be_v the_o lord_n say_v with_o mary_n in_o luke_n 1._o my_o soul_n do_v magnify_v the_o lord_n and_o my_o spirit_n do_v rejoice_v in_o god_n my_o saviour_n who_o have_v regard_v the_o low_a estate_n of_o his_o handmaid_n 8._o though_o former_o my_o foundation_n be_v build_v upon_o the_o sand_n and_o therefore_o easy_o overthrow_v yet_o now_o i_o trust_v in_o the_o lord_n i_o be_o establish_v by_o faith_n build_v upon_o that_o rock_n which_o be_v the_o love_n of_o god_n my_o saviour_n christ_n be_v the_o corner_n stone_n isa_n 28.16_o behold_v i_o lie_v in_o zion_n a_o stone_n a_o try_a stone_n he_o that_o believe_v shall_v not_o make_v haste_n 9_o i_o wait_v upon_o the_o will_n of_o my_o heavenly_a father_n in_o all_o his_o dispensation_n for_o a_o more_o full_a enjoyment_n of_o jesus_n christ_n in_o my_o soul_n which_o i_o do_v hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o and_o i_o have_v the_o promise_n of_o my_o god_n that_o i_o shall_v be_v fill_v and_o have_v taste_v i_o have_v find_v the_o lord_n be_v gracious_a and_o more_o to_o be_v desire_v than_o thousand_o of_o world_n 10._o i_o believe_v not_o upon_o other_o word_n but_o as_o in_o john_n 4.42_o as_o some_o say_v to_o the_o woman_n of_o samaria_n now_o we_o believe_v not_o because_o of_o thy_o say_n for_o we_o have_v hear_v he_o ourselves_o and_o know_v that_o this_o be_v indeed_o the_o christ_n the_o saviour_n of_o the_o world_n 11._o as_o david_n say_v i_o have_v faint_v unless_o i_o have_v believe_v to_o see_v the_o goodness_n of_o the_o lord_n and_o i_o believe_v therefore_o have_v i_o speak_v for_o i_o be_v great_o afflict_v as_o the_o apostle_n say_v you_o be_v complete_a in_o christ_n therefore_o i_o reckon_v myself_o in_o he_o 12._o the_o lord_n have_v clear_v it_o to_o i_o that_o i_o be_o a_o believer_n i_o be_o confident_a that_o christ_n jesus_n do_v pray_v to_o his_o father_n for_o i_o in_o the_o 17._o of_o john_n say_v i_o pray_v not_o for_o these_o only_a but_o for_o they_o that_o shall_v believe_v through_o their_o word_n that_o they_o may_v be_v one_o even_o as_o we_o be_v one_o therefore_o thou_o be_v my_o god_n and_o i_o will_v praise_v thou_o for_o thou_o have_v hear_v i_o and_o be_v become_v my_o salvation_n thus_o in_o some_o measure_n i_o have_v weak_o hint_v out_o a_o reason_n of_o the_o hope_n that_o be_v in_o i_o trust_v in_o my_o god_n that_o as_o he_o have_v take_v away_o the_o guilt_n of_o sin_n out_o of_o my_o conscience_n so_o in_o his_o due_a time_n he_o will_v take_v away_o all_o sin_n from_o my_o conversation_n as_o he_o have_v give_v i_o a_o pardon_n for_o sin_n so_o he_o will_v overpower_v all_o my_o corruption_n that_o i_o may_v live_v more_o to_o the_o praise_n of_o the_o glory_n of_o his_o grace_n wherein_o he_o have_v make_v i_o accept_v in_o the_o belove_a and_o that_o i_o shall_v become_v over_o sin_n satan_n self_n and_o all_o thing_n opposite_a to_o grace_n more_o than_o a_o conqueror_n through_o he_o that_o have_v love_v i_o and_o wash_v i_o from_o my_o sin_n in_o his_o blood_n for_o to_o he_o be_v all_o thing_n possible_a and_o he_o be_v the_o wise_a master-builder_n who_o will_v not_o only_o begin_v but_o will_v go_v on_o to_o accomplish_v his_o own_o work_n d._n r._n xxviii_o experience_n of_o a._n o._n i_o have_v undergo_v sad_a trouble_n of_o spirit_n for_o my_o sin_n which_o i_o have_v have_v a_o great_a sight_n and_o sense_n of_o and_o shed_v many_o tear_n for_o and_o desire_v to_o be_v true_o sorry_a for_o they_o and_o hate_v they_o and_o to_o have_v no_o more_o communion_n with_o they_o about_o two_o year_n i_o lay_v under_o very_o great_a temptation_n and_o be_v ready_a to_o despair_v and_o for_o several_a night_n can_v not_o take_v any_o rest_n in_o my_o bed_n but_o be_v very_o weak_a with_o weep_v and_o much_o grieve_v for_o my_o evil_a thought_n yet_o the_o lord_n draw_v forth_o my_o heart_n to_o call_v upon_o he_o and_o hope_v in_o he_o for_o mercy_n but_o i_o have_v many_o sore_a conflict_n insomuch_o that_o i_o can_v not_o lie_v in_o the_o chamber_n alone_o i_o make_v what_o use_n i_o can_v of_o opportunity_n to_o desire_v comfort_n from_o such_o godly_a christian_n as_o i_o can_v meet_v withal_o to_o counsel_v i_o in_o the_o way_n of_o god_n and_o i_o labour_v to_o hearken_v to_o they_o but_o find_v my_o heart_n very_o dull_a and_o heavy_a for_o a_o time_n until_o about_o three_o year_n since_o i_o begin_v to_o find_v comfort_n from_o some_o sermon_n that_o i_o hear_v and_o book_n that_o i_o read_v and_o some_o thought_n that_o the_o lord_n settle_v upon_o my_o heart_n by_o his_o spirit_n hope_v that_o there_o be_v mercy_n for_o i_o and_o i_o do_v believe_v that_o i_o have_v all_o the_o prayer_n of_o all_o the_o saint_n in_o the_o world_n put_v up_o to_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n for_o i_o and_o that_o my_o saviour_n have_v satisfy_v for_o my_o sin_n and_o through_o he_o god_n be_v reconcile_v to_o i_o and_o in_o particular_a i_o find_v comfort_n from_o these_o and_o some_o other_o promise_n john_n 16.35_o jesus_n say_v unto_o they_o i_o be_o the_o bread_n of_o life_n he_o that_o come_v to_o i_o shall_v never_o hunger_n and_o he_o that_o believe_v on_o i_o shall_v never_o thirst_v verse_n 37._o all_o that_o the_o father_n give_v i_o shall_v come_v to_o i_o and_o he_o that_o come_v to_o i_o i_o will_v in_o no_o wise_a cast_v out_o john_n 14.1_o let_v not_o your_o heart_n be_v trouble_v you_o believe_v in_o god_n believe_v also_o in_o i_o jerem._n 31.23_o but_o this_o shall_v he_o the_o covenant_n that_o i_o will_v make_v with_o the_o house_n of_o israel_n after_o those_o day_n say_v the_o lord_n i_o will_v put_v my_o law_n in_o their_o inward_a part_n and_o write_v it_o in_o their_o heart_n and_o i_o will_v be_v their_o god_n and_o they_o shall_v be_v my_o people_n and_o i_o do_v find_v in_o my_o heart_n a_o testimony_n of_o my_o believe_v &_o that_o i_o do_v love_n god_n wrought_v in_o i_o by_o his_o bless_a spirit_n by_o these_o particular_n 1._o i_o love_v god_n not_o through_o slavish_a fear_n but_o for_o his_o name_n and_o glory_n so_o that_o i_o can_v leave_v all_o for_o he_o and_o nothing_o be_v so_o dear_a and_o precious_a unto_o i_o as_o the_o love_n of_o god_n and_o nothing_o so_o great_a a_o joy_n to_o i_o as_o that_o christ_n who_o die_v for_o i_o have_v not_o leave_v i_o 2._o i_o find_v such_o comfort_n from_o the_o lord_n that_o he_o by_o his_o spirit_n revive_v my_o droop_a heart_n and_o fill_v my_o empty_a soul_n and_o when_o my_o poor_a spirit_n be_v even_o faint_v away_o i_o find_v comfort_n from_o his_o glorious_a power_n and_o presence_n 3._o when_o i_o can_v come_v to_o ordinance_n it_o be_v a_o grief_n to_o i_o and_o when_o i_o be_o in_o duty_n it_o be_v a_o grief_n to_o i_o that_o i_o be_o so_o dull_a and_o find_v no_o more_o enlargement_n yet_o my_o affection_n be_v groan_v after_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n in_o duty_n and_o i_o have_v a_o great_a longing_n to_o receive_v more_o of_o christ_n and_o i_o find_v more_o comfort_n when_o my_o heart_n be_v enlarge_v in_o duty_n than_o in_o any_o other_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n and_o i_o know_v that_o all_o my_o comfort_n be_v from_o jesus_n christ_n 4._o what_o i_o desire_v to_o enjoy_v i_o seek_v to_o enjoy_v it_o in_o god_n through_o peace_n of_o conscience_n that_o it_o may_v be_v to_o the_o comfort_n of_o my_o faith_n for_o god_n be_v pure_a and_o it_o be_v a_o great_a grief_n to_o i_o that_o i_o can_v serve_v my_o god_n no_o better_o 5._o i_o do_v not_o fear_v death_n for_o my_o faith_n be_v so_o settle_a in_o god_n that_o i_o long_o to_o be_v with_o my_o saviour_n when_o he_o shall_v be_v please_v to_o call_v i_o to_o he_o christ_n have_v dye_v for_o i_o to_o take_v away_o the_o fear_n of_o the_o second_o death_n a._n o._n xxix_o experience_n of_o m._n w._n i_o have_v from_o my_o childhood_n desire_v to_o serve_v the_o lord_n and_o to_o make_v his_o commandment_n my_o rule_n to_o walk_v by_o and_o i_o think_v once_o that_o i_o can_v have_v say_v with_o the_o young_a man_n in_o the_o gospel_n all_o these_o have_v i_o keep_v from_o my_o youth_n but_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o visit_v i_o with_o a_o grievous_a sickness_n even_o unto_o death_n and_o then_o my_o heart_n tell_v i_o that_o i_o be_v a_o great_a sinner_n and_o my_o conscience_n accuse_v i_o that_o i_o have_v love_v the_o world_n more_o than_o i_o have_v love_v jesus_n christ_n then_o i_o be_v afflict_v in_o my_o spirit_n with_o fear_n because_o i_o can_v not_o believe_v
that_o jesus_n christ_n have_v dye_v for_o i_o i_o beseech_v the_o lord_n by_o earnest_a prayer_n that_o he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o spare_v i_o for_o i_o find_v myself_o to_o be_v very_o unfit_a for_o death_n i_o make_v promise_n to_o the_o lord_n that_o if_o he_o do_v please_v to_o spare_v i_o i_o will_v lead_v a_o new_a life_n and_o do_v resolve_v to_o walk_v more_o close_o to_o my_o god_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v in_o mercy_n to_o hear_v my_o prayer_n and_o grant_v this_o request_n and_o spare_v i_o a_o while_n long_o to_o serve_v he_o in_o the_o land_n of_o the_o live_n but_o notwithstanding_o my_o promise_n and_o the_o great_a deliverance_n the_o lord_n have_v wrought_v for_o i_o in_o keep_v i_o back_o from_o hell_n and_o the_o grave_a i_o have_v soon_o forget_v all_o i_o begin_v to_o love_v the_o world_n again_o and_o live_v as_o vain_o as_o before_o but_o the_o lord_n smite_v my_o conscience_n and_o sore_o trouble_v my_o spirit_n for_o this_o backslide_n put_v i_o in_o mind_n of_o the_o promise_n i_o have_v make_v to_o he_o in_o my_o sickness_n with_o great_a bitterness_n of_o heart_n and_o grief_n of_o soul_n i_o mourn_v for_o my_o fail_n and_o do_v again_o resolve_v for_o the_o time_n to_o come_v to_o keep_v more_o close_o to_o god_n and_o set_v a_o watch_n over_o my_o heart_n but_o the_o more_o i_o look_v into_o my_o heart_n the_o more_o vile_a i_o see_v myself_o to_o be_v and_o be_v great_o trouble_v that_o i_o have_v so_o often_o play_v the_o hypocrite_n with_o my_o god_n i_o again_o beseech_v the_o lord_n by_o prayer_n that_o he_o will_v be_v please_v for_o jesus_n christ_n his_o sake_n to_o forgive_v all_o my_o sin_n and_o backslide_n which_o i_o then_o be_v grieve_v for_o with_o loathe_v more_o than_o ever_o before_o my_o conscience_n be_v so_o wound_v and_o my_o soul_n cast_v down_o in_o so_o great_a a_o conflict_n that_o my_o spirit_n be_v almost_o dry_v up_o and_o my_o heart_n begin_v to_o grow_v weary_a and_o faint_a with_o cry_v and_o groan_v after_o my_o saviour_n yet_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o humble_v i_o still_o more_o and_o more_o and_o to_o try_v i_o further_o as_o gold_n be_v try_v in_o the_o fire_n and_o my_o affliction_n be_v double_v upon_o i_o by_o satan_n malice_n who_o tempt_v i_o with_o evil_a thought_n which_o be_v grievous_a to_o my_o soul_n when_o i_o have_v pray_v with_o a_o trouble_a spirit_n as_o well_o as_o i_o can_v the_o devil_n put_v thought_n into_o my_o mind_n quite_o contrary_a to_o the_o frame_n of_o a_o pray_a spirit_n when_o i_o have_v read_v the_o word_n of_o god_n he_o tempt_v i_o with_o doubt_n and_o question_n touch_v some_o thing_n therein_o whether_o it_o be_v truth_n or_o not_o and_o satan_n follow_v his_o temptation_n so_o close_o upon_o i_o that_o as_o soon_o as_o the_o lord_n have_v enable_v i_o to_o repulse_v one_o temptation_n the_o devil_n assault_v i_o with_o another_o so_o that_o i_o have_v scarce_o time_n to_o fetch_v my_o breath_n one_o temptation_n follow_v so_o close_o upon_o another_o be_v trouble_v much_o in_o my_o spirit_n in_o this_o condition_n i_o be_v tempt_v to_o discontent_n that_o the_o lord_n have_v not_o take_v away_o these_o temptation_n from_o i_o and_o in_o anger_n fall_v into_o some_o great_a passion_n even_o near_o unto_o desperation_n and_o i_o be_v sore_o bussete_v by_o the_o devil_n in_o this_o my_o low_a extremity_n who_o assault_v i_o with_o fresh_a temptation_n of_o blasphemous_a thought_n touch_v god_n so_o that_o when_o in_o the_o bitterness_n of_o my_o soul_n i_o be_v seek_v after_o jesus_n christ_n and_o have_v name_v god_n he_o will_v put_v into_o my_o mind_n the_o object_n of_o the_o brute_n creature_n and_o even_o whilst_o i_o be_v pour_v out_o my_o soul_n to_o the_o creator_n and_o be_v plead_v a_o promise_n he_o bring_v a_o curse_n to_o my_o thought_n thus_o be_v i_o repulse_v in_o all_o duty_n by_o satan_n terrify_n my_o soul_n to_o persuade_v i_o that_o it_o be_v in_o vain_a for_o i_o to_o seek_v for_o salvation_n because_o i_o have_v commit_v the_o sin_n against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n which_o god_n by_o his_o word_n have_v declare_v shall_v never_o be_v forgive_v neither_o in_o this_o world_n nor_o in_o the_o world_n to_o come_v because_o i_o be_v discontent_v that_o the_o lord_n after_o all_o my_o address_n to_o he_o have_v not_o deliver_v i_o from_o all_o my_o trouble_n but_o the_o lord_n give_v i_o strength_n to_o resist_v satan_n and_o say_v in_o the_o bitterness_n of_o my_o soul_n to_o my_o god_n far_o be_v it_o from_o i_o o_o lord_n to_o be_v offend_v with_o thou_o and_o the_o lord_n wrought_v this_o resolution_n in_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o do_v protest_v before_o the_o lord_n that_o although_o i_o shall_v see_v nothing_o but_o hell_n before_o i_o yet_o i_o will_v trust_v in_o he_o and_o stay_v myself_o upon_o my_o god_n until_o he_o please_v to_o send_v i_o deliverance_n i_o make_v my_o case_n know_v to_o a_o dear_a friend_n who_o give_v i_o some_o comfort_n he_o tell_v i_o that_o the_o sin_n against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n be_v to_o sin_v wilful_o by_o perpetual_a despite_n against_o god_n i_o find_v a_o clear_a testimony_n in_o my_o conscience_n that_o i_o be_v so_o far_o from_o despit_v the_o spirit_n of_o grace_n that_o i_o have_v not_o sin_v willing_o against_o god_n for_o i_o find_v it_o to_o be_v a_o affliction_n to_o i_o to_o be_v rempt_v with_o evil_a thought_n touch_v the_o lord_n though_o i_o consent_v not_o to_o they_o and_o i_o find_v my_o soul_n grieve_v that_o i_o can_v not_o be_v free_v from_o they_o and_o then_o with_o abundance_n of_o tear_n by_o often_o prayer_n and_o supplication_n to_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n i_o pour_v forth_o my_o sinful_a soul_n at_o the_o footstool_n of_o god_n mercy_n exalt_v free_a grace_n and_o plead_v the_o unspeakable_a riches_n of_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n that_o will_v appear_v in_o the_o conversion_n of_o such_o a_o sinner_n as_o i_o have_v be_v methinks_v it_o seem_v to_o exalt_v god_n mercy_n and_o to_o be_v one_o of_o the_o great_a manifestation_n of_o free_a grace_n in_o the_o world_n to_o be_v to_o the_o great_a glory_n of_o the_o lord_n and_o unspeakable_a comfort_n of_o my_o poor_a soul_n if_o he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o bring_v i_o to_o himself_o now_o when_o by_o the_o divine_a power_n of_o god_n my_o heart_n be_v thus_o resolve_v to_o trust_v in_o he_o and_o to_o wait_v upon_o he_o than_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o to_o my_o comfort_n the_o example_n of_o jesus_n christ_n who_o have_v no_o sin_n in_o himself_o yet_o he_o be_v tempt_v of_o the_o devil_n and_o likewise_o of_o paul_n how_o satan_n send_v send_v a_o messenger_n to_o buffet_v he_o who_o then_o pray_v unto_o god_n and_o the_o lord_n say_v my_o grace_n be_v sufficient_a for_o thou_o my_o power_n be_v make_v know_v in_o thy_o weakness_n then_o i_o begin_v to_o be_v comfort_v and_o to_o think_v if_o christ_n himself_o be_v tempt_v if_o the_o child_n of_o god_n who_o have_v be_v eminent_a example_n have_v lie_v under_o temptation_n and_o the_o lord_n according_a to_o his_o promise_n have_v strengthen_v and_o deliver_v they_o there_o be_v hope_n for_o i_o and_o the_o lord_n wrought_v faith_n in_o my_o heart_n to_o believe_v that_o he_o will_v strengthen_v i_o and_o keep_v i_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o perish_v for_o ever_o and_o i_o have_v since_o find_v great_a consolation_n in_o many_o promise_n which_o the_o lord_n have_v reveal_v in_o his_o word_n which_o i_o have_v plead_v before_o he_o some_o of_o which_o follow_v isaiah_n 50.10_o who_o be_v among_o you_o that_o fear_v the_o lord_n and_o obey_v the_o voice_n of_o his_o servant_n that_o walk_v in_o darkness_n and_o have_v no_o light_n let_v he_o trust_v in_o the_o name_n of_o the_o lord_n and_o stay_v upon_o his_o god_n i_o apply_v this_o promise_n thus_o i_o have_v walk_v in_o darkness_n and_o see_v no_o light_n but_o god_n have_v wrought_v in_o my_o heart_n to_o fear_v he_o and_o a_o willingness_n to_o obey_v my_o saviour_n and_o a_o resolution_n to_o trust_v in_o the_o name_n of_o the_o lord_n therefore_o i_o know_v it_o be_v not_o in_o vain_a to_o stay_v myself_o upon_o my_o god_n and_o matth._n 12.20_o it_o be_v say_v by_o christ_n a_o bruise_a reed_n shall_v he_o not_o break_v and_o smoke_a flax_n shall_v he_o not_o quench_v till_o he_o send_v forth_o judgement_n unto_o victory_n the_o lord_n have_v break_v and_o bruise_v i_o in_o the_o sense_n of_o sin_n and_o draw_v forth_o my_o heart_n to_o rely_v upon_o he_o i_o believe_v that_o he_o will_v in_o the_o end_n give_v i_o victory_n through_o
lie_v under_o 4._o when_o i_o have_v be_v under_o great_a fear_n in_o the_o time_n of_o our_o civil_a war_n 5._o when_o i_o have_v be_v under_o spiritual_a desertion_n by_o god_n hide_v his_o face_n and_o favour_n from_o i_o or_o by_o reason_n of_o weakness_n and_o want_v in_o grace_n or_o by_o reason_n of_o strong_a and_o prevail_a corruption_n or_o by_o reason_n of_o satan_n temptation_n in_o all_o these_o case_n i_o have_v experience_v god_n gracious_a dispensation_n towards_o i_o of_o which_o i_o shall_v set_v down_o a_o few_o it_o please_v god_n for_o many_o year_n to_o keep_v i_o for_o the_o most_o part_n in_o a_o sad_a and_o desolate_a estate_n and_o condition_n not_o clear_o evidence_v the_o certain_a assurance_n of_o his_o love_n to_o my_o soul_n so_o that_o many_o time_n i_o question_v whether_o i_o be_v a_o child_n of_o god_n or_o no_o whether_o i_o have_v part_n in_o jesus_n christ_n or_o no_o whether_o i_o shall_v ever_o attain_v to_o life_n and_o salvation_n or_o no_o and_o this_o make_v i_o walk_v with_o a_o droop_a and_o disconsolate_a spirit_n so_o that_o i_o can_v have_v no_o sure_a comfort_n in_o any_o thing_n but_o though_o heaviness_n endure_v for_o a_o night_n yet_o joy_n come_v in_o the_o morning_n when_o the_o lord_n cause_v the_o light_n of_o his_o countenance_n to_o shine_v upon_o i_o which_o be_v better_a than_o life_n it_o please_v god_n upon_o the_o death_n of_o my_o young_a child_n that_o it_o lay_v very_o heavy_a upon_o my_o spirit_n in_o so_o much_o that_o i_o be_v bring_v oft_o upon_o my_o knee_n to_o beg_v support_n from_o god_n and_o to_o crave_v his_o grace_n and_o assistance_n that_o i_o may_v not_o break_v out_o to_o speak_v or_o act_v any_o thing_n whereby_o god_n name_v may_v be_v dishonour_v or_o the_o gospel_n discredit_v and_o that_o he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o make_v up_o this_o outward_a loss_n with_o some_o more_o durable_a and_o spiritual_a good_a and_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o return_v a_o gracious_a and_o speedy_a answer_n to_o these_o my_o request_n for_o though_o i_o lie_v long_o under_o the_o burden_n of_o that_o loss_n yet_o the_o lord_n in_o his_o due_a time_n do_v sweet_o manifest_v his_o special_a love_n to_o my_o soul_n assure_v i_o that_o he_o be_v my_o gracious_a and_o reconcile_a father_n in_o christ_n whereby_o my_o love_n to_o he_o be_v much_o increase_v and_o even_o inflame_v so_o that_o by_o his_o grace_n it_o wrought_v in_o i_o more_o diligence_n and_o carefulness_n to_o maintain_v and_o preserve_v these_o evidence_n of_o his_o love_n and_o to_o yield_v a_o lively_a submission_n unto_o his_o will_n as_o well_o in_o suffer_v as_o in_o do_v as_o also_o by_o avoid_v whatsoever_o may_v provoke_v he_o to_o withdraw_v the_o evidence_n of_o his_o love_n from_o i_o without_o the_o sense_n whereof_o i_o can_v take_v little_a or_o no_o comfort_n in_o any_o thing_n and_o furthermore_o i_o bless_v god_n for_o it_o and_o speak_v it_o to_o the_o praise_n and_o glory_n of_o his_o rich_a and_o free_a grace_n my_o prayer_n and_o earnest_a desire_n have_v be_v answer_v by_o god_n give_v i_o comfortable_a assurance_n both_o from_o the_o testimony_n of_o his_o holy_a word_n and_o the_o witness_n of_o his_o bless_a spirit_n of_o my_o eternal_a and_o everlasting_a salvation_n in_o and_o by_o jesus_n christ_n yet_o have_v i_o not_o be_v without_o fear_n and_o doubt_v many_o time_n through_o want_n of_o look_v over_o my_o evidence_n or_o by_o neglect_v to_o keep_v a_o narrow_a watch_n over_o my_o heart_n or_o from_o some_o weakness_n of_o my_o faith_n and_o all_o through_o my_o own_o default_n and_o negligence_n the_o lord_n pardon_v it_o and_o make_v i_o more_o circumspect_a for_o the_o time_n to_o come_v by_o all_o these_o i_o have_v gain_v this_o experience_n 1._o that_o god_n be_v true_a and_o faithful_a in_o make_v good_a all_o his_o promise_n seasonable_o unto_o we_o as_o that_o all_o thing_n shall_v work_v together_o for_o our_o good_a and_o that_o god_n will_v never_o leave_v we_o nor_o forsake_v we_o etc._n etc._n 2._o that_o it_o be_v not_o in_o vain_a to_o wait_v upon_o god_n and_o â—o_o seek_v unto_o he_o in_o our_o strait_n who_o be_v more_o ready_a to_o hear_v than_o we_o be_v to_o ask_v 3._o that_o i_o desire_v to_o see_v yea_o the_o lord_n have_v show_v i_o the_o vanity_n and_o uncertainty_n of_o the_o most_o satisfy_a comfort_n that_o this_o world_n can_v afford_v and_o what_o a_o emptiness_n there_o be_v in_o they_o that_o so_o i_o may_v and_o i_o desire_v so_o to_o do_v keep_v wean_v affection_n towards_o they_o and_o to_o sit_v loose_a from_o they_o that_o i_o may_v be_v ready_a to_o part_v with_o they_o when_o god_n call_v they_o from_o i_o or_o i_o from_o they_o again_o in_o regard_n of_o bodily_a weakness_n and_o sickness_n my_o experience_n have_v be_v these_o 1._o that_o as_o a_o break_a shoulder_n can_v bear_v no_o burden_n so_o the_o least_o distemper_n when_o the_o heart_n be_v not_o in_o a_o holy_a frame_n and_o temper_n be_v a_o burden_n insupportable_a if_o god_n hide_v his_o face_n from_o we_o and_o withdraw_v the_o evidence_n of_o his_o love_n and_o deny_v to_o assist_v we_o by_o his_o strength_n we_o can_v neither_o do_v nor_o suffer_v any_o thing_n and_o on_o the_o contrary_a i_o find_v by_o experience_n that_o i_o can_v with_o much_o cheerfulness_n holy_a submission_n and_o willingness_n bear_v great_a distemper_n when_o i_o enjoy_v the_o favour_n of_o god_n in_o they_o so_o that_o then_o i_o can_v ready_o say_v good_a be_v the_o work_n of_o the_o lord_n as_o well_o as_o his_o word_n and_o i_o will_v bear_v the_o indignation_n of_o the_o lord_n because_o i_o have_v sin_v against_o he_o micah_n 7.9_o and_o job_n 13.15_o though_o he_o slay_v i_o yet_o will_v i_o trust_v in_o he_o 2._o i_o find_v by_o experience_n also_o that_o by_o my_o pain_n and_o sickness_n i_o be_v the_o better_a able_a to_o sympathize_v with_o and_o to_o pity_n and_o pray_v for_o other_o in_o the_o like_a case_n 3._o hereby_o i_o learn_v the_o more_o to_o prize_v health_n and_o that_o upon_o several_a account_n namely_o because_o in_o health_n we_o have_v liberty_n and_o opportunity_n to_o enjoy_v the_o public_a ordinance_n with_o other_o of_o god_n people_n whereby_o the_o grace_n of_o true_a christian_n be_v quicken_v strengthen_v and_o increase_v in_o we_o which_o otherwise_o by_o reason_n of_o our_o corrupt_a nature_n be_v apt_a to_o grow_v cold_a and_o languish_v as_o will_v our_o body_n if_o they_o want_v food_n again_o because_o in_o health_n we_o enjoy_v the_o benefit_n and_o the_o comfort_n of_o sweet_a and_o quiet_a sleep_n which_o much_o refresh_v and_o cheer_v and_o which_o common_o we_o want_v in_o sickness_n last_o because_o in_o health_n we_o find_v sweet_a satisfy_v comfort_n in_o the_o use_n of_o god_n good_a creature_n whereas_o in_o sickness_n the_o dainty_a food_n be_v loathsome_a and_o troublesome_a the_o consideration_n of_o these_o thing_n make_v i_o the_o more_o to_o prize_v health_n to_o be_v very_o thankful_a for_o it_o and_o the_o more_o careful_a to_o employ_v and_o improve_v health_n and_o strength_n to_o god_n glory_n and_o the_o furtherance_n of_o my_o own_o salvation_n in_o regard_n of_o public_a danger_n i_o have_v have_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o experience_n of_o god_n goodness_n towards_o i_o and_o my_o several_a time_n for_o when_o in_o the_o begin_n of_o the_o civil_a war_n and_o distraction_n 1642._o i_o be_v sometime_o over_o whelm_v with_o weak_a and_o distrustful_a fear_n occasion_v by_o my_o not_o act_v faith_n upon_o the_o promise_n and_o not_o remember_v my_o former_a experience_n nor_o consider_v god_n love_n power_n and_o fidelity_n to_o his_o child_n in_o perform_v his_o so_o many_o gracious_a promise_n make_v unto_o they_o in_o all_o estate_n and_o condition_n and_o to_o i_o among_o the_o rest_n hereupon_o i_o resolve_v by_o god_n grace_n and_o assistance_n not_o to_o give_v way_n to_o this_o distrust_n and_o diffidence_n pray_v god_n to_o assist_v i_o therein_o and_o find_v more_o courage_n than_o former_o so_o far_o as_o i_o know_v my_o own_o heart_n though_o true_o the_o heart_n be_v very_o deceitful_a as_o i_o have_v find_v by_o sad_a experience_n the_o lord_n teach_v i_o and_o enable_v i_o to_o rely_v upon_o he_o with_o more_o courage_n and_o constancy_n and_o more_o to_o live_v by_o faith_n upon_o his_o promise_n than_o former_o i_o have_v do_v indeed_o i_o have_v be_v apt_a to_o fall_v into_o new_a fear_n upon_o approach_a danger_n yet_o upon_o success_n and_o glorious_a deliverance_n i_o have_v oft_o resolve_v never_o to_o distrust_v god_n again_o and_o yet_o my_o naughty_a heart_n have_v deceive_v i_o and_o make_v i_o ready_a to_o faint_v
gracious_a than_o great_a and_o have_v rather_o be_v the_o holy_a man_n upon_o earth_n than_o the_o most_o learned_a the_o most_o famous_a or_o the_o most_o prosperous_a his_o joy_n be_v change_v he_o now_o rejoice_v in_o the_o way_n of_o god_n testimony_n more_o than_o in_o all_o riches_n he_o delight_v in_o the_o law_n of_o the_o lord_n of_o which_o he_o former_o have_v little_a savour_n he_o have_v no_o such_o joy_n as_o in_o the_o thought_n of_o christ_n and_o fruition_n of_o his_o company_n forever_o his_o ear_n and_o fear_n be_v alter_v he_o be_v once_o careful_a about_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o life_n but_o now_o his_o great_a solicitude_n be_v how_o to_o secure_v his_o soul_n and_o everlasting_a concern_v he_o use_v to_o fear_v nothing_o so_o much_o as_o the_o loss_n of_o his_o estate_n reputation_n friend_n or_o pleasure_n nothing_o sound_v so_o terrible_a to_o he_o as_o pain_n poverty_n or_o disgrace_n now_o these_o be_v little_a to_o he_o in_o comparison_n with_o the_o dishonour_n and_o displeasure_n of_o god_n it_o pierce_v his_o heart_n to_o think_v of_o lose_v god_n favour_n or_o of_o be_v part_v from_o his_o bless_a saviour_n his_o love_n run_v a_o new_a course_n and_o he_o like_o the_o ancient_a father_n can_v scarce_o find_v word_n sweet_a enough_o to_o express_v his_o affection_n to_o his_o well_o belove_a jesus_n let_v i_o see_v thou_o o_o light_n of_o my_o eye_n come_v o_o thou_o joy_v of_o my_o spirit_n let_v i_o behold_v thou_o o_o the_o gladness_n of_o my_o heart_n let_v i_o love_v thou_o o_o light_n of_o my_o soul_n appear_v unto_o i_o o_o my_o chief_a delight_n my_o sweet_a comforter_n o_o my_o god_n my_o life_n &_o the_o whole_a glory_n of_o my_o soul_n let_v i_o find_v thou_o o_o desire_n of_o my_o heart_n let_v i_o hold_v thou_o o_o love_n of_o my_o soul_n let_v i_o embrace_v thou_o and_o possess_v thou_o o_o heavenly_a bridegroom_n his_o sorrow_n have_v now_o a_o vent_n by_o the_o view_n of_o his_o sin_n the_o sight_n of_o a_o crucify_a christ_n which_o do_v scarce_o move_v he_o before_o how_o much_o do_v 〈◊〉_d affect_v his_o heart_n his_o hatred_n boil_v his_o anger_n 〈◊〉_d against_o sin_n all_o the_o faculty_n and_o member_n of_o his_o soul_n and_o body_n that_o be_v former_o instrument_n of_o sin_n be_v now_o become_v the_o holy_a utensil_n of_o christ_n live_a temple_n that_o eye_n which_o be_v once_o wander_v wanton_a haughty_a and_o cavetous_a be_v now_o employ_v as_o ave-mary_n weep_v over_o his_o sin_n in_o behold_v god_n in_o his_o work_n in_o read_v his_o word_n in_o search_v for_o object_n of_o charity_n and_o mercy_n and_o seek_v all_o opportunity_n to_o do_v he_o service_n that_o ear_n that_o be_v open_v to_o satan_n call_n and_o like_o a_o vitiate_a appetite_n relish_v nothing_o better_a than_o filthy_a or_o at_o least_o srothy_a unprofitable_a discourse_n and_o the_o laughter_n of_o fool_n be_v now_o bear_v to_o hear_v the_o sweet_a voice_n of_o jesus_n and_o be_v open_a to_o his_o teach_n it_o now_o say_v speak_v lord_n for_o thy_o servant_n hear_v and_o wait_v for_o his_o word_n as_o the_o rain_n which_o be_v sweet_a to_o he_o than_o the_o honey_n and_o the_o hovey_n comb_n or_o his_o appoint_a food_n that_o head_n which_o be_v fill_v with_o carnal_a contrivance_n and_o design_n be_v now_o employ_v in_o matter_n of_o great_a concern_n and_o study_n how_o it_o may_v perform_v the_o will_n of_o god_n his_o thought_n be_v now_o more_o intent_n about_o his_o duty_n than_o his_o gain_n and_o his_o principal_a business_n be_v how_o be_v may_v please_v god_n and_o avoid_v sin_n his_o heart_n which_o be_v full_a of_o pollution_n and_o defilement_n be_v now_o become_v a_o altar_n of_o divine_a incense_n where_o the_o fire_n of_o celestial_a love_n be_v continual_o burn_v and_o from_o whence_o the_o daily_a sacrifice_n of_o prayer_n and_o praise_n and_o the_o sweet_a perfume_n of_o holy_a desire_n ejaculation_n and_o soliloquy_n be_v constant_o ascend_v his_o mouth_n be_v become_v a_o well_o spring_n of_o life_n his_o tongue_n be_v as_o choice_a silver_n &_o his_o lip_n feed_v many_o now_o the_o salt_n of_o heavenly_a grace_n have_v season_v his_o speech_n and_o purge_v out_o all_o its_o corruption_n have_v cleanse_v it_o from_o its_o former_a filthy_a communication_n flatery_a boast_v rail_a lie_a swear_v backbiting_a which_o once_o issue_v out_o like_a flash_n of_o infornal_a fire_n from_o the_o hell_n that_o be_v in_o his_o heart_n his_o throat_n that_o be_v once_o a_o open_a sepulchre_n now_o send_v forth_o the_o sweet_a breath_n of_o prayer_n and_o holy_a discourse_n and_o the_o man_n speak_v in_o another_o tongue_n even_o the_o language_n of_o canaan_n and_o be_v never_o so_o well_o please_v as_o when_o talk_v of_o god_n christ_n and_o the_o glorious_a thing_n of_o another_o world_n his_o â—…outh_n bring_v forth_o wisdom_n and_o his_o tongue_n be_v become_v the_o silver_n trumpet_n of_o his_o maker_n praise_n and_o glory_n to_o conlude_v his_o conversation_n be_v in_o heaven_n and_o the_o new_a man_n take_v a_o new_a course_n in_o his_o life_n and_o practice_n when_o god_n have_v give_v he_o the_o new_a heart_n and_o write_v his_o law_n in_o his_o mind_n he_o forthwith_o walk_v in_o his_o statute_n and_o keep_v his_o judgement_n and_o though_o sin_n like_o a_o wearisome_a and_o unwelcome_a guest_n god_n know_v dwell_v in_o he_o yet_o it_o have_v no_o more_o dominion_n over_o he_o he_o have_v his_o fruit_n unto_o holinese_n and_o though_o he_o have_v many_o a_o fall_n yet_o the_o law_n and_o life_n of_o jesus_n be_v his_o rule_n and_o he_o have_v a_o unfeigned_a respect_n to_o all_o god_n commandment_n and_o keep_v a_o good_a conscience_n willing_a in_o all_o thing_n to_o live_v honest_o and_o without_o offence_n towards_o god_n and_o men._n in_o such_o a_o state_n as_o this_o no_o doubt_n be_v those_o eminent_a christian_n who_o make_v the_o follow_v solemn_a declaration_n of_o the_o gracious_a experience_n which_o they_o have_v of_o the_o exceed_a love_n &_o favour_n of_o god_n to_o their_o soul_n in_o support_v they_o under_o their_o doubt_n and_o difficulty_n and_o afterward_o confirm_v their_o mind_n in_o the_o good_a way_n of_o the_o lord_n they_o have_v find_v the_o lord_n to_o be_v merciful_a and_o full_a of_o goodness_n compassion_n and_o truth_n and_o therefore_o think_v that_o they_o ought_v with_o their_o mouth_n to_o show_v forth_o his_o praise_n both_o to_o stir_v up_o they_o to_o join_v with_o they_o therein_o and_o likewise_o to_o encourage_v poor_a distress_a disconsolate_a christian_n to_o put_v their_o trust_n in_o the_o almighty_a since_o if_o they_o persevere_v sincere_o in_o seek_v his_o face_n he_o will_v certain_o at_o length_n discover_v himself_o unto_o they_o and_o fill_v their_o heart_n with_o joy_n and_o gladness_n and_o it_o may_v be_v reasonable_o hope_v that_o these_o heavenly_a experience_n will_v be_v very_o effectual_a and_o conducive_a thereunto_o since_o they_o consist_v of_o such_o variety_n of_o trial_n temptation_n and_o exercise_n of_o spirit_n that_o we_o can_v scarce_o suppose_v but_o the_o most_o disquiet_v despair_v soul_n way_n here_o meet_v with_o case_n as_o dark_a and_o comfortless_a as_o his_o own_o and_z and_o likewise_o find_v what_o a_o good_a end_n the_o lord_n in_o his_o due_a time_n bring_v all_o the_o trouble_n of_o his_o afflict_a child_n unto_o and_o for_o this_o purpose_n no_o doubt_n they_o be_v first_o collect_v and_o publish_v some_o year_n since_o by_o divers_a faithful_a and_o pious_a minister_n of_o the_o gospel_n in_o and_o about_o london_n and_o though_o they_o have_v omit_v the_o name_n of_o the_o person_n because_o no_o glory_v shall_v appear_v therein_o yet_o they_o be_v then_o know_v to_o be_v christian_n who_o have_v true_o taste_v &_o see_v that_o the_o lord_n be_v gracious_a now_o that_o the_o god_n of_o all_o peace_n and_o consolation_n may_v give_v his_o blessing_n hereunto_o be_v the_o hearty_a and_o earnest_a prayer_n and_o desire_n of_o he_o who_o be_v a_o well_o wisher_n to_o the_o soul_n of_o men._n w._n d._n mercy_n triumphant_a in_o the_o conversion_n of_o sinner_n to_o god_n discover_v in_o the_o remarkable_a and_o gracious_a experience_n of_o several_a eminent_a christian_n i._o experience_n of_o mr._n j._n r._n minister_n of_o the_o gospel_n before_o i_o give_v a_o account_n of_o my_o own_o experience_n i_o shall_v brief_o discover_v the_o duty_n and_o usefulness_n of_o communicate_v christian_n experience_n 1._o it_o be_v a_o duty_n because_o it_o have_v be_v the_o practice_n of_o the_o people_n of_o god_n in_o former_a age_n when_o our_o bless_a saviour_n have_v cleanse_v the_o leper_n matth._n 8.4_o he_o bid_v he_o go_v and_o show_v it_o for_o a_o testimony_n and_o matth._n 28.7_o the_o angel_n
under_o this_o beam_n but_o step_v aside_o and_o so_o pass_v away_o lay_v my_o hand_n thereon_o as_o i_o step_v by_o the_o side_n of_o it_o when_o sudden_o i_o think_v the_o house_n be_v all_o in_o a_o flame_n at_o which_o i_o be_v something_o trouble_v pass_v on_o the_o way_n and_o wonder_v in_o myself_o what_o this_o shall_v be_v till_o i_o be_v overtake_v by_o some_o rude_a malicious_a man_n who_o accuse_v i_o for_o set_v this_o house_n on_o fire_n and_o will_v not_o hear_v i_o speak_v but_o be_v violent_o haul_v i_o away_o to_o prison_n with_o which_o be_v sufficient_o affright_v and_o my_o stesh_n set_v a_o tremble_v i_o awake_v and_o be_v offend_v with_o myself_o for_o be_v so_o much_o concern_v at_o a_o foolish_a dream_n and_o fancy_n so_o it_o be_v yet_o dark_a i_o lay_v i_o down_o and_o fall_v asleep_o again_o and_o waste_v cast_v into_o the_o same_o dream_n again_o exact_o and_o at_o my_o right_a hand_n i_o think_v there_o be_v a_o grave_a ancient_a man_n full_a of_o white_a hair_n like_o wool_n and_o a_o long_a white_a beard_n who_o stand_v by_o i_o and_o say_v cheer_v up_o fear_v not_o for_o the_o lord_n have_v send_v i_o to_o comfort_v thou_o and_o to_o tell_v thou_o that_o he_o have_v choose_v thou_o to_o preach_v his_o word_n and_o the_o gospel_n of_o christ_n which_o be_v the_o staff_n thou_o have_v in_o thy_o hand_n and_o wiâ—…_n this_o staff_n which_o be_v the_o word_n of_o god_n thou_o shall_v walk_v home_o to_o thy_o father_n house_n in_o heaven_n where_o be_v fullness_n of_o joy_n but_o after_o a_o time_n thou_o will_v be_v trouble_v with_o the_o different_a opinion_n and_o way_n of_o man_n and_o seem_v at_o first_o to_o be_v at_o a_o loss_n yet_o the_o lord_n will_v be_v thy_o guide_n go_v on_o and_o as_o thou_o go_v forward_a the_o way_n of_o the_o lord_n will_v still_o appear_v plain_a before_o thy_o eye_n the_o footstep_n thou_o see_v be_v the_o example_n of_o the_o saint_n that_o have_v go_v before_o you_o which_o will_v be_v a_o great_a help_n to_o you_o and_o you_o shall_v walk_v cheerful_o on_o in_o the_o way_n which_o be_v clear_a to_o you_o and_o shall_v see_v no_o other_o but_o yet_o you_o must_v meet_v with_o the_o fair_a house_n on_o the_o left_a hand_n that_o be_v the_o glory_n and_o great_a one_o of_o the_o world_n who_o make_v a_o great_a and_o fair_a show_n to_o man_n as_o if_o build_v high_a but_o they_o must_v fall_v and_o be_v only_o on_o the_o left_a hand_n of_o you_o whilst_o you_o will_v despise_v and_o preach_v against_o they_o and_o turn_v your_o eye_n forward_o to_o go_v in_o the_o way_n of_o god_n without_o turn_v about_o by_o the_o beam_n that_o come_v out_o of_o this_o house_n be_v mean_v the_o power_n and_o opinion_n of_o these_o who_o when_o you_o shall_v cross_v or_o step_v aside_o or_o will_v not_o stoop_v under_o they_o they_o be_v set_v on_o fire_n and_o inflame_v on_o a_o sudden_a but_o be_v not_o trouble_v go_v forward_o although_o they_o send_v after_o you_o say_v you_o have_v bring_v this_o fire_n upon_o they_o and_o though_o they_o false_o accuse_v you_o and_o seek_v to_o hawl_v you_o to_o prison_n for_o this_o fact_n whereof_o you_o be_v altogether_o innocent_a at_o which_o i_o awake_v again_o it_o be_v about_o daybreak_n wonder_v with_o myself_o what_o it_o shall_v mean_v and_o very_o believe_v it_o to_o be_v more_o than_o ordinary_a anâ—_n be_v fill_v with_o confidence_n and_o comfort_n i_o rofe_n up_o and_z writit_fw-la down_o present_o next_o day_n i_o go_v away_o towards_o huntingtonshire_n where_o i_o be_v accept_v and_o entertain_v and_o have_v a_o comfortable_a maintenance_n for_o several_a year_n but_o after_o all_o these_o deliverance_n i_o multiply_v abundant_o in_o gift_n and_o grace_n either_o to_o pray_v expound_v read_v sing_v hymn_n and_o spiritual_a song_n with_o the_o spirit_n and_o understanding_n and_o as_o israel_n exod._n 1._o the_o more_o he_o be_v afflict_a he_o multiply_v the_o more_o so_o bless_a be_v the_o lord_n i_o be_v the_o more_o fill_v with_o the_o spirit_n endue_v with_o strength_n and_o grace_n and_o refresh_v with_o peace_n and_o joy_n the_o more_o i_o have_v suffer_v so_o that_o all_o my_o trouble_n be_v through_o grace_n but_o as_o joseph_n step_n to_o high_a enjoynment_n and_o find_v the_o lord_n so_o abundant_o to_o endue_v i_o from_o above_o and_o to_o qualify_v i_o for_o the_o call_v that_o i_o have_v before_o in_o the_o night_n for_o the_o ministry_n which_o â—ittle_a thought_n or_o imagine_v can_v have_v come_v to_o pass_v my_o friend_n have_v often_o resolve_v on_o the_o contrary_a and_o all_o thing_n so_o fair_o concur_v i_o be_v much_o confirm_v that_o the_o lord_n have_v design_v i_o thereunto_o and_o not_o long_o after_o i_o be_v by_o a_o godly_a people_n earnest_o importune_v and_o at_o length_n grevail_v with_o to_o preach_v the_o gospel_n and_o be_v soon_o know_v about_o the_o country_n so_o although_o i_o have_v ever_o since_o meet_v with_o several_a affliction_n opposition_n and_o trouble_n yet_o many_o have_v give_v testimony_n to_o the_o word_n i_o have_v preach_v in_o divers_a place_n the_o lord_n be_v praise_v to_o the_o great_a refresh_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o towards_o the_o fill_n up_o of_o my_o joy_n when_o i_o shall_v give_v a_o account_n to_o their_o comfort_n at_o the_o great_a day_n of_o the_o lord_n after_o this_o i_o be_v send_v forth_o as_o a_o pastor_n and_o public_a teacher_n by_o the_o church_n and_o i_o know_v my_o ministerial_a commission_n and_o authority_n to_o be_v from_o god_n and_o notwithstanding_o the_o divers_a temptation_n i_o still_o meet_v with_o find_v my_o heart_n full_a of_o corruption_n and_o my_o life_n a_o continual_a warfare_n yet_o i_o bless_v god_n who_o have_v deliver_v i_o in_o divers_a way_n which_o i_o have_v not_o here_o declare_v from_o the_o fraudulent_a gin_n and_o snare_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o who_o have_v call_v i_o out_o of_o darkness_n into_o light_n that_o his_o power_n be_v strong_a in_o i_o than_o any_o that_o have_v be_v against_o i_o and_o i_o be_o the_o better_o provide_v against_o satan_n because_o i_o now_o live_v by_o faith_n in_o the_o son_n of_o god_n above_o the_o letter_n in_o the_o life_n above_o the_o form_n in_o the_o power_n above_o self_n in_o a_o high_a self_n where_o i_o have_v my_o abode_n so_o that_o i_o be_o not_o 〈◊〉_d but_o by_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n it_o be_v that_o i_o be_o what_o i_o be_o i_o have_v provision_n within_o see_v christ_n in_o i_o be_v the_o hope_n of_o glory_n and_o i_o do_v certain_o expect_v salvation_n in_o christ_n jesus_n my_o head_n my_o lord_n my_o elder_a brother_n and_o the_o first_o fruit_n of_o they_o that_o rise_v again_o and_o although_o i_o meet_v with_o daily_a trial_n at_o home_n and_o abroad_o within_o and_o without_o yet_o i_o be_o all_o the_o time_n ascend_v to_o heaven_n the_o same_o way_n that_o christ_n my_o redeemet_n go_v who_o have_v through_o the_o veil_n consecrate_a a_o new_a and_o live_a way_n for_o i_o into_o the_o holy_a of_o holies_n i_o can_v comfortable_o drink_v after_o my_o saviour_n out_o of_o his_o own_o cup_n and_o in_o eat_v his_o meat_n and_o drink_v his_o drink_n i_o can_v take_v gall_n and_o vinegar_n as_o well_o as_o milk_n and_o honey_n and_o i_o account_v the_o enjoyment_n of_o christ_n to_o be_v the_o enjoyment_n of_o all_o the_o excellency_n and_o happiness_n in_o heaven_n and_o earth_n nesther_o do_v i_o doubt_v butâ—_n shall_v appear_v perfect_a in_o his_o righteousness_n be_v pardon_v by_o his_o death_n purge_v by_o his_o blood_n sanctify_v by_o his_o spirit_n and_o save_v by_o his_o power_n and_o to_o be_v glorify_v as_o he_o be_v glorify_v and_o see_v he_o as_o he_o be_v and_o whilst_o i_o live_v and_o breath_n i_o hope_v and_o resolve_v to_o live_v to_o he_o and_o for_o he_o as_o well_o as_o by_o he_o and_o i_o shall_v not_o desire_v to_o live_v one_o minute_n long_o than_o it_o may_v be_v for_o his_o honour_n glory_n and_o service_n which_o i_o beseech_v the_o lord_n of_o heaven_n to_o make_v i_o fit_a for_o and_o faithful_a in_o and_o to_o prepare_v my_o soul_n for_o that_o glory_n which_o be_v to_o be_v reveal_v j._n r._n ii_o experience_n of_o r._n w._n i_o will_v declare_v what_o the_o lord_n have_v do_v for_o i_o first_o in_o my_o youth_n my_o father_n be_v a_o godly_a man_n in_o dublin_n in_o ireland_n bring_v up_o his_o child_n very_o religious_o but_o for_o my_o part_n though_o i_o be_v well_o educate_v and_o instruct_v yet_o i_o be_v very_o disobedient_a be_v young_a and_o headstrong_a and_o refuse_v to_o hearken_v to_o my_o father_n advice_n which_o he_o often_o give_v
those_o that_o trust_v in_o he_o i_o have_v some_o comfortable_a hope_n in_o the_o lord_n mercy_n but_o i_o find_v many_o doubt_n still_o yet_o about_o seven_o year_n slince_n master_n tompson_n make_v a_o sermon_n at_o liverpoole_n then_o besiege_v show_v that_o we_o must_v lay_v hold_v on_o the_o lord_n and_o hold_v fast_o and_o be_v will_v lead_v we_o through_o all_o trouble_n and_o soon_o after_o it_o be_v lose_v and_o many_o be_v kill_v but_o i_o bless_v god_n i_o have_v no_o hart_n at_o all_o which_o do_v much_o comfort_v i_o that_o the_o lord_n of_o his_o mercy_n have_v deliver_v i_o i_o do_v and_o still_o do_v hope_n that_o the_o lord_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o save_v i_o and_o to_o draw_v i_o near_o to_o himself_o which_o together_o with_o some_o other_o deliverance_n of_o the_o lord_n great_a mercy_n i_o take_v great_a comfort_n in_o so_o that_o when_o i_o have_v scarce_o bread_n and_o water_n and_o i_o have_v be_v straighten_v since_o yet_o i_o find_v still_o comfort_n from_o the_o lord_n for_o iny_n self_n and_o to_o be_v a_o instrument_n to_o help_v other_o who_o be_v prisoner_n and_o the_o lord_n then_o and_o since_o have_v by_o his_o spirit_n comfort_v i_o with_o several_a promise_n which_o i_o praise_v god_n i_o can_v apply_v to_o myself_o by_o which_o i_o have_v a_o testimony_n of_o my_o true_a belief_n some_o of_o which_o be_v these_o which_o follow_v gen._n 15.1_o the_o word_n of_o the_o lord_n come_v unto_o abraham_n in_o a_o vision_n say_v fear_v not_o abraham_n i_o be_o thy_o shield_n and_o thy_o exceed_a great_a reward_n i_o have_v find_v the_o lord_n to_o be_v my_o shield_n in_o those_o many_o deliverance_n he_o have_v wrought_v for_o i_o and_o have_v take_v away_o that_o distrustful_a fear_n which_o before_o be_v upon_o i_o and_o therefore_o i_o be_v and_o still_o be_o confident_a he_o will_v be_v my_o exceed_a great_a reward_n psal_n 119.57_o thou_o be_v my_o portion_n o_o lord_n i_o have_v say_v that_o i_o will_v keep_v thy_o word_n the_o same_o god_n wrought_v in_o my_o heart_n to_o say_v with_o david_n that_o i_o will_v keep_v thy_o word_n o_o lord_n and_o though_o i_o can_v as_o i_o shall_v yet_o my_o desire_n be_v to_o keep_v it_o my_o mind_n be_v to_o keep_v it_o therefore_o i_o presume_v with_o david_n to_o say_v thou_o be_v my_o portion_n o_o lord_n john_n 15.5_o christ_n say_v i_o be_o the_o vine_n you_o be_v the_o branch_n he_o that_o abide_v in_o i_o and_o i_o in_o he_o the_o samâ—_n bring_v forth_o much_o fruit_n for_o without_o i_o you_o can_v do_v nothing_o i_o know_v myself_o to_o be_v nothing_o without_o christ_n and_o though_o i_o have_v infirmity_n yet_o my_o heart_n abide_v in_o christ_n and_o therefore_o i_o hope_v to_o find_v righteousness_n and_o salvation_n not_o in_o myself_o but_o in_o christ_n desire_v also_o that_o i_o may_v bring_v forth_o fruit_n as_o a_o branch_n in_o he_o rom._n 8.1_o there_o be_v therefore_o now_o no_o condemnation_n to_o they_o that_o be_v in_o christ_n jesus_n who_o walk_v not_o after_o the_o flesh_n but_o after_o the_o spirit_n i_o find_v myself_o to_o be_v one_o of_o those_o who_o walk_v in_o my_o heart_n in_o the_o way_n of_o god_n to_o which_o i_o be_o lead_v by_o his_o spirit_n and_o not_o after_o the_o flesh_n and_o though_o i_o can_v serve_v god_n so_o well_o as_o i_o will_v i_o do_v as_o well_o as_o i_o can_v and_o be_o trouble_v in_o my_o spirit_n for_o my_o fail_n and_o therefore_o i_o believe_v i_o shall_v never_o be_v condemn_v and_o i_o have_v these_o testimony_n of_o my_o conversion_n and_o sincere_a love_n to_o god_n as_o the_o fruit_n of_o my_o faith_n 1._o the_o lord_n have_v by_o his_o spirit_n manifest_v to_o my_o soul_n that_o the_o wisdom_n of_o the_o spirit_n be_v life_n and_o peace_n and_o have_v wrought_v that_o peace_n in_o my_o heart_n that_o i_o do_v not_o desire_v any_o way_n to_o break_v from_o it_o for_o any_o other_o enjoyment_n whatsoever_o 2._o this_o i_o desire_v to_o be_v build_v upon_o that_o i_o may_v find_v christ_n to_o be_v my_o life_n and_o peace_n 3._o i_o find_v that_o the_o lord_n have_v great_o wrought_v upon_o i_o and_o my_o mind_n be_v full_o affect_v with_o the_o lord_n out_o of_o who_o i_o do_v not_o care_n for_o any_o thing_n that_o be_v in_o the_o world_n 4._o my_o desire_n be_v whole_o to_o serve_v god_n and_o leave_v all_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n as_o vain_a trifle_n for_o the_o enjoyment_n of_o he_o 5._o my_o love_n be_v so_o much_o to_o god_n in_o christ_n that_o have_v he_o i_o know_v i_o have_v all_o thing_n and_o without_o he_o i_o have_v nothing_o 6._o i_o find_v that_o i_o have_v great_a comfort_n and_o be_o much_o refresh_v by_o ordinance_n a_o sense_n of_o the_o spirit_n be_v frequent_o bring_v upon_o my_o heart_n and_o i_o have_v receive_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o comfort_n therein_o when_o i_o have_v be_v weak_a and_o it_o have_v be_v a_o refresh_n to_o i_o when_o food_n have_v be_v scant_o and_o particular_o from_o several_a serinons_n preach_v by_o mr._n whitaker_n mr._n marshal_n mr._n carter_n and_o other_o as_o also_o mr._n p._n dr._n homes_n mr._n w._n and_o at_o other_o meeting_n of_o godly_a people_n 7._o i_o find_v that_o the_o comfort_n of_o the_o ordinance_n be_v more_o sweet_a to_o i_o than_o all_o the_o pleasure_n riches_n or_o friend_n in_o the_o world_n for_o they_o be_v content_v comfort_n and_o so_o be_v not_o worldly_a thing_n 8._o i_o can_v find_v in_o my_o heart_n willing_o to_o die_v and_o leave_v child_n brother_n sister_n and_o all_o the_o world_n beside_o to_o go_v to_o my_o christ_n j._n b._n xxi_o experience_n of_o a._n j._n when_o it_o please_v god_n to_o call_v my_o husband_n from_o i_o i_o be_v for_o a_o time_n aâ—_n exceed_o cast_v down_o and_o trouble_v as_o i_o think_v any_o poor_a creature_n can_v be_v in_o which_o i_o be_v so_o overwhelm_v that_o i_o do_v not_o know_v which_o way_n to_o turn_v myself_o nor_o what_o to_o do_v yet_o be_v seek_v the_o lord_n to_o find_v out_o what_o be_v his_o mind_n in_o the_o thing_n i_o have_v lose_v a_o good_a estate_n have_v no_o body_n to_o look_v after_o my_o business_n have_v many_o injure_v i_o and_o have_v lose_v above_o the_o rest_n a_o pious_a husband_n who_o i_o entire_o love_v yet_o the_o lord_n put_v it_o into_o my_o heart_n that_o all_o this_o be_v to_o wean_v i_o from_o my_o sin_n and_o too_o much_o dote_v upon_o a_o husband_n and_o other_o worldly_a enjoyment_n which_o my_o heart_n be_v too_o much_o take_v up_o with_o therefore_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o strip_v i_o of_o they_o in_o a_o great_a measure_n to_o bring_v i_o near_o to_o himself_o i_o go_v to_o divers_a place_n to_o hear_v several_a minister_n and_o by_o wait_v upon_o the_o ordinance_n to_o seek_v after_o the_o lord_n if_o possible_a i_o may_v find_v comfort_n and_o satisfaction_n to_o my_o soul_n herein_o but_o continue_v in_o much_o affliction_n upon_o my_o spirit_n for_o near_o a_o year_n time_n at_o last_o i_o hear_v master_n jenkins_n preach_v out_o of_o the_o 21._o chapter_n of_o john_n the_o 18._o and_o 19_o verse_n very_o very_o i_o say_v unto_o thou_o when_o thou_o be_v young_a thou_o gird_v thyself_o and_o walkedst_a whether_o thou_o will_v but_o when_o thou_o shall_v be_v old_a thou_o shall_v stretch_v forth_o thy_o hand_n and_o another_o shall_v gird_v thou_o and_o carry_v thou_o whither_o thou_o will_v not_o this_o speak_v be_v signify_v by_o what_o death_n he_o shall_v glorify_v god_n the_o consideration_n of_o which_o dispensation_n from_o god_n to_o he_o draw_v forth_o my_o heart_n to_o be_v content_v with_o whatsoever_o the_o lord_n shall_v be_v please_v to_o lay_v upon_o i_o and_o i_o be_v satisfy_v to_o suffer_v or_o bear_v any_o thing_n in_o that_o it_o be_v the_o lord_n will_v to_o glorify_v himself_o by_o such_o dispensation_n towards_o the_o saint_n and_o the_o lord_n have_v since_o make_v i_o as_o he_o do_v david_n to_o be_v content_v as_o well_o with_o his_o rod_n as_o with_o his_o staff_n and_o then_o and_o since_o i_o praise_v the_o lord_n i_o can_v say_v with_o david_n it_o be_v well_o for_o i_o that_o i_o be_v afflict_v i_o be_v comfort_v with_o that_o example_n of_o â—he_n woman_n in_o the_o gospel_n to_o who_o it_o be_v say_v by_o christ_n that_o it_o be_v not_o lawful_a to_o take_v the_o child_n bread_n and_o cast_v it_o to_o dog_n in_o that_o i_o can_v say_v with_o she_o truth_n lord_n have_v the_o dog_n may_v lick_v the_o crumb_n that_o fall_v from_o their_o master_n table_n i_o remember_v god_n dispensation_n towards_o job_n and_o david_n and_o resolve_v with_o
joshua_n that_o i_o and_o my_o house_n will_v serve_v the_o lord_n and_o although_o it_o be_v a_o bitter_a pill_n to_o i_o to_o bear_v the_o cross_n before_o yet_o now_o my_o god_n have_v make_v it_o easy_a and_o i_o praise_v the_o lord_n through_o his_o grace_n i_o can_v go_v under_o it_o with_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o comfort_n and_o he_o have_v now_o discover_v to_o i_o the_o way_n of_o his_o work_n in_o those_o thing_n which_o before_o be_v wonderful_a strange_a to_o i_o many_o special_a promise_n i_o find_v great_a comfort_n in_o some_o that_o i_o remember_v be_v these_o that_o follow_v viz._n 1_o pet._n 5.6,7_o humble_a yourselves_o therefore_o under_o the_o mighty_a hand_n of_o god_n that_o he_o may_v exalt_v you_o in_o due_a time_n cast_v all_o your_o care_n on_o he_o for_o he_o care_v for_o you_o this_o promise_n i_o have_v find_v of_o a_o truth_n make_v good_a to_o i_o in_o some_o measure_n i_o have_v apply_v it_o often_o and_o have_v find_v the_o comfort_n of_o it_o 2_o con._n 1.29_o my_o grace_n be_v sufficient_a for_o thou_o from_o this_o place_n i_o find_v much_o comfort_n know_v the_o fullness_n of_o so_o glorious_a a_o portion_n jam._n 1.2,3,4_o count_v it_o all_o joy_n when_o you_o fall_v into_o divers_a temptation_n know_v this_o that_o the_o trial_n of_o your_o faith_n work_v patience_n but_o let_v patience_n have_v her_o perfect_a work_n that_o you_o may_v be_v perfect_a and_o entire_a want_v nothing_o this_o administer_v great_a joy_n to_o i_o against_o all_o temptation_n isa_n 55.1_o ho_o every_o one_o that_o thirst_v come_v you_o to_o the_o water_n of_o life_n and_o he_o that_o have_v no_o money_n come_v you_o tâ—…uy_v and_o eat_v this_o give_v great_a comfort_n to_o my_o soul_n at_o several_a time_n though_o it_o be_v so_o much_o cast_v down_o and_o that_o which_o give_v i_o great_a content_n and_o comfort_n be_v the_o seal_n of_o god_n spirit_n in_o my_o heart_n give_v evidence_n of_o peace_n in_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n between_o god_n and_o my_o soul_n by_o these_o testimony_n 1._o my_o love_n to_o god_n be_v so_o that_o i_o be_o confident_a if_o the_o lord_n keep_v i_o with_o his_o spirit_n which_o at_o this_o time_n he_o have_v bestow_v upon_o i_o i_o can_v be_v content_a to_o part_v with_o any_o thing_n or_o lay_v down_o my_o lise_fw-fr for_o his_o glory_n if_o he_o will_v call_v i_o to_o it_o 2._o the_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v so_o toâ—inrich_v my_o soul_n with_o his_o spirit_n that_o i_o loathe_v the_o thing_n of_o the_o world_n when_o they_o will_v draw_v i_o in_o any_o thing_n from_o submit_v to_o the_o motion_n of_o god_n spirit_n in_o my_o heart_n i_o once_o think_v nothing_o can_v have_v draw_v i_o from_o the_o love_n of_o the_o vain_a thing_n of_o the_o world_n but_o now_o i_o do_v as_o much_o disdain_v they_o for_o god_n and_o more_o than_o then_o i_o love_v they_o 3._o i_o desire_v to_o follow_v god_n ordinance_n and_o find_v great_a enlargment_n of_o my_o heart_n to_o god_n both_o to_o and_o in_o the_o ordinance_n and_o particular_o from_o mr._n s._n mr._n w._n and_o other_o from_o who_o many_o thing_n have_v fall_v that_o have_v much_o refresh_v my_o soul_n and_o i_o find_v my_o heart_n in_o duty_n to_o god_n more_o refresh_v than_o in_o any_o thing_n 4._o i_o find_v much_o peace_n in_o my_o conscience_n because_o of_o a_o free_a submission_n which_o his_o spirit_n have_v wrought_v in_o my_o soul_n to_o all_o the_o command_n of_o jesus_n christ_n and_o i_o find_v comfort_n in_o that_o true_a circumcision_n which_o be_v in_o my_o heart_n wrought_v by_o his_o spirit_n 5._o i_o find_v every_o every_o day_n so_o great_a a_o peace_n in_o my_o soul_n and_o such_o comfort_n in_o god_n that_o i_o can_v be_v willing_a and_o i_o bless_v god_n find_v in_o myself_o a_o readiness_n to_o die_v every_o moment_n xxii_o experience_n of_o a._n a._n about_o two_o year_n since_o my_o husband_n be_v sore_o wound_v which_o i_o take_v as_o a_o great_a trial_n not_o have_v above_o a_o month_n to_o go_v with_o child_n and_o i_o be_v trouble_v at_o it_o and_o about_o a_o quarter_n of_o a_o year_n after_o i_o be_v up_o all_o my_o child_n be_v sick_a together_o of_o the_o small_a pox._n yet_o all_o this_o do_v not_o work_v upon_o i_o inward_o so_o sensible_o as_o about_o a_o month_n afterward_o that_o one_o of_o my_o child_n die_v sudden_o when_o i_o think_v he_o have_v be_v near_o well_o than_o i_o say_v the_o wage_n of_o sin_n be_v death_n think_v that_o the_o lord_n have_v warn_v i_o by_o fatherly_a threaten_n before_o but_o i_o do_v not_o hearken_v to_o he_o and_o therefore_o i_o think_v he_o smite_v i_o now_o by_o the_o death_n of_o my_o child_n but_o yet_o i_o can_v not_o enter_v into_o any_o particular_a sin_n that_o god_n shall_v strike_v at_o only_o in_o general_n i_o seek_v the_o lord_n to_o lay_v open_a my_o sin_n to_o i_o i_o be_v very_o much_o trouble_v that_o the_o lord_n take_v my_o child_n so_o sudden_o from_o i_o but_o be_v comfort_v by_o mr._n strong_a in_o some_o sermon_n preach_v from_o the_o word_n the_o church_n to_o paul_n go_v to_o suffer_v at_o jerusalem_n act_v 21.14_o when_o he_o will_v not_o be_v persuade_v we_o cease_v say_v the_o will_n of_o the_o lord_n be_v do_v so_o i_o be_v settle_v pretty_a well_o in_o my_o thought_n till_o sudden_o the_o lord_n strike_v the_o elder_a of_o my_o two_o child_n then_o live_v which_o be_v a_o boy_n my_o other_o which_o be_v a_o girl_n i_o do_v not_o so_o much_o value_n but_o now_o i_o do_v and_o know_v god_n mercy_n in_o spare_v she_o but_o my_o child_n that_o then_o dye_v be_v the_o chief_a comfort_n that_o my_o heart_n be_v fix_v upon_o in_o this_o world_n which_o be_v so_o great_a a_o grief_n to_o i_o that_o i_o have_v sleep_v few_o night_n quiet_a i_o desire_v to_o know_v the_o mind_n of_o god_n what_o he_o will_v do_v with_o i_o sometime_o i_o shall_v have_v difpair_v through_o great_a busfeting_n inward_o but_o that_o the_o lord_n sustain_v i_o sometime_o i_o think_v that_o the_o wrath_n of_o god_n be_v hindle_v against_o i_o think_v never_o to_o have_v comfort_n in_o this_o world_n again_o but_o bless_v be_v the_o lord_n for_o it_o he_o have_v often_o comfort_v i_o in_o this_o that_o i_o have_v think_v he_o do_v it_o in_o love_n to_o i_o yet_o sometime_o i_o have_v fear_v that_o i_o shall_v despair_v and_o that_o the_o hand_n of_o god_n be_v against_o i_o in_o it_o have_v be_v trouble_v with_o thought_n that_o i_o be_v the_o death_n of_o my_o child_n thus_o i_o have_v be_v between_o hope_n and_o despair_v and_o can_v not_o find_v what_o the_o will_n of_o god_n be_v in_o it_o towards_o i_o and_o i_o have_v fear_n that_o the_o hand_n of_o god_n be_v still_o against_o i_o for_o further_a punishment_n because_o i_o have_v have_v many_o temptation_n upon_o i_o in_o low_a thought_n of_o god_n but_o i_o have_v go_v to_o prayer_n and_o desire_v the_o lord_n to_o deliver_v i_o and_o discover_v his_o mind_n to_o i_o in_o every_o thing_n that_o i_o do_v and_o have_v find_v a_o willingness_n to_o part_v with_o any_o thing_n even_o to_o cut_v off_o a_o limb_n or_o any_o thing_n if_o i_o can_v find_v out_o what_o it_o be_v and_o i_o bless_v god_n i_o have_v find_v a_o good_a spirit_n resist_v the_o bad_a yet_o i_o have_v be_v under_o much_o fear_n that_o i_o be_v not_o a_o child_n of_o god_n but_o it_o have_v please_v god_n to_o comfort_v i_o in_o this_o that_o paul_n life_n be_v subject_a to_o temptation_n therefore_o i_o have_v hope_n and_o cast_v myself_o upon_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n resolve_v that_o if_o i_o perish_v i_o perish_v never_o dare_v to_o offend_v willing_o in_o any_o thing_n that_o i_o know_v to_o be_v a_o sin_n yet_o i_o know_v i_o be_o a_o wretched_a sinner_n but_o i_o humble_o desire_v to_o do_v the_o will_n of_o god_n so_o far_o as_o i_o be_o able_a and_o in_o that_o i_o can_v say_v with_o david_n psal_n 42.1_o as_o the_o heart_n pant_v after_o the_o water-brook_n so_o pant_v my_o soul_n after_o thou_o o_o god_n i_o find_v comfort_n with_o he_o to_o say_v why_o be_v thou_o cast_v down_o o_o my_o soul_n and_o why_o be_v thou_o disquiet_v within_o i_o hope_v thou_o in_o god_n for_o i_o shall_v yet_o praise_v he_o for_o the_o help_n of_o his_o countenance_n verse_n 5._o and_o i_o will_v look_v unto_o the_o lord_n with_o the_o prophet_n micha_n i_o will_v wait_v for_o the_o god_n of_o my_o salvation_n my_o god_n will_v hear_v i_o mich._n 7.7_o and_o i_o have_v find_v much_o comfort_n in_o apply_v several_a promise_n to_o my_o
midst_n of_o my_o dishress_n to_o bring_v to_o my_o mind_n these_o word_n the_o spirit_n say_v come_v and_o the_o bride_n say_v come_v and_o every_o one_o that_o will_v come_v drink_v of_o the_o water_n of_o life_n free_o i_o say_v of_o myself_o i_o can_v come_v but_o i_o pray_v lord_n draw_v i_o and_o i_o shall_v run_v after_o thou_o and_o this_o word_n be_v cast_v into_o my_o soul_n by_o the_o lord_n my_o grace_n be_v sufficient_a for_o thou_o only_o do_v thou_o believe_v and_o god_n have_v now_o wrought_v faith_n in_o i_o and_o by_o the_o testimony_n of_o his_o spirit_n have_v seal_v his_o love_n in_o christ_n to_o i_o work_v in_o my_o heart_n so_o to_o love_v he_o that_o i_o have_v cast_v myself_o whole_o upon_o he_o h._n c._n xxxi_o experience_n of_o t._n r._n mariner_n at_o the_o age_n of_o two_o and_o twenty_o be_v in_o the_o strait_n i_o be_v take_v by_o the_o merciless_a turk_n but_o the_o power_n of_o the_o lord_n deliver_v i_o out_o of_o captivity_n by_o a_o miraculous_a way_n unexpected_a the_o lord_n give_v i_o grace_n to_o call_v on_o he_o give_v i_o a_o gracious_a answer_n that_o he_o will_v never_o leave_v i_o nor_o forsake_v i_o in_o the_o war_n with_o france_n on_o the_o coast_n of_o guinea_n i_o be_v take_v by_o a_o french_a man_n of_o war_n and_o be_v great_o afflict_v for_o want_v of_o food_n and_o raiment_n and_o other_o hardship_n which_o they_o lay_v on_o i_o to_o have_v turn_v to_o their_o catholic_n religion_n yet_o the_o lord_n still_o promise_v i_o that_o he_o will_v give_v i_o a_o deliverance_n out_o of_o their_o merciless_a hand_n who_o make_v good_a his_o promise_n to_o i_o in_o a_o short_a time_n bless_a be_v his_o holy_a name_n after_o this_o i_o go_v a_o voyage_n to_o brasile_n and_o our_o ship_n be_v lade_v we_o do_v intend_v for_o portugal_n but_o they_o detain_v we_o a_o whole_a year_n so_o that_o our_o ship_n be_v all_o eat_v with_o worm_n and_o we_o be_v fain_o to_o keep_v pump_v for_o nine_o month_n but_o the_o long_o the_o worse_o for_o in_o our_o passage_n homeward_o we_o can_v not_o tell_v which_o death_n to_o choose_v either_o to_o starve_v or_o to_o be_v drown_v for_o our_o victual_n be_v so_o small_a that_o for_o one_o year_n and_o more_o we_o have_v no_o bread_n in_o our_o ship_n but_o eat_v the_o root_n of_o tree_n make_v into_o a_o substance_n like_o oatmeal_n and_o for_o beef_n one_o ounce_n for_o a_o man_n a_o day_n which_o stink_v so_o that_o none_o can_v have_v eat_v it_o but_o man_n in_o our_o case_n for_o drink_v we_o be_v glad_a of_o a_o pint_n of_o water_n a_o day_n during_o the_o time_n of_o our_o passage_n which_o be_v seventeen_o week_n but_o in_o this_o passage_n we_o see_v the_o wonderful_a work_n of_o god_n for_o he_o send_v we_o for_o three_o week_n in_o seasonable_a time_n fish_n call_v dolphin_n sometime_o two_o or_o three_o in_o a_o day_n and_o as_o we_o grow_v within_o three_o hundred_o league_n of_o the_o coast_n of_o portugal_n and_o our_o provision_n near_o spend_v only_o three_o or_o four_o day_n leave_v and_o all_o our_o man_n sick_a and_o weak_a and_o almost_o starve_v it_o please_v god_n of_o his_o great_a mercy_n to_o send_v we_o a_o ship_n of_o flushing_n a_o man_n of_o war_n who_o prove_v to_o we_o as_o joseph_n to_o the_o child_n of_o israel_n for_o they_o bring_v we_o victual_n which_o save_v our_o life_n and_o after_o they_o have_v take_v our_o ship_n they_o be_v fain_o to_o put_v on_o board_n forty_o man_n to_o keep_v she_o from_o sink_v for_o it_o please_v god_n that_o the_o next_o day_n after_o we_o have_v a_o violent_a storm_n and_o a_o great_a sea_n break_v upon_o she_o so_o that_o we_o think_v she_o will_v never_o have_v recover_v herself_o again_o for_o our_o good_n do_v shut_v all_o to_o one_o side_n and_o so_o she_o be_v say_v to_o go_v until_o she_o come_v to_o flushing_n but_o we_o poor_a creature_n be_v in_o great_a peril_n and_o danger_n of_o our_o life_n and_o yet_o the_o lord_n comfort_v i_o by_o his_o promise_n that_o he_o will_v bring_v i_o to_o shore_n and_o will_v deliver_v my_o life_n from_o death_n and_o my_o eye_n from_o tear_n and_o he_o have_v do_v gracious_o with_o i_o above_o my_o desert_n and_o enable_v i_o above_o my_o strength_n and_o deliver_v i_o above_o my_o hope_n therefore_o will_v i_o praise_v he_o without_o measure_n and_o magnify_v his_o name_n without_o end_n three_o year_n after_o this_o be_v on_o the_o coast_n of_o ireland_n it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o raise_v a_o violent_a storm_n and_o in_o the_o morning_n by_o the_o dawn_n of_o the_o day_n we_o be_v so_o near_o the_o shore_n that_o to_o man_n judgement_n there_o be_v nothing_o but_o death_n approach_v for_o we_o know_v no_o place_n of_o that_o land_n by_o reason_n of_o the_o fog_n and_o rain_n that_o we_o have_v all_o the_o day_n and_o know_v not_o where_o to_o go_v but_o as_o the_o lord_n who_o be_v the_o pilot_n of_o pilot_n do_v carry_v we_o until_o four_o a_o clock_n at_o night_n which_o in_o december_n be_v dark_a and_o then_o we_o come_v to_o a_o great_a high_a head-land_n and_o a_o little_a without_o that_o lay_v a_o great_a sand_n so_o that_o we_o can_v not_o go_v any_o other_o way_n but_o betwixt_o they_o be_v then_o past_o all_o hope_n of_o life_n we_o force_v she_o through_o the_o sea_n so_o that_o it_o break_v over_o our_o head_n insomuch_o that_o we_o can_v not_o tell_v whether_o we_o be_v in_o the_o sea_n or_o the_o bark_n but_o by_o our_o foot_n and_o hand_n for_o we_o can_v not_o see_v for_o the_o violence_n of_o the_o water_n only_o he_o that_o be_v at_o the_o helm_n and_o yet_o in_o the_o space_n of_o a_o quarter_n of_o a_o hour_n we_o be_v in_o a_o safe_a place_n new_o take_v out_o of_o the_o jaw_n of_o death_n so_o that_o i_o of_o all_o man_n have_v great_a cause_n to_o be_v always_o render_v thanks_o to_o my_o god_n for_o his_o continual_a and_o most_o sweet_a favour_n unto_o i_o sinful_a wretched_a and_o empty_a man_n void_a of_o all_o spiritual_a goodness_n furthermore_o i_o be_v after_o this_o in_o a_o ship_n of_o 300_o tun_n lie_v on_o the_o coast_n of_o virginia_n wind-bound_a the_o space_n of_o seven_o week_n it_o please_v god_n to_o visit_v our_o people_n with_o the_o pestilential_a fever_n and_o the_o calenture_n which_o be_v a_o violent_a fever_n or_o madness_n at_o first_o and_o we_o have_v in_o our_o ship_n two_o hundred_o thirty_o sieve_n soul_n at_o that_o time_n and_o it_o be_v the_o will_n and_o pleasure_n of_o god_n that_o we_o have_v a_o hundred_o of_o they_o sink_v at_o one_o time_n so_o that_o we_o have_v but_o few_o to_o look_v to_o the_o sick_a and_o be_v in_o great_a want_n of_o provision_n yet_o we_o know_v not_o whither_o to_o go_v but_o it_o please_v god_n to_o raise_v a_o great_a storm_n so_o that_o a_o great_a sea_n break_v into_o our_o main_a sail_n and_o we_o have_v two_o foot_n water_n between_o deck_n and_o our_o poor_a sick_a people_n cry_v out_o they_o be_v drown_v but_o within_o a_o hour_n after_o by_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n we_o have_v fair_a weather_n and_o fair_a wind_n and_o within_o three_o or_o four_o day_n god_n set_v we_o safe_a on_o land_n to_o our_o great_a joy_n and_o comfort_n that_o before_o be_v almost_o past_a hope_n so_o that_o he_o cause_v we_o to_o say_v with_o the_o prophet_n david_n it_o be_v good_a for_o i_o that_o i_o be_v afflict_v and_o yet_o have_v another_o choice_a mercy_n to_o make_v know_v of_o what_o god_n have_v do_v for_o i_o for_o he_o have_v now_o call_v i_o out_o of_o the_o world_n but_o not_o out_o of_o the_o land_n of_o the_o live_n he_o have_v also_o open_v my_o eye_n and_o make_v clear_a my_o understanding_n with_o mary_n to_o choose_v the_o better_a part_n and_o whatsoever_o the_o world_n or_o satan_n can_v cast_v upon_o i_o it_o shall_v all_o turn_v to_o my_o good_a for_o i_o know_v that_o my_o redeemer_n live_v and_o he_o my_o soul_n desire_v to_o bless_v and_o praise_v which_o i_o trust_v i_o shall_v do_v till_o my_o change_n come_v as_o god_n shall_v enable_v i_o and_o the_o lord_n strengthen_v my_o faith_n xxxii_o experience_n of_o t._n g._n it_o have_v please_v the_o lord_n god_n of_o his_o own_o free_a mercy_n and_o love_n in_o jesus_n christ_n to_o prevent_v and_o keep_v i_o ever_o since_o i_o be_v bear_v from_o many_o thousand_o danger_n and_o yet_o i_o like_v a_o unruly_a creature_n have_v kick_v at_o his_o fatherly_a protection_n and_o run_v into_o many_o gross_a and_o vile_a sin_n the_o first_o gross_a one_o be_v many_o kind_n of_o unlawful_a game_n
not_o at_o that_o time_n take_v comfort_n in_o any_o thing_n and_o have_v i_o not_o be_v with_o child_n &_o affect_v with_o natural_a inclination_n to_o the_o babe_n in_o my_o womb_n i_o have_v be_v in_o danger_n have_v not_o god_n prevent_v i_o to_o have_v destroy_v myself_o for_o i_o have_v some_o temptation_n that_o way_n but_o my_o god_n strengthen_v i_o yet_o before_o i_o be_v bring_v to_o bed_n i_o find_v peace_n and_o comfort_n and_o through_o grace_n have_v such_o settlement_n in_o my_o spirit_n that_o i_o can_v with_o joy_n night_n and_o day_n call_v upon_o my_o god_n believe_o but_o before_o i_o attain_v to_o this_o i_o have_v many_o sore_a conflict_n until_o after_o some_o consideration_n that_o the_o lord_n have_v put_v into_o my_o mind_n as_o first_o touch_v the_o child_n that_o i_o go_v with_o because_o god_n have_v say_v the_o just_a and_o innocent_a slay_n thou_o not_o and_o then_o consider_v the_o innocency_n of_o the_o child_n it_o become_v a_o mean_n to_o stay_v my_o hand_n from_o lay_v violence_n upon_o myself_o yet_o for_o a_o time_n i_o be_v much_o trouble_v in_o spirit_n till_o god_n give_v i_o peace_n from_o these_o and_o other_o scriptureâ—_n promise_n where_o the_o lord_n say_v call_v upon_o i_o in_o the_o day_n of_o trouble_n and_o i_o will_v deliver_v thou_o &_o thou_o shall_v glorify_v i_o psal_n 50.15_o sin_n shall_v not_o have_v dominion_n over_o you_o for_o you_o be_v noâ—_n under_o the_o law_n but_o under_o grace_n rom._n 6.14_o now_o the_o testimony_n of_o my_o conversion_n and_o true_a believe_v in_o which_o i_o hope_v i_o have_v a_o seal_n of_o my_o interest_n in_o the_o lord_n jesus_n be_v these_o 1._o my_o love_n to_o god_n which_o be_v real_a sincere_a and_o hearty_a desire_v he_o above_o any_o thing_n else_o whatsoever_o 2._o my_o rely_v upon_o jesus_n christ_n have_v nothing_o of_o my_o own_o to_o rest_v upon_o i_o fly_v to_o he_o and_z rest_z oâ—_n he_o for_o all_o as_o my_o alone_a saviour_n and_o redeemer_n 3_o i_o delight_v to_o read_v the_o holy_a word_n of_o god_n and_o to_o hear_v or_o other_o wise_a to_o partake_v thereof_o in_o which_o i_o find_v much_o comfort_n 4._o the_o comfort_n which_o i_o find_v by_o enlargement_n of_o my_o soul_n when_o god_n come_v in_o under_o the_o mean_n in_o duty_n and_o the_o loathnesse_n i_o have_v to_o be_v deprive_v of_o the_o ordinance_n 5._o the_o peace_n i_o find_v with_o my_o god_n in_o my_o soul_n which_o be_v sweet_a though_o not_o without_o much_o heaviness_n of_o spirit_n for_o my_o fail_n i_o do_v not_o live_v without_o wane_v and_o change_v in_o my_o spiritual_a life_n and_o faith_n towards_o the_o lord_n for_o sometime_o i_o trust_v god_n with_o all_o and_o at_o other_o time_n i_o meet_v with_o some_o donbting_n yet_o bless_v be_v god_n i_o find_v they_o more_o and_o more_o assuage_v and_o my_o communion_n with_o christ_n every_o day_n more_o sweet_a and_o full_a 6._o i_o doubt_v not_o but_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n my_o redeemer_n will_v so_o support_v i_o through_o his_o grace_n that_o what_o ever_o my_o condition_n have_v be_v or_o shall_v be_v here_o i_o shall_v not_o fail_v of_o salvation_n through_o christ_n in_o heaven_n for_o ever_o l._n p._n xxxv_o experience_n of_o f._n p._n i_o have_v be_v trouble_v at_o the_o thought_n of_o my_o corruption_n and_o wretched_a condition_n i_o have_v former_o have_v some_o doubt_n touching_n the_o scripture_n whether_o they_o be_v truth_n or_o not_o but_o have_v be_v since_o trouble_v that_o i_o make_v those_o foolish_a doubt_n to_o question_n god_n word_n and_o be_v so_o wound_v in_o my_o conscience_n for_o my_o sin_n therein_o that_o i_o fear_v i_o shall_v be_v damn_v for_o it_o because_o i_o think_v it_o be_v a_o sin_n that_o god_n will_v not_o pardon_v i_o have_v also_o strange_a thought_n about_o the_o sinful_a way_n of_o ungodly_a people_n and_o consider_v how_o loose_o people_n live_v i_o and_o temptation_n to_o persuade_v i_o that_o sure_o there_o be_v some_o easy_a way_n to_o heaven_n then_o the_o scripture_n have_v lay_v down_o or_o then_o i_o have_v learn_v but_o for_o these_o evil_a thought_n of_o i_o i_o have_v be_v so_o afflict_v in_o my_o spirit_n that_o i_o think_v i_o be_v a_o damn_a wretch_n i_o have_v be_v tempt_v by_o these_o blasphemous_a thought_n against_o the_o lord_n which_o have_v so_o afflict_v i_o that_o sometime_o i_o fear_v the_o devil_n will_v fetch_v i_o away_o and_o carry_v i_o to_o hell_n and_o i_o have_v think_v sometime_o that_o sure_o god_n can_v not_o in_o justice_n pardon_v such_o sin_n as_o i_o have_v commit_v i_o have_v also_o be_v tempt_v to_o make_v away_o myself_o but_o the_o lord_n god_n put_v i_o in_o mind_n to_o consider_v that_o it_o will_v not_o give_v i_o ease_v or_o comfort_n but_o be_v the_o way_n to_o enter_v into_o endless_a misery_n and_o thus_o i_o lay_v afflict_v with_o a_o most_o sad_a &_o trouble_v some_o spirit_n for_o about_o a_o year_n yet_o though_o with_o little_a hope_n from_o my_o present_a sense_n i_o have_v desire_n that_o god_n will_v save_v i_o and_o some_o groan_n i_o have_v after_o he_o and_o in_o his_o time_n which_o be_v best_a i_o begin_v to_o find_v enlargement_n of_o heart_n from_o god_n and_o a_o great_a longing_n for_o christ_n which_o increase_v through_o the_o work_n of_o his_o glorious_a power_n so_o that_o i_o think_v i_o can_v have_v be_v content_a to_o have_v go_v through_o all_o the_o misery_n in_o the_o world_n to_o have_v enjoy_v he_o and_o in_o my_o sleep_n i_o dream_v that_o i_o see_v my_o saviour_n lie_v in_o a_o grave_a and_o after_o again_o i_o see_v he_o rise_v from_o death_n when_o i_o awake_v and_o have_v some_o thought_n about_o my_o dream_n i_o find_v comfort_n in_o my_o soul_n and_o begin_v more_o sweet_o to_o hope_n that_o christ_n jesus_n die_v for_o my_o sin_n and_o be_v rise_v again_o for_o my_o justification_n but_o the_o devil_n who_o go_v about_o like_o a_o roar_a lion_n do_v still_o tempt_v i_o so_o that_o i_o be_v again_o ready_a to_o despair_v for_o my_o former_a evil_a thought_n and_o i_o be_v afraid_a that_o satan_n will_v have_v i_o and_o i_o doubt_v that_o god_n have_v no_o part_n in_o i_o which_o cause_v i_o to_o weep_v much_o and_o i_o be_v exceed_o trouble_v and_o sometime_o think_v that_o very_o i_o hear_v the_o devil_n come_v in_o a_o whirlwind_n for_o i_o and_o so_o terrify_v be_v my_o conscience_n that_o from_o the_o thought_n of_o the_o wrath_n which_o i_o fear_v i_o can_v have_v wish_v myself_o a_o beast_n a_o dog_n or_o any_o thing_n because_o their_o misery_n will_v have_v a_o end_n but_o aftermany_a comfortable_a discourse_n with_o friend_n and_o read_v some_o godly_a book_n that_o come_v to_o my_o hand_n the_o lord_n god_n in_o time_n deliver_v i_o from_o those_o temptation_n and_o have_v since_o comfort_v i_o with_o these_o promise_n to_o the_o great_a joy_n of_o my_o heart_n though_o some_o time_n i_o have_v not_o be_v without_o some_o doubt_n the_o lord_n have_v say_v be_v content_a with_o such_o thing_n as_o you_o have_v for_o he_o have_v say_v i_o will_v never_o leave_v thou_o nor_o forsake_v thou_o so_o that_o i_o may_v bold_o say_v the_o lord_n be_v my_o helper_n heb._n 13.5,6_o the_o lord_n say_v sin_n shall_v not_o have_v dominion_n over_o you_o rom._n 6.14_o this_o have_v often_o give_v i_o much_o comfort_n and_o keep_v up_o my_o soul_n when_o i_o have_v be_v ready_a to_o despair_v and_o christ_n say_v i_o will_v pray_v the_o father_n and_o he_o shall_v give_v you_o another_o comforter_n that_o he_o may_v abide_v with_o you_o for_o ever_o even_o the_o spirit_n of_o truth_n john_n 14.16,17_o and_o i_o have_v this_o testimony_n of_o my_o interest_n in_o christ_n by_o faith_n wrought_v by_o his_o bless_a spirit_n in_o i_o 1_o i_o see_v such_o a_o frailty_n in_o my_o flesh_n that_o except_o the_o lord_n send_v his_o holy_a spirit_n to_o enable_v i_o i_o can_v do_v any_o thing_n of_o my_o duty_n to_o god_n of_o myself_o it_o be_v the_o spirit_n of_o the_o lord_n and_o not_o any_o thing_n in_o i_o that_o be_v the_o foundation_n of_o my_o comfort_n 2._o i_o have_v have_v many_o time_n if_o my_o heart_n deceive_v i_o not_o clear_a testimony_n and_o evidence_n that_o i_o love_v god_n more_o than_o any_o thing_n else_o and_o desire_v he_o above_o all_o 3._o i_o desire_v much_o to_o hear_v the_o word_n and_o be_o trouble_v that_o sometime_o it_o do_v not_o so_o pierce_v into_o my_o heart_n as_o i_o desire_v 4._o i_o have_v sometime_o such_o sweet_a comfort_n and_o enlargement_n in_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o find_v much_o peace_n with_o god_n thereby_o which_o i_o