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Word A Word B Word C Word D Occurrence Frequency Band MI MI Band Prominent
spirit_n church_n holy_a truth_n 6,992 5 5.6746 4 false
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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A63893 Choice experiences of the kind dealings of God before, in, and after conversion laid down in six general heads : together with some brief observations upon the same : whereunto is added a description of true experience / by J. Turner. Turner, J. (Jane) 1653 (1653) Wing T3294; ESTC R27571 50,831 242

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choice_a experience_n of_o the_o kind_a deal_n of_o god_n before_o in_o and_o after_o conversion_n lay_v down_o in_o six_o general_a head_n together_o with_o some_o brief_a observation_n upon_o the_o same_o whereunto_o be_v add_v a_o description_n of_o true_a e_z x_o p_o e_o r_o i_o e_o n_o c_o e._n by_o j._n turner_n wife_n to_o cap._n john_n turner_n psalm_n 66._o 16._o come_v and_o hear_v all_o you_o that_o fear_v god_n and_o i_o will_v declare_v what_o he_o have_v do_v for_o my_o soul_n london_n print_v by_o h._n hils_n and_o be_v to_o be_v sell_v at_o the_o black_a spread-eagle_n and_o the_o three_o bibles_n at_o the_o west_n end_n of_o paul_n 1653._o to_o the_o church_n of_o christ_n who_o worship_n god_n in_o spirit_n and_o truth_n according_a to_o the_o holy_a commandment_n of_o jesus_n christ_n especial_o those_o my_o dear_a brethren_n at_o newcastle_n barwick_n and_o scotland_n with_o who_o i_o have_v take_v sweet_a counsel_n in_o the_o house_n of_o god_n for_o several_a year_n pass_v grace_n mercy_n truth_n and_o peace_n be_v multiply_v from_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ._n precious_a and_o dear_o belove_a brethren_n i_o know_v it_o will_v seem_v very_o strange_a to_o you_o if_o this_o follow_a treatise_n shall_v come_v to_o your_o hand_n without_o my_o public_a own_n of_o it_o as_o indeed_o well_o it_o may_v consider_v my_o near_a relation_n to_o the_o author_n it_o be_v no_o small_a joy_n to_o my_o heart_n that_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v in_o these_o our_o day_n any_o way_n by_o any_o mean_n to_o put_v his_o people_n in_o mind_n of_o that_o which_o they_o be_v so_o prone_a to_o forget_v namely_o the_o various_a working_n of_o god_n in_o their_o poor_a heart_n which_o you_o will_v find_v in_o this_o small_a treatise_n in_o these_o three_o general_a head_n viz._n before_o in_o and_o since_o conversion_n we_o find_v the_o lord_n in_o scripture_n often_o call_v upon_o his_o people_n to_o remember_v their_o unconverted_a state_n isaiah_n 51._o 1._o 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the_o same_o though_o in_o our_o judgement_n we_o can_v so_o own_v they_o which_o be_v a_o plain_a contradiction_n in_o our_o principle_n we_o say_v they_o be_v not_o church_n and_o minister_n of_o christ_n by_o our_o practice_n we_o say_v they_o be_v as_o have_v be_v mind_v second_o as_o it_o be_v a_o contradiction_n of_o our_o own_o principle_n so_o it_o have_v have_v such_o effect_n which_o be_v too_o visible_a and_o remain_v unto_o this_o day_n i_o must_v confess_v in_o my_o most_o serious_a thought_n i_o have_v wonder_v what_o shall_v be_v the_o reason_n that_o any_o in_o the_o house_n of_o god_n shall_v desire_v to_o be_v elsewhere_o i_o be_o sure_a there_o be_v no_o reason_n to_o be_v give_v for_o it_o neither_o from_o scripture_n nor_o experience_n therefore_o i_o conclude_v it_o be_v either_o from_o ignorance_n &_o so_o person_n in_o their_o practice_n cross_v their_o own_o principle_n and_o not_o know_v it_o or_o else_o it_o be_v from_o corrupt_a principle_n or_o else_o 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though_o i_o have_v escape_v he_o in_o all_o his_o former_a appearance_n as_o a_o devil_n yet_o now_o transform_v himself_o into_o a_o angel_n of_o light_n if_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o ever_o thereby_o to_o beguile_v and_o deceive_v i_o know_v that_o those_o that_o be_v so_o deceive_v be_v the_o fit_a agent_n to_o promote_v his_o kingdom_n and_o that_o many_o time_n he_o prevail_v this_o way_n when_o he_o can_v prevail_v no_o other_o way_n draw_v person_n to_o that_o by_o degree_n through_o corrupt_a principle_n which_o they_o will_v have_v tremble_v at_o the_o thought_n of_o before_o they_o have_v such_o principle_n but_o god_n be_v please_v not_o only_o to_o keep_v i_o from_o such_o thing_n but_o also_o discover_v to_o i_o the_o way_n by_o which_o person_n be_v bring_v to_o such_o thing_n that_o so_o to_o the_o praise_n of_o his_o grace_n i_o may_v avoid_v those_o way_n and_o also_o forewarn_v other_o to_o avoid_v they_o likewise_o but_o before_o i_o be_v bring_v to_o discover_v satan_n under_o these_o veil_n by_o harken_v to_o the_o voice_n of_o the_o tempter_n in_o the_o thought_n of_o which_o i_o desire_v ever_o to_o be_v humble_v in_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n i_o be_v deceive_v and_o beguile_v by_o he_o in_o some_o particular_a thing_n and_o that_o after_o this_o manner_n after_o we_o have_v live_v some_o time_n in_o london_n walk_v with_o the_o church_n in_o the_o practice_n of_o the_o gospel_n it_o please_v god_n to_o remove_v our_o habitation_n into_o the_o country_n where_o we_o have_v not_o that_o privilege_n and_o after_o a_o while_n my_o husband_n be_v in_o the_o army_n it_o occasion_v our_o
condition_n and_o what_o the_o lord_n have_v do_v for_o i_o who_o as_o i_o have_v former_o hint_v be_v much_o in_o the_o same_o condition_n with_o i_o who_o also_o declare_v that_o he_o have_v in_o a_o measure_n receive_v the_o like_a mercy_n which_o do_v much_o increase_v my_o joy_n then_o i_o remember_v he_o desire_v we_o may_v seek_v the_o lord_n by_o prayer_n and_o praise_v his_o holy_a name_n for_o these_o and_o all_o his_o mercy_n in_o which_o duty_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v so_o abundant_o to_o manifest_v himself_o to_o we_o thereby_o testify_v his_o acceptance_n of_o we_o that_o for_o a_o while_o we_o sit_v in_o admiration_n neither_o of_o we_o scarce_o be_v able_a to_o speak_v for_o tear_n and_o true_o it_o be_v such_o a_o mercy_n that_o i_o trust_v we_o shall_v for_o ever_o admire_v it_o at_o least_o in_o these_o five_o particular_n first_o that_o god_n shall_v deal_v so_o faithful_o with_o we_o in_o relation_n to_o his_o promise_n that_o when_o we_o be_v ready_a to_o turn_v to_o the_o right_a hand_n or_o to_o the_o left_a he_o cause_v we_o to_o hear_v his_o voice_n behind_o we_o say_v this_o be_v the_o way_n walk_v in_o it_o esay_n 30._o 21._o second_o that_o when_o we_o be_v stray_v from_o truth_n that_o the_o lord_n shall_v keep_v we_o that_o we_o stray_v no_o further_a that_o we_o do_v not_o run_v to_o the_o height_n of_o those_o notion_n deny_v the_o church_n and_o ordinance_n of_o christ_n and_o blaspheme_v the_o truth_n as_o very_o many_o do_v in_o those_o time_n even_o deny_v the_o lord_n that_o buy_v they_o three_o that_o the_o lord_n shall_v deal_v so_o fatherly_a and_o tender_o in_o his_o restore_n of_o we_o that_o it_o be_v not_o by_o any_o extraordinary_a affliction_n or_o chastisement_n neither_o be_v we_o at_o any_o time_n a_o trouble_n to_o the_o church_n or_o grief_n to_o any_o saint_n i_o know_v of_o four_o that_o the_o lord_n shall_v be_v please_v to_o bring_v we_o off_o so_o clear_o from_o those_o thing_n for_o many_o be_v bring_v off_o from_o they_o and_o yet_o there_o be_v still_o so_o much_o confusion_n remain_v upon_o their_o spirit_n that_o it_o be_v hard_o to_o discern_v whether_o they_o be_v bring_v off_o or_o no._n five_o that_o the_o lord_n shall_v vouchsafe_v this_o mercy_n to_o both_o of_o we_o &_o that_o at_o one_o &_o the_o same_o time_n and_o that_o at_o our_o return_n he_o shall_v manifest_v such_o a_o sweet_a acceptance_n of_o we_o melt_v our_o heart_n into_o tear_n of_o joy_n to_o our_o mutual_a comfort_n in_o the_o lord_n and_o in_o each_o other_o and_o so_o that_o stream_n of_o our_o heart_n be_v now_o turn_v from_o run_v after_o lie_a vanity_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o re-establish_a and_o confirm_v we_o every_o day_n more_o and_o more_o in_o the_o truth_n turn_v this_o sad_a yet_o bless_v experience_n to_o his_o praise_n and_o our_o great_a advantage_n the_o remembrance_n of_o which_o i_o trust_v shall_v be_v a_o mercy_n that_o shall_v stand_v we_o in_o stead_n at_o time_n of_o need_n while_o we_o live_v which_o the_o lord_n grant_v it_o may_v be_v so_o to_o the_o honour_n and_o praise_n of_o his_o great_a name_n and_o our_o own_o peace_n and_o happiness_n in_o himself_o amen_n some_o further_a consideration_n relate_v to_o this_o part_n of_o my_o experience_n it_o be_v that_o which_o i_o judge_v so_o considerable_a i_o can_v omit_v the_o review_v of_o it_o and_o the_o lord_n grant_v i_o may_v review_v it_o daily_o so_o as_o to_o have_v my_o heart_n raise_v to_o a_o holy_a admiration_n of_o the_o goodness_n and_o faithfulness_n of_o god_n towards_o i_o in_o it_o and_o that_o it_o may_v always_o lie_v as_o a_o strong_a engagement_n upon_o my_o heart_n to_o love_n and_o obey_v he_o in_o all_o thing_n which_o in_o consideration_n of_o his_o unspeakable_a mercy_n be_v but_o my_o reasonable_a service_n rom._n 12._o 1._o and_o as_o i_o desire_v for_o ever_o to_o bless_v the_o lord_n that_o he_o be_v please_v to_o deliver_v i_o from_o these_o deceit_n so_o it_o shall_v be_v my_o prayer_n that_o all_o the_o lord_n people_n may_v be_v deliver_v from_o they_o and_o that_o the_o rather_o because_o i_o be_o persuade_v that_o error_n of_o that_o nature_n be_v the_o worst_a of_o all_o other_o and_o doubtless_o they_o be_v the_o great_a mystery_n of_o iniquity_n that_o ever_o satan_n have_v on_o foot_n in_o the_o world_n but_o because_o i_o be_o not_o willing_a to_o pass_v my_o sentence_n without_o ground_n and_o because_o every_o thing_n that_o be_v reprove_v be_v make_v manifest_a by_o the_o light_n and_o that_o which_o do_v make_v manifest_a be_v light_n ephes_n 5._o 13._o i_o desire_v according_a to_o that_o light_n of_o truth_n which_o god_n have_v give_v to_o i_o far_o to_o consider_v not_o only_o in_o general_a that_o those_o kind_n of_o error_n be_v the_o worst_a of_o all_o other_o but_o more_o particular_o how_o they_o be_v so_o first_o i_o conceive_v they_o be_v the_o worst_a of_o all_o other_o in_o that_o they_o do_v natural_o tend_v and_o lead_v to_o the_o high_a degree_n of_o evil_a and_o that_o both_o as_o they_o take_v with_o gracious_a heart_n and_o as_o they_o take_v with_o carnal_a heart_n first_o as_o they_o take_v with_o gracious_a heart_n they_o do_v natural_o interrupt_v the_o soul_n communion_n with_o god_n and_o expose_v it_o to_o great_a temptation_n bring_v it_o to_o strait_n and_o extremity_n and_o into_o the_o great_a confusion_n that_o can_v be_v possible_a so_o far_o as_o they_o prevail_v and_o for_o the_o truth_n of_o this_o beside_o my_o own_o experience_n i_o appeal_v to_o any_o experience_a christian_a if_o it_o be_v not_o so_o second_o as_o they_o take_v with_o carnal_a heart_n they_o lead_v by_o degree_n to_o the_o great_a evil_n both_o in_o a_o spiritual_a and_o 〈…〉_o vil_fw-ge sense_n for_o such_o hear●●_n not_o be_v season_a wi●●_n grace_n they_o run_v from_o on●_n notion_n to_o another_o till_o they_o run_v so_o high_a as_o to_o stand_v direct_o in_o opposition_n to_o christ_n and_o his_o gospel_n for_o when_o they_o come_v to_o be_v confound_v and_o at_o a_o loss_n in_o their_o judgement_n and_o meet_v with_o such_o temptation_n which_o those_o error_n natural_o lead_v to_o they_o be_v overcome_v by_o they_o and_o under_o a_o pretence_n of_o live_v above_o ordinance_n they_o deny_v the_o ordinance_n of_o christ_n and_o by_o degree_n the_o whole_a word_n of_o god_n call_v it_o literal_a and_o carnal_a use_v under_o a_o pretence_n of_o spirituality_n blaspheme_v the_o name_n ●f_n christ_n call_v he_o a_o fleshly_a christ_n and_o so_o deny_v the_o lord_n that_o buy_v they_o 2_o pet._n 2._o 1._o and_o go_v against_o such_o strong_a conviction_n and_o clear_a manifestation_n of_o light_n and_o knowledge_n as_o some_o have_v do_v doubtless_o they_o have_v fall_v into_o that_o unpardonable_a sin_n express_v in_o heb._n 10._o and_o so_o come_v at_o last_o to_o jeer_v and_o scoff_n at_o all_o appearance_n of_o godliness_n and_o it_o make_v way_n for_o the_o high_a degree_n of_o wickedness_n also_o in_o a_o civil_a sense_n have_v give_v themselves_o up_o to_o work_v all_o uncleanness_n with_o greediness_n esay_n 4._o 19_o and_o so_o break_v all_o bond_n though_o they_o have_v escape_v the_o pollution_n of_o the_o world_n through_o the_o knowledge_n of_o our_o lord_n yet_o be_v again_o entangle_v therein_o their_o latter_a end_n be_v worse_a than_o the_o beginning_n 2_o pet._n 2._o 20._o according_a to_o that_o mat._n 13._o 43_o 44_o 45._o when_o the_o unclean_a spirit_n be_v go_v out_o of_o a_o man_n he_o walk_v through_o dry_a place_n seek_v rest_n and_o find_v none_o than_o he_o return_v and_o take_v seven_o other_o spirit_n more_o wicked_a than_o himself_o and_o they_o enter_v in_o and_o dwell_v there_o and_o the_o last_o state_n of_o that_o man_n be_v worse_a than_o the_o beginning_n he_o be_v now_o far_o more_o wicked_a than_o ever_o this_o be_v the_o nature_n and_o these_o be_v the_o effect_n of_o those_o kind_n of_o notion_n as_o they_o take_v with_o carnal_a heart_n and_o that_o it_o be_v so_o i_o appeal_v to_o the_o time_n in_o which_o we_o live_v if_o we_o have_v not_o see_v it_o so_o with_o many_o who_o have_v escape_v the_o pollution_n of_o the_o world_n and_o that_o evil_a spirit_n seem_v to_o be_v go_v out_o of_o they_o and_o they_o have_v make_v large_a profession_n of_o the_o power_n of_o truth_n in_o their_o heart_n but_o they_o be_v turn_v with_o the_o dog_n to_o his_o vomit_n and_o with_o the_o sow_n that_o be_v wash_v to_o she_o wallow_v in_o the_o mire_n glory_v in_o their_o shame_n and_o do_v that_o without_o any_o reluctancy_n which_o they_o will_v have_v tremble_v at_o the_o thought_n of_o before_o they_o have_v those_o
but_o a_o hatred_n and_o indignation_n against_o it_o it_o be_v thus_o with_o i_o at_o this_o time_n i_o can_v but_o much_o tender_a person_n in_o the_o like_a condition_n who_o do_v manifest_a by_o a_o good_a conversation_n a_o real_a work_n of_o god_n upon_o their_o heart_n though_o live_v in_o a_o discovery_n below_o the_o privilege_n of_o the_o gospel_n yet_o not_o so_o to_o tender_v they_o as_o not_o to_o tender_v the_o glory_n of_o truth_n above_o they_o be_v true_a to_o my_o principle_n in_o keep_v a_o strict_a separation_n from_o they_o in_o relation_n to_o their_o visible_a and_o public_a worship_n it_o be_v contrary_a to_o the_o rule_n of_o the_o gospel_n three_o observation_n from_o the_o three_o forego_v reason_n first_o concern_v the_o change_n wrought_v in_o the_o whole_a soul_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o there_o may_v be_v a_o change_n wrought_v in_o the_o whole_a soul_n to_o life_n and_o godliness_n long_o before_o that_o soul_n come_v to_o enjoy_v life_n by_o believe_v second_o concern_v my_o be_v stay_v upon_o christ_n when_o i_o be_v like_a to_o sink_v upder_v my_o burden_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o a_o soul_n may_v cleave_v to_o and_o real_o stay_v upon_o christ_n through_o some_o apprehension_n which_o present_v he_o lovely_a though_o it_o may_v be_v that_o which_o do_v not_o present_v he_o so_o lovely_a as_o indeed_o he_o be_v three_o concern_v that_o entire_a love_n i_o have_v to_o christ_n and_o his_o way_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o though_o the_o love_n of_o christ_n manifest_v to_o a_o soul_n be_v that_o which_o ordinary_o beget_v love_n in_o the_o soul_n to_o christ_n yet_o its_o possible_a there_o may_v be_v a_o real_a love_n to_o he_o before_o there_o be_v such_o a_o manifestation_n now_o have_v mind_v many_o particular_n as_o to_o my_o condition_n at_o that_o time_n when_o i_o do_v experience_n these_o thing_n i_o can_v altogether_o omit_v the_o kindness_n of_o god_n towards_o i_o in_o relation_n to_o persecution_n which_o though_o it_o be_v but_o small_a comparative_o with_o some_o other_o yet_o it_o be_v more_o than_o some_o meet_v with_o and_o it_o be_v that_o indeed_o which_o do_v require_v some_o strength_n from_o the_o lord_n to_o undergo_v it_o with_o comfort_n in_o which_o he_o not_o be_v want_v to_o i_o i_o judge_v it_o ought_v not_o to_o be_v forget_v by_o i_o and_o as_o i_o have_v comfort_n in_o it_o at_o that_o time_n present_a so_o i_o be_o still_o well_o satisfy_v that_o i_o suffer_v not_o as_o a_o evil_a doer_n because_o what_o i_o do_v then_o be_v upon_o a_o conscientious_a account_n according_a to_o that_o light_n receive_v i_o can_v mention_v many_o particular_n but_o i_o forbear_v hearty_o desire_v that_o it_o may_v never_o be_v lay_v to_o their_o charge_n but_o this_o book_n be_v intend_v by_o i_o as_o a_o remembrancer_n of_o the_o former_a deal_n of_o god_n towards_o i_o i_o think_v it_o not_o altogether_o useless_a as_o to_o remember_v the_o time_n i_o be_v in_o that_o condition_n &_o the_o manner_n how_o i_o be_v bring_v from_o it_o so_o also_o the_o time_n when_o i_o be_v bring_v from_o it_o and_o that_o be_v after_o the_o bishop_n be_v quite_o take_v away_o in_o the_o begin_n of_o the_o sit_v of_o the_o late_a synod_n and_o here_o i_o desire_v to_o remember_v with_o thankfulness_n to_o god_n that_o i_o be_v not_o ensnare_v by_o the_o change_n of_o time_n and_o law_n for_o at_o that_o very_a time_n when_o the_o presbyterian_a party_n so_o call_v begin_v to_o reign_v and_o i_o may_v have_v reign_v with_o they_o and_o enjoy_v smile_n from_o they_o be_v convict_v of_o a_o further_a discovery_n of_o truth_n i_o leave_v they_o and_o be_v content_a to_o become_v a_o scorn_n and_o a_o byword_n among_o they_o though_o i_o must_v confess_v i_o have_v much_o respect_n from_o some_o of_o they_o all_o along_o yet_o my_o suffering_n from_o that_o party_n be_v far_o more_o than_o the_o former_a i_o can_v here_o mention_v many_o particular_n but_o i_o forbear_v desire_v as_o for_o the_o former_a it_o may_v not_o be_v charge_v upon_o they_o only_o these_o general_a hint_n i_o hope_v will_v be_v sufficient_a to_o bring_v particular_n to_o my_o remembrance_n for_o these_o thing_n ought_v not_o to_o be_v forget_v by_o i_o because_o in_o the_o remembrance_n of_o they_o i_o find_v my_o heart_n much_o engage_v in_o praise_n to_o god_n and_o that_o several_a way_n one_o way_n and_o that_o not_o the_o least_o be_v that_o god_n have_v break_v their_o power_n for_o indeed_o i_o must_v needs_o say_v that_o according_a to_o my_o observation_n and_o experience_n i_o have_v see_v as_o persecute_v a_o spirit_n in_o they_o as_o ever_o i_o do_v in_o the_o former_a and_o they_o do_v appear_v as_o bitter_a if_o not_o more_o against_o such_o as_o be_v call_v anabaptist_n than_o ever_o the_o bishop_n do_v against_o those_o that_o be_v call_v puritan_n consider_v their_o time_n and_o power_n for_o as_o their_o time_n be_v short_a so_o when_o their_o power_n be_v high_a there_o be_v always_o a_o party_n which_o do_v a_o little_a awe_n they_o i_o shall_v say_v no_o more_o of_o these_o thing_n but_o that_o as_o i_o desire_v for_o ever_o to_o bless_v the_o lord_n in_o the_o remembrance_n of_o they_o so_o i_o do_v likewise_o desire_v that_o god_n will_v destroy_v or_o at_o least_o keep_v under_o every_o persecute_v spirit_n under_o what_o name_n or_o title_n soever_o call_v till_o he_o be_v please_v to_o give_v they_o repentance_n the_o three_o note_n of_o experience_n how_o i_o be_v bring_v to_o apprehend_v and_o believe_v the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n in_o the_o gospel_n and_o in_o believe_v to_o receive_v the_o assurance_n of_o the_o love_n of_o god_n in_o order_n to_o this_o experience_n i_o can_v omit_v to_o write_v something_o concern_v the_o read_n of_o a_o book_n by_o which_o as_o a_o mean_n in_o the_o hand_n of_o god_n i_o receive_v these_o never_o to_o be_v forget_v mercy_n after_o i_o have_v live_v about_o five_o or_o six_o year_n a_o strict_a professor_n be_v very_o confident_a and_o settle_a upon_o the_o lees_n of_o legal_a righteousness_n it_o please_v the_o lord_n there_o come_v a_o man_n to_o the_o town_n where_o i_o live_v who_o though_o he_o be_v general_o repute_v to_o be_v a_o honest_a man_n yet_o he_o be_v much_o oppose_v as_o hold_v gross_a error_n in_o his_o judgement_n and_o hear_v many_o speak_v very_o bitter_o against_o he_o i_o do_v much_o ponder_v it_o in_o my_o heart_n not_o da●ing_v as_o nicodemus_n speak_v concern_v christ_n john_n 7._o 50._o to_o judge_v before_o i_o hear_v and_o therefore_o i_o resolve_v to_o speak_v with_o he_o which_o according_o i_o do_v and_o find_v he_o speak_v such_o thing_n as_o i_o never_o hear_v before_o which_o i_o then_o ignorant_o judge_v to_o be_v error_n the_o thing_n he_o chief_o speak_v of_o be_v about_o free_a grace_n the_o nature_n of_o the_o gospel_n and_o the_o new_a covenant_n and_o though_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o gain_v say_v the_o truth_n of_o what_o he_o speak_v yet_o for_o fear_n of_o those_o evil_a consequence_n that_o a_o carnal_a heart_n may_v draw_v from_o they_o i_o can_v not_o receive_v it_o but_o after_o some_o discourse_n in_o much_o opposition_n yet_o not_o bitter_a against_o he_o in_o the_o close_a he_o desire_v to_o lend_v i_o a_o book_n in_o which_o he_o say_v concern_v the_o thing_n he_o speak_v i_o may_v find_v better_a satisfaction_n than_o he_o can_v give_v be_v but_o weak_a in_o expression_n so_o i_o take_v it_o home_o with_o i_o but_o be_v much_o afraid_a of_o error_n i_o be_v at_o a_o great_a dispute_n in_o my_o own_o spirit_n whether_o i_o shall_v read_v it_o or_o not_o but_o fear_v lest_o i_o shall_v seem_v to_o shut_v my_o eye_n against_o the_o light_n at_o last_o i_o come_v to_o this_o result_n that_o i_o will_v read_v it_o but_o first_o set_v a_o part_n a_o day_n by_o fast_v and_o prayer_n to_o seek_v the_o lord_n that_o what_o be_v truth_n in_o it_o i_o may_v embrace_v and_o that_o he_o will_v keep_v and_o preserve_v i_o from_o error_n which_o according_o i_o do_v and_o find_v the_o drist_n and_o scope_n of_o the_o book_n be_v to_o exalt_v god_n and_o lay_v low_a the_o creature_n i_o be_v much_o affect_v with_o it_o as_o also_o with_o some_o other_o particular_n but_o on_o the_o other_o hand_n these_o minister_n who_o word_n be_v then_o as_o oracle_n to_o i_o do_v so_o much_o cry_v out_o against_o it_o charge_v all_o to_o take_v heed_n of_o it_o it_o be_v full_a of_o error_n of_o dangerous_a consequence_n that_o when_o i_o come_v about_o the_o middle_n of_o it_o i_o be_v so_o surprise_v with_o fear_n of_o carnal_a liberty_n
as_o 1_o thes_n 5._o 17._o etc._n etc._n but_o yet_o notwithstanding_o i_o be_v dissatisfy_v about_o it_o that_o notion_n of_o wait_v carry_v such_o a_o show_n of_o spirituality_n i_o can_v not_o easy_o let_v it_o go_v but_o yet_o this_o trial_n have_v so_o shake_v it_o that_o i_o do_v begin_v much_o to_o question_v it_o and_o also_o those_o other_o notion_n of_o the_o like_a nature_n than_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o bring_v we_o safe_a to_o land_n through_o which_o mercy_n i_o have_v some_o little_a communion_n with_o god_n be_v able_a to_o speak_v of_o his_o goodness_n in_o deliver_v we_o from_o that_o danger_n but_o through_o that_o dissatisfaction_n which_o still_o remain_v in_o i_o about_o these_o notion_n it_o be_v interrupt_v again_o and_o my_o beloved_a have_v withdraw_v himself_o and_o i_o be_v very_o much_o trouble_v not_o know_v where_o to_o rest_v nor_o what_o to_o do_v but_o notwithstanding_o i_o do_v begin_v much_o to_o question_v those_o thing_n from_o that_o trial_n i_o have_v of_o they_o on_o the_o sea_n yet_o i_o be_v more_o incline_v to_o they_o than_o to_o truth_n for_o some_o time_n especial_o to_o that_o of_o prayer_n and_o three_o or_o four_o time_n after_o i_o remember_v in_o discourse_n with_o some_o friend_n i_o do_v a_o little_a plead_v for_o they_o which_o though_o it_o be_v my_o sin_n so_o to_o do_v i_o do_v not_o then_o know_v it_o but_o must_v needs_o say_v i_o do_v as_o simple_o and_o sincere_o aim_v at_o do_v the_o will_n of_o god_n in_o all_o those_o thing_n as_o ever_o i_o do_v in_o any_o thing_n and_o therefore_o though_o satan_n have_v so_o beguile_v i_o yet_o i_o obtain_v mercy_n because_o i_o do_v it_o ignorant_o but_o my_o trouble_n and_o want_v of_o communion_n with_o god_n do_v still_o increase_v insomuch_o that_o i_o be_v scarce_o able_a to_o bear_v my_o burden_n and_o speak_v of_o it_o to_o my_o husband_n who_o be_v at_o that_o time_n much_o in_o the_o same_o condition_n i_o remember_v among_o many_o word_n he_o speak_v some_o be_v to_o this_o purpose_n that_o see_v we_o be_v in_o such_o a_o condition_n and_o at_o such_o a_o loss_n it_o be_v best_a to_o speak_v but_o little_a that_o as_o we_o do_v but_o little_a good_a we_o may_v do_v but_o little_a harm_n which_o i_o do_v well_o approve_v of_o and_o after_o that_o i_o speak_v little_a for_o or_o against_o any_o thing_n till_o i_o be_v better_o satisfy_v then_o be_v so_o true_o in_o a_o day_n of_o adversity_n according_a to_o that_o counsel_n of_o the_o wise_a man_n in_o eccles_n 7._o 14._o i_o sit_v down_o serious_o to_o consider_v what_o may_v be_v the_o cause_n of_o my_o be_v in_o so_o sad_a and_o strange_a a_o condition_n through_o which_o consideration_n by_o degree_n i_o come_v to_o see_v and_o conclude_v that_o certain_o there_o be_v something_o amiss_o in_o my_o judgement_n as_o to_o those_o notion_n begin_v clear_o to_o discern_v they_o do_v so_o oppose_v and_o contradict_v my_o former_a receive_a principle_n that_o they_o can_v not_o stand_v together_o but_o if_o one_o be_v true_a the_o other_o be_v false_a and_o that_o i_o must_v leave_v the_o one_o or_o the_o other_o for_o though_o i_o have_v receive_v the_o new_a i_o can_v never_o full_o quit_v the_o old_a neither_o in_o judgement_n nor_o practice_n then_o i_o be_v restless_a in_o my_o desire_n for_o three_o or_o four_o day_n to_o know_v which_o of_o the_o two_o be_v truth_n oft_o time_n earnest_o beg_v of_o god_n that_o he_o will_v decide_v the_o controversy_n and_o discover_v to_o i_o which_o be_v according_a to_o his_o mind_n and_o which_o not_o be_v full_o satisfy_v that_o but_o one_o of_o they_o can_v be_v truth_n than_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o put_v i_o upon_o a_o particular_a examination_n what_o ground_n i_o have_v in_o scripture_n and_o what_o experience_n i_o have_v of_o both_o &_o in_o read_v and_o examine_v my_o scripture-ground_n i_o begin_v to_o discern_v a_o great_a inclination_n in_o my_o heart_n to_o the_o former_a principle_n find_v i_o think_v the_o scripture_n very_o full_a and_o plain_a for_o they_o but_o nothing_o for_o the_o other_o but_o what_o be_v from_o some_o dark_a mysterious_a interpretation_n which_o be_v very_o doubtful_a and_o for_o my_o own_o experience_n i_o do_v remember_v and_o be_v constrain_v to_o acknowledge_v that_o in_o receive_v and_o keep_v close_o to_o the_o fotmer_n i_o have_v joy_n and_o peace_n and_o much_o satisfaction_n and_o communion_n with_o god_n but_o since_o i_o receive_v the_o other_o the_o lord_n have_v as_o it_o be_v hide_v his_o face_n from_o i_o and_o i_o be_v fill_v with_o confusion_n and_o distraction_n and_o the_o remembrance_n of_o that_o trial_n i_o have_v of_o they_o upon_o the_o sea_n do_v very_o much_o help_v i_o now_o to_o see_v the_o falsity_n of_o they_o that_o in_o a_o time_n of_o trial_n i_o dare_v not_o stick_v to_o they_o as_o indeed_o i_o plain_o see_v that_o i_o can_v never_o stick_v to_o they_o so_o as_o to_o answer_v they_o full_o in_o my_o practice_n unless_o i_o shall_v have_v lay_v aside_o the_o appearance_n of_o godliness_n &_o have_v be_v very_o profane_a the_o consideration_n of_o which_o with_o some_o other_o evil_a consequence_n which_o i_o see_v clear_o do_v natural_o attend_v those_o thing_n be_v another_o mean_n by_o which_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o recover_v i_o from_o they_o and_o to_o discover_v satan_n under_o his_o veil_n to_o i_o how_o by_o these_o thing_n he_o do_v intend_v if_o the_o lord_n have_v not_o prevent_v he_o to_o have_v strip_v i_o of_o all_o my_o hope_n and_o in_o particular_a as_o to_o that_o of_o be_v save_v by_o a_o christ_n within_o and_o not_o by_o a_o christ_n without_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o that_o it_o be_v quite_o another_o thing_n differ_v from_o the_o gospel_n and_o that_o it_o be_v attend_v with_o this_o evil_a consequence_n even_o to_o overthrow_v the_o whole_a gospel_n and_o to_o deny_v the_o lord_n that_o buy_v they_o at_o the_o thought_n of_o which_o my_o soul_n do_v tremble_v and_o that_o if_o he_o shall_v have_v prevail_v here_o all_o my_o hope_n be_v go_v for_o i_o can_v not_o nor_o dare_v not_o rest_v on_o any_o thing_n in_o myself_o as_o a_o ground_n of_o hope_n for_o life_n and_o salvation_n but_o on_o the_o other_o hand_n concern_v my_o hope_n in_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n according_a to_o the_o gospel_n i_o can_v true_o say_v of_o that_o as_o peter_n do_v john_n 6._o 68_o lord_n whither_o shall_v we_o go_v thou_o have_v the_o word_n of_o eternal_a life_n so_o whither_o shall_v i_o go_v from_o the_o gospel_n there_o be_v the_o word_n of_o eternal_a life_n there_o be_v all_o my_o rest_n and_o hope_n in_o the_o lord_n jesus_n through_o the_o gospel_n and_o therefore_o i_o resolve_v in_o the_o strength_n of_o christ_n to_o stick_v to_o this_o and_o leave_v the_o other_o then_o second_o as_o to_o that_o of_o wait_v for_o a_o power_n to_o pray_v and_o that_o there_o be_v no_o command_n but_o from_o within_o concern_v both_o these_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o that_o it_o be_v not_o according_a to_o his_o mind_n but_o a_o mere_a invention_n of_o satan_n by_o degree_n to_o draw_v i_o from_o my_o duty_n and_o that_o it_o be_v attend_v with_o this_o evil_a consequence_n even_o to_o slight_v the_o scripture_n and_o command_n of_o god_n and_o to_o expose_v the_o soul_n to_o satan_n deceive_n to_o walk_v by_o the_o imagination_n of_o their_o own_o heart_n instead_o of_o the_o motion_n of_o the_o spirit_n and_o also_o it_o bring_v the_o soul_n into_o great_a uncertainty_n which_o the_o truth_n never_o do_v but_o on_o the_o other_o hand_n to_o do_v duty_n in_o obedience_n to_o the_o authority_n and_o command_n of_o god_n in_o scripture_n and_o to_o pray_v at_o all_o time_n as_o we_o have_v opportunity_n have_v receive_v a_o principle_n of_o grace_n by_o which_o we_o be_v make_v capable_a of_o prayer_n i_o see_v this_o be_v a_o clear_a and_o sound_a truth_n not_o be_v attend_v with_o any_o evil_a consequence_n nor_o bring_v the_o soul_n into_o strait_n and_o uncertainty_n but_o rather_o give_v enlargement_n in_o every_o condition_n and_o therefore_o i_o desire_v likewise_o to_o keep_v close_o to_o these_o and_o leave_v the_o other_o but_o oh_o the_o joy_n and_o comfort_n that_o be_v in_o my_o soul_n at_o this_o return_n i_o can_v express_v it_o but_o this_o i_o say_v it_o be_v to_o i_o as_o life_n from_o the_o dead_a and_o as_o i_o be_v blessing_n praise_v and_o magnifi_n the_o lord_n for_o his_o unchangeable_a goodness_n to_o i_o my_o husband_n have_v be_v some_o time_n from_o i_o come_v home_o to_o who_o i_o do_v declare_v my_o
the_o gospel_n this_o only_a as_o to_o possibility_n for_o ordinary_o it_o be_v not_o so_o but_o three_o by_o gospel_n qualification_n i_o mean_v such_o as_o be_v from_o gospel_n dictate_v from_o a_o clear_a apprehension_n of_o the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n therein_o be_v constrain_v from_o the_o love_n of_o christ_n and_o in_o obedience_n to_o the_o command_n and_o authority_n of_o christ_n the_o soul_n give_v up_o itself_o in_o all_o thing_n to_o be_v like_o he_o such_o as_o be_v wrought_v by_o the_o gospel_n and_o spirit_n receive_v they_o and_o they_o only_o be_v the_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n but_o as_o for_o those_o other_o qualification_n person_n that_o be_v ignorant_a of_o the_o gosspel_n and_o have_v not_o receive_v the_o spirit_n may_v be_v eminent_a in_o they_o which_o indeed_o for_o that_o they_o have_v such_o a_o resemblance_n of_o the_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n be_v great_a ornament_n as_o to_o appearance_n though_o as_o to_o inward_a glory_n they_o do_v many_o time_n prove_v miserable_a ornament_n be_v prop_n and_o stay_n that_o keep_v such_o person_n from_o come_v to_o christ_n and_o as_o it_o be_v say_v of_o the_o pharisee_n mat._n 21._o 31._o publican_n and_o harlot_n do_v enter_v into_o the_o kingdom_n rather_o than_o they_o and_o this_o i_o have_v experience_v that_o as_o to_o my_o receive_n christ_n upon_o gosspel_n term_n there_o be_v nothing_o so_o hard_a to_o i_o as_o to_o lay_v aside_o all_o those_o qualification_n as_o i_o have_v already_o express_v in_o my_o three_o and_o four_o note_n of_o experience_n now_o for_o the_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n what_o they_o be_v be_v express_v both_o in_o general_a and_o particular_a term_n in_o general_a ephes_n 5._o 9_o the_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n be_v in_o all_o goodness_n righteousness_n and_o truth_n more_o particular_o gal._n 5._o 22_o 23._o the_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n be_v love_n joy_n peace_n long_o suffer_v gentleness_n goodness_n faith_n meekness_n temperance_n etc._n etc._n also_o there_o be_v other_o thing_n express_v in_o other_o term_n in_o scripture_n which_o doubtless_o be_v likewise_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n though_o i_o think_v with_o submission_n to_o better_a judgement_n all_o other_o be_v include_v in_o these_o whether_o it_o be_v self_n denial_n patience_n humility_n or_o the_o like_a these_o thing_n be_v excellent_a ornament_n which_o do_v adorn_v christian_n in_o the_o eye_n of_o man_n and_o do_v redound_v much_o to_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n and_o therefore_o very_o considerable_a for_o saint_n to_o press_v after_o they_o by_o all_o mean_n i_o must_v confess_v that_o in_o the_o view_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n i_o have_v many_o time_n be_v much_o grieve_v to_o see_v how_o short_a i_o come_v in_o all_o these_o thing_n but_o especial_o in_o some_o of_o they_o yet_o through_o grace_n i_o can_v say_v i_o have_v receive_v a_o measure_n of_o they_o all_o and_o by_o experience_n do_v know_v if_o my_o heart_n deceive_v i_o not_o wherein_o i_o be_o weak_a and_o wherein_o strong_a and_o though_o i_o be_o sure_a in_o those_o in_o which_o i_o be_o strong_a i_o be_o but_o weak_a consider_v how_o i_o ought_v to_o be_v now_o i_o shall_v speak_v a_o little_a how_o and_o by_o what_o mean_v according_a to_o my_o experience_n and_o as_o i_o judge_v according_a to_o scripture_n rule_n these_o thing_n do_v increase_v or_o decrease_v in_o saint_n first_o i_o conceive_v they_o increase_v and_o be_v strengthen_v by_o a_o close_o walk_v with_o god_n in_o all_o spiritual_a duty_n especial_o private_a duty_n meditation_n self-examination_n self-watching_a self-judging_a self-humbling_a and_o prayer_n which_o be_v indeed_o such_o duty_n as_o no_o hypocrite_n can_v true_o do_v not_o that_o these_o private_a duty_n be_v above_o public_a but_o that_o they_o prepare_v for_o public_a and_o by_o these_o we_o be_v acquaint_v with_o our_o own_o heart_n &_o come_v to_o know_v wherein_o we_o be_v weak_a and_o wherein_o strong_a what_o we_o have_v receive_v and_o what_o we_o want_v and_o so_o how_o to_o apply_v ourselves_o to_o god_n in_o public_a and_o private_a for_o the_o subdue_a of_o such_o a_o corruption_n or_o for_o the_o supply_n of_o such_o or_o such_o a_o grace_n and_o this_o according_a to_o my_o experience_n as_o i_o have_v walk_v more_o or_o less_o close_a with_o god_n in_o these_o private_a duty_n so_o be_v my_o profit_n in_o public_a duty_n and_o my_o strength_n in_o qualification_n the_o habit_n of_o grace_n more_o or_o less_o and_o i_o be_o confident_a that_o such_o person_n as_o be_v stranger_n to_o these_o private_a duty_n be_v also_o stranger_n to_o their_o own_o heart_n and_o will_v not_o make_v any_o great_a progress_n in_o christianity_n for_o in_o the_o omission_n of_o these_o we_o be_v subject_a to_o be_v exercise_v in_o thing_n contrary_a which_o do_v very_o much_o interrupt_v our_o communion_n with_o god_n and_o so_o weaken_v the_o power_n of_o every_o grace_n in_o we_o or_o rather_o weaken_v the_o power_n of_o grace_n in_o all_o its_o effect_n for_o these_o thing_n be_v not_o proper_o grace_n but_o the_o effect_n of_o grace_n which_o be_v various_a and_o so_o improper_o call_v grace_n as_o when_o we_o do_v not_o daily_o humble_v ourselves_o before_o the_o lord_n we_o be_v subject_a to_o exalt_v ourselves_o before_o man_n and_o when_o we_o do_v not_o watch_v our_o own_o heart_n and_o judge_n ourselves_o we_o be_v subject_a to_o be_v judge_v other_o and_o to_o watch_v over_o they_o in_o a_o evil_a way_n &_o when_o we_o do_v not_o daily_o meditate_v on_o those_o excellent_a qualification_n that_o be_v in_o christ_n himself_o we_o be_v subject_a to_o see_v little_a loveliness_n in_o they_o and_o so_o have_v a_o light_a esteem_n of_o they_o not_o to_o press_v after_o they_o whereas_o we_o be_v to_o imitate_v he_o in_o all_o these_o thing_n according_a to_o mat._n 11._o 28_o 29._o but_o second_o the_o habit_n of_o grace_n or_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n do_v increase_v or_o decrease_v as_o we_o do_v more_o or_o less_o exercise_n that_o measure_n of_o they_o already_o receive_v and_o every_o particular_a grace_n be_v increase_v by_o the_o exercise_n of_o itself_o and_o so_o by_o much_o exercise_n i_o mean_v by_o daily_a act_n they_o do_v as_o it_o be_v become_v natural_a as_o it_o be_v say_v of_o timotheus_n phi._n 2._o 20._o and_o the_o exercise_n of_o faith_n do_v direct_o lead_v we_o to_o the_o fountain_n of_o grace_n in_o behold_v of_o which_o glory_n of_o god_n we_o be_v change_v into_o the_o same_o image_n 1_o cor._n 3._o 18._o there_o be_v such_o a_o transform_a nature_n in_o it_o that_o the_o very_o behold_v of_o it_o transform_v we_o into_o the_o same_o likeness_n rom._n 12._o 2._o and_o i_o can_v true_o say_v from_o bless_a experience_n that_o in_o the_o exercise_n of_o that_o measure_n of_o grace_n i_o have_v receive_v thus_o lead_v i_o to_o behold_v the_o lord_n jesus_n in_o what_o he_o have_v do_v for_o i_o i_o have_v find_v it_o more_o advantageous_a for_o the_o destroy_n of_o corruption_n and_o for_o the_o strengthen_v i_o in_o those_o thing_n than_o in_o any_o other_o mean_n whatsoever_o and_o the_o reason_n why_o many_o person_n do_v sit_v a_o long_a time_n in_o the_o profession_n of_o truth_n and_o yet_o continue_v weak_a ignorant_a barren_a and_o fruitless_a branch_n it_o be_v because_o as_o they_o be_v remiss_a in_o private_a duty_n so_o they_o do_v not_o exercise_v that_o measure_n of_o grace_n receive_v and_o so_o by_o a_o heedless_a careless_a carnal_a walk_n the_o heart_n grow_v carnal_a and_o their_o be_v rather_o a_o decrease_n than_o increase_n in_o all_o spiritual_a strength_n but_o some_o will_v say_v can_v any_o do_v these_o thing_n of_o themselves_o and_o do_v not_o god_n give_v grace_n free_o both_o in_o and_o after_o conversion_n to_o which_o i_o answer_v yea_o but_o in_o the_o work_n of_o conversion_n we_o be_v passive_a i_o mean_v as_o to_o inward_a spiritual_a activity_n we_o can_v do_v nothing_o be_v dead_a according_a to_o ephes_n 2._o 1._o 2_o cor._n 5._o 14._o joh._n 5._o 25._o not_o exclude_v those_o duty_n which_o god_n require_v from_o all_o as_o hear_v the_o gospel_n read_v etc._n etc._n through_o which_o god_n have_v promise_v to_o convey_v spiritual_a life_n esay_n 55._o 3._o rom._n 10._o 17._o but_o after_o conversion_n we_o be_v active_a and_o therefore_o command_v to_o keep_v ourselves_o in_o the_o love_n of_o god_n judas_n 12._o to_o add_v to_o our_o faith_n virtue_n to_o virtue_n knowledge_n etc._n etc._n 2_o pet._n 1._o 5._o with_o many_o other_o such_o like_a scripture_n not_o that_o we_o be_v sufficient_a of_o ourselves_o to_o do_v any_o thing_n as_o of_o ourselves_o but_o our_o sufficiis_fw-la of_o god_n 2_o cor._n 3._o 5._o who_o be_v please_v to_o give_v in_o