this_o thou_o find_v thou_o have_v more_o desire_n after_o grace_n that_o be_v more_o grace_n be_v thou_o not_o only_o thankful_a for_o a_o little_a grace_n but_o art_n reach_v after_o more_o do_v thou_o grow_v more_o weary_a of_o thy_o sin_n and_o more_o earnest_a after_o christ_n i_o hope_v in_o the_o lord_n it_o be_v thus_o with_o i_o that_o i_o be_o more_o weary_a of_o sin_n and_o desire_v more_o grace_n now_o growth_n be_v a_o sign_n of_o life_n again_o put_v this_o question_n to_o thyself_o do_v i_o hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o christ_n this_o be_v a_o evidence_n of_o spiritual_a life_n dead_a man_n do_v not_o hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o christ_n now_o i_o hope_v in_o the_o lord_n i_o do_v hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o christ_n and_o nothing_o but_o himself_o will_v content_v i_o again_o ask_v thy_o soul_n do_v i_o love_v god_n and_o christ_n or_o do_v i_o not_o these_o mark_v he_o give_v of_o love_n to_o christ_n lord_n i_o love_v thou_o for_o i_o be_o grieve_v at_o thy_o absence_n and_o be_o rejoice_v at_o thy_o presence_n lord_n i_o love_v thou_o for_o i_o love_v those_o that_o be_v like_o thou_o o_o my_o lord_n i_o love_v thou_o for_o i_o love_v the_o place_n and_o duty_n where_o thou_o be_v wont_a to_o meet_v thy_o people_n and_o warm_v their_o heart_n but_o if_o thou_o be_v not_o there_o i_o can_v take_v up_o content_o with_o they_o lord_n i_o humble_o say_v i_o love_v thou_o for_o i_o dare_v not_o deny_v but_o i_o be_o grieve_v when_o thou_o be_v dishonour_v by_o myself_o or_o other_o though_o i_o grieve_v for_o this_o less_o than_o i_o shall_v because_o i_o love_v thou_o less_o than_o i_o ought_v lord_n i_o love_v thou_o for_o i_o desire_v to_o have_v a_o heart_n that_o shall_v be_v willing_a to_o part_v with_o all_o for_o thou_o thing_n sinful_a in_o themselves_o at_o all_o time_n and_o thing_n lawful_a when_o thou_o call_v i_o to_o it_o once_o more_o i_o humble_o say_v i_o love_v thou_o for_o i_o will_v have_v a_o heart_n to_o love_n and_o long_o and_o look_v for_o thy_o come_v and_o appearance_n in_o glory_n mr._n ambrose_n direct_v to_o try_v our_o title_n to_o heaven_n advise_v first_o to_o write_v down_o the_o scripture-marks_a or_o grace_n or_o glory_n and_o mention_n these_o several_a scripture_n follow_v 1_o joh._n 2._o 3._o hereby_o we_o know_v that_o we_o know_v he_o if_o we_o keep_v his_o commandment_n 2_o cor._n 1._o 12._o for_o our_o rejoice_n be_v this_o the_o testimony_n of_o our_o conscience_n that_o in_o godly_a simplicity_n and_o sincerity_n we_o have_v have_v our_o conversation_n in_o the_o world_n 1_o joh._n 3._o 9_o 10._o whosoever_o be_v bear_v of_o god_n sin_v not_o because_o his_o seed_n abide_v in_o he_o neither_o can_v he_o sin_v because_o he_o be_v bear_v of_o god_n in_o this_o the_o child_n of_o god_n be_v manifest_a etc._n etc._n 1_o joh._n 4._o 13._o hereby_o we_o know_v that_o we_o dwell_v in_o he_o and_o he_o in_o we_o because_o he_o have_v give_v we_o of_o his_o spirit_n 1_o joh._n 3._o 14._o we_o know_v that_o we_o have_v pass_v from_o death_n to_o life_n because_o we_o love_v the_o brethren_n james_n 1._o 12._o there_o be_v a_o crown_n of_o life_n the_o lord_n have_v promise_v to_o they_o that_o love_v he_o but_o above_o all_o observe_v these_o text_n follow_v as_o contain_v the_o special_a gospel-condition_n to_o which_o we_o find_v so_o often_o annex_v the_o promise_n of_o justification_n and_o glorification_n joh._n 3._o 16._o god_n so_o love_v the_o world_n that_o he_o give_v his_o only_a beget_v son_n that_o whosoever_o believe_v in_o he_o shall_v not_o perish_v but_o have_v everlasting_a life_n joh._n 5._o 24._o he_o that_o believe_v have_v everlasting_a life_n and_o shall_v not_o come_v into_o condemnation_n but_o be_v pass_v from_o death_n unto_o life_n joh._n 6._o 40._o and_o this_o be_v the_o will_n of_o he_o that_o send_v i_o that_o every_o one_o that_o see_v the_o son_n and_o believe_v in_o he_o may_v have_v everlasting_a life_n joh._n 20._o 31._o these_o thing_n be_v write_v that_o you_o may_v believe_v that_o jesus_n be_v the_o christ_n the_o son_n of_o god_n and_o that_o believe_v you_o may_v have_v life_n through_o his_o name_n act_n 16._o 31._o believe_v on_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n and_o thou_o shall_v be_v save_v rom._n 10._o 9_o 10._o if_o thou_o shall_v confess_v with_o thy_o mouth_n the_o lord_n jesus_n and_o shall_v believe_v in_o thy_o heart_n that_o god_n have_v raise_v he_o from_o the_o dead_a thou_o shall_v be_v save_v heb._n 10._o 39_o we_o be_v not_o of_o they_o who_o draw_v back_o unto_o perdition_n but_o of_o they_o that_o believe_v to_o the_o save_n of_o the_o soul_n 1_o joh._n 5._o 13._o these_o thing_n have_v i_o write_v unto_o you_o that_o believe_v in_o the_o name_n of_o the_o son_n of_o god_n that_o you_o may_v know_v that_o you_o have_v eternal_a life_n from_o the_o first_o text_n we_o gather_v the_o scripture_n mark_v of_o universal_a obedience_n from_o the_o second_o sincerity_n from_o the_o three_o opposition_n against_o and_o abstinence_n from_o sin_n from_o the_o four_o spiritual_a performance_n of_o holy_a duty_n from_o the_o five_o a_o love_n of_o the_o brethren_n from_o the_o six_o a_o love_n of_o christ_n from_o all_o the_o rest_n faith_n in_o christ_n the_o root_n and_o spring_n of_o all_o other_o grace_n and_o necessary_a condition_n of_o pardon_n and_o eternal_a life_n proceed_v we_o now_o to_o put_v the_o question_n to_o ourselves_o but_o be_v sure_o to_o state_n it_o aright_o let_v it_o not_o be_v whether_o there_o be_v any_o good_a in_o we_o at_o all_o for_o so_o we_o shall_v err_v on_o the_o one_o hand_n nor_o yet_o whether_o we_o have_v such_o and_o such_o a_o degree_n and_o measure_n of_o grace_n for_o so_o we_o shall_v err_v on_o the_o other_o hand_n but_o whether_o according_a to_o the_o forementioned_a scripture_n such_o and_o such_o a_o save_a grace_n be_v in_o we_o or_o not_o now_o i_o have_v beg_v of_o god_n his_o help_n to_o try_v the_o state_n of_o my_o soul_n by_o what_o follow_v this_o 17_o of_o august_n 1676._o and_o i_o do_v hope_n i_o find_v the_o true_a mark_n of_o save_a grace_n in_o my_o soul_n and_o desire_v here_o to_o enter_v they_o down_o that_o i_o may_v have_v recourse_n to_o it_o in_o time_n of_o need_n and_o the_o lord_n grant_v i_o be_v sincere_a 1._o o_o my_o soul_n have_v thou_o respect_v to_o and_o do_v observe_v all_o god_n commandment_n do_v thou_o keep_v the_o law_n in_o truth_n and_o sincerity_n though_o not_o in_o gradual_a perfection_n do_v thou_o know_v god_n in_o part_n and_o love_n god_n true_o by_o a_o sincere_a obedience_n do_v thou_o keep_v the_o commandment_n in_o a_o evangelical_n sense_n and_o wherein_o thou_o fail_v do_v thou_o acknowledge_v thy_o fail_n and_o rely_v upon_o christ_n for_o pardon_n be_v thy_o universal_a obedience_n internal_a and_o spiritual_a as_o well_o as_o external_a be_v thy_o delight_n in_o the_o law_n of_o god_n after_o the_o inward_a man_n be_v thy_o obedience_n to_o the_o duty_n of_o both_o table_n do_v thou_o make_v conscience_n of_o particular_a duty_n in_o every_o relation_n 2._o o_o my_o soul_n have_v thou_o sincerity_n and_o uprightness_n of_o heart_n be_v there_o a_o powerful_a change_n of_o the_o whole_a man_n by_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n do_v thou_o do_v what_o be_v good_a upon_o this_o account_n because_o god_n command_v it_o not_o because_o it_o will_v agree_v with_o thy_o end_n and_o advantage_n but_o because_o god_n have_v require_v it_o be_v thou_o diligent_a and_o conscientious_a in_o secret_a duty_n to_o perform_v they_o and_o in_o spiritual_a or_o heart_n sin_n and_o secret_a lust_n to_o avoid_v they_o do_v thou_o serve_v god_n in_o spirit_n do_v thou_o eye_n god_n whether_o in_o private_a or_o public_a do_v thou_o set_v thyself_o zealous_o against_o those_o sin_n thou_o be_v most_o incline_v unto_o do_v thou_o hate_v sin_n most_o in_o thyself_o and_o in_o those_o that_o be_v near_a unto_o thou_o have_v thou_o respect_v to_o all_o god_n commandment_n but_o yet_o to_o the_o duty_n of_o the_o first_o table_n before_o the_o second_o to_o the_o command_v of_o great_a duty_n before_o those_o of_o lesser_a duty_n or_o if_o in_o all_o these_o particular_n thou_o find_v not_o such_o a_o uprightness_n as_o have_v no_o deceit_n or_o falsehood_n or_o carnal_a respect_n at_o all_o join_v with_o it_o for_o as_o all_o other_o grace_n be_v but_o in_o part_n so_o be_v we_o sincere_a and_o upright_o but_o in_o part_n be_v thou_o humble_v under_o thy_o hypocrisy_n and_o spiritual_a guile_n and_o do_v thou_o trust_v only_o to_o christ_n and_o do_v thou_o cry_v as_o david_n do_v for_o truth_n in_o the_o
be_v a_o temptation_n and_o present_o to_o run_v to_o jesus_n christ_n for_o succour_n and_o relief_n and_o to_o apply_v the_o promise_n unto_o my_o soul_n and_o i_o quick_o find_v comfort_n and_o be_v soon_o free_v from_o temptation_n but_o in_o this_o my_o prosperity_n i_o be_v ready_a to_o say_v i_o shall_v never_o be_v remove_v i_o begin_v to_o think_v i_o shall_v never_o be_v in_o adversity_n and_o sometime_o i_o be_v ready_a to_o question_v whether_o i_o be_v one_o of_o god_n child_n because_o i_o have_v no_o affliction_n i_o think_v god_n do_v not_o love_v i_o because_o he_o do_v not_o chasten_v i_o i_o think_v i_o can_v bear_v any_o thing_n he_o shall_v lay_v upon_o i_o as_o i_o value_v not_o life_n so_o i_o fear_v not_o death_n i_o think_v i_o can_v free_o and_o willing_o lay_v down_o my_o life_n for_o christ_n if_o i_o be_v call_v to_o it_o but_o this_o joyful_a lively_a active_a frame_n of_o spirit_n do_v not_o long_o continue_v in_o about_o a_o quarter_n of_o a_o year_n it_o begin_v to_o abate_v and_o i_o begin_v to_o be_v more_o cold_a and_o indifferent_a in_o spiritual_a thing_n and_o not_o to_o be_v so_o active_a and_o lively_a as_o before_o this_o be_v a_o great_a trouble_n to_o i_o and_o make_v i_o to_o question_v all_o that_o be_v pass_v i_o think_v i_o shall_v still_o have_v grow_v better_a and_o better_o and_o not_o worse_o then_o that_o scripture_n be_v terrible_a to_o i_o 2_o pet._n 2._o 29._o if_o after_o they_o have_v escape_v the_o pollution_n of_o the_o world_n through_o the_o knowledge_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o saviour_n jesus_n christ_n they_o be_v again_o entangle_v therein_o and_o overcome_v their_o latter_a end_n be_v worse_a than_o their_o beginning_n and_o that_o scripture_n heb._n 6._o 4._o it_o be_v impossible_a for_o those_o that_o be_v once_o enlighten_v and_o have_v taste_v the_o good_a word_n of_o god_n etc._n etc._n if_o they_o fall_v away_o to_o renew_v they_o again_o to_o repentance_n also_o that_o text_n rev._n 3._o 15_o 16._o because_o thou_o be_v neither_o hot_a nor_o cold_a i_o will_v spew_v thou_o out_o of_o my_o mouth_n i_o be_v much_o sensible_a of_o my_o backslide_n fear_v i_o shall_v turn_v apostate_n have_v not_o that_o sweet_a promise_v interpose_v i_o will_v heal_v their_o backslide_n and_o love_v they_o free_o i_o have_v be_v certain_o swallow_v up_o in_o despair_n satan_n that_o roar_a lion_n come_v upon_o i_o very_o fierce_o but_o that_o scripture_n be_v very_o comfortable_a to_o i_o i_o will_v put_v my_o fear_n into_o their_o heart_n and_o my_o spirit_n into_o their_o inward_a part_n and_o they_o shall_v never_o depart_v from_o i_o and_o who_o he_o love_v he_o love_v to_o the_o end_n and_o he_o that_o have_v begin_v a_o good_a work_n will_v perform_v it_o unto_o the_o day_n of_o jesus_n christ_n and_o faithful_a be_v he_o that_o have_v call_v you_o who_o will_v also_o do_v it_o these_o and_o other_o scripture_n do_v support_v i_o but_o i_o can_v not_o attain_v to_o my_o former_a lively_a performance_n of_o holy_a duty_n nor_o have_v i_o that_o communion_n with_o god_n in_o holy_a duty_n as_o former_o which_o be_v no_o small_a trouble_n to_o i_o and_o keep_v i_o from_o rejoice_v in_o god_n yet_o i_o can_v say_v but_o i_o have_v sometime_o assurance_n of_o god_n love_n but_o not_o constant_o as_o i_o have_v before_o then_o my_o grandmother_n be_v sick_a i_o go_v to_o be_v with_o she_o at_o my_o uncle_n house_n he_o be_v a_o very_a good_a man_n his_o company_n be_v no_o small_a comfort_n to_o i_o my_o grandmother_n also_o be_v a_o very_a pious_a woman_n be_v always_o speak_v of_o what_o be_v good_a i_o enjoy_v much_o of_o god_n while_o i_o be_v there_o but_o yet_o be_v many_o time_n in_o fear_n about_o my_o spiritual_a state_n and_o much_o trouble_v with_o the_o temptation_n of_o satan_n after_o i_o have_v be_v there_o a_o quarter_n of_o a_o year_n it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o visit_v i_o with_o the_o small_a pox_n which_o be_v a_o very_a sore_a disease_n to_o i_o i_o be_v bring_v so_o low_a as_o to_o be_v give_v over_o for_o dead_a by_o most_o if_o not_o all_o that_o see_v i_o and_o once_o they_o think_v i_o have_v be_v actual_o dead_a when_o i_o be_v first_o sick_a i_o begin_v to_o be_v in_o great_a fear_n what_o will_v become_v of_o i_o if_o i_o shall_v die_v but_o this_o cloud_n be_v soon_o blow_v over_o and_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o shine_v upon_o i_o with_o the_o light_n of_o his_o countenance_n and_o speak_v peace_n to_o my_o conscience_n and_o when_o i_o be_v as_o weak_a as_o i_o think_v any_o can_v be_v and_o live_v yet_o have_v i_o then_o much_o inward_a joy_n and_o comfort_n the_o promise_n be_v as_o cordial_n to_o my_o faint_a spirit_n that_o promise_n isa_n 41._o 10_o do_v often_o refresh_v i_o fear_v not_o for_o i_o be_o with_o thou_o be_v not_o dismay_v for_o i_o be_o thy_o god_n i_o will_v strengthen_v thou_o i_o will_v help_v thou_o yea_o i_o will_v uphold_v thou_o with_o the_o right_a hand_n of_o my_o righteousness_n that_o also_o psal_n 73._o 25._o my_o flesh_n and_o my_o heart_n fail_v but_o god_n be_v the_o strength_n of_o my_o heart_n and_o my_o portion_n for_o ever_o so_o psal_n 43._o 5._o why_o be_v thou_o cast_v down_o o_o my_o soul_n why_o be_v thou_o disquiet_v within_o i_o hope_v thou_o in_o god_n for_o i_o shall_v yet_o praise_v he_o who_o be_v the_o health_n of_o my_o countenance_n and_o my_o god_n these_o and_o many_o other_o promise_v be_v my_o support_n in_o the_o day_n of_o my_o distress_n i_o have_v then_o such_o assurance_n of_o god_n goodness_n and_o love_n to_o i_o and_o of_o the_o pardon_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o of_o my_o interest_n in_o christ_n that_o i_o long_v for_o death_n and_o can_v not_o bear_v the_o thought_n of_o live_v any_o long_o i_o have_v such_o fore-tastes_a of_o heaven_n that_o i_o care_v not_o for_o the_o earth_n i_o earnest_o desire_v to_o be_v dissolve_v and_o to_o be_v with_o christ_n which_o be_v best_a of_o all_o i_o think_v if_o i_o shall_v live_v any_o long_a i_o shall_v but_o sin_n against_o god_n and_o that_o i_o can_v not_o glorify_v he_o in_o my_o life_n as_o i_o desire_v i_o think_v if_o he_o shall_v restore_v i_o i_o shall_v not_o be_v enable_v to_o walk_v answerable_o to_o so_o great_a a_o mercy_n these_o and_o other_o such_o reason_n make_v i_o impatient_a of_o life_n and_o long_o for_o death_n i_o be_v angry_a with_o any_o that_o pray_v for_o my_o life_n i_o now_o fear_v that_o i_o do_v sin_n in_o be_v so_o desirous_a of_o death_n and_o not_o submit_v my_o will_n to_o the_o will_n of_o god_n to_o be_v at_o his_o disposal_n whether_o for_o death_n or_o life_n so_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n after_o a_o long_a and_o tedious_a sickness_n to_o raise_v i_o up_o from_o the_o very_a gate_n of_o death_n this_o be_v look_v upon_o as_o almost_o a_o resurrection_n from_o the_o dead_a for_o which_o great_a deliverance_n i_o can_v never_o be_v sufficient_o thankful_a and_o because_o i_o so_o much_o desire_v to_o die_v i_o do_v not_o prize_v my_o life_n and_o this_o deliverance_n as_o i_o shall_v have_v do_v neither_o do_v i_o render_v to_o the_o lord_n according_a to_o the_o mercy_n i_o receive_v from_o he_o i_o desire_v now_o to_o be_v true_o thankful_a to_o the_o lord_n for_o all_o his_o mercy_n and_o to_o show_v forth_o my_o thankfulness_n by_o walk_v more_o close_o with_o he_o all_o the_o day_n of_o my_o life_n the_o follow_a encourage_v consideration_n among_o other_o be_v collect_v by_o he_o out_o of_o several_a book_n and_o sermon_n and_o be_v print_v from_o his_o own_o paper_n in_o hope_n of_o be_v useful_a for_o the_o support_n of_o other_o i._o thou_o that_o complain_v of_o a_o hard_a heart_n and_o fain_o will_v mourn_v for_o thy_o sin_n to_o thou_o i_o say_v be_v not_o discourage_v thy_o hardness_n fear_v and_o feel_v be_v not_o the_o plague_n of_o hardness_n it_o be_v the_o disease_n indeed_o of_o the_o heart_n but_o it_o be_v not_o the_o curse_n it_o shall_v not_o destroy_v thou_o thou_o may_v be_v comfort_v under_o hardness_n feel_v and_o bewail_v and_o pray_v against_o true_a tenderness_n about_o sin_n be_v always_o accompany_v with_o dislike_n and_o hatred_n against_o sin_n and_o with_o watch_v and_o strive_v against_o it_o if_o thou_o have_v so_o much_o tenderness_n bless_v god_n and_o be_v thankful_a ii_o there_o be_v no_o instance_n can_v be_v give_v of_o a_o soul_n utter_o for_o saken_a of_o god_n that_o can_v mourn_v for_o the_o want_n of_o his_o presence_n if_o god_n love_n be_v precious_a to_o thou_o and_o most_o desirable_a be_v
righteousness_n be_v more_o satisfactory_a and_o please_a unto_o god_n than_o all_o the_o sinner_n wickedness_n be_v injurious_a and_o displease_v to_o he_o o_o this_o be_v a_o very_a sweet_a and_o comfortable_a consideration_n indeed_o there_o be_v no_o such_o evil_a in_o sin_n to_o damn_v thou_o as_o there_o be_v merit_n in_o christ_n blood_n to_o save_v thou_o ix_o to_o despair_v of_o mercy_n be_v a_o great_a sin_n than_o all_o thy_o other_o sin_n this_o make_v thou_o like_o the_o devil_n himself_o it_o be_v the_o glory_n of_o divine_a grace_n to_o triumph_v over_o all_o the_o sinner_n unworthiness_n resolve_v therefore_o i_o will_v yet_o follow_v god_n though_o i_o have_v offend_v he_o come_v on_o i_o what_o will_v i_o know_v he_o be_v god_n and_o not_o man_n who_o can_v help_v nay_o will_v help_v if_o i_o come_v unto_o he_o isa_n 57_o 16._o i_o will_v not_o contend_v for_o ever_o nor_o be_v always_o wroth_a for_o the_o spirit_n will_v fail_v before_o i_o and_o the_o soul_n that_o i_o have_v make_v isa_n 41._o 17._o when_o the_o poor_a and_o needy_a seek_v water_n and_o there_o be_v none_o and_o their_o tongue_n fail_v for_o thirst_n i_o the_o lord_n will_v hear_v they_o i_o the_o god_n of_o israel_n will_v not_o forsake_v they_o when_o it_o come_v to_o fail_v faint_a sink_a die_a then_o come_v help_v be_v much_o in_o prayer_n and_o hold_v on_o wait_v god_n may_v make_v you_o seek_v and_o wait_v a_o long_a time_n aye_o but_o he_o will_v certain_o come_v and_o that_o will_v make_v amends_o for_o all_o x._o how_o shall_v one_o be_v willing_a to_o die_v that_o have_v not_o a_o sense_n of_o god_n love_n i_o answer_v when_o we_o can_v see_v our_o love_n to_o god_n though_o we_o can_v see_v god_n love_n to_o we_o what_o be_v the_o act_n of_o our_o soul_n towards_o god_n when_o we_o can_v see_v no_o love_n in_o his_o dispensation_n towards_o we_o as_o that_o good_a man_n under_o great_a affliction_n and_o dissatisfaction_n about_o the_o love_n of_o god_n at_o last_o 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and_o promise_n be_v he_o speak_v as_o comfortable_o in_o his_o word_n as_o ever_o he_o can_v deny_v his_o own_o word_n god_n sometime_o withdraw_v comfort_n that_o we_o may_v prize_v his_o word_n more_o and_o depend_v more_o upon_o that_o you_o please_v and_o honour_n god_n most_o when_o you_o can_v venture_v your_o soul_n on_o his_o bare_a word_n and_o promise_n a_o faith_n of_o recumbency_n on_o christ_n in_o the_o want_n of_o comfort_n do_v more_o honour_n god_n than_o the_o high_a faith_n of_o assurance_n why_o shall_v death_n be_v a_o terror_n to_o they_o that_o fear_v god_n none_o need_v to_o fear_v death_n that_o be_v escape_v from_o the_o dominion_n of_o sin_n and_o the_o devil_n can_v you_o say_v you_o do_v not_o love_n christ_n and_o that_o you_o do_v love_n sin_n then_o there_o be_v cause_n enough_o for_o fear_n but_o this_o be_v to_o bely_v the_o bless_a spirit_n the_o godly_a have_v hope_n in_o his_o death_n a_o hope_n of_o life_n even_o at_o the_o point_n of_o death_n a_o godly_a man_n hope_n can_v never_o fail_v he_o he_o may_v want_v sensible_a comfort_n but_o he_o do_v hope_n still_o death_n it_o be_v a_o go_n to_o god_n and_o shall_v a_o godly_a man_n be_v afraid_a of_o go_v to_o his_o god_n again_o it_o be_v a_o sleep_n a_o rest_n be_v weary_a man_n afraid_a of_o rheir_a rest_n and_o of_o go_v to_o sleep_v if_o death_n be_v a_o enemy_n it_o be_v a_o slay_a enemy_n christ_n have_v be_v the_o death_n of_o death_n and_o why_o shall_v that_o have_v terror_n in_o it_o that_o have_v no_o life_n in_o it_o a_o godly_a man_n be_v a_o real_a gainer_n by_o death_n he_o gain_v more_o by_o his_o death_n than_o ever_o he_o get_v all_o his_o life_n long_o viz._n happiness_n and_o joy_n that_o shall_v never_o end_v again_o though_o death_n separate_v relation_n here_o yet_o death_n can_v never_o separate_v the_o godly_a man_n soul_n and_o body_n from_o christ_n both_o still_o continue_v unite_v unto_o christ_n they_o sleep_v in_o jesus_n god_n be_v still_o their_o god_n and_o therefore_o let_v not_o the_o saint_n of_o god_n be_v afraid_a of_o death_n xi_o psal_n 147._o 11._o the_o lord_n take_v pleasure_n in_o they_o that_o fear_v he_o in_o they_o that_o hope_v in_o his_o mercy_n then_o our_o prayer_n please_v god_n when_o they_o be_v put_v up_o to_o he_o in_o faith_n and_o hope_n of_o his_o mercy_n poor_a tremble_a soul_n that_o meditute_v nothing_o but_o terror_n little_o think_v how_o it_o will_v please_v god_n to_o see_v they_o to_o hope_v in_o his_o mercy_n they_o be_v conscious_a to_o themselves_o how_o they_o have_v displease_v god_n but_o hope_v in_o god_n mercy_n and_o he_o will_v take_v pleasure_n in_o thou_o they_o bring_v most_o honour_n to_o god_n that_o be_v most_o admire_a and_o magnify_v of_o his_o mercy_n his_o heart_n be_v most_o set_v on_o mercy_n in_o all_o the_o manifestation_n of_o it_o therefore_o let_v poor_a droop_a soul_n still_o maintain_v hope_n in_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n through_o christ_n xii_o this_o be_v certain_a in_o every_o afflictive_a providence_n to_o believer_n there_o be_v more_o mercy_n than_o wrath_n nay_o it_o be_v all_o mercy_n in_o the_o issue_n and_o not_o in_o revengeful_a wrath_n but_o paternal_a anger_n they_o have_v support_v under_o all_o sometime_o they_o may_v be_v under_o desertion_n and_o no_o comfort_n of_o god_n come_v into_o their_o soul_n they_o be_v ready_a to_o say_v lord_n why_o cast_v thou_o off_o my_o soul_n but_o then_o they_o have_v this_o to_o support_v they_o they_o can_v love_v god_n and_o mourn_v after_o his_o favour_n though_o he_o seem_v to_o be_v go_v from_o they_o they_o can_v look_v after_o he_o and_o long_o for_o his_o return_n and_o this_o be_v such_o a_o effect_n of_o grace_n that_o be_v more_o worth_a than_o the_o whole_a world_n sustentation_n say_v mr._n baines_n i_o thank_v god_n i_o have_v though_o suavity_n i_o have_v none_o sickness_n and_o sorrow_n and_o death_n that_o be_v the_o fruit_n of_o sin_n none_o can_v be_v exempt_v from_o but_o grace_n do_v this_o for_o believer_n the_o curse_n the_o hurt_a the_o venom_n of_o all_o be_v take_v away_o they_o be_v gainer_n by_o all_o 2_o cor._n 4._o 16._o though_o our_o outward_a man_n etc._n etc._n all_o work_n for_o their_o good_a other_o have_v comfort_n with_o a_o curse_n but_o believer_n have_v cross_n with_o a_o blessing_n the_o gild_n of_o sin_n the_o grace_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n do_v quite_o take_v away_o from_o all_o believer_n heb._n 8._o 12._o pardon_v mercy_n clear_v the_o soul_n of_o gild_n what_o comfort_n be_v this_o to_o such_o that_o by_o the_o grace_n of_o justification_n through_o christ_n they_o be_v in_o god_n account_n righteous_a and_o upon_o the_o account_n of_o christ_n their_o righteousness_n they_o may_v come_v into_o god_n presence_n with_o as_o assure_a welcome_n as_o adam_n in_o paradise_n or_o the_o angel_n now_o in_o heaven_n this_o thou_o may_v be_v assure_v of_o that_o christ_n will_v not_o break_v the_o bruise_a reed_n nor_o quench_v the_o smoke_a flax._n though_o thy_o faith_n be_v so_o small_a that_o it_o yield_v not_o light_a to_o other_o nor_o heat_v to_o thy_o own_o heart_n yet_o christ_n discern_v and_o accept_v it_o but_o can_v a_o man_n have_v the_o exercise_n of_o grace_n and_o not_o know_v it_o fear_v god_n and_o not_o discern_v it_o i_o answer_v yes_o some_o grace_n may_v then_o be_v act_v and_o discern_v by_o other_o as_o well_o as_o at_o any_o other_o time_n he_o may_v fear_v god_n as_o true_o and_o as_o much_o as_o ever_o and_o yet_o his_o grace_n may_v not_o have_v light_a to_o discover_v itself_o to_o he_o it_o may_v have_v a_o be_v and_o work_v in_o the_o heart_n when_o it_o be_v not_o clear_a in_o thy_o apprehension_n xiii_o harken_v unto_o the_o voice_n of_o god_n o_o poor_a doubt_v disconsolate_a sinner_n why_o do_v thou_o pass_v sentence_n against_o thyself_o thou_o say_v o_o my_o sin_n be_v very_o many_o well_o but_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n be_v far_o more_o o_o but_o my_o sin_n be_v very_o great_a true_o but_o the_o meroy_n of_o god_n be_v far_o great_a o_o but_o my_o sin_n be_v of_o long_a continuance_n true_o but_o yet_o thy_o sin_n be_v but_o sin_n of_o time_n his_o mercy_n be_v the_o mercy_n of_o eternity_n o_o but_o my_o sin_n be_v great_a than_o you_o be_v aware_a of_o they_o be_v crimson_a scarlet_a sin_n how_o great_a be_v they_o be_v they_o as_o great_a as_o the_o sin_n of_o manasseh_n that_o be_v a_o wizard_n that_o fill_v jerusalem_n with_o blood_n yet_o god_n pardon_v he_o be_v they_o great_a than_o the_o sin_n of_o mary_n magdalen_n out_o of_o who_o be_v cast_v seven_o devil_n and_o yet_o god_n have_v mercy_n for_o she_o o_o but_o i_o fear_v the_o stock_n of_o mercy_n be_v quite_o spend_v no_o his_o mercy_n endure_v for_o ever_o it_o be_v from_o everlasting_a to_o everlasting_a but_o i_o have_v exceed_o abuse_v mercy_n yet_o remember_v that_o though_o thou_o have_v sin_v against_o his_o mercy_n yet_o thou_o have_v not_o sin_v above_o his_o mercy_n isa_n 55._o 8._o my_o thought_n be_v not_o as_o your_o thought_n nor_o my_o way_n as_o your_o way_n as_o the_o heaven_n be_v above_o the_o earth_n so_o be_v my_o thought_n above_o your_o thought_n and_o my_o way_n above_o your_o way_n finis_fw-la finis_fw-la my_o honour_a friend_n mr._n joshua_n gearing_n sen._n
return_v to_o he_o of_o who_o i_o be_o now_o further_o to_o speak_v it_o please_v god_n to_o begin_v very_o early_o with_o he_o before_o he_o come_v to_o london_n when_o he_o be_v about_o twelve_o or_o thirteen_o year_n old_a god_n do_v often_o so_o bless_v a_o good_a education_n of_o child_n and_o will_v often_o do_v it_o if_o parent_n will_v be_v careful_a to_o do_v their_o duty_n in_o this_o particular_a with_o wisdom_n and_o faithfulness_n there_o be_v such_o discovery_n as_o i_o be_o inform_v of_o his_o serious_a godliness_n in_o his_o youth_n as_o be_v observe_v by_o many_o to_o the_o admiration_n of_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n he_o begin_v betimes_o to_o seek_v after_o god_n and_o christ_n these_o be_v his_o best_a day_n and_o he_o comfortable_o find_v he_o who_o his_o soul_n love_v the_o pleasure_n the_o advantage_n the_o success_n and_o comfort_n of_o devotedness_n to_o god_n in_o our_o youth_n be_v beyond_o all_o expression_n when_o he_o come_v to_o london_n god_n direct_v and_o settle_v he_o as_o a_o apprentice_n with_o his_o cousin_n mr._n joshua_n gearing_n already_o mention_v where_o he_o have_v the_o advantage_n of_o a_o religious_a family_n and_o constant_o attend_v the_o serious_a affectionate_a ministry_n of_o mr._n james_n nalton_n who_o name_n and_o memory_n be_v still_o precious_a with_o many_o in_o this_o city_n god_n be_v please_v to_o bless_v his_o preach_v to_o his_o effectual_a conversion_n or_o rather_o to_o nourish_v and_o increase_v the_o seed_n of_o grace_n plant_v before_o he_o always_o think_v he_o can_v never_o speak_v with_o honour_n and_o affection_n enough_o of_o mr._n nalton_n who_o god_n have_v make_v so_o useful_a to_o his_o soul_n he_o will_v frequent_o to_o his_o die_a day_n mention_n with_o what_o powerful_a impression_n on_o his_o conscience_n his_o sermon_n be_v accompany_v how_o he_o think_v himself_o in_o a_o corner_n of_o heaven_n under_o his_o ministry_n that_o he_o can_v many_o time_n have_v wish_v to_o have_v go_v direct_o to_o heaven_n from_o the_o place_n of_o public_a worship_n such_o a_o presence_n and_o power_n of_o the_o divine_a spirit_n do_v attend_v the_o gospel-ministrations_a may_v the_o residue_n of_o this_o spirit_n be_v more_o plentiful_o pour_v out_o on_o the_o minister_n of_o christ_n in_o this_o city_n and_o nation_n for_o the_o like_a effect_n on_o the_o soul_n of_o man_n he_o have_v often_o speak_v and_o write_v how_o sweet_a and_o advantageous_a a_o season_n for_o religion_n the_o time_n of_o his_o apprenticeship_n be_v what_o heavenly_a thought_n and_o meditation_n be_v frequent_o have_v in_o the_o shop_n and_o behind_o the_o counter_a he_o have_v often_o profess_v that_o by_o reason_n of_o his_o freedom_n at_o that_o time_n from_o worldly_a care_n and_o business_n it_o be_v the_o best_a time_n he_o ever_o enjoy_v for_o god_n and_o his_o soul_n in_o his_o whole_a life_n he_o have_v then_o nothing_o else_o to_o do_v but_o to_o serve_v god_n and_o please_v his_o master_n who_o 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more_o with_o his_o master_n be_v afraid_a lest_o the_o world_n shall_v engross_v too_o much_o of_o his_o heart_n and_o time_n and_o have_v almost_o resolve_v to_o retire_v into_o the_o country_n to_o be_v out_o of_o the_o danger_n of_o many_o temptation_n and_o to_o have_v more_o opportunity_n for_o meditation_n and_o prayer_n but_o judge_v true_o enough_o that_o that_o be_v not_o the_o way_n to_o be_v useful_a in_o the_o world_n nor_o can_v he_o bring_v so_o much_o glory_n to_o god_n in_o a_o private_a retire_a life_n as_o by_o settle_v in_o a_o family_n and_o call_v he_o according_o do_v both_o and_o choose_v a_o suitable_a companion_n out_o of_o a_o religious_a family_n who_o desire_v with_o he_o to_o make_v religion_n her_o business_n and_o god_n be_v afterward_o very_a kind_n to_o he_o in_o the_o like_a choice_n it_o be_v his_o custom_n every_o night_n to_o write_v down_o in_o shorthand_n some_o of_o the_o most_o material_a thing_n of_o every_o day_n relate_v to_o his_o soul_n as_o his_o mercy_n his_o sin_n the_o frame_n of_o his_o heart_n in_o duty_n gracious_a return_v of_o prayer_n special_a providence_n to_o himself_o and_o other_o etc._n etc._n he_o desire_v every_o night_n to_o lie_v down_o in_o expectation_n of_o death_n and_o preparation_n for_o it_o though_o he_o be_v in_o perfect_a health_n and_o through_o the_o goodness_n of_o god_n he_o enjoy_v a_o extraordinary_a measure_n of_o it_o for_o many_o year_n so_o that_o till_o a_o little_a before_o his_o death_n i_o have_v hear_v he_o say_v that_o he_o have_v not_o be_v above_o twice_o keep_v by_o sickness_n from_o hear_v a_o sermon_n on_o the_o lord_n day_n for_o the_o space_n of_o forty_o year_n to_o those_o christian_n who_o have_v full_a leisure_n for_o this_o excellent_a daily_a work_n of_o self-examination_n and_o record_v the_o result_n of_o it_o this_o course_n will_v be_v of_o unspeakable_a advantage_n but_o i_o urge_v it_o not_o upon_o all_o it_o be_v sufficient_a to_o many_o to_o renew_v their_o repentance_n for_o daily_a fail_n and_o record_v only_o the_o extraordinary_a and_o more_o remarkable_a passage_n of_o their_o life_n not_o have_v time_n to_o record_v the_o ordinary_a occurrence_n of_o every_o day_n but_o beside_o what_o he_o do_v every_o day_n he_o frequent_o set_v apart_o whole_a day_n with_o fast_v and_o prayer_n to_o examine_v and_o try_v the_o state_n of_o his_o soul_n part_n whereof_o he_o transcribe_v afterward_o though_o but_o a_o very_a little_a part_n which_o be_v here_o add_v as_o contain_v the_o character_n and_o trial_n of_o a_o real_a christian_a with_o the_o reason_n of_o his_o transcribe_v it_o and_o i_o be_o persuade_v he_o do_v it_o with_o great_a sincerity_n and_o humility_n the_o rather_o because_o when_o about_o a_o month_n or_o six_o week_n before_o his_o death_n he_o be_v under_o some_o darkness_n and_o cloud_n as_o to_o his_o evidence_n for_o heaven_n and_o apprehend_v his_o time_n on_o earth_n will_v be_v but_o short_a he_o desire_v to_o discourse_v with_o i_o more_o than_o once_o about_o the_o state_n of_o his_o soul_n which_o i_o shall_v always_o remember_v with_o thankfulness_n to_o god_n in_o order_n to_o my_o make_v the_o better_a judgement_n of_o his_o case_n he_o let_v i_o see_v some_o of_o those_o paper_n write_v many_o year_n before_o but_o send_v i_o a_o letter_n the_o next_o morning_n to_o recall_v they_o mention_v his_o great_a trouble_n after_o i_o be_v go_v lest_o what_o he_o have_v do_v savour_v of_o pride_n and_o ought_v rather_o to_o have_v be_v conceal_v such_o be_v the_o tenderness_n of_o his_o conscience_n in_o this_o and_o in_o every_o thing_n i_o shall_v say_v the_o less_o concern_v his_o examination_n of_o himself_o because_o you_o have_v here_o annex_v a_o short_a account_n of_o the_o manner_n of_o it_o the_o lawfulness_n of_o try_v ourselves_o by_o mark_n and_o sign_n of_o the_o truth_n of_o grace_n i_o hope_v will_v not_o be_v question_v when_o it_o be_v but_o to_o evidence_n the_o sincerity_n of_o our_o faith_n and_o repentance_n and_o holy_a obedience_n while_o we_o ascribe_v unto_o our_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n what_o belang_v to_o he_o as_o our_o great_a highpriest_n all_o that_o be_v do_v by_o christ_n without_o we_o in_o order_n to_o our_o salvation_n may_v and_o aught_o to_o be_v distinguish_v from_o what_o be_v do_v by_o the_o spirit_n of_o christ_n and_o his_o grace_n within_o we_o because_o there_o be_v a_o manifest_a difference_n between_o what_o cause_v our_o acceptance_n with_o god_n and_o that_o which_o be_v evidential_a of_o it_o in_o order_n to_o our_o own_o comfort_n his_o example_n in_o the_o strict_a observation_n of_o the_o lord_n day_n and_o conscientious_a faithfulness_n in_o his_o family-relation_n have_v be_v take_v notice_n of_o to_o the_o edification_n of_o many_o the_o
hope_v i_o desire_v to_o forsake_v all_o my_o sin_n now_o the_o scripture_n say_v 1_o joh._n 1._o 9_o if_o we_o confess_v our_o sin_n he_o be_v faithful_a and_o just_a to_o forgive_v we_o our_o sin_n and_o to_o cleanse_v we_o from_o all_o unrighteousness_n and_o prov._n 28._o 13._o whoso_o confess_v and_o forsake_v his_o sin_n shall_v have_v mercy_n i_o hope_v i_o do_v not_o allow_v myself_o in_o any_o sin_n but_o desire_v power_n against_o it_o as_o well_o as_o pardon_v of_o it_o yea_o the_o sin_n i_o be_o most_o incline_v to_o though_o my_o heart_n be_v often_o apt_a to_o go_v out_o after_o it_o the_o lord_n forgive_v it_o yet_o i_o hope_v it_o be_v my_o earnest_a desire_n that_o i_o may_v have_v strength_n against_o it_o the_o lord_n help_v i_o to_o say_v with_o david_n psal_n 18._o 23._o i_o be_v upright_o before_o he_o and_o keep_v myself_o from_o my_o iniquity_n i_o hope_v i_o desire_v from_o my_o soul_n to_o mourn_v for_o heart-sin_n as_o hardness_n and_o deadness_n and_o wander_n and_o distraction_n in_o duty_n etc._n etc._n i_o hope_v this_o be_v a_o good_a sign_n that_o i_o be_o if_o my_o heart_n deceive_v i_o not_o real_o trouble_v for_o secret_a sin_n which_o the_o world_n know_v nothing_o of_o and_o that_o i_o do_v not_o allow_v sinful_a thought_n i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o mourn_v for_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o land_n and_o to_o lay_v to_o heart_n the_o great_a dishonour_v do_v to_o god_n by_o other_o i_o hope_v there_o be_v a_o change_n wrought_v in_o i_o and_o that_o i_o be_o a_o new_a creature_n 2_o cor._n 5._o 17._o if_o i_o be_o a_o new_a creature_n than_o i_o be_o in_o christ_n i_o hope_v so_o because_o there_o be_v such_o strive_n and_o fight_n in_o i_o against_o sin_n such_o struggle_n between_o the_o flesh_n and_o the_o spirit_n there_o be_v certain_o a_o resist_n of_o sin_n if_o my_o heart_n do_v not_o wonderful_o deceive_v i_o now_o mr._n n._n use_v to_o say_v it_o be_v true_a grace_n to_o resist_v sin_n it_o be_v strong_a grace_n to_o conquer_v sin_n i_o consider_v how_o it_o be_v with_o paul_n rom._n 7._o he_o say_v there_o be_v a_o law_n in_o his_o member_n warring_n against_o the_o law_n of_o his_o mind_n and_o the_o evil_a that_o he_o will_v not_o do_v that_o he_o do_v methinks_v it_o be_v so_o with_o i_o sometime_o i_o hope_v this_o strive_v and_o struggle_v be_v a_o sign_n i_o be_o not_o dead_a in_o sin_n and_o trespass_n for_o a_o dead_a man_n strive_v not_o move_v not_o i_o beg_v of_o god_n often_o and_o hearty_o that_o i_o may_v be_v sincere_a and_o upright_a and_o hope_v i_o have_v from_o my_o heart_n many_o time_n pray_v with_o david_n that_o god_n will_v search_v i_o and_o try_v i_o in_o mercy_n and_o find_v out_o if_o there_o be_v any_o way_n of_o wickedness_n in_o i_o if_o there_o be_v any_o sin_n that_o lie_v hide_v in_o my_o soul_n and_o have_v be_v glad_a when_o minister_n have_v come_v to_o examination_n that_o so_o i_o may_v try_v myself_o especial_o in_o my_o young_a year_n when_o i_o hear_v mr._n n._n and_o use_v to_o try_v myself_o by_o character_n that_o he_o lay_v down_o and_o have_v then_o find_v comfort_n and_o great_a hope_n of_o a_o work_n of_o grace_n wrought_v in_o i_o and_o wonder_v how_o those_o that_o hear_v that_o soul-awakening_a minister_n can_v bear_v it_o if_o they_o do_v not_o find_v god_n have_v be_v at_o work_n in_o their_o soul_n i_o do_v remember_v when_o i_o be_v young_a what_o delight_n i_o take_v in_o hear_v that_o good_a man_n and_o have_v be_v as_o it_o be_v in_o a_o corner_n of_o heaven_n i_o have_v often_o have_v my_o heart_n quicken_v warm_v and_o much_o draw_v out_o to_o god_n now_o though_o to_o my_o shame_n i_o may_v write_v it_o i_o have_v abate_v much_o in_o my_o zeal_n and_o love_n to_o god_n and_o his_o way_n since_o i_o have_v have_v more_o to_o do_v with_o the_o world_n and_o a_o family_n to_o provide_v for_o yet_o i_o desire_v to_o remember_v the_o day_n of_o old_a the_o year_n of_o the_o right_a hand_n of_o the_o most_o high_a and_o hope_v i_o may_v take_v comfort_n from_o the_o experience_n i_o have_v have_v former_o remember_v where_o grace_n be_v once_o wrought_v it_o shall_v never_o be_v extinguish_v who_o christ_n love_v once_o he_o love_v to_o the_o end_n and_o that_o god_n never_o repent_v that_o he_o give_v grace_n to_o any_o i_o hope_v though_o by_o my_o sin_n i_o have_v cause_v the_o lord_n much_o to_o depart_v from_o i_o for_o many_o year_n that_o i_o do_v not_o meet_v with_o such_o quicken_a and_o comfort_n in_o duty_n as_o former_o yet_o that_o i_o do_v not_o content_v myself_o in_o this_o condition_n but_o desire_v to_o have_v my_o soul_n follow_v hard_o after_o god_n to_o lament_v after_o he_o and_o do_v i_o hope_v prize_v a_o smile_n from_o he_o and_o the_o light_n of_o his_o countenance_n above_o the_o whole_a world_n and_o do_v often_o pray_v with_o david_n psal_n 4._o when_o other_o say_v who_o will_v show_v we_o any_o good_a that_o god_n will_v lift_v up_o the_o light_n of_o his_o countenance_n upon_o i_o and_o i_o desire_v with_o the_o spouse_n to_o seek_v he_o who_o i_o hope_v i_o may_v say_v at_o least_o my_o soul_n desire_v to_o love_v i_o hope_v it_o be_v a_o good_a sign_n that_o i_o have_v frequent_a thought_n of_o god_n and_o do_v often_o lift_v up_o my_o heart_n to_o he_o as_o when_o i_o lie_v down_o at_o night_n and_o awake_v in_o the_o morning_n i_o desire_v my_o first_o and_o last_o thought_n may_v be_v with_o god_n i_o hope_v i_o may_v say_v with_o david_n i_o desire_v to_o set_v the_o lord_n always_o before_o i_o psal_n 16._o 8._o i_o hope_v i_o be_o desirous_a and_o willing_a to_o yield_v obedience_n to_o all_o the_o commandment_n of_o god_n and_o not_o to_o pick_v and_o choose_v i_o hope_v i_o will_v not_o allow_v myself_o in_o the_o omission_n of_o any_o duty_n now_o christ_n say_v you_o be_v my_o disciple_n if_o you_o do_v whatsoever_o i_o command_v you_o joh._n 15._o 14._o i_o hope_v i_o have_v from_o my_o heart_n pray_v many_o time_n that_o god_n will_v make_v know_v to_o i_o how_o i_o shall_v walk_v to_o please_v he_o i_o hope_v i_o desire_v patient_o to_o continue_v in_o well-doing_n and_o to_o wait_v upon_o god_n though_o i_o do_v not_o meet_v with_o he_o now_o there_o be_v a_o promise_n of_o blessedness_n to_o they_o that_o wait_v for_o he_o isa_n 30._o 18._o and_o the_o promise_n be_v rom._n 2._o 7._o to_o they_o who_o by_o patient_a continuance_n in_o well-doing_n seek_v for_o glory_n and_o honour_n and_o immortality_n that_o god_n will_v give_v eternal_a life_n i_o hope_v i_o desire_v my_o will_n may_v be_v according_a to_o god_n will_n and_o will_v do_v better_a than_o i_o do_v now_o if_o i_o be_o but_o real_o willing_a though_o i_o have_v many_o fail_n and_o fall_v infinite_o short_a yet_o it_o be_v say_v 2_o cor._n 8._o 12._o where_o there_o be_v a_o willing_a mind_n it_o be_v accept_v according_a to_o what_o a_o man_n have_v and_o not_o according_a to_o what_o he_o have_v not_o and_o our_o saviour_n speak_v gracious_o to_o his_o disciple_n when_o he_o find_v they_o asleep_o mat._n 26._o 41._o the_o spirit_n true_o be_v willing_a but_o the_o flesh_n be_v weak_a i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o be_v merciful_a to_o they_o who_o be_v in_o misery_n and_o have_v sometime_o be_v glad_a of_o a_o opportunity_n though_o the_o lord_n forgive_v too_o backward_o at_o other_o time_n now_o our_o lord_n say_v bless_a be_v the_o merciful_a for_o they_o shall_v obtain_v mercy_n mat._n 5._o 7._o i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o cleanse_v myself_o from_o all_o filthiness_n of_o flesh_n and_o spirit_n to_o have_v my_o heart_n purify_v now_o it_o be_v say_v bless_a be_v the_o pure_a in_o heart_n for_o they_o shall_v see_v god_n mat._n 5._o 8._o i_o hope_v i_o have_v count_v the_o cost_n what_o it_o may_v cost_v i_o to_o be_v a_o christian_a indeed_o and_o be_o full_o resolve_v in_o the_o strength_n of_o christ_n to_o let_v all_o go_v for_o he_o it_o be_v my_o desire_n and_o earnest_a prayer_n i_o hope_v from_o my_o very_a heart_n that_o if_o god_n call_v i_o to_o it_o i_o may_v be_v enable_v to_o lay_v down_o my_o life_n for_o his_o sake_n now_o christ_n say_v he_o that_o forsake_v house_n or_o brethren_n or_o sister_n or_o father_n or_o mother_n or_o wife_n or_o child_n or_o land_n for_o his_o name_n be_v sake_n shall_v receive_v a_o hundred-fold_n and_o inherit_v everlasting_a life_n mat._n 19_o 29._o and_o he_o that_o lose_v his_o life_n shall_v find_v it_o i_o hope_v i_o desire_v if_o i_o be_o call_v to_o it_o to_o
a_o title_n to_o heaven_n or_o that_o we_o have_v not_o but_o pass_v not_o this_o sentence_n with_o self-flattery_n nor_o from_o melancholy_a terror_n and_o fear_n one_a not_o with_o self-flattery_n alas_o what_o will_v it_o profit_v we_o to_o think_v ourselves_o the_o child_n of_o god_n when_o we_o visible_o express_v the_o power_n of_o sin_n and_o satan_n in_o our_o life_n two_o on_o the_o other_o side_n pass_v not_o this_o sentence_n from_o melancholy_a unbelief_n terror_n and_o fear_n as_o the_o carnal_a man_n fail_v the_o former_a way_n so_o the_o tempt_a christian_n sometime_o fail_v this_o way_n in_o this_o case_n run_v we_o over_o our_o evidence_n again_o and_o again_o and_o proceed_v we_o from_o those_o that_o be_v more_o difficult_a to_o those_o that_o be_v more_o easy_a one_o sign_n perhaps_o may_v be_v more_o easy_o perceive_v than_o another_o and_o if_o we_o can_v but_o discover_v some_o yea_o if_o but_o one_o we_o may_v assure_o gather_v all_o the_o rest_n be_v there_o come_v then_o pass_v on_o now_o to_o sentence_n o_o but_o implore_v the_o spirit_n be_v assistance_n now_o if_o ever_o let_v we_o desire_v he_o to_o shine_v on_o our_o grace_n and_o then_o speak_v ground_o and_o deliberate_o and_o true_o as_o we_o find_v according_a to_o our_o very_a conscience_n do_v not_o conclude_v as_o some_o do_v i_o be_o a_o good_a christian_a or_o as_o other_o do_v i_o be_o a_o reprobate_n or_o a_o hypocrite_n and_o shall_v be_v damn_v when_o we_o have_v no_o ground_n for_o what_o we_o say_v but_o our_o own_o fancy_n or_o hope_n or_o fear_n let_v not_o our_o judgement_n be_v any_o way_n biased_a or_o bribe_v from_o sentence_v aright_o then_o he_o further_o advise_v that_o we_o shall_v labour_v to_o get_v our_o heart_n kind_o affect_v with_o its_o discover_a condition_n according_a to_o the_o sentence_n pass_v on_o it_o do_v not_o think_v enough_o to_o know_v but_o labour_v to_o feel_v what_o god_n have_v make_v we_o to_o see_v if_o we_o find_v ourselves_o renew_v and_o sanctify_v indeed_o o_o let_v we_o get_v this_o warm_a and_o close_o to_o our_o heart_n bethink_v ourselves_o what_o a_o bless_a estate_n have_v the_o lord_n bring_v we_o into_o to_o be_v his_o child_n his_o friend_n to_o be_v pardon_v justify_v and_o entitle_v to_o life_n why_o what_o be_v it_o we_o now_o need_v to_o fear_v but_o sin_v against_o he_o come_v war_n or_o plague_n or_o sickness_n or_o death_n we_o be_v sure_o they_o can_v but_o thrust_v we_o into_o heaven_n thus_o let_v we_o follow_v these_o meditation_n till_o they_o have_v leave_v their_o impression_n on_o our_o heart_n then_o he_o advise_v to_o record_v this_o sentence_n so_o pass_v to_o write_v it_o down_o which_o now_o i_o desire_v to_o do_v this_o 18_o of_o august_n 1676._o have_v search_v and_o try_v my_o heart_n yesterday_o and_o at_o this_o time_n also_o after_o i_o hope_v earneft_v and_o hearty_a prayer_n to_o god_n for_o the_o help_n of_o his_o spirit_n to_o try_v my_o state_n and_o condition_n i_o do_v fall_v again_o to_o the_o work_n of_o self-trial_n by_o the_o forementioned_a particular_n and_o though_o i_o can_v full_o declare_v a_o positive_a answer_n to_o every_o question_n yet_o if_o my_o heart_n do_v not_o very_o much_o deceive_v i_o i_o can_v to_o most_o of_o they_o i_o hope_v i_o can_v i_o beg_v of_o god_n i_o may_v not_o be_v deceive_v it_o be_v some_o comfort_n to_o i_o where_o i_o can_v so_o full_o answer_v some_o of_o they_o i_o hope_v i_o can_v true_o say_v i_o most_o hearty_o desire_v it_o may_v be_v so_o with_o i_o and_o though_o grace_n be_v very_o weak_a in_o i_o which_o i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o be_v humble_v and_o mourn_v for_o yet_o i_o dare_v not_o deny_v god_n work_n in_o i_o i_o must_v not_o deny_v the_o day_n of_o small-thing_n but_o to_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n must_v own_v sure_o there_o be_v something_o of_o good_a wrought_v in_o i_o by_o his_o holy_a spirit_n and_o my_o comfort_n be_v christ_n will_v not_o quench_v the_o smoke_a flax_n nor_o break_v the_o bruise_a reed_n mat._n 12._o 20._o i_o be_o not_o now_o affect_v with_o the_o discovery_n of_o my_o condition_n as_o i_o shall_v and_o do_v not_o find_v at_o present_a inward_a comfort_n in_o my_o soul_n i_o be_o and_o have_v be_v much_o under_o the_o withdrawing_n of_o god_n for_o a_o time_n by_o reason_n of_o my_o apostasy_n and_o backslide_n from_o he_o and_o not_o walk_v close_o with_o he_o yet_o i_o desire_v i_o hope_v to_o lament_v after_o the_o lord_n and_o not_o content_v myself_o till_o i_o again_o meet_v with_o he_o the_o lord_n give_v i_o grace_n to_o wait_v on_o he_o in_o a_o way_n of_o duty_n and_o to_o act_v grace_n though_o i_o want_v comfort_n o_o if_o i_o be_o but_o sincere_a and_o wait_v still_o upon_o god_n who_o can_v tell_v but_o he_o may_v return_v with_o comfort_n to_o my_o poor_a soul_n the_o lord_n help_v i_o to_o maintain_v faith_n and_o hop_v through_o christ_n though_o i_o sit_v in_o darkness_n and_o see_v no_o light_n yet_o to_o trust_v in_o the_o lord_n and_o stay_v myself_o on_o my_o god_n isa_n 50._o 10._o the_o lord_n help_v i_o now_o to_o walk_v answerable_a to_o the_o great_a thing_n he_o have_v do_v for_o my_o poor_a soul_n i_o desire_v and_o hope_v i_o may_v have_v recourse_n to_o this_o hereafter_o as_o i_o shall_v have_v need_n and_o that_o it_o may_v be_v of_o comfort_n to_o i_o for_o the_o time_n to_o come_v as_o mr._n ambrose_n advise_v his_o word_n be_v this_o record_n will_v be_v very_o useful_a to_o we_o hereafter_o if_o we_o find_v we_o have_v a_o work_n of_o grace_n in_o we_o what_o a_o help_n will_v it_o be_v against_o the_o next_o temptation_n to_o doubt_v and_o fear_n to_o go_v and_o read_v under_o our_o hand_n this_o record_n may_v we_o not_o think_v if_o at_o such_o a_o time_n i_o find_v the_o truth_n of_o grace_n be_v it_o not_o likely_a to_o be_v now_o the_o same_o and_o these_o doubt_n to_o come_v from_o the_o enemy_n of_o my_o peace_n yet_o trust_v not_o so_o to_o one_o discovery_n as_o to_o try_v no_o more_o especial_o if_o we_o have_v make_v any_o soul_n defection_n from_o christ_n and_o play_v the_o backslider_n see_v then_o that_o we_o renew_v the_o search_n again_o neither_o let_v this_o hinder_v we_o in_o the_o daily_a search_n of_o our_o way_n or_o of_o our_o increase_n in_o grace_n and_o fellowship_n with_o christ_n it_o be_v a_o ill_a sign_n and_o a_o desperate_a vile_a sin_n for_o a_o man_n when_o he_o think_v he_o have_v find_v himself_o gracious_a and_o in_o a_o happy_a state_n to_o let_v down_o his_o watch_n and_o grow_v negligent_a of_o his_o heart_n and_o way_n and_o scarce_o look_v after_o they_o any_o more_o neither_o shall_v we_o give_v over_o in_o discouragement_n if_o we_o can_v at_o once_o or_o twice_o or_o ten_o time_n try_v discover_v our_o case_n but_o follow_v it_o on_o till_o we_o have_v discover_v it_o if_o one_o hour_n or_o day_n will_v not_o do_v take_v another_o if_o one_o minister_n can_v direct_v we_o sufficient_o go_v to_o another_o the_o issue_n will_v answer_v all_o our_o pain_n there_o be_v no_o sit_v down_o discourage_v in_o a_o work_n that_o must_v be_v do_v if_o we_o have_v be_v hypocrite_n or_o ungodly_a person_n all_o our_o life_n yet_o be_v the_o promise_v offer_v to_o we_o by_o christ_n and_o he_o tender_v himself_o to_o we_o to_o be_v our_o lord_n and_o saviour_n neither_o can_v we_o possible_o be_v so_o willing_a to_o accept_v he_o as_o he_o be_v to_o accept_v we_o nothing_o but_o our_o own_o unwillingness_n can_v keep_v our_o soul_n from_o christ_n though_o we_o have_v hitherto_o abuse_v he_o and_o dissemble_v with_o he_o o_o that_o the_o lord_n will_v persuade_v we_o to_o the_o close_a performance_n of_o this_o self-trying_a task_n that_o we_o may_v not_o tremble_v with_o horror_n of_o soul_n when_o the_o judge_n of_o all_o the_o world_n shall_v try_v we_o but_o have_v our_o evidence_n so_o ready_a at_o hand_n and_o be_v so_o able_a to_o prove_v our_o title_n to_o heaven_n that_o the_o thought_n and_o approach_v of_o death_n and_o judgement_n may_v revive_v our_o spirit_n and_o fill_v we_o with_o joy_n and_o not_o apale_fw-la we_o and_o fill_v we_o with_o amazement_n september_n the_o 19_o 1676._o find_v my_o heart_n very_o hard_a and_o dead_a of_o late_a and_o be_v still_o under_o the_o withdrawing_n of_o god_n but_o i_o bless_v god_n i_o hope_v sensible_a of_o it_o and_o desirous_a to_o wait_v upon_o he_o for_o discovery_n of_o his_o love_n and_o favour_n and_o to_o lament_v after_o he_o and_o seek_v he_o in_o his_o ordinance_n for_o i_o hope_v i_o can_v take_v up_o with_o duty_n without_o something_o
will_v go_v mourning_n in_o this_o world_n while_o i_o have_v a_o day_n to_o live_v till_o christ_n shall_v please_v to_o cast_v a_o eye_n of_o grace_n and_o mercy_n on_o i_o nay_o let_v it_o come_v to_o this_o i_o can_v live_v if_o god_n be_v not_o reconcile_v if_o christ_n be_v not_o i_o my_o spirit_n fail_v if_o the_o lord_n do_v not_o relieve_v i_o there_o be_v nothing_o no_o abide_n for_o i_o unless_o he_o speak_v a_o word_n of_o peace_n when_o the_o soul_n be_v bring_v to_o this_o i_o must_v have_v a_o interest_n in_o christ_n or_o nothing_o will_v satisfy_v i_o such_o a_o one_o shall_v find_v acceptance_n therefore_o be_v in_o good_a earnest_n and_o let_v the_o desire_n of_o the_o soul_n rise_v up_o to_o a_o holy_a restlessness_n o_o wretched_a negligence_n that_o we_o can_v let_v the_o great_a concern_v of_o our_o soul_n lie_v at_o hazard_n all_o our_o day_n ten_o question_n to_o ask_v our_o heart_n thus_o mr._n steel_v advise_v we_o shall_v often_o commune_v with_o our_o heart_n i._o what_o have_v i_o be_v if_o now_o i_o be_o change_v i_o be_v a_o wretched_a sinner_n ii_o what_o good_a have_v i_o do_v that_o god_n may_v have_v the_o glory_n and_o i_o the_o comfort_n iii_o how_o have_v i_o do_v it_o iu._n what_o have_v i_o neglect_v the_o slothful_a servant_n be_v condemn_v who_o have_v talent_n but_o do_v no_o good_a with_o they_o what_o duty_n have_v i_o neglect_v and_o how_o many_o opportunity_n of_o do_v good_a omit_v v._o what_o state_n be_o i_o in_o be_o i_o in_o a_o gracious_a or_o sinful_a state_n in_o christ_n or_o in_o my_o sin_n if_o i_o be_o in_o christ_n he_o rule_v if_o in_o sin_n that_o reign_v vi_o what_o frame_n be_o i_o in_o be_o i_o in_o a_o gracious_a or_o worldly_a frame_n of_o heart_n vii_o what_o do_v i_o be_o i_o in_o my_o call_v and_o in_o the_o way_n of_o my_o duty_n be_o i_o now_o do_v the_o will_n of_o god_n viii_o whither_o be_o i_o go_v towards_o heaven_n or_o hell_n every_o moment_n i_o take_v a_o step_n to_o one_o of_o they_o ix_o how_o far_o be_o i_o on_o my_o way_n to_o heaven_n x._o what_o shall_v i_o do_v to_o be_v save_v salvation_n be_v to_o be_v have_v how_o shall_v i_o attain_v it_o his_o covenant_n with_o god_n o_o most_o dreadful_a god_n for_o the_o passion_n of_o thy_o son_n i_o beseech_v thou_o accept_v of_o thy_o poor_a prodigal_n now_o prostrate_v himself_o at_o thy_o door_n i_o have_v fall_v from_o thou_o by_o my_o iniquiry_n and_o be_o by_o nature_n a_o son_n of_o death_n 〈◊〉_d a_o thousand-fold_n more_o the_o child_n of_o hell_n by_o 〈◊〉_d wicked_a practice_n but_o of_o thy_o infinite_a grace_n thou_o have_v promise_v mercy_n to_o i_o in_o christ_n if_o i_o will_v but_o turn_v to_o thou_o with_o all_o my_o heart_n therefore_o upon_o the_o call_v of_o thy_o gospel_n i_o be_o now_o come_v in_o and_o throw_v down_o my_o weapon_n submit_v myself_o to_o thy_o mercy_n and_o because_o thou_o require_v as_o the_o condition_n of_o my_o peace_n with_o thou_o that_o i_o shall_v put_v away_o my_o idol_n and_o be_v at_o defiance_n with_o all_o thy_o enemy_n which_o i_o acknowledge_v i_o have_v wicked_o side_v with_o against_o thou_o i_o here_o from_o the_o bottom_n of_o my_o heart_n renounce_v they_o all_o firm_o covenant_v with_o thou_o not_o to_o allow_v myself_o in_o any_o know_a sin_n but_o to_o use_v conscientious_o all_o the_o mean_n that_o i_o know_v thou_o have_v prescribe_v for_o the_o death_n and_o utter_a destruction_n of_o all_o my_o corruption_n and_o whereas_o i_o have_v former_o inordinate_o and_o idolatrous_o let_v out_o my_o affection_n upon_o the_o world_n i_o do_v here_o resign_v my_o heart_n to_o thou_o that_o make_v it_o humble_o protest_v before_o thy_o glorious_a majesty_n that_o it_o be_v the_o firm_a resolution_n of_o my_o heart_n and_o that_o i_o do_v unfeigned_o desire_v grace_n from_o thou_o that_o when_o thou_o shall_v call_v i_o hereunto_o i_o may_v practice_v this_o my_o resolution_n through_o thy_o assistance_n to_o forsake_v all_o that_o be_v dear_a unto_o i_o in_o this_o world_n rather_o than_o to_o turn_v from_o thou_o to_o the_o way_n of_o sin_n and_o that_o i_o will_v watch_v against_o all_o its_o temptation_n whether_o of_o prosperity_n or_o adversity_n lest_o they_o shall_v withdraw_v my_o heart_n from_o thou_o beseech_v thou_o also_o to_o help_v i_o against_o the_o temptation_n of_o satan_n to_o who_o wicked_a suggestion_n i_o resolve_v by_o thy_o grace_n never_o to_o yield_v myself_o a_o servant_n and_o because_o my_o own_o righteousness_n be_v but_o menstruous_a rag_n i_o renounce_v all_o confidence_n therein_o and_o acknowledge_v that_o i_o be_o of_o myself_o a_o hopeless_a helpless_a undo_v creature_n without_o righteousness_n or_o strength_n and_o for_o as_o much_o as_o thou_o have_v of_o thy_o bottomless_a mercy_n offer_v most_o gracious_o to_o i_o wretched_a sinner_n to_o be_v again_o my_o god_n through_o christ_n if_o i_o will_v accept_v of_o thou_o i_o call_v heaven_n and_o earth_n to_o record_v this_o day_n that_o i_o do_v here_o solemn_o avouch_v thou_o for_o the_o lord_n my_o god_n and_o with_o all_o possible_a veneration_n bow_v the_o neck_n of_o my_o soul_n under_o the_o foot_n of_o thy_o most_o sacred_a majesty_n i_o do_v here_o take_v thou_o the_o lord_n jehovah_n father_n son_n and_o holy_a ghost_n for_o my_o portion_n and_o chief_a good_a and_o do_v give_v up_o myself_o body_n and_o soul_n for_o thy_o servant_n promise_v and_o vow_v to_o serve_v thou_o in_o holiness_n and_o righteousness_n all_o the_o day_n of_o my_o life_n and_o since_o thou_o have_v appoint_v the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n the_o only_a mean_n of_o come_v unto_o thou_o i_o do_v here_o upon_o the_o bend_a knee_n of_o my_o soul_n accept_v of_o he_o as_o the_o only_a new_a and_o live_a way_n by_o which_o sinner_n may_v have_v access_n to_o thou_o and_o do_v here_o solemn_o join_v myself_o in_o a_o marriage-covenant_n to_o he_o o_o bless_a jesus_n i_o come_v to_o thou_o hungry_a and_o hardly_o bestead_v poor_a and_o wretched_a and_o miserable_a and_o blind_a and_o naked_a a_o most_o loathsome_a pollute_a wretch_n a_o guilty_a condemn_a malefactor_n unworthy_a for_o ever_o to_o wash_v the_o foot_n of_o the_o servant_n of_o my_o lord_n much_o more_o to_o be_v solemn_o marry_v to_o the_o king_n of_o glory_n but_o since_o such_o be_v thy_o unparalleled_a love_n i_o do_v here_o with_o all_o my_o power_n accept_v thou_o and_o do_v take_v thou_o for_o my_o head_n and_o husband_n for_o better_a for_o worse_o for_o rich_a for_o poor_a for_o all_o time_n and_o condition_n to_o love_v and_o honour_n and_o obey_v thou_o before_o all_o other_o and_o this_o to_o the_o death_n i_o embrace_v thou_o in_o all_o thy_o office_n i_o renounce_v my_o own_o worthiness_n and_o do_v here_o avow_v thou_o for_o the_o lord_n my_o righteousness_n i_o renounce_v my_o own_o wisdom_n and_o do_v here_o take_v thou_o for_o my_o only_a guide_n i_o renounce_v my_o own_o will_n and_o take_v thy_o will_n for_o my_o law_n and_o since_o thou_o have_v tell_v i_o that_o i_o must_v suffer_v if_o i_o will_v reign_v i_o do_v here_o covenant_n with_o thou_o to_o take_v my_o lot_n as_o it_o fall_v with_o thou_o and_o by_o thy_o grace_n assist_v to_o run_v all_o hazard_n with_o thou_o very_o purpose_v that_o neither_o life_n nor_o death_n shall_v part_v between_o thou_o and_o i_o and_o because_o thou_o have_v be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o thy_o holy_a law_n as_o the_o rule_n of_o my_o life_n and_o the_o way_n in_o which_o i_o shall_v walk_v to_o thy_o kingdom_n i_o do_v here_o willing_o put_v my_o neck_n under_o thy_o yoke_n and_o set_v my_o shoulder_n to_o thy_o burden_n and_o subscribe_v to_o all_o thy_o law_n as_o holy_a just_a and_o good_a i_o solemn_o take_v they_o as_o the_o rule_n of_o my_o word_n thought_n and_o action_n promise_v that_o though_o my_o flesh_n contradict_v and_o rebel_v yet_o i_o will_v endeavour_v to_o order_n and_o govern_v my_o whole_a life_n according_a to_o thy_o direction_n and_o will_v not_o allow_v myself_o in_o the_o neglect_n of_o any_o thing_n that_o i_o know_v to_o be_v my_o duty_n only_o because_o through_o the_o frailty_n of_o my_o flesh_n i_o be_o subject_a to_o many_o fail_n i_o be_o bold_a humble_o to_o protest_v that_o unallow_v miscarriage_n contrary_a to_o the_o settle_a bent_n and_o resolution_n of_o my_o heart_n shall_v not_o make_v void_a this_o covenant_n for_o so_o thou_o have_v say_v now_o almighty_a god_n searcher_n of_o all_o heart_n thou_o know_v that_o i_o make_v this_o covenant_n with_o thou_o this_o day_n without_o any_o know_a guile_n or_o reservation_n beseech_v thou_o that_o if_o thou_o espie_v any_o flaw_n
have_v certain_o be_v foil_v if_o god_n by_o his_o omnipotent_a grace_n have_v not_o support_v and_o deliver_v i_o when_o satan_n see_v i_o first_o set_v my_o face_n towards_o heaven_n he_o employ_v all_o his_o skill_n and_o diligence_n to_o hinder_v it_o former_o he_o have_v tell_v i_o i_o need_v not_o repent_v because_o i_o be_v not_o guilty_a of_o gross_a sin_n but_o now_o he_o see_v that_o i_o be_v sensible_a of_o my_o vileness_n and_o sinfulness_n by_o nature_n and_o life_n he_o see_v that_o sin_n be_v my_o burden_n and_o that_o i_o be_v convince_v that_o i_o must_v repent_v or_o perish_v he_o leave_v off_o this_o temptation_n and_o tell_v i_o it_o be_v too_o soon_o to_o repent_v yet_o that_o i_o be_v young_a and_o may_v live_v many_o year_n and_o take_v my_o pleasure_n that_o i_o may_v repent_v when_o i_o be_v old_a or_o upon_o a_o sick_a bed_n to_o that_o end_n he_o suggest_v to_o i_o that_o the_o life_n of_o a_o christian_a be_v a_o sad_a uncomfortable_a life_n that_o if_o i_o enter_v upon_o this_o course_n i_o must_v bid_v farewell_n to_o all_o mirth_n and_o pleasure_n and_o spend_v my_o day_n in_o sorrow_n but_o then_o i_o begin_v to_o think_v with_o myself_o that_o it_o be_v better_a to_o do_v so_o than_o lie_v down_o in_o hell-torment_n to_o all_o eternity_n when_o satan_n see_v that_o he_o can_v not_o prevail_v in_o this_o temptation_n he_o find_v out_o another_o he_o go_v about_o to_o persuade_v i_o that_o if_o i_o begin_v to_o walk_v in_o the_o way_n of_o god_n and_o do_v hold_v out_o a_o little_a way_n it_o be_v a_o thousand_o to_o one_o if_o i_o hold_v out_o to_o the_o end_n i_o shall_v certain_o fall_v away_o and_o turn_v apostate_n and_o this_o be_v the_o worst_a condition_n of_o all_o to_o return_v with_o the_o dog_n to_o the_o vomit_n etc._n etc._n he_o bring_v that_o scripture_n to_o my_o mind_n if_o after_o we_o have_v escape_v the_o pollution_n of_o the_o world_n we_o be_v again_o entangle_v therein_o the_o latter_a end_n be_v worse_a than_o the_o beginning_n for_o it_o have_v be_v better_a not_o to_o have_v know_v the_o way_n of_o righteousness_n than_o after_o we_o have_v know_v it_o to_o turn_v from_o it_o he_o follow_v i_o with_o this_o temptation_n but_o it_o please_v god_n by_o his_o spirit_n to_o enable_v i_o in_o some_o measure_n to_o resist_v it_o and_o repel_v it_o for_o i_o be_v persuade_v if_o god_n have_v begin_v a_o good_a work_n of_o grace_n in_o i_o he_o be_v able_a to_o carry_v it_o on_o and_o to_o keep_v i_o from_o fall_v away_o though_o at_o that_o time_n i_o be_v not_o acquaint_v with_o those_o scripture_n that_o prove_v the_o perseverance_n of_o the_o saint_n thus_o be_v i_o trouble_v and_o toss_v with_o various_a temptation_n and_o no_o soon_o rid_v of_o one_o but_o another_o come_v i_o hear_v a_o sermon_n upon_o matth._n 13._o 45._o the_o kingdom_n of_o heaven_n be_v like_o a_o merchantman_n seek_v goodly_a pearl_n who_o when_o he_o have_v find_v one_o of_o great_a price_n go_v and_o sell_v all_o that_o he_o have_v to_o buy_v it_o i_o receive_v much_o light_n and_o comfort_n from_o this_o sermon_n and_o see_v more_o of_o the_o transcendent_a excellency_n of_o jesus_n christ_n who_o be_v the_o pearl_n of_o price_n and_o i_o think_v i_o can_v most_o willing_o part_v with_o all_o even_o life_n itself_o for_o he_o then_o he_o tempt_v i_o to_o question_v the_o truth_n of_o the_o holy_a scripture_n and_o i_o be_v put_v upon_o it_o to_o prove_v they_o to_o be_v the_o word_n of_o god_n this_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o do_v therefore_o this_o temptation_n be_v the_o long_a upon_o i_o and_o i_o be_v much_o perplex_v about_o it_o and_o have_v the_o devil_n prevail_v with_o this_o he_o need_v not_o have_v follow_v i_o with_o any_o other_o temptation_n when_o this_o be_v a_o little_a over_o he_o come_v like_o a_o roar_a lion_n ready_a to_o devour_v i_o not_o as_o a_o angel_n of_o light_n but_o show_v himself_o in_o his_o own_o colour_n like_o a_o devil_n he_o assault_v i_o with_o the_o most_o horrid_a atheistical_a and_o blasphemous_a temptation_n that_o be_v possible_a for_o he_o to_o invent_v he_o strike_v deep_a and_o go_v about_o to_o destroy_v the_o foundation_n of_o all_o religion_n he_o tempt_v i_o to_o that_o which_o i_o be_o ashamed_a to_o think_v of_o and_o even_o tremble_v to_o mention_v even_o to_o believe_v there_o be_v no_o god_n nor_o devil_n heaven_n nor_o hell_n though_o i_o do_v not_o believe_v his_o temptation_n nor_o willing_o entertain_v it_o yet_o can_v i_o by_o no_o mean_n be_v rid_v of_o it_o it_o come_v very_o strong_a upon_o i_o follow_v i_o from_o bed_n to_o board_n and_o though_o i_o be_v terrify_v with_o the_o thought_n of_o it_o i_o can_v not_o put_v it_o out_o of_o my_o mind_n and_o i_o be_v in_o great_a perplexity_n of_o spirit_n but_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v secret_o to_o preserve_v i_o and_o support_v i_o under_o these_o grievous_a assault_n and_o in_o some_o measure_n to_o repel_v they_o but_o behold_v the_o policy_n of_o satan_n though_o this_o temptation_n do_v not_o prevail_v it_o make_v way_n for_o another_o which_o present_o follow_v for_o he_o who_o have_v tempt_v i_o to_o have_v such_o horrid_a atheistical_a thought_n now_o begin_v to_o terrify_v i_o for_o they_o he_o set_v sin_n before_o i_o in_o its_o aggravation_n and_o tell_v i_o that_o now_o i_o be_v worse_a than_o the_o very_a devil_n for_o they_o believe_v that_o there_o be_v a_o god_n and_o tremble_v therefore_o i_o then_o think_v i_o shall_v certain_o be_v damn_v that_o i_o be_v past_o all_o hope_n of_o salvation_n i_o look_v upon_o myself_o as_o ripe_a for_o damnation_n and_o ready_a for_o hell-torment_n he_o have_v often_o tell_v i_o it_o be_v too_o soon_o to_o repent_v now_o he_o tell_v i_o it_o be_v too_o late_o many_o scripture_n threaten_n be_v bring_v to_o my_o mind_n that_o do_v exceed_o terrify_v i_o as_o that_o in_o isaiah_n there_o be_v no_o peace_n say_v my_o god_n to_o the_o wicked_a and_o that_o the_o wicked_a shall_v be_v turn_v into_o hell_n and_o all_o the_o nation_n that_o forget_v god_n as_o i_o know_v i_o have_v do_v of_o a_o long_a time_n likewise_o psal_n 50._o 22._o and_o prov._n 1._o 24._o to_o the_o end_n when_o i_o go_v about_o to_o read_v the_o scripture_n than_o that_o place_n come_v to_o my_o mind_n what_o have_v thou_o to_o do_v to_o declare_v my_o statute_n or_o to_o take_v my_o covenant_n into_o thy_o mouth_n psal_n 50._o 16._o when_o i_o have_v thought_n of_o pray_v to_o the_o lord_n for_o grace_n that_o scripture_n come_v fresh_a into_o my_o mind_n the_o prayer_n of_o the_o wicked_a be_v a_o abomination_n these_o with_o many_o other_o scripture_n do_v affright_v and_o terrify_v i_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v i_o see_v myself_o utter_o undo_v without_o a_o interest_n in_o christ_n and_o yet_o i_o dare_v not_o lay_v hold_n on_o he_o for_o salvation_n i_o can_v express_v the_o sorrow_n of_o my_o mind_n under_o these_o strong_a conviction_n and_o various_a temptation_n my_o heart_n be_v fill_v with_o horror_n and_o terror_n day_n and_o night_n for_o some_o week_n together_o o_o the_o depth_n of_o satan_n wiles_n he_o that_o have_v lead_v i_o along_o all_o my_o day_n in_o presumption_n now_o he_o go_v about_o to_o drive_v i_o to_o despair_n how_o hard_o a_o thing_n be_v it_o to_o keep_v between_o these_o two_o extreme_n have_v not_o god_n uphold_v i_o by_o his_o power_n and_o mercy_n i_o have_v certain_o be_v dash_v in_o piece_n between_o these_o two_o rock_n satan_n have_v tempt_v i_o to_o think_v i_o have_v commit_v the_o sin_n against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n by_o my_o atheistical_a and_o blasphemous_a thought_n and_o because_o i_o sin_v against_o so_o much_o light_n this_o be_v a_o great_a and_o sore_o trouble_v to_o i_o and_o a_o heavy_a burden_n upon_o my_o conscience_n this_o scripture_n do_v much_o terrify_v i_o repentance_n be_v hide_v from_o thy_o eye_n and_o another_o he_o that_o believe_v not_o be_v condemn_v already_o and_o the_o wrath_n of_o god_n abide_v on_o he_o i_o look_v upon_o all_o the_o threaten_n as_o speak_v to_o i_o every_o thing_n add_v to_o my_o sorrow_n when_o i_o read_v the_o promise_n they_o administer_v no_o comfort_n to_o i_o but_o rather_o terror_n because_o i_o think_v i_o have_v no_o right_n to_o they_o or_o to_o those_o thing_n they_o assure_v we_o of_o when_o i_o hear_v of_o the_o joy_n of_o heaven_n and_o of_o the_o glory_n of_o it_o it_o increase_v my_o trouble_n to_o think_v there_o shall_v be_v so_o much_o happiness_n and_o i_o have_v no_o share_n in_o it_o but_o must_v be_v banish_v from_o god_n and_o
happiness_n for_o ever_o and_o when_o i_o think_v of_o the_o torment_n of_o hell_n the_o fire_n that_o must_v never_o go_v out_o and_o the_o worm_n that_o shall_v never_o die_v this_o i_o look_v upon_o as_o the_o due_a desert_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o as_o my_o portion_n i_o have_v renounce_v all_o my_o own_o righteousness_n i_o can_v see_v nothing_o in_o myself_o but_o what_o deserve_a hell_n i_o wonder_v at_o the_o patience_n of_o god_n to_o i_o i_o can_v justify_v he_o though_o he_o shall_v damn_v i_o i_o think_v myself_o unworthy_a to_o eat_v or_o drink_v or_o breathe_v or_o tread_v upon_o the_o earth_n i_o look_v every_o day_n when_o god_n will_v glorify_v himself_o in_o my_o damnation_n but_o this_o i_o keep_v to_o myself_o though_o other_o can_v not_o but_o take_v notice_n of_o the_o sadness_n of_o my_o spirit_n and_o wonder_v at_o it_o yet_o i_o do_v not_o tell_v any_o how_o it_o be_v with_o i_o my_o heart_n be_v very_o full_a and_o i_o long_v to_o vent_v it_o but_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o god_n i_o dare_v not_o go_v be_v conscious_a of_o my_o own_o vileness_n i_o be_v ashamed_a to_o make_v know_v my_o condition_n to_o man_n it_o be_v so_o bad_a i_o think_v none_o ever_o have_v such_o blasphemous_a thought_n as_o i_o have_v i_o wish_v some_o of_o the_o saint_n do_v know_v my_o condition_n that_o they_o may_v direct_v i_o and_o pray_v for_o i_o but_o i_o can_v not_o tell_v to_o who_o to_o apply_v myself_o thus_o be_v i_o in_o perplexity_n toss_v to_o and_o fro_o and_o not_o comfort_v and_o though_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o uphold_v i_o and_o keep_v i_o from_o fall_v into_o the_o pit_n of_o despair_n yet_o i_o be_v very_o near_o it_o i_o be_v encompass_v about_o with_o so_o many_o and_o great_a temptation_n and_o they_o come_v so_o strong_a upon_o i_o that_o i_o can_v not_o hold_v out_o any_o long_a to_o conceal_v my_o trouble_n then_o the_o lord_n put_v it_o into_o my_o mind_n to_o acquaint_v my_o uncle_n gearing_n with_o my_o sad_a condition_n but_o the_o devil_n endeavour_v all_o he_o can_v to_o hinder_v it_o by_o persuade_v i_o that_o it_o be_v a_o foolish_a thing_n to_o declare_v my_o wickedness_n to_o one_o that_o be_v so_o holy_a that_o i_o shall_v but_o purchase_v his_o ill_a opinion_n of_o i_o and_o cause_v he_o to_o hate_v and_o abhor_v i_o and_o do_v myself_o no_o good_a at_o all_o by_o tell_v he_o of_o it_o yet_o still_o i_o have_v a_o desire_n to_o do_v it_o and_o i_o have_v no_o rest_n in_o my_o spirit_n till_o i_o have_v do_v it_o but_o sometime_o i_o want_v a_o opportunity_n and_o sometime_o when_o i_o will_v have_v speak_v i_o can_v not_o but_o at_o last_o a_o fit_a opportunity_n be_v present_v upon_o a_o sabbath-day_n night_n all_o be_v in_o bed_n except_o my_o uncle_n and_o myself_o i_o be_v resolve_v to_o open_v my_o heart_n free_o to_o he_o when_o i_o begin_v to_o speak_v my_o mouth_n be_v as_o it_o be_v stop_v but_o with_o tremble_v i_o force_v myself_o to_o speak_v and_o make_v know_v my_o sad_a condition_n i_o tell_v he_o what_o grievous_a blasphemous_a thought_n i_o have_v and_o that_o i_o be_v afraid_a i_o have_v commit_v the_o sin_n against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n and_o think_v therefore_o i_o shall_v certain_o be_v damn_v and_o have_v no_o hope_n of_o salvation_n but_o i_o desire_v his_o prayer_n for_o i_o and_o his_o advice_n in_o a_o matter_n of_o such_o consequence_n it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o affect_v his_o heart_n with_o my_o condition_n he_o tell_v i_o it_o be_v not_o my_o sin_n to_o be_v tempt_v if_o i_o do_v not_o yield_v to_o the_o temptation_n and_o therefore_o it_o shall_v not_o drive_v i_o to_o despair_v of_o god_n mercy_n he_o say_v it_o be_v a_o sign_n i_o have_v not_o commit_v the_o sin_n against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n because_o i_o be_v afraid_a i_o have_v commit_v it_o he_o speak_v much_o of_o the_o gracious_a nature_n of_o god_n and_o of_o his_o willingness_n to_o save_v sinner_n and_o as_o i_o remember_v he_o tell_v i_o of_o many_o and_o great_a sinner_n in_o scripture_n to_o who_o god_n have_v show_v mercy_n as_o manasseh_n and_o mary_n magdalen_n and_o the_o thief_n upon_o the_o cross_n he_o also_o direct_v i_o to_o many_o sweet_a promise_n in_o scripture_n but_o that_o especial_o which_o be_v never_o to_o be_v forget_v ezek._n 36._o 25_o 26._o then_o will_v i_o sprinkle_v clean_a water_n upon_o you_o and_o you_o shall_v be_v clean_o from_o all_o your_o filthiness_n and_o from_o all_o your_o idol_n will_v i_o cleanse_v you_o a_o new_a heart_n also_o will_v i_o give_v you_o and_o a_o new_a spirit_n will_v i_o put_v within_o you_o etc._n etc._n he_o tell_v i_o every_o one_o may_v lay_v hold_n on_o this_o promise_n when_o he_o read_v these_o scripture_n to_o i_o my_o heart_n rejoice_v and_o i_o begin_v to_o hope_n god_n will_v pardon_v i_o and_o give_v i_o a_o new_a heart_n and_o cause_v i_o to_o walk_v in_o his_o way_n he_o also_o give_v i_o very_o good_a counsel_n particular_o to_o be_v constant_a in_o the_o excellent_a duty_n of_o secret_a prayer_n and_o tell_v i_o the_o great_a benefit_n i_o shall_v find_v thereby_o etc._n etc._n now_o have_v make_v know_v my_o condition_n and_o declare_v my_o trouble_n and_o hear_v these_o gracious_a promise_n to_o poor_a sinner_n i_o find_v some_o ease_n and_o satisfaction_n in_o my_o mind_n and_o the_o beginning_n of_o comfort_n in_o my_o soul_n i_o resolve_v to_o put_v these_o duty_n in_o practice_n secret_a prayer_n self-examination_n meditation_n etc._n etc._n but_o i_o be_v altogether_o a_o stranger_n to_o these_o inward_a heart-duty_n i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o perform_v they_o as_o i_o ought_v how_o many_o time_n have_v i_o kneel_v down_o to_o pray_v and_o know_v not_o what_o to_o say_v but_o want_v not_o sigh_n and_o tear_n and_o so_o my_o necessity_n and_o the_o sense_n of_o my_o vileness_n my_o earnest_n desire_v after_o christ_n and_o his_o grace_n put_v word_n into_o my_o mouth_n though_o my_o duty_n be_v miserable_o lame_a and_o defective_a yet_o they_o be_v perform_v with_o much_o earnestness_n and_o importunity_n and_o i_o think_v i_o may_v say_v in_o sincerity_n sure_o then_o my_o heart_n be_v in_o every_o word_n and_o in_o every_o duty_n i_o do_v not_o then_o dally_v with_o god_n i_o be_v in_o good_a earnest_n for_o my_o soul_n and_o that_o promise_v be_v comfortable_a to_o i_o if_o there_o be_v first_o a_o willing_a mind_n it_o be_v accept_v with_o god_n etc._n etc._n i_o find_v that_o scripture_n make_v good_a to_o i_o then_o shall_v we_o know_v if_o we_o follow_v on_o to_o know_v the_o lord_n and_o that_o in_o isa_n 40._o 16._o i_o will_v bring_v the_o blind_a by_o the_o way_n that_o they_o know_v not_o i_o will_v make_v darkness_n light_a before_o they_o and_o crooked_a thing_n straight_o these_o thing_n will_v i_o do_v unto_o they_o and_o not_o forsake_v they_o say_v the_o lord_n these_o and_o such_o scripture_n be_v sweet_a and_o i_o begin_v to_o search_v the_o bible_n to_o find_v they_o and_o when_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o set_v they_o home_o upon_o my_o heart_n they_o be_v as_o cordial_n many_o time_n to_o my_o faint_a soul_n but_o though_o i_o have_v some_o comfort_n and_o support_v yet_o be_v i_o not_o free_a from_o temptation_n and_o trouble_v of_o mind_n my_o spiritual_a enemy_n strive_v hard_a to_o hinder_v my_o godly_a course_n and_o turn_v i_o from_o it_o have_v not_o the_o lord_n be_v strong_a than_o they_o my_o sin_n be_v a_o heavy_a burden_n to_o i_o and_o i_o have_v earnest_a desire_n after_o christ_n yet_o i_o find_v it_o very_o hard_a to_o believe_v satan_n labour_v to_o persuade_v i_o that_o i_o be_v not_o elect_v to_o salvation_n and_o therefore_o whatever_o i_o do_v i_o shall_v never_o be_v save_v this_o be_v no_o small_a trouble_n to_o my_o spirit_n but_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o direct_v i_o to_o a_o book_n in_o which_o i_o find_v much_o satisfaction_n concern_v this_o matter_n then_o satan_n tell_v i_o he_o that_o believe_v not_o shall_v be_v damn_v and_o therefore_o because_o i_o be_v full_a of_o unbelief_n and_o doubt_v i_o be_v condemn_v already_o but_o when_o i_o be_v in_o great_a trouble_n about_o this_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o cast_v in_o this_o scripture_n if_o we_o believe_v not_o yet_o he_o abide_v faithful_a he_o can_v deny_v himself_o this_o do_v very_o much_o support_v i_o and_o so_o do_v these_o follow_a promise_n which_o i_o have_v not_o take_v notice_n of_o before_o nor_o apply_v to_o myself_o isa_n 55._o 1._o and_o all_o this_o chapter_n and_o mat._n 11._o 28._o joh._n 7._o 37._o rev._n 22._o 17._o joh._n 3._o 16._o
mat._n 7._o 7._o psal_n 30._o 18._o joh._n 16._o 24._o psal_n 84._o 11._o isa_n 40._o 27._o psal_n 27._o 14._o lament_n 3._o 24_o 25_o 26._o psal_n 147._o 11._o psal_n 26._o 3_o 4._o isa_n 50._o 10._o isa_n 41._o 10._o isa_n 43._o 24_o 25._o isa_n 44._o 22._o 1_o joh._n 1._o 9_o 1_o joh._n 2._o 1._o mark_v 1._o 18_o 19_o rom._n 6._o 14._o ezek._n 34._o 6._o psal_n 103._o 8_o 9_o job_n 17._o 9_o prov._n 4._o 18._o phil._n 1._o 6._o joh._n 10._o 7._o rom._n 16._o 20._o heb._n 4._o 15._o these_o promise_n with_o many_o more_o be_v the_o lord_n please_v to_o give_v i_o in_o the_o time_n of_o my_o distress_n and_o trouble_v of_o spirit_n and_o i_o find_v they_o revive_v cordial_n o_o how_o welcome_a be_v a_o promise_n to_o i_o when_o i_o have_v be_v ready_a to_o despair_v and_o to_o give_v up_o all_o for_o lose_v and_o have_v nothing_o to_o support_v i_o then_o do_v i_o take_v the_o bible_n into_o my_o hand_n and_o desire_v god_n to_o direct_v some_o suitable_a promise_n to_o i_o and_o open_v the_o bible_n the_o first_o place_n i_o have_v cast_v my_o eye_n upon_o have_v often_o be_v a_o precious_a and_o suitable_a promise_n and_o have_v be_v set_v home_o with_o such_o power_n as_o wonderful_o to_o comfort_v i_o once_o be_v under_o great_a fear_n and_o terror_n i_o open_v the_o bible_n and_o the_o first_o place_n i_o fix_v my_o eye_n upon_o be_v isa_n 54._o 4._o fear_v not_o for_o thou_o shall_v not_o be_v confound_v nor_o put_v to_o shame_n thou_o shall_v forget_v the_o shame_n of_o thy_o youth_n thy_o maker_n be_v thy_o husband_n the_o lord_n of_o host_n be_v his_o name_n and_o thy_o redeemer_n the_o holy_a one_o of_o israel_n the_o god_n of_o the_o whole_a earth_n shall_v he_o be_v call_v for_o the_o lord_n have_v call_v thou_o as_o a_o woman_n forsake_v and_o grieve_v in_o spirit_n etc._n etc._n for_o a_o small_a moment_n have_v i_o forsake_v thou_o but_o with_o great_a mercy_n will_v i_o gather_v thou_o in_o a_o little_a wrath_n i_o hide_v my_o face_n for_o a_o moment_n but_o with_o everlasting_a kindness_n will_v i_o have_v mercy_n on_o thou_o say_v the_o lord_n thy_o redeemer_n etc._n etc._n i_o be_v wonderful_o affect_v in_o the_o read_n these_o sweet_a promise_n and_o take_v it_o as_o a_o voice_n from_o heaven_n to_o i_o because_o i_o have_v desire_v some_o such_o suitable_a promise_n at_o another_o time_n be_v in_o great_a trouble_n and_o fear_v i_o shall_v never_o hold_v out_o but_o be_v overcome_v by_o sin_n and_o satan_n i_o open_v my_o bible_n and_o the_o first_o place_n i_o fix_v my_o eye_n upon_o be_v isa_n 41._o 10._o fear_v not_o for_o i_o be_o with_o thou_o be_v not_o dismay_v for_o i_o be_o thy_o god_n i_o will_v strengthen_v thou_o yea_o i_o will_v help_v thou_o yea_o will_v uphold_v thou_o with_o the_o right_a hand_n of_o my_o righteousness_n i_o can_v express_v the_o comfort_n i_o receive_v by_o this_o suitable_a and_o seasonable_a promise_n one_o sabbath-day_n night_n be_v still_o follow_v with_o temptation_n full_a of_o unbelieve_a doubt_n and_o fear_n i_o be_v much_o trouble_v about_o it_o that_o i_o who_o have_v receive_v such_o great_a mercy_n shall_v have_v such_o vain_a thought_n and_o be_v so_o full_a of_o unbelief_n notwithstanding_o the_o experience_n i_o have_v of_o god_n goodness_n and_o mercy_n to_o i_o and_o the_o assurance_n i_o have_v before_o of_o his_o love_n i_o be_v tempt_v to_o think_v that_o i_o be_v not_o elect_v and_o that_o therefore_o all_o i_o do_v be_v to_o no_o purpose_n and_o that_o i_o shall_v never_o be_v save_v this_o be_v a_o subtle_a and_o strong_a temptation_n satan_n do_v not_o only_a labour_n to_o drive_v i_o off_o from_o all_o duty_n but_o to_o weaken_v my_o faith_n and_o bring_v i_o to_o despair_n but_o the_o lord_n who_o have_v many_o time_n before_o wonderful_o rescue_v i_o from_o the_o roar_a lion_n will_v not_o suffer_v i_o to_o be_v foil_v by_o he_o but_o be_v please_v to_o present_v that_o scripture_n to_o my_o eye_n there_o be_v no_o temptation_n have_v take_v you_o but_o such_o as_o be_v common_a to_o man_n and_o god_n be_v faithful_a who_o will_v not_o suffer_v you_o to_o be_v tempt_v above_o what_o you_o be_v able_a but_o will_v with_o the_o temptation_n make_v a_o way_n to_o escape_v that_o you_o may_v be_v able_a to_o bear_v it_o at_o another_o time_n be_v great_o trouble_v with_o unbelief_n that_o place_n in_o the_o revelation_n be_v terrible_a to_o i_o the_o fearful_a and_o unbelieving_a shall_v have_v their_o part_n in_o the_o lake_n that_o burn_v with_o fire_n and_o brimstone_n which_o be_v the_o second_o death_n this_o make_v i_o exceed_o afraid_a i_o think_v if_o the_o fearful_a and_o unbelieve_a shall_v perish_v then_o sure_o i_o shall_v because_o i_o be_v so_o full_a of_o fear_n and_o doubt_n and_o unbelief_n but_o the_o lord_n do_v not_o leave_v i_o in_o this_o great_a streight_n he_o will_v not_o suffer_v i_o to_o be_v overwhelm_v with_o sorrow_n but_o quick_o direct_v i_o to_o a_o suitable_a and_o seasonable_a scripture_n that_o be_v as_o comfortable_a as_o the_o other_o be_v terrible_a 2_o tim._n 2._o 13._o if_o we_o believe_v not_o yet_o be_v abide_v faithful_a he_o can_v deny_v himself_o this_o promise_n be_v very_o sweet_a and_o suitable_a to_o my_o present_a condition_n neither_o do_v i_o remember_v there_o be_v such_o a_o place_n before_o these_o and_o many_o of_o the_o forenamed_a promise_n be_v give_v i_o in_o my_o trouble_n and_o distress_n and_o the_o lord_n enable_v i_o by_o his_o spirit_n to_o make_v application_n of_o they_o to_o my_o own_o soul_n for_o my_o consolation_n certain_o i_o may_v say_v with_o david_n i_o have_v faint_v unless_o i_o have_v believe_v to_o see_v the_o goodness_n of_o the_o lord_n in_o the_o land_n of_o the_o live_n the_o sorrow_n of_o death_n do_v compass_v i_o about_o and_o the_o pain_n of_o hell_n get_v hold_v upon_o i_o i_o find_v trouble_n and_o sorrow_n then_o call_v i_o upon_o the_o name_n of_o the_o lord_n o_o lord_n i_o beseech_v thou_o deliver_v my_o soul_n gracious_a be_v the_o lord_n and_o righteous_a yea_o our_o god_n be_v merciful_a i_o be_v bring_v low_a and_o he_o help_v i_o return_v unto_o thy_o rest_n o_o my_o soul_n for_o the_o lord_n have_v deal_v bountiful_o with_o thou_o in_o the_o multitude_n of_o my_o thought_n within_o i_o thy_o comfort_n delight_v my_o soul_n in_o the_o day_n when_o i_o cry_v thou_o answer_v i_o and_o strengthen_v i_o with_o strength_n in_o my_o soul_n blessed_n be_v the_o lord_n because_o he_o have_v hear_v the_o voice_n of_o my_o supplication_n the_o lord_n be_v my_o strength_n and_o my_o song_n my_o heart_n trust_v in_o he_o and_o i_o be_o help_v if_o it_o have_v not_o be_v the_o lord_n who_o have_v be_v on_o my_o side_n when_o satan_n rise_v up_o against_o i_o he_o have_v sure_o swallow_v i_o up_o the_o lord_n have_v call_v i_o out_o of_o darkness_n into_o his_o marvellous_a light_n he_o have_v pluck_v i_o as_o a_o firebrand_n out_o of_o hell_n and_o set_v i_o in_o the_o way_n to_o heaven_n so_o that_o i_o may_v say_v again_o and_o again_o great_a be_v his_o mercy_n towards_o i_o for_o he_o have_v deliver_v my_o soul_n from_o the_o low_a hell_n but_o o_o why_o be_v it_o that_o i_o be_o so_o little_a sensible_a of_o this_o great_a deliverance_n how_o can_v i_o look_v back_o upon_o all_o this_o without_o admire_v the_o free_a grace_n and_o undeserved_a love_n of_o god_n towards_o such_o a_o worthless_a worm_n as_o i_o who_o be_v a_o enemy_n to_o he_o and_o a_o rebel_n against_o he_o and_o have_v nothing_o in_o i_o but_o what_o deserve_a hell_n o_o that_o ever_o the_o lord_n shall_v from_o eternity_n elect_a and_o choose_v i_o to_o salvation_n through_o jesus_n christ_n that_o god_n shall_v pass_v by_o thousand_o and_o let_v they_o alone_o to_o perish_v in_o their_o sin_n and_o cast_v a_o look_v of_o love_n upon_o i_o and_o when_o i_o be_v in_o my_o blood_n say_v unto_o i_o live_v that_o he_o shall_v not_o only_o give_v his_o son_n for_o i_o but_o to_o i_o that_o he_o shall_v take_v i_o with_o the_o prodigal_n from_o the_o trough_n and_o with_o the_o beggar_n from_o the_o dunghill_n and_o make_v i_o a_o heir_n of_o glory_n when_o i_o read_v that_o christ_n flock_n be_v but_o a_o little_a flock_n and_o that_o straight_o be_v the_o gate_n and_o narrow_a be_v the_o way_n that_o lead_v to_o life_n and_o few_o there_o be_v that_o find_v it_o i_o can_v but_o wonder_v that_o i_o shall_v be_v in_o that_o number_n and_o because_o i_o can_v sufficient_o admire_v i_o will_v therefore_o adore_v my_o good_a god_n but_o what_o return_v shall_v i_o
but_o a_o weak_a faith_n if_o he_o meet_v with_o no_o temptation_n shall_v scarce_o know_v what_o doubt_v mean_n and_o a_o man_n of_o a_o strong_a faith_n under_o strong_a temptation_n may_v not_o be_v able_a to_o overcome_v fear_n and_o doubt_n if_o assurance_n do_v exclude_v all_o doubt_n and_o fear_n than_o it_o shall_v be_v perfect_a but_o as_o our_o faith_n and_o all_o other_o grace_n be_v imperfect_a so_o be_v assurance_n also_o none_o have_v assurance_n at_o all_o time_n it_o be_v like_o the_o wether_n sometime_o fair_a sometime_o foul_a yea_o in_o the_o same_o day_n fair_a in_o the_o morning_n and_o cloudy_a before_o night_n david_n have_v such_o strong_a faith_n at_o one_o time_n that_o he_o will_v not_o fear_v though_o ten_o thousand_o set_v themselves_o against_o he_o he_o will_v not_o fear_v though_o he_o shall_v pass_v through_o the_o valley_n of_o the_o shadow_n of_o death_n at_o another_o time_n he_o be_v so_o full_a of_o fear_n that_o he_o say_v he_o shall_v one_o day_n perish_v by_o the_o hand_n of_o saul_n v._o we_o can_v never_o have_v too_o high_a too_o vast_a thought_n of_o the_o goodness_n of_o god_n we_o do_v not_o think_v aright_o of_o god_n if_o we_o do_v not_o think_v he_o more_o ready_a to_o give_v than_o we_o be_v to_o ask_v there_o be_v nothing_o thou_o can_v go_v to_o god_n for_o that_o be_v according_a to_o his_o will_n but_o he_o be_v ten_o thousand_o time_n more_o ready_a to_o bestow_v than_o thou_o be_v to_o ask_v a_o child_n of_o god_n may_v go_v to_o he_o with_o as_o full_a confidence_n of_o his_o love_n as_o a_o child_n to_o the_o most_o tender_a parent_n in_o the_o world_n nay_o much_o more_o abundant_o the_o bless_a majesty_n of_o heaven_n be_v incline_v to_o succour_v and_o relieve_v those_o that_o be_v in_o distress_n and_o misery_n he_o that_o put_v bowel_n of_o compassion_n and_o pity_n into_o man_n shall_v not_o he_o himself_o be_v much_o more_o pitiful_a and_o compassionate_a exod._n 34._o 6._o he_o be_v merciful_a and_o gracious_a he_o delight_v in_o nothing_o more_o than_o in_o show_v mercy_n you_o can_v do_v nothing_o more_o grateful_a to_o god_n nor_o please_v he_o better_o than_o to_o plead_v for_o mercy_n mich._n 7._o 18._o when_o thou_o plead_v for_o mercy_n thou_o have_v god_n nature_n plead_v the_o same_o thing_n for_o thou_o all_o the_o yearning_n bowel_n of_o the_o most_o compassionate_a parent_n in_o the_o world_n be_v but_o a_o mere_a shadow_n to_o the_o bowel_n of_o god_n we_o may_v go_v to_o god_n in_o confidence_n of_o be_v hear_v for_o christ_n sake_n only_o as_o if_o we_o have_v never_o sin_v it_o be_v wonderful_a what_o the_o scripture_n say_v of_o faith_n and_o prayer_n vi_o this_o also_o may_v help_v to_o sustain_v and_o comfort_v a_o poor_a doubt_v tender_a heart_n that_o fear_n and_o suspect_v himself_o of_o hypocrisy_n that_o those_o very_a fear_n of_o thou_o be_v some_o show_n of_o the_o contrary_n man_n natural_o love_v and_o flatter_v themselves_o but_o thou_o loathe_v thyself_o for_o thy_o corruption_n be_v of_o good_a cheer_n it_o be_v grace_n and_o nothing_o but_o grace_n that_o complain_v of_o sin_n it_o be_v sincerity_n and_o nothing_o else_o that_o discover_v and_o bewail_v hypocrisy_n especial_o when_o thou_o bewail_v heart-hypocrisie_n and_o such_o secret_a and_o hide_a sin_n that_o only_a god_n and_o thy_o own_o heart_n do_v know_v if_o thou_o live_v not_o in_o any_o know_a sin_n nor_o in_o neglect_n of_o any_o know_a duty_n if_o thou_o will_v find_v out_o thy_o sin_n if_o there_o be_v no_o sin_n thou_o will_v have_v hide_v from_o god_n eye_n and_o no_o duty_n thou_o will_v have_v hide_v from_o thy_o own_o eye_n if_o there_o be_v no_o sin_n but_o thy_o heart_n be_v against_o it_o and_o no_o duty_n but_o thy_o heart_n be_v for_o it_o this_o prove_v thy_o uprightness_n vii_o if_o god_n never_o make_v his_o face_n to_o shine_v on_o thou_o in_o this_o world_n yet_o it_o be_v thy_o duty_n to_o trust_v and_o cleave_v to_o he_o through_o christ_n will_v you_o know_v why_o god_n when_o he_o have_v wrought_v grace_n do_v not_o enable_v the_o soul_n present_o to_o perceive_v it_o it_o may_v be_v it_o be_v that_o sin_n may_v be_v more_o bitter_a if_o we_o can_v have_v comfort_n when_o we_o will_v we_o shall_v have_v very_o slight_a thought_n of_o sin_n upon_o sight_n of_o thy_o grace_n possible_o thou_o will_v be_v proud_a to_o hide_v this_o pride_n god_n hide_v our_o grace_n from_o we_o it_o may_v be_v god_n do_v it_o to_o prove_v thy_o obedience_n to_o he_o for_o to_o rely_v on_o god_n grace_n and_o live_v by_o faith_n without_o sensible_a token_n of_o it_o be_v the_o pure_a act_n of_o obedience_n that_o can_v be_v by_o assurance_n we_o get_v more_o comfort_n to_o ourselves_o but_o by_o believe_v we_o give_v more_o glory_n to_o god_n therefore_o say_v christ_n to_o thomas_n bless_a be_v they_o that_o have_v not_o see_v and_o yet_o have_v believe_v when_o you_o have_v any_o evidence_n of_o grace_n you_o must_v be_v sure_a to_o rest_v only_o on_o christ_n and_o trust_v to_o he_o the_o great_a work_n of_o a_o christian_a in_o this_o world_n be_v out_o of_o a_o sense_n of_o his_o sin_n and_o weakness_n daily_o to_o depend_v on_o christ_n look_v to_o christ_n see_v our_o need_n of_o christ_n for_o pardon_n and_o sanctification_n and_o reconciliation_n every_o day_n this_o be_v our_o great_a work_n how_o many_o search_n for_o grace_n and_o neglect_v to_o put_v forth_o act_n of_o faith_n on_o christ_n alas_o grace_n be_v but_o token_n from_o christ_n let_v we_o not_o forget_v depend_v and_o rely_v on_o the_o bless_a jesus_n though_o we_o have_v no_o fight_n at_o all_o of_o any_o grace_n in_o ourselves_o where_o a_o person_n have_v any_o one_o sign_n of_o grace_n he_o may_v warrantable_o conclude_v all_o the_o rest_n to_o be_v there_o though_o at_o present_a he_o perceive_v they_o not_o it_o be_v the_o truth_n and_o not_o the_o measure_n and_o degree_n of_o your_o grace_n you_o be_v to_o conclude_v your_o state_n by_o the_o prize_v and_o love_v and_o seek_v and_o delight_v in_o the_o love_n and_o favour_n of_o god_n above_o all_o be_v a_o certain_a evidence_n of_o grace_n viii_o the_o great_a sense_n of_o sin_n and_o gild_n shall_v discourage_v none_o from_o come_v to_o god_n for_o mercy_n through_o christ_n because_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n be_v infinite_o more_o than_o a_o sinner_n provocation_n be_v or_o can_v be_v o_o it_o be_v boundless_a mercy_n bottomless_a mercy_n there_o be_v many_o like_a sinner_n as_o thou_o be_v but_o there_o be_v none_o like_o god_n for_o pardon_v and_o forgive_a mercy_n mic._n 6._o 18._o my_o thought_n be_v not_o your_o thought_n nor_o my_o way_n your_o way_n as_o the_o heaven_n be_v high_a than_o the_o earth_n so_o be_v my_o way_n high_a than_o your_o way_n and_o my_o thought_n than_o your_o thought_n isa_n 55._o 8._o when_o conscience_n be_v awaken_v we_o be_v ready_a to_o doubt_v whether_o god_n will_v pardon_v we_o therefore_o he_o fetch_v argument_n from_o his_o gracious_a and_o merciful_a nature_n my_o way_n be_v not_o your_o way_n if_o you_o repent_v your_o sin_n shall_v infinite_o be_v outdo_v we_o be_v apt_a to_o think_v god_n like_o ourselves_o but_o the_o bless_a god_n be_v of_o tender_a bowel_n slow_a to_o wrath_n loath_a to_o take_v vengeance_n ready_a to_o forgive_v the_o great_a wrong_n and_o receive_v the_o sinner_n into_o his_o favour_n upon_o true_a repentance_n there_o be_v say_v god_n as_o vast_a a_o difference_n between_o my_o disposition_n and_o deal_v and_o you_o as_o between_o heaven_n and_o earth_n thou_o that_o be_v a_o awaken_v convince_a sinner_n the_o promise_n of_o the_o gospel_n belong_v unto_o thou_o isa_n 61._o 1._o the_o lord_n have_v anoint_v i_o to_o preach_v good_a tiding_n to_o the_o meek_a to_o bind_v up_o the_o brokenhearted_a and_o to_o comfort_v all_o that_o mourn_v can_v thou_o desire_v to_o be_v in_o a_o better_a case_n than_o those_o who_o christ_n have_v commission_n to_o take_v care_n of_o the_o poor_a in_o spirit_n the_o mourner_n for_o their_o sin_n those_o that_o hunger_n after_o righteousness_n not_o have_v a_o drop_n of_o comfort_n from_o themselves_o christ_n bless_v and_o pronounce_v happy_a bless_a be_v the_o poor_a in_o spirit_n not_o one_o of_o they_o will_v the_o lord_n have_v keep_v from_o come_v to_o he_o mat._n 11._o 28._o come_v to_o i_o all_z you_o that_o labour_n and_o be_v heavy_a lade_v and_o i_o will_v give_v you_o rest_n trust_v to_o i_o you_o that_o be_v trouble_v in_o conscience_n for_o sin_n i_o will_v bring_v you_o to_o rest_v in_o god_n love_n and_o favour_n be_v not_o discourage_v there_o be_v a_o mediator_n for_o thou_o who_o worthiness_n and_o