Co 4.4 I know nothing of my self (e) Psal 39.12 When with this rebuke thou didst correct me for my iniquities thou madest my beautie to consume away like a moth but in such measure did thy grace correct me that I may use the great Apostle's words (f) 1 Co 1.27 When I was weak then was I strong for all the while (g) Psal 73.26 my flesh fail'd my heart never fail'd and whiles my disease chang'd and my sores much destroy'd my skin (h) Isa 1.5 neither was my head sick nor my heart faint (i) Job 7.5.4 When my flesh was â—â—ath'd with scabs and botches my skin broken and become loathsome through thy grace oh my God I was not full of tosssings to and fro I had yet then it self (k) Pro 24.33 34. a little sleep a little slumber a little folding of the hands to sleep till my ease came to me as one that travell'd and my victorie of my Disease as an armed man My bodie did oh may my soul so too (l) Jam. 1.21 quickly lay aside all the filthiness and superfluitie of its naughtiness and by thy blessing receive that temper which saved my soul from leaving it it suddenly laid aside every weight (m) Heb 12.1 and the Disease which did so easily beset it by thy commission all my distempers (n) 2 Sa. 18.7 dealt as gently with me as if thâ—â— oh my God hadst charg'd them of me as David charg'd Joab Abishai and Ittai of Absolon Deal gently with the young man and at thy word of command they departed from doing me evil oh may they now do me good For (o) Psal 119.67 before I was afflicted I went astray and so I am afraid to my heart I shall after it (p) Hos 5.15 If in my affliction I sought thee early what I shall do out of it I am very jealous for thousands call to thee (q) Psal 41.3 to make all their bed in their sickness who commune not with thee on bed or up in their health Thousands cry to Christ Jesus to (r) Mat. 2.17 take their infirmities and bear their sickness who yet sacrifice their strength and health to the Prince of Devils and live not to God But in thee oh my God do I trust for good I will not suspect that thou hast so cur'd my bodie as to have kill'd my soul this were to say to the whole Trinitie as Job to his Friends Job 13.14 Ye are all Physicians of no value There is oh my God (s) Jer. 8.22 aBa Im in Gilead and a Physician there for healthy as well as sick Israelites Oh let me have both for Lord I appeal to him himself who said That (t) Mat 9.12 the whole need not a Physician but the sick if I don't need thee now I am whole as much as when I was sick When I was sick did I say Alas alas Though my scabs be prettie well off and sores competently up agen I am thou knowest oh Lord nothing but spiritual wounds and bruises (u) Isa 1.9 Can. 2.5 and putrifying sores I am still sick of all things save of love to thee nor do I find that this rod of thy late correction hath driven so far from me as I could wish (x) Pro 22.15 Folly the seminary of all Diseases that not only is in but bound up in my my heart pit Blessed God I am not of them on whom thy rod is not but sith thy (y) Job 21.9 rod without thy reproof gives no wisedom that I know of oh lend me the latter or I lose the comfort of the former If thou dost not spare thy (z) Pro. 29.15 rod yet if thou denyest thy counsel I shall conclude my self a hated son or a reprobate (a) Heb â— 8. Pa. 48.10 bastard I read affliction is called a fornace Lord if it be so heat it as hot as (b) Dan 3.19 Nebuchadnezar's seven times hotter and in with me into it rather than let the (c) Jer. 6.29 bellows be burnt the lead consum'd of the fire the founder melt in vain and my wickedness not be pluck'd away Help me oh my God that I despise not or misimprove this or any of thy (d) Job 5.17 chastisements for that is a meer killing (e) Mat 23.37 of thy prophets and stoning them that are sent to me yea 't is a very saying Who is the Lord that I should fear him All the sicknesses and the sorrows that I improve not to (f) Mat 3 2 8. repentance and amendment of life methinks in my reflections they bring me down this thy dismal word of old pronounc'd (g) Gen 3.16 I will greatly multiply thy sorrow But verily oh my God when one of thy chastifements (h) Deu 32.30 chases a thousand of my corruptions and two puts ten thousand to flight There be three that bear record in heaven how unfeignedly I conclude That affliction with (i) Jo. 6.6 contentment is great gain I cannot say of all my Visitations (k) Job 17.12 as Christ of the Elect Those that thou gavest me I have saved and none is lost but yet sure I am some of my afflictions there be which when they have done all cannot say (l) Luk. 17.10 We are unprofitable servants for of one and another oh my God! thou knowest that (m) Mat 1.20 that which has been conceiv'd in them has been of the Holy Ghost My perils by sea that made me cry (n) Mat 8.25 27 1 Cor. 3.21 Lord save or I perish through thy grace made the wind and seas of my own tempestuous affections more obedient to my conscience ever since in my deliberacies But alas of any man alive I cannot glory in my self (o) Gen 47.9 Few and evil like Jacob's dayes have all my improves of thy corrections been and though in this sickness I hear a voice (p) Mat. 19.21 of Christ Come and follow me and in the many singular providentials of it I see a blessed plentie of thy goodnesses too I fear I shall not (q) Joh. 6.12 gather up the fragments so that nothing be lost But oh thou that hast sweetly (r) Phil 3.21 changed and art yet changing my vile bodie Let this sickness be unto the death of many a corruption and let my soul be (s) 2 Co 3.18 changed into the image of thy Son from glorie to glorie Let not my pride and securitie and forgetfulness of my God like Lazarus come out of their (t) Joh. 11.39 graves after they have been in for a few daies and have stunk in my nosthrils If thy Spirit help me not strongly to believe in thee though all my sins were dead Joh. 11.25 Joh. 10.10 yet they would live they would stand up from the dead and unbelief would give them life Unbelief which when it comes it comes that all sins may have life and that they may have it more abundantly How oft oh my God do I methinks hear this unbelief say of all sins as Christ of him whom he loved Our friends sleep but I go that I may awake them out of sleep Through faith (u) Heb 11.33 oh Lord give me to subdue Kingdoms yea the world of oppositions to my dutie in improving this my Recoverie I mean this thy (x) Eze. 37.6 laying sinews upon me bringing flesh upon me covering me again with skin and putting as it were a new life into me Forbid good God that the shew of my (y) Isa 3.9 countenance should cry against me and (z) Job 31.38 Pro. 17.8 Pro. 17.17 the furrows thereof complain of me for unthankfulness to thee Let this thy gift of my new life be to me as Solomon saies all gifts are a precious stone Whither soever it turns let it prosper to my faith hope and charitie He tells me a friend loves atall times I know no such friend but thy self nor any brother born for adversitie but the Saints elder Brother He saies the (a) Pro. 18.14 Spirit will bear infirmities But oh if he mean not by the upholding of thy Spirit my experience contradicts him Wherefore thou oh Triune God art my God and early will I seek thee because thy loving kindness is my life and (b) Psal 63.3 Psal 54 6. better than my life I will bless thee while I live and I will lift up my hands in thy Name I will sacrifice unto thee (c) Psal 4.12 Thy Vows are upon me oh God and I will render praises (d) Psal 119.11 Thy word will I hide in my heart that I may not sin against thee Every day will (e) Psal 145.2 I bless thee and I will praise thy Name for ever and ever (f) Psal 146.2 While I live will I praise the Lord I will sing praises to my God while I have any being and in this Quaery I will live and dye (g) Psal 116.12 What shall I render to the Lord for all his benefits Oh my God the very word of the Devil I will verifie and all that I have will I give thee for my life Nay and I will use his Words also to thee of all that ever I shall have in this world or in the world to come (i) Mat. 4.9 All these things will I give thee Amen my God Amen Amen FINIS
which have flaming swords to keep thee out of ill companie The one is Gen. 3.15 The other Rev. 22.11 All between remember but these repeat thou every morn noon and night Amen 22. A Soliloquy with God of my Soul LOrd (a) Psal 119.79 Psal 139.14 thy hands have made me and fashioned me But nor 1 nor my parents know how I am fearfully and wonderfully made in the very (b) Isa 40.6 grass-plat of my flesh and even such (c) Psal 139.6 knowledge is too wonderful for me it is high I cannot attain it But as for my spiritual substance (d) Heb 10.34 Heb. 12.9 my better and induring substance my spirit whereof thou art the immediate Father how that lives moves and has its being what it is how it-acts how it lives man knows not it (e) Job 28.21 23. is hid from the eyes of all living God onely understands the way thereof and knows the place thereof Though it dwell in a clod of earth and a few drops of blood all the world to it is as nothing as a (f) Isa 40.15 17. drop of a bucket and the small dust of the ballance less than nothing and vanity it takes up the Isles as a very little thing Oh my God my bodie is not so little a a thing to the whole world as the whole world is to my soul fewer such bodies would fill the world than such worlds would fill my soul Thou hast but little in saying The world is mine and the fulness thereof than thou magnifiest thy self when thou sayest (g) Eze. 18 4. All souls are mine souls (h) Heb 11 38. of whom the world is not worthy I have read of the ends of the earth and (i) Psal 135.7 I have seen an end of all perfection herein But the capacitie of my soul I find exceeding broad so broad that nothing less than what (k) Jer. 13.24 sills Heaven and earth too can fill it and if thou oh my God wilt fill it when 't is (l) Luk. 1.53 hungry with good things thou must fill it with no worse nor less than the fulness of God The (m) Lu. 58. heles of the earth may contain foxes and the worlds nests may hold unclean birds nay each of them possibly may say (n) Psal 132.14 This is my rest for ever here will I dwell for I have desired it But alas my soul hath not where to lay its head herein Thy (o) Psal 15.1 tabernacle oh my God thy holy hill thy House not made with hands is the least it can dwell in The whole Earth is not a livelyhood for one soul without thee nor were Heaven it self tenantable did not thy presence make it a Court. Thou didst once bid man (p) Ge. 1.28 replenish the earth but never the earth replenish man whose soul thou knowest (q) Pro. 30.15 and makest one of those things which are never satisfied and say not 't is enough till it has as much more than the World as the (r) Gen 3.14 Creator is than the Creation Oh my God I find that my soul cannot go upon its belly and eat dust if thou thy self wouldst tell me of the Kingdoms of the earth (s) Mat 4.9 All these things will I give thee for thy portion it would utterly be (t) Can 8.7 contemn'd I find my soul is opinionated that 't is a substance of more value than many sparrows and will not be put off with a this-years nest nor with (u) Luk 12.19 goods laid up for many years neither no lease for less than eternity No inheritance besides an (x) 1 Pe 1.4 incorruptible and in no place but heaven will satisfie it much less at all gratifie it If thou shouldst bid it go seek a happiness it would return Lord (y) Joh 6.68 to whom shall I go thou hast the words of eternal life it would say Lord every of thy (z) 1 Ti 4.4 creatures is good and nothing to be refused for a servant but I will call none upon earth master while I breath (a) Joh 18.36 Had Christ's Kingdom been merely of this World I would never have fought for him so much as now I have and will though I am driven out of the World But the very truth is (b) Joh 3.16 God has so loved the World that I will never love it I read in thy holy Book of many things lost of but two that I think of won Solomon mentions (c) Pro. 11.30 Phil. 3.8 winning of souls St. Paul winning of Christ let me win but those Two and let Ziba take all for me I cannot be exceedingly anger'd or pleas'd (d) Jon. 4.6 7 10. Isa 5.10 with the gourds which come in a night and perish in a night Oh my God I find that whereas Christ's soul vvas made an offering for sin most men make their souls an offering to sin But my soul mindful of its primitive glory and likeness to God declares its (e) Ro. 1.18 Job 20.9 Wrath against all sin offers it self to thee and resolves if thou vvilt not yet sin shall not have it it vvill not serve sin or abide by its crib Nor vvill it humble and (f) Psal 113.6 abase it self to behold amorously the things that are on earth In comparison of God it (g) Job 42.6 abhors it self in comparison of it self it abhors the gain of the vvhole World The World vvhose (h) Mic. 6 10. scanty measure is an abomination to it and to all of vvhose Treasures the Heaven-born (i) Joh. 8.23 Spirit saith not infrequently as Jesus to the Jewes Ye are from beneath I am from above Ye are of this World I am not of this World Adding that (k) Mat 5.18 Heaven and Earth shall pass away but not a jod or tittle of its substance shall pass away (l) Hab. 3.17 Though the fig-tree blossom not nor fruit be in the vines Though the labour of the Olive fail and the fields yield no meat Though the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls Though Moab reproach and Ammon revile Zeph. 2 8. my spirit can sustain its infirmity and through Christ prosper too but without him enjoyments are torments and gains losses Wherefore surely oh my God I may say of humane souls That man knoweth not the price and it is so far from being (m) Pro 28.13 found in the land of the living that with infinite justice and prudence we may all cry out What shall we give in exchange 23. A Soliloquy with God of Evidences for Heaven OH my God I cannot but ever and anon break out into such a Quaery of Heaven as Abraham put to thee of Canaan Lord God How shall I know (a) Ge. 15.8 That I shall inherit it I thank thee O Lord I do not yet hear thee say of it to me as of that Canaan to Moses I have
as other mens and though their love comes up like a flower it 's obnoxious to be cut or trod down like grass (g) Mat 6.30 which to day is and to morrow is cast into the oven Be thou my friend who changest not but lovest to the end yea world without end (h) Rev 2.10 who art faithful to the Death and givest thy friends a crown of Life whose love neither death can strike (i) Ro 3.38 39 nor life consume nor angels stop in the way nor principalities (k) Ro. 13.2 and powers resist to any but their own damnation nor things present cross nor things to come annoy nor heighth pull down nor depth swallow up nor any other creature do any other injury unto Oh my God make me know men (l) Jam. 1.8 are double-winded and their love is unstable in all its waies (m) He. 12.15 any root of bitterness may spring up and trouble it the rust of money (n) Mat 6.19 may corrupt it thieves may break in and steal it An unbridled tongue may ride over it and spoil it Oh make me sell all I have to get thy love thy love which is an inheritance (o) 1 Pe 1.4 5. incorruptible undefiled and that fades not away reserv'd in heaven kept through my faith indeed but by thy power unto salvation Make me know good Lord That all the friends on earth can't make one (p) Mat. 5.36 hair of my head white or black nor by (q) Mat 6.27 taking ever so much thought add one cubit to my stature when sick or sorrowful there 's not one to whom I can say (r) Mat. 8.2 7. If thou wilt thou canst make me clean and whole nor can a soul of them say I will come and heal thee (s) Job 7.38 But oh my God he that believeth in thee though he were dead yet should he live Thou canst (t) Ezo 37.6 lay sinews upon dry bones cover them with flesh and breath in life 'T is but a word (u) Heb 11.3 and a world with thee (x) Ecc 1.15 that which is crooked thou canst make strait and that which is wanting thou canst number it My God my God I beseech thee put away my lovers and friends from me and (y) Job 19.13 let my acquaintance be estranged from that intimacie and perpetuitie of converse with them which hinders my communion with thee Though of all things below they are the sweetest they cannot (z) Pro 30 8. feed me with food convenient for me though I am greatly prone to put (a) Pro. 25.19 confidence in them I find that confidence in them in time of trouble is like a broken tooth and a foot out of joynt Though they have (b) Eph 4.28 stole away too too much of my affection already Oh my God let them steal no more Enable me to (c) Luk 14.26 hate my very father as much as is requisite to come a friend to thee Be thou my whole acquaintance and let me be ever with thee either in delights or desires Let me be a (d) Psal 119.23 companion of all them that love thee but let my communion be with and my strong confidence be in thee who art never better known than trusted Amen my God and Saviour Amen Amen! 10. A Soliloquy with God of the Holy Scriptures BLessed God (x) Job 6.25 how forcible are right words thine I am sure are Right because thine and right forcible because they are such (y) Jer. 23.29 hammers as break the very Rocks of my heart such a fire as pierces into my inmost depths and reaches the dross (z) 1 Co 2.9 which no Eye hath seen or ear heard Such Monitors as whoever won't hear (a) Luk 16.31 would not believe if one came from the dead Such as (b) Psal 119.9 cleanse the ways of even young men themselves so hard to be reclaimed that David cries out astonishedly Wherewithall shall a man young cleanse his waies Of very stocks and stones thy word (c) Mat. 3.9 has rais'd up children to Abraham It is (d) Isa 43.1 the arm of God yea and very sword too God the Father's arm God the Son's (e) 1 Co 4.20 power God the (f) Eph 6.17 Spirits sword Oh my God (g) Pre. 15.23 words spoken in season how good are they but when are thine out of season When (h) 1 Pe 2.2 we are babes they are milk (i) Pro 16.24 sweet and nourishing When grown they are strong meat making us go in thy wayes without weariness yea (k) Psal 19.5 run without fainting when in bitterness of sin and sorrow they are honey pleasant and purgative too When in doubts they are Counsellors when fainting (l) Can 2.5 they are flagons of soul-reviving cordials and apples of comfort When quite dead and the spirit gone (m) Jo. 6 6â— the words which thou sayest they are spirit and they are life (n) Jam 1.18 We are begotten by thy holy word (o) psa 119.93 as many as are born of God! We are fed by the same and no better fed than taught neither O my God there is not a (p) Psa 119 105. word in my tongue but thou knowest it altogether Oh would to Christ there may not be a (q) Psal 139.4 word in thy Book but I may know it altogether (r) Jam 1.5 Praised be thy holy Name thou dost not say If any man want wisdom that then he shall strait be damn'd for a fool but sayest That then he should ask it of thee Lord I ask of thee that (s) 2 Ti. 3.15 wisedom to salvation which thy word alone is able to give me I observe That all worldly wise withour this are (t) Mat. 10.16 as harmless as serpents as wise as doves without hearts they are wise to do evil in the form of godliness but to do good as good they have (u) Jer. 4.22 none the least knowledge What are all humane Authors that I should take knowledge (x) Psal 144.3 of them Or the most Learned that I should make account of them (y) Isa 55.8 9. Their words are not as thy words nor their notions as thy notions As the heavens are high above the earth so are thy words high above their words thy notions above theirs Methinks of all the Books in my Studie it is my Bible onely which can use the mighty Lords own words (z) Isa 45.22 Look unto me and be ye saved All the ends of the earth (a) Pro. 8.18 20 21 14. riches and honour are with me yea durable riches and honours lead in the way of righteousness in the midst of the paths of Judgement That I may cause those that love me to inherit substance and I will fill their treasures Counsel is mine and sound wisedom I am understanding I have strength Other Books I confess with their