o affection_n and_o less_o to_o their_o action_n yet_o according_a to_o their_o nature_n in_o some_o thing_n they_o make_v more_o in_o other_o less_o conscience_n in_o a_o far_o proceed_n and_o consideration_n of_o religion_n they_o lay_v hold_v on_o christ_n and_o use_v he_o as_o a_o salve_n for_o their_o sin_n and_o sinful_a propension_n but_o when_o the_o good_a spirit_n of_o god_n by_o mean_n of_o affliction_n or_o otherwise_o thorough_o awaken_v they_o and_o work_n upon_o their_o soul_n then_o and_o not_o till_o then_o be_v we_o true_o convert_v then_o be_v our_o eye_n open_v to_o see_v and_o feel_v the_o ugliness_n of_o sin_n with_o the_o sweetness_n of_o his_o save_a grace_n and_o favour_n and_o thus_o oh_o lord_n have_v it_o please_v thou_o in_o thy_o infinite_a mercy_n to_o work_v upon_o i_o now_o i_o see_v and_o pity_v the_o world_n vanity_n and_o corruption_n now_o as_o thou_o have_v die_v for_o i_o i_o will_v rather_o die_v a_o thousand_o death_n then_o to_o grieve_v thy_o good_a spirit_n by_o my_o least_o consent_n to_o sin_n as_o thou_o have_v do_v to_o i_o so_o vouchsafe_v to_o extend_v thy_o extraordinary_a hand_n of_o mercy_n upon_o other_o withhold_v they_o from_o sophisticate_a thy_o sincere_a religion_n with_o their_o poor_a and_o rot_a policy_n we_o may_v say_v of_o it_o as_o some_o use_v it_o as_o be_v say_v of_o tilt_n and_o tourney_n that_o it_o be_v too_o much_o for_o jest_n too_o little_a for_o earnest_n it_o can_v be_v expect_v that_o the_o people_n will_v follow_v 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the_o star_n seldom_o do_v they_o be_v our_o mischief_n and_o our_o plague_n and_o as_o the_o star_n have_v their_o shine_a and_o influence_n more_o for_o our_o than_o their_o own_o good_a so_o ought_v they_o to_o exercise_v their_o power_n it_o be_v a_o soul_n unhappy_a fancy_n that_o please_v itself_o in_o displease_v other_o i_o have_v of_o late_o be_v urge_v to_o work_v and_o be_o at_o this_o time_n work_v upon_o a_o piece_n of_o ground_n which_o have_v long_o be_v design_v for_o garden_v and_o so_o employ_v it_o have_v have_v much_o cost_n and_o industry_n bestow_v upon_o it_o but_o the_o nature_n of_o the_o soil_n consist_v of_o so_o stiff_a a_o clay_n that_o it_o have_v ever_o render_v a_o ill_a account_n and_o return_v of_o such_o feed_v and_o plant_n as_o have_v be_v entrust_v unto_o it_o lusty_a and_o fruitful_a it_o have_v show_v itself_o in_o grass_n and_o rank_n in_o weed_n there_o be_v a_o evil_a herb_n they_o call_v twitch_n which_o have_v overrun_v it_o of_o such_o 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jerusalem_n amen_n february_n 10._o 1637._o to_o give_v in_o some_o sort_n a_o taste_n and_o glimpse_n what_o kind_n of_o spirit_n possess_v i_o in_o my_o first_o youth_n and_o melancholy_n take_v these_o few_o fragment_n which_o with_o many_o other_o than_o i_o coin_a but_o have_v now_o lose_v and_o forget_v for_o inscription_n never_o employ_v fond_a passion_n be_v opinion_n but_o a_o fool_n god_n nature_n reason_n be_v the_o wiseman_n school_n delight_n good_a servant_n but_o bad_a master_n be_v mind_n cordial_a medicine_n use_v without_o fond_a passion_n fit_v age_n call_v mean_n degree_n and_o fashion_n useless_a but_o for_o our_o recreation_n dote_v on_o turn_v disease_n our_o soul_n snare_n you_o will_v say_v they_o be_v toy_n the_o fit_a be_v they_o then_o for_o such_o vain_a bubble_n fantome_n as_o be_v man_n they_o profit_v nought_o and_o wiseman_n you_o will_v say_v pleasure_n foundation_n on_o profit_n lie_v to_o they_o that_o want_v not_o to_o give_v nature_n right_a 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of_o text_n of_o scripture_n for_o the_o earth_n stability_n which_o as_o a_o thousand_o other_o they_o may_v as_o well_o and_o with_o far_o less_o strain_v interpret_v in_o a_o way_n of_o common_a caviar_n appear_v if_o now_o upon_o real_a demonstration_n and_o reason_n the_o earth_n be_v prove_v to_o move_v do_v they_o not_o wrong_v both_o the_o scripture_n and_o our_o religion_n miserable_a lameness_n miserable_a blindness_n of_o humane_a divinity_n help_v oh_o god_n or_o we_o be_v confound_v we_o be_v lose_v true_a knowledge_n thrift_n or_o joy_n be_v annex_v to_o no_o person_n place_n or_o condition_n but_o thy_o grace_n and_o blessing_n give_v they_o assist_v we_o all_o assist_v i_o therein_o and_o i_o have_v find_v more_o than_o ever_o i_o lose_v february_n 10._o 1637._o howsoever_o these_o write_n may_v in_o some_o respect_n be_v as_o unfit_a as_o troublesome_a in_o my_o condition_n yet_o herein_o they_o have_v prove_v my_o great_a advantage_n and_o satisfaction_n that_o they_o 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read_n and_o peruse_v of_o these_o my_o confuse_a crudity_n and_o you_o have_v in_o your_o indulgence_n to_o they_o and_o i_o and_o their_o innocent_a spirit_n of_o ingenuity_n commend_v some_o thing_n in_o they_o far_o beyond_o their_o worth_n and_o wish_v some_o more_o labour_n of_o i_o to_o be_v employ_v in_o their_o more_o orderly_a and_o perfect_a digestion_n and_o a_o far_a communication_n but_o i_o be_o over-weak_a and_o lazy_a and_o they_o too_o incorrigible_a they_o be_v mishapen_a lump_n of_o a_o imperfect_a conception_n which_o howsoever_o it_o may_v be_v fit_a for_o i_o to_o be_v deliver_v of_o yet_o be_v they_o most_o unfit_a for_o other_o than_o a_o friendly_a view_n and_o judgement_n i_o put_v they_o into_o your_o hand_n but_o be_o far_o from_o wish_v any_o your_o far_a patience_n or_o labour_n upon_o they_o they_o be_v such_o bear_n whelp_n that_o if_o they_o be_v capable_a of_o any_o good_a shape_n yet_o be_v it_o most_o unfit_a that_o any_o but_o their_o natural_a 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