lips or with a double heart And though thus single was my heart 1 King 4.29 yet was it noe small one it was large God had given unto mee as unto Solomon both wisedome Ps 119.32 Ps 17.3 and understanding and largnesse of heart and like David I did runne the way of his commandements when hee had thus enlarged it This large heart was a proved one too for God had proved it and Visited mee and tryed mee when I was purposed that my mouth should not transgresse Ps 7.9 1. Chr 29.17 Ps 26.2 It was tryed tryed by my God by my righteous God which tryeth the hearts and reines even by him who tryeth the heart and hath pleasure in uprightnesse the very selfe same God did examine mee and prove mee hee tryed my reines my heart And this loving heart this broken yet whole heart this sound and single heart Ps 101.2 1. King 8.61 Act 16.14 this large and tryed heart was found perfect I did walke with in my house with a perfect heart it was perfect with the Lord my God to walke in his statutes to keepe his commandements It was an open heart it was opened lke Lydia's that I could attend to the things that were spoken by our Pauls It opened so wide or at least with sorrow it was so filled that at length it broke Ier 23.9 Mine heart within mee like unto Ieremiah's was broken all my bones did shake I was like a drunken man and like a man whom wine hath overcome O full well too it thē was with mee even when my heart was broken for it had beene stone nothing but stone before when neither promises nor mercies neither menaces nor judgments could worke upon it It had beene a stone a three-cornerd stone untill it pleased him to breake it who is the head-stone in the corner the head-stone Mat 21 42. because the strongest in the whole building sustaining the fabrick The head-stone in the corner knitting cimenting and uniting together both the Iewes and the Gentiles 1. Pet 2 8. The head-stone in the corner who is a stone of stumbling unto many and a rock of offence at which the Iewes tooke such offence that they hurt them selves against this stone in the corner Yet hee that was reiected by the Iewes and scornfully under-vallewed was unto mee a most skillfull excellent lapidarie hee knew the stone of my heart and at mine intreatie hee broke it hee broke it in pieces Yea hee wrought so powerfully in mee that through the helpe of him I had learned to rent it to rent my heart Ioel 2.13 and not my garments and turne to the Lord my God It was made an acceptable sacrifice to my God for I had a broken spirit a broken Ps 51.17 a contrite heart which hee will noe despise Hee hee is that great Iehouah who is high Ies 57.15 and excellent who inhabiteth eternitie whose name is holy who dwelleth in the high and holy place yet with him all so that is of a contrite humble spirit to revive the spirit of the humble and to revive the heart of the contrite ones Hee it is who hath promised that hee will not breake a bruised reede Is 42.3 nor quench the smoaking flaxe but on the contrarie Ps 147 3. will heale the broken in heart and bind up their wounds By him who is thus high and excellent by him who is thus full of compassion as not to bruise the reede nor quench the flaxe by him who is thus infinite in mercy that hee healeth those that are broken in heart even by the same God in testimonie of his love was my stony heart broken O it had beene an uncircumcised heart Deut. 30.6 but afterwards the Lord my God did circumcise it to love himselfe with all my heart and with all my soule that I might live So open so broken so rent so contrite so circumcised it was Act 7.51 that I resisted not the Holy Ghost Lord what happie dayes did I then enioy when my heart was thus qualified with goodnesse When it was thus acceptable to my God! But now alasse 't is quite otherwise That heart that good heart of mine is gone is lost is polluted Peradventure some anger had beene seated in my gall but I laboured that it should not increase into a sin Peradventure some joy was placed in my splene but that joy howsoëver was chiefly in the Lord and in my heart was carefully preserved the feare of his name That heart was then the cabinet the store house the treasurie of wisedome wherein were two with-drawing chambers divided but by a partition in which were placed the fountaines of lively blood of life it selfe even the life of grace given by the liberall hand of the God of my life But now oh my poore heart it hath forsaken this breast this breast of a distressed forlorne woman and in the roome thereof is crept into my bosome a heart so hard that when I sinite my breast in my deepest sorrow my very hand re-bound's by reason of the hardnesse of this rockie heart Often have I heard people complaine of the stone in the kidnies or the bladder but I am enforced to a new complaint even of the stone in the heart O that my God would cutt it and take this stone out of it or else give mee such a potion of sorrow and contrition that it might prove the most soveraigne saxafrage to break this stone A stone here is wich I can feele both by the weight and the hardnesse there of but what kind of stone I cannot determine Surely it can be noe pomoise none of that stone which in some sort may be sayd to be even heavier then it selfe because though when it is whole it is full of pores full of holes very hollow even as hollow as my heart yet when it is broken in pieces when it is stamped and beaten to powder it seemes to be more ponderous then when it was whole If such a one be in my heart ô that my God would breake this heart ô that hee would grind it or beate it to powder then peradventure it would be heavy for my sinns and ponder mine iniquities Or it may be that such a stone is in it as those were which the Lord did promise that the Israelites should find in the land of Canaan Deut. 8 9. even stones that were iron for surely my heart is as hard as iron And yet though it be so the patient Iob assureth mee that euen waters weare the stones Iob 14.19 O that my God would cause the trickling of my teares to weare away the stone of my heart Or if it be iron ô that hee would cause it to swimme in the Iordane of my sorrowes as once Elisha caused the iron and steele to doe 2. King 6.6 which were tempered together in the head of the are When I feele for my good heart oh
protection Where are my hopes If hee be my God and I deny him what hee requireth where then is my duty Or how performed If hee be my God and I render him what hee requireth and yet hee accepteth not what I render what then shall become of mee This heart is too had for him to accept of who is goodnesse it selfe It is too uncleane for him who is purity it selfe It is too base for him who is excellency it selfe Lord how I doe waver in my thoughts and what staggering doubts doe arise in my graoelesse heart What course can I take what meanes must I use to get a heast for him which may be any way acceptable Mine owne is too bad and if I thinke to mend it of my selfe I shall but botch it I shall but make it worse There is noe other way but a new one I must have and where or how to get it I know not Nay I have noe heart at all to seeke it If the ould one would be good for any thing I would willingly give that in part of payment in exchange for a new one But alasse that will never be worth any thing while it is a heart Surely if I would have a new one a good one that is worth having I must goe unto God for it for hee alone is the creatour there of To him therfore will I repaire and humbly I will beseech him to create in mee a new heart Ps 51.10 a cleane heart and renew a right spirit within mee If hee requireth a pledg for it seeing that I have formerly falsified my promise what shall I doe I have nothing worth it to leave in the place of it but I will howsoëver faithfully promise him that hee shall have it againe and with that very heart I will promise which hee shall spare mee I will desire onely to borrow it and but for a litle time even for noe longer time then hee of his owne accord shall be willingly pleased to spare it Nay I will not so much as desire to call it mine it shall be his still I will begge that it may goe under his name and if yet hee will not believe mee I will put him in securitie the best securitie that ever was or is or shall be even his onely beloved Son Why then should I not s◠to him to graunt my desires since neither my request is unreasonable nor my securitie questionable It is noe new thing to sue to him for a new heart Hee hath beene pleased to vouchsafe it to others Thus hee promised to Israel by the mouth of his prophet Ez. 11.19 C. 36. saying I will put a new spirit within you And in another place A new heart allso will I give you and a new spirit will I put within you and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh I will give you an heart of flesh Such ô such a heart doe I begge of thee ô my God Such a new heart such a fire new one I beseech thee to graunt unto mee as may burne with zeale for the honour of thy name But what if I should not prevaile with my God for a new heart It is all one with him to create a new or to revive an ould one and to mee it will allso prove of equall vallew I will howsoever submitt to his pleasure If hee give mee my dead one againe restored to life 1. King 17.20 as hee restored the sonne of the widow at the prayer of Elijah I shall be as well contented as if hee created a new one for mee for all will be one This allso hee can doe if hee please Is 57.17 for it is his custome to revive the spirit of the humble and to revive the heart of the contrite ones But if it be re-vived it must be washed before it will be fitt to be presented unto him And it must be washed by mee the paines must be taken by my selfe Ier. 4.14 for what hee sayd to Ierusalem hee speaketh unto mee O Ierusalem wash thine heart from wickednesse that thou mayst be saved how long shall thy vaine thoughts lodg within thee But when it is walhed 2. pet 2 22. it must not return againe with the sow that is washed to wallow in the mire Noe noe it must goe forward in goodnesse that so I may be able to speake as doeth the psalmist and say My heart is not turned back Ps 44.8 neither have my stepps declined from thy way And when I shall have such a heart such a new heart such a revived heart such a washed heart a heart so forward to goodnes then I resolve it shall be ordered constantly to looke up-wards to the donour to the re-viver there of If mine eyes looke upwards surely mine heart shall not stoope downe-wards The very herbs and flowers teach mee this lesson for they are noe sooner delivered from the wombe of the earth but up-wards they grow and aspire upwards they open as if nature had dispatched them into the world upon this very condition that they should gratefully looke upward towards the God of nature This new heart I would have wholly devoted to the feare of the donour Deu. 5 29. Oh that there were such a heart in mee that I would feare him and keepe all his commandements allways that it might be well with mee for ever I would have it both feare and likewise love him too 2. Thes 3.5 Prov. 16.1 I would have it directed to the love of him and into a patient wayting for his sonne And for as much as the preparations or disposing of the heart in man is from the Lord I will begge of him so much of his grace as that therewith I may sanctifie him in my heart 1. Pet. 3.15 Ps 86.11 even in that very heart I would have it united unto him that I might beare his name Then shall this new heart thus fearing and loving my Creatour be disposed by him it shall sanctifie him and being united unto him it shall ever be with him and allways be protected and preserved by him I would have my new heart to be a chamber of presence a privie chamber a bed chamber for the King of glory 1. Pet. 3 4. Gal. 4.6 Ps 27.8 that so hee may be hidden in mine heart I would have the spirit of his sonne be sent into it to teach mee to cry unto him Abba father for this new heart this infant heart must be able to speake and not onely able but ready allso to speake willing to answer that so when God shall say Seeke yee my face Ps 51.10 my heart with David's may be ready to answer Thy face Lord will I seeke I would have it to be cleane cleane washed from the filthinesse of former offences and purified Act. 15 9. as were the hearts of the Gentiles I would have it freed from the fowle opinions thoughts and desires which hung
child by grace and adoption I am sure that hee will be my father by providence and protection Hee it is who sayd that hee would leave in the midst of Ierusalem Zeph 3.12 an afflicted and poore people but with all bee promised that they should trust in the name of the Lord. Hee that correcteth mee for mine offences intendeth my conversion the fault is in my selfe if it turne to my ruine Hee taketh away earth that hee may give mee heaven for both hee seeth I cannot graspe at once Thus hee at once both punisheth mee for mine offences and provideth for my happinesse Yet though hee punisheth hee doeth it not hastily nor yet un-expectedly if I justly consider it First hee threatneth before hee scourgeth and warneth mee to obey before hee chastiseth Thus by his Prophet Is 20.3 hee saith Like as my servant Isaiah hath walked naked and bare foote three yeares for a signe and wonder upon Egypt and upon Ethiopia vers 4. So shall the King of Assyria leade away the Egyptians prisoners and the Ethiopians captives young and ould naked and barefoote even with their shame un-covered to the shame of Egypt Mee hee threatned too before hee thus visited mee but mine eares were deafe I stopped them and refused to hearken to the voyce of the Lord. Every sicknesse of mine owne or my friends every losse of mine owne or my neighbours was a menace â—…om the All-mighty Often did I see his â—…gments upon others but I minded them â—…t as if it nothing concerned mee what fell â—ot on my selfe Children of Princes doe â—eldome feele the smart of a rodde but are â—errified by the stripes which others receave Thus the Lord dealt with mee when hee scourged others but I pittied not them nor yet my selfe just it is therfore that none should now commiserate my case in the depth of my distresse Yet when I consider that this my poverty come's from God mee think's it is a testimomie as much of his love as of his severitie I know assuredly that his servant Iob did suffer more then my calamitie amount's unto yet hee repined not at his losses but glorified his maker Iob. 1.21 The Lord gave say's hee and the Lord hath taken away blessed be the name of the Lord. Thus if I magnifie him who sendeth this correction I shall not sinne in my sufferance vers 22 nor charge him foolishly Mar. 10 25. Hee who sayd It is easier for a Camel to goe thorow the eye of a needle then for a rich man to enter into the Kingdome of God even the same Lord said to the young man in the Gospel If thou wilt be perfect Mat 19 21. goe and sell that thou hast and give to the poore and thou shalt have treasure in heaven and come and follow mee Had I thought of heaven in my seeming prosperitie I should not so much have beene tormented with this present losse But I who before neglected the poore am ranked now in the number of them I who expected my heaven upon earth have here my hell that I may have heaven hereafter Why then should I murmur at this blessing from God and deeme this a losse which is sent for my advantage Surely if I doe but endeavour to vallew the joyes of eternitie I shall rejoyce at my deliverance from the possessions of the world Such hast did Zacheus make from the tree when my Saviour did promise to become his guest and with such contempt of the world did hee entertaine my Redeemer Lu 19.8 that hee said unto him Behould Lord the halfe of my goods I give to the poore and if I have taken any thing from any man by false accusation I restore him fowre fould That Sycomore tree which never before or since had fruite bare then a publicane ripened for Christianitie Unwilling should I have beene to have performed either of the promises of Zacheus when I enjoyed those vanities which I termed goods for I ever was as slow to the acts of charitie as to those of justice But what I kept from others is now taken from mee and what I was un-willing to restore is returned to the owner Shall I therfore reine at him because hee required his owne Shall I murmur at him for that fault which is mine Hee found mee false and would trust mee noe longer Must this his know ledg redound to his dishonour Shall I blame him for his discoverie of my false-hood and negligence and not rather ingeniously confesse the guilt of my wickednesse 'T is I 't is I that am unjust 't is hee 't is hee that is righteous and yet though I am unjust and hee is righteous my sinnes are punished to my greater advantage I am now in this povertie made liker unto him for to the Scribe hee said The foxes have holes Mat 8.20 and the birds of the aire have nests but the sonne of man hath not where on to lay his head House hee had none yea and friend hee had none for even those did crucifie him whom hee came to redeeme One of his disciples became a traitour and when hee came to his owne Io 1.11 his owne receaved him not When hee was hungrie instead of figges hee found nothing but leaves Mat 21 19. and at another time hee contented him selfe with a piece of a broyled fish Luc 24 42. and an hony-kombe When hee was thirstie hee was offered vineger to drinke Io 19.29 Mat 27 28.31 and never was it knowne that his garment was changed save when the Iewes put on him the skarlet roabe and when they had mocked him they tooke't from him againe The disciple is not above his master c 10.24 nor the servant above his Lord. If hee be my master I shall be contented with my povertie if hee be my Lord I shall rejoyce in my losses Povertie is the liverie which his servants weare but this povertie is seated more in spirit then in purse for those hee pronounced truely blessed and to them hee promised the kingdome of heaven Mat 5.3 The poore that are wicked hee double hate's both because they neglect their common dueties and for contemning that poverty which hee send 's for a blessing Those who have least of temporall goods should most be busied about things eternall The rich have some plea for neglecting his service because they are busied in managing their estates but the poore have noe pretence for failing in their dueties to whom God hath afforded nothing for their hinderance Is 66.2 To this man will I looke saith God hin selfe even to him that is poore Yet hee stayeth not here but farther describeth what poore hee intendeth and saith Even him that is of a contrite spirit and trembleth at my word Prov 19.1 It is onely the poore man walking in his integritie who is better then hee that is perverse in his lipps The prophet doeth promise that The meeke shall increase their joy
And Moses lifted up his hand and with his rod hee smote the rock twice and the water came out aboundantly and the congregation dranke and their beastes allso Well might this rod flouriâ—h with blossomes c 17.8 which had power to command water out of the rocks Thus was Israël watered by miracle and the thirst of the people was slacked by the waters which issued even from the stones But Moses is dead and the rod is not heard of the rock I find not Ps 18.2 Ps 23.2 yet will I not despaire The Lord shall be my rock and hee shall leade mee to waters of comfort When Samson had slaine a thousand Philistines with the jaw-bone of an asse Iud. 15.18 hee was sore a thirst and called on the Lord and said Thou hast given this greate deliverance into the hand of thy servant and now shall I dye for thirst and fall into the hand of the uncircumcised vers 19 But God clave an hollow place that was in the jaw and there came water thereout and when hee had drunke his spirit came againe Mat. 19 26. and hee revived Thus with God are all things possible Since then I know it exceedeth not his power to helpe mee in this miserie I will certainly relie upon the hope of his goodnesse When Mesha rebelled Iehoram with Iehoshaphat and the King of Edom fetched a compasse of seaven dayes journie and there was noe water for the hoast 2. King 3.9 vers 15 and for the cattell that followed them Then Elisha said Bring mee a minstrell And it came to passe when the minstrell played that the hand of the Lord came upon him And hee said vers 16 Thus saith the Lord Make this valley full of ditches for thus saith the Lord vers 17 Yee shall not see wind neither shall yee see raine yet that valley shall be filled with water that yee may drinke both yee and your cattell and your beastes vers 18 And this is but a litle thing in the sight of the Lord hee will deliver the Moabites allso into your hand vers 20 And it came to passe in the morning when the meate-offering was offered that behold there came water by the way of Edom and the countrie was filled with water Lord I am one of the valleys I am the lowest the meanest the worst of thy people ô send thy waters into the lowest valley that I may rejoyce in thy mercy and praise thee for thy liberality But while I complaine of the drought of my body mee think's I forget that spirituall thirst which should make mee blessed Those my Redeemer pronunceth blessed Mat 5.6 who doe hunger and thirst after righteousnesse for they shall be filled If I have not a thirst more spirituall then corporall I may justly suspect my selfe to be of the number of those Wicked ones of whom the Prophet speaketh saying Thus saith the Lord God Is 65.13 Behold my servants shall eate but yee shall be hungrie behold my servants shall drinke but yee shall be thirstie behold my servants shall rejoyce but yee shall be ashamed My Saviour tould the woman of Samaria at Iacobs well Io 4.13 vers 14 saying Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst againe But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life Here is noe Iacobs well to coole my tongue Ps 36.9 but the well of life is present and open True it is that this well is deepe and I have nothing to draw I have noe goodnesse to merit it and scarce have I a heart to desire it yet Lord such as I am I come unto thee My selfe I renounce I fly to the worthinesse of Christ my Redeemer For his sake ô my God give mee that water that I thirst not againe For that water doe I long more theÌ„ for the rivers of waters which incompasse the earth 2. King 5.12 Neither Abanah nor Pharpar the rivers of Damascus noe nor Iordane it selfe is comparable unto this Thou ô Christ art this well Io 6.35 thou art this water Thou hast promised that hee which cometh to thee shall never hunger hee which believeth in thee shall never thirst For thee Ps 42.1 ô Saviour I thirst for thy salvation I cry and intreate As the Hart panteth for the water brookes so panteth my soule after thee ô God vers 2. My soule thirsteth for God for the living God When shall I come appeare before God O God my soule thirsteth for thee Ps 63.1 my flesh longeth for thee in a drie and thirstie land where noe water is Noe more will I mind this body of earth or howsoëver not so wholly bend my thoughts upon the quenching the thirst of this parched clay This will I referre to the disposall of my God pray for comfort but onely conditionally If hee shall account it fitt for mee to die by this present thirst that my moisture shall be turned into the drought of summer Ps 32.4 I shall willingly submitt Howsoëver since his will is yet kept secret from mee I will pray for that which may yeeld mee comfort but onely conditionally if it may stand with his liking But as touching my poore dry thirstie soule I will pray directly peremptorily and absolutely besieching him to refresh it with the deaw of his grace Hee promised by his Prophet Is 35.7 that The parched ground should become a poole the thirstie land springs of waters I am that parched ground my languishing soule is that thirstie land Lord send mee that poole and those springs of waters By the same Prophet againe hee promised to his Church and said I will powre water upon him that is thirstie and floods upon the drie ground c 44.3 I will powre my spirit upon thy seede and my blessing upon thy off-spring This is his promise indeede but may I be so bould as to put him in mind of it Yes yes doe so ô my soule Hee loveth it hee delighteth in it Bashfullnesse in these cases is but dull stupiditie seeing thou hast authoritie to speake with confidence Wee must come boldly unto the throne of grace Heb 4.16 that wee may obtaine mercy and find grace to help in time of neede I will not leave him therfore I will not forsake him I will hang upon him I will follow him for those onely speede who are earnest in their suites Hee keepeth us off onely to heighten our desires not to deny our requests Hee seemeth to be angry when wee beginne to petition but wee misse-take the cause Hee 's displeased because wee came noe sooner or because wee come on noe faster Whatsoever hee hath promised hee will undoubtedly make good if wee are not wearie and slack in solliciting It is his delight to see us earnest and our reward