I was not one by adherency though by imputation Antinomianism was not inherent in me or adhered to by me this name in plain terms is liberty to sin as the Divel nick names Saints so he nick names the doctrine of grace too and sin which is like himself he puts upon is a nick-name garment greater is he that is within Saints then he that is in the world Saints garment is Jesus Christ and nothing can rear or rent or defile this garment Saints clothing is the purest white no dirt throwed upon it can soil it oh Saints rejoyce with me shall we be found worthy to enter in at the straight gate and plucked into the house by the hand of the Angell of the new Covenant when they without shall be stricken with blindness and so not able to find he door Why must a Zoar be preserved for us and a Sodom set on fire Why must some be vessels of dishonour and some of honour some that are high-wayes and lyers about in the hedges fetched in to sup with Christ and the grave ones of the world must not so much as have a taste of Christs dainties Fâ—ee grace and nothing but free grace makes us to differ from others oh let the redeemed of the Lord say so let not Sion boast of her own righteousness which she hath done but let her look by whom she hath her dignity who strikes off all self-boasting the more free grace is apprehended the more self-righteousness is reprehended the creature can never learn the lesson of humiliation and self-denial till it hath been in the School of free grace that is the free School where the best learning is to be had the poor and fatherless here find mercy and here the Governor of this Free-school receiveth every poor Orphane he refuseth none that comes though they have not one friend to make suit for them nay such are soon entertained that trust wholly to this great Governors mercy they have the best learning here is no respect of persons but the poor begger that lyeth in the street that knows not where to have a bit of bread lath nothing but a clothing of tatters to outward view a very miserable creature such a one more respected then a rich Dives that goeth in his velvet and diadems of gold very day oh what manner of love is this that makes no difference between fools and learned ones preferring ideots before the wisdom of the world making the ignorant and erring Spirit to have the greatest understanding Surely such must needs magnifie free grace oh how low is that creature in its own eyes that lives in the spirit and fetcheth nothing from its own free will or from any work of his own but all from Christ he sticks no flower in his bosom but that which none can snatch from him his walks of delight is in no garden but where he may see his beloved walk before him the Saint that is throughly spiritual loves dearly to walk inclosed in the arms of its Saviour and to be imbraced by him and kissed with the kisses of his mouth for his love is better then wine the spirits of wine hath a great efficacy in quickning those that faint and sound away but of a stronger efficacy is divine love it makes dead souls live yea though they are as a tree twice dead and plucked up by the roots dead once and plucked up and set again and again and pruned and dunged and it becomes withered dead though sin hath killed the soul so as to make it wither no convictions no legall promises those are such promises that are made with conditions no such striving can fetch life into one dead in sin and trespasses all strugling and striving in this case is but like the pains which the gardner takes with dead plants that passeth his skill to recover but what the skill of the Gardner cannot reach Divine love can the dead withered soul though to its own view and to others view it appear irrecoverable Divine love lifts this dead soul though it hath lain in the grave of sin that in the thoughts of others it s quite putrified as they thought of Lazarus body Let not dead souls be discouraged for there is life enough for them when not appehended by them once my note was nothing but sorrowful complaining of a dead seared stony hard heart a Spirit I though nothing could have stuck upon it or have soaked into such a heart so hard as it was often my expression my heart nothing can possible enter it for it is as hard surely as the neather mil-stone I could not tell what to liken it to I thought it harder then any thing yet though it was very hard melting love wrought upon it Now I wrought from life and not for it the spirit makes every duty a pleasure whereas I sorely tugged to get up my heart in a duty when I looked upon it as a task which I must do and provide straw too it was a burden I greatly groaned under when I was put upon duties by a command and I had no frame of spirit suitable nor no words I had nothing to fulfill my task and yet I was prest to do it or else the threatning reached me and terrified but when my Mediator came he overcame all my enemies that kept me under and shewed them to me dead and drowned in that red Sea his blood which victory was a long time accomplished before I saw it but when Christ made known to me my freedom bringing me out of Egypt then I offered sacrifices without interruption now I had that brought to hand which wrought all in me and for me when duty is accompanied with priviledge there is then a delight in duties I was mightily taken with priviledge and it was meat and drink to me to be much in hearing praying and meditating and conversing and I could do little else for a year I now met with God in duties I made them not my Comforters but Christ in them and as they were priviledges given me by him so I enjoyed them giving Christ the preheminence which was due to him I having all from the father not of debt but by gift those that say they enjoy all from him they give all to him and rejoice in him as their onely Portion My Dear bosom friends with whom I have fellowship in the spirit from that ingagement of love that is upon me I am strongly moved to declare to you the sundry dealings of God with me the time of bondage and freedom from that bondage hath been declared though but in short Now after this hot Sun shine there arose a black cloud which appeared small at the first rising but it still spread bigger and bigger till it filled the heavens with blackness the heaven in which God had set up his throne in which the King of glory took delight which is the Saints this heaven was covered with clouds and this dark cloud had its
I will raise thee up and thou shalt live in my sight and with a full perswasion that I should recover but I said Lord this Scripture holds out my resurrection or the restoring of the Jews I was answered it was to manifest my recovery but this departed from me and the glory of God shined exceeding bright and through the sweet odour of the savour of the spirit which Scripture compares to ointment which mightily drew out my love to my Saviour and to the Saints debasing and loathing my self and my love was drawn out to the greatest persecutors of our times I could have lain under their feet to have done them good and many Scriptures were presented and a three-fold interpretation given on them Scriptures never appeared so sweet to me as they did then and as many as the spirit brings to my remembrance I shall relate Further on the Lords day after so indeed it was to me a Lords day in the fore-noon as I lay in the strength of the fever burning very much within but without like a clod and my stomack being shut up not able to take the creatures nor to hear them spoken of my stomack was so weak that all that fortnight I lay and took nothing but small beer a little juice of cherries or conserve of currants I took a little sometimes for cooling of me I did so burn in my throat and stomack I remained thus like a dead carcase in respect of bodily strength but filled with the spirit and as I lay on the said Lords day this Scripture came in with a very great strength in the middest of Divine contemplation it was spoken this second time after two daies I will revive thee then I was drawn forth to ask of God his mind to his hand-maid from that Scripture and my request was thus answered one day with me saith the Lord is as a thousand and a thousand as one day but then I said Lord reveal the meaning of two daies and it was presently given in the two daâ—es are two weeks after two weeks I will recover thee a perswasion came in with great confidence in believing that at that season God unloosed the bands of my spirit he would unloose the weakness of my body though contrary to reason it was even that night two weeks that my soul was set at liberty that my body should be healed and God spake thus to me did I not tell thee I would work a wonder in Israel and did I not say unto thee if thou wouldst believe thou shalt see the glory of thy God these Scripture languages were spoken to me in the spirit encouraging me to believe though the body should grow weaker as it did afterward and after the second appearing of God I desired rather to be out of the body then in it and when I breathed forth to God how I should live in the body it was answered me to the glory of thy God is not my grace sufficient for thee and art thou afraid to live in the body for fear of the strength of corruptions Sin shall not have dominion over thee for thou art not under the Law but under Grace and through the strength of thy Saviour thou shalt be able to conquer all thy enemies and get the victory over the greatest Giant-corruption and temptation therefore be not faithless but believing it is for my glory thy recovery then I said Lord do with me what thou wilt if thou beest glorified in it whatsoever thy servant suffers it matters not when the Lord told me of that glory he would have in my recovery my spirit was satisfied in urging it to God any more to take me out of the body Now I looked for a further unfolding of God in this thing now I knew it should be further sealed to me but I knew not the time when God would seal it to me so that when my friends desired me to settle things concerning outward affairs nothing but death being expected and feared by them and to my own sence and feeling and yet believed otherwise and I desired my friends to wait a while for I told them I believed a recovery and â— told them upon what grounds but I bid them be silent for if God had a purpose to take me hence he would reveal it to me but I told them surely I should be raised here by a mighty power for I knew it must be a great power to raise up one so dead in the body that could not rise out of my bed all that fortnight but as five lifted me out one night and I was so extream earthy even as lead that they had much ado to lift me into bed again and I slept not but talked night and day the pourings forth of the spirit was such when I did slumber and that was but little but then I felt my pain and weakness very much now the greatest extremity did not affright me though sometimes my bones hath been shaken in my flesh my joints unloosed and sometimes great pains as if my bones had been pulled asunder such torture hath seized upon me and sick fits that the parties which watched by me hath bowed me double to keep breath in me when I have been cold and my breath cold within me and to sence a breathing out my last breath so that my friend that watched with me desired to call other friends but I intreated her to wait much ado I had to speak yet at that instant God told me my breath should be given me and the vitals of my spirits restored that were sinking the Lord gave me faith to believe and I found at that time the power of the most high And the next day about the same hour I had an extream fit of shaking to the amazement of those that stood by and I desired a friend to raise me up in the bed and as she held me she askt me why I shook so I told her the earthly Tabernacle must be shaken and God would lay it lower before he restored it that so his power may be made manifest which he spake of at the beginning of my weakness and this extremity came on me after the second perswasion given me by my God from that Scripture spoken of which came to me on the first day of the week On the third day of the week the Lord sent me Mr. Greenhil Minister of Gods word who assoon as I beheld I could not but say behold the man of God such joy was in my spirits which I could not but utter forth when I saw the Saints I was mightily filled with rejoycing and after I had declared those Revelations given into my spirit to this Minister of God and other Saints that were then by and the Spirit came with such a mighty gale upon me that though I desired to be slow to speak and swift to hear yet then I could not when they desired me to tel them of the distemper of my body when I
praised and was gone I was troubled that he did not more question me and bring arguments against me for trial I know true gold is made more manifest by the touchstone and it is more purified in the Furnace and appears from dross But to tell you of the second coming of this Embassador of Christ now I beheld the Spirit of God moving in him to speak in a soul-searching manner though he told me I might be deluded and also telling me that many had been deluded and he therefore Exhorted me to have a care that I believed upon good grounds and told me I might make use of the means and partake of the creatures and to look up to God to give me sleep many Exhortations and Examinations he used to me which I much rejoyced in for my faith was the more confirmed and while I was upon the Tryal God came in with a mighty strength telling me that I was not deluded but he would raise me without means by his mighty power as he did Lazarus out of the grave at my first sickening I did use the means I took things but they did me no good I was the more tortured and felt my self the worse because God came not in the means it took no Effect God had a further work to shew to his people And the Lord bid me tell these things in Gath and publish them in Ashkelon fear not saith God to tell it to the greatest Monarch of the world if thou beest called to it For I thy God am with thee And I saith the Lord will strengthen thee in all difficulties that thou shalt meet withall But now I shall tell you Saints how God presented himself to me in many similitudes which I never heard mentioned before by any they were brought immediately from God and Scripture presented that I never took notice of before and God sweetly interpreted them to my spirit God first filled me with contemplation about the Trinity which was sweeter then the hony and the honycomb to my spiritual pallat it came in such a Majesty to me that I am not able to set it forth it swallowed up my spirits But in desiring to declare it to the Saints this similitude of a Tree was set before me God the root his Son Christ the Tree the Spirit the Sap and as the Root and Tree and Sap are but one in a natural sence for the Sap and Tree looked on in the Root there is but one substance which lies hid till such time as it puts forth it self in a Tree and then the Tree appears but it is covered with a Bark or Rinde and the Sap is discovered running from the Root through the Tree into the Branches which Sap is not so discovered as when the bark is peeled off the Tree yet then it cannot be discerned in the nature of it So the Father Son and Spirit are one in that glorious essential incomprehensible Being making themselves forth in thee 3 Joh. 5.7 God lies hid in the Root man is not capable to know what he is no more then man is capable to know what sweetness is in the Root of a Tree while it lies hid till it appear in the Tree and Sap so when this one God appears in the Tree the Lord Jesus then his sweetness begins to break forth and is made forth more by the Sap the Spirit But I desired the Lord to shew me this similitude by Scripture in which he opened the Trinity by way of Root Tree and Sap God is said to be love and he that dwelleth in God dwelleth in love So that from this God appeared as the Root of mans happiness being infolded in the first person in Trinity from Eternity by this Root which the Scripture calls love the first glorious person in Trinity appearing in the second person the Tree But how is he called a Tree in Scripture It was presently presented before me that he was that Tree spoken of in Paradise that Tree of life Gen. 2. But how may the spirit be called sap from Scripture Thus it is called a holy anoynting it is compared to Oyle To the Oyntment Psal 133.2 which was upon Arons head and ran down upon his beard and so to the skirts of his garment And from the word Oyl or Oyntment so the third glorious person in Trinity is likened unto sap and thus it appeared to me that as the sap runs from the Root through the Tree into the branches so the Spirit the holy Oyle runs from out of the Root which is the Father through the Tree which is the Son into the Branches For so the Saints are called in Scripture Branches of the Vine Christ Jesus and as the Sap drops into the branches and twigs of a Tree which causes them to live and appear green and the efficacy of this Sap produces fruit it is very Vertual it descends of its vertue into the leavs which else would wither as for instance in the fall of the leaf when the Sap returns into the Root the leaves wither and fail And as there is a Vertual Union of the Root Tree and Sap and Branches and Fruit and Leaves so there is a glorious Union and Congruity that the Saints have in the holy Trinity their life is in the Root and it appears in the Tree and manifested by the Sap to the Branches the Elect appear dead till the Spirit which is the sap quickneth them and no fruit is brought forth though they may have a profession yet it is but as dead leaves which falls and crumbles to dust So that from the spirit slows sweet waters it produces sound fruit it makes also professors green and lively and as when the bark is pilled of the Tree the Sap is more discerned so when the humanity of Christ is taken from the Saints view then the spirit was more discerned Therefore says Christ it is expedient that I go away that so you may have a fuller sight of the Spirit He that believes as the Scripture hath said Out of his belly shall flow rivers of living waters this spake he of the spirit which those should receive that believed that was not yet given because Christ was not yet glorified this Scripture appeared very glorious to me and I set the efficacy of it on my spirits and God told me that the time was not yet far off ere he would pour out his Spirit upon his Children and take away that skin of formality that hath lain so long upon their sights and that drowsiness or sleepiness of spirit that hath seized upon them and baptize them with the holy Spirit which should break forth as fire among them so that they shall be filled with the Song of the Lamb and they shall behold their King of Salem which is King of peace riding on his white horse of Triumph Conquering and to Conquer The Saints shall overcome by the Lamb by the word of his testimony Thus mightily God came into my spirits which was
A LEGACY FOR SAINTS BEING SEVERAL EXPERIENCES of the dealings of God with Anna Trapnel In and after her Conversion written some years since with her own hand and now coming to the sight of some friends they have judged them worthy of publike view Together with some Letters of a latter date sent to the Congregation with whom she walks in the fellowship of the Gosspel and to some other FRIENDS London Printed for T. Brewster at the three Bibles in Pauls Church-yard near London-House 1654. To all that fear the Lord under what form soever who have fellowship with the Father and his Son Jesus Christ The Church of God usually meeting in Great Al-Hallows London whereof Mr. John Simpson is Teacher sendeth greeting SOme Experiences of Anna Trapnell our deaâ— Sister now Prisoner in Bridewel coming to our hands we have perused and considered And although the various and wonderful dealings of God with her soul known to many of us for divers years last past are not herein mentioned as she intended but was prevented by her present troubles nevertheless by our own hearts we judge this small Legacy will be of much price and use to the Lords people And seeing the malice of Satan and hard measure from men have endeavoured to bury her both name profession and if possible spirit in her whilest she yet lives and â—e think leans on her Lords bosom Therefore is this Legacy now administred which otherwise had waited the death of the Testatrâ—x as she fully purposed All we conceive necessary to be said by us concerning the Legacy it self is onely to give our Testimony so far as we have knowledge as our duty to God and to his hand-maid obligeth us to the reality of the Experiences therein mentioned whereof divers of us have been eye and ear witnesses and were with our Sister at several seasons when she was under those particular dealings of God We purposely forbear to enlarge our commendations because we apprehend this kinde of Subject is always best commended by that presence and efficacy of God which he pleaseth to afford and also because we would not in the least degree infringe your liberty to tast and try what spirit and excellency is in it and so to judge freely yet with seriousness as having to do with God therein what entertainment and esteem it deserves we are also engaged by our duty to give you some account of the person by whom this Lagacy is bequeathed who is indeed under much reproach and misrepresentation among all sorts of people and we apprehend we might without offence say made a spectacle to the whole Land being rendred a Contemner of Scriptures of Ordinances and of late as one of a vile Conversation For her present imprisonment at Bridewel if it were not so intended cannot but suggest extream scandal and viciousness touching her to all that hear thereof though we that know her and the cause for which she is laid there are not ashamed of her or it and hope we never shall be which is all we shall now say to that Onely give us leave briefly to impart for your satisfaction what we have known of her for we have had communion with her in the light love spirit and ordinances of the Gospel divers years and to this day also so far as we can obtain it for the restraint she is now under and are able to say in opposition to what she is aspersed with That 1. She hath the Scriptures in very great regard as that holy word which hath flowed from God by men who had extraordinary inspiration and ability to give it forth according to what hath been apprehended among the most sober and spiritual Saints from time to time concerning the same with the excellency whereof she professeth her self much ravished making it her business to study and to live in the power and spirit of them whose profession and principles having suffered many assaults and temptations herein she remains exceedingly confirmed in her perswasions of and love to the truth holiness authority and precious usefulness of the Scriptures 2. She is for the spiritual exercise of all the ordinances of God to the uttermost degree of light she enjoys against Ranters profane Notionists and all sorts of men of scornful opinions to the contrary for which we have not onely her word but her practice with us which doth best express any ones principle And touching the Ministry because in relation thereunto also a very hard sentence is past upon her there is this to be offered in vindication of her that her principle is plain and firm for it and that she doth much love and reverence own all Ministers that enter in by the door and have the true unction her dissatisfaction is onely to that standing and institution which hath been by Bishops it being derived from Rome or such as are evidently after that pattern and that also without the least prejudice to the grace of God in any 3. Her conversation for any thing that ever came to our knowledge we must testifie hath been very beautiful and unblameable exceeding unworthy of those black mouths which have been opened against it and of those injurious hands she hath fallen into We might say much of her tender conscience her sweet meek sober exemplary temper and impartial love to all Saints and also her freedom and desire to have communion with them upon that old large and universal principle of Saintship and union with Christ wherein we know her to be very excellent as some letters of her own which we have thought our duty to make publike will more effectually declare then we are able This short Testimony we have thought fit to send abroad with this Legacy and Letters of our dear Sister for the exoneration of our duty to God to her and to your souls which we would not have indisposed by any hard thoughts that reports may beget concerning the person whose it is to reâ—p the fruit and refreshment which our god blessing may redound thereby Dated the 9. of the 5. moneth 1654. Signed in the name and by appointment of the congregation in the absence of our Teacher by Iohn Proud Elder Caleb Ingold Decon Reader thou art desired before thou readest this small Legacy to take notice of these few faults and mend them which by reason of the difficulty of the Copy being old written and torn have escaped the Press AS in page 15. line 6. for Aninomian read Antinomian p. 24. l. 19. r. the soul is made p. 30. l. 1. for from r. for p. 31. l. 31. for men r. me p. 33. l. 27. for 3 Joh. r. 1. p. 35. l. 8. for words r. worlds p. 38. l. 31. for the 40. of Isa r. 29. p. 41. l. 2. for Ioh 1. 14. r. 14. and 1â— A LEGACY FOR SAINTS SOme experiences of the workings of God in legall convictions and in the time of childhood First When a child then the Lord awed my Spirit and for the
with the flame of Divine love there appeared now no smoak but a clear flame nothing now before me but christal appearances oh how my soul was enamoured with Christ Earth was now gone and heaven come the unclean spirit dispossessed the pure spirit now possest taking my soul from the dunghill and setting it upon the throne my naturall food I tasted not till now it was bitter to my taste but oh now every bit of bread I eat how sweet was it to my taste Christ sweetned every creature to me oh how sweet was the feasts of love that my soul was made partaker of in very creature oh what a rebound doth Divine love make in the soul I could not keep love in it would flame forth into a declaration I must now tell Saints what I had now received from the spirits testimony and that they might praise with me having mourned with me I told them I had now seen him whom my poor spirit doubted I should never have beheld I called to others to come and taste how sweet and loving Christ is to sinners now Sermons appeared living to me where Christ was preached most to sinners I delighted most in such a Ministry and still went away with melody in my heart for a whole year after I was sealed up to the day of Redemption I had exceeding raptures of joy very frequent little or no intermissions no questions or doubtings in the least measure but my seat was still for constancy a seat of joy and spirituall mirth though sometimes the golden trumpet sounded higher and sometimes lower yet it still was sounding and caused an eccho to follow it A sore combat after the Spirits testimony THe time of that glorious sealing me was after that testimony in which my spirit was set at liberty that day before mentioned being the first day of the week and year 1642. upon the third day of that week and year my occasions called me to Stepny where I lodged at my Uncles all night and my Aunt coming up into the Chamber to me she said to me Cosen the Lord hath taken your mother from you now labour to be married to Christ you have nothing to take up your time but to labour for Christ I answered I hope I am married to Christ but as soon as my Aunt was gone down stairs from me the Lord spoke to me and said I have made thee as sure of salvation as I am God in heaven why didst thou say thou hopest and didst not rather tell that thy God had assured thee that Christ was thine thou having such a clear testimony of the spirit witnessing with thy spirit in such a bright light of glory that thou couldst not but assent to it thou shouldst now have declared it Satan presently was let loose upon me as soon as the Lord had spoken these words which I am sure was from the Lord they came in such Majesty that caused all my joints to tremble and sore perplexed I was Satan buffetted and my own heart strongly set upon me perswading me that I had fallen from grace and I had denied the Spirits work in me and now I was nearer to perishing then ever very hideous thoughts I was filled with and nothing but blackness before me now I had sinned against the spirit and this was more dreadfull to me then all the time of my bondage for I thought now the unclean spirit would have torn me a pieces I was so terrified I could not go to bed till midnight but walked about the chamber hearing nothing nothing but damnation and hell set before me I thought my torment to be as great as any of the damned wherein it was a terrible hell to me for the time which time the indeared love of the Father suffered not to be long it was not above three hours my heavenly Father knew had that extremity of spirit lasted long it would have consumed my vitall spirits but as love moved my Father to speak kindly to my distressed spirit in taking away this unexpressible torment he gave me unexpressible glory and refreshing And when I gave up all that I had received for lost at the very nick of time and this night that was so dreadful to me before the morning light my spirit was full of light and a greater shining light then I saw before I now beheld And the spirit speaking that word in great power Christ is thine and thou art his and the gates of hell shall never prevail against thee all the power and policy of the devil shall not hurt thee so as to deprive thee of thy Saviour I had the representation of a seal set upon the wax the spirit as fire made my stony spirits pliable for it to leave its mark or impression and stamp was set on my spirit now I felt saw and heard that I never did before oh that Aâ—ras of glory that now was my clothing now was I made like my Saviour a crown given me not made with pearls or rich diamonds but far richer not to be valued earth cannot wear this crown it s onely the heaven of God that must injoy this prerogative it s those that are made Kings and Priests unto God that are thus honoured oh how transcendently glorious is the true sealing of the Spirit sure no tongue is able to speak it out the pen of the readiest writer cannot write this it may give some hints of this seal but for depth length and breadth who can give a full description or relation of it it is a thing impossible to be published Oh then you sealed ones come admire with me who can tell forth Sions glory Could not Paul tell what he saw in the third heavens How then shall we declare our heavens glory when we know not whether we are in the body or out Our joy is such when the spirit takes us up we know not where we are for that present though afterward it may be we are found in the Isle of Pathmos our bodies may be found amongst the Babylonians yea and our spirits too our communion taken away but not our union no doubting or questioning concerning that though there may be much dissertion and darkness as I shall tell you God willing he giving me life to accomplish my desire which is to leave the Saints a Legacy of experiences that they may read not my works but the spirits works and so admire him who is most worthy when I am gone hence and shall be no more seen And if I vary concerning some experiences in this in respect of doubting and questioning union after sealing it is my own experience I must not record anothers experience it may be some may scruple at it and therefore I thought fit to mention it After my Spirit received the seal of the Spirit I had abundance of raptures of joy some when I have gon along the street my raptures hath been such that I minded not the ground I went upon but divers times have been
clouds At another season when I have shut my eyes immediatly they have been unclosed and my Saviour presenting his speech to me that he said to his Disciples when he was to depart from them and that was this Verily verily I say unto you I will drink no more of the fruit of this Vine till I drink it new in my Fathers Kingdom This came in in such a mysterie that I was not able to understand it but it was discovered a little thus That the spirit was held out in an embleme of wine when as Christ was upon the earth but it shall after his Ascention break forth in a new and far more glorious manner like new wine more sweet and perspicuous so that it was made forth to me to be meant the pourings forth of the Spirit Now I shall tell you Saints of more illustrations and interpretations given in from the sight of hearbs and flowers as that of the sweet Bryar why sweet and yet thorny we see the most sweetest enjoyment that this world can present to the creature hath a thorn accompanying it and likewise Christ is a very sweet fragrant smell to his friends but to his enemies a thorn and concerning flowers this was given in the variety of smells proceeding from them and the variety of colours in which was held forth the variety of beauties and sweetness flowing from my Saviour one thing I minded in the marigold it being brought before my eyes I saw pleasures and honours and the greatest preferments here guilded outsides but black in the middle so I saw the Lord Jesus glory to the Saints but black to the wicked even as the marygold appears like gold in the middle black and so likewise concerning spice A few nutmegs being presented from a friend to me thus much was hinted forth mercy and love coming from the friend of friends not single but double mercies and this was presented also from the hardness of it being stony so Christ is the corner stone and as the nutmeg is barky without and gives but little smell till it be grated and then the smell is very fragrant and the oylness of it appears so Christ when he is grated upon the spirits that is when he is made known unto the soul by the spirit Oh what sweet fragrant smell comes into every faculty of the soul And the spirit that holy oyl or unction drops down upon the whole man even as there is a discovery of the oyl in the nutmeg when it is grated Truly Saints did you but feel in the reading of this that sweet odour that I found in my spirits you could not but praise with me And when I saw the fruits of the earth many instructions were given in as in the sight of Cherries I saw the blood of my Saviour and such fruits which was firm in the outside yet hollow and a stone in the middle of them so all things here below are hollow though they appear firm Isa 40. Last the erring spirit shall come to understand and the murmuring spirit shall learn doctrine The Lord made this Scripture very sweet to me and I was incouraged to comfort drooping Saints to cast their souls upon Jesus Christ who calls to the weary and heavy laden to come to him that is to believe in him whom the father hath sent And I also was filled with such a spirit of boldness as it is written the righteous are as bold as a Lion so that whereas I am of a fearful spirit by nature yet God then carryed me forth to speak abundantly to all that came to me whether they were of high or low degree And such relentings of spirit was in me towards backsliders that I desired to weep tears of blood if it had been possible to have gained them Oh friends how did I thirst after the welâ—are of every one that they that told me they lived in the spirit I told â—hem how sweet a thing walking in the spirit wâ—s which will teach to intreat when we are reviled and to be of a lamblike spirit when enemies reproach that so we might imitate that lamb which took away sin and sure had not the spirit of God gone along with exhortations they would not have took so much effect upon many spirits I think hardly any came but they went away affected both young and old such was the love of God thus to break forth which had I the tongue of Angels I could not express I desire it may shine forth in all my actions for truly the work of God is marvellous in my eyes and that Scripture of Christ telling his Disciples that they should set upon twelve thrones Judging the twelve Tribes of Israel by that word twelve thrones was much set forth to me the great dignity of the Saints The Lord acquaint us more with the Spirit in the letter then shall we be able to understand every truth and the erring spirit shall come to understand and the murmuring spirit shall learn doctrine as God much perswaded me that that spirit of formality which hath lain so long upon the Saints should be taken off and the Lord gave me faith to believe for the Saints and me thinks I see them groaning after the pourings forth of the spirit and surely the time shall not be long ere the Lord will satisfie the groaning soul and answer the expectations of the Saints for as in God are hid treasures of wisdom and knowledge so every treasure shall be opened to the Saints in the appointed time therefore the Saints shall wait for it Many times God appeared in visions of glory to me as I lay wrapt up in the spirit I beheld a glorious star shining exceeding bright and the bright morning star the Lord Jesus was much presented into my thoughts and concerning Fzekiels vision he saw by the River Chebar it is said he saw visions of God which word being brought immediatly from God to me it was very sweet this was given into me that when Saints are in affliction in respect of their outward man though they be in great straits yet nothing can deprive them of the breakings forth of their God nay then when the creature is at a low ebb in the outward man the Lord is pleased to visit the creature with a full Sea of glory and saith to the Saints be you open ye everlasting gates that the King of glory may enter in Oh how sweet this Scripture was spoken in the spirit to me I can but hint things forth and speak partly of what I found Saints I question not but in your own experiences what hath been declared will be more cleared to you by the spirit though I am able to declare them but stammeringly yet these things came plaâ—nly into my spirits and with a mighty fulness that I could evidently say these are the appearances of an infinite God and no delusion praised be the most high my mouth was full of praises and begged of all that
came nigh me to praise that had the spirit of praises and still I was entreating the Saints to speak sweetly and gently to all persons that they might appear to be the sheep of the great shepheard Christ I told them how it bâ—came Saints to be of a meek spirit and I was not ashamed to confess that I was by nature of a contentious perverse spirit which I now loathed and every proud thought was an abomination to me and I told the Saints they were to look up for strength to walk as people of another Nation that it might be said they are the people of the living God who have the mark of God in all their actions Now friends I shall tell you once concerning my raising from weakness to strength from pain to ease and that both to the amazement of my self and those that were present with me but oh that I might never forget to praise the Lord not only in word but in my holy conversation in all these discoveries that have been related my body still grew weaker and weaker and the Sent of dead souls turned out of the grave was still in my nostrils and my body like unto a clod of earth and pain working up to my heart the day before my recovery one Captain Harris prayed by me and in that prayer I was mightily strengthened in believing and could not but say Lord why may not I be raised now And answer was suddenly darteâ— into my spirit I the Lord can raise thee now but thou shalt be raised at that time that thy God hath given thee to believe Oh how sweet was this answer in my Spirits that though I had a desire then to arise and I strove to list up my self yet I could not for the Lord told me his time was not yet and untill the day of deliverance came I was not onely weak and sick in body but my spirits were very dead not activity or liveliness in them all the forenoon but in the afternoon this Scripture was handed by my father to me why is thy soul troubled why is thy spirit sad within thee Believe in God believe also in me John 14.1 in this I was mightily refresht and my spirits quickned and faith much strengthened not that unbelief did seize upon me at any time after God had sealed these things upon my spirit though Satan told me that at that instant I believed I should recover my breath should be taken out of my body now it did not fear me God still perswading me that his power should be made manifest but I still grew to the earth my body waxt very cold and in clamy sweats that those that had been present with persons when their breath departed from them they could not imitate or liken me to any other but a dying person to my own feeling and sence my hands were dead and the rest of my body very liveless my breath to my own sence was even departing from me this was about six or seven a clock that night then I was raised and suddenly God poured a mighty spirit of prayer upon me that I felt my breath which was taking leave of my body heated and I pleaded with God in believing for the accomplishment of his promise and Abraham was set before me his faith strong though he saw no sacrifice he believed God would raise an Isaac out of the ashes so God carried my spirits up contrary unto sence and when the spirit of prayer was off me then god instructed me what to say to the Saints that stood by quivering and fearing not being able to see this accomplished by the eye of faith it being very contrary unto sence and when the spirit making use of me had done incouraging the Saints telling them they should surely see the work of the Lord and after thus speaking I fell in a trance in which I saw the glory of my Saviour exceedingly but I cannot speak what I saw and this lasted about a quarter of an hour and when it began to wear away this voice was given into my Spirits I say arise walk and praise me set forth my glory this came with a mighty strength that I felt strength given into my limbs that were deadest first revived and a song of Hallelujah sounded into my spirits saying now sing praise unto the great God and to the Lamb that sits upon the throne and great joy came into my spirits from the holy Spirit and no sooner did God say arise walk but I was lifted up by the power of the most high God from my bed and I called for my clothes all pain was ceased the Fever left me and I put on my clothes and as soon as I came out of my bed death pangs seized extraordinarily upon me my heart strings were ready to crack and I was even sinking a swiming in my head being very great also and my spirit suddenly was drawn forth to say Lord wilt thou now nullifie the work and shall thy hand maid now be deserted and the Lord answered me am not I thy strength and I found strength immediatly and could walk about the room without fainting or any body to help me and my stomack was opened that I could let down broth which before I could not and I continued up till midnight praising God with the Saints and after I was laid in my bed I could not shut my eyes to sleep all that night to think that on such a sudden so great an alteration should be made that I could lye down free from all pain and distemper that I felt before and so I grew still every day more strength was given in to me on the fourth day at night thus God appeared and on the first day of the week after which is called the Sabbath day I went abroad to the praise and glory of my father which hath ever since continued my health and I minded thus much in Gods raising of me he doubled his power in recovering me once and again when I began to faint and also the week following God told me I should have my perfect strength which week was the third day instanced in Hosea 6. And thus Saints having an incouragement from the Spirit of Truth to set before your view some of the experiences God hath given into me through his own free love but a creature-capacity cannot contain all the incomings of God I had while I lay in my sickness but being very much importuned by some friends I have fulfilled their desires through the assistance of God in setting forth as much as was brought to my remembrance I being a weak worthless creature a babe in Christ which makes his power the more manifest And now Saints I intreat your prayers continually for me HEre is further added a short discourse written eight years ago weighty and precious for that it pierceth through the veil searcheth into the inside of things and giveth some hint of things now looked for by many but then more