first rising out of the Sea which Sea in its self when not troubled its very clam and smooth and to swim upon it there is no danger if we keep in the ship we are safe but when winds arise this calm Sea is troubled contrary winds makes the smooth Sea full of waves and billows and it becomes very tempestuous and the creature is put to some plunges and tossed up and down though in the ship yet many are put to great straits by reason of such mighty storms which sometimes Sâ—a-men meet withall yet valiant Sea-mens hearts do not sink without a leak be sprung in the ship then their hearts ake and the stâ—uâ—est spirits then begin to dye but as long as the ship is firm the coragious Marryner doth not fear there is no danger so long as they keep the Sea under them and out of them it will never drown them but prove a sweet refresher Oh what pleasure doth the Marryners take when they get the mastery over the storm and not it over them This Sea in which my spirit first received trouble and dark dissertion began to take hold of my rejoycing spirit it was an eager pressing after the way of worship to know the right way and to enjoy it I earnestly sought for but could not find now there arose contrary winds which did blow so strong that this smooth and pleasant Sea began to be so full of waves and storms grew so fast that my joy sunk there grew a thick skin over my sight of union and truly I minded not that which was my life so much as the enjoyment of a way of worship which night and day I lay poring upon I could not take my natural rest my thoughts dwelt so continually upon the study of Ordinances and the right administrations according to that practice in the time of the Apostles the which I could not find any come up unto fain I would have been in the practice of all the Ordinances that Christ left his Disciples to be helps meet to them and I believe they are a Sea on which Saints may swim safely till they arrive at their haven of eternal glory Saints voyage continues till their mortal shall put on immortality and till then the waters are for Saints to float upon Saints you are a float keep in your Ark and you are safe take heed of the blustring winds which is too much eagerness extrams will toss your spirits they may drown your comfort and joy of union though nothing can possibly drown your union Saints you have need to stand upon your watch Tower even at the time when you are seeking after spiritual things for we have within us such a corrupt spirit which proves such a treacherous enemy it betrayes us into the hands of Satan which is that roaring Lion that goeth about seeking whom he may devour and so joyneth with our enemy within us to fight against us Therefore unto all the Saints that practice as they think all the Ordinances that Christ left to his Disciples I shall speak this word to you have a care your fall not overhead and ears into this Sea If you keep upon it it may be very sweet to you but if it once flow over your spirits you sink my meaning is this if any thing below Christ yea though it be an institution of Christ if thou exalts it higher then thou shouldst thou dishonourest Christ and indangers thy spirituall welfare truly Saints are very apt to misplace things every thing may be usefully kept in their right sphear but when that which should be beneath gets uppermost then comes in confusion and darkness for it we rejoyce more in the Administration then in the Administrator dark misty clouds will arise upon our spirits and if a second vail cover our sight it is worse for us then when the Law was a vail Obscurity after the shining of Gospel light is terriblyer to bear then that darkness before a freedom for when once the soul hath a freedom from legall bondage by the spirit that it can cry Abba father and have Communion in the sight of union with God as their father and now though union may be in sight yet it is afar off and for want to Communion the poor soul cannot take the felicity in its union as it should And truly if we have too high esteem of things we shall enthrall our selves Therefore dear friends let God be your all and not Ordinances let God be your all and not any practice though a practice prescribed by the spirit it s a dangerous thing to have our thoughts too much upon or after things we are so apt to make that our all our hearts are so ready to delude us when our eye is a little off Christ therefore let us still desire a fixed eye upon God in Christ for this is the safest Road there is no damage to that soul that continually keeps his feasts with Christ for Christ is at all the cost Oh that Saints were more in spiritual practice the Lord knoweth I would not undervalue or have a slight thought of of any Administration or of any Saint for surely I prize them but the sum of all my speaking is to give God his due and by him we shall be thought to give every thing its due and in so doing how sweet will our harmony be and though we be at a loss in respect of externaâ—â— yet that sweet internal converse will delight our spirits if that be not smothered by sin and Satan which aims to give that a greater blow then any thing else and this blow my spirits felt it was not externals that caused my dissertion for they are good in themselves I would not be thought to make them the cause or put fault in them the fault was in my self concerning Ordinances I still went on trying and examining the way which sundry Congregations walked in and I walked a moneth or there abouts with one Congregation and a time with another and so with divers people I tryed their way but I could not be satisfied in my seeking because I found not neither was I taken off from that restless frame I was in till a constant over powring word came which was this I say to thee wait it is the mind of thy God that thou shouldst wait then my spirit was quiet and I clearly understood that it was the mind of God not to discover a way of worship to me in that I could not behold the practice of any people under any form to be like the pattern in mount Sion I could not apprehend their practice to be like that of old time which the Scripture makes mention of which was a practice full of the spirit and the gifts of the spirit they had not onely a letter but the spirit bear witness to their practice they were full of the spirit of love and unity not judging and ready to censure those that were not under the dispensation as they were
I will raise thee up and thou shalt live in my sight and with a full perswasion that I should recover but I said Lord this Scripture holds out my resurrection or the restoring of the Jews I was answered it was to manifest my recovery but this departed from me and the glory of God shined exceeding bright and through the sweet odour of the savour of the spirit which Scripture compares to ointment which mightily drew out my love to my Saviour and to the Saints debasing and loathing my self and my love was drawn out to the greatest persecutors of our times I could have lain under their feet to have done them good and many Scriptures were presented and a three-fold interpretation given on them Scriptures never appeared so sweet to me as they did then and as many as the spirit brings to my remembrance I shall relate Further on the Lords day after so indeed it was to me a Lords day in the fore-noon as I lay in the strength of the fever burning very much within but without like a clod and my stomack being shut up not able to take the creatures nor to hear them spoken of my stomack was so weak that all that fortnight I lay and took nothing but small beer a little juice of cherries or conserve of currants I took a little sometimes for cooling of me I did so burn in my throat and stomack I remained thus like a dead carcase in respect of bodily strength but filled with the spirit and as I lay on the said Lords day this Scripture came in with a very great strength in the middest of Divine contemplation it was spoken this second time after two daies I will revive thee then I was drawn forth to ask of God his mind to his hand-maid from that Scripture and my request was thus answered one day with me saith the Lord is as a thousand and a thousand as one day but then I said Lord reveal the meaning of two daies and it was presently given in the two daâ—es are two weeks after two weeks I will recover thee a perswasion came in with great confidence in believing that at that season God unloosed the bands of my spirit he would unloose the weakness of my body though contrary to reason it was even that night two weeks that my soul was set at liberty that my body should be healed and God spake thus to me did I not tell thee I would work a wonder in Israel and did I not say unto thee if thou wouldst believe thou shalt see the glory of thy God these Scripture languages were spoken to me in the spirit encouraging me to believe though the body should grow weaker as it did afterward and after the second appearing of God I desired rather to be out of the body then in it and when I breathed forth to God how I should live in the body it was answered me to the glory of thy God is not my grace sufficient for thee and art thou afraid to live in the body for fear of the strength of corruptions Sin shall not have dominion over thee for thou art not under the Law but under Grace and through the strength of thy Saviour thou shalt be able to conquer all thy enemies and get the victory over the greatest Giant-corruption and temptation therefore be not faithless but believing it is for my glory thy recovery then I said Lord do with me what thou wilt if thou beest glorified in it whatsoever thy servant suffers it matters not when the Lord told me of that glory he would have in my recovery my spirit was satisfied in urging it to God any more to take me out of the body Now I looked for a further unfolding of God in this thing now I knew it should be further sealed to me but I knew not the time when God would seal it to me so that when my friends desired me to settle things concerning outward affairs nothing but death being expected and feared by them and to my own sence and feeling and yet believed otherwise and I desired my friends to wait a while for I told them I believed a recovery and â— told them upon what grounds but I bid them be silent for if God had a purpose to take me hence he would reveal it to me but I told them surely I should be raised here by a mighty power for I knew it must be a great power to raise up one so dead in the body that could not rise out of my bed all that fortnight but as five lifted me out one night and I was so extream earthy even as lead that they had much ado to lift me into bed again and I slept not but talked night and day the pourings forth of the spirit was such when I did slumber and that was but little but then I felt my pain and weakness very much now the greatest extremity did not affright me though sometimes my bones hath been shaken in my flesh my joints unloosed and sometimes great pains as if my bones had been pulled asunder such torture hath seized upon me and sick fits that the parties which watched by me hath bowed me double to keep breath in me when I have been cold and my breath cold within me and to sence a breathing out my last breath so that my friend that watched with me desired to call other friends but I intreated her to wait much ado I had to speak yet at that instant God told me my breath should be given me and the vitals of my spirits restored that were sinking the Lord gave me faith to believe and I found at that time the power of the most high And the next day about the same hour I had an extream fit of shaking to the amazement of those that stood by and I desired a friend to raise me up in the bed and as she held me she askt me why I shook so I told her the earthly Tabernacle must be shaken and God would lay it lower before he restored it that so his power may be made manifest which he spake of at the beginning of my weakness and this extremity came on me after the second perswasion given me by my God from that Scripture spoken of which came to me on the first day of the week On the third day of the week the Lord sent me Mr. Greenhil Minister of Gods word who assoon as I beheld I could not but say behold the man of God such joy was in my spirits which I could not but utter forth when I saw the Saints I was mightily filled with rejoycing and after I had declared those Revelations given into my spirit to this Minister of God and other Saints that were then by and the Spirit came with such a mighty gale upon me that though I desired to be slow to speak and swift to hear yet then I could not when they desired me to tel them of the distemper of my body when I
A LEGACY FOR SAINTS BEING SEVERAL EXPERIENCES of the dealings of God with Anna Trapnel In and after her Conversion written some years since with her own hand and now coming to the sight of some friends they have judged them worthy of publike view Together with some Letters of a latter date sent to the Congregation with whom she walks in the fellowship of the Gosspel and to some other FRIENDS London Printed for T. Brewster at the three Bibles in Pauls Church-yard near London-House 1654. To all that fear the Lord under what form soever who have fellowship with the Father and his Son Jesus Christ The Church of God usually meeting in Great Al-Hallows London whereof Mr. John Simpson is Teacher sendeth greeting SOme Experiences of Anna Trapnell our deaâ— Sister now Prisoner in Bridewel coming to our hands we have perused and considered And although the various and wonderful dealings of God with her soul known to many of us for divers years last past are not herein mentioned as she intended but was prevented by her present troubles nevertheless by our own hearts we judge this small Legacy will be of much price and use to the Lords people And seeing the malice of Satan and hard measure from men have endeavoured to bury her both name profession and if possible spirit in her whilest she yet lives and â—e think leans on her Lords bosom Therefore is this Legacy now administred which otherwise had waited the death of the Testatrâ—x as she fully purposed All we conceive necessary to be said by us concerning the Legacy it self is onely to give our Testimony so far as we have knowledge as our duty to God and to his hand-maid obligeth us to the reality of the Experiences therein mentioned whereof divers of us have been eye and ear witnesses and were with our Sister at several seasons when she was under those particular dealings of God We purposely forbear to enlarge our commendations because we apprehend this kinde of Subject is always best commended by that presence and efficacy of God which he pleaseth to afford and also because we would not in the least degree infringe your liberty to tast and try what spirit and excellency is in it and so to judge freely yet with seriousness as having to do with God therein what entertainment and esteem it deserves we are also engaged by our duty to give you some account of the person by whom this Lagacy is bequeathed who is indeed under much reproach and misrepresentation among all sorts of people and we apprehend we might without offence say made a spectacle to the whole Land being rendred a Contemner of Scriptures of Ordinances and of late as one of a vile Conversation For her present imprisonment at Bridewel if it were not so intended cannot but suggest extream scandal and viciousness touching her to all that hear thereof though we that know her and the cause for which she is laid there are not ashamed of her or it and hope we never shall be which is all we shall now say to that Onely give us leave briefly to impart for your satisfaction what we have known of her for we have had communion with her in the light love spirit and ordinances of the Gospel divers years and to this day also so far as we can obtain it for the restraint she is now under and are able to say in opposition to what she is aspersed with That 1. She hath the Scriptures in very great regard as that holy word which hath flowed from God by men who had extraordinary inspiration and ability to give it forth according to what hath been apprehended among the most sober and spiritual Saints from time to time concerning the same with the excellency whereof she professeth her self much ravished making it her business to study and to live in the power and spirit of them whose profession and principles having suffered many assaults and temptations herein she remains exceedingly confirmed in her perswasions of and love to the truth holiness authority and precious usefulness of the Scriptures 2. She is for the spiritual exercise of all the ordinances of God to the uttermost degree of light she enjoys against Ranters profane Notionists and all sorts of men of scornful opinions to the contrary for which we have not onely her word but her practice with us which doth best express any ones principle And touching the Ministry because in relation thereunto also a very hard sentence is past upon her there is this to be offered in vindication of her that her principle is plain and firm for it and that she doth much love and reverence own all Ministers that enter in by the door and have the true unction her dissatisfaction is onely to that standing and institution which hath been by Bishops it being derived from Rome or such as are evidently after that pattern and that also without the least prejudice to the grace of God in any 3. Her conversation for any thing that ever came to our knowledge we must testifie hath been very beautiful and unblameable exceeding unworthy of those black mouths which have been opened against it and of those injurious hands she hath fallen into We might say much of her tender conscience her sweet meek sober exemplary temper and impartial love to all Saints and also her freedom and desire to have communion with them upon that old large and universal principle of Saintship and union with Christ wherein we know her to be very excellent as some letters of her own which we have thought our duty to make publike will more effectually declare then we are able This short Testimony we have thought fit to send abroad with this Legacy and Letters of our dear Sister for the exoneration of our duty to God to her and to your souls which we would not have indisposed by any hard thoughts that reports may beget concerning the person whose it is to reâ—p the fruit and refreshment which our god blessing may redound thereby Dated the 9. of the 5. moneth 1654. Signed in the name and by appointment of the congregation in the absence of our Teacher by Iohn Proud Elder Caleb Ingold Decon Reader thou art desired before thou readest this small Legacy to take notice of these few faults and mend them which by reason of the difficulty of the Copy being old written and torn have escaped the Press AS in page 15. line 6. for Aninomian read Antinomian p. 24. l. 19. r. the soul is made p. 30. l. 1. for from r. for p. 31. l. 31. for men r. me p. 33. l. 27. for 3 Joh. r. 1. p. 35. l. 8. for words r. worlds p. 38. l. 31. for the 40. of Isa r. 29. p. 41. l. 2. for Ioh 1. 14. r. 14. and 1â— A LEGACY FOR SAINTS SOme experiences of the workings of God in legall convictions and in the time of childhood First When a child then the Lord awed my Spirit and for the
of Idols and yet never bow down to a picture But oh when the Lord took away my gods how I lamented and the more spirituall my company was in their discourse the more stony hearted I was I could freely speak to those that lived under an old administration my spirit being under the same a legall discourse suited best with me when I have been among those that have been filled with joy being Proffessors of Divine love and much acquainted with free grace in the power of it which I was very ignorant of so that their company was burdensom to me yet I could not keep from them sometimes I have gone from them full of horror and my heart ready to burst and my countenance hath startled them that have come to visit me they have said I looked so gastly that they were affrighted to see me asking me what I ailed which I could hardly tell them I was so filled the with terrors of the Law I have come from hearing the word preached even distracted so that my mother would say to me if thou dost fast so day after day and run thus up and down the devill will take advantage against thee but I could not indure to be spoken to my spirit was so peevish and fâ—oward and I apprehended I was never the better for my hearing so much and praying and fasting yet I could not forbear And many that were inlightned in the doctrine of free grace took a great deal of pains with me perswading me to hear those Ministers that taught most upon the doctrine of free grace but I could not relish that doctrine it was such a cold lean poor discovery I thought I being under the flashes of hell I delighted in the thunderings of the Law and they pleased me best that preached most upon the Law and that prest legall qualifications which I strove to come up to and thought I should never have Christ without I was so qualified as I was taught unto which I could not attain for all my strugling and striving after it which made me conclude that I was not elected if I were I should be made conformable to his Image who is holy which I was not and therefore I was none of Christs flock which condition was very dreadful to me to be without Christ and I could not receive a word of satisfaction from any though some would say to me dost thou not love Christ I would say but how shall I know whether my love be true love I may think I love Christ and deceive my self I not being able to judge of may love whether it were right or no and therefore I was so puzled because I looked for that in the first place which should come in as a second evidence which caused my spirit continually to be in a hurry I delighted to hear much of Christ preached to righteteou ones but I cared not to hear Christ preached to sinners for I looked first for holiness and then for Christ But the great and glorious God at length throughly convinced me of his justifying ungodly ones and that he sent Christ not to call the Righteous but Sinners and he came to save the chiefest of sinners and now I began to hearken to free grace and I saw nothing else could revive me and I found my spirits a little stayed in listening to the free tenders of Christ and then I was put upon arguing with God intreating him to give me Christ which he had given as the onely object for poor sinners to flie unto being stung with sin he was the brazen Serpent that the father set up for to heal and take away that sting of sin and now though I could not come unto God as a righteous one I could come as a sinner and beg of God to receive me being such an object that he sent forth his love to commending it to sinners and to rebels and I desired oh that I might be one of those rebels that might have a pardon were it upon never so hard terms and truly I sound God trying me to purpose it was a very hard thing to me to be ranked amongst the vildest miscreants in the world and to behold my self as bad as the greatest adulterer or blasphemer in the world which I looked upon to be a great deal vilder then I and further from Gods accepting but this conceit free grace laid in the dust and Divine light shewed me the spawn and seed of all sin within my corrupt nature which made me to lie in the dust and to cry out Lord let free grace own me else I am undone when the Law of the Spirit came then sin revived and I died it shewed me every secret sin that I saw not before so that all my sins were set in order before me and I beheld them innumerable Oh what a deplored condition was I iâ— forlorn and without hope nothing now could comfort me but the true Comforter and nothing could speak peace to my soul but Christ I saw I was undone without the Son looked upon me and my spirit grew very restless and my thirst was very great oh how I long after the water of life I often told God I câ—uld not subsist without it a generall promise would not serve my turn though it a little quiteted me when I was in great agonies yet I could not be satisfied without a knowledge of God as my father I thought to hear of an inheritance and not to have an interest in it it did but aggravate my sorrow I must have a particular promise the Spirit also to bear witness to my spirit and sealing me up to the day of Redemption I must have an assurance upon good grounds my heart could not now cheat me with a counterfeit assurance it had so often deceived me and made me take comfort from false grounds and still carried me about but never brought me to my journeys end I entered not into my true rest till the Lord brought me to cease from my own works and to take a Christ upon his own terms Oh what a knotty piece was I for the great Jehovah to work upon untill he put forth his mighty power I could not believe though many that cryed down free grace as a doctrine of liberty to sin I found no doctrine so striking at my sins as it and though some would tell me I had found out an easie way to heaven now to go to heaven in believing but I found it a hard way yea impossible for I could not believe till the day of Gods power I found it as easie to keep the whole Law as to believe I saw it alone the work of the most high and in his own time his arm brought salvation to the heart of a poor miserable lost creature had it not been for free grace which I must continually acknowledge and ascribe praise to him who is worthy of honour for evermore I could speak much concerning the time of my sorrow of my
with the flame of Divine love there appeared now no smoak but a clear flame nothing now before me but christal appearances oh how my soul was enamoured with Christ Earth was now gone and heaven come the unclean spirit dispossessed the pure spirit now possest taking my soul from the dunghill and setting it upon the throne my naturall food I tasted not till now it was bitter to my taste but oh now every bit of bread I eat how sweet was it to my taste Christ sweetned every creature to me oh how sweet was the feasts of love that my soul was made partaker of in very creature oh what a rebound doth Divine love make in the soul I could not keep love in it would flame forth into a declaration I must now tell Saints what I had now received from the spirits testimony and that they might praise with me having mourned with me I told them I had now seen him whom my poor spirit doubted I should never have beheld I called to others to come and taste how sweet and loving Christ is to sinners now Sermons appeared living to me where Christ was preached most to sinners I delighted most in such a Ministry and still went away with melody in my heart for a whole year after I was sealed up to the day of Redemption I had exceeding raptures of joy very frequent little or no intermissions no questions or doubtings in the least measure but my seat was still for constancy a seat of joy and spirituall mirth though sometimes the golden trumpet sounded higher and sometimes lower yet it still was sounding and caused an eccho to follow it A sore combat after the Spirits testimony THe time of that glorious sealing me was after that testimony in which my spirit was set at liberty that day before mentioned being the first day of the week and year 1642. upon the third day of that week and year my occasions called me to Stepny where I lodged at my Uncles all night and my Aunt coming up into the Chamber to me she said to me Cosen the Lord hath taken your mother from you now labour to be married to Christ you have nothing to take up your time but to labour for Christ I answered I hope I am married to Christ but as soon as my Aunt was gone down stairs from me the Lord spoke to me and said I have made thee as sure of salvation as I am God in heaven why didst thou say thou hopest and didst not rather tell that thy God had assured thee that Christ was thine thou having such a clear testimony of the spirit witnessing with thy spirit in such a bright light of glory that thou couldst not but assent to it thou shouldst now have declared it Satan presently was let loose upon me as soon as the Lord had spoken these words which I am sure was from the Lord they came in such Majesty that caused all my joints to tremble and sore perplexed I was Satan buffetted and my own heart strongly set upon me perswading me that I had fallen from grace and I had denied the Spirits work in me and now I was nearer to perishing then ever very hideous thoughts I was filled with and nothing but blackness before me now I had sinned against the spirit and this was more dreadfull to me then all the time of my bondage for I thought now the unclean spirit would have torn me a pieces I was so terrified I could not go to bed till midnight but walked about the chamber hearing nothing nothing but damnation and hell set before me I thought my torment to be as great as any of the damned wherein it was a terrible hell to me for the time which time the indeared love of the Father suffered not to be long it was not above three hours my heavenly Father knew had that extremity of spirit lasted long it would have consumed my vitall spirits but as love moved my Father to speak kindly to my distressed spirit in taking away this unexpressible torment he gave me unexpressible glory and refreshing And when I gave up all that I had received for lost at the very nick of time and this night that was so dreadful to me before the morning light my spirit was full of light and a greater shining light then I saw before I now beheld And the spirit speaking that word in great power Christ is thine and thou art his and the gates of hell shall never prevail against thee all the power and policy of the devil shall not hurt thee so as to deprive thee of thy Saviour I had the representation of a seal set upon the wax the spirit as fire made my stony spirits pliable for it to leave its mark or impression and stamp was set on my spirit now I felt saw and heard that I never did before oh that Aâ—ras of glory that now was my clothing now was I made like my Saviour a crown given me not made with pearls or rich diamonds but far richer not to be valued earth cannot wear this crown it s onely the heaven of God that must injoy this prerogative it s those that are made Kings and Priests unto God that are thus honoured oh how transcendently glorious is the true sealing of the Spirit sure no tongue is able to speak it out the pen of the readiest writer cannot write this it may give some hints of this seal but for depth length and breadth who can give a full description or relation of it it is a thing impossible to be published Oh then you sealed ones come admire with me who can tell forth Sions glory Could not Paul tell what he saw in the third heavens How then shall we declare our heavens glory when we know not whether we are in the body or out Our joy is such when the spirit takes us up we know not where we are for that present though afterward it may be we are found in the Isle of Pathmos our bodies may be found amongst the Babylonians yea and our spirits too our communion taken away but not our union no doubting or questioning concerning that though there may be much dissertion and darkness as I shall tell you God willing he giving me life to accomplish my desire which is to leave the Saints a Legacy of experiences that they may read not my works but the spirits works and so admire him who is most worthy when I am gone hence and shall be no more seen And if I vary concerning some experiences in this in respect of doubting and questioning union after sealing it is my own experience I must not record anothers experience it may be some may scruple at it and therefore I thought fit to mention it After my Spirit received the seal of the Spirit I had abundance of raptures of joy some when I have gon along the street my raptures hath been such that I minded not the ground I went upon but divers times have been
I was not one by adherency though by imputation Antinomianism was not inherent in me or adhered to by me this name in plain terms is liberty to sin as the Divel nick names Saints so he nick names the doctrine of grace too and sin which is like himself he puts upon is a nick-name garment greater is he that is within Saints then he that is in the world Saints garment is Jesus Christ and nothing can rear or rent or defile this garment Saints clothing is the purest white no dirt throwed upon it can soil it oh Saints rejoyce with me shall we be found worthy to enter in at the straight gate and plucked into the house by the hand of the Angell of the new Covenant when they without shall be stricken with blindness and so not able to find he door Why must a Zoar be preserved for us and a Sodom set on fire Why must some be vessels of dishonour and some of honour some that are high-wayes and lyers about in the hedges fetched in to sup with Christ and the grave ones of the world must not so much as have a taste of Christs dainties Fâ—ee grace and nothing but free grace makes us to differ from others oh let the redeemed of the Lord say so let not Sion boast of her own righteousness which she hath done but let her look by whom she hath her dignity who strikes off all self-boasting the more free grace is apprehended the more self-righteousness is reprehended the creature can never learn the lesson of humiliation and self-denial till it hath been in the School of free grace that is the free School where the best learning is to be had the poor and fatherless here find mercy and here the Governor of this Free-school receiveth every poor Orphane he refuseth none that comes though they have not one friend to make suit for them nay such are soon entertained that trust wholly to this great Governors mercy they have the best learning here is no respect of persons but the poor begger that lyeth in the street that knows not where to have a bit of bread lath nothing but a clothing of tatters to outward view a very miserable creature such a one more respected then a rich Dives that goeth in his velvet and diadems of gold very day oh what manner of love is this that makes no difference between fools and learned ones preferring ideots before the wisdom of the world making the ignorant and erring Spirit to have the greatest understanding Surely such must needs magnifie free grace oh how low is that creature in its own eyes that lives in the spirit and fetcheth nothing from its own free will or from any work of his own but all from Christ he sticks no flower in his bosom but that which none can snatch from him his walks of delight is in no garden but where he may see his beloved walk before him the Saint that is throughly spiritual loves dearly to walk inclosed in the arms of its Saviour and to be imbraced by him and kissed with the kisses of his mouth for his love is better then wine the spirits of wine hath a great efficacy in quickning those that faint and sound away but of a stronger efficacy is divine love it makes dead souls live yea though they are as a tree twice dead and plucked up by the roots dead once and plucked up and set again and again and pruned and dunged and it becomes withered dead though sin hath killed the soul so as to make it wither no convictions no legall promises those are such promises that are made with conditions no such striving can fetch life into one dead in sin and trespasses all strugling and striving in this case is but like the pains which the gardner takes with dead plants that passeth his skill to recover but what the skill of the Gardner cannot reach Divine love can the dead withered soul though to its own view and to others view it appear irrecoverable Divine love lifts this dead soul though it hath lain in the grave of sin that in the thoughts of others it s quite putrified as they thought of Lazarus body Let not dead souls be discouraged for there is life enough for them when not appehended by them once my note was nothing but sorrowful complaining of a dead seared stony hard heart a Spirit I though nothing could have stuck upon it or have soaked into such a heart so hard as it was often my expression my heart nothing can possible enter it for it is as hard surely as the neather mil-stone I could not tell what to liken it to I thought it harder then any thing yet though it was very hard melting love wrought upon it Now I wrought from life and not for it the spirit makes every duty a pleasure whereas I sorely tugged to get up my heart in a duty when I looked upon it as a task which I must do and provide straw too it was a burden I greatly groaned under when I was put upon duties by a command and I had no frame of spirit suitable nor no words I had nothing to fulfill my task and yet I was prest to do it or else the threatning reached me and terrified but when my Mediator came he overcame all my enemies that kept me under and shewed them to me dead and drowned in that red Sea his blood which victory was a long time accomplished before I saw it but when Christ made known to me my freedom bringing me out of Egypt then I offered sacrifices without interruption now I had that brought to hand which wrought all in me and for me when duty is accompanied with priviledge there is then a delight in duties I was mightily taken with priviledge and it was meat and drink to me to be much in hearing praying and meditating and conversing and I could do little else for a year I now met with God in duties I made them not my Comforters but Christ in them and as they were priviledges given me by him so I enjoyed them giving Christ the preheminence which was due to him I having all from the father not of debt but by gift those that say they enjoy all from him they give all to him and rejoice in him as their onely Portion My Dear bosom friends with whom I have fellowship in the spirit from that ingagement of love that is upon me I am strongly moved to declare to you the sundry dealings of God with me the time of bondage and freedom from that bondage hath been declared though but in short Now after this hot Sun shine there arose a black cloud which appeared small at the first rising but it still spread bigger and bigger till it filled the heavens with blackness the heaven in which God had set up his throne in which the King of glory took delight which is the Saints this heaven was covered with clouds and this dark cloud had its
they loved Saints as Saints and oh that Saints were in such a frame as to eye Saintship more and to love one another because of that heavenly relation they are in having one Father and one Saviour I onely briefly mention some things concerning the time of my spirits first step into dissertion and I cannot but warn Christs babes nay though they be young men that is such as are grown from their time of infancy to riper years yet those that are more strong in the faith that have got higher then an Infant in spirituality even these may be cautioned to take heed that they look not more upon externals then upon internals Saints fetch all your comforts from your Saviours bosom still eye that which is from everlasting to everlasting it s a very secure centering in Jesus we are still in hazzard of losing our spirits when they take a rambling from Mountains to Hills sometimes they fall into a deep valley ere they are aware and when they are down many again find it a long time ere they can get up HItherto you have had an account of the Proceedings of God with her from the beginning of his Works in her in various dispensations of Free-Grace through Light and Darkness Liberty and Bondage wherein the deep and more discerning Generation of Christians may discover the beginnings and growing up of the child Jesus in her unto greater measures of Wisdom and Power then are common to most Saints and withall some hints from God of the pleasure of his will to magnifie the Wonders and Powers of his Spirit by her in some notable and transcending way where God begins to break down the Walls of flesh in a Creature in such a rending way upon those ruines he raiseth up a foundation of Heaven and of Glory to be admired In the deeps do men behold the wonders of the Lord and be lays the foundation of his Chambers in the depths Here followeth a Relation how the Glory of God appeared in her in a time of sore sickness when to all appearance she was nigh unto death shewing the precious and Powerfull faith that wrought in her and the mighty witness of God to the truth of her faith in a Glorious Effect of his Power demonstrated upon her in a visible way whereby god would seem as by a visible Sign to manifest that the Invisible God dwells in her and would put to silence the Ignorance Pride and Rage of flesh against the Presence and Power of God in her And whereby she seems to be set forth of God as an Example to all them that believe of a Faith and Power with God that is to be attained beyond what most have yet received the enjoyment of The Mysterie of Faith with Power in the heights and depths of it being yet very little understood and less enjoyed by the Lords dearest Children For whose sake this is come forth at length after some years Concealment and the rather in such a day as this wherein the Saints are called to put on again the Faith once delivered whereby they overcame all things both within and without and all things became subject unto them The account hereof follows as it was delivered to us in her own Words and Writings IT being the desire of all the Saints and of all that wish well to Sion to hear of the experiences each of other that they have in the pourings out of the Spirit which God hath said he will pour out in the latter days upon all flesh his Sons and his Daughters shall Prophesie many promises we have in the like nature And faith Christ those that believe as the Scripture hath said out of their belly shall flow Rivers of living Waters this spake he of the Spirit which should be given after his Ascention to the Father therefore the Saints are to expect it and the more the Spirit appears the greater will be the rage of Antichrist but the greater their Tribulations are the nearer will be their time of deliverance and Christ encourages Saints to list up their heads for their Redemption draweth nigh And Christ tells believers it is not only given them to believe but to suffer and the Apostle bids us not think it strange concerning fiery Tryals for such things we must meet withall before we enter into Glory even that glory promised the Saints in this life Now Saints the dropings and glimmerings of the Spirit begin to appear the day begins to dawn the day-star shall appear in its brightness so that it shall be said to the Saints arise and shine for your light is come and the glory of the Lord is risen upon you then shall the Saints be of one mind and one heart and shall not need to teach one another Saying know the Lord for they shall all be taught of God from the least to the greatest and then shall light break forth as at noon day Surely then believers shall be more frequent in calling to each other to tell what God hath done for their souls as I the most unworthy servant of the Lord Jesus am engaged to declare what God hath lately done for me putting forth his Power both for the removing of the distemper from soul and body which now I shall relate to the praise and glory of Free-Grace And I doubt not but that it will be to the joy of all the Saints for unto them I call to magnifie the Lord with me and that we may exalt his name together for it should be the delight of Saints to set up God and not self because what they are or have is all by Grace so that the Psalmist saith Not unto us but unto thy name be the praise this O friends this makes me to abhor my self in dust and ashes because I have seen the Lord more then in an ordinary manner So that I cannot but speak the things which I have seen and heard from the holy Spirit and this may be sufficient to draw out your attentions and serious considerations to that experience I am about to speak through the strength of the Spirit which bears witness to what I speak to be truth which Spirit shall lead into all truth Saints let me tell you or the Spirit making use of me to tell you that though a Cloud and Darkness may for a time cover your Spirits after you are Called and Justified and Sanctified by the holy Spirit in believing for the Tryal of your faith which is much more precious then Gold or Silver for certainly when God seems to be at a distance from the soul in respect of Communion so that God seems to be afar off and yet the soul made one Spirit with the Lord Jesus And this was my condition that though I could own God as my Father and had the Spirit of Adoption whereby I could cry Abba Father and faith given to believe the pardon of all my sins past present and to come even then my Spirits were ready to crack in
the apprehension of my self the greatest of sinners though brought up in the most strictest ways of God according to that light even from my Cradle never given to any licentious ways as I could say much to this purpose when I came to look on God as a consuming fire But I shall forbear to set forth the dealings of God with me before and after Conversion and in Conversion which my Conversion was four years ago wanting about a Quarter of a year and for a year I may say I lived in the Regions of Heaven being always rejoycing and praysing God but since that many Clouds of Darkness hath passed over my Spirits But to speak of the late dealings of God with me about half a year before my sickness my Spirits groaned after the pourings forth of the Spirit that so there might be a greater perfection break forth in my words thoughts and actions The Word perfect did much seize upon my spirits but the more I sought for it the further off it went to my apprehension God was at a distance from me yet in the greatest darkness I had the light of Union but my soul breathed after Communion with my God that though when I was among the Saints Enlargements were given in Yet when I was separated from them and thinking to have Communion with God alone my mouth hath been stopped and my spirits in a Prison not able to speak to God because God spake not to me For the Creature cannot speak till God speaks but I still thirsted and my soul panted as the Hart after the water brooks And the nearer the time of light grew the thicker I apprehended the Cloud But praised be my Father that hath wrought a deliverance in me for me a stregthening of the Inward man in decaying of the Outward I cannot but say a sickness but it was no more then a bodily weakness and though a great weakness and extream pain took hold of my body all pain and distemper was removed from my spirits in a moment The beginning of my distemper of body was about the seventeenth of June 1646. And from that time it waxed more and more upon me but I strove against it as long as I could and went abroad till the latter end of the forenamed moneth about the twenty eighth day I took my Chamber the feverish distemper growing still stronger and the beginning of July which is so called on the first day of that moneth which was the fourth day of the week in the morning I had thoughts to go forth thinking the Feaver had been wearing away but on a suddain that morning a great extremity of pain seized on my body that as soon as I was out of my bed I was fain to lye down again and it was in much pains and great heaviness of spirit and a rending of heart so that I watered my Couch with my tears and I lay very heavy in spirit all that day and much pained in body and by that time night came my strength of body was quite taken from me so that I could not help my self but friends were fain to help me into bed and assoon as I was laid I felt the knot unknit and the heaviness of my spirits removed and darkness expelled and Sathan fled and corruptions mortified and all distempers of spirit disbanded that now instead of a Chaos of Confusion a Fabrick of Glory was set before me And my spirit was so drawn forth in a view of God so much glory was presented before me such Visions of the Eternal God that tongue is not able to express the Raptures were so great that I was not sensible of a body whether in the body or out of the body God knows But these discoveries were as coals of fire within me which could not be kept in and these pourings forth of love had in them such a heat that it melted my frozen spirits which caused my eyes to drop tears that though in the morning my spirits were rended at evening the Son of Righteousness arose with healing in his wings and uttering his Voice telling me he was my beloved that would not leave me and thus renewing of my former Evidences I had from Scripture when the power of God enabled me to believe for my free Justification in the Lord Jesus and also giving in immediately from himself in Scripture Language as thus I am thy father that hath pardoned thy iniquity for my own names sake and I will never remember thy sins against thee any more for I thy God change not but rest in my love and rejoyce over thee with joy and singing as it is written And thus the Lord told me that though I had been as an untamed Heifer like Ephraim in my thoughts and words yet his bowels of love were not straitned towards me but he looked on me as one of his beloved ones in the Lord Jesus This speech from God came with a mighty lustre beyond what I am able to express and that Scripture mixed with it Hos 14 I have healed thy back-slidings and loved thee freely and I lay not this weakness on thy body to upbraid thee because thou hast lived so long in the flesh and walked so little in the spirit but this weakness on thy body is that the power of thy God may be made manifest And I saith the Lord wil teach and instruct thee and inform and reform thee by this my visitation which is in my love to thee and the Lord was pleased to tell me the reason why my reproofs took so little effect on the Saints that it was because I did not tell them of their faults in a way of love and in the meekness of my Saviour and he sweetly informed me and told me for the future how I should speak to the Saints and God â—lrried me out all the time of my sickness to speak suitable unto persons according to each conditions And thus God came in the first night the flood of Divine excellency shined down mightily that some Saints standing by me could not but conclude that certainly I was going out of the body thinking that ere long I should be in enjoyment of what I saw expresly flow from the Spirit which to them it appeared so glorious that they were amazed that stood by me and that night I still continued speaking or rather the spirit in me And the next day I was desirous to be out of the body I longed to be dissolved and while I continued pleading with God to be out of the body entreating to go hence that so I might be swallowed up in glory lest continuing in the body I should act in the flesh and so dishonour my loving father and in the midst of this and many other requests to God this Scriprure was presented Hosea 6.2 which voice was from God my thoughts not being on it nor none speaking of it but God alone it came thus after two daies I will revive thee and the third day
came nigh me to praise that had the spirit of praises and still I was entreating the Saints to speak sweetly and gently to all persons that they might appear to be the sheep of the great shepheard Christ I told them how it bâ—came Saints to be of a meek spirit and I was not ashamed to confess that I was by nature of a contentious perverse spirit which I now loathed and every proud thought was an abomination to me and I told the Saints they were to look up for strength to walk as people of another Nation that it might be said they are the people of the living God who have the mark of God in all their actions Now friends I shall tell you once concerning my raising from weakness to strength from pain to ease and that both to the amazement of my self and those that were present with me but oh that I might never forget to praise the Lord not only in word but in my holy conversation in all these discoveries that have been related my body still grew weaker and weaker and the Sent of dead souls turned out of the grave was still in my nostrils and my body like unto a clod of earth and pain working up to my heart the day before my recovery one Captain Harris prayed by me and in that prayer I was mightily strengthened in believing and could not but say Lord why may not I be raised now And answer was suddenly darteâ— into my spirit I the Lord can raise thee now but thou shalt be raised at that time that thy God hath given thee to believe Oh how sweet was this answer in my Spirits that though I had a desire then to arise and I strove to list up my self yet I could not for the Lord told me his time was not yet and untill the day of deliverance came I was not onely weak and sick in body but my spirits were very dead not activity or liveliness in them all the forenoon but in the afternoon this Scripture was handed by my father to me why is thy soul troubled why is thy spirit sad within thee Believe in God believe also in me John 14.1 in this I was mightily refresht and my spirits quickned and faith much strengthened not that unbelief did seize upon me at any time after God had sealed these things upon my spirit though Satan told me that at that instant I believed I should recover my breath should be taken out of my body now it did not fear me God still perswading me that his power should be made manifest but I still grew to the earth my body waxt very cold and in clamy sweats that those that had been present with persons when their breath departed from them they could not imitate or liken me to any other but a dying person to my own feeling and sence my hands were dead and the rest of my body very liveless my breath to my own sence was even departing from me this was about six or seven a clock that night then I was raised and suddenly God poured a mighty spirit of prayer upon me that I felt my breath which was taking leave of my body heated and I pleaded with God in believing for the accomplishment of his promise and Abraham was set before me his faith strong though he saw no sacrifice he believed God would raise an Isaac out of the ashes so God carried my spirits up contrary unto sence and when the spirit of prayer was off me then god instructed me what to say to the Saints that stood by quivering and fearing not being able to see this accomplished by the eye of faith it being very contrary unto sence and when the spirit making use of me had done incouraging the Saints telling them they should surely see the work of the Lord and after thus speaking I fell in a trance in which I saw the glory of my Saviour exceedingly but I cannot speak what I saw and this lasted about a quarter of an hour and when it began to wear away this voice was given into my Spirits I say arise walk and praise me set forth my glory this came with a mighty strength that I felt strength given into my limbs that were deadest first revived and a song of Hallelujah sounded into my spirits saying now sing praise unto the great God and to the Lamb that sits upon the throne and great joy came into my spirits from the holy Spirit and no sooner did God say arise walk but I was lifted up by the power of the most high God from my bed and I called for my clothes all pain was ceased the Fever left me and I put on my clothes and as soon as I came out of my bed death pangs seized extraordinarily upon me my heart strings were ready to crack and I was even sinking a swiming in my head being very great also and my spirit suddenly was drawn forth to say Lord wilt thou now nullifie the work and shall thy hand maid now be deserted and the Lord answered me am not I thy strength and I found strength immediatly and could walk about the room without fainting or any body to help me and my stomack was opened that I could let down broth which before I could not and I continued up till midnight praising God with the Saints and after I was laid in my bed I could not shut my eyes to sleep all that night to think that on such a sudden so great an alteration should be made that I could lye down free from all pain and distemper that I felt before and so I grew still every day more strength was given in to me on the fourth day at night thus God appeared and on the first day of the week after which is called the Sabbath day I went abroad to the praise and glory of my father which hath ever since continued my health and I minded thus much in Gods raising of me he doubled his power in recovering me once and again when I began to faint and also the week following God told me I should have my perfect strength which week was the third day instanced in Hosea 6. And thus Saints having an incouragement from the Spirit of Truth to set before your view some of the experiences God hath given into me through his own free love but a creature-capacity cannot contain all the incomings of God I had while I lay in my sickness but being very much importuned by some friends I have fulfilled their desires through the assistance of God in setting forth as much as was brought to my remembrance I being a weak worthless creature a babe in Christ which makes his power the more manifest And now Saints I intreat your prayers continually for me HEre is further added a short discourse written eight years ago weighty and precious for that it pierceth through the veil searcheth into the inside of things and giveth some hint of things now looked for by many but then more
hid and covered whereby the wisdom and depth of that spirit that is in her may sufficiently appear we find this inscription before it as the title of it viz. The third moneth the year 1646. A declaration of Revelations or the unfoldings of God to the soul in visions of glory the mind of God made known by his spirit not onely concerning its own particular but others also according to promise thy God will shew thee great things to come Ier. 33.3 After an extraordinary appearance of God he yet shewed me more and hath been and is still very mighty in all his operations working such a frame of spirit subjecting it self unto its God in all the several kinds of providences sundry dispensations that it meets with seeing a sweet harmony in contraries in things that please not flesh and blood in every thing enjoyed and in nothing enjoyed God appears all in all so that when pipes are cut off and streams cease running and not onely streams without but also within seem to be dryed up even then when the heart and strength fails nay though there be not any feeling of the movings and actings and flowings of the Spirit though the beams are claspt in the body of the Sun it is not the beams that are my center but the Son it self unto this height will the spirit bring the Saints until which time there is a living upon something below God I by the spirit am able to tell Saints that God is about to take them off resting on any thing below himself and surely God will lead them through the wilderness but they shall march on triumphantly because the captain of their salvation shal go before them so that Scorpions and fiery Serpents shall not devour them God will put a hook in the nostrils of the Leviathan the flood of the dragon shall not swallow up the woman which is the Church Rev. 12. because the child Jesus which is the man child spoken of is within the Saints the heavens of God most expect to be shaken by God but not from God but from all things below God me thinks I see by the light of the spirit the time of desolation and restauration drawing nigh Oh Saints stand upon your watch for certainly Antichrist which is the beast spoken of that shall appear like a Lamb but with his two horns shall gore as a beast for so his nature is though in pretences there may be the form of a Lamb and in outward shew therefore iniquity is called a mysterie Rev 13. because it worketh in a Sophistical manner else it would not swallow up so many into its gulf this beast which comes wrapt up in the skin of the Lamb it is onely a Lamb in shew not in substance it is said to come out of the earth which signifies his power onely to be in the earth and his two horns the one is subtle policy or a secret sophistry and the other horn an open power the one playing the part of an underminer the other of an open discoverer the one horn worketh under ground making the ground hollow the other horn is a more visible power pushing those that work not with them and that would swallow them up into its own power but this beast understands not the things made known by the spirit to an Elisha that the King of Syria spoke in his bed chamber 2 King 6.12 so that though this undermining beast may think to affright in uttering his voice like a dragon yet he shall not scare the Saints from their stedfastness they will follow their Lamb where ever he goes which Lamb will appear a Lion to rescue the Sheep-out of the mouth of the woolf though they prevail so far as to catch the sheep into their mouths they shall not let their teeth in them so as to bite them in pieces For the Saints their bars are iron and their gates brass so that the strongest Dragons teeth cannot rend Saints a sunder the beast shall so far prevail as to scatter them from enjoying some outward priviledges nay I believe for a time all outward priviledges shall as it were be in the hand of Antichrist he exalting himself above all that is called God or above him that is the true God and seeking dominion in the seat of God which is the Saints into which seat he shall never come for its Gods alone prerogative to keep his Court in the Saints they are his throne the Prince of the Air shall abide in Airy climates Surely the footstool of God shall not mount up into the throne though the horn of policy working under ground may cause a dust to flye about the throne and may raise up ill vapours out of the bottomless pit which may be offensive and there may and is and will be yet a great smother in the Nations so that the Temple shall hardly be discerned but the King knoweth his Temple and his place where he keeps Court and his Subjects know him to be their Prince of peace in the midst of wars and ruins of the outward Court and no smother shall make their eyes to water or wax dim because Christ is their sight and the light and being of their eye no marvell that the Saints are so strong sighted what can deprive them of their sight it is not the rail of the Dragon nor the horn of the beast nor the smoak of Antichrist that is able in the least measure to dim the sight and light of Saints They are his house of glory upon whom he sets a defence what Cannon can batter down that house that God is in They do but beat the Air that mannage subtilty to shakle Saints they do but bring themselves further into shakels but what shall I say or shall God say it That he hath sent the Assyrian into the Land to bring about his own design Isa 10.12 and when the great Iehovah hath accomplished his own purpose on mount Sion by that time shall the measure of iniquity be full and the vials of wrath ready to empty on that harlot that hath deceived the Nations then shall the spirit appear in its full flame burning up all dross and rubbish before it and on whom it displaies its glorious rayes of beauty there shall be such a sparkling that others seeing the sparks flye out so fast shâ—ll conclude there is fire within and shall say this is the very Mount of God the City of the Holy One and shall admire that fire should be in the bush and the bush not burnt is it not matter of wonder that the infinite being should be in a finite being and yet not the finite consumed Me thinks I see not only foolish Virgins slumbering and sleeping but the wise Virginis are also in a slumber but when the bridegrooms appearance shall be manifested shall they still lye in slumber I believe otherwaies that there shall be such an awaking of all things the very foundations of all things shall be
shaken by that foundation that shall stand for ever God will set his Mountain on the top of all Mountains there indeed shall be the munition of rocks on rocks and one glory within another Oh what varieties are in the feasts that the Saints bridegroom provides for them If they be slumbering when his feasts are ready he sounds out the golden trumpet of his spirit and causeth a great alarm to come forth from himself which immediatly awaketh the Spouse that it saith it is the voice of my beloved that saith arise and come away leave those Babylonish garments behind that thou hast as it were been wrapt in surely the filthy polluted ragged garments that hang upon the Lords Ioshuaes Zach. 3.3 4. those who are his anointed Priests shall be shaken off the white robe of Righteousness shall be their clothing although the evil one may hang his rags on Gods Priests they shall not abide because they are of a royall descent they are the Kings children rags are the clothing of such that sit on dunghils and filthy garments for such that tumble in the mire but Saints clothing is whiter then the snow in Salmon purer then the purest thing that mortall eye can behold and this spirituall part of a Saint nothing can defile though it be of never such a tainting nature I confess what ever action or word or thought hath any thing of flesh in it there is rags for flesh is altogether a garment of rags the most refined flesh is a filthy garment not becoming a Saint no garment becomes a Saint but Jesus Christ his words and actions and thoughts and motions Oh how ragged and polluted are they if their clothing be not Jesus Christ streams are full of mud that flow not from this fountain those waters are brackâ—sh that come not from this Conduit no water refresheth like that River the streams thereof are said to refresh the City of God Psal 46.4 this is water of life that in dying times makes lively and when weeds are burnt up and wither the plants shall sprout forth and wax green and blossom as the rose and none shall pluck them up This short word is all that we meet with of this discourse she being to this day prevented of perfecting it with that enlargement intended and desired if what hath been presented here may administer any service either to the spirit of God in her for the Justification theroâ— which is now under a cloud or to poor sinners or trembling Saints for the drawing or refreshing of their benighted imprisoned spirits by the discovery of the riches glory of free love and the power of the spirit thus far appearing in this handmaid of God it will increase through Christ our rejoycing and abundant thanksgiving in the Lord who is shortly putting a new song into our mouths of Glory and triumph over all things whatsoever through the approaching and appearance of Iehovah in his glory amongst us FINIS To the Church sometimes meeting at AL-HOLLOWS Dear Friends IT hath pleased the Lord to cast me at a distance from you and your precious meetings and sweet lovely spirituall desirable enjoyments which is more prized by me then my life or liberty the which is now in Jeopardy but I am through Divine strength not onely willing to be bound but to dye upon so honourable an account as I here suffer for which is onely the expressing the Lords bounty and rich grace to sinners my heart overflowing therewith I cannot hold my compassion and dear affections worketh forth towards Christs flock so strongly that the Anti-christian Clergy hearing the sound were not able to bear it and therefore because they saw so many adhere to the extraordinary things discovered by and through a weak instrument it was grievous to them and they would not admit of any discourse with me but cryed out to the Magistrate to lay bonds upon me saying we must not have the people so deluded calling me witch deluder Imposter and other vilde terms they cast on me and farther said I stirred and provoked the pâ—ople to Rebellion against powers though I never spake as touching them since I came into the Country any great matter so as to be questioned by any but a Clergy man one Mr. Powel a great Teacher in these parts hath taken his oath against me that he heard me repeat that vision spoken of in the book which he never did Concerning the Cows and Oxen. I never changed a word with him but he coming into a friends house where many pretious souls were met which desired me to give an account of Gods dealings with me from a child which I did and I never found such a broken self-abasing self-denying frame of spirit in me as then and though this man pretended much mildness towards me yet he hath discovered much falshood and rage and because I when brought before the Rulers said I was not guilty according to the form of the bill as it was laid together against me he said I denyed my Christ and the Spirit But I have sent you the bill for to pass your judgement of my answer whether I should not have denyed Christ if I had acknowledged guilty to all therein which I must have done had I said guilty And they have bound me to the good Behaviour then they granted me a Travers to the next Sessions which is 13. weeks hence and Captain Langdon my faithful friend I came down with he and Major Bauden they were bound for my appearance 150 l. a piece and 1200 l. these dear friends they were of the late Parliament which the Priests had no good will unto and their hatred is because their standing quivers and their fat benefices are almost at an end sure I am they are Christs greatest enemies that hath been and now is Therefore that you may be answered as touching Christs Reign beg that to be tumbled down that as rotten rafters stand in the way I am very sure the Lord will cut his work short in righteousness and by all interruptions is making way for his Dyadem of beauty to appear he will set his King up as chief Protector let men and devils do what they can Therefore my dear friends be not of a doubtful mind stand fast hold your confidence and Resolution concerning those particulars you first engaged in at the setting that blessed meeting up wherein the Lords presence hath been eminently seen and their spawn is discovered therby which we thought had been free from sting and because we own that second days meeting in joyning with your pounds a few mites therefore we are watched by professors as if we were treacherous to the State but here are a company of close walking Saints to what they know and they would be more informed concerning generation-work but warning is to speak no more in that name and many of the souldiers for coming to the place where I am are warned to their colours and an Ensign
then worldly state and dying pomp and withering prosperity and fading gallantry What will they do who takes up spends and wasts away that time which sure is precious Dear friends you probably may hear divers reports concerning me from that false evil spirits raising in these parts and sending their Rumerous sound into those Eastern parts which I know hath grieved many of you though as to the harboring of Reports against me whereby to be prejudiced concerning the work of the Lord in me and magnified by me I am perswaded you will not receive any thing of such like nature which hath the Spawn of Satan in it But I would not vindicate my self were it not for truths sake But however I leave my own particular with the truth who will vindicate it self and me too at the conclusion For the which I am made willing by Divine strength to wait and not compulsively but willingly For I know him in whom I trust will stand by me And indeed he is always with me against enemies within and without what I have suffered since I saw you For the Lord thereby he is still putting on more of that cloathing of humility which my soul exceedingly desires and pray friends do you beg this for me too and that I may not be proud of Sufferings Methinks they are high honors I sure am unworthy to be so honored but O how beholding am I to Christ and his worthiness and to that I look and I know he keepeth me else I should soon depart from him and his ways I stand not one moment but by Omnipotent power And of this he maketh me largely to experience I may admire his love Many ways it hath let out its imbraces I will not fear what men can do unto me for I am not ready to be bound but to dye I speak not a Pauls word but the Lord knows I speak from seeing hearing tasting and feeling that which maketh my heart live And I know that Christ lives in me and the life that I live is by the faith of the Son of God who dyed and gave himself for me and the knowledge of this makes souls active for him not only to honor him in prosperity but to glorifie him in the fires And if any be cast into Prison by Satan either inwardly or outwardly if it be for Christ they shall have great joy and though I could not count it all joy when I was in Satans horrible Pit Yet for that sorrow occasioned by him I have had abundance of joy and can and do account it a choice pearl in my Crown that I am now Crowned with which is freely given to me not only to believe but to suffer and truly this second Prison of Satans is a joyfull one not onely to me but to many spectators My dear brothers and sisters you mourned while I was in that last years Prison But I beseech you rejoyce and be glad that your unworthy sister hath liberty and enlargement in a Prison I should rejoyce to see your faces and enjoy that sweet Communion in Gods Sanctuary but though absent in body I am sure I am not so in Spirit and the thoughts of this affords me great contentment For I cannot say woe is me because I am not in Mesech neither am I an inhabitant in the Tents of Kedar For the Lord is a Sanctuary here as well as in the West and I know if he carry me West East North or South he will not let me fall But if my self or Creature carry me I durst not be so confident My dear friends bear with my boldness for Christ I am sure I have a bashfull nature and as to my own matters I am not forward Do I herein justifie my self I do not but I praise the Lord and our Father that keepeth me whatsoever any besmearings are he washing open Fountain washeth away And I see all thing working for good though I come very short of my duty to God-ward and indeed I may cry O my barrenness and unâ—â—uâ—fulness and that truly for I tail much the expectation of so many showers of mercy in that I am so little in bringing forth fruit But I can say mâ— desires are large Pray then O pray to our Father to fulfill such desires which is aâ—ter much Sanctifie that I may glorifie him in Soul Body and Spirit they being the Lords I would not be my own nor for my own things I would be and be for the Lord intreat that I may hold out to the end notwithstanding all rage or rages I shall give you a fuller account of my demeanor when the Lord brings me to see you which sure I shall do though many seek my life They that loose their life for King Jesus sake shall take it up again and they that cowardly seeks to save it shall loose it I sent you a Letter from the West in one to brother Gardner wherein I desired your Counsel and Exhortation but I have no Answer I believe you do not forget me Yet I am grieved you do not write to me now in my bonds But I am perswaded they are made easie through your Prayer if I any way offend you tell me that I may do so no more but if any are not perswaded concerning the extraordinary dispensation that hath been and is still upon me I am sorry that any should be offended at such Soul-ravishing Sin-subduing Creature-Crucifying Christ-Exalting Ordinance Loving Enjoyments If any of these be not prized and endeavoured after by me then chide me O spare not to reprove me for in many things I offend But my dear friends if Christs eye ravisheth I must sing If he open the mouth it will Pray if the Spirit say come the Brid saith so to and they that hear utter come Lord Jesus come quickly I am taking my Voyage Time and Tyde will not tarry I take my leave Pray for my journey from Portchmouth and for courage to bring me to the Council I have much at the present I bless God Farewell my dear friends I Rest Your Engaged sister in the Spirit and Faith and Fellowship of the Gospel Anna Trapnel Who desires not to be her own but the Lords and his Peoples For Whole Sion she suffers with whole Sion she shall Reign Though unworthy From Plimouth Fort in haste going strait with Captain Kendal a States Ship to Portchmouth This 8 of the 3 Moneth 1654. FINIS
ready to fall flat on the plain ground I have had sometimes so great ravishing of spirit when I have been alone in a room by my self my outward man hath been so altered on a sudden to the view of those that have been in the house which have found me alone and not able to speak to them for a season so that they have been frighted thinking me not to be in health and they beholding the tears falling from my eyes have wondred what I ailed but it was because the Son of righteousness shone hot upon my spirit which caused a melting into tears and many Scriptures opened to me which I spoke to them that sat by which have been astonished to hear and see a poor creature so filled but it was Christ in me making use of me to publish the excellency of Jesus Christ which my soul was so enamoured with that my old Aunt sitting by me said she had lived above threescore years and yet never felt such joy of the spirit and yet a very godly woman she wept to see me so her heart was much affected And this year in which I was new-born I shall the Lord helping me give forth some few of those discoveries which whole volumes cannot contain Let free grace have all the glory Oh to be in Christ who can tell out his or her estate night and day How pleasant is it Such a one where ever it goes cannot but set forth it s beloved it cannot tell how to speak of any thing else but Christ it cannot tarry there where it may not speak of its Saviour no language is pleasant to it but that wherein its God is exalted oh how sweet was my sleeping and waking still I had rest in the bosom oâ— Jesus oh what a great delight I had to be amongst the Saints and my heart was full of zeal for his glory oh what an eagerness and forwardness there is to receive good and to do good in that time of the souls first conversion then it s forward to suffer any thing for Christ nick names are nothing to it scandals and reproaches it can trample under foot but when the doctrine of free grace was nick-named as some would tell me it was a doctrine of liberty to sin then I could not but speak sharply to such I found no doctrine leading to holiness so much as it no salve drawing out corruptions and ill humors like this no plaister healing the most desperate wound like the plaister of free grace its cleansing physick it runneth between the marrow and the bones sinners would you be rid of bloody sins Free grace hath opened a fountain for to wash in not onely your feet but head and hands yea your whole man in this fountain I was cleansed by this wine my drooping spirits were revived Christ was that good Samaritan that found me wounded whom the Law nor Priest did not pitty legall threatnings and legall promises looked upon me but pissed by and left me wallowing in blood and pained with wounds and if it had not been for that tender hearted Samaritan Jesus Christ I had perished oh how comfortable was his oyl and wine to my wounds great was his care for me no tender mother like to Jesus the Saints told me when I mourned for the loss of my tender mother that Christ would be more tender and would be all to me in the loss of earthly comforts and he was more to me then they told me he was double comfort and a Comforter that hath tarried and abided with me and will abide with me for ever a Comforter that was still revealing love and bringing love tokens to my soul and setting before me varieties of dishes at every bankquet for a year together my meat was sweet meats from heaven my drink wine upon the lees wines well refined milk and hony was my ordinary dish the least appearance of God was marvellous sweet some days and nights I had feasts full of marrow and visious full of glory In the night before sleep had seized upon me a bright light shined round my head visible and in the midst of that light stood one all in white in the likeness of a creature all covered with brightness my outward man at this light was stricken very weak and all in a sweat but I received much joy and was bid by the inward speaking of the spirit not to fear for I had seen an Angell surely it was a very glorious vision such a perfume was left in my spirits all that night and my strength of body given me as soon as this vision was ended and I was full of triumphing in the Lord who killeth and maketh alive oh how sweet are true visions oh that I could praise more that God that hath is and will be gracious to me for ever my song was when the sentence of death was on my earthly Tabernacle by reason of illness I still was filled with this joyfull long Oh death where is thy sting Oh grave vvhere is thy victory Death vvas still presenced vvithout a sting and the Lavv vvithout strength these vvere novv dissolved and gone and I savv an accomplishment of the great vvork of Redemption by Jesus Christ I could not but dance before this Ark though Michols mocked I must declare that I was past from Mount Sinai into the Regions of Mount Sion where I saw an end of the Law for Righteousness sake to every one that believes not that I was now without Law unto God neither despised I any part of the Law but beheld it good if a man or woman use it lawfully the Apostle could not have said the Law had been faulty as in the Hebrews But in respect of our corruptness in the using of it we it were that were faulty not the Law in it self that was pure but I looked not where I might not onely see it in its purity without me but enjoy it within me which while I looked first on commands and then on promises I could not attain to it but when I beheld first promises and then commands novv I savv an attaining to the Lavv of righteousness though not in or by my self yet in and by another novv I looked on the Lavv and legall precepts vvith an Evangelicall eye vvhereas before the light of the spirit camâ— I turned Gospel into Lavv but novv appeared a harmony betvveen both a Lavv within me not making void that vvithout me but novv vvas given me a help meet in beholdâ—ng morall precepts in Evangelicall arms Sinai's voice in Sions breast novv frovvns are gone and similes are come thunder is fallen and the still voice is risen death under life in the top which crown sin nor Satan can never deprive Saints of for Saints are not under legall precepts but under Gospel commands and in this sense they are dead to the Law by the life or Christ in them And for this tenent of truth I passed under the name of Aninomian but praised be the Lord