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A20028 The defence of contraries Paradoxes against common opinion, debated in forme of declamations in place of publike censure: only to exercise yong wittes in difficult matters. Wherein is no offence to Gods honour, the estate of princes, or priuate mens honest actions: but pleasant recreation to beguile the iniquity of time. Translated out of French by A.M. one of the messengers of her Maiesties Chamber.; Paradoxes, ce sont propos contre la commune opinion. English. Selections Estienne, Charles, 1504-ca. 1564.; Munday, Anthony, 1553-1633.; Landi, Ortensio, ca. 1512-ca. 1553. Paradossi.; Duval, Jean-Baptiste, d. 1632, attributed name. 1593 (1593) STC 6467; ESTC S105222 52,873 110

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conclusion great folly in any Lord to be displeased or offended at the losse of his honors and liuings but rather with such fortunes he ought to reioice and be glad as being by so good occasion discharged of a burden so greeuous and heauy For this is my opinion that it were better for him to lose his worldly estate and dignitie then himselfe to be thereby lost and destroied for euer For Drinkers Declamation 7. That Drunkennesse is better than Sobrietie I Did heeretofore so breefely as I could deliuer vnto ye the great excellence and noble nature of wine that I might afterward inferre in what great honour reputation he ought to bee that especiallie loues it and longest continueth in delight thereof And albeit it seemeth to many a verie hard and laborious enterprise by reason of the abundance of good wordes and well conuaied language wherewith it is necessary they should bee thorowlie furnished in such a cause yet neuerthelesse will I boldly deliuer my opinion though I am vnfurnished of that diuine furie which ordinarilie worketh maruellous matters in our spirits whereof in this need might I receiue neuer so little fauour I should farre better satisfie your desires that are bent with attention to heare what I can say in this matter To proceed in our discourse I finde that the great vertue and excellence of wine hath beene of our elders so intirely known and approued that the highly esteemed Asclepiades did it so much honour as to couple the faculties and vertues thereof with them of the very cheefest Gods Which is agreeable with the consent of holy scripture whereby was autenticallie pronounced that wine was sent to men as by the especiall grace and immortall gift of God therewith oftentimes to refresh and recreate their spirites ouer much weakened and trauailed with long cares which they suffer continuallie in this worlde And heerewith altogither agreeth the opinion of good Homer in many places of his diuine Poesie And whosoeuer shal require of me greater proofe assurance I pray them to consider how that truth it selfe which is the thing that hath and yet at this day doth ouer-rule the greatest case in the world from all antiquitie holdeth principall consent with wine This is it which made place for the auncient prouerbe knowne sufficiently of euery one that in Wine is truth to be found wherein fooles children and drunken men are most accustomed to display it Wherefore I cannot sufficiently maruell at the great fault of learned Democritus who would sometimes maintaine that truth lodgeth her selfe in the bottome of a well this is greatly against the aduise and opinion of all the Greekes which euermore defended that her lodging continually was in VVine VVhereto very well consenteth Horace one of the most excellent Latine Poets who so soundly confirmed this matter in his learned verses made and composed by the helpe of this sweet liquor wherewith his stomach so plentifully abounded as hee coulde deliuer it backe againe forth at his eies To the same purpose the great Philosopher Plato would prooue and maintaine that wine was a very firme and sure foundation of mens spirites by the fauour and vertue whereof I may easilie coniecture that he founde the inuention of his goodly Ideas of his numbers and of his lawes so magnificent also that with the aide of this sweet drinke he spake so deepelie on the gratious argument of loue and likewise disposed his so well ordered Common-wealth VVithall he defended that the Muses flourished farre and neere in the very smell of Bacchus liquor and the Poet that drunke not profoundly therof could frame no verse excellent high-reaching or of good measure But leauing verse and Poesie let vs come to the kind drinkers of cleere water I would willingly demaund of them what good they can receiue in this world by vsing such an vnsauorie drinke In the first place how can a drinker of water well accomplishe housholde dutie when the naturall seede is more moist then any thing else and lesse strong for the procreation of children VVhich is the cause such people are alwaies weake feeble sicke and colour-lesse Likewise ye neuer sawe a drinker of water but was depriued of the true strength of all his members and hardie courage of hart He hath so little stomach so weake an appetite to digest his meates as commonly his life is short or else vnhealthfull For this cause it was that Saint Paule knowing Timothie albeit he was very yong in the strength of his age to take delight in drinking nothing but water admonished him to vse therewith a little wine if it were but for the onely health of his stomach and preuention of such diseases whereto by his complexion he was ouermuch subiect I await vpon this point the reply of some opiniatiue person who will tell me that such was not the aduise of Cistus Bullengerus nor yet of Nouellus Tricongius who dranke three measures of wine daily called Congii which contained three gallons and three pintes of our measure for which the Emperour Tiberius promoted him to honour and at the last made him Consull of Rome I againe replie on the contrarie that such was the opinion of the most wise and prudent king of all auncient memorie who saide in his Prouerbes that wine comforteth and refresheth the hartes of men likewise it is witnessed by the cōsent and testimonie of all Phisitians as the most singular remedy to chase greefe from the mind of man But if peraduenture some misbeleeuing humanist will not giue so much credit to the worde of so great a wise man as to the precepts of auncient Phisitians let him then consider and note well what at this day is to be found written by Hippocrates Galen Oribasus that wine serueth for a medicine to the cold and dulled sinewes giueth comfort to the weary and trauailed eies bestoweth an appetite on the tast-lesse stomach reioyceth the sad and afflicted spirites banisheth the imbecillity of the members giueth warmth to the body prouoketh vrine restraineth casting moueth sleepe taketh away ill digestion consumeth moist humors and maketh a kindly consent in the bodie Galen saith moreouer that wine greatly auaileth against wearisome complexion of age moueth the harts of men to force and prowesse recreateth naturall heate and giueth vigor to the spirits O how well did that good Lady Hecuba of whom Homer speaketh so honourablie knowe the pretious nature of wine when aboue all things she exhorted her valiant sonne Hector to cheere vp and reuiue his members wearied by continuall trauaile he endured in Armes with drinking of this diuine liquor The vertue whereof learned Pindarus knew well enough which made him a peerelesse heroycall Poet neuer could he haue accomplished his so highe and excellent Poeme by the vertue and goodnes of water but changing his stile into the great praise noble description of the vertue of wine the chiefest most notable men in the worlde made likewise such price and
wherewith to oppugne and ouerthrowe the chastitie of innocent maidens Yet thinke not that gold serueth only as a custome to persecute the modesty of women withall but assure your selues beside that it is daily the cause of monstrous treasons slaughter and many other deedes of vile excesse which the breuity of time and feare of offending ye will not permit me to rehearse Wherefore I will conclude with the good Phylosopher Possidonius that riches is the cause of infinite euils which contrariwise cannot be so said or alleaged against our holy and well aduised pouertie of whom learned Seneca speaketh honourably sayeng That the naked by this speciall meane is out of danger of theeues and such as are free from money may in besieged places liue at ease not dreading the feare of enimies Much better then without comparison is franke pouertie then such slauish riches seeing from pouerty springeth infinite profits and commodities and from worldly goods proceedeth nothing but vnhappinesse For the hard-fauoured face or fowle Complexion Declamation 2. That it is better to be fowle than faire WHo knoweth not how much the deformitie of body and hard fauoured face is to bee esteemed principally in womē for in men it was neuer in so great request hath neuer considered how many amorous sparks is dayly to be seen vnder an il-fauoured countenance and badde composed body choicely hid and couered which in a faire face finely polished giues often occasion of ceaselesse flames and cruell passions But the strong and inuincible bulwarke which the fowle face not onely of olde but likewise in these times hath erected for it selfe will encounter the fires of loue that are so damageable Do ye beleeue Gentlemen if faire Helen the Greeke and the gentle Troian Sheepheard had beene hard fauored or counterfeit in personage that the Greekes would euer haue taken so much paine in pursuing them Nor had poore Troy endured such cruell ruine and destruction in longe description whereof so many skilfull wits were wearied and tyred And if we shall compare and vnite together the beawty of the mind with that of the body shall we not finde a greater number of deformed people to be more wise and ingenious then the faire and well fourmed Let Socrates be our witnesse whome the historians and auncient figures represent to be so ilfauoured as might be notwithstanding by the Oracle of Apollo he was acknowledged to be the wisest man of his time Phrigian Aesope the most excellent fabulist was in forme of bodie so strange and mishapen as the verie ougliest in his time in comparison of him might rightly bee resembled to Narcissus or Ganimede neuerthelesse as each one may read hee was most rich in vertues and in spirit beyond all other most excellent Of great deformitie were the Philosophers Zeno and Aristotle Empedocles fowlie composed and Galba a very ougly counterfeit neuerthelesse they al were of maruellous and sweet disposed spirit Could any impeach the deformity of Philopoemen who after hee was seene to be a good and hardie souldiour came he not to the dignity of a most valiant captaine and was hee not reuerenced among his people for his high excellent vertues Consider Gentlemen on such as are of faire and corpulent fashion and ye shall commonly finde them to be sicklie more weake and lesse able to trauaile more soft delicate and effeminate then the other kind of people Againe ye shall sildome times see it happen that in a beautifull body being of great excellence chastity agreeth in selfe-same likelihood because it is to bee kept with great difficultie being by so many sought after so earnestlie What shall we say of such whoe not contenting themselues with nature doe daily frame very great complaintes against her making no spare of their goods or labour to reforme with all endeuor what seemeth best to them for fashion of their bodies because they be not appropriate or agreeing with their curious appetites Of such fooles I demaund seeing nature the most carefull and discrete mother of all things hath giuen them what she thought meet and profitable in the form of their bodies for what cause they should be displeased with her or imagine her a bad bestower who would neuer giue them any part of that folly which is so vainely set by and esteemed of by euery one Nature giues not to her friendes the things that may quickly be wasted by sicknesse or ouerthrowne by the course of age therefore true liberalitie is knowne by the firme and long continuance of the gift bestowen vpon any one and what see ye of lesse permanence then beawty Consider how it hath headlong throwne downe yong people into secret greefes and perillous daungers and allured them to such hatefull sins as right happie might he count himselfe that coulde escape them with his honor vnstained Contrariwise note the good and profit ensuing by deformitie when all they in generall that of olde time haue beene yet at this day are studious in chastitie doe openly confesse as nothing hath like force in them to tame and check the pricks of the flesh neither long watchings greeuous disciplines or continuall fastinges as one only looke vpon an il-fauoured and counterfeit person Hence ensueth that which is vsed as a common prouerbe concerning a very fowle deformed woman that shee serueth as a good receipt and soueraigne remedy against fleshly tentations O sacred and pretious deformity deerly loued of chastitie free from all scandalous daungers a firme rampart against all amorous assaults I perceiue that by thy meanes company keeping is the easier to bee allowed for thou takest from them all greefes annoiances chasing from thy societie all wicked suspitions as a very speciall remedy against desperate iealousie O that I coulde finde wordes worthy thy praises and deserts whence proceedeth infinit good and treasure which with great shame hath beene by the ignorant despised and blamed O what affection I haue to perswade my friends how they shoulde know henceforth to adorne and embelish themselues with the beawtie that for euer endureth and not to depart therewith from among vs either drinking eating waking sleeping or breathing I meane that beawtie that keepes vs companye euen to our graue and leaues vs not till the latest gaspe that which we may truely call our owne no way due or attributable to our parents Gaine-say me who shal I will rest my selfe on this opinion that much better is it to be adorned with such a colour then to trust or repose only in borrowed corporall beauty which so easilie corrupteth euen by the least touch of any feuer that may come vpon vs. I remember a yong maiden of Perigourd who perceiuing her beauty to be a very great suspitious and capitall enimie to her good fame and that in regard thereof she was daily required and solicited by many yong yoonkers her owne selfe with a rasour or some piece of siluer made sharpe for the purpose so disfigured her faire face that her two
See if olde Tobias after he became blind did feare or loue God euer a iot the lesse then he did before It was my chance one day to reason and conferre priuately with certaine of mine acquaintance that were blind and I remember that one among the rest who sometime had beene a dealer in merchandise sware and auouched faithfully vnto mee that his blindnesse did no waie grieue or offend him but hee the more highly thanked God therefore Because quoth he my sight being taken away I haue likewise lost the offence of spirit whereinto I was drawn in diuers places I frequented And he iustified that since this good fortune befell him he trauailed about his affaires into Spaine where he found himself highly contented that he could not see the great vaunting Spaniard nor so manye Gentlemen by the dozens that for fiue shillings of yeerely rent cause themselues to be entituled my Lord such a one or must bee named Knights at the least Another tolde me that he caused himselfe to bee led into Germanie about certaine businesse hee had with the Foulcres but neuer did he esteeme himselfe so happy as that he could not behold the manifolde discords among the Lords of the Countrey so many deuisions so many garrisons of Spaniards with so many new imperiall cuts A third man told me that he had beene in France about traffique of merchandise where he not a little reioysed that he could not behold the infinite pleaders a Hydra of suites and quarrels the number-lesse throng of catchers and purloiners of benefices a world of false accusers and masqued people chaunging as often in opinions as they doe in habites and attyre Then breaking forth into a great laughter if quoth he I should heereafter passe into diuers places of Italie where I haue accustomablie haunted heeretofore first of all I shall no more see in Romania and Lombardy so many partialities of Guelfs Gibelines so many faire buildings ruined so many bewtifull and goodly Citties destroied by factions I shal no more see the grosse feeding Millanois the auaritious Pauoyan the mutinous Playsencian the fantasticall Parmesan the gracelesse Cremonian the slothful Mantuan nor the proud Ferraran I shall see no more the prating Florentine the dissembling Bolognian the glorious Lucane the vsuring Geneway nor the boasting Modenan And continuing his speech he said to mee beside that he imagined himselfe most happy that the yeer past hee had not beene at Rome no more to note the excessiue pompe of infinite curtezans who clad and decked in the habilements of Queenes triumph on the patrimony of the poore fisher Likewise no more to behold in Naples the troopes of Moores the bands of Ruffians bawds and brothels the great number of knights of the broch who al day doe nothing else but walke with their noses vppe in the wind like Plouers as well in the fieldes as the Cittye with white wands in their hands so expecting their Fortune to the great detriment of their followers Nor likewise to see in Sicilie those great managers of iron-wheeld Chariots who at the least word offered them will counterfeit the countenance of another chollericke God Mars as if they would fight with the sea the fishes Nor also to see so many fine dames ready to be bought for a little to passe the time awaye with Gentlemen In briefe this good blinde man told me so much and so sweetly lulled me asleep with his words as he well-neere made me of the minde to plucke foorth mine owne eies for the greefe I haue to beholde in Venice such a crowde of nice darlings in Padua such indiscreet lookes in Vincenza such beast-like demeanour in Treuiso such disordered libertie at Verona such frantike fury at Brescia such miserable auarice at Bergamo such scrupulous countenances with sundry such like qualities in other places Of force then must they that are cleere sighted behold such things as would enforce stones to starte out of the walles by the great despight and greefe they bring to men In witnesse of the holye man who being newly become blinde by chance happened to meet on the way with Arrius the father of heretiques and hearing among other talke that Arrius greeued for the accident befalne the good man the blinde father thus answered That it was needelesse for him to greeue so much because quoth hee for this blindnesse I highly thanke my God were it not in any other respect but only that I may not see thee that arte such a wicked enimie to God Saide not good Iob that hee had made this couenant with his eyes that they should content themselues with looking vppon one onely woman and not to gaze after any other Hence it is that the Prophet complained so much that his eies robbed frō beasts saying death entered into his heart by the windowes of the body which are the eies seruing to ouerthrow mans vnderstanding whereto suddenly they represent and deliuer without finding any hidden ambush all that they see and perceiue abroad And when they looke to vanity listen what the gentle Poet saith So soone as I had seene I was lost How happened it to the holy Psalmist when by the very seeing of Berseba he was so ouercome with burning and lasciuious regarding her as he wanted not much of incurring the daunger of death The Euangelist exhorteth vs to plucke forth our eyes if they doe scandalize of offend vs and when is it that they doe not both these to vs If I would seeke further for the benefites of the blinde I should finde an infinite number First they haue no need of spectacles wherewith to see small thinges nor of eye glasses otherwise called Bernacles when they trauell in windie weather In Winter they need not feare that the ouer-much whitenes of the snow will hurt or offende their sight They are free from subiection to eie medicines which they haue need to practise that are subiect to the eyes inflamation to the dilating or inlarging the apple of the eie to helpe the disease called Scotomie or when all things in view seeme to be rounde for illusions the eye-gellie the web pearle teares fistula rheume bleared eies and other such like diseases They haue no need to distill the waters of Fennell Sage Veruaine or Eye-bright They need no Aloes infused in wine or prepared Tuthie the whites of egges beaten in rose water nor pilles for the sight Wherfore I conclude that it is better to be blind then to see neuer so well because the blind sees nothing that afflicts or torments them where contrariwise the best sighted haue ten thousand obiects that molest and offendes them without pardon which doth purchase to them so many anguishes brings them into such dangerous extreames as they cannot well tell how to recouer themselues againe How much thinke ye will it displease a poore pilgrime when he shall see in trauailing on his iourney a great many hideous horrible serpents creeping vipers and such like beastes when he shall
estimation thereof as the more part of thē ioyned on his side and martched vnder his Ensigne For example let vs remember the holy man Noah who first planted the vine and the fauour that hee bare to wine Neither was it lesse loued by Agamemnon Marke Anthonie Lucius Cotta Demetrius Tiberius and their children Bonosus Alcibiades Homer Ennius Paccu●ius Cossus Philip Heraclides and many other who for this cause were neuer reputed the lesse wise or vertuous And if we should need to make a more ample discourse on this behalfe by such nations as were addicted to this drinke we shall finde that the Tartares greatly subiected themselues thereto and muche more the Persians whose custome was to consult of their grauest and greatest matters of importance amongst their cups and bottels of wine And so were the Germanes wont to doe according as Tacitus witnesseth making the description of their complexions The Macedonians in like manner were beyond all things else great louers of wine for whom their Emperour Alexander instituted the most braue fight of drinking with carowsing King Mithridates was greatly giuen to wine and yet for all that ceased not to warre manfullye against the Romaines for the space of forty yeares together I am very sorie that I want apte wordes and tearmes worthye whereby to expresse the singular vertue which wine of it selfe bestoweth on the harts of men I am well assured that if I could recount them all vnto ye they would driue ye into no little maruell or admiration But say now in sooth doth not wine deserue supreme praises in making a sluggard or grosse conceited person to become a sweet pleasant and affable man A Lourden or lobcock to be a man apte and skilfull Of a coward or faint harted crauen to make a man hardy bold and couragious who without this meane should finde himselfe alone and euen starke naked as it were though he be engirt with a thousande other defences Hath not Greece by the meanes of wine wunne fame and honour thorow all Europe And in like case Bohemia and Germanie what shall I say of Polonia and generally of all Dalmatia What is spoken of Italie I will referre my selfe to the report of Plinie who writes that drunkennesse raigned there in his time in such sort as they would not only drinke themselues vnderfeet but likewise compell their horses and mares to drinke wine vnmeasurably so much was drunkennes through all parts of the world praised celebrated and helde in such account and esteeme as he that would not be drunke at the least once a moneth was not reputed a friendly companion Yong Cyrus would needes be accounted worthie to rule because he especiallie vndertooke to drinke a greater quantitie of wine then any other in his kingdome yet felt he not therby any perturbation of spirit Plutarch in the life of Licurgus giues this good note to the Spartanes that it was a custome amongest them to wash their new borne childrens noses and eies with wine to make them more strong healthfull and the better able to endure all paines whatsoeuer Infinite power of wine in howe many kindes doest thou shew deliuer thy selfe helpeful to men wel hast thou acquainted them with sufficient proofe of thy vertue when the very least part of thy power can abate and vtterly destroy the strength of deadlie Hemblock Wherefore doe ye thinke good Hesiodus recommended and enioyned by his learned verses that twentie daies before the rising of the dogge starre and twentie daies after onely pure wine shoulde be drunke without tasting one drop of water If this custome had beene entertained and obserued by the greate Lycurgus of Thrace he had not beene so dishonestlie cast headlong into the Sea for putting water into his wine To this effect serues vs the opinion of Celsus a very excellent Physition who among other precepts ordained touching the gouernment of health to drinke sometimes beyond measure And to proceed a little further let vs consider how many profitable medicines bathes emplaisters are made with wine and the Hircanes would wash the bodies of their dead with wine either to purifie them or perhaps because they imagined that by the vertue of this good liquor they might be recalled or broght to life againe Maruell not then if good drinke bee pleasing to common people seeing we finde that the verie wisest and best learned haue alwaies maintained the lawe held and allowed among the Greekes in theyr meetinges and banquets which was that so soone as any one came among them during their feast time they would constrain him to drink or get him gone which yet at this day is obserued in Germanie if not of all yet at the least of the greater number I will not blab that the puissance of wine had somtime such authoritie as to make the Seneses take Armes and thereby to obtaine such victories as are worthy to be registred in perpetuall Annales Nor will I tell howe in the yeere of the foundation of Rome three hundred and eighteene Luc●us Pyrrhus was sent against the Sarmates whome by the aide of wine onely hee conquered made subiect and yeelded tributarie to the people of Rome Wine was afterward in so great reputation with our fore-fathers as Mezentius to recouer onely some quantity therof for his disease according as Varro hath left to vsin writing gaue succour to the Rutillians against the Latines And if it were lawfull in this case to produce holy Scripture doe we not finde that our Lorde at the wedding in Cana of Galile miraculouslie vouchsafed to change water being a thing lesse good and excellent into wine most delicate and pretious VVith wine were the wounds of the poore Samaritane washed And beside some say that good olde Abraham made his daily offerings to God with the best wine in his vaults I could willinglie proceed further in this matter which especially pleaseth me beyond all other were it not I haue alwaies shunned odious prolixitie wherefore I will stay my selfe in this place earnestlie entreating each one of ye to embrace this so sweete desire of wine and to forsake the simple course of sobrietie because it maketh men so melancholy and bestowes on them such slender strength and vigour courage For Sterilitie Declamation 8. That the barren woman is more happie then the Childe-bearing I Knowe not by what reason it should be maintained that barrennesse is in any sort hurtfull or offensiue considering it is the meane to make strange affected and fantasticall woman to become more pleasing benigne ready to obey hir husbād Which contrariwise is not commonly found in a fruitfull woman who neuer wanteth height of heart and such bolde hardinesse withall as is maruellous to note Nor is it without reason considering the woman beholdes so manie faire and pretty children that depend only vppon hir commandement and with so great reuerence obey her wordes or signes heereby shee is puffed vppe in such sort as she thinkes she should not be a wife or
minding such matters For the poore sicke man considering that he is weake and diseased will preserue himselfe very dilligentlie from al manner of excesse and liue more soberly then can the stiffest and strongest composed bodies These kind of men are such to whom oftentimes it happeneth thorow the ouer-much fiercenesse of their good disposition and strength that boldlie or carelesly they oppose themselues againste a thousand greefes perils and daungers vsing meates prohibited for the health of man taking the corrupted ayre in the euening or else without any need will wander into tempests raine snow winde stormes and thus aduenture themselues from morning to night And the worse is their successe thorowe the confidence which they repose in their bodies which they feeling to be strong and lustie feare not without any discretion to fight heere with one there to smite an other spoile outrage and commit a thousand euils Then what recompence haue they for al these They fall into the rightfull hande of Iustice who without any regard of valour strength dexteritie parents or riches makes them miserablie and shamefully to finish their daies before their expected time It is then great folly to desire strength and health of body so earnestlie seeing it is the cause of so many mishaps were it not onely but in regarde of the warres which we should neuer beholde so cruell or fierce but by the confidence that men suppose to be in their health and bodily strength wherewith great and wise Lordes vse to iest at each other and make as small account thereof as of balles running along the pent-house of a Tennis court For Teares Declamation 11. That it is better to weepe often then to laugh at any time NOt without great occasion is it that I must assuredlie by good right confesse the mourner to bee in better estate then the laugher seeing Salomon in his most holy Prouerbes hath lefte vs in writing that it is better to sleepe and repose in the house of sorrowe then in that of ioy and pleasure By laughter many soules haue beene seuered from their bodies to the infinite greefe of their good friends but by sadnesse not one only which I euer heard of at any time departed but well pleased Laughter hath euermore beene perticularlie proper to fooles mouthes or people without sence And it is not read in any one place of the holye Scripture that our blessed Sauiour euer laughed at any time but that he wept and sorrowed is to be found in sundry passages of the good and faithfull Euangelistes For this cause hath he promised eternall felicity to such as mourne and them that laugh he hath menaced with death To weepe is a signe of penitence and compunction whereto we are often inuited and exhorted by the voices of the holy Prophets but laughter hath beene the cause of mocking it selfe as the euident signe of ouermuch boldnes If we would make regard of the commodities ensuyng by teares howe many disdaines and howe many rages haue beene qualified by one little teare of the eie How manie poore louers haue they vnited and confirmed together that before liued not but in langour distresse How many storming hearts fierce and cruell one against another haue they brideled softened made gentle How many great and honest recompences haue beene obtained and measured by the waight of teares I am of this opinion that all the force and puissance of men assembled together cannot so soon winne or compasse what it would haue as one only teare can yea oftentimes it hath conqueringly obtained grace euen from obstinate and moste pittilesse persons For proofe heereof Heraclitus was alwaies more esteemed for his weeping then euer was Democritus for his laughing See how many thinges worthy of eternall memorie Crassus by this vertue accomplished purchasing the name of a scorner of vanities If we should need to produce the profit of teares often weeping Let vs consider that while our bodies are but young and tender they make them to grow and encrease Wherefore many Nursses in regard heereof are not very hastie to quiet their infantes when they lie criyng in the Cradle but by these meanes suffer them to dilate and stretch forth their members for so they come to the suddener growth And if proofes should faile me against laughter I would content my selfe with this only of good Hyppocrates who hath left written that the diseases which ensue by accident of laughter without any manifest cause are the most difficult to be healed Let vs then set laughing apart seeing it bringeth such offence to man and agreeth not with his honestie and grauitie beside we finde not at this daie among so many lamentable ruines where any place or oportunity for laughing indeed may be graunted or suffered And let vs conclude that laughter wrinkles and makes olde the face counterfeits the person makes the heart ake woundeth the lungs inwards of the bellie so that after long laughing many greefs doe follow whereof we neuer make doubt till wee feele them So that if laughter bee not refrained it makes the pallat of the mouth to fall the throte sore the voice hoarse and oft times shakes the body verie greeuously VVherfore very excellently said the wise man that the end of laughter was greefe and teares which ordinarilie endureth more space of time hath a longer taile behinde it than euer had mourning But the end of continuall teares after this mortall life is ioy and perpetual delectation which neuer hath ending and such as are promised by him who is onely truth it selfe For Dearth Declamation 12. That Scarsitie is better than aboundance ANy man of common sence and opinion will assure yee that for the ease and better estate of his person as also continuance of his pleasures aboundance or earthly goods ought well to be had in request But for one voluptuous man ye shall finde of this opinion I will furnish yee with an hundred of very singular spirit and perfect iudgement that liberally will maintaine the fertillitie and aboundance of goodes in this worlde is the mother and nursse of all euils enemie to all modesty and honestie and cheefe aduersarie to sobrietie The good Lady of Henault bemoned the great Dearth which the turbulence of the warres had caused and among other thinges she wept for the fertillitie of the former yeares past when as she called to minde what store of corne and wines she had and that before a weeke would be past both shee and all hir house shoulde scant tell where to gette foode or drinke once a day But the sober and frugal Solon-nist saith well to the contrarie that the lesse store of victuals are in a contrey the lesse is the insolence of the inhabitāts who in time of aboundance disdain the seruice of their superiors then hath a man greater paine to get a seruant how poore soeuer or bad disposed he be then a man of wisedome well skilde in good letters Moreouer what else
thinke we may be the plentie of one or two yeeares when wee giue our selues to so great feasting but euen an earnest of the dearth in them that may or will followe soone after The interpretatiō that iust Ioseph made of Pharaohs dream may serue for witnesse heereof What is it that better giues knowledge of the price of any thing bee it neuer so excellent then the Dearth or scarsity therof In the East Countreys among the Sauages no more esteeme is made of golde or pretious stones then we in these partes doo make of yron lead or brasse In Madera Cyprus and other Islandes where the Sugars doe grow they giue them to their Swine to eate as we in the Countreyes neerer hande giue them great aboundance of fruites And wherefore doe they thus Euen because exceeding plenty maketh the contempt of most excellent things For experience when times fall out according to our owne wish how many is there among vs that remembers God therby and giues him thanks with a good hart but onely in a manner by waye of countenance But when times come that wee like not of then is it that we turne vnto him and cry him mercie then confesse we only his diuine incomparable bountie greatnesse and excellence Infalliblie the value of bread and wine which are things needfull for nourishing the body and to preserue the soule therein is neuer knowne in the time of aboundance when we make spoile thereof cast it at our feete and giue it to feede filthie beastes Nor may I forget howe in some Countreyes stored with Vineyardes when one plentifull yeere comes among other they will bee so insolent as to make waste thereof at euery street corner But when they haue little store of wine and graine then they taste sauour so well and vse them in so small quantities as nothing at all is lost We thinke on God praise him and giue him thankes but then we doe it best when we giue our selues to know his great vertues Then our bodies are most healthfull and actiue because our wine is well tempered and we eate our wheate so pure as they both togither may ingender the opilations of faith and not of other matters And as for the viuacitie of the spirit I say that euen as in the time of fast or diet the spirits work best and greatest causes so in the time of searsitie they engender not such huge numbers of smokes as hinder them from dooing their diuine operations For this especiallie among other causes at first were the fastes and Lent time instituted in good season and time of flowing plentie after wine good corne a thousand disagreements a thousand batteries a thousand lawe-strifes and contentions When a poore labouring man had his halfe-peny towards a pinte of wine then could hee make mery with his fellowes so long as to driue away yrkesome wearinesse Then were none so simple but sate at the table with the house-mayster and fed as at a franke marriage feast and when the belly was full then to dauncing Let vs now make some little discourse of Countryes fertile and abounding in all goods comparing them with such as are barren and vnfruitfull and let vs see if their inhabitants are better natured or disposed then they that dwell in the desarts or regions neuer tilled and not fertile First of all in Hircania if it be true which that most faithfull Greeke hath written in his historie one only stocke of a Vine yeeldeth about a Tunne of wine and euery foote of a figge tree filleth wel neer forty frailes with that fruit The wheat although it naturallie fall to the ground from the eare on the stalke yet without any industry or humane labour it increaseth euery yeare in mightie aboundance The Bees doe naturallie work their honny on the trees from whence euen as Manna from Heauen it droppeth continually down on the earth and there are none will take the paines to gather it All this notwithstanding the people of that countrey are accounted the most cruell fierce and wickedst Nation in all the world In the Indian Countryes the Earth beareth twise a yeere and they haue two seasons for gathering their fruites neuerthelesse if yee knew the people of the Countrey ye shall finde them fantasticall lyers and deceiuers to the vttermost In Babilon euery little corne of wheat bringeth foorth two hundreth other for it beside this the millet and other bread graine thorow the strange and wonderfull nature of the soile stretcheth vppe in such height as do the trees Yet notwithstanding all these thinges the inhabitants of the Countrey are more abounding in vile life and villanies then all other nations are beside In Tacapa a great Citty of Africa is to be founde such store and aboundance of whatsoeuer can bee desired for the nourishment and life of man al things at so small a rate or price as they scantlye make any reckoning thereof in like manner is there to bee found the verie plentifullest store that can be named of theeues adulterers treasons and infidelities Now let vs conferre heerewith the other part the barren regions or lesse fertile in goods and let vs see if they be not altogither industrious freends to vertue and greatly hardened for paines and bodily labours In the firste place lette vs consider what the Countrey of Denmarke is and what the Franconians and Danes haue beene that thence issued Let vs remember withall the Scythians that liue at this day in trauaile without any certaine habitation now in one place then in another What and how many braue warriours haue come from this people Euen as in our times we haue seene issued from the Isles of Ireland Swethen and Countries vnfruitfull colde and partlie neighbors to Scotland Yet in these countries is found for nourriture of the inhabitantes nothing more then milke and fish but for softnesse and delicatenesse none else like them But let vs leaue strangers and onely make discouerie of ourselues How many men of wisedome and authoritie thinke ye in time of our memorie hath issued from the vntilled and mountaine countreyes of Sauoye Daulphine Auuergne Gascoigne Limosine and Perigueulx Imagine ye that the Rabulanes Onions and Beanes of these seuerall soiles could in ought diminish their goodnesse of spirit Thinke ye for these they owe ought to our minions of the Court elsewhere who are nourished and brought vppe with all wanton and lickerish thinges How many Chancellors Presidents Councellors Knights captaines and such like haue ye seene and daily doe beholde in honour of these quarters more then any other yet their countries are of such nature as their Coleworts Mullets Turneps and Chesenuts doth there giue them better nourishment then will the moste pretious wheat or graine in the worlde This inferreth and prooueth well vnto yee that without this scant and frugall arsimonie which to them is naturall neuer would they haue beene such as now they are I agree very well with yee that after they haue once