Selected quad for the lemma: spirit_n

Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
spirit_n	delight_v	good_a	great_a	257	3	2.1547	3	false

Text snippets containing the quad

ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A43768	Conjugall counsell, or, Seasonable advice, both to unmarried, and married persons directing the first how to enter into marriage estate, and the other how to demeane themselves in the Christian discharge of all such duties as that estate of life blads them to, that God may have glory, the church edification, and themselves and families, present and future comfort, tending much (by the blessing of God) to a through reformation of all the enormities of these evil times / by T.H. ...	Hilder, Thomas.	1653 (1653)	Wing H1974; ESTC R20660	113,375	218

Family to have food in due season and that it be good for quality and enough for quantity and nothing spoyled for want of seasonable spending she must have a jealous eye upon such servants in whom there is the least ground of suspition of unfaithfulnesse to prevent their passages out of the backe doore as we ●ay and to take heed of laying temptations on them by letting them enjoy any opportunities to come at such things which concerne them not to have to do with but at times of washings or cleansing the corners of the house for the Proverbe is that the temptation makes the Thiefe She must in a speciall manner be carefull of the Education and breeding of the Children they being the chiefest part of her Husbands and her owne Estate she must be as helpfull as she may if need require to her Husband in his outward Calling But thou that art a Wife if thou desire to performe thy duty this way then for thy imitation read often and consider seriously of the waies of the good Houswife in Pro. 31.10 to the end of that Chapter And truly let me tell thee that if thou be not consciencious to further thy Husband in his outward estate thou art very unworthy to have any share in that honour of being reputed among the number of meet helpers There hath many a man been raised to a good outward estate by the industry of his wife for the hand of the diligent maketh rich Prov. 10.4 whether the hand of Husband or Wife And many a man hath been brought to miserable penury and beggery by the Idlenesse and such qualities as attend thereon of his wife Lastly The Wife may very much help her Husband in his outward Estate by labouring to prevent him or to seeke to reclaime him from profuse unthrifty and expensive waies I say she should first labour to prevent him from such Estate-consuming courses which she may do by labouring to provide all necessary and wholsome dyet at home for him with due attendance and a quiet Family for many a man having wanted these at home hath sought them abroad and so by little and little custome in unthrifty courses hath brought a necessity on him of continuance in them a necessity indeed but yet springing from his own wicked heart But thou that art a Wife if thou canst not prevent this plague from falling on thy Family then in the second place thou must labour in all waies of wisdome and sweetnesse to reclaime him out of these pernitious courses Beseech him to consider his sin by this wicked way of his against God Secondly against his own soule Thirdly against his body by unhealthfulnesse and noysome diseases Fourthly against his Credit Fifthly Against his owne Estate Sixthly Against thy selfe Lastly Against his poore Children Thou must also labour to be as amiable in his eye as possible that he may delight in thy company truly they are no good meanes that some women use to reclaime their Husbands by as to follow them with an enraged spirit to an Ale-house and there to raile and foame pull and teare as if they would throw the house out of the window as we say for this course seldome or never doth do any good But if all the meanes thou canst use prove in vaine beg of God to sanctifie this sore afflicton to thee and thine and the more expensive thy Husband is abroad the more sparing be thou at home that if possible the Estate may hold out to be a meanes to bring up thy Children untill under God they can shift by good waies for themselves But for thy own condition whether in such a desperate case thou maiest make a purse for thy selfe as we say or not I shall say very little and that under correction too submitting to the judgement of learned and judicious Divines but I am fully satisfied in my own conscience that thou maiest not contrary to thy Husbands allowance lay by one penny as we lay against a wet day and the reason why I thus thinke is because thy Husband alone hath the propriety in his Estate unlesse some agreement betweene you before Marriage or betweene thy friends and him have altered the case And we must for ever walke by this Rule that we must not do evill that good may come thereby Rom. 3.8 for their damnation is just But this thou must do and in so doing approve thy selfe a Christian thou must act faith on God Hab. 3.17 18. And that thou canst not do if thou neglect lawfull meanes or use any that is unlawfull The eighth duty of the VVife to the Husband Now in the eighth and last place the duty of the Wife to her Husband is to put forth her selfe with all tendernesse and endeared Affections with all readinesse enlargednesse and cheerefulnesse to yield him comfort and succour in the time of bodily affliction sicknesse and weakness we have seen before that the aiming at comfort in all conditions is one end and a principall one too of our desiring the Marriage condition And if a woman be any way negligent herein she doth leave unperformed one speciall duty she doth owe to her Husband for if ever a man stand in need of his Wives help he doth so in a speciall manner when he cannot help himselfe Now the time of sicknesse and weakenesse is such a time and then the wife must in an extraordinary way put forth her best abilities in her own person to contribute to the foresaid purpose and not only so but she must labour to procure able and faithfull attendants about him and by no meanes neglect to look out to procure under God help from such Physitians as have both the Theory practique part of their profession and manifest most tendernesse care and honesty for the good and recovery of their patients But what meanes soever she makes use of she must depend on the God of meanes for a blessing which she must crave of him by earnest and fervent prayer for such prayer is a meanes sanctified of God to save the sick Jam. 5.15 We shall turne in here and proceed no further to lay down the particular duties that the Wife doth owe to her Husband of which she must make conscience as in the presence of God And that as she will approve her selfe to be a meet helper to her Husband the number of which duties you see are eight first Matrimoniall love Secondly Cohabitation Thirdly To be helpfull to him in the best things for the good of his soule Fourthly Submission to him Fifthly To reverence him Sixthly To labour to beare with his Infirmities Seventhly To yield him furtherance in his outward Estate Eighthly and lastly To labour to help and comfort him in time of Ilnesse and weaknesse of any kind We have endeavoured hitherto to consider of the distinct duties of the Husband to his Wife And of the VVives duties to her Husband or which duties some that the Husband doth owe unto his VVife

large of them Deale uprightly and justly with all men as in the presence of God 1 Thes 4.6 And as you would have others deale with you so deale with all men Mat. 7.12 You must prefer the good and safety of Church and State before your owne this may be deduced from the Message Mordecai sent to Queen Hester when she was fearfull to put forth her selfe for the safety of the Jewes in their extreame exigency Hest 4. the latter part of v●r 14. Rom. 12.11 Not sloathfull to do service for so the Geneva hath it Now my deare Children I beseech you in the Name of God and I hope your heavenly Father to labour to maintaine the life and heate of love unity Amity sweet Accord and Concord betweene your selves Consider for this purpose that it is a speciall duty God requires of you all to be performed each to other 1 Pet. 3.8 And the Lord hates and abominates such as low discord between Brethren Pro. 6. ver 16. compared with ver 19. Gen. 45.24 And well worth your observation for your encouragement to performe this duty here urged is that which the Spirit of God laies downe Psal 133.1 Behold saith the Psalmist how good and how pleasant it is for Brethren to dwell together in unity which in the remaining verses is amplified by two choice similitudes and with a comfortable conclusion Nature hath Characterized this so strongly upon the hearts of Men that some have taken revenge upon such as have done wrong to Brethren or Sisters Simeon and Levi slew all the Inhabitants of a whole City for the wrong that Shechem the son of Hamor had done to their Sister Dinah Gen. 34.25 26 27 31. Gideon put Zebah and Zalmunna to death for their slaying his Brethren Judg. 8.19 21. Abner slew Asahel the Brother of Joab 2 Sam. 2.23 but Joab slayes Abner for it 2 Sam. 3.27 Amnon deflowrs Tamar the sister of Absalom 2 Sam. 13.14 but Absalom did cause him to lose his life for it ver 28 29. Now these things my deare Children I mention not to put you upon such courses for they were Acts of murther in those that did them and that in a high degree and you have not nor cannot have any warrant to do such vile things all you can do in such cases is to go to God by prayer and to the Civill Magistrate by complaint for the security of each one of you But I make use of these Instances to convince you that if you love not one another you sin even against Nature how much more then against God And truly you sin also against your selves for by unbrotherly breaches you weaken your owne strength The uniting of Brethren and Sisters together by love fortifies them against the danger of oppositions The earth will with more ease swallow up one single drop of water than many drops and buckets-full met together in one A threefold Cord is not quickly broken Eccl. 4.12 Most excellent to this purpose is the story of the old dying man who having many Children and desiring they might be all united together in love he was ambitious to leave somthing upon their hearts and spirits as an Impression not easily to be forgotten but that might remaine for the end beforesaid Who having them all present before him cals for a sheafe of Arrowes which when brought he gives to divers of his Children a single Arrow and bids them break them which with great case they did But then he takes all the rest of them and with a cord he binds them in one bundle and then bids them breake them if they could which they aslaying to do could not so much as bend them Then he applies himselfe to them by way of counsell and tels them that if they were divided one from another in affection they would expose themselves to ruine But if they were all firmely conjoyn'd together as one they might be able to preserve themselves and one another Ah my deare hearts it is the desire and prayer of your poore Father for you unto the Blessed and for ever blessed Trinity who are three in Persons and but one in Essence that you all might have but one heart and one soule in relation one to another that thereby God might be glorified others edified and your selves for ever comforted by your mutuall love and sweet deportment one to another Thus my much endeared Children I have laboured to give you an Epitome of particular duties you owe unto God to his Church and to your own soules and bodies Now to all the advice I have given you in particular I shall in the Apostles owne words adde this in generall only changing the Appellation Finally my Children whatsoever things are true whatsoever things are honest whatsoever things are just whatsoever things are pure whatsoever things are lovely whatsoever things are of good report If there be any vertue and if there be any praise thinke on these things And the God of peace shall be with you Phil. 4.8 and the latter end of ver 9. Now my deare Children because I am convinced that it is the duty of a Father to seeke the compleat happinesse of his Children both Internall and Externall and though chiefly the good of their soules in relation to a better life Yet in a second place the good also of their bodies and their outward comfortable enjoyments in this Terrestiall World I cannot therefore omit in order to your well-being here to communicate unto you some advise in reference to the change of your conditions by Marriage if the Lord be pleased to bring you to such a time for seasonablenesse and to give you opportunities to embrace the same Let me tell you that for you to enjoy meet helpers in that estate you may reckon to be one of the greatest out ward favours that God doth bestow on his Children to sweeten their condition otherwise mixt with divers Afflictions in this life But in the discharge of this last duty I shall be very concise because you may meet with variety of directions this way in the ensuing lines and body of the discourse all which I beseech you to mind in your reading of them and much more in your practice in walking up to them but I shall here take the liberty to adde in generall this one thing viz. That it is a Rule Case and Maxime in Divinity that whatsoever Action any one is call'd to performe which is of high concernment especially to Gods glory and relates to the good of man and but once in probability to be done in his whole life and which being done is unalterable and remaines like the Laws of the Medes and Persians Dan. 5.8.12 There is required more than ordinary caution and circumspection in the undertaking and managing of the same Now the entring into the Marriage Estate is an Action of the same nature before exprest nay to speake properly it is that Action and none but it that fully answers the description

to love and good works She will be a meanes to help thee in the growth of grace here and so a meanes of thy happinesse hereafter Here are more flowers to adde to thy begun-Nosegay in the last end of Marriage bind them together and they will be very Odoriferous to please thy senses Thirdly thou hast need to make grace the Object of thy love in chusing a Wife as thou desirest thy love should hold out to the end For if thou make Riches the Object of thy love they may be lost they are subject to many casualties Riches have wings like an Eagle and may flye away Prov. 23.5 and when they are gone thy love will flye after If thou make beauty the Object of thy love that may vanish away for favour is deceitfull and beauty is vanity Prov. 31.30 Beauty may be taken away by sicknesse or by some accidentall blow in the face by losse of an Eye by a Canker in the Nose or some other meanes and if once gone love will go too If thou make Person the Object of thy love that may suffer much detriment crookednesse may grow in a body formerly straight such a comely body may come to want a Leg or an Arme which will be a blemish to it Now Person being defective love will be the same If thou make hope of Honour the Object of thy love Thy wives great Kindred may faile of power to advance thee nay of power to hold up themselves we want not plentifull experience of this Or they may be prejudiced against thee and frustrate thy expectations and make thee see too late that thou hast but built Castles in the Aire to depend on them so all hopes that way being lost thy love will be lost too Now when thy love hath fetcht its last gaspe it may be happy were it for thee in some sense if thou and thy love might be buried both in one grave for after love is once departed what will or can thy life be but a condition of griefe and heart-sorrow and great discontentment that thou shouldst have a wife whom thou canst take no pleasure in and wouldst with all thy heart part with and yet it may be thou shalt not part with her untill death cut thee off first But if thou make Grace the Object of thy love and withall art no whit mistaken but thou findest it to be in the heart of thy wife in deed and in truth Then as grace doth encrease so thy love will abound but grace cannot but encrease continually therefore love will multiply in thy heart exceedingly Now as thou desirest to be kept from Apostacy or falling from God and the waies of his grace And as thou desirest to be helped forward in all Christian Counsels and good waies And as thou dost desire to keep life in thy love and to encrease therein to thy own comfort and the comfort of thy wife so let it be thy care in the feare of God to looke to thy own heart that it deceive thee not but that thou dost indeed make Grace the Object of thy love in the choice of thy wife then thou maiest certainly expect by the blessing of God much comfort in such a Yoak-fellow in all thy wants of wealth or health of soule or body and mayest whilest thou enjoyest her begin to write encomiums of her and when she is dead Gen 35.19 20. then with Jacob set up a pillar upon her Grave and perhaps maiest truly say Many Daughters have done vertuously but thou excellest them all for favour is deceitfull and beauty is vaine but a woman that feareth the Lord she shall be praised Give her of the fruit of her hands and let her own works praise her in the Gates Here we shall turne in and proceed no further in the amplification of the first inward qualification of a good wife The second qualification of a good wife In the second place the chiefe qualification of a good wife next saving Grace is sweet disposition of Nature that she be of a quiet and peaceable spirit for it is much to be bewailed that in divers men and women that we doubt not in the least measure but that they are very gracious and desire to prove their soules to God in all waies of holinesse yet are of bad Natures and themselves cannot but see it and I doubt not but they desire to bewaile it before God in secret and yet cannot attaine to have their Corruptions in this kind mortified in any comfortable way yet it must be granted that such persons are not many times comfortable Consorts And therefore thou that art to make choice of a wife hast cause enough to endeavour to avoid laying a Conjugall tye upon thy selfe to live and dye with such a woman though otherwise one of good parts If a woman be of churlish nature of cross dispositons in the abstract she will cast such a coole damp on her Husbands love as may not only chill but kill it whereby though she may be a sad sufferer her selfe she will abundantly prejudice her Husband in his comforts and may shorten his daies For a man cannot live that cannot love the love of any thing gives contentment to the mind to enjoy the same A crosse and tarte nature in a wife un-wifes her as I may say for she that is not a meet helper is either not a wife or else a very imperfect one for how can she be said to be a wife that is not a meet helper who is unfit for comfortable society but such a wife is as sharp and bitter touchy and tangue by nature will not ordinarily be sociable loving kind and amiable in her carriages and deportments to her Husband and doth it not concerne thee to avoid her in thy choice of a wife for such a woman as we speake of will not make a good Wife nor good Mother nor good Dame or Mistris she will not be good in any relation I meane in the latter part of this discourse where an untoward nature is predominant in a woman Solomon saith It is is better to dwell in a corner of the house top than with a brawling woman in a wide house Prov. 21.9 He also saith The contentions of a wife are a continuall dropping Pro. 19.13 A continuall dropping will weare wast and consume stone as observation will prove And truly this dropping from a contentious wife will weare waste and consume not only all the comforts that her Husband otherwise might have in her but his skin flesh bone marrow and vitall spirits and all in time The Apostle tels us that a meeke and quiet spirit in a woman is of great price with God 1 Pet. 3.4 And so it is doubtlesse with every rationall man therefore as thou wouldst avoid many inconveniences in the Marriage Estate and wear the comforts of it as a Crown of all temporall felicity So labour to gaine a woman of sweet naturall dispositions of a very Amiable and

are not only members of the visible but of the Invisible Church of Christ and that they may do this remember that I said they must feare the Lord themselves and they must have a ●ively faith or else all the faith and holinesse of their Parents at a further or nearer distance will stand them in no stead in relation to spirituall advantages But as for outward blessings ●ll the Children of the faithfull may have the greater portion of them for their faithfull Parents sake on both sides I say on the Mothers side as well as on the Fathers I have been young saith David but now am old yet never saw the righteous forsaken nor his seed begging bread Psal 3.7.25 Then in the 26 ver He is ever mercifull and lendeth and his seed is blessed Againe if thy wife be of the seed of the faithfull then both she and her Children are interested into the benefit of their Fore fathers prayers we meane in this place only for outward things Abraham praies unto God for Ishmael Oh saith he that Ishmael might live in thy sight Gen 17.18 Then in the 20. v. God answereth him As for Ishmael saith God I have heard thee Behold I have blessed him and will make him fruitfull twelve Princes shall he beget and I will make him a great Nation Beloved you may here note That not only Ismael himselfe shall have the benefit of Abrahams prayers but his seed also for they should be Princes and indeed a great Nation and yet they were Abrahams seed only according to the flesh but had they been his spirituall seed too these mercies might have been sanctified to them and so made the greater Indeed the Prayers of the righteous availe much Jam. 5.16 Lastly as thou desirest to have comfort in thy Wives kindred thou must labour to chuse her as one springing from the stock of the faithfull for as thou dost marry her to be thy wife so thou dost marry her kindred as I may say to be thy kindred And what comfort canst thou have when thou art of a Heavenly frame of spirit thy selfe to have society and communion with a carnall and irreligious kindred Surely but little So much also for this fift particular The sixth qualification which is necessary to be look'd after in the choise of a Wife is The sixth qualificati●n c. ● a competent outward Estate And herein I might save my labour to put this down for a direction to some for it is the first thing nay the all in all their hearts are affected with except the Amorous reflectings of their wanton eyes on some paint and Features in the Face and compleatnesse of person meerly to satisfie their wanton fleshly and sensuall appetites which in this kind is unlawfull though otherwise commendable as before discussed I would have every man in a due place and with some moderation of his exorbitant affections not only look after but labour for a convenient portion with his wife in Marriage and that as he desires her to be a meet helper And first because the things of this life are the good Creatures of God they are blessings nay singular blessings when sanctified to us of speciall use to us whilest we are in this our Pilgrimage to carry us through the world without distractions and worldly encumbrances that we may with the more enlargednesse of heart walke with our God in a holy Conversation and that with cheerefulnesse Only we had need take great heed we trust not in uncertaine Riches but in the living God 1 Tim. 6 17. and that if Riches encrease we set not our hearts upon them Psal 62.10 I say we have need to prevent these evils because all blessings both spirituall and temporall are sanctified to us but in part Againe in the second place it is lawfull for a man to mind a portion with his Wife because it is the duty of Parents to lay up portions for to give portions to their Children 2 Cor. 12.14 The Apostle laies it down positively that it is the duty of Parents to lay up for their Children though he apply the same in a spirituall sense Job gave his Daughters Inheritance among their Brethren Job 42.15 Elkanab gives unto his Sons and Daughters Portions 1 Sam. 1.4 When Galeb bestows his Daughter in Marriage to Othniel he gave him a portion with her over a Southland and after on her demand the upper and nether springs Judg. 1.13.15 In the third and last place a man may looke at portion with a wife because he cannot live at so low a rate when he is married as he could when he was a single man and his wife doth encrease or help to encrease this his Charge therefore there is all the reason in the world she should bring some additionall maintenance For Money answereth all things saith Solomon Eccl. 10.19 We have a Proverbe that Money will keep love warme I must confesse that it may be true thus that as Money answereth all things as Solomon hath before said so it takes away all distractions and perturbations from the spirit and so leaves a man free with the greater torrent of love to run into the bosome of his wife and in a Reciprocall way to receive the like from her again But Beloved I beseech thee beware of wedding a purse of Money I have acquainted thee with the casualties and dangers that may overtake those that make wealth the Object of their love And let me tell thee whoever thou art that art Muck-warme thou maiest feare that all the happinesse thou wilt meet with in thy choise of a Wife will be confin'd in a purse or in a bag of trash for so is the gold of Ophir in comparison of a vertuous wife nay her price is farre above riches Pro. 31.10 Therefore if God hath lent thee a sufficient outward Estate to carry the charge of Marriage about withall then though it may be lawfull for thee to look at some portion with a yoke-fellow and thou maiest thankefully receive what God hath provided for thee yet if the portion be but small nay if none at all but spirituall vertues even the riches of the mind let in such a case the thoughts of riches pass and accept of the woman with her inward treasure and as Mordecai said unto Hoster in another case Who knoweth whether thou art come to the Kingdome for such a time as this Hos 4.14 So I say unto thee who knoweth but that God hath given thee thy wealth for such a time as this even to enlarge the outward comfortable living of such a precious woman who spiritually doth live in the bosome of Jesus Christ We shall desist from further prosecution of this sixth qualification The seventh qualification in a woman and proceed to the next The seventh qualification or necessary engredient to make a woman a meet helper is frugality or good Housewifery and this doth in a fit place succeed the last foregoing qualification