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say_v new_a rectour_n contradict_v not_o the_o sub-rectour_a who_o be_v my_o confessarius_fw-la but_o rather_o man_n direct_v he_o to_o give_v i_o comfort_n and_o scope_n and_o that_o there_o be_v no_o cause_n of_o fear_n and_o that_o he_o shall_v not_o conduct_v my_o soul_n by_o such_o straight_a &_o narrow_a way_n and_o with_o such_o restriction_n but_o shall_v permit_v the_o spirit_n of_o our_o lord_n to_o work_v in_o i_o for_o indeed_o at_o some_o time_n it_o seem_v that_o by_o reason_n of_o those_o great_a impetuosity_n of_o spirit_n the_o soul_n have_v scarce_o room_n for_o so_o much_o as_o to_o breath_n i_o go_v then_o to_o visit_v this_o rectour_n and_o my_o ghostly_a father_n require_v i_o to_o treat_v with_o he_o with_o all_o liberty_n and_o clearness_n as_o for_o i_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o find_v very_o great_a difficulty_n to_o declare_v myself_o in_o that_o kind_n but_o yet_o real_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o even_o at_o my_o very_a first_o entrance_n into_o the_o 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in_o the_o exercise_n of_o bounty_n her_o compassion_n be_v most_o eminent_a to_o ward_o the_o relief_n of_o all_o creature_n in_o misery_n &_o so_o especial_o be_v her_o solicitude_n to_o consolate_v &_o regale_n all_o such_o in_o all_o occasion_n as_o be_v entrust_v to_o her_o care_n while_o yet_o she_o will_v needs_o be_v unkind_a and_o even_o as_o it_o be_v cruel_a to_o herself_o alone_o above_o all_o thing_n she_o be_v a_o most_o perfect_a lover_n of_o truth_n &_o so_o full_a of_o matchless_a candour_n &_o sincerity_n in_o all_o expression_n &_o upon_o all_o occasion_n that_o she_o will_v no_o more_o have_v even_o so_o much_o as_o but_z disguised_z it_o and_o much_o less_o vary_a from_o it_o in_o the_o least_o kind_n especial_o when_o the_o question_n have_v any_o way_n concern_v she_o own_o advantage_n than_o she_o will_v have_v sell_v herself_o for_o a_o slave_n these_o i_o say_v be_v the_o condition_n of_o this_o admirable_a creature_n and_o these_o be_v the_o part_n of_o her_o mind_n which_o yet_o i_o consider_v but_o in_o the_o nature_n of_o fruit_n but_o they_o grow_v from_o these_o root_n which_o follow_v a_o most_o profound_a humility_n a_o most_o inviolable_a chastity_n a_o most_o strict_a love_n of_o poverty_n a_o most_o unshake_a and_o invincible_a patience_n in_o despite_n of_o sharp_a sickness_n torment_v pain_n and_o endless_a persecution_n a_o most_o ardent_a and_o inflame_a charity_n both_o towards_o god_n &_o man_n which_o breed_v a_o eager_a and_o insatiable_a appetite_n to_o win_v soul_n a_o undaunted_a fortitude_n &_o high_a courage_n and_o that_o no_o less_o in_o the_o endeavour_v great_a thing_n then_o in_o the_o suffer_a hard_a thing_n a_o constant_a continual_a supernatural_a &_o most_o elevate_v course_n of_o prayer_n and_o contemplation_n such_o a_o kind_n of_o excellent_a creature_n be_v this_o but_o yet_o when_o i_o overlook_v the_o little_a which_o i_o have_v here_o set_v down_o i_o confess_v it_o seem_v at_o the_o first_o even_o 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particular_n recount_v with_o great_a authority_n else_o where_o for_o the_o proof_n of_o how_o she_o profess_v herself_o after_o a_o high_a &_o most_o heroical_a manner_n in_o the_o practice_n &_o pursuit_n of_o virtue_n in_o order_n to_o all_o sanctity_n &_o perfection_n to_o which_o she_o aspire_v &_o where_o by_o god_n great_a mercy_n she_o arrive_v will_v have_v no_o less_o avow_a then_o encourage_v my_o pen_n to_o have_v do_v she_o much_o more_o honour_n that_o be_v more_o right_a if_o it_o have_v not_o be_v employ_v by_o so_o weak_a a_o hand_n as_o i_o but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o have_v consider_v the_o example_n of_o the_o holy_a s._n hierome_n who_o writing_n of_o his_o s._n paula_n to_o eustochium_fw-la her_o daughter_n have_v these_o word_n i_o take_v jesus_n and_o his_o saint_n to_o witness_v as_o also_o that_o particular_a angel_n who_o be_v the_o guardian_n and_o companion_n of_o this_o admirable_a woman_n that_o i_o will_v say_v nothing_o of_o she_o for_o favour_n 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we_o shall_v consider_v they_o in_o the_o natural_a or_o supernatural_a way_n it_o be_v more_o than_o i_o have_v be_v able_a to_o know_v either_o by_o read_v or_o else_o by_o discourse_n &_o yet_o i_o have_v be_v careful_a enough_o to_o inquire_v but_o now_o the_o certainty_n of_o this_o truth_n will_v yet_o even_o further_o appear_v when_o i_o shall_v tell_v you_o that_o which_o follow_v and_o it_o be_v that_o when_o the_o saint_n make_v observation_n &_o have_v experience_n of_o the_o world_n be_v great_a frailty_n and_o less_o perfection_n and_o that_o the_o religious_a order_n and_o house_n where_o she_o have_v enter_v have_v obtain_v certain_a relaxation_n and_o dispensation_n from_o diverse_a strict_a clause_n and_o condition_n of_o the_o first_o institute_n and_o when_o she_o have_v also_o meet_v with_o some_o custom_n through_o which_o even_o herself_o have_v receive_v disadvantage_n by_o dissipation_n and_o diminution_n of_o spirit_n as_o namely_o in_o regard_n of_o great_a &_o public_a resort_n to_o the_o house_n and_o a_o multitude_n of_o unnecessary_a conversation_n and_o especial_o for_o that_o they_o be_v not_o bind_v to_o continual_a clausure_n but_o have_v liberty_n to_o go_v abroad_o though_o yet_o only_o by_o leave_n of_o their_o superior_n to_o visit_v their_o parent_n and_o near_a kindred_n at_o some_o time_n she_o grow_v into_o a_o full_a resolution_n that_o if_o ever_o it_o shall_v be_v in_o her_o power_n to_o free_v herself_o from_o that_o course_n and_o to_o set_v more_o limit_v bound_n upon_o her_o way_n and_o to_o invite_v other_o also_o by_o her_o example_n to_o express_v their_o great_a desire_n to_o gain_v and_o perfect_a soul_n she_o will_v not_o fail_v to_o put_v that_o purpose_n of_o she_o in_o execution_n and_o so_o after_o the_o expire_a of_o some_o time_n &_o the_o encounter_v of_o many_o impediment_n and_o the_o overcome_v a_o world_n of_o difficulty_n she_o grow_v to_o express_v her_o love_n to_o our_o b_o lord_n but_o in_o the_o person_n of_o such_o creature_n as_o for_o who_o he_o die_v to_o such_o a_o proportion_n and_o in_o so_o high_a a_o kind_n as_o to_o project_v and_o perfect_a so_o great_a and_o hard_o a_o work_n as_o that_o perhaps_o no_o woman_n will_v be_v see_v to_o have_v ever_o procure_v and_o perform_v the_o like_a for_o to_o reform_v a_o religious_a order_n and_o to_o reduce_v it_o to_o the_o first_o strict_a institute_n be_v a_o matter_n of_o much_o more_o difficulty_n then_o to_o find_v one_o and_o for_o a_o woman_n who_o be_v of_o no_o absolute_a power_n to_o command_v to_o pass_v through_o so_o many_o impediment_n and_o to_o win_v the_o prize_n and_o to_o adorn_v even_o that_o original_a rule_n itself_o with_o so_o many_o holy_a and_o wise_a document_n and_o constitution_n of_o her_o own_o for_o the_o raise_n and_o true_a refine_n of_o spirit_n according_a to_o the_o necessity_n and_o exigence_n of_o those_o present_a most_o deprave_a time_n make_v the_o business_n become_v yet_o more_o hard_a and_o strange_a on_o the_o one_o side_n and_o more_o useful_a also_o &_o more_o excellent_a on_o the_o other_o for_o as_o i_o conceive_v it_o to_o be_v a_o truth_n that_o there_o be_v no_o one_o approve_a order_n of_o religious_a people_n in_o the_o holy_a catholic_a church_n which_o be_v not_o of_o the_o best_a of_o all_o other_o in_o that_o way_n of_o spirit_n for_o which_o it_o be_v chief_o institute_v by_o almighty_a god_n and_o especial_o for_o those_o time_n in_o which_o it_o be_v institute_v so_o be_v it_o not_o only_a piety_n but_o even_o prudence_n also_o to_o believe_v that_o since_o this_o bless_a woman_n be_v stirred-up_a by_o god_n holy_a spirit_n in_o this_o age_n of_o we_o for_o the_o redress_n of_o our_o modern_a great_a disorder_n that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n
any_o because_o then_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o multiply_v our_o virtue_n by_o that_o mean_n the_o twelve_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v her_o discourse_n of_o the_o first_o state_n or_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o declare_v how_o far_o we_o may_v arrive_v of_o ourselves_o by_o the_o favour_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o of_o the_o hurt_n it_o bring_v to_o desire_v that_o our_o spirit_n may_v rise_v to_o supernatural_a and_o extraordinary_a thing_n till_o our_o lord_n himself_o be_v please_v to_o ordain_v it_o that_o which_o i_o pretend_v to_o give_v to_o be_v understand_v in_o the_o last_o chapter_n though_o yet_o i_o divert_v myself_o much_o upon_o other_o thing_n in_o regard_n that_o i_o think_v they_o very_o necessary_a be_v to_o declare_v how_o much_o we_o may_v be_v able_a to_o acquire_v and_o how_o in_o this_o first_o part_n of_o our_o devotion_n we_o may_v to_o some_o proportion_n help_v ourselves_o because_o the_o consider_v and_o ruminate_v upon_o that_o which_o our_o lord_n suffer_v for_o we_o be_v wont_a to_o move_v we_o to_o compassion_n and_o the_o sorrow_n and_o tear_n which_o grow_v from_o thence_o be_v a_o very_a savoury_a and_o delightful_a kind_n of_o thing_n and_o so_o to_o think_v of_o the_o glory_n for_o which_o we_o hope_v and_o of_o the_o love_n which_o our_o lord_n bear_v we_o as_o also_o of_o his_o resurrection_n move_v we_o to_o joy_n which_o be_v neither_o whole_o spiritual_a nor_o whole_o sensual_a but_o this_o be_v a_o virtuous_a kind_n of_o joy_n on_o the_o one_o side_n as_o on_o the_o other_o that_o former_a pain_n be_v very_o meritorious_a and_o of_o this_o sort_n be_v all_o those_o thing_n which_o cause_n any_o such_o devotion_n as_o be_v acquire_v in_o part_n by_o the_o understanding_n though_o yet_o there_o be_v no_o merit_n nor_o gain_v therein_o unless_o almighty_a god_n be_v please_v to_o give_v it_o but_o now_o it_o will_v be_v very_o fit_a for_o a_o soul_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v not_o raise_v any_o high_a not_o to_o procure_v to_o exalt_v herself_o and_o let_v this_o be_v very_o well_o note_v for_o the_o contrary_a course_n will_v help_v she_o to_o nothing_o but_o loss_n in_o this_o degree_n or_o state_n she_o may_v perform_v many_o good_a act_n by_o way_n of_o resolve_v to_o do_v great_a thing_n for_o almighty_a god_n and_o to_o awake_v and_o stirr-up_a her_o love_n and_o other_o also_o by_o way_n of_o assist_v herself_o to_o grow-up_a in_o several_a virtue_n according_a to_o what_o be_v contain_v in_o a_o certain_a book_n call_v the_o art_n of_o serve_v god_n which_o be_v a_o very_a good_a one_o and_o very_o proper_a for_o such_o as_o find_v themselves_o in_o this_o state_n because_o the_o understanding_n do_v act_n and_o exercise_v itself_o here_o she_o may_v also_o represent_v herself_o as_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n and_o accustom_v herself_o to_o be_v great_o enamour_v with_o his_o most_o sacred_a humanity_n and_o to_o be_v ever_o carry_v that_o along_o in_o her_o company_n and_o to_o be_v often_o speak_v to_o it_o and_o to_o beg_v his_o continual_a assistance_n in_o all_o her_o necessity_n and_o even_o to_o complain_v to_o he_o of_o her_o affliction_n and_o to_o joy_v with_o he_o for_o her_o contentment_n and_o gust_n but_o yet_o not_o to_o forget_v he_o upon_o occasion_n thereof_o and_o all_o this_o without_o procure_v to_o express_v herself_o in_o any_o set_v kind_a of_o prayer_n but_o to_o make_v use_n of_o such_o word_n alone_o as_o may_v have_v conformity_n with_o her_o own_o necessity_n and_o desire_n this_o be_v a_o note_n excellent_a way_n of_o find_v profit_n and_o that_o in_o a_o very_a short_a time_n and_o whosoever_o shall_v earnest_o labour_v to_o carry_v this_o precious_a company_n with_o himself_o and_o shall_v have_v proceed_v well_o therein_o and_o shall_v have_v find_v the_o way_n of_o love_a in_o very_o good_a earnest_n this_o lord_n of_o we_o to_o who_o we_o owe_v so_o much_o i_o will_v give_v and_o pass_v my_o word_n that_o this_o person_n be_v a_o very_a good_a proficient_a for_o this_o purpose_n let_v it_o not_o trouble_v we_o a_o whitt_n not_o to_o find_v ourselves_o with_o sensible_a devotion_n as_o i_o have_v say_v but_o let_v we_o give_v thanks_n to_o our_o lord_n for_o give_v we_o so_o good_a desire_n to_o please_v he_o though_o our_o work_n be_v weak_a this_o way_n of_o carry_v christ_n our_o lord_n in_o our_o company_n be_v very_o useful_a in_o all_o the_o four_o state_n and_o degree_n of_o prayer_n it_o be_v a_o most_o secure_a and_o safe_a mean_n to_o go_v profit_v in_o the_o first_o degree_n and_o that_o we_o shall_v get_v quick_o to_o the_o second_o and_o then_o to_o be_v free_a also_o in_o the_o two_o last_o from_o those_o danger_n which_o the_o devil_n may_v provide_v for_o us._n for_o this_o in_o fine_a be_v that_o which_o we_o may_v be_v able_a to_o do_v and_o for_o any_o body_n to_o passe-up_a from_o hence_o and_o to_o exalt_v his_o spirit_n towards_o the_o feel_n of_o certain_a gust_n which_o be_v not_o allow_v he_o be_v but_o in_o my_o opinion_n to_o loose_v both_o the_o one_o and_o the_o other_o because_o in_o fine_a that_o be_v all_o supernatural_a and_o so_o the_o understanding_n be_v at_o a_o stand_v and_o lose_v the_o soul_n remain_v all_o desolate_a and_o with_o great_a dryness_n and_o since_o this_o whole_a building_n be_v ground_v upon_o humility_n the_o near_o we_o grow_v to_o almighty_a god_n the_o more_o shall_v we_o proceed_v and_o profit_n in_o this_o virtue_n and_o if_o we_o do_v not_o this_o all_o be_v lose_v and_o it_o seem_v to_o be_v no_o better_o than_o a_o kind_n of_o pride_n if_o we_o desire_v to_o get-up_a to_o a_o high_a rank_n since_o god_n do_v we_o but_o too_o much_o honour_n and_o favour_n consider_v how_o unworthy_a we_o be_v in_o suffer_v we_o to_o be_v so_o near_o to_o himself_o but_o now_o it_o must_v not_o be_v so_o understand_v as_o if_o i_o speak_v all_o this_o against_o raising-up_a our_o thought_n to_o consider_v the_o high_a thing_n of_o heaven_n or_o of_o god_n or_o of_o the_o greatness_n which_o be_v there_o above_o as_o also_o of_o his_o incomparable_a wisdom_n for_o though_o i_o never_o do_v this_o because_o i_o have_v no_o ability_n for_o this_o purpose_n as_o i_o have_v say_v and_o i_o find_v myself_o so_o miserable_a and_o so_o mean_a that_o god_n do_v i_o particular_a favour_n to_o enable_v i_o to_o think_v of_o earthly_a thing_n by_o mean_n whereof_o i_o may_v come_v afterward_o to_o understand_v this_o truth_n for_o even_o this_o be_v no_o small_a adventure_n for_o i_o and_o how_o much_o more_o be_v it_o so_o to_o consider_v celestial_a thing_n yet_o other_o may_v take_v benefit_n hereby_o and_o especial_o if_o they_o have_v learning_n and_o knowledge_n which_o be_v in_o my_o opinion_n a_o great_a treasure_n towards_o this_o exercise_n of_o prayer_n if_o it_o be_v accompany_v with_o humility_n i_o have_v see_v the_o truth_n of_o this_o very_o late_o by_o occasion_n of_o some_o learned_a man_n who_o begin_v not_o long_o ago_o and_o yet_o have_v proceed_v and_o profit_v very_o much_o which_o make_v i_o have_v a_o earnest_n and_o even_o a_o kind_n of_o impatient_a desire_n that_o many_o such_o as_o be_v learned_a will_v grow_v to_o be_v very_o spiritual_a man_n whereof_o i_o shall_v give_v the_o reason_n hereafter_o but_o now_o that_o which_o i_o have_v say_v namely_o that_o man_n must_v not_o exalt_v themselves_o to_o rise_v high_o than_o god_n do_v raise_v they_o be_v a_o certain_a kind_n of_o language_n of_o spirit_n and_o he_o will_v understand_v i_o who_o have_v experience_n of_o it_o but_o as_o for_o i_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o express_v it_o if_o he_o know_v not_o how_o to_o understand_v i_o by_o what_o i_o have_v say_v in_o mystical_a theology_n whereof_o i_o begin_v to_o speak_v the_o understanding_n cease_v from_o work_v because_o almighty_a god_n themselves_o suspend_v it_o as_o i_o will_v declare_v hereafter_o if_o i_o be_v able_a and_o if_o he_o give_v i_o grace_n for_o that_o purpose_n but_o as_o for_o we_o to_o presume_v yea_o or_o so_o much_o as_o to_o think_v of_o suspend_v it_o be_v that_o which_o i_o be_o say_v we_o shall_v not_o do_v nor_o must_v we_o leave_v to_o act_v and_o work_v thereby_o and_o therewith_o for_o if_o we_o do_v we_o shall_v be_v stupid_a and_o sottish_a and_o cold_a and_o we_o shall_v effect_v neither_o the_o one_o nor_o the_o other_o but_o when_o our_o lord_n suspend_v and_o stopp_n it_o he_o furnish_v it_o with_o matter_n upon_o which_o the_o party_n may_v employ_v himself_o and_o at_o which_o he_o may_v be_v amaze_v and_o he_o make_v he_o understand_v more_o in_o the_o time_n and_o space_n of_o say_v one_o
this_o end_n some_o little_a poor_a good_a work_n which_o i_o do_v if_o i_o do_v any_o i_o become_v devote_a to_o some_o saint_n to_o the_o end_n that_o by_o their_o mean_n i_o may_v be_v deliver_v from_o the_o devil_n i_o perform_v the_o devotion_n of_o nine_o day_n i_o recommend_v myself_o to_o saint_n hilarion_n and_o to_o s._n michael_n also_o the_o archangel_n for_o i_o have_v late_o apply_v myself_o to_o he_o for_o this_o purpose_n and_o i_o importune_v also_o mame_v other_o saint_n that_o our_o lord_n may_v be_v please_v by_o their_o intercession_n to_o conduct_v i_o in_o the_o way_n of_o truth_n i_o say_v that_o they_o will_v find_v some_o mean_n to_o perfect_v this_o business_n of_o i_o with_o his_o divine_a majesty_n in_o fine_a after_o the_o end_n of_o two_o year_n which_o both_o i_o and_o other_o person_n have_v whole_o employ_v with_o all_o their_o prayer_n and_o i_o in_o order_n to_o this_o end_n that_o our_o lord_n may_v be_v please_v either_o to_o conduct_v my_o soul_n by_o some_o other_o way_n or_o else_o vouchsafe_v to_o declare_v that_o this_o way_n wherein_o i_o go_v be_v right_a for_o now_o those_o word_n and_o speech_n which_o i_o have_v relate_v that_o our_o lord_n will_v be_v utter_v to_o i_o sometime_o be_v grow_v very_o ordinary_a &_o even_o continual_a that_o chance_v and_o occur_v to_o i_o which_o i_o will_v now_o declare_v as_o i_o be_v in_o prayer_n one_o day_n and_o it_o be_v upon_o the_o festivitie_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n peter_n i_o see_v stand_v very_o near_o i_o or_o rather_o to_o say_v better_o i_o think_v i_o feel_v for_o indeed_o i_o see_v nothing_o at_o all_o with_o the_o eye_n either_o of_o my_o body_n or_o of_o my_o mind_n that_o christ_n our_o lord_n be_v close_o by_o i_o and_o i_o find_v in_o fine_a that_o it_o be_v he_o in_o my_o opinion_n who_o be_v speak_v to_o i_o but_o now_o i_o who_o be_v extreme_o ignorant_a till_o then_o that_o there_o may_v be_v any_o such_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n as_o such_o a_o vision_n fall_v at_o the_o first_o into_o a_o mighty_a fear_n and_o i_o can_v do_v nothing_o but_o weep_v though_o yet_o through_o his_o give_v i_o assurance_n by_o his_o speak_v but_o one_o only_o word_n i_o find_v myself_o as_o i_o have_v former_o be_v not_o only_o without_o fear_n and_o very_o quiet_a but_o even_o with_o regalo_n and_o delight_n i_o thought_n that_o christ_n jesus_n our_o lord_n go_v ever_o close_o to_o i_o on_o one_o side_n but_o the_o vision_n not_o be_v imaginary_a or_o represent_v in_o any_o form_n i_o perceive_v not_o in_o what_o shape_n he_o be_v but_o as_o for_o his_o be_v ever_o on_o my_o right_a side_n i_o find_v and_o feel_v that_o very_o clear_o and_o that_o he_o be_v the_o witness_n of_o whatsoever_o i_o do_v and_o that_o i_o can_v not_o be_v recollect_v though_o it_o be_v never_o so_o little_a or_o rather_o indeed_o unless_o i_o be_v much_o divert_v or_o distract_v but_o i_o must_v needs_o in_o fine_a understand_v that_o he_o be_v very_o near_o i_o i_o than_o go_v immediate_o to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n be_v sufficient_o vex_v and_o grieved_a that_o i_o must_v let_v he_o know_v it_o he_o ask_v i_o what_o form_n or_o figure_n he_o have_v when_o i_o see_v he_o and_o i_o tell_v he_o that_o i_o have_v not_o see_v he_o upon_o this_o he_o inquire_v then_o how_o i_o know_v that_o it_o be_v christ_n our_o lord_n to_o this_o i_o answer_v that_o i_o know_v no_o more_o but_o that_o i_o can_v not_o possible_o fail_v or_o forbear_v to_o understand_v and_o know_v that_o he_o be_v close_o to_o i_o and_o that_o i_o find_v and_o feel_v it_o plain_o and_o that_o now_o the_o recollection_n of_o my_o soul_n in_o prayer_n of_o quiet_a be_v far_o great_a and_o more_o continual_a &_o that_o the_o effect_n be_v very_o different_a from_o those_o other_o which_o i_o have_v former_o find_v and_o that_o the_o thing_n be_v very_o certain_a and_o clear_a for_o my_o part_n i_o can_v do_v no_o more_o but_o bring_v diverse_a comparison_n whereby_o to_o give_v myself_o to_o be_v understand_v but_o yet_o certain_o in_o my_o opinion_n there_o be_v none_o which_o can_v suit_n very_o well_o to_o express_v this_o kind_n of_o vision_n for_o as_o this_o be_v one_o of_o the_o high_a kind_n as_o i_o be_v tell_v afterward_o by_o a_o certain_a holy_a man_n and_o of_o great_a spirit_n call_v fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n who_o i_o shall_v mention_v afterward_o more_o at_o large_a and_o the_o same_o have_v be_v also_o tell_v i_o by_o other_o great_a learned_a man_n and_o that_o this_o be_v one_o of_o those_o favour_n where_o the_o devil_n can_v least_o intermeddle_v or_o intrude_v himself_o of_o all_o other_o so_o have_v we_o hear_v no_o word_n or_o term_n at_o all_o wherewith_o to_o declare_v it_o at_o least_o we_o who_o know_v so_o little_a though_o such_o as_o be_v learned_a will_n peradventure_o be_v able_a to_o do_v it_o better_o for_o when_o i_o say_v that_o i_o neither_o see_v this_o with_o the_o eye_n of_o the_o body_n nor_o of_o the_o mind_n because_o it_o be_v no_o imaginary_a vision_n how_o come_v i_o to_o understand_v and_o how_o can_v i_o undertake_v and_o affirm_v more_o clear_o &_o certain_o that_o christ_n our_o lord_n be_v stand_v near_o i_o then_o if_o i_o have_v see_v he_o with_o my_o very_a eye_n for_o it_o seem_v indeed_o to_o be_v as_o if_o a_o person_n be_v in_o the_o dark_a who_o see_v not_o another_o that_o stand_v by_o he_o or_o as_o if_o the_o same_o person_n be_v blind_a some_o resemblance_n i_o say_v this_o carry_v though_o yet_o not_o very_o much_o for_o in_o this_o last_o case_n a_o man_n may_v come_v to_o know_v it_o by_o the_o way_n of_o several_a sense_n because_o he_o may_v hear_v the_o other_o speak_v or_o stir_v or_o he_o may_v touch_v he_o but_o here_o there_o be_v nothing_o of_o all_o this_o nor_o be_v there_o here_o any_o darkness_n at_o all_o but_o only_o the_o thing_n be_v represent_v to_o the_o soul_n by_o a_o certain_a notice_n which_o be_v more_o clear_a than_o the_o sun_n i_o say_v not_o that_o any_o sun_n be_v see_v nor_o any_o clearness_n or_o brightness_n at_o all_o but_o only_o a_o certain_a light_n which_o illuminate_v and_o inform_v the_o understanding_n though_o yet_o without_o see_v any_o light_n to_o the_o end_n that_o the_o soul_n may_v enjoy_v so_o high_a a_o good_a now_o this_o bring_v great_a benefit_n with_o it_o yet_o be_v it_o not_o like_o such_o a_o presence_n of_o god_n as_o many_o time_n be_v feel_v in_o the_o mind_n and_o especial_o by_o such_o person_n as_o be_v arrive_v to_o union_n and_o quiet_a prayer_n who_o in_o resolve_v to_o begin_v to_o make_v that_o prayer_n seem_v to_o find_v the_o person_n ready_a at_o hand_n to_o who_o to_o speak_v and_o we_o seem_v to_o understand_v that_o he_o hear_v we_o by_o the_o effect_n and_o spiritual_a feeling_n which_o we_o find_v of_o great_a love_n and_o faith_n and_o other_o firm_a purpose_n and_o resolution_n accompany_v with_o much_o tenderness_n of_o denotion_n this_o be_v a_o great_a favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o let_v he_o esteem_v it_o much_o who_o have_v it_o for_o it_o be_v a_o very_a elevate_v and_o high_a prayer_n but_o yet_o it_o be_v no_o vision_n but_o here_o it_o be_v understand_v that_o almighty_a god_n be_v there_o by_o the_o effect_n which_o as_o i_o have_v say_v he_o work_v in_o the_o soul_n for_o in_o this_o manner_n of_o prayer_n do_v his_o divine_a majesty_n vouchsafe_v to_o give_v hemself_n then_o and_o there_o to_o be_v feel_v but_o now_o here_o it_o be_v clear_o find_v that_o christ_n jesus_n the_o son_n of_o the_o virgin_n be_v present_a in_o that_o other_o manner_n of_o prayer_n there_o be_v certain_a influence_n of_o the_o divinity_n represent_v but_o here_o together_o with_o they_o we_o find_v that_o the_o most_o sacred_a humanity_n also_o of_o christ_n our_o lord_n do_v accompany_v we_o to_o do_v we_o favour_n my_o ghostly_a father_n than_o ask_v i_o this_o question_n who_o tell_v you_o that_o it_o be_v jesus_n christ_n himself_o tell_v i_o so_o answer_v i_o and_o that_o many_o time_n but_o yet_o even_o before_o he_o tell_v i_o so_o it_o be_v he_o print_v upon_o my_o understanding_n that_o it_o be_v he_o yea_o and_o even_o before_o this_o he_o tell_v i_o so_o and_o yet_o still_o i_o see_v he_o not_o if_o any_o man_n who_o i_o have_v never_o see_v but_o only_o have_v hear_v news_n of_o he_o shall_v come_v to_o speak_v with_o i_o i_o be_v either_o blind_a or_o in_o the_o dark_a and_o shall_v tell_v i_o who_o he_o be_v i_o shall_v believe_v he_o and_o yet_o i_o can_v not_o so_o
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how_o long_o o_o you_o son_n of_o man_n will_v you_o continue_v to_o be_v hard_o of_o hart_n and_o he_o also_o will_v i_o then_o to_o examine_v myself_o well_o upon_o this_o one_o interrogatory_n whether_o i_o be_v entire_o give_v to_o he_o for_o his_o or_o no_o and_o that_o if_o i_o be_v give_v so_o and_o be_v so_o i_o shall_v believe_v that_o he_o will_v not_o suffer_v i_o to_o be_v lose_v and_o whereas_o i_o afflict_v myself_o much_o upon_o his_o utter_v that_o exclamation_n aforesaid_a he_o return_v with_o great_a tenderness_n and_o regalo_n and_o tell_v i_o that_o he_o will_v not_o have_v i_o afflict_v myself_o and_o that_o he_o know_v already_o that_o i_o for_o my_o part_n will_v not_o fail_v to_o apply_v myself_o whole_o to_o that_o which_o may_v be_v for_o his_o service_n and_o that_o so_o he_o will_v also_o do_v all_o that_o which_o i_o desire_v of_o he_o against_o illusion_n and_o so_o he_o be_v please_v to_o do_v that_o thing_n in_o particular_a which_o then_o i_o humble_o 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one_o part_n of_o it_o about_o a_o year_n soon_o than_o the_o other_o for_o the_o enable_v he_o the_o better_a to_o direct_v she_o and_o she_o do_v it_o all_o while_o she_o be_v yet_o in_o the_o monastery_n of_o the_o incarnation_n where_o she_o be_v place_v first_o before_o she_o have_v settle_v she_o own_o order_n &_o way_n of_o life_n according_a to_o the_o primitive_a institution_n thereof_o though_o yet_o she_o have_v even_o then_o begin_v to_o serve_v our_o bless_a lord_n in_o great_a earnest_n and_o then_o also_o do_v his_o divine_a majesty_n rain_v down_o abundance_n of_o supernatural_a favour_n upon_o her_o happy_a soul_n as_o the_o same_o exact_a author_n declare_v but_o that_o judgement_n which_o he_o make_v upon_o she_o i_o will_v here_o deliver_v to_o you_o since_o it_o be_v so_o very_o short_a and_o withal_o so_o very_o high_o significant_a for_o thus_o he_o say_v by_o this_o you_o may_v discern_v to_o how_o great_a perfection_n this_o happy_a soul_n arrive_v in_o so_o 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our_o lord_n himself_o bear_v their_o charge_n since_o for_o the_o little_a pain_n they_o take_v he_o give_v they_o so_o much_o gust_n that_o so_o they_o may_v the_o better_o be_v able_a to_o endure_v the_o take_n of_o that_o pain_n in_o his_o company_n of_o these_o gust_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v to_o such_o as_o persevere_v in_o the_o exercise_n of_o mental_a prayer_n there_o shall_v be_v more_o discourse_n hereafter_o and_o i_o will_v not_o make_v it_o here_o only_o this_o i_o will_v be_v bold_a to_o say_v that_o of_o all_o those_o so_o great_a favour_n which_o it_o ever_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o do_v i_o the_o very_a gate_n be_v prayer_n and_o if_o that_o come_v once_o to_o be_v shut_v i_o know_v not_o how_o god_n shall_v do_v we_o favour_n for_o though_o he_o shall_v have_v a_o mind_n to_o enter_v into_o a_o soul_n to_o regale_n both_o it_o and_o himself_o in_o it_o there_o be_v no_o mean_n by_o which_o to_o do_v it_o since_o he_o must_v have_v it_o all_o to_o himself_o and_o it_o must_v be_v clean_o and_o pure_a and_o it_o must_v also_o have_v a_o great_a desire_n to_o receive_v favour_n and_o if_o ourselves_o on_o the_o other_o side_n bring_v many_o impediment_n and_o take_v no_o course_n to_o remove_v they_o how_o shall_v we_o ever_o think_v he_o can_v come_v to_o we_o and_o how_o can_v we_o conceive_v that_o he_o will_v help_v we_o now_o to_o the_o end_n that_o his_o mercy_n may_v be_v see_v and_o the_o great_a benefit_n which_o it_o be_v for_o i_o not_o to_o have_v give_v over_o my_o pray_v and_o read_v i_o will_v here_o declare_v since_o the_o understanding_n of_o it_o import_v so_o much_o what_o battery_n the_o devil_n raise_v against_o a_o soul_n to_o gain_v it_o and_o what_o diligence_n and_o as_o it_o be_v art_n and_o mercy_n be_v use_v by_o b._n lord_n for_o procure_v to_o reduce_v it_o to_o himself_o that_o so_o other_o may_v preserve_v themselves_o from_o those_o danger_n from_o which_o i_o keep_v not_o myself_o and_o 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very_o ill_o as_o yet_o i_o be_v apt_a to_o find_v it_o a_o certain_a person_n tell_v i_o when_o i_o go_v to_o he_o once_o with_o a_o scruple_n that_o error_n although_o i_o be_v in_o state_n of_o use_v high_a contemplation_n yet_o such_o occasion_n and_o conversation_n be_v of_o no_o inconvenience_n to_o i_o this_o happen_v to_o i_o towards_o the_o latter_a end_n when_o i_o by_o the_o favour_n of_o god_n go_v separate_v myself_o more_o and_o more_o from_o great_a danger_n but_o yet_o i_o do_v not_o whole_o avoid_v occasion_n but_o now_o when_o they_o observe_v my_o good_a desire_n and_o my_o exercise_n of_o mental_a prayer_n they_o think_v i_o do_v great_a matter_n but_o as_o for_o i_o my_o soul_n understand_v well_o enough_o that_o it_o be_v not_o so_o much_o as_o to_o perform_v what_o i_o be_v oblige_v for_o one_o to_o who_o i_o owe_v so_o much_o i_o have_v now_o both_o pity_n and_o grief_n to_o consider_v how_o much_o my_o soul_n suffer_v at_o that_o time_n and_o the_o little_a help_n it_o get_v from_o any_o but_o almighty_a god_n beside_o the_o great_a facility_n and_o owerture_n which_o they_o make_v for_o i_o towards_o certain_a pastime_n and_o contentment_n by_o make_v i_o believe_v that_o they_o be_v lawful_a but_o now_o the_o torment_n also_o which_o i_o have_v by_o hear_v sermon_n be_v not_o little_a for_o i_o have_v a_o great_a affection_n to_o hear_v they_o in_o such_o sort_n that_o if_o i_o see_v any_o man_n preach_v with_o spirit_n &_o very_o well_o i_o carry_v a_o most_o particular_a affection_n to_o he_o and_o that_o without_o any_o endeavour_n of_o i_o nor_o do_v i_o know_v how_o i_o come_v to_o have_v it_o i_o thought_n no_o sermon_n seem_v so_o ill_o to_o i_o which_o i_o can_v not_o glad_o hear_v though_o other_o will_v be_v of_o opinion_n that_o he_o preach_v not_o well_o but_o then_o if_o the_o sermon_n be_v good_a it_o give_v i_o a_o very_a particular_a satisfaction_n to_o speak_v of_o god_n or_o hear_v he_o speak_v of_o do_v in_o effect_n never_o weary_v i_o i_o mean_v after_o i_o have_v once_o begin_v to_o use_v mental_a prayer_n yet_o on_o the_o one_o side_n i_o be_v much_o comfort_v with_o hear_v sermon_n but_o on_o the_o other_o side_n they_o torment_v i_o because_o i_o understand_v thereby_o that_o i_o be_v not_o by_o many_o degree_n any_o such_o creature_n as_o i_o ought_v to_o have_v be_v i_o humble_o beg_v of_o our_o b._n lord_n that_o he_o will_v help_v i_o but_o i_o believe_v by_o what_o i_o can_v now_o conjecture_v that_o i_o be_v want_v in_o the_o point_n of_o place_v all_o my_o confidence_n in_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o importance_n total_o disconfide_v in_o myself_o i_o seek_v for_o remedy_n and_o i_o use_v many_o diligence_n but_o i_o understand_v not_o that_o all_o be_v good_a for_o nothing_o unless_o first_o we_o strip_v ourselves_o entire_o of_o all_o confidence_n in_o ourselves_o and_o lodge_v it_o all_o upon_o almighty_a god_n i_o desire_v to_o live_v a_o true_a life_n for_o than_o i_o understand_v well_o enough_o that_o indeed_o i_o do_v not_o live_v but_o that_o i_o fight_v with_o the_o very_a shadow_n of_o death_n but_o there_o be_v no_o body_n who_o will_v give_v i_o life_n and_o as_o for_o i_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o take_v it_o and_o he_o who_o be_v only_o able_a to_o give_v it_o have_v no_o reason_n to_o bring_v i_o succour_v since_o he_o have_v draw_v i_o to_o himself_o so_o very_o often_o i_o have_v yet_o forsake_v he_o the_o nine_o chapter_n she_o declare_v by_o what_o mean_v our_o lord_n begin_v to_o awake_a her_o soul_n and_o give_v her_o light_n in_o so_o great_a darkness_n and_o to_o strengthen_v also_o her_o virtue_n that_o so_o she_o may_v offend_v he_o no_o more_o but_o now_o my_o soul_n be_v already_o grow_v to_o be_v very_o weary_a and_o yet_o the_o ill_a habit_n which_o i_o have_v make_v &_o the_o ill_a custom_n which_o i_o have_v use_v will_v not_o permit_v she_o to_o be_v unwearied_a and_o take_v rest_n it_o happen_v to_o i_o one_o day_n upon_o my_o go_v into_o the_o oratory_n that_o i_o see_v a_o picture_n which_o have_v be_v bring_v in_o thither_o to_o be_v keep_v for_o they_o have_v borrow_v it_o to_o serve_v for_o a_o certain_a festivitie_n which_o be_v to_o be_v celebrate_v in_o the_o house_n about_o that_o time_n the_o picture_n be_v of_o christ_n our_o lord_n full_a of_o wound_n &_o sore_n and_o it_o be_v so_o devout_o make_v that_o when_o i_o look_v upon_o it_o it_o move_v i_o much_o for_o it_o represent_v very_o well_o what_o he_o have_v endure_v for_o us._n and_o the_o sense_n of_o the_o little_a gratitude_n to_o our_o lord_n which_o i_o have_v conceive_v and_o express_v for_o those_o wound_n of_o he_o be_v such_o that_o i_o think_v my_o very_a hart_n do_v even_o splitt_v and_o i_o cast_v myself_o earnest_o down_o near_o the_o picture_n with_o a_o great_a shower_n of_o tear_n beseech_v our_o lord_n humble_o and_o earnest_o that_o he_o will_v strengthen_v i_o so_o far_o once_o for_o all_o as_o that_o at_o length_n i_o may_v offend_v he_o no_o more_o i_o be_v beside_o very_o much_o devote_a to_o the_o glorious_a s._n marie_n magdalen_n and_o i_o think_v much_o and_o often_o of_o her_o conversion_n and_o especial_o whensoever_o i_o receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n for_o know_v at_o that_o time_n that_o our_o lord_n be_v most_o certain_o in_o my_o very_a bosom_n i_o place_v myself_o at_o his_o foot_n as_o conceave_a that_o my_o tear_n will_v not_o be_v despise_v by_o he_o i_o know_v not_o very_o well_o what_o i_o say_v but_o yet_o i_o know_v that_o he_o who_o be_v please_v
a_o firm_a foundation_n so_o that_o the_o true_a love_n of_o god_n consist_v not_o in_o have_v tear_n or_o tenderness_n or_o spiritual_a gust_n which_o we_o be_v wont_n for_o the_o most_o part_n to_o desire_v and_o to_o take_v comfort_n in_o but_o to_o serve_v his_o divine_a majesty_n with_o word_n justice_n and_o fortitude_n and_o humility_n for_o in_o that_o other_o course_n i_o think_v we_o be_v rather_o on_o the_o take_a hand_n then_o on_o the_o give_n any_o thing_n of_o our_o own_o as_o for_o poor_a weak_a silly_a woman_n and_o who_o be_v of_o little_a courage_n like_v i_o i_o think_v i_o can_v find_v it_o fit_a that_o our_o lord_n shall_v carry_v they_o on_o with_o regalo_n that_o so_o they_o may_v be_v the_o better_o induce_v to_o suffer_v those_o affliction_n which_o it_o have_v please_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o they_o shall_v bear_v but_o for_o the_o true_a servant_n of_o god_n man_n of_o substance_n and_o solid_a way_n man_n of_o learning_n and_o understanding_n to_o make_v so_o much_o reflection_n upon_o god_n be_v not_o give_v they_o tenderness_n of_o devotion_n as_o i_o see_v they_o do_v i_o confess_v it_o give_v i_o disgust_v even_o to_o hear_v it_o i_o say_v not_o but_o that_o they_o shall_v receive_v these_o spiritual_a delight_n when_o god_n give_v they_o yea_o and_o that_o they_o shall_v esteem_v they_o very_o much_o because_o in_o that_o case_n his_o divine_a majesty_n will_v have_v see_v that_o they_o be_v convenient_a for_o they_o but_o only_o that_o when_o they_o have_v they_o not_o they_o shall_v not_o vex_v themselves_o and_o that_o they_o shall_v also_o understand_v that_o when_o god_n give_v they_o not_o they_o be_v not_o convenient_a for_o they_o but_o that_o they_o ought_v to_o be_v and_o remain_v the_o lord_n of_o themselves_o in_o all_o thing_n let_v they_o believe_v that_o this_o be_v a_o defect_n and_o fault_n in_o they_o for_o i_o have_v see_v and_o try_v it_o let_v they_o believe_v that_o this_o be_v a_o imperfection_n and_o that_o it_o be_v not_o to_o walk_v on_o with_o liberty_n of_o spirit_n but_o rather_o like_o weak_a and_o cowardly_a people_n who_o dare_v not_o set_v upon_o difficulty_n and_o i_o say_v not_o this_o so_o much_o for_o they_o who_o be_v but_o beginner_n though_o yet_o i_o press_v it_o so_o far_o because_o it_o import_v very_o much_o that_o they_o begin_v with_o this_o liberty_n of_o spirit_n and_o resolution_n but_o even_o for_o other_o also_o for_o there_o be_v many_o who_o have_v already_o begin_v and_o yet_o who_o never_o in_o fine_a resolve_v upon_o do_v herein_o home_n what_o they_o ought_v and_o i_o believe_v that_o this_o proceed_v in_o great_a part_n from_o their_o not_o resolve_v to_o take_v up_o and_o carry_v this_o cross_n from_o the_o very_a beginning_n for_o such_o shall_v go_v on_o still_o afflict_v as_o conceave_a that_o all_o that_o be_v nothing_o which_o they_o do_v because_o when_o the_o understanding_n gives-ove_a to_o work_v and_o act_n they_o use_v not_o to_o be_v 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by_o serve_v god_n for_o one_o hour_n it_o may_v now_o be_v so_o for_o four_o and_o many_o time_n for_o i_o have_v very_o great_a experience_n of_o this_o case_n and_o know_v it_o to_o be_v true_a because_o i_o have_v both_o consider_v it_o with_o care_n and_o have_v also_o treat_v about_o it_o with_o spiritual_a person_n this_o grow_v even_o from_o our_o corporal_a indisposition_n for_o we_o be_v so_o very_o total_o infirm_a that_o this_o poor_a little_a wretched_a soul_n of_o we_o participate_v in_o the_o misery_n of_o the_o body_n and_o even_o the_o alteration_n of_o the_o weather_n and_o the_o revolution_n of_o their_o own_o natural_a humour_n be_v many_o time_n the_o occasion_n why_o without_o even_o any_o fault_n of_o their_o own_o they_o can_v well_o do_v even_o what_o they_o will_v but_o be_v fain_o to_o suffer_v thus_o in_o all_o kind_n and_o when_o they_o strive_v to_o force_v themselves_o in_o these_o coniuncture_n of_o time_n it_o prove_v to_o be_v so_o much_o the_o worse_o with_o they_o and_o the_o inconvenience_n will_v last_v so_o much_o the_o long_o but_o discretion_n must_v be_v use_v herein_o to_o weigh_v when_o this_o effect_n proceed_v from_o this_o cause_n and_o they_o must_v not_o oppress_v and_o stifle_v this_o poor_a soul_n but_o understand_v and_o consider_v that_o it_o be_v sick_a let_v the_o hour_n of_o prayer_n in_o god_n name_n be_v change_v yea_o and_o many_o time_n it_o will_v be_v fit_a to_o do_v so_o for_o some_o day_n and_o let_v they_o pass_v through_o this_o bannishment_n of_o they_o as_o well_o as_o they_o can_v since_o it_o be_v misfortune_n and_o misery_n enough_o for_o a_o soul_n which_o do_v indeed_o love_v almighty_a god_n to_o see_v that_o she_o live_v in_o so_o great_a misery_n and_o that_o she_o be_v no_o way_n able_a to_o do_v even_o what_o herself_o desire_v in_o regard_n that_o she_o be_v lodge_v with_o so_o untoward_a and_o ill_o a_o host_n as_o this_o body_n be_v i_o say_v this_o be_v to_o be_v do_v with_o 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they_o pretend_v to_o gain_v liberty_n of_o spirit_n but_o let_v he_o once_o begin_v not_o to_o be_v in_o such_o a_o fright_n upon_o the_o sight_n of_o the_o cross_n and_o he_o shall_v see_v how_o our_o bless_a lord_n will_v help_v he_o to_o bear_v it_o and_o what_o contentment_n he_o will_v grow_v to_o have_v and_o how_o he_o will_v be_v able_a to_o make_v his_o profit_n of_o all_o thing_n for_o already_o we_o may_v sufficient_o perceive_v that_o if_o there_o be_v no_o spring_n of_o water_n in_o the_o well_o we_o know_v not_o how_o to_o put_v any_o there_o true_a it_o be_v that_o we_o must_v by_o no_o mean_n be_v negligent_a and_o careless_a but_o endeavour_v to_o draw_v it_o out_o if_o there_o be_v
credo_fw-la though_o yet_o still_o not_o by_o way_n of_o discourse_n than_o we_o can_v tell_v how_o to_o understand_v with_o all_o our_o humane_a diligence_n of_o this_o world_n in_o the_o compass_n of_o many_o year_n but_o now_o to_o exercise_v and_o employ_v the_o power_n of_o the_o mind_n and_o yet_o the_o while_n to_o think_v of_o make_v they_o stand_v at_o a_o stay_n be_v a_o senseless_a kind_n of_o fancy_n and_o foolery_n and_o i_o say_v and_o say_v again_o though_o perhaps_o it_o be_v not_o well_o understand_v that_o this_o be_v no_o act_n of_o any_o great_a humility_n and_o though_o it_o shall_v not_o be_v guilty_a of_o be_v a_o fault_n yet_o it_o will_v not_o fail_v to_o be_v subject_a to_o the_o punishment_n for_o at_o least_o it_o will_v be_v all_o labour_n lose_v and_o the_o soul_n find_v itself_o to_o remain_v with_o a_o odd_a little_a kind_n of_o disgust_n as_o when_o a_o man_n go_v to_o leap_v when_o yet_o man_n hold_v he_o fast_o by_o the_o back_n for_o such_o a_o one_o seem_v already_o to_o have_v employ_v all_o his_o strength_n to_o do_v somewhat_o which_o he_o desire_v and_o yet_o find_v himself_o without_o effect_v what_o he_o pretend_v and_o so_o whosoever_o will_v consider_v the_o matter_n well_o shall_v come_v to_o discern_v by_o the_o slender_a gain_n which_o he_o make_v this_o little_a half_a invisible_a dust_n of_o the_o want_n of_o humility_n whereof_o i_o speak_v for_o in_o fine_a this_o virtue_n have_v that_o excellency_n among_o other_o in_o it_o that_o there_o be_v no_o work_n or_o action_n in_o the_o world_n if_o it_o be_v accompany_v with_o that_o virtue_n which_o will_v ever_o leave_v the_o soul_n in_o disgust_n there_o be_v diverse_a truth_n year_n when_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o read_v many_o thing_n and_o yet_o understand_v none_o of_o they_o all_o and_o there_o be_v afterward_o also_o a_o long_a time_n when_o though_o god_n give_v i_o ability_n to_o understand_v yet_o can_v i_o not_o speak_v a_o word_n wherewith_o to_o make_v it_o be_v understand_v by_o other_o and_o this_o point_n cost_v i_o no_o small_a labour_n but_o when_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o teach_v it_o he_o do_v it_o so_o &_o all_o at_o a_o instant_n that_o i_o be_o amaze_v and_o one_o thing_n i_o can_v say_v with_o much_o truth_n that_o though_o i_o speak_v with_o many_o spiritual_a person_n who_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o make_v i_o understand_v what_o our_o lord_n impart_v to_o i_o that_o so_o i_o may_v the_o better_o declare_v thing_n in_o particular_a and_o clear_a manner_n to_o they_o it_o be_v certain_a that_o my_o dulness_n be_v so_o great_a as_o that_o their_o discourse_n be_v not_o of_o any_o use_n to_o i_o at_o all_o and_o perhaps_o our_o bless_a lord_n as_o his_o divine_a majesty_n vouchsafe_v still_o to_o be_v my_o master_n &_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o since_o it_o be_v confusion_n enough_o for_o i_o to_o be_v able_a to_o say_v thus_o much_o with_o truth_n be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v have_v no_o body_n to_o thank_v for_o it_o but_o himself_o and_o that_o without_o my_o desire_v or_o even_o wish_v it_o for_o in_o this_o i_o be_v not_o a_o whitt_n curious_a wherein_o it_o may_v have_v be_v a_o virtue_n to_o be_v so_o but_o i_o be_v so_o about_o the_o vanity_n of_o the_o world_n he_o will_v give_v i_o to_o understand_v and_o comprehend_v it_o with_o all_o claritie_n yea_o and_o so_o as_o that_o i_o can_v unfold_v it_o also_o to_o other_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o man_n be_v amaze_v at_o it_o and_o myself_o more_o than_o any_o of_o my_o ghostly_a father_n because_o i_o understand_v i_o own_o dulness_n better_a than_o they_o nor_o be_v it_o any_o long_a time_n since_o this_o happen_v to_o i_o and_o so_o i_o procure_v not_o to_o know_v those_o thing_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v not_o teach_v i_o but_o i_o only_o consider_v and_o take_v care_n of_o they_o so_o far_o as_o whereby_o my_o conscience_n may_v be_v concern_v i_o return_v yet_o once_o again_o to_o advise_v and_o declare_v that_o it_o will_v import_v we_o very_o much_o not_o to_o error_n elevate_v and_o raise_v our_o spirit_n unless_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o elevate_v and_o raise_v it_o which_o if_o he_o do_v it_o will_v instant_o be_v understand_v and_o especial_o this_o be_v more_o dangerous_a for_o woman_n for_o the_o devil_n may_v bring_v some_o illusion_n upon_o they_o though_o yet_o withal_o i_o hold_v it_o for_o very_o certain_a that_o our_o lord_n will_v not_o permit_v that_o the_o devil_n shall_v be_v able_a to_o hurt_v any_o such_o person_n as_o shall_v procure_v to_o approach_v his_o divine_a majesty_n with_o humility_n but_o rather_o that_o he_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o give_v himself_o more_o advantage_n and_o profit_n by_o that_o whereby_o the_o devil_n mean_v to_o destroy_v he_o but_o now_o in_o regard_n that_o this_o way_n of_o beginner_n in_o the_o exercise_n of_o mental_a prayer_n be_v more_o beat_v and_o because_o the_o admonition_n which_o i_o have_v give_v import_n much_o i_o have_v enlarge_v myself_o thus_o far_o though_o yet_o other_o will_v certain_o have_v write_v much_o better_a of_o it_o but_o thus_o much_o do_v i_o confess_v and_o i_o have_v express_v myself_o herein_o with_o abundance_n of_o confusion_n and_o shame_n though_o yet_o still_o not_o with_o so_o much_o as_o i_o ought_v to_o have_v have_v let_v our_o lord_n be_v ever_o bless_v for_o all_o since_o he_o permit_v and_o be_v please_v that_o so_o miserable_a a_o creature_n as_o i_o shall_v speak_v of_o thing_n belong_v to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o those_o thing_n such_o and_o so_o high_a the_o thirteen_o chapter_n she_o proceed_v in_o this_o first_o degree_n and_o state_n of_o prayer_n and_o give_v advice_n against_o some_o temptation_n which_o the_o devil_n be_v sometime_o wont_a to_o bring_v this_o discourse_n be_v very_o profitable_a i_o have_v think_v fit_a to_o speak_v here_o of_o certain_a temptation_n which_o i_o have_v find_v to_o be_v bring_v against_o some_o in_o their_o beginning_n to_o use_v mental_a prayer_n and_o some_o i_o have_v feel_v myself_o and_o i_o will_v also_o give_v some_o advice_n which_o i_o hold_v to_o be_v necessary_a herein_o let_v therefore_o a_o saint_n beginner_n procure_v to_o goeon_a with_o great_a alacrity_n and_o liberty_n of_o spirit_n for_o there_o be_v some_o who_o be_v apt_a to_o think_v that_o all_o their_o devotion_n be_v instant_o to_o vanish_v if_o they_o do_v never_o so_o little_a amiss_o therein_o it_o be_v true_a that_o it_o will_v be_v very_o fit_a to_o continue_v in_o a_o holy_a doubt_n and_o fear_v of_o themselves_o that_o so_o they_o may_v not_o be_v confident_a at_o all_o to_o put_v themselves_o into_o any_o occasion_n wherein_o our_o lord_n be_v wont_a to_o be_v offend_v for_o it_o will_v ever_o be_v very_o necessary_a to_o use_v this_o actual_a diligence_n till_o one_o be_v very_o entire_a in_o the_o possession_n of_o virtue_n and_o there_o be_v not_o many_o who_o may_v be_v so_o very_o confident_a of_o themselves_o as_o that_o in_o such_o occasion_n which_o have_v well_o conformity_n with_o their_o natural_a disposition_n and_o inclination_n they_o may_v be_v out_o of_o care_n and_o fear_n and_o in_o fine_a it_o will_v ever_o be_v fit_a that_o so_o long_o as_o we_o shall_v live_v in_o this_o world_n we_o consider_v our_o miserable_a nature_n though_o it_o be_v but_o even_o for_o the_o continual_a exercise_n of_o humility_n but_o there_o be_v many_o time_n when_o it_o be_v permit_v as_o i_o have_v say_v to_o be_v take_v recreation_n though_o it_o be_v but_o to_o enable_v we_o the_o better_a to_o return_v the_o more_o encourage_v and_o fortify_v towards_o the_o make_n of_o prayer_n in_o all_o thing_n it_o will_v ever_o be_v needful_a to_o use_v discretion_n and_o withal_o to_o have_v great_a confidence_n in_o god_n for_o it_o be_v by_o no_o mean_n fit_a to_o go_v lessen_v &_o diminish_v our_o desire_n but_o to_o believe_v of_o almighty_a god_n that_o if_o we_o will_v endeavour_v earnest_o by_o little_a and_o little_a we_o may_v by_o the_o favour_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n arrive_v though_o it_o be_v not_o present_o where_o many_o saint_n have_v arrive_v who_o if_o they_o have_v never_o resolve_v to_o aspire_v to_o perfection_n and_o have_v not_o also_o endeavour_v by_o little_a and_o little_a to_o acquire_v it_o will_v never_o have_v be_v able_a to_o obtain_v so_o high_a a_o state_n his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v a_o very_a great_a friend_n and_o favourer_n of_o hart_n courageous_a soul_n so_o that_o withal_o they_o proceed_v with_o humility_n &_o not_o with_o any_o confidence_n in_o themselves_o and_o i_o have_v yet_o never_o see_v any_o one_o of_o this_o kind_n who_o have_v
continue_v to_o remain_v in_o a_o very_a inferior_a degree_n in_o this_o way_n nor_o never_o also_o any_o one_o cowardly_a soul_n though_o yet_o withal_o it_o have_v the_o safeguard_n of_o humility_n which_o be_v able_a to_o make_v so_o much_o way_n in_o many_o year_n as_o i_o have_v find_v those_o other_o do_v in_o very_a few_o i_o be_o even_o amaze_v when_o i_o consider_v how_o much_o it_o work_v in_o this_o kind_n for_o one_o to_o animate_v himself_o towards_o the_o do_n of_o great_a thing_n though_o instant_o he_o may_v perhaps_o not_o have_v force_n where_o with_o to_o perform_v for_o the_o soul_n put_v herself_o to_o make_v a_o flight_n and_o arrive_v to_o be_v in_o a_o high_a place_n though_o yet_o like_o some_o young_a bird_n she_o be_v not_o so_o well_o feather_v yet_o and_o therefore_o as_o be_v weary_a she_o can_v but_o pause_v and_o hover_v in_o former_a time_n i_o often_o remember_v and_o consider_v what_o s._n paul_n affirm_v of_o himself_o namely_o that_o he_o can_v do_v all_o thing_n in_o god_n who_o comfort_v he_o for_o as_o for_o i_o i_o know_v well_o that_o i_o can_v do_v nothing_o of_o myself_o but_o that_o say_v of_o his_o do_v i_o very_o much_o good_a &_o so_o also_o do_v this_o other_o of_o s._n augustin_n give_v i_o o_o lord_n what_o thou_o command_v and_o then_o command_v i_o what_o thou_o will_v and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o think_v also_o many_o time_n that_o s._n peter_n have_v lose_v nothing_o by_o the_o bargain_n when_o he_o cast_v himself_o headlong_o into_o the_o sea_n though_o yet_o he_o be_v afraid_a afterward_o in_o a_o word_n these_o first_o strong_a purpose_n and_o resolution_n be_v a_o great_a matter_n though_o yet_o in_o this_o first_o degree_n and_o state_n it_o be_v fit_a that_o we_o go_v detain_v ourselves_o and_o hold_v ourselves_o fast_o tie_v to_o the_o discretion_n and_o dispose_v of_o a_o director_n but_o then_o we_o must_v procure_v that_o he_o may_v be_v such_o a_o one_o as_o will_v not_o teach_v we_o to_o leap_v heavy_o and_o dull_o like_o certain_a toad_n nor_o be_v content_a that_o our_o soul_n dispose_v themselves_o to_o hunt_v those_o little_a weak_a beast_n call_v lizard_n only_a humility_n must_v ever_o go_v before_o that_o so_o we_o may_v besure_n to_o understand_v that_o this_o strength_n do_v not_o grow_v from_o ourselves_o but_o here_o it_o will_v be_v necessary_a for_o we_o to_o know_v what_o kind_n of_o humility_n this_o of_o we_o must_v be_v and_o i_o be_o very_o apt_a to_o think_v that_o the_o devil_n do_v much_o hurt_n towards_o the_o make_n such_o as_o exercise_v prayer_n not_o to_o advance_v themselves_o very_o much_o in_o their_o way_n by_o cause_v they_o to_o mis-understand_v humility_n and_o by_o procure_v to_o make_v we_o believe_v that_o it_o be_v but_o a_o kind_n of_o pride_n to_o have_v heroical_a desire_n and_o to_o pretend_v to_o imitate_v saint_n and_o to_o desire_v to_o be_v martyr_n for_o upon_o this_o he_o tell_v we_o and_o make_v we_o think_v that_o the_o action_n of_o 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we_o upon_o what_o it_o be_v convenient_a for_o we_o to_o feed_v so_o that_o it_o import_v we_o very_o much_o that_o the_o spirit_n director_n be_v well_o advise_v &_o i_o mean_v also_o that_o he_o be_v of_o good_a understanding_n and_o experience_n and_o if_o with_o this_o he_o be_v also_o learned_a it_o will_v be_v of_o mighty_a importance_n but_o yet_o still_o when_o all_o these_o three_o part_n shall_v not_o chance_v to_o meet_v together_o in_o the_o same_o man_n the_o two_o former_a quality_n of_o these_o three_o will_v fall_v out_o to_o import_v more_o than_o the_o three_o because_o they_o may_v easy_o procure_v to_o consult_v with_o such_o as_o be_v learned_a whensoever_o they_o shall_v have_v need_n thereof_o
but_o as_o for_o beginner_n learned_a man_n if_o they_o possess_v not_o the_o use_n of_o prayer_n can_v be_v of_o little_a profit_n to_o they_o yet_o i_o say_v not_o that_o they_o shall_v not_o treat_v and_o confer_v with_o such_o man_n as_o be_v learned_a for_o as_o for_o have_v a_o spirit_n which_o shall_v not_o be_v first_o settle_v in_o a_o way_n of_o truth_n for_o my_o part_n i_o have_v rather_o have_v it_o without_o prayer_n for_o learning_n be_v a_o great_a matter_n since_o it_o instruct_v we_o who_o know_v little_a and_o bring_v we_o light_a and_o when_o we_o approach_v near_o to_o the_o truth_n of_o holy_a scripture_n we_o begin_v to_o do_v that_o which_o we_o ought_v but_o as_o for_o silly_a and_o foolish_a devotion_n our_o lord_n deliver_v we_o from_o they_o i_o will_v declare_v myself_o yet_o better_a for_o i_o fear_v i_o put_v myself_o upon_o too_o many_o thing_n at_o once_o though_o i_o ever_o want_v mean_n to_o know_v how_o to_o give_v myself_o to_o be_v well_o 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here_o of_o what_o it_o may_v import_v if_o such_o person_n be_v to_o preach_v or_o teach_v other_o for_o than_o it_o will_v be_v fit_a to_o serve_v themselves_o of_o that_o advantage_n towards_o the_o assist_a of_o their_o neighbour_n to_o that_o good_a and_o to_o help_v also_o poor_a people_n who_o know_v very_o little_a like_v i_o for_o charity_n be_v a_o very_a great_a matter_n and_o so_o be_v this_o help_a soul_n forward_o so_o that_o always_o it_o be_v do_v pure_o for_o god_n but_o now_o in_o these_o time_n of_o possess_v this_o great_a quiet_a let_v the_o soul_n be_v suffer_v to_o remain_v in_o rest_n with_o her_o true_a repose_n and_o let_v learning_n be_v lay_v aside_o for_o time_n will_v come_v afterward_o when_o it_o will_v fallout_a to_o be_v hold_v in_o so_o high_a account_n that_o they_o will_v by_o no_o mean_n have_v miss_v that_o treasure_n of_o knowledge_n if_o it_o be_v but_o only_o for_o the_o power_n it_o give_v they_o to_o do_v more_o and_o better_a service_n to_o 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this_o reason_n and_o upon_o many_o other_o consideration_n do_v i_o advertise_v in_o the_o first_o degree_n and_o state_n of_o prayer_n which_o answer_v to_o the_o first_o way_n of_o draw_v water_n in_o the_o garden_n that_o it_o be_v a_o all_o principal_a business_n when_o the_o soul_n be_v enter_v first_o upon_o prayer_n to_o begin_v to_o untie_v herself_o from_o the_o desire_n of_o all_o kind_n of_o sensible_a contentment_n and_o to_o enter_v upon_o this_o only_o resolution_n to_o help_v our_o lord_n jesus_n to_o carry_v his_o cross_n like_o good_a cavalier_n who_o be_v resolve_v to_o serve_v their_o king_n without_o wage_n since_o they_o be_v so_o sure_a of_o he_o as_o they_o be_v and_o we_o be_v also_o still_o to_o carry_v our_o eye_n upon_o that_o true_a and_o everlasting_a kingdom_n which_o we_o procure_v to_o acquire_v it_o be_v a_o very_a great_a point_n to_o have_v this_o ever_o in_o view_n and_o especial_o in_o the_o beginning_n for_o afterward_o it_o be_v see_v so_o very_o 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need_n also_o of_o such_o consideration_n as_o these_o and_o there_o be_v time_n when_o almighty_a god_n will_v try_v they_o nay_o it_o will_v seem_v as_o if_o this_o divine_a majesty_n will_v forsake_v they_o for_o as_o i_o have_v say_v already_o and_o i_o will_v fain_o not_o have_v it_o be_v forget_v the_o soul_n in_o this_o life_n which_o we_o live_v increase_v not_o as_o the_o body_n do_v though_o yet_o we_o say_v it_o do_v and_o real_o it_o do_v increase_v but_o yet_o a_o child_n after_o he_o be_v grow_v and_o become_v tall_a and_o prove_v to_o be_v already_o a_o man_n return_v not_o to_o decrease_v again_o and_o to_o have_v a_o little_a body_n yet_o now_o in_o the_o point_n of_o a_o soul_n our_o lord_n will_v have_v it_o be_v otherwise_o by_o what_o i_o have_v see_v of_o myself_o for_o i_o know_v it_o not_o in_o respect_n of_o other_o and_o it_o ought_v to_o humble_v we_o for_o our_o own_o great_a good_a and_o to_o the_o end_n also_o that_o we_o may_v not_o be_v negligent_a as_o 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have_v already_o show_v that_o there_o be_v then_o no_o power_n at_o all_o to_o do_v any_o thing_n that_o i_o express_v myself_o to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n much_o after_o this_o manner_n o_o lord_n consider_v well_o what_o thou_o do_v forget_v not_o my_o so_o very_a grievous_a sin_n so_o very_o soon_o and_o though_o thou_o have_v forget_v they_o so_o far_o as_o to_o vouchsafe_v to_o forgive_v they_o yet_o remember_v they_o also_o i_o humble_o beseech_v thou_o so_o far_o as_o to_o make_v thou_o put_v some_o limit_n upon_o those_o favour_n which_o thou_o be_v please_v to_o bestow_v upon_o i_o pour_v not_o o_o my_o creator_n so_o precious_a a_o liquor_n as_o that_o into_o so_o break_v a_o vessel_n as_o this_o since_o already_o thou_o have_v see_v how_o often_o i_o have_v scatter_v and_o spill_v it_o o_o lodge_v not_o and_o trust_v not_o such_o a_o treasure_n as_o this_o where_o the_o appetite_n and_o affection_n to_o all_o the_o consolation_n of_o this_o life_n be_v not_o yet_o so_o total_o lose_v and_o spend_v as_o it_o ought_v to_o be_v for_o if_o thou_o do_v it_o will_v be_v utter_o waste_v how_o can_v thou_o find_v in_o thy_o hart_n to_o deliver_v the_o strength_n of_o this_o city_n and_o even_o the_o very_a key_n of_o the_o fort_n into_o the_o hand_n of_o such_o a_o cowardly_a commander_n who_o be_v likely_a not_o to_o fail_v to_o give_v the_o enemy_n entrance_n upon_o the_o first_o assault_n which_o he_o shall_v make_v let_v not_o o_o my_o eternal_a king_n thy_o love_n to_o i_o be_v so_o great_a as_o that_o it_o shall_v make_v thou_o put_v such_o precious_a jewel_n as_o these_o into_o hazard_n and_o to_o i_o it_o seem_v o_o my_o lord_n that_o thou_o may_v give_v the_o world_n occasion_n hereby_o to_o undervalue_v these_o great_a favour_n of_o thou_o since_o thou_o put_v they_o into_o the_o custody_n and_o power_n of_o a_o creature_n who_o be_v so_o wicked_a so_o base_a so_o weak_a so_o miserable_a and_o of_o so_o little_a worth_n in_o any_o kind_n who_o though_o i_o now_o begin_v to_o labour_n that_o i_o may_v not_o utter_o loose_v they_o through_o thy_o favour_n which_o also_o have_v no_o need_n to_o be_v little_a consider_v what_o kind_n of_o thing_n i_o be_o shall_v yet_o be_v never_o able_a to_o gain_v any_o other_o creature_n to_o thou_o by_o mean_n thereof_o in_o fine_a i_o be_o a_o woman_n and_o no_o good_a woman_n but_o a_o very_a wicked_a one_o and_o it_o seem_v that_o these_o talent_n of_o thou_o be_v thus_o not_o only_o to_o be_v hide_v by_o this_o mean_n but_o even_o to_o be_v quite_o bury_v up_o since_o thou_o put_v they_o into_o so_o ungracious_a and_o unlucky_a a_o soil_n thou_o be_v not_o wont_a o_o lord_n to_o impart_v such_o favour_n and_o greatness_n as_o these_o to_o any_o soul_n but_o when_o there_o may_v be_v hope_n that_o she_o will_v be_v able_a to_o gain_v many_o other_o to_o thy_o service_n and_o thou_o know_v o_o my_o god_n already_o that_o i_o have_v sometime_o beg_v this_o favour_n and_o still_o i_o beg_v 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the_o grace_n and_o effect_n prayer_n which_o remain_v by_o this_o prayer_n in_o the_o soul_n and_o what_o that_o be_v which_o she_o may_v be_v able_a to_o do_v of_o herself_o and_o if_o she_o may_v any_o way_n conduce_v towards_o the_o bring_n herself_o to_o this_o high_a state_n it_o happen_v that_o this_o elevation_n of_o the_o spirit_n or_o union_n come_v both_o of_o they_o with_o a_o celestial_a kind_n of_o love._n for_o according_a to_o my_o way_n of_o understanding_n this_o union_n union_n be_v a_o different_a thing_n from_o elevation_n though_o yet_o the_o soul_n be_v elevate_v in_o this_o very_a union_n whosoever_o have_v not_o try_v and_o feel_v this_o last_o will_v be_v of_o a_o different_a conceit_n but_o yet_o in_o my_o opinion_n though_o even_o it_o shall_v be_v all_o one_o yet_o our_o lord_n work_v therein_o after_o a_o different_a manner_n and_o by_o the_o increase_n which_o the_o soul_n have_v of_o be_v able_a to_o untie_v herself_o from_o the_o love_n of_o all_o creature_n she_o seem_v to_o be_v very_o much_o great_a in_o that_o flight_n and_o elevation_n of_o the_o spirit_n and_o i_o have_v clear_o see_v that_o this_o be_v a_o distinct_a and_o particular_a favour_n although_o the_o thing_n themselves_o may_v be_v all_o one_o as_o i_o say_v or_o at_o least_o may_v seem_v so_o but_o a_o small_a fire_n be_v as_o true_o and_o real_o fire_n as_o a_o great_a one_o and_o yet_o still_o we_o see_v difference_n enough_o between_o the_o one_o and_o the_o other_o for_o before_o a_o little_a iron_n can_v be_v able_a to_o be_v make_v red_a hot_a in_o a_o small_a fire_n a_o good_a space_n of_o time_n will_v be_v spend_v but_o now_o if_o the_o fire_n be_v great_a the_o iron_n though_o it_o be_v also_o great_a will_v loose_v the_o appearance_n of_o iron_n very_o quick_o just_o so_o do_v it_o seem_v to_o i_o to_o happen_v in_o these_o two_o sort_n of_o favour_n from_o our_o bless_a lord_n and_o i_o know_v that_o whosoever_o may_v ever_o have_v arrive_v to_o be_v in_o rapt_v will_v understand_v i_o well_o but_o such_o as_o have_v have_v no_o experience_n therein_o will_v hold_v all_o that_o to_o be_v impertinent_a which_o i_o have_v say_v perhaps_o also_o it_o be_v so_o indeed_o and_o so_o as_o he_o will_v have_v have_v reason_n who_o believe_v it_o for_o how_o shall_v such_o a_o thing_n as_o i_o presume_v to_o speak_v of_o such_o a_o thing_n as_o this_o and_o to_o give_v some_o part_n of_o that_o to_o be_v understand_v which_o it_o seem_v impossible_a even_o to_o begin_v to_o declare_v with_o any_o word_n so_o that_o it_o be_v not_o strange_a a_o whitt_n if_o i_o talk_v idle_o but_o yet_o i_o believe_v this_o of_o our_o bless_a lord_n because_o his_o divine_a majesty_n know_v that_o next_o to_o this_o act_n of_o obedience_n my_o intention_n be_v no_o other_o then_o to_o make_v soul_n even_o as_o it_o be_v gluttonous_a after_o the_o obtain_n of_o so_o high_a a_o good_a that_o he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o assist_v i_o herein_o and_o i_o be_o sure_a i_o will_v say_v nothing_o whereof_o i_o have_v not_o have_v much_o experience_n and_o it_o be_v a_o real_a truth_n that_o when_o i_o begin_v to_o write_v of_o this_o water_n i_o conceive_v it_o to_o be_v a_o more_o impossible_a thing_n for_o i_o to_o treat_v of_o it_o then_o to_o speak_v greek_a so_o very_o hard_o do_v i_o find_v it_o upon_o this_o i_o give_v it_o over_o and_o go_v to_o receive_v the_o bless_a sacrament_n but_o our_o lord_n be_v ever_o praise_v who_o do_v so_o great_a favour_n to_o ignorant_a person_n o_o virtue_n of_o obedience_n which_o be_v able_a to_o do_v all_o thing_n for_o almighty_a god_n do_v illuminate_v my_o understanding_n sometime_o by_o help_v i_o to_o the_o very_a express_a word_n which_o i_o be_v to_o use_v and_o at_o other_o time_n by_o represent_v the_o manner_n to_o i_o how_o i_o shall_v declare_v the_o thing_n so_o that_o as_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v to_o do_v in_o the_o former_a degree_n of_o prayer_n it_o seem_v that_o he_o will_v also_o here_o declare_v what_o i_o neither_o can_v nor_o know_v how_o to_o express_v but_o that_o which_o now_o i_o say_v be_v a_o most_o literal_a truth_n and_o so_o that_o which_o shall_v be_v good_a be_v his_o instruction_n and_o doctrine_n and_o whatsoever_o falls-out_a to_o be_v ill_a it_o be_v clear_a that_o it_o proceed_v and_o flow_v from_o this_o deep_a sea_n of_o mischief_n and_o sin_n which_o be_v myself_o and_o therefore_o i_o here_o affirm_v that_o if_o any_o have_v arrive_v to_o these_o point_n and_o particular_n of_o prayer_n wherein_o our_o lord_n have_v do_v so_o great_a favour_n
she_o do_v not_o well_o consider_v that_o she_o have_v not_o yet_o mew_v all_o her_o own_o sick-feather_n she_o may_v well_o step_n out_o of_o her_o nest_n yea_o and_o almighty_a god_n himself_o will_n perhaps_o take_v she_o now_o and_o then_o out_o from_o thence_o but_o she_o be_v not_o yet_o fit_a for_o a_o flight_n because_o her_o virtue_n be_v not_o yet_o grow_v to_o be_v of_o full_a strength_n nor_o have_v she_o yet_o experience_n for_o the_o knowledge_n of_o danger_n nor_o do_v she_o yet_o understand_v the_o mischief_n which_o grow_v by_o put_v too_o much_o trust_v in_o her_o own_o force_n and_o now_o this_o be_v that_o which_o destroy_v i_o and_o both_o for_o this_o and_o for_o all_o thing_n there_o will_v be_v great_a necessity_n of_o a_o director_n and_o of_o conversation_n with_o person_n who_o be_v spiritual_a indeed_o it_o be_v true_a i_o be_o full_o persuade_v that_o when_o almighty_a god_n do_v once_o bring_v a_o soul_n to_o this_o state_n he_o will_v not_o leave_v to_o 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which_o he_o have_v do_v we_o as_o to_o make_v we_o be_v punish_v for_o they_o but_o that_o rather_o they_o will_v help_v to_o obtain_v pardon_n for_o we_o so_o much_o the_o soon_o as_o for_o person_n who_o have_v belong_v to_o his_o house_n and_o have_v have_v the_o honour_n to_o eat_v as_o man_n use_v to_o say_v of_o his_o bread_n let_v they_o remember_v his_o word_n and_o consider_v how_o he_o have_v proceed_v with_o i_o who_o even_o weary_v myself_o with_o offend_v his_o divine_a majesty_n before_o he_o will_v forbear_v or_o fail_v to_o pardon_v i_o for_o he_o never_o grow_v unwilling_a to_o give_v nor_o be_v it_o ever_o possible_a to_o draw_v his_o mercy_n dry_a and_o so_o let_v not_o we_o be_v weary_a of_o ever_o receive_v favour_n at_o his_o hand_n let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o amen_n and_o let_v all_o creature_n praise_v he_o the_o twenty_o chapter_n wherein_o she_o treat_v of_o the_o difference_n between_a union_n and_o rapt_v and_o declare_v what_o kind_n of_o thing_n 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piece_n for_o the_o combat_n and_o strife_n be_v great_a but_o in_o fine_a all_o help_v little_a for_o when_o our_o lord_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o do_v any_o thing_n no_o power_n be_v able_a to_o stand_v against_o it_o at_o other_o time_n he_o be_v please_v to_o content_v himself_o with_o let_v we_o see_v that_o he_o be_v dispose_v to_o do_v we_o that_o favour_n and_o that_o there_o be_v no_o aversion_n in_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o that_o we_o oppose_v ourselves_o for_o humility_n sake_n there_o follow_v yet_o the_o selfsame_a effect_n as_o if_o we_o have_v whole_o consent_v now_o these_o rapt_n effect_n be_v great_a for_o first_o the_o mighty_a power_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v make_v apparent_a thereby_o and_o that_o when_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v to_o dispose_v of_o thing_n otherwise_o we_o be_v no_o more_o able_a to_o detain_v our_o body_n than_o our_o soul_n nor_o be_v we_o lord_n thereof_o but_o we_o must_v in_o despite_n of_o our_o heart_n acknowledge_v that_o there_o be_v a_o superior_a and_o that_o these_o favour_n come_v from_o he_o and_o that_o of_o ourselves_o we_o can_v do_v nothing_o in_o nothing_o and_o so_o a_o great_a impression_n of_o humility_n be_v make_v upon_o the_o soul_n by_o this_o mean_n and_o further_o i_o confess_v that_o it_o breed_v also_o a_o great_a fear_n in_o i_o and_o at_o the_o first_o a_o extreme_a great_a one_o to_o see_v that_o a_o massy_a body_n shall_v be_v taken-up_a from_o the_o earth_n for_o though_o the_o spirit_n be_v that_o which_o draw_v it_o after_o it_o and_o though_o it_o be_v with_o great_a suavitie_n and_o delight_n if_o it_o be_v not_o resist_v yet_o our_o sense_n be_v not_o lose_v thereby_o at_o least_o i_o for_o my_o part_n be_v so_o perfect_o in_o my_o sense_n that_o i_o be_v able_a to_o understand_v that_o i_o be_v raise_v there_o do_v also_o hereby_o appear_v so_o great_a a_o majesty_n in_o he_o who_o can_v do_v this_o that_o it_o make_v even_o the_o very_a hair_n of_o the_o head_n stand_v on_o end_n and_o there_o remain_v a_o mighty_a fear_n to_o offend_v so_o great_a a_o god_n but_o yet_o so_o as_o that_o it_o be_v wrap_v up_o in_o a_o excessive_a kind_n of_o love_n which_o she_o begin_v to_o conceive_v even_o new_o and_o fresh_o again_o towards_o he_o who_o she_o find_v to_o carry_v so_o great_a a_o love_n to_o such_o rot_a worm_n as_o we_o be_v for_o now_o he_o seem_v not_o content_a with_o draw_v the_o soul_n only_o to_o himself_o in_o so_o particular_a and_o so_o certain_a a_o manner_n but_o that_o he_o will_v needs_o also_o draw_v the_o very_a body_n too_o even_o whilst_o it_o be_v so_o very_o mortal_a and_o compose_v of_o so_o filthy_a earth_n as_o we_o have_v make_v it_o by_o our_o sin_n this_o also_o leave_v in_o the_o soul_n a_o very_a strange_a kind_n of_o loosen_v and_o cast_v itself_o off_o from_o all_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n whereof_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o express_v well_o what_o it_o be_v but_o i_o think_v i_o may_v well_o say_v that_o it_o be_v not_o only_o in_o some_o sort_n a_o different_a but_o also_o a_o great_a kind_n of_o thing_n than_o those_o other_o which_o work_n upon_o the_o only_o spirit_n import_n for_o though_o in_o those_o other_o visitation_n also_o there_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o total_a untie_n and_o loosen_v itself_o from_o all_o thing_n for_o as_o much_o as_o concern_v the_o spirit_n yet_o here_o it_o seem_v our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o even_o the_o body_n also_o itself_o shall_v put_v this_o point_n in_o practice_n and_o it_o breed_v in_o any_o creature_n such_o a_o new_a kind_n of_o shynesse_n and_o mislike_v in_o order_n to_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n that_o it_o make_v even_o our_o very_a life_n much_o the_o more_o painful_a to_o us._n it_o give_v also_o such_o another_o book_n pain_n as_o we_o can_v neither_o tell_v how_o to_o procure_v when_o we_o have_v it_o not_o nor_o free_v ourselves_o from_o the_o same_o when_o we_o have_v it_o and_o i_o will_v be_v extreme_o glad_a 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hereafter_o of_o those_o great_a impetuosity_n which_o they_o use_v to_o bring_v upon_o i_o before_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o those_o rapt_n yet_o they_o have_v in_o my_o opinion_n no_o more_o to_o do_v by_o way_n of_o comparison_n one_o with_o another_o than_o there_o be_v between_o thing_n corporal_a and_o spiritual_a and_o i_o believe_v that_o i_o do_v not_o exaggerate_v the_o matter_n a_o whitt_n by_o say_v so_o because_o that_o pain_n seem_v to_o be_v such_o as_o that_o although_o the_o soul_n do_v feel_v it_o yet_o it_o feel_v it_o
will_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n and_o for_o his_o glory_n now_o real_o and_o with_o effect_n all_o these_o thing_n be_v wont_a to_o pass_v in_o this_o manner_n if_o the_o rapt_n be_v true_a and_o the_o soul_n be_v vest_v with_o those_o advantage_n and_o benefit_n which_o be_v relate_v and_o if_o these_o do_v not_o follow_v i_o shall_v be_v apt_a to_o doubt_v very_o much_o that_o they_o be_v not_o rapt_n on_o the_o part_n of_o god_n but_o shall_v rather_o be_v incline_v to_o fear_v that_o they_o be_v of_o that_o kind_n of_o rave_n whereof_o s._n vincent_n speak_v at_o least_o this_o be_v what_o i_o understand_v and_o i_o have_v see_v by_o experience_n itself_o that_o the_o soul_n be_v wont_a in_o these_o case_n to_o become_v a_o lady_n and_o queen_n over_o all_o creature_n and_o to_o acquire_v so_o much_o liberty_n of_o spirit_n in_o less_o than_o a_o hour_n that_o she_o can_v even_o know_v herself_o but_o yet_o she_o well_o understand_v that_o all_o this_o be_v none_o of_o her_o own_o 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last_v no_o long_o than_o the_o open_n as_o it_o be_v and_o shut_v of_o a_o eye_n for_o then_o in_o effect_n it_o be_v scarce_o feel_v at_o all_o but_o only_o by_o the_o very_a effect_n which_o it_o leave_v behind_o it_o and_o when_o on_o the_o other_o side_n this_o favour_n continue_v to_o be_v of_o much_o long_a extent_n but_o it_o occurr_v to_o i_o often_o to_o doubt_v whether_o the_o cause_n of_o this_o may_v not_o be_v that_o the_o soul_n dispose_v not_o herself_o entire_o for_o god_n till_o his_o divine_a majesty_n bring_v she_o up_o and_o breed_v she_o for_o himself_o by_o little_a and_o little_a and_o so_o bespeak_v she_o to_o resolve_v her_o self_n all_o at_o once_o and_o give_v she_o the_o very_a strength_n of_o a_o grow_v man_n to_o the_o end_n that_o she_o may_v cast_v all_o as_o it_o be_v a_o thousand_o mile_n off_o as_o he_o instant_o do_v with_o s._n marie_n magdalen_n and_o as_o he_o also_o do_v with_o other_o after_o the_o rate_n of_o their_o cooperate_a with_o he_o 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now_o i_o return_v most_o humble_o to_o beseech_v your_o reverence_n that_o if_o you_o mean_v to_o impart_v these_o thing_n which_o i_o have_v write_v concern_v my_o prayer_n they_o may_v be_v very_o spiritual_a person_n to_o who_o you_o do_v it_o for_o if_o they_o understand_v no_o more_o than_o some_o one_o way_n or_o if_o they_o have_v remain_v in_o the_o half_a way_n they_o will_v never_o be_v so_o well_o able_a to_o hit_v right_a now_o there_o be_v some_o who_o almighty_a god_n carry_v instant_o by_o a_o very_a sublime_a kind_n of_o address_n and_o they_o perhaps_o will_v conceive_v that_o other_o may_v also_o profit_v there_o and_o may_v quiet_v and_o calm_v the_o understanding_n and_o not_o serve_v themselves_o at_o all_o of_o the_o mean_n of_o any_o corporeal_a object_n but_o yet_o these_o creature_n with_o all_o this_o shall_v come_v in_o fine_a to_o remain_v as_o dry_v as_o a_o stick_n and_o some_o who_o have_v grow_v to_o enjoy_v a_o little_a quiet_a grow_v also_o to_o 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it_o herself_o i_o will_v now_o return_v to_o that_o place_n where_o i_o give_v over_o the_o discourse_n of_o my_o life_n for_o i_o have_v detain_v myself_o perhaps_o long_o than_o i_o ought_v to_o the_o end_n that_o yet_o that_o which_o follow_v may_v grow_v to_o be_v the_o better_o understand_v from_o hence_o forward_a this_o will_v be_v another_o new_a book_n i_o mean_v another_o new_a life_n for_o hitherto_o it_o be_v i_o but_o the_o life_n which_o i_o have_v live_v since_o i_o begin_v to_o declare_v these_o thing_n of_o prayer_n be_v that_o when_o god_n live_v in_o i_o forasmuch_o as_o i_o can_v conceive_v since_o i_o hold_v it_o to_o be_v impossible_a otherwise_o for_o i_o to_o have_v give_v over_o both_o such_o ill_a action_n and_o condition_n in_o so_o short_a a_o time_n let_v our_o lord_n be_v everlasting_o praise_v for_o deliver_v i_o in_o such_o sort_n from_o myself_o but_o i_o begin_v now_o to_o free_v my_o soul_n from_o the_o occasion_n of_o ill_a and_o to_o give_v myself_o more_o to_o prayer_n our_o lord_n begin_v also_o to_o do_v i_o favour_n as_o one_o who_o in_o all_o appearance_n desire_v but_o that_o i_o will_v be_v content_a to_o receive_v they_o his_o divine_a majesty_n do_v therefore_o then_o very_o ordinary_o give_v i_o the_o prayer_n of_o quiet_a and_o many_o time_n that_o also_o of_o union_n which_o last_v very_o long_o fit_v of_o time_n but_o now_o when_o i_o understand_v that_o there_o have_v occur_v great_a illusion_n of_o certain_a woman_n and_o deceit_n which_o the_o devil_n put_v upon_o they_o i_o begin_v to_o be_v afraid_a as_o consider_v the_o delight_n and_o sweetness_n
marry_v to_o one_o of_o my_o cousin-germans_a and_o i_o have_v much_o acquaintance_n there_o and_o by_o this_o mean_n i_o procure_v that_o the_o priest_n who_o be_v his_o great_a friend_n and_o withal_o so_o great_a a_o servant_n of_o god_n may_v come_v and_o speak_v with_o i_o for_o i_o intend_v to_o confess_v myself_o to_o he_o and_o to_o have_v he_o for_o my_o director_n and_o now_o that_o cavallier_n conduct_v he_o to_o i_o to_o the_o end_n that_o we_o may_v speak_v together_o and_o i_o remain_v with_o extreme_a confusion_n to_o see_v myself_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o so_o holy_a a_o man_n give_v he_o some_o knowledge_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o of_o the_o prayer_n which_o i_o use_v for_o he_o excuse_v himself_o from_o take_v my_o confession_n as_o tell_v i_o that_o he_o be_v very_o full_a of_o business_n and_o so_o indeed_o he_o be_v as_o for_o he_o he_o determine_v with_o a_o holy_a kind_n of_o resolution_n to_o conduct_v i_o as_o a_o person_n who_o be_v confirm_v and_o strong_a for_o indeed_o i_o be_v to_o have_v be_v so_o in_o all_o reason_n according_a to_o the_o prayer_n which_o he_o see_v i_o hold_v that_o so_o i_o may_v no_o more_o offend_v almighty_a god_n in_o the_o least_o degree_n but_o when_o i_o so_o quick_o find_v his_o resolution_n concern_v those_o little_a thing_n from_o which_o as_o i_o say_v i_o have_v not_o the_o courage_n to_o depart_v instant_o with_o so_o great_a perfection_n i_o be_v much_o afflict_v and_o when_o i_o also_o find_v that_o he_o mean_v to_o carry_v the_o business_n of_o my_o soul_n after_o such_o manner_n as_o if_o he_o will_v make_v a_o end_n as_o it_o be_v all_o at_o once_o by_o dispose_v and_o settle_v thereof_o i_o see_v that_o i_o have_v need_n of_o much_o more_o consideration_n and_o care_n to_o be_v use_v towards_o i_o than_o that_o in_o a_o word_n i_o be_v of_o opinion_n that_o the_o mean_n which_o he_o prescribe_v be_v not_o they_o whereby_o my_o remedy_n be_v to_o be_v procure_v for_o they_o be_v proper_a for_o a_o soul_n which_o have_v be_v more_o perfect_a then_o i_o but_o as_o for_o i_o though_o i_o have_v proceed_v very_o far_o in_o as_o much_o as_o may_v concern_v the_o favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n to_o my_o soul_n yet_o for_o as_o much_o as_o concern_v virtue_n and_o mortification_n i_o be_v but_o in_o the_o very_a beginning_n thereof_o and_o certain_o i_o conceive_v that_o if_o i_o have_v not_o be_v to_o treat_v with_o any_o other_o than_o he_o my_o soul_n will_v never_o have_v improve_v and_o thrive_v for_o through_o the_o affliction_n which_o it_o give_v i_o to_o see_v how_o i_o do_v not_o yea_o and_o how_o as_o i_o think_v i_o can_v not_o do_v that_o which_o he_o prescribe_v it_o be_v enough_o to_o make_v i_o loose_v my_o hope_n and_o to_o give-ove_a the_o whole_a business_n sometime_o i_o be_o apt_a to_o marvel_v that_o almighty_a god_n be_v not_o please_v to_o let_v this_o scruant_n of_o he_o the_o holy_a priest_n receive_v a_o perfect_a knowledge_n of_o my_o soul_n nor_o to_o encharge_v himself_o with_o the_o care_n thereof_o since_o he_o be_v a_o person_n who_o have_v a_o particular_a facility_n and_o grace_n in_o beginning_n to_o gain_v soul_n to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n but_o i_o see_v that_o all_o this_o happen_v for_o my_o great_a good_a that_o so_o i_o may_v come_v to_o know_v and_o converse_v with_o so_o holy_a man_n as_o they_o of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n be_v but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o remain_v in_o agreement_n with_o that_o cavalier_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v that_o now_o and_o then_o he_o shall_v do_v i_o the_o favour_n to_o visit_v i_o and_o here_o i_o discern_v his_o great_a humility_n since_o he_o will_v be_v content_v to_o converse_v with_o so_o wicked_a a_o creature_n as_o myself_o he_o begin_v therefore_o then_o to_o visit_v i_o and_o to_o encourage_v i_o and_o to_o tell_v i_o that_o i_o must_v not_o think_v to_o deliver_v myself_o from_o all_o my_o imperfection_n in_o one_o day_n but_o that_o by_o little_a and_o little_a almighty_a god_n will_v do_v it_o and_o that_o himself_o have_v remain_v some_o whole_a year_n in_o reform_v some_o very_a little_a light_a thing_n as_o not_o be_v able_a to_o finish_v the_o work_n soon_o o_o humility_n how_o great_a blessing_n do_v thou_o bestow_v upon_o they_o with_o who_o thou_o remain_v yea_o and_o even_o upon_o those_o other_o also_o who_o do_v but_o even_o approach_v to_o the_o possessor_n thereof_o this_o saint_n for_o in_o my_o opinion_n i_o may_v well_o give_v he_o this_o name_n with_o great_a reason_n relate_v certain_a particular_n to_o i_o concern_v himself_o which_o through_o his_o humility_n seem_v weakness_n to_o he_o but_o he_o do_v it_o for_o my_o remedy_n and_o redress_v and_o consider_v his_o condition_n and_o way_n of_o life_n they_o import_v neither_o fault_n nor_o imperfection_n but_o as_o for_o i_o it_o be_v a_o very_a great_a one_o to_o be_v subject_a to_o they_o nor_o do_v i_o say_v thus_o much_o by_o chance_n though_o perhaps_o i_o extend_v myself_o too_o far_o in_o speak_v of_o these_o very_a little_a thing_n but_o they_o import_v so_o much_o for_o bring_v a_o soul_n into_o the_o way_n of_o profit_v in_o spirit_n and_o for_o get_v she_o out_o to_o fly_v which_o have_v scarce_o get_v yet_o any_o feather_n that_o no_o body_n who_o have_v not_o experience_n of_o it_o will_v believe_v it_o and_o i_o affirm_v these_o thing_n here_o the_o rather_o because_o i_o hope_v in_o almighty_a god_n that_o this_o which_o i_o be_o say_v now_o will_v do_v much_o good_a for_o all_o my_o help_n and_o hope_v consist_v in_o find_v out_o the_o way_n how_o to_o cure_v i_o and_o in_o their_o exercise_v humility_n and_o charity_n towards_o i_o yea_o and_o to_o have_v patience_n also_o in_o perceive_v that_o i_o do_v not_o instant_o and_o entire_o amend_v myself_o and_o this_o man_n go_v with_o discretion_n by_o little_a and_o little_a and_o show_v i_o diverse_a way_n how_o to_o overcome_v the_o devil_n in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o begin_v to_o carry_v so_o entire_a a_o affection_n to_o he_o that_o i_o can_v not_o receive_v a_o great_a ease_n and_o joy_n then_o to_o live_v that_o day_n when_o i_o may_v see_v he_o though_o they_o be_v but_o few_o when_o he_o delay_v his_o visit_n i_o be_v very_o much_o and_o very_o quick_o trouble_v at_o it_o as_o doubt_v that_o he_o forbear_v to_o see_v i_o because_o i_o be_v so_o wicked_a when_o he_o come_v to_o know_v my_o so_o great_a imperfection_n yea_o and_o even_o they_o may_v reach_v to_o be_v sin_n though_o yet_o after_o i_o have_v begin_v to_o treat_v with_o he_o i_o be_v somewhat_o mend_v and_o when_o i_o inform_v he_o also_o of_o the_o favour_n which_o almighty_a god_n have_v be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o to_o the_o end_n that_o he_o may_v give_v i_o light_n he_o tell_v i_o that_o all_o those_o several_a thing_n do_v not_o suit_n very_o well_o with_o one_o another_o and_o that_o those_o regalo_n be_v not_o belong_v but_o to_o person_n who_o be_v already_o very_o much_o improve_v and_o mortify_v that_o for_o his_o part_n he_o can_v not_o forbear_v to_o be_v much_o afraid_a because_o it_o seem_v one_o to_o he_o that_o there_o appear_v a_o evil_a spirit_n in_o some_o thing_n though_o yet_o he_o will_v not_o absolute_o resolve_v it_o but_o he_o wish_v that_o i_o shall_v consider_v very_o well_o of_o whatsoever_o i_o understand_v concern_v my_o prayer_n and_o so_o relate_v it_o to_o he_o now_o here_o the_o great_a trouble_n be_v that_o i_o can_v tell_v he_o nothing_o at_o all_o of_o what_o my_o prayer_n be_v for_o indeed_o it_o be_v not_o long_o since_o almighty_a god_n have_v do_v i_o the_o favour_n of_o know_v either_o how_o to_o understand_v it_o or_o declare_v it_o but_o as_o soon_o as_o he_o have_v express_v himself_o to_o i_o the_o affliction_n which_o i_o have_v be_v great_a and_o the_o tear_n which_o i_o shed_v be_v many_o through_o the_o fear_n i_o have_v for_o certain_o i_o desire_v to_o serve_v and_o please_v almighty_a god_n and_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o persuade_v myself_o that_o it_o be_v of_o the_o devil_n only_o i_o fear_v least_z for_o my_o great_a sin_n our_o lord_n may_v blind_v i_o so_o far_o as_o that_o i_o can_v not_o understand_v it_o but_o then_o turn_v over_o some_o book_n to_o see_v if_o i_o can_v meet_v with_o any_o thing_n concern_v my_o prayer_n i_o find_v in_o one_o which_o be_v call_v the_o ascent_n to_o the_o mountain_n in_o that_o particular_a which_o concern_v the_o union_n of_o a_o soul_n with_o almighty_a god_n all_o those_o sign_n which_o i_o have_v in_o that_o state_n of_o my_o
not_o be_v able_a to_o think_v of_o any_o thing_n for_o this_o be_v that_o of_o which_o i_o speak_v most_o that_o namely_o i_o can_v not_o think_v of_o any_o thing_n in_o distinct_a manner_n when_o i_o have_v that_o prayer_n and_o i_o mark_v and_o note_v those_o place_n with_o certain_a line_n wherein_o that_o passage_n be_v contain_v and_o then_o i_o deliver_v he_o the_o book_n to_o the_o end_n that_o both_o himself_o and_o that_o holy_a priest_n and_o servant_n of_o god_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v before_o may_v consider_v it_o and_o make_v i_o know_v what_o i_o be_v to_o do_v and_o whither_o perhaps_o they_o may_v be_v of_o opinion_n that_o i_o be_v to_o give-ove_a my_o prayer_n altogether_o for_o in_o fine_a to_o what_o purpose_n be_v i_o to_o thrust_v myself_o into_o those_o danger_n if_o now_o after_o i_o have_v use_v this_o prayer_n for_o almost_o twenty_o year_n together_o i_o have_v make_v no_o other_o benefit_n thereof_o but_o to_o be_v subject_a to_o the_o deceit_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o that_o therefore_o it_o be_v better_o for_o i_o not_o to_o use_v this_o prayer_n at_o all_o though_o yet_o it_o be_v also_o true_a that_o this_o show_v itself_o as_o a_o very_a sad_a and_o hard_a case_n to_o i_o since_o already_o i_o have_v find_v by_o experience_n how_o ill_o it_o go_v with_o my_o soul_n without_o the_o exercise_n of_o prayer_n so_o that_o now_o i_o can_v see_v nothing_o but_o misery_n on_o all_o side_n like_o one_o who_o be_v cast_v into_o a_o river_n and_o to_o which_o side_n soever_o he_o shall_v go_v he_o may_v still_o have_v the_o more_o danger_n to_o fear_v and_o be_v so_o come_v to_o the_o very_a point_n as_o it_o be_v of_o drown_v this_o be_v a_o very_a mighty_a affliction_n and_o of_o this_o kind_n i_o have_v endure_v many_o as_o i_o shall_v declare_v afterward_o for_o though_o perhaps_o it_o may_v seem_v not_o to_o import_v yet_o peradventure_o it_o may_v indeed_o prove_v to_o be_v of_o use_n towards_o the_o understanding_n of_o how_o a_o spirit_n be_v to_o be_v try_v for_o certain_o the_o affliction_n which_o use_v to_o be_v endure_v in_o these_o case_n be_v very_o great_a and_o there_o be_v need_n of_o a_o nice_a hand_n and_o of_o a_o warye_a foot_n especial_o when_o man_n treat_v with_o woman_n for_o our_o weakness_n be_v very_o great_a and_o much_o mischief_n may_v chance_v to_o arrive_v by_o tell_v we_o that_o such_o or_o such_o a_o thing_n be_v certain_o the_o devil_n without_o consider_v it_o first_o very_o well_o and_o remove_v we_o from_o those_o danger_n which_o may_v occur_v and_o advise_v we_o to_o keep_v thing_n very_o private_a and_o that_o they_o also_o be_v careful_a thereof_o themselves_o for_o this_o be_v fit_a and_o herein_o it_o be_v i_o who_o speak_v as_o one_o who_o have_v endure_v affliction_n enough_o for_o not_o have_v have_v fit_a person_n with_o who_o i_o may_v confer_v about_o my_o prayer_n but_o by_o ask_v first_o one_o and_o then_o another_o what_o may_v do_v i_o good_a which_o have_v do_v i_o hurt_n enough_o for_o now_o diverse_a thing_n have_v grow_v to_o be_v public_a which_o may_v well_o have_v remain_v very_o private_a since_o they_o be_v not_o for_o every_o body_n be_v understand_v and_o beside_o it_o may_v have_v seem_v as_o if_o they_o have_v be_v diwlge_v by_o i_o i_o well_o believe_v that_o those_o other_o do_v it_o without_o any_o fault_n in_o they_o but_o that_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o permit_v it_o to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v suffer_v by_o it_o i_o be_o far_o from_o say_v yea_o or_o so_o much_o as_o think_v as_o if_o any_o of_o they_o relate_v any_o such_o particular_a as_o have_v pass_v from_o i_o to_o they_o in_o confession_n for_o there_o be_v no_o such_o matter_n but_o yet_o in_o regard_n it_o come_v from_o i_o to_o such_o person_n as_o to_o who_o in_o the_o way_n of_o conference_n i_o give_v account_n of_o my_o fear_n to_o the_o end_n that_o they_o may_v assist_v i_o with_o give_v i_o light_n i_o think_v they_o may_v have_v keep_v my_o counsel_n but_o how_o soever_o i_o dare_v never_o conceal_v any_o thing_n from_o such_o person_n in_o such_o occasion_n as_o those_o i_o say_v therefore_o that_o such_o as_o i_o be_v then_o must_v be_v counsel_v with_o much_o discretion_n and_o animate_v and_o time_n must_v be_v expect_v for_o our_o bless_a lord_n will_v help_v they_o as_o he_o do_v i_o which_o if_o he_o have_v not_o do_v the_o prejudice_n which_o i_o shall_v have_v suffer_v will_v have_v be_v extreme_a by_o reason_n of_o my_o be_v so_o full_a of_o apprehension_n and_o fear_n and_o especial_o consider_v to_o how_o great_a palpitation_n of_o hart_n i_o be_v subject_a i_o wonder_v how_o this_o other_o accident_n do_v i_o not_o more_o hurt_n when_o therefore_o i_o have_v deliver_v this_o book_n and_o make_v a_o relation_n of_o my_o life_n and_o of_o my_o sin_n the_o best_a i_o can_v though_o yet_o in_o gross_a for_o i_o do_v it_o not_o in_o the_o way_n of_o confession_n in_o regard_n he_o be_v a_o secular_a person_n though_o yet_o still_o i_o make_v he_o understand_v how_o wicked_a i_o be_v those_o two_o servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n consider_v with_o great_a charity_n and_o love_n what_o may_v be_v convenient_a for_o i_o to_o do_v now_o the_o answer_n be_v ready_a which_o i_o expect_v with_o fear_n enough_o and_o i_o have_v recommend_v myself_o at_o that_o time_n to_o many_o person_n that_o they_o may_v recommend_v i_o over_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o myself_o also_o have_v be_v much_o in_o prayer_n with_o affliction_n enough_o of_o hart_n to_o myself_o the_o cavallier_n come_v to_o i_o at_o length_n and_o tell_v i_o that_o in_o the_o opinion_n both_o of_o himself_o and_o of_o the_o other_o it_o be_v the_o devil_n and_o that_o the_o thing_n which_o will_v be_v fit_a for_o i_o to_o do_v be_v to_o treat_v about_o this_o business_n with_o a_o certain_a father_n of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n who_o if_o i_o will_v call_v he_o to_o i_o &_o declare_v that_o i_o be_v in_o necessity_n of_o his_o help_n will_v not_o fail_v to_o come_v and_o that_o i_o shall_v give_v he_o a_o account_n of_o my_o whole_a life_n by_o way_n of_o make_v a_o general_n confession_n as_o also_o otherwise_o of_o my_o condition_n and_o that_o i_o must_v proceed_v in_o all_o thing_n with_o much_o clearness_n and_o that_o then_o in_o virtue_n of_o the_o sacrament_n of_o confession_n almighty_a god_n will_v give_v he_o more_o light_a where_o with_o to_o direct_v i_o and_o that_o they_o be_v man_n of_o great_a experience_n in_o matter_n of_o spirit_n but_o that_o i_o shall_v do_v well_o to_o be_v very_o careful_a not_o to_o swerve_v a_o whitt_n from_o what_o he_o say_v for_o that_o i_o will_v find_v myself_o in_o much_o danger_n if_o i_o want_v one_o to_o govern_v and_o direct_v my_o soul_n as_o for_o i_o he_o put_v i_o now_o into_o so_o great_a fear_n and_o pain_n that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v with_o myself_o and_o now_o there_o be_v nothing_o with_o i_o but_o weep_v and_o be_v one_o day_n very_o much_o afflict_v in_o a_o oratory_n i_o fall_v upon_o read_v a_o certain_a book_n which_o it_o seem_v our_o lord_n bring_v to_o my_o hand_n and_o s._n paul_n be_v cite_v there_o say_v that_o god_n be_v very_o faithful_a and_o that_o he_o never_o suffer_v they_o who_o love_v he_o to_o be_v tempt_v above_o their_o strength_n this_o comfort_v i_o very_o much_o and_o i_o begin_v to_o consider_v about_o make_v my_o general_n confession_n and_o to_o work_n put_v in_o writing_n all_o the_o sin_n and_o blessing_n with_o the_o course_n and_o proceed_v of_o my_o whole_a life_n the_o most_o clear_o that_o i_o understand_v and_o know_v how_o to_o do_v without_o leave_v any_o little_a thing_n out_o and_o i_o remember_v that_o when_o i_o read_v over_o what_o i_o have_v write_v and_o see_v so_o many_o sin_n to_o have_v be_v commit_v by_o i_o and_o in_o effect_n no_o good_a at_o all_o to_o have_v be_v do_v it_o give_v i_o a_o extreme_a affliction_n and_o sorrow_n of_o hart_n it_o also_o put_v i_o to_o 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great_o feel_v every_o offence_n which_o i_o may_v commit_v against_o almighty_a god_n how_o light_n or_o small_a soever_o the_o same_o may_v be_v in_o such_o sort_n and_o to_o so_o high_a a_o proportion_n as_o that_o if_o i_o do_v but_o wear_v any_o one_o little_a superfluous_a thing_n about_o i_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o recollect_v myself_o till_o i_o have_v put_v it_o off_o i_o make_v much_o prayer_n to_o our_o bless_a lord_n that_o he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o protect_v i_o still_o and_o that_o since_o i_o converse_v and_o treat_v the_o business_n of_o my_o soul_n with_o his_o servant_n he_o will_v never_o permit_v that_o i_o shall_v return_v back_o again_o for_o i_o conceive_v that_o that_o will_v be_v a_o strange_a offence_n in_o i_o yea_o and_o that_o even_o they_o will_v grow_v to_o loose_a credit_n by_o it_o upon_o my_o occasion_n at_o this_o time_n come_v to_o this_o place_n father_n francis_n borgia_n who_o have_v be_v duke_n of_o gandia_n and_o who_o already_o some_o 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this_o time_n they_o change_v my_o ghostly_a father_n from_o that_o place_n to_o another_o which_o i_o resent_v extreme_o for_o i_o think_v i_o be_v to_o turn_v wicked_a again_o as_o also_o i_o conceive_v that_o it_o will_v not_o be_v possible_a that_o ever_o i_o shall_v find_v another_o like_v he_o my_o soul_n be_v full_a of_o discomfort_n and_o fear_n even_o as_o if_o it_o have_v be_v plant_v in_o a_o kind_n of_o desert_n nor_o do_v i_o know_v in_o fine_a what_o to_o do_v with_o myself_o a_o certain_a kinswoeman_n of_o i_o procure_v then_o to_o carry_v i_o along_o with_o she_o to_o her_o house_n and_o i_o procure_v also_o to_o go_v the_o rather_o that_o so_o i_o may_v get_v another_o confessarius_fw-la of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n our_o lord_n be_v also_o please_v then_o that_o i_o shall_v make_v friendship_n with_o a_o certain_a lady_n a_o widow_n who_o be_v both_o of_o much_o quality_n and_o of_o great_a prayer_n and_o she_o converse_v very_o much_o with_o the_o father_n of_o the_o say_a society_n and_o she_o draw_v i_o also_o to_o confess_v to_o her_o confessarius_fw-la i_o remain_v a_o good_a while_n in_o her_o house_n for_o she_o live_v near_o i_o and_o i_o be_v glad_a to_o treat_v much_o with_o those_o father_n for_o even_o by_o the_o only_a understanding_n which_o i_o come_v to_o have_v of_o the_o sanctity_n of_o their_o conversation_n and_o way_n of_o proceed_v the_o profit_n which_o my_o soul_n find_v and_o feel_v be_v great_a this_o father_n begin_v to_o address_v i_o and_o engage_v i_o upon_o way_n of_o more_o perfection_n he_o tell_v i_o that_o for_o the_o give_v almighty_a god_n entire_a contentment_n and_o gust_n there_o be_v nothing_o to_o be_v lest_o undo_v but_o this_o man_n he_o say_v with_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o prudence_n and_o sweetness_n for_o my_o soul_n be_v not_o yet_o any_o thing_n strong_a but_o green_a and_o tender_a especial_o in_o the_o point_n of_o giving-ove_a certain_a freindships_n which_o i_o maintain_v at_o that_o time_n 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it_o be_v out_o of_o myself_o and_o of_o this_o i_o can_v not_o doubt_v for_o it_o be_v very_o evident_a and_o it_o be_v also_o the_o very_a first_o time_n that_o our_o lord_n show_v i_o the_o favour_n of_o rapt_n and_o then_o i_o hear_v these_o far_o word_n from_o he_o i_o will_v not_o have_v thou_o now_o hold_v conversation_n with_o man_n but_o with_o angel_n this_o give_v i_o a_o great_a amazement_n for_o the_o commotion_n of_o the_o soul_n be_v great_a and_o those_o word_n be_v speak_v to_o i_o in_o the_o very_a interior_a part_n of_o the_o spirit_n so_o that_o they_o make_v i_o afraid_a though_o yet_o on_o the_o other_o side_n they_o give_v i_o also_o great_a consolation_n which_o upon_o the_o very_a flight_n of_o that_o fear_n which_o have_v in_o my_o opinion_n cause_v that_o strange_a novelty_n do_v still_o remain_v with_o i_o the_o truth_n be_v that_o this_o speech_n of_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v very_o well_o accomplish_v and_o perform_v for_o never_o have_v i_o be_v even_o able_a any_o more_o to_o establish_v any_o friendship_n at_o all_o nor_o to_o feel_v any_o consolation_n nor_o entertain_v any_o particular_a love_n towards_o any_o other_o person_n than_o such_o as_o i_o understand_v and_o know_v to_o love_v almighty_a god_n and_o to_o procure_v to_o serve_v he_o nor_o be_v it_o now_o any_o long_a in_o my_o hand_n or_o power_n nor_o serve_v it_o a_o whitt_n to_o the_o purpose_n whether_o any_o of_o they_o be_v kindred_n or_o friend_n or_o no_o for_o if_o i_o understand_v not_o that_o he_o be_v the_o servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n or_o a_o person_n addict_v to_o prayer_n it_o be_v no_o less_o than_o a_o heavy_a cross_n for_o i_o to_o converse_v much_o with_o any_o creature_n and_o this_o be_v certain_o true_a to_o the_o uttermost_a of_o what_o i_o can_v judge_v of_o myself_o from_o that_o day_n forward_o i_o have_v remain_v full_a of_o courage_n and_o resolution_n to_o leave_v the_o whole_a world_n for_o almighty_a god_n in_o regard_n he_o have_v be_v please_v in_o that_o very_a moment_n for_o it_o seem_v no_o more_o to_o i_o than_o a_o very_a moment_n to_o make_v this_o servant_n of_o he_o become_v whole_o another_o creature_n than_o what_o she_o have_v be_v so_o that_o now_o there_o be_v no_o long_a need_n that_o they_o shall_v command_v i_o in_o that_o particular_a any_o more_o for_o when_o my_o ghostly_a father_n have_v find_v i_o to_o be_v so_o fix_v upon_o this_o point_n he_o have_v not_o yet_o adventure_v to_o will_v i_o express_o to_o do_v it_o for_o he_o do_v without_o all_o doubt_n expect_v that_o our_o lord_n shall_v be_v please_v to_o
do_v it_o himself_o as_o indeed_o he_o do_v nor_o yet_o can_v i_o ever_o imagine_v that_o it_o will_v prove_v to_o take_v effect_n with_o i_o as_o yet_o it_o fall_v out_o to_o do_v because_o already_o i_o have_v use_v some_o endeavour_n that_o way_n and_o the_o affliction_n which_o i_o receive_v by_o it_o be_v so_o great_a that_o i_o resolve_v to_o give_v over_o the_o attempt_n as_o be_v a_o thing_n which_o i_o hold_v not_o to_o be_v inconvenient_a to_o continue_v but_o now_o here_o our_o bless_a lord_n impart_v both_o liberty_n and_o strength_n to_o i_o to_o put_v it_o in_o execution_n i_o tell_v this_o very_a thing_n to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n and_o i_o give_v over_o that_o friendship_n according_a to_o what_o i_o have_v be_v command_v and_o it_o do_v they_o no_o little_a good_a with_o who_o i_o have_v be_v wont_a to_o converse_v to_o see_v this_o resolution_n grow_v in_o i_o almighty_a god_n be_v ever_o bless_v and_o praise_v who_o give_v i_o that_o liberty_n and_o power_n in_o one_o god_n moment_n which_o i_o have_v not_o be_v able_a to_o purchase_v and_o obtain_v of_o myself_o by_o the_o multitude_n of_o those_o great_a diligence_n which_o i_o have_v use_v many_o year_n in_o order_n to_o this_o end_n though_o yet_o i_o have_v employ_v myself_o so_o earnest_o upon_o this_o attempt_n that_o it_o have_v cost_v i_o a_o good_a part_n of_o my_o health_n but_o now_o this_o have_v be_v wrought_v and_o grant_v by_o he_o who_o be_v the_o omnipotent_a and_o true_a lord_n of_o all_o creature_n it_o put_v i_o not_o even_o to_o the_o least_o pain_n or_o trouble_v at_o all_o the_o five_o and_o twenty_o chapter_n she_o treat_v here_o of_o the_o way_n and_o manner_n of_o understand_v those_o word_n or_o speech_n which_o almighty_a god_n be_v please_v to_o utter_v to_o the_o soul_n though_o yet_o without_o hear_v any_o voice_n or_o sound_n and_o of_o some_o error_n or_o abuse_n which_o may_v happen_v herein_o and_o how_o the_o right_a may_v be_v know_v from_o the_o wrong_n 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say_a church_n but_o if_o she_o once_o come_v so_o far_o as_o but_o to_o shake_v or_o waver_v even_o in_o one_o single_a thought_n against_o this_o or_o entertain_v herself_o so_o far_o as_o to_o say_v but_o now_o if_o god_n himself_o say_v thus_o to_o i_o as_o he_o have_v say_v such_o other_o thing_n to_o saint_n this_o may_v also_o be_v true_a i_o say_v not_o that_o she_o believe_v it_o but_o that_o the_o devil_n begin_v to_o tempt_v she_o by_o this_o motion_n and_o that_o she_o be_v content_a to_o continue_v herself_o a_o little_a therein_o a_o body_n may_v see_v already_o that_o this_o be_v stark_o naught_o but_o for_o my_o part_n i_o believe_v that_o many_o time_n even_o these_o other_o first_o motion_n will_v hardly_o ever_o come_v so_o far_o as_o even_o but_o to_o set_v upon_o such_o a_o soul_n if_o she_o be_v already_o so_o strong_a as_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v wont_a to_o have_v make_v such_o as_o to_o who_o he_o use_v to_o impart_v these_o favour_n for_o i_o think_v she_o may_v be_v able_a to_o tear_v those_o devil_n even_o to_o fitter_n whensoever_o there_o may_v be_v question_n of_o any_o one_o single_a little_a truth_n which_o the_o church_n hold_v i_o say_v that_o if_o the_o soul_n do_v not_o find_v such_o a_o strength_n as_o this_o in_o herself_o and_o that_o the_o devotion_n or_o vision_n which_o she_o have_v do_v not_o assist_v and_o help_v her-on_a therein_o let_v she_o not_o hold_v any_o such_o vision_n for_o safe_a because_o though_o the_o hurt_n of_o it_o be_v not_o instant_o understand_v it_o may_v perhaps_o grow_v by_o little_a and_o little_a to_o be_v great_a for_o to_o the_o uttermost_a of_o what_o i_o can_v discern_v and_o know_v by_o experience_n the_o reputation_n and_o credit_n that_o such_o a_o thing_n be_v of_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n be_v settle_v and_o assure_v in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o it_o also_o go_v in_o conformity_n to_o holy_a scripture_n and_o when_o it_o shall_v be_v find_v to_o vary_v from_o this_o rule_n though_o it_o be_v never_o so_o little_a i_o think_v i_o shall_v be_v then_o much_o more_o sure_a without_o comparison_n that_o it_o be_v of_o the_o devil_n than_o now_o i_o have_v assurance_n that_o it_o be_v of_o almighty_a god_n how_o great_a soever_o i_o may_v find_v that_o assurance_n to_o be_v for_o in_o that_o case_n we_o shall_v have_v no_o need_n at_o all_o to_o go_v in_o search_n after_o sign_n nor_o to_o inquire_v of_o what_o spirit_n it_o be_v since_o this_o be_v so_o clear_a a_o sign_n to_o make_v we_o believe_v that_o it_o be_v of_o the_o devil_n that_o if_o all_o the_o world_n shall_v endeavour_v to_o assure_v i_o that_o it_o be_v of_o god_n i_o will_v not_o believe_v it_o
and_o so_o make_v those_o wretch_n tremble_v for_o already_o we_o know_v well_o enough_o that_o the_o devil_n be_v not_o able_a to_o stir_v unless_o our_o lord_n permit_v he_o what_o then_o may_v be_v the_o ground_n of_o all_o these_o disorder_n it_o be_v certain_o that_o i_o be_o more_o afraid_a of_o they_o who_o be_v so_o fright_v by_o the_o devil_n then_o of_o the_o devil_n himself_o for_o he_o be_v utter_o unable_a to_o do_v i_o hurt_v whereas_o these_o other_o especial_o if_o they_o be_v ghostly_a father_n may_v put_v soul_n to_o much_o disquiet_n and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o have_v pass_v some_o year_n through_o so_o great_a trouble_n that_o now_o i_o be_o even_o amaze_v to_o consider_v how_o i_o have_v be_v able_a to_o endure_v it_o but_o bless_v be_v our_o lord_n who_o have_v assist_v i_o in_o so_o good_a earnest_n amen_n the_o six_o and_o twenty_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o discourse_n and_o go_v relate_v and_o declare_v such_o thing_n as_o happen_v to_o she_o which_o make_v her_o loose_a fear_n and_o to_o be_v strengthen_v in_o a_o beleif_n that_o it_o be_v a_o good_a spirit_n which_o speak_v to_o she_o i_o esteem_v the_o courage_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v vouchsafe_v to_o give_v i_o against_o all_o the_o devil_n of_o hell_n to_o be_v one_o of_o the_o great_a favour_n which_o it_o have_v please_v his_o divine_a majesty_n to_o do_v i_o since_o for_o a_o soul_n to_o go_v cowardly_o on_o and_o to_o be_v fearful_a indeed_o of_o any_o thing_n but_o only_o to_o offend_v the_o majesty_n of_o almighty_a god_n be_v a_o extreme_a inconvenience_n for_o since_o we_o have_v a_o king_n who_o be_v omnipotent_a and_o so_o great_a a_o lord_n that_o he_o can_v do_v what_o he_o list_n and_o who_o bring_v all_o thing_n into_o subjection_n under_o himself_o there_o be_v no_o fear_n at_o all_o to_o be_v have_v and_o therefore_o as_o i_o be_v say_v we_o have_v no_o cause_n to_o doubt_v so_o that_o we_o walk_v sincere_o and_o with_o purity_n of_o conscience_n 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surcharge_v even_o with_o a_o thousand_o misery_n but_o yet_o still_o we_o have_v this_o comfort_n that_o almighty_a god_n do_v not_o proceed_v with_o such_o rigour_n as_o man_n do_v for_o he_o know_v and_o consider_v our_o frailty_n and_o the_o soul_n have_v way_n of_o understanding_n and_o find_v in_o itself_o by_o great_a conjecture_n whether_o real_o she_o love_v his_o divine_a majesty_n or_o no_o for_o in_o such_o as_o arrive_v once_o to_o this_o state_n our_o love_n to_o he_o be_v not_o now_o a_o kind_n of_o dissemble_a or_o disguise_v love_n as_o it_o use_v sometime_o to_o be_v in_o the_o beginning_n but_o it_o be_v accompany_v with_o so_o great_a impulse_n and_o even_o impetuosity_n of_o desire_n to_o see_v almighty_a god_n as_o i_o shall_v afterward_o declare_v or_o rather_o as_o i_o have_v declare_v already_o and_o all_o thing_n be_v wont_a to_o afflict_v all_o thing_n to_o weary_a &_o tire_v and_o all_o thing_n do_v even_o torment_v she_o unless_o it_o be_v only_a god_n or_o 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of_o the_o mind_n and_o not_o suffer_v it_o to_o pass_v on_o and_o out_o so_o far_o like_o some_o pot_n comparison_n which_o do_v first_o so_o boil_v up_o and_o then_o so_o boile-ove_a as_o that_o the_o broth_n or_o water_n be_v quite_o spend_v and_o lose_v because_o no_o discretion_n be_v use_v in_o the_o quantity_n of_o wood_n or_o coal_n which_o be_v put_v under_o it_o and_o thus_o let_v they_o procure_v to_o appease_v and_o slake_v the_o flame_n which_o be_v feed_v by_o that_o vehement_a fire_n with_o sweet_a and_o gentle_a tear_n but_o not_o with_o such_o as_o be_v force_v or_o painful_a as_o they_o be_v wont_n to_o be_v which_o proceed_v from_o such_o a_o vehement_a kind_n of_o sense_n as_o i_o have_v former_o express_v for_o such_o be_v wont_a to_o be_v of_o very_o great_a inconvenience_n to_o the_o party_n myself_o use_v to_o have_v such_o as_o these_o in_o my_o beginning_n and_o they_o will_v ever_o leaué_fw-fr my_o head_n in_o such_o disorder_n and_o my_o spirit_n in_o such_o a_o weariness_n and_o weakness_n that_o i_o be_v not_o able_a sometime_o for_o a_o day_n yea_o and_o sometime_o for_o more_o day_n than_o one_o to_o return_v to_o the_o exercise_n of_o prayer_n so_o that_o advice_n we_o be_v to_o use_v great_a discretion_n in_o those_o beginning_n of_o we_o to_o the_o end_n that_o all_o may_v go_v on_o with_o much_o sweetness_n and_o that_o the_o spirit_n may_v be_v teach_v the_o way_n of_o operate_a and_o exercise_v itself_o inward_o and_o we_o must_v diligent_o procure_v that_o the_o exterior_a may_v be_v avoid_v as_o much_o as_o we_o can_v but_o now_o these_o other_o impetuosity_n and_o impulse_n be_v of_o a_o most_o different_a kind_n and_o condition_n for_o here_o it_o be_v not_o we_o who_o bring-in_a the_o wood_n but_z the_o fire_n seem_v to_o be_v make_v already_o to_o our_o hand_n and_o instant_o we_o be_v ready_a to_o cast_v ourselves_o into_o it_o that_o so_o we_o may_v be_v whole_o consume_v the_o soul_n do_v not_o here_o procure_v to_o 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pain_n that_o he_o give_v which_o make_v she_o not_o to_o know_v even_o what_o to_o do_v with_o herself_o but_o yet_o this_o very_a pain_n be_v such_o a_o savoury_a kind_n of_o thing_n withal_o that_o there_o be_v no_o delight_n in_o this_o whole_a world_n which_o be_v able_a to_o give_v she_o more_o gust_n for_o the_o soul_n as_o i_o be_v say_v will_v always_o be_v very_o glad_a if_o she_o may_v be_v ever_o die_v of_o this_o disease_n this_o pain_n and_o glory_n together_o do_v carry_v my_o understanding_n into_o such_o such_o distraction_n and_o disorder_n that_o i_o know_v not_o how_o they_o both_o can_v possible_o consist_v together_o o_o what_o a_o thing_n it_o be_v to_o see_v a_o soul_n so_o wound_v for_o it_o be_v just_a in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o one_o may_v very_o well_o affirm_v it_o to_o be_v wound_v and_o that_o for_o a_o most_o excellent_a cause_n for_o now_o she_o see_v very_o clear_o that_o she_o herself_o do_v contribute_v no_o part_n of_o the_o reason_n why_o this_o love_n shall_v grow_v but_o only_o it_o seem_v that_o some_o little_a spark_n fall_v down_o upon_o she_o from_o that_o immense_a love_n of_o our_o lord_n which_o set_v she_o so_o total_o on_o fire_n o_o how_o often_o do_v i_o remember_v that_o verse_n of_o david_n whensoever_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o this_o case_n quem_fw-la admodum_fw-la desider_v at_o ceruus_fw-la ad_fw-la fontes_fw-la aquarum_fw-la ita_fw-la desiderat_fw-la anima_fw-la mea_fw-la ad_fw-la te_fw-la deus_fw-la meus_fw-la as_o the_o hart_n desire_v to_o plunge_v himself_o into_o the_o spring_n of_o water_n so_o do_v my_o soul_n desire_v thou_o o_o my_o god_n for_o real_o i_o think_v that_o this_o be_v even_o literal_o fulfil_v then_o upon_o myself_o whensoever_o this_o come_v not_o upon_o i_o with_o great_a violence_n i_o think_v i_o can_v a_o little_a appease_v my_o soul_n and_o at_o least_o she_o be_v prove_v to_o find_v some_o remedy_n for_o as_o for_o the_o perform_n of_o certain_a pennance_n she_o find_v 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the_o remedy_n of_o her_o misery_n at_o the_o hand_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n though_o yet_o for_o her_o part_n she_o know_v not_o how_o to_o find_v any_o at_o all_o but_o only_o in_o death_n for_o by_o that_o mean_n she_o hope_v entire_o to_o enjoy_v her_o sovereign_n good_n at_o other_o time_n this_o pain_n fall_v upon_o a_o soul_n so_o fierce_o that_o neither_o this_o nor_o any_o thing_n else_o can_v be_v do_v for_o it_o peirce_v the_o whole_a body_n through_o and_o through_o and_o neither_o can_v the_o hand_n or_o foot_n be_v stir_v nay_o if_o we_o chance_v to_o be_v on_o foot_n and_o may_v happen_v sometime_o to_o sit_v down_o we_o do_v it_o like_o a_o kind_n of_o transport_v creature_n nor_o can_v the_o soul_n so_o much_o as_o breath_n but_o only_o utter_v certain_a profound_a lament_v sigh_n which_o yet_o be_v not_o great_a in_o show_n because_o she_o be_v not_o able_a to_o express_v they_o though_o yet_o they_o be_v very_o great_a in_o themselves_o it_o please_v our_o bless_a 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away_o as_o much_o as_o it_o have_v touch_v within_o i_o and_o leave_v all_o that_o which_o remain_v whole_o inflame_v with_o a_o great_a love_n of_o almighty_a god_n the_o pain_n of_o it_o be_v so_o excessive_a that_o it_o force_v i_o to_o utter_v those_o groan_n and_o the_o suavitie_n which_o that_o extremity_n of_o pain_n give_v be_v also_o so_o very_o excessive_a that_o there_o be_v no_o desire_v at_o all_o to_o be_v ride_v of_o it_o nor_o can_v the_o soul_n then_o receive_v any_o contentment_n at_o all_o in_o less_o than_o god_n almighty_a himself_o this_o be_v no_o corporal_n but_o a_o spiritual_a pain_n though_o yet_o the_o body_n do_v not_o fail_v to_o participate_v some_o part_n thereof_o yea_o and_o that_o not_o a_o little_a and_o it_o be_v such_o a_o dear_a delightful_a kind_n of_o intercourse_n which_o pass_v here_o between_o the_o soul_n and_o almighty_a god_n as_o i_o beseech_v he_o of_o his_o infinite_a goodness_n that_o he_o will_v give_v some_o touch_n or_o taste_v 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glorious_a s._n francis_n to_o the_o place_n where_o she_o be_v and_o she_o declare_v the_o great_a temptation_n and_o inward_a trouble_n which_o sometime_o she_o endure_v but_o now_o when_o i_o come_v to_o observe_v the_o little_a or_o nothing_o which_o i_o be_v able_a to_o effect_v towards_o the_o endure_a of_o those_o so_o great_a impulse_n or_o impetuosity_n whereof_o i_o be_v speak_v i_o grow_v to_o be_v in_o great_a fear_n of_o have_v they_o for_o it_o be_v pass_v any_o power_n of_o i_o to_o understand_v how_o pain_n and_o joy_n may_v be_v possible_o able_a to_o consist_v together_o that_o corporal_a pain_n and_o spiritual_a joy_n can_v be_v compatible_a i_o know_v well_o may_v be_v possible_a enough_o but_o that_o so_o excessive_a a_o spiritual_a pain_n shall_v be_v compatible_a with_o so_o excessive_a a_o spiritual_a gust_n do_v put_v i_o half_o as_o it_o be_v out_o of_o my_o wit_n and_o still_o i_o do_v not_o give-ove_a to_o procure_v to_o resist_v the_o arrival_n thereof_o though_o yet_o i_o have_v so_o little_a power_n that_o way_n that_o sometime_o i_o grow_v weary_a even_o of_o the_o endeavour_n i_o defend_v myself_o by_o the_o cross_n and_o so_o procure_v to_o help_v myself_o by_o that_o mean_n from_o he_o who_o give_v we_o all_o defence_n and_o succour_n by_o the_o same_o cross_n i_o see_v that_o no_o creature_n understand_v i_o and_o this_o i_o understand_v very_o clear_o though_o yet_o i_o dare_v not_o say_v so_o to_o any_o body_n but_o my_o ghostly_a father_n for_o that_o indeed_o may_v have_v authorise_v they_o to_o say_v true_o that_o i_o want_v humility_n but_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v to_o recover_v i_o from_o a_o great_a part_n of_o my_o trouble_n yea_o and_o even_o at_o that_o time_n from_o it_o all_o by_o bring_v that_o bless_a man_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n thither_o of_o who_o i_o make_v mention_v before_o when_o i_o speak_v somewhat_o of_o his_o great_a penance_n and_o now_o i_o also_o remember_v that_o among_o other_o thing_n i_o have_v be_v inform_v that_o for_o twenty_o year_n together_o he_o have_v wear_v upon_o his_o bare_a body_n a_o certain_a garment_n of_o latin_a in_o form_n of_o a_o hair_n cloth_n this_o man_n be_v the_o author_n of_o certain_a little_a treatise_n concern_v prayer_n write_v in_o spanish_a and_o they_o be_v now_o in_o the_o hand_n of_o many_o for_o he_o as_o be_v a_o person_n who_o have_v accustom_v himself_o much_o to_o that_o holy_a exercise_n write_v very_o profitable_o thereof_o for_o they_o who_o live_v in_o the_o observance_n of_o the_o first_o rule_n of_o the_o bless_a s._n francis_n according_a to_o the_o full_a rigour_n of_o the_o same_o when_o therefore_o a_o certain_a widow_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v else_o where_o who_o be_v a_o great_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o a_o particular_a friend_n of_o i_o come_v to_o know_v that_o so_o great_a a_o man_n be_v there_o with_o i_o and_o know_v also_o the_o great_a necessity_n wherein_o i_o be_v as_o have_v be_v the_o witness_n of_o my_o affliction_n and_o have_v comfort_v i_o in_o several_a occasion_n for_o her_o faith_n be_v ever_o so_o great_a that_o she_o can_v never_o in_o fine_a believe_v but_o that_o it_o be_v the_o spirit_n of_o almighty_a god_n which_o all_o the_o rest_n will_v needs_o have_v to_o be_v the_o devil_n and_o consider_v also_o that_o she_o be_v a_o person_n of_o very_a good_a understanding_n and_o of_o great_a secrecy_n withal_o and_o one_o to_o who_o our_o lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o do_v great_a favour_n in_o prayer_n his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v to_o give_v her_o knowledge_n of_o those_o thing_n whereof_o they_o who_o be_v learned_a be_v whole_o ignorant_a my_o ghostly_a father_n than_o give_v i_o leave_v that_o i_o may_v ease_v myself_o in_o some_o thing_n with_o she_o for_o she_o be_v capable_a many_o way_n to_o understand_v they_o for_o sometime_o it_o have_v come_v to_o her_o turn_n to_o enjoy_v even_o some_o of_o those_o very_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v also_o vouchsafe_v to_o afford_v i_o together_o with_o certain_a advertisment_n which_o he_o have_v also_o give_v she_o for_o the_o good_a of_o her_o soul_n but_o now_o as_o soon_o as_o fray_n pedro_n come_v to_o know_v of_o my_o design_n he_o do_v without_o say_v any_o thing_n to_o i_o desire_v and_o get_v leave_v of_o my_o provincial_n that_o i_o may_v remain_v with_o she_o in_o her_o house_n for_o a_o matter_n of_o some_o eight_o day_n and_o so_o both_o there_o and_o in_o several_a church_n i_o speak_v with_o he_o diverse_a time_n in_o that_o first_o occasion_n of_o my_o be_v there_o for_o i_o communicate_v my_o affair_n with_o he_o also_o afterward_o in_o sundry_a occasion_n at_o which_o time_n i_o give_v he_o likewise_o account_v of_o my_o life_n though_o yet_o but_o in_o a_o summarie_a way_n and_o of_o the_o manner_n of_o my_o proceed_n in_o prayer_n and_o this_o with_o the_o great_a claritie_n which_o i_o can_v possible_o use_v for_o this_o property_n i_o ever_o have_v to_o treat_v with_o all_o claritie_n and_o truth_n with_o they_o to_o who_o i_o impart_v my_o soul_n yea_o and_o i_o still_o desire_v that_o even_o the_o first_o motion_n of_o my_o hart_n may_v be_v make_v know_v to_o they_o and_o as_o for_o such_o thing_n as_o may_v be_v subject_a any_o way_n to_o suspicion_n or_o doubt_v i_o still_o be_v wont_a to_o argue_v they_o proceed_v against_o myself_o with_o the_o strong_a reason_n that_o i_o can_v bring_v so_o that_o i_o impart_v my_o soul_n to_o this_o father_n without_o any_o manner_n of_o duplicitie_n or_o disguise_n at_o all_o and_o i_o find_v that_o he_o understand_v i_o almost_o even_o at_o
the_o very_a first_o by_o experience_n which_o be_v indeed_o the_o only_o thing_n whereof_o i_o have_v need_v at_o that_o time_n for_o then_o i_o can_v not_o give_v myself_o so_o well_o to_o be_v understand_v as_o now_o i_o can_v at_o least_o not_o so_o far_o as_o to_o express_v it_o home_o for_o since_o that_o time_n it_o have_v please_v our_o lord_n to_o enable_v i_o to_o understand_v and_o to_o declare_v to_o i_o the_o favour_n which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n do_v i_o but_o former_o it_o be_v necessary_a enough_o for_o i_o to_o find_v a_o person_n who_o have_v pass_v through_o the_o same_o thing_n by_o experience_n if_o i_o will_v hope_v that_o he_o shall_v perfect_o understand_v i_o and_o declare_v to_o i_o what_o every_o thing_n be_v now_o this_o father_n give_v i_o very_o great_a light_n for_o i_o can_v not_o by_o any_o mean_n understand_v what_o that_o can_v be_v which_o concern_v those_o vision_n which_o be_v not_o imaginary_a or_o represent_v by_o the_o imagination_n and_o i_o think_v also_o that_o i_o understand_v as_o little_a of_o those_o other_o which_o i_o see_v with_o the_o only_o eye_n of_o my_o soul_n for_o as_o i_o have_v say_v before_o those_o only_a which_o be_v visible_a by_o our_o corporeal_a eye_n seem_v to_o i_o to_o be_v indeed_o of_o importance_n and_o of_o these_o i_o have_v receive_v none_o at_o all_o but_o now_o this_o holy_a man_n give_v i_o light_n in_o all_o and_o declare_v it_o to_o i_o and_o require_v i_o not_o to_o be_v trouble_v any_o long_o but_o that_o i_o shall_v bless_v and_o praise_v almighty_a god_n and_o that_o i_o be_v to_o be_v very_o sure_a that_o these_o be_v true_a effect_n of_o his_o spirit_n and_o that_o although_o it_o be_v no_o article_n of_o faith_n yet_o nothing_o can_v be_v more_o certain_o true_a nor_o which_o i_o may_v more_o firm_o believe_v and_o he_o comfort_v himself_o very_o much_o with_o i_o and_o show_v i_o all_o courtesy_n and_o favour_n and_o ever_o after_o he_o have_v great_a care_n of_o i_o and_o he_o communicate_v diverse_a of_o his_o affair_n and_o business_n with_o i_o and_o find_v that_o i_o have_v the_o selfsame_a desire_n of_o those_o thing_n which_o he_o have_v already_o put_v in_o practice_n for_o indeed_o in_o as_o much_o as_o concern_v desire_n our_o lord_n have_v give_v they_o to_o i_o with_o great_a resolution_n and_o find_v also_o that_o i_o be_v so_o full_a of_o courage_n in_o order_n to_o that_o end_n he_o take_v particular_a contentment_n to_o treat_v with_o i_o for_o whensoever_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v to_o bring_v one_o to_o this_o state_n there_o be_v truth_n no_o joy_n or_o comfort_n which_o can_v be_v equal_a to_o the_o meeting_n with_o some_o such_o other_o person_n as_o to_o who_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o vouchsafe_v some_o beginning_n thereof_o for_o then_o perhaps_o i_o have_v not_o much_o more_o than_o a_o beginning_n by_o what_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o conceive_v and_o i_o beseech_v our_o bless_a lord_n that_o i_o have_v it_o vet_n but_o as_o for_o he_o he_o have_v extraordinary_a compassion_n of_o i_o and_o tell_v i_o that_o one_o of_o the_o very_o great_a affliction_n of_o this_o life_n be_v that_o which_o i_o have_v endure_v namely_o the_o opposition_n and_o contradiction_n of_o good_a man_n and_o that_o still_o i_o will_v be_v a_o little_a obnoxious_a in_o the_o same_o kind_n because_o i_o must_v ever_o be_v in_o need_n of_o help_n and_o that_o he_o fear_v there_o be_v no_o body_n in_o that_o city_n who_o will_v understand_v i_o but_o that_o he_o will_v speak_v with_o my_o ghostly_a father_n &_o to_o one_o also_o of_o those_o other_o who_o be_v wont_a to_o give_v i_o most_o discomfort_n which_o be_v that_o marry_v cavallier_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v before_o for_o he_o as_o be_v a_o person_n who_o love_v i_o perhaps_o more_o than_o the_o rest_n do_v continual_o make_v war_n upon_o i_o and_o he_o be_v a_o man_n of_o a_o tender_a and_o holy_a soul_n and_o consider_v how_o late_o before_o he_o have_v find_v how_o wicked_a i_o be_v he_o know_v not_o how_o to_o make_v himself_o sure_a that_o all_o be_v right_a but_o now_o the_o holle_fw-ge man_n fray_n pedro_n grow_v to_o talk_v with_o those_o two_o person_n afforesayd_a and_o he_o show_v they_o cause_n and_o reason_n why_o they_o shall_v both_o quiet_a and_o assure_v themselves_o and_o disturb_v i_o no_o more_o as_o for_o my_o ghostly_a father_n there_o be_v no_o very_a great_a need_n of_o much_o diligence_n but_o as_o for_o the_o cavalier_n it_o suffice_v not_o for_o he_o to_o hear_v what_o fray_n pedro_n say_v though_o yet_o it_o be_v a_o mean_n to_o keep_v he_o from_o fright_v i_o so_o very_o much_o as_o he_o have_v do_v before_o but_o then_o we_o resolve_v together_o that_o i_o shall_v write_v to_o fray_n pedro_n of_o all_o that_o which_o may_v succeed_v to_o i_o afterward_o and_o to_o recommend_v one_o another_o much_o to_o almighty_a god_n for_o so_o great_a be_v his_o humility_n as_o to_o make_v some_o little_a account_n of_o the_o prayer_n of_o this_o miserable_a creature_n which_o give_v i_o confusion_n enough_o but_o he_o leave_v i_o with_o extreme_a comfort_n and_o gust_n and_o direct_v i_o to_o proceed_v secure_o on_o with_o my_o prayer_n and_o to_o make_v no_o doubt_n at_o all_o but_o that_o it_o be_v of_o almighty_a god_n and_o that_o whensoever_o i_o may_v be_v in_o any_o doubt_n for_o my_o own_o great_a security_n i_o shall_v impart_v whatsoever_o occur_v to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n and_o that_o then_o i_o shall_v hold_v myself_o for_o safe_a but_o yet_o notwithstanding_o all_o this_o counsel_n i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o be_v entire_o secure_a because_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o guide_v i_o still_o by_o the_o way_n of_o fear_n which_o sometime_o make_v i_o apt_a to_o doubt_v that_o the_o devil_n have_v a_o hand_n in_o the_o business_n whensoever_o they_o will_v needs_o tell_v i_o that_o it_o be_v so_o and_o thus_o indeed_o upon_o the_o whole_a matter_n no_o creature_n be_v able_a to_o give_v i_o either_o so_o much_o security_n or_o so_o much_o fear_n as_o to_o make_v i_o yield_v more_o credit_n to_o either_o of_o they_o than_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o infuse_v into_o my_o soul_n so_o that_o howsoever_o this_o holy_a man_n do_v help_v i_o both_o to_o quiet_a and_o comfort_n yet_o do_v i_o not_o so_o entire_o believe_v he_o as_o to_o remain_v without_o any_o fear_n at_o all_o especial_o when_o our_o lord_n come_v sometime_o to_o leave_v i_o in_o certain_a trouble_n of_o mind_n which_o i_o shall_v instant_o relate_v yet_o howsoever_o as_o i_o be_v say_v my_o comfort_n be_v then_o much_o increase_v but_o i_o can_v not_o then_o satisfy_v myself_o with_o give_v humble_a thanks_n enough_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o to_o that_o glorious_a father_n of_o i_o s._n joseph_n who_o as_o i_o be_v apt_a to_o think_v have_v bring_v fray_n pedro_n thither_o for_o he_o be_v commissarie_n general_n of_o the_o custodia_fw-la of_o s._n joseph_n to_o who_o as_o also_o to_o our_o b._n lady_n i_o use_v to_o recommend_v myself_o much_o now_o it_o have_v happen_v to_o i_o former_o sometime_o yea_o and_o so_o it_o do_v also_o yet_o though_o not_o so_o often_o to_o find_v myself_o in_o so_o excessive_a trouble_n and_o affliction_n of_o mind_n together_o with_o fierce_a infirmity_n affliction_n and_o torment_n of_o body_n that_o i_o know_v not_o which_o way_n to_o turn_v myself_o at_o other_o time_n i_o have_v be_v subject_a to_o corporal_a misery_n which_o be_v more_o grievous_a but_o yet_o not_o find_v myself_o subject_a then_o to_o the_o sense_n of_o such_o sorrow_n of_o mind_n as_o now_o i_o have_v i_o pass_v with_o much_o alacrity_n through_o they_o all_o but_o whensoever_o they_o of_o both_o kind_n come_v together_o the_o misery_n of_o it_o be_v so_o great_a as_o that_o it_o give_v i_o affliction_n enough_o and_o as_o for_o those_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o i_o then_o forget_v they_o all_o and_o there_o only_o remain_v but_o such_o a_o kind_n of_o memory_n of_o they_o as_o of_o a_o thing_n which_o i_o have_v dream_v and_o this_o serve_v but_o to_o give_v i_o so_o much_o the_o more_o pain_n for_o the_o understanding_n grow_v in_o those_o case_n to_o be_v all_o obscure_v and_o dull_v in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o it_o make_v i_o enter_v into_o a_o thousand_o suspicion_n trouble_n and_o doubt_n as_o if_o i_o have_v not_o former_o understand_v thing_n well_o and_o that_o perhaps_o i_o follow_v fancy_n in_o stead_n of_o truth_n and_o that_o it_o may_v have_v be_v misery_n enough_o for_o i_o to_o be_v deceive_v myself_o without_o seek_v
in_o it_o as_o i_o be_o not_o well_o able_a to_o express_v for_o it_o be_v a_o interior_a delight_n which_o comfort_v my_o whole_a soul_n and_o this_o be_v no_o mere_a imagination_n or_o fancy_n nor_o a_o thing_n which_o have_v happen_v to_o i_o only_o once_o but_o very_o often_o and_o when_o i_o observe_v it_o with_o most_o attention_n i_o think_v it_o be_v as_o if_o a_o body_n who_o be_v much_o trouble_v with_o heat_n and_o thirst_n shall_v drink_v a_o draught_n of_o very_a cold_a water_n which_o shall_v refresh_v he_o even_o to_o his_o heart_n desire_n and_o heerupon_o i_o also_o consider_v that_o all_o those_o thing_n which_o be_v ordain_v by_o the_o church_n be_v of_o great_a importance_n and_o moment_n and_o it_o be_v matter_n even_o of_o much_o regalo_n to_o i_o that_o those_o word_n which_o the_o consolation_n church_n use_v and_o say_v shall_v have_v the_o power_n to_o make_v holie-water_n become_v of_o so_o very_o different_a a_o condition_n from_o such_o other_o as_o be_v not_o hallow_v by_o the_o church_n but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n when_o my_o torment_n will_v not_o cease_v i_o tell_v they_o so_o who_o be_v present_a that_o so_o they_o may_v not_o laugh_v at_o i_o and_o call_v for_o holie-water_n they_o bring_v i_o some_o and_o sprinkle_v i_o with_o it_o but_o it_o do_v i_o no_o good_a upon_o that_o i_o sprinkle_v some_o towards_o the_o place_n where_o the_o ill_a spirit_n be_v and_o then_o he_o go_v instant_o away_o and_o i_o grow_v as_o instant_o well_o as_o if_o they_o have_v stroak_v my_o hurt_n off_o from_o i_o with_o their_o hand_n save_v that_o i_o find_v myself_o as_o weary_a as_o if_o i_o have_v be_v cudgel_v extreme_o but_o now_o it_o do_v i_o a_o very_a great_a deal_n of_o good_a to_o find_v that_o when_o our_o lord_n give_v the_o devil_n leave_v he_o be_v able_a to_o do_v such_o a_o deal_n of_o mischief_n to_o a_o creature_n both_o in_o body_n and_o soul_n even_o when_o they_o be_v not_o he_o or_o absolute_o in_o his_o power_n for_o then_o what_o will_v he_o be_v able_a to_o do_v when_o they_o shall_v be_v whole_o leave_v to_o his_o dispose_n this_o give_v i_o also_o a_o very_a great_a desire_n to_o free_v myself_o from_o so_o ill_a company_n as_o that_o of_o the_o devil_n be_v at_o another_o time_n and_o that_o be_v late_o the_o selfsame_a thing_n happen_v to_o i_o though_o yet_o it_o last_v not_o long_o but_o i_o be_v then_o alone_o and_o then_o i_o also_o call_v for_o holie-water_n and_o two_o religious_a woman_n who_o be_v very_o well_o worth_a the_o believe_v and_o will_v by_o no_o mean_n be_v induce_v to_o tell_v a_o untruth_n came-in_a thither_o after_o the_o devil_n be_v depart_v from_o thence_o and_o declare_v that_o they_o feel_v a_o filthy_a stink_n as_o of_o brimstone_n for_o my_o part_n i_o smell_v it_o not_o but_o they_o say_v it_o continue_v so_o long_o that_o other_o might_n also_o perceive_v it_o another_o time_n i_o be_v in_o the_o choir_n and_o i_o come_v into_o a_o very_a great_a depth_n of_o recollection_n and_o i_o go_v away_o from_o thence_o for_o fear_n lest_o somewhat_o may_v be_v observe_v but_o the_o religious_a in_o the_o choir_n who_o be_v near_o the_o place_n where_o i_o be_v hear_v a_o noise_n of_o very_a great_a blow_n which_o be_v give_v and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o also_o hear_v those_o spirit_n talk_v together_o close_o to_o i_o as_o if_o they_o have_v be_v agree_v about_o some_o business_n of_o they_o though_o i_o know_v not_o what_o in_o particular_a it_o be_v for_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o such_o depth_n of_o prayer_n that_o i_o understand_v they_o not_o in_o express_a manner_n neither_o yet_o have_v i_o any_o fear_n of_o they_o at_o all_o but_o these_o thing_n do_v ordinary_o not_o arrive_v but_o when_o some_o soul_n or_o other_o do_v receive_v benefit_n upon_o my_o persuasion_n and_o advise_v and_o it_o be_v certain_a that_o a_o thing_n happen_v to_o i_o once_o which_o i_o shall_v now_o relate_v and_o there_o be_v many_o witness_n of_o it_o &_o in_o 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a_o letter_n to_o i_o declare_v that_o he_o be_v reform_v so_o far_o already_o as_o that_o some_o good_a time_n have_v incur_v wherein_o he_o have_v return_v no_o more_o to_o that_o sin_n but_o yet_o that_o the_o torment_n be_v so_o great_a by_o the_o temptation_n which_o solicit_v he_o that_o way_n that_o he_o account_v himself_o to_o be_v almost_o as_o it_o be_v in_o a_o kind_n of_o hell_n so_o extreme_o be_v he_o put_v to_o suffer_v by_o it_o and_o therefore_o that_o i_o must_v help_v he_o still_o with_o almighty_a god_n upon_o this_o i_o recommend_v he_o again_o to_o my_o sister_n the_o religious_a of_o our_o monastery_n by_o mean_n of_o who_o prayer_n it_o seem_v our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o this_o favour_n for_o they_o take_v the_o matter_n very_o much_o to_o hart_n this_o man_n be_v a_o person_n of_o who_o no_o one_o can_v guess_v who_o it_o be_v and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v the_o divine_a majesty_n to_o appease_v those_o torment_n and_o temptation_n to_o which_o he_o be_v subject_a and_o that_o those_o devil_n may_v be_v suffer_v to_o torment_v i_o in_o his_o place_n provide_v always_o that_o i_o may_v not_o offend_v our_o bless_a lord_n in_o any_o thing_n by_o it_o and_o it_o be_v very_o certain_o true_a that_o short_o after_o this_o i_o endure_v most_o grievous_a torment_n for_o the_o space_n of_o a_o month_n and_o these_o two_o particular_n which_o i_o have_v now_o relate_v do_v happen_v then_o but_o our_o lord_n in_o the_o mean_a time_n be_v please_v that_o they_o shall_v leave_v to_o afflict_v that_o person_n any_o more_o for_o so_o man_n send_v i_o word_n because_o i_o have_v already_o signify_v to_o they_o what_o have_v occur_v to_o i_o during_o that_o month_n and_o as_o for_o he_o his_o soul_n get_v strength_n daily_o and_o he_o grow_v to_o be_v absolute_o free_a nor_o can_v he_o satisfy_v himself_o with_o give_v thanks_n not_o only_o to_o our_o bless_a lord_n but_o even_o also_o to_o i_o as_o if_o i_o have_v do_v somewhat_o therein_o but_o the_o truth_n be_v that_o the_o opinion_n which_o he_o have_v that_o our_o lord_n do_v sometime_o show_v i_o favour_n be_v of_o benefit_n to_o he_o for_o he_o say_v that_o whensoever_o he_o find_v himself_o to_o be_v much_o assault_v and_o press_v he_o use_v to_o read_v my_o letter_n and_o that_o present_o thereupon_o he_o shall_v find_v himself_o ride_v of_o the_o temptation_n he_o grow_v to_o be_v much_o amaze_v to_o understand_v of_o what_o i_o have_v suffer_v and_o how_o also_o himself_o come_v to_o be_v free_a yea_o and_o even_o i_o come_v also_o to_o wonder_v at_o it_o
which_o be_v but_o a_o kind_n of_o shadow_n of_o such_o thing_n as_o be_v suffer_v in_o that_o place_n she_o begin_v also_o to_o declare_v the_o way_n and_o manner_n how_o that_o monastery_n be_v found_v in_o auila_n under_o the_o name_n of_o s._n joseph_n after_o a_o long_a time_n when_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v already_o do_v i_o many_o of_o those_o favour_n which_o i_o have_v here_o relate_v as_o other_o also_o which_o be_v very_o great_a i_o find_v one_o day_n whilst_o i_o be_v in_o prayer_n though_o i_o can_v not_o tell_v how_o that_o i_o be_v place_v in_o hell_n and_o i_o understand_v that_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v see_v the_o place_n which_o the_o party_n devil_n have_v prepare_v for_o i_o and_o which_o i_o have_v deserve_v for_o my_o she_o sin_n this_o last_v but_o a_o very_a little_a space_n of_o time_n but_o yet_o if_o i_o shall_v live_v many_o year_n i_o hold_v it_o for_o a_o impossible_a thing_n that_o ever_o i_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o forget_v it_o the_o entry_n thereof_o seem_v body_n to_o i_o to_o be_v after_o the_o manner_n of_o a_o long_a and_o straight_o lane_n or_o rather_o as_o if_o it_o have_v be_v a_o low_a narrow_a long_a and_o dark_a oven_n the_o ground_n seem_v to_o be_v as_o if_o it_o have_v be_v like_o water_n all_o thicken_a with_o dirt_n and_o it_o be_v both_o very_a filthy_a and_o of_o a_o most_o pestilential_a smell_n and_o have_v a_o multitude_n of_o loathsome_a vermin_n as_o fly_n and_o worm_n and_o such_o other_o ugly_a creature_n in_o it_o at_o the_o end_n of_o it_o there_o be_v a_o certain_a hollow_a place_n as_o if_o it_o have_v be_v a_o kind_n of_o a_o little_a press_n in_o a_o wall_n into_o which_o i_o see_v myself_o crowd_v with_o great_a constraint_n now_o all_o that_o be_v even_o delightful_a to_o the_o sight_n in_o comparison_n of_o what_o i_o feel_v there_o and_o this_o which_o i_o have_v say_v of_o it_o already_o i_o also_o find_v to_o be_v very_o imperfect_o describe_v but_o as_o for_o the_o 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place_n beside_o my_o know_v with_o all_o this_o that_o no_o part_n of_o it_o be_v ever_o to_o cease_v but_o to_o continue_v without_o ever_o have_v a_o end_n and_o yet_o even_o all_o this_o which_o i_o have_v say_v be_v also_o nothing_o in_o comparison_n of_o that_o continual_a agonize_a of_o the_o soul_n that_o press_v that_o stifle_v which_o be_v so_o very_o sensible_a a_o affliction_n together_o with_o that_o desperate_a kind_n of_o discontent_n and_o disgust_v and_o repine_v which_o i_o be_o no_o way_n able_a to_o express_v for_o to_o say_v that_o it_o be_v a_o continual_a tear_v of_o the_o soul_n into_o fitter_n be_v to_o say_v little_a since_o in_o that_o case_n it_o seem_v that_o it_o must_v be_v some_o other_o body_n who_o tear_n it_o but_o in_o this_o the_o soul_n itself_o be_v the_o very_a executioner_n which_o even_o tear_v itself_o there_o be_v beside_o all_o that_o another_o strange_a ingredient_n which_o be_v that_o interior_a kind_n of_o fire_n and_o that_o unspeakable_a despair_n upon_o those_o intolerable_a torment_n and_o sorrow_n i_o see_v not_o who_o it_o be_v that_o inflict_v these_o thing_n but_o i_o think_v i_o find_v myself_o to_o be_v slice_v and_o mince_a and_o press_v and_o burn_v all_o at_o once_o and_o i_o say_v and_o say_v again_o that_o that_o interior_a fire_n and_o despair_n be_v the_o very_o worst_a of_o it_o all_o whilst_o i_o be_v in_o this_o most_o pestilential_a place_n and_o that_o without_o any_o possibility_n of_o ever_o so_o much_o as_o once_o hope_v for_o any_o comfort_n at_o all_o there_o be_v no_o such_o thing_n to_o be_v think_v of_o as_o sit_v or_o extend_v myself_o nor_o be_v there_o any_o place_n void_a to_o receive_v one_o though_o yet_o they_o have_v put_v i_o into_o that_o thing_n which_o be_v like_o a_o hole_n in_o a_o wall_n because_o even_o those_o very_a wall_n which_o be_v also_o most_o hideous_a to_o the_o sight_n do_v even_o press_v their_o very_a self_n close_o towards_o and_o upon_o one_o another_o and_o every_o thing_n there_o help_v to_o choke_v there_o be_v also_o no_o light_n in_o that_o place_n but_o all_o be_v gross_a and_o even_o palpable_a darkness_n for_o my_o part_n i_o understand_v not_o how_o this_o can_v be_v for_o with_o have_v no_o light_n at_o all_o yet_o all_o that_o which_o may_v be_v able_a to_o give_v any_o vexation_n to_o the_o sight_n be_v discern_v and_o see_v our_o lord_n be_v not_o please_v at_o that_o time_n that_o i_o shall_v see_v any_o more_o of_o hell_n but_o afterward_o i_o have_v another_o vision_n of_o most_o fearful_a thing_n and_o of_o the_o punishment_n of_o certain_a particular_a vice_n and_o forasmuch_o as_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o discern_v and_o judge_v of_o by_o the_o sight_n these_o seem_v to_o be_v even_o more_o hideous_a than_o the_o former_a but_o yet_o in_o regard_n that_o i_o feel_v not_o the_o pain_n of_o it_o they_o make_v i_o not_o so_o much_o afraid_a for_o in_o this_o other_o present_a vision_n our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v real_o feel_v those_o torment_n and_o affliction_n in_o spirit_n even_o as_o if_o my_o very_a body_n have_v be_v suffer_v they_o there_o favour_n i_o know_v not_o how_o all_o this_o can_v be_v but_o yet_o i_o understand_v well_o enough_o that_o it_o be_v a_o very_a great_a favour_n and_o that_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v discern_v as_o even_o by_o the_o very_a sight_n of_o my_o own_o eye_n from_o whence_o his_o great_a mercy_n have_v deliver_v i_o for_o it_o be_v nothing_o to_o have_v hear_v talk_n of_o it_o nor_o that_o at_o other_o time_n i_o have_v consider_v several_a sort_n of_o torment_n though_o yet_o i_o do_v it_o not_o often_o for_o i_o like_v not_o that_o very_o well_o in_o regard_n of_o the_o fear_v it_o give_v i_o nor_o yet_o that_o the_o devil_n be_v wont_a to_o tear_v man_n in_o piece_n with_o hot_a pincer_n nor_o any_o other_o thing_n whereof_o i_o have_v read_v for_o all_z in_o fine_a be_v nothing_o if_o once_o it_o be_v compare_v to_o this_o since_o this_o be_v whole_o another_o kind_n of_o thing_n and_o the_o torment_n of_o this_o world_n compare_v with_o this_o be_v no_o more_o than_o a_o mere_a picture_n in_o comparison_n of_o the_o life_n the_o very_a burn_a which_o be_v feel_v in_o this_o world_n be_v but_o a_o very_a trifle_n in_o respect_n of_o that_o other_o for_o my_o part_n i_o remain_v astonish_v and_o amaze_v at_o it_o and_o so_o i_o be_o even_o whilst_o i_o be_o write_v these_o thing_n though_o it_o happen_v to_o i_o six_o year_n ago_o and_o it_o be_v a_o most_o real_a truth_n that_o even_o now_o in_o the_o very_a place_n where_o i_o be_o but_o think_v of_o they_o the_o natural_a heat_n of_o my_o body_n begin_v to_o fail_v i_o even_o for_o very_a fear_n not_o do_v i_o ever_o remember_v what_o pass_v then_o but_o that_o all_o my_o affliction_n and_o trouble_n and_o whatsoever_o can_v be_v suffer_v in_o this_o life_n seem_v nothing_o to_o i_o and_o so_o also_o i_o think_v it_o seem_v that_o in_o part_n we_o complain_v here_o without_o reason_n and_o therefore_o i_o say_v again_o that_o this_o be_v one_o of_o the_o great_a favour_n that_o i_o ever_o receive_v in_o my_o whole_a life_n at_o the_o hand_n of_o our_o lord_n for_o it_o favour_n have_v benefit_v i_o very_o much_o both_o towards_o the_o make_v i_o loose_v all_o fear_n and_o care_n concern_v the_o tribulation_n and_o contradiction_n of_o this_o life_n as_o also_o to_o give_v i_o strength_n towards_o the_o endure_a they_o and_o final_o to_o render_v thanks_n to_o our_o bless_a lord_n for_o deliver_v i_o as_o now_o i_o
our_o lord_n seem_v to_o have_v forward_v much_o in_o the_o way_n of_o spirit_n for_o he_o make_v they_o runne-on_a apace_o and_o not_o go_v foot_n by_o foot_n and_o his_o manner_n be_v to_o untie_v they_o sound_o and_o total_o from_o all_o creature_n and_o to_o put_v they_o to_o the_o exercise_n and_o practice_v of_o mortification_n for_o in_o this_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v impart_v a_o most_o particular_a talon_n to_o he_o as_o he_o have_v also_o do_v in_o many_o other_o thing_n now_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o begin_v to_o communicate_v my_o affair_n with_o he_o i_o instant_o understand_v his_o stile_n and_o way_n of_o proceed_v and_o i_o find_v that_o he_o have_v a_o holy_a and_o pure_a soul_n and_o that_o our_o lord_n have_v give_v he_o a_o particular_a talent_n in_o the_o try_v and_o know_v of_o spirit_n so_o that_o i_o be_v comfort_v both_o much_o and_o very_o soon_o after_o i_o have_v once_o communicate_v with_o he_o and_o our_o bless_a lord_n begin_v again_o to_o press_v i_o towards_o a_o treat_v of_o the_o business_n of_o the_o monastery_n and_o that_o i_o shall_v declare_v both_o to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n and_o to_o this_o rectour_n the_o many_o ground_n and_o reason_n why_o they_o be_v not_o to_o dissuade_v and_o divert_v i_o from_o it_o and_o some_o of_o they_o make_v they_o hearty_o afraid_a to_o do_v it_o for_o this_o father_n rectour_n never_o do_v so_o much_o as_o doubt_v but_o that_o it_o be_v the_o spirit_n of_o almighty_a god_n because_o he_o have_v behold_v and_o consider_v the_o effect_n with_o very_o great_a study_n and_o care_n in_o fine_a after_o the_o consideration_n of_o many_o thing_n they_o dare_v not_o presume_v to_o divert_v i_o and_o my_o ghostly_a father_n do_v again_o give_v i_o leave_v to_o use_v all_o the_o endeavour_n i_o can_v and_o yet_o i_o be_v able_a to_o see_v very_o well_o what_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o trouble_n it_o will_v give_v i_o in_o regard_n i_o be_v so_o utter_o alone_a and_o have_v very_o little_a power_n to_o effect_v any_o thing_n but_o we_o agree_v that_o it_o shall_v be_v carry_v with_o great_a privacy_n and_o therefore_o i_o procure_v that_o a_o certain_a sister_n of_o i_o who_o live_v elsewhere_a shall_v buy_v and_o build_v the_o house_n as_o if_o it_o be_v for_o herself_o and_o that_o it_o shall_v be_v do_v with_o money_n which_o our_o lord_n find_v mean_n by_o certain_a way_n wherewith_o to_o pay_v for_o it_o but_o it_o will_v be_v a_o long_a business_n to_o tell_v you_o how_o his_o divine_a majesty_n go_v provide_v it_o for_o as_o for_o i_o i_o desire_v to_o be_v very_o sure_a to_o do_v nothing_o which_o may_v be_v against_o obedience_n but_o i_o be_v not_o then_o to_o learn_v that_o if_o i_o tell_v any_o thing_n to_o the_o superior_n of_o my_o order_n the_o whole_a business_n will_v be_v lose_v as_o it_o be_v before_o yea_o and_o that_o if_o i_o do_v so_o now_o it_o will_v fallout_a to_o be_v worse_o in_o the_o point_n of_o get_v money_n for_o make_v the_o bargain_n for_o a_o 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all_o respect_n without_o money_n and_o without_o know_v where_o to_o get_v any_o whereby_o either_o the_o breve_fw-la or_o any_o thing_n else_o may_v be_v have_v what_o can_v i_o do_v o_o lord_n but_o be_v once_o in_o a_o certain_a necessity_n and_o not_o know_v which_o way_n to_o turn_v myself_o and_o not_o be_v able_a to_o pay_v the_o workman_n s._n joseph_n my_o true_a father_n and_o patron_n appear_v to_o i_o and_o tell_v i_o that_o money_n will_v not_o be_v want_v to_o i_o and_o therefore_o that_o i_o shall_v make_v the_o agreement_n and_o so_o i_o do_v even_o when_o i_o have_v no_o money_n at_o all_o and_o afterward_o our_o bless_a lord_n provide_v it_o by_o so_o strange_a way_n that_o they_o who_o hear_v of_o it_o be_v amaze_v but_o now_o i_o think_v the_o house_n show_v to_o be_v very_o little_a and_o indeed_o it_o be_v so_o and_o in_o that_o extremity_n that_o it_o seem_v not_o capable_a of_o be_v ever_o able_a to_o be_v a_o monastery_n and_o i_o have_v a_o good_a mind_n to_o buy_v another_o house_n but_o neither_o have_v i_o wherewithal_o to_o do_v it_o nor_o otherwise_o any_o mean_n to_o procure_v it_o though_o there_o be_v yet_o a_o very_a little_a one_o join_v to_o it_o whereof_o a_o church_n may_v be_v make_v but_o after_o i_o have_v communicate_v one_o day_n our_o lord_n say_v thus_o to_o i_o i_o have_v already_o will_v thou_o to_o begin_v as_o thou_o may_v and_o then_o after_o the_o manner_n of_o exclamation_n he_o say_v thus_o also_o to_o i_o o_o the_o tovetousue_v of_o the_o race_n of_o mankind_n which_o think_v that_o it_o shall_v want_n even_o earth_n upon_o which_o to_o tread_v how_o often_o have_v i_o sleep_v in_o the_o open_a air_n as_o not_o know_v where_o to_o lay_v my_o head_n upon_o this_o i_o be_v amaze_v and_o find_v that_o he_o have_v reason_n and_o so_o i_o go_v to_o that_o little_a house_n and_o order_v it_o and_o though_o it_o be_v very_o little_a yet_o it_o be_v just_a fit_a to_o make_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o monastery_n and_o i_o make_v it_o no_o more_o my_o business_n to_o compass_v a_o large_a seat_n but_o procure_v to_o build_v upon_o that_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o it_o may_v be_v fit_a to_o be_v inhabit_v all_o course_n and_o rude_a and_o without_o any_o other_o mystery_n but_o only_o that_o it_o may_v not_o be_v hurtful_a in_o point_n of_o health_n and_o so_o it_o shall_v ever_o remain_v upon_o the_o day_n of_o s._n clare_n i_o go_v to_o receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n she_o appear_v to_o i_o in_o very_o great_a beauty_n and_o bid_v i_o be_v of_o a_o good_a courage_n and_o go_v on_o in_o the_o work_n which_o i_o have_v begin_v and_o that_o she_o will_v assist_v i_o and_o this_o have_v prove_v so_o true_a that_o a_o monastery_n of_o religious_a woman_n of_o her_o order_n which_o be_v near_o this_o do_v help_n to_o sustain_v and_o feed_v we_o and_o which_o yet_o be_v more_o she_o have_v by_o little_a and_o little_a bring_v this_o desire_n of_o i_o to_o such_o perfection_n that_o the_o selfsame_a poverty_n which_o that_o bless_a saint_n establish_v in_o her_o house_n be_v exercise_v also_o in_o this_o and_o we_o live_v of_o alm_n which_o point_n have_v cost_v i_o no_o small_a trouble_n in_o get_v it_o confirm_v by_o his_o holiness_n and_o to_o be_v further_o also_o establish_v in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o no_o innovation_n may_v be_v make_v not_o the_o house_n be_v ever_o capable_a of_o rent_n and_o now_o do_v our_o bless_a lord_n even_o more_o than_o this_o and_o perhaps_o the_o same_o may_v grow_v by_o the_o intercession_n of_o this_o bless_a saint_n for_o his_o divine_a majesty_n provide_v we_o with_o all_o thing_n necessary_a in_o most_o complete_a manner_n without_o our_o ever_o ask_v any_o thing_n of_o any_o creature_n let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o all_o thing_n amen_n but_o i_o be_v about_o that_o time_n upon_o the_o day_n of_o the_o assumption_n of_o our_o b._n lady_n in_o a_o certain_a monastery_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n dominick_n order_n i_o be_v consider_v the_o many_o sin_n of_o my_o former_a time_n which_o i_o have_v confess_v in_o that_o house_n and_o the_o accident_n of_o my_o wicked_a life_n and_o sudden_o there_o come_v so_o great_a a_o rapt_v upon_o i_o that_o it_o take_v i_o in_o effect_n whole_o out_o of_o myself_o i_o than_o sit_v down_o and_o yet_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o i_o be_v not_o able_a either_o to_o hear_v mass_n or_o so_o much_o as_o to_o see_v the_o elevation_n for_o which_o i_o remain_v afterward_o with_o some_o scruple_n now_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o
to_o find_v that_o they_o resolve_v to_o carry_v i_o away_o as_o conceave_a that_o there_o be_v some_o goodness_n in_o i_o for_o consider_v how_o wicked_a i_o know_v myself_o to_o be_v i_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n endure_v it_o but_o so_o recommend_v myself_o much_o to_o almighty_a god_n i_o remain_v during_o all_o the_o time_n of_o matin_n or_o at_o least_o the_o far_o large_a part_n thereof_o in_o a_o very_a great_a rapt_v our_o lord_n declare_v to_o i_o then_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o fail_v to_o go_v and_o that_o i_o be_v not_o to_o harken_v to_o the_o opinion_n of_o other_o for_o few_o will_v think_v without_o rashness_n that_o they_o can_v advise_v i_o to_o go_v but_o that_o howsoever_o the_o journey_n may_v be_v of_o much_o trouble_n to_o i_o yet_o that_o he_o will_v be_v great_o serve_v thereby_o and_o that_o it_o will_v be_v also_o very_o convenient_a that_o i_o shall_v absent_v myself_o from_o hence_o till_o the_o breve_fw-la be_v come_v because_o the_o devil_n have_v a_o great_a plot_n provide_v against_o the_o time_n when_o the_o provincial_n shall_v be_v there_o but_o yet_o that_o i_o must_v be_v afraid_a of_o nothing_o for_o that_o in_o fine_a he_o shall_v assist_v i_o in_o the_o business_n upon_o this_o i_o be_v much_o comfort_v and_o encourage_v and_o i_o relate_v the_o whole_a story_n to_o the_o rectour_n who_o tell_v i_o that_o i_o must_v by_o no_o mean_n forbear_v to_o go_v but_o other_o say_v that_o i_o must_v not_o do_v it_o by_o any_o mean_n and_o that_o it_o be_v but_o a_o invention_n of_o the_o devil_n to_o the_o end_n that_o some_o mischief_n may_v happen_v to_o i_o and_o that_o my_o best_a way_n will_v be_v to_o reply_v upon_o the_o provincial_n but_o i_o obey_v the_o rectour_n and_o consider_v also_o what_o have_v pass_v in_o prayer_n i_o begin_v my_o journey_n without_o fear_n but_o yet_o not_o without_o extreme_a confusion_n to_o consider_v under_o what_o title_n and_o occasion_n they_o call_v for_o i_o and_o find_v how_o much_o they_o be_v deceive_v it_o make_v i_o even_o importune_v our_o bless_a lord_n so_o much_o the_o more_o not_o to_o forsake_v i_o now_o it_o comfort_v i_o extreme_o that_o there_o be_v in_o that_o place_n whither_o i_o be_v go_v a_o college_n of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n and_o that_o i_o may_v be_v subject_a to_o that_o wherein_o they_o shall_v direct_v i_o when_o i_o be_v there_o for_o by_o this_o mean_n i_o conceive_v that_o i_o be_v to_o be_v in_o a_o kind_n of_o safety_n but_o when_o i_o arrive_v there_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v that_o the_o lady_n shall_v receive_v so_o much_o comfort_n that_o her_o amendment_n be_v quick_o see_v for_o she_o be_v every_o day_n better_a and_o better_o and_o this_o be_v the_o more_o esteem_v because_o as_o i_o say_v before_o the_o pain_n wherein_o she_o be_v do_v hold_v she_o in_o great_a difficulty_n and_o straits_n and_o it_o be_v likely_a that_o our_o lord_n grant_v her_o ease_n at_o the_o instance_n of_o the_o many_o prayer_n which_o certain_a holy_a person_n who_o i_o know_v do_v make_v in_o my_o behalf_n that_o so_o all_o may_v succeed_v happy_o to_o i_o she_o have_v also_o even_o in_o herself_o a_o great_a fear_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o be_v so_o full_a of_o virtue_n and_o goodness_n that_o her_o much_o christianity_n and_o piety_n supply_v for_o that_o which_o be_v want_v in_o i_o now_o she_o grow_v into_o a_o great_a love_n of_o i_o and_o i_o remain_v not_o a_o whitt_n in_o her_o debt_n when_o i_o see_v her_o goodness_n but_o yet_o in_o effect_n even_o all_o be_v trouble_v to_o i_o there_o for_o the_o regalo_n which_o they_o give_v i_o be_v no_o less_o than_o so_o many_o torment_n to_o i_o and_o their_o make_v so_o much_o account_n of_o i_o as_o they_o show_v do_v put_v i_o into_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o fear_n i_o therefore_o carry_v my_o soul_n so_o restrain_v and_o so_o retire_v within_o myself_o that_o i_o dare_v not_o be_v any_o way_n careless_a in_o that_o kind_n and_o so_o also_o be_v not_o our_o lord_n unmindful_a of_o i_o for_o he_o do_v i_o whilst_o i_o be_v there_o most_o excessive_a favour_n and_o they_o endue_v i_o with_o so_o true_a and_o so_o great_a liberty_n of_o spirit_n as_o to_o make_v i_o undervalue_v &_o despise_v all_o those_o testimony_n of_o estimation_n &_o honour_n which_o i_o find_v there_o &_o the_o more_o the_o more_o and_o so_o as_o that_o i_o fail_v not_o to_o treat_v with_o those_o lady_n who_o be_v so_o great_a with_o as_o much_o liberty_n as_o if_o i_o have_v be_v equal_a to_o they_o whereas_o yet_o they_o be_v of_o such_o quality_n that_o i_o may_v without_o any_o dishonour_n at_o all_o to_o myself_o have_v be_v even_o their_o domestic_a servant_n i_o draw_v a_o great_a advantage_n and_o benefit_n from_o thence_o and_o so_o i_o tell_v she_o i_o find_v that_o she_o be_v subject_a to_o some_o weakness_n and_o passion_n as_o myself_o be_o and_o how_o little_a she_o be_v in_o reason_n to_o esteem_v her_o greatness_n and_o power_n which_o still_o the_o more_o it_o be_v so_o much_o the_o more_o trouble_n and_o care_n it_o draw_v after_o it_o and_o they_o be_v fain_o to_o take_v such_o thought_n for_o live_v in_o such_o a_o form_n and_o method_n as_o be_v fit_a forsooth_o for_o their_o greatness_n and_o rank_n that_o upon_o the_o matter_n it_o scarce_o give_v they_o leave_v to_o live_v for_o they_o eat_v out_o of_o time_n and_o out_o of_o order_n because_o all_o forsooth_o must_v go_v in_o conformity_n to_o the_o state_n which_o they_o hold_v and_o not_o with_o any_o regard_n to_o their_o constitution_n and_o health_n nay_o sometime_o they_o must_v feed_v upon_o such_o meat_n as_o be_v more_o agreeable_a to_o their_o greatness_n then_o to_o their_o gust_n and_o so_o as_o that_o for_o my_o part_n i_o whole_o abhor_v so_o much_o as_o even_o to_o desire_v to_o be_v a_o great_a lady_n god_n deliver_v i_o from_o such_o ill-favoured_a gravity_n and_o greatness_n as_o this_o for_o though_o the_o lady_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v be_v one_o of_o the_o great_a of_o this_o kingdom_n and_o i_o believe_v there_o be_v few_o more_o humble_a and_o more_o affable_a than_o she_o yet_o real_o i_o have_v and_o have_v compassion_n of_o she_o to_o see_v how_o she_o pass_v many_o time_n not_o in_o conformity_n even_o so_o much_o as_o with_o her_o own_o inclination_n but_o to_o comply_v with_o her_o condition_n for_o even_o in_o point_n of_o servant_n there_o be_v very_o little_a trust_n to_o be_v repose_v and_o though_o she_o have_v they_o good_a yet_o must_v she_o not_o speak_v more_o confident_o and_o kind_o to_o one_o of_o they_o then_o to_o another_o and_o if_o she_o do_v whosoever_o be_v most_o favour_a by_o she_o must_v be_v sure_a to_o be_v less_o belove_v by_o other_o in_o fine_a this_o greatness_n be_v a_o great_a subjection_n and_o indeed_o one_o of_o the_o great_a lie_n which_o ever_o the_o world_n can_v tell_v be_v when_o it_o call_v such_o person_n as_o these_o lord_n and_o lady_n for_o as_o for_o i_o they_o all_o seem_v to_o be_v no_o other_o thing_n then_o even_o slave_n and_o that_o a_o thousand_o time_n over_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v at_o that_o time_n whilst_o i_o remain_v with_o that_o lady_n in_o her_o house_n that_o the_o domestics_n also_o there_o improve_v much_o in_o the_o service_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n though_o yet_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v not_o free_a from_o some_o trouble_n yea_o and_o certain_a envy_n also_o which_o be_v express_v to_o my_o disadvantage_n by_o certain_a person_n in_o regard_n of_o the_o great_a affection_n which_o that_o lady_n bear_v i_o and_o perhaps_o they_o be_v so_o ill_o advise_v as_o to_o imagine_v that_o i_o have_v some_o thought_n of_o interest_n by_o what_o i_o do_v but_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o permit_v that_o they_o shall_v give_v i_o some_o few_o little_a trouble_n both_o in_o this_o kind_n and_o also_o in_o other_o lest_o else_o i_o may_v perhaps_o have_v grow_v to_o be_v intoxicate_v by_o the_o regalo_n which_o be_v vouchsafe_v to_o i_o on_o the_o other_o side_n but_o he_o be_v please_v to_o fetch_v i_o out_o of_o all_o those_o accident_n and_o adventure_n with_o the_o advantage_n and_o improvement_n of_o my_o own_o soul_n whilst_o yet_o i_o remain_v there_o a_o certain_a religious_a man_n and_o a_o very_a eminent_a person_n with_o who_o i_o have_v treat_v sometime_o though_o it_o be_v main_a year_n before_o do_v chance_n to_o arrive_v in_o that_o place_n and_o i_o be_v one_o day_n at_o mass_n in_o a_o monastery_n of_o his_o order_n which_o be_v near_o to_o the_o place_n where_o i_o keep_v be_v take_v with_o a_o
which_o howsoever_o i_o understand_v they_o not_o myself_o do_v yet_o fall_v out_o so_o fit_o for_o he_o that_o he_o be_v even_o amaze_v and_o our_o lord_n dispose_v he_o to_o believe_v that_o they_o come_v from_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o i_o on_o the_o other_o side_n though_o i_o be_v that_o poor_a miserable_a creature_n which_o i_o be_o do_v humble_o and_o earnest_o beseech_v our_o lord_n that_o he_o will_v perfect_o and_o entire_o convert_v that_o man_n to_o himself_o and_o make_v he_o abhor_v all_o the_o contentment_n and_o creature_n of_o this_o life_n and_o so_o for_o which_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o he_o have_v be_v please_v to_o do_v it_o and_o that_o in_o so_o very_o perfect_a a_o manner_n that_o whensoever_o this_o servant_n of_o he_o be_v speak_v to_o i_o it_o make_v i_o in_o effect_n turn_v half_a fool_n and_o if_o i_o have_v not_o see_v it_o with_o my_o very_a eye_n i_o shall_v hold_v it_o for_o a_o doubtful_a thing_n how_o favour_n can_v possible_o be_v heaped-up_a so_o very_o high_a upon_o a_o creature_n in_o so_o short_a a_o time_n and_o shall_v hold_v he_o so_o busy_o and_o continual_o employ_v upon_o almighty_a god_n that_o already_o he_o seem_v not_o to_o live_v for_o the_o use_n of_o any_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n i_o humble_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n to_o keep_v he_o in_o his_o protection_n still_o for_o certain_o if_o he_o proceed_v after_o this_o rate_n as_o i_o hope_v in_o our_o lord_n he_o will_v his_o spirit_n be_v so_o deep_o root_v in_o the_o knowledge_n of_o himself_o he_o will_v grow_v to_o be_v of_o the_o most_o eminent_a servant_n he_o have_v and_o will_v be_v able_a to_o do_v good_a to_o many_o soul_n for_o he_o have_v get_v great_a experience_n concern_v thing_n of_o spirit_n in_o a_o very_a short_a time_n and_o these_o be_v gift_n which_o almighty_a god_n impart_v when_o and_o how_o he_o will_v without_o any_o precise_a respect_n either_o to_o the_o time_n which_o have_v be_v spend_v or_o else_o to_o 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proceed_v and_o profit_n in_o the_o way_n of_o spirit_n our_o lord_n have_v already_o manifest_v some_o thing_n to_o the_o world_n by_o real_a proof_n i_o have_v also_o hear_v former_o of_o he_o but_o they_o be_v many_o instance_n which_o concern_v the_o person_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v before_o and_o one_o of_o they_o i_o will_v here_o recount_v i_o be_v once_o with_o he_o in_o a_o locutorie_a or_o speaking-place_n of_o a_o monastery_n and_o so_o very_o great_a be_v the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n which_o my_o soul_n and_o spirit_n understand_v to_o be_v even_o burn_v in_o his_o that_o i_o be_v even_o as_o it_o be_v
that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v with_o myself_o o_o that_o we_o will_v look_v with_o attention_n upon_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n for_o every_o body_n will_v then_o be_v quick_o able_a to_o find_v by_o experience_n how_o little_a he_o be_v to_o lodge_v either_o his_o contentment_n or_o discontentment_n upon_o it_o it_o be_v most_o certain_a in_o my_o opinion_n that_o this_o be_v one_o of_o the_o feirce_v kind_n of_o fit_n of_o affliction_n that_o ever_o i_o have_v endure_v in_o my_o whole_a life_n and_o it_o seem_v as_o if_o my_o very_a spirit_n have_v half_o prophesy_v how_o much_o do_v still_o rest_v behind_o to_o be_v endure_v though_o yet_o that_o arrive_v not_o so_o far_o as_o this_o if_o it_o have_v continue_v but_o now_o our_o bless_a lord_n do_v not_o permit_v this_o poor_a servant_n of_o he_o to_o suffer_v long_o nor_o do_v he_o ever_o fail_v to_o succour_v i_o in_o my_o tribulation_n nor_o do_v he_o also_o in_o this_o for_o now_o he_o give_v i_o a_o little_a objection_n light_n wherewith_o to_o see_v that_o all_o this_o be_v of_o the_o devil_n and_o that_o i_o may_v discern_v the_o truth_n and_o that_o the_o whole_a business_n be_v but_o to_o put_v i_o into_o a_o fright_n by_o lie_n and_o so_o i_o come_v by_o degree_n to_o call_v to_o mind_n and_o to_o recover_v the_o great_a resolution_n which_o i_o have_v former_o conceive_v towards_o the_o service_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n as_o also_o my_o desire_n to_o suffer_v for_o he_o and_o so_o i_o grow_v also_o to_o consider_v that_o if_o real_o i_o intend_v to_o fulfil_v they_o i_o be_v not_o to_o busy_v myself_o about_o procure_v rest_n and_o ease_n but_o if_o i_o will_v endure_v affliction_n that_o this_o be_v the_o true_a way_n to_o merit_v and_o that_o if_o i_o will_v goe-through_a with_o they_o for_o the_o service_n of_o almighty_a god_n they_o will_v be_v in_o stead_n of_o purgatory_n for_o i_o &_o of_o what_o be_v i_o afraid_a &_o that_o since_o i_o desire_v affliction_n these_o which_o be_v offer_v now_o will_v be_v very_o fit_a &_o good_a and_o that_o where_o the_o great_a contradiction_n be_v feel_v the_o rich_a gain_n will_v be_v find_v and_o why_o shall_v my_o hart_n fail_v i_o for_o his_o service_n to_o who_o i_o owe_v so_o much_o and_o by_o these_o and_o other_o consideration_n and_o employ_v all_o the_o courage_n i_o have_v i_o make_v a_o promise_n in_o presence_n of_o the_o b._n sacrament_n to_o do_v all_o the_o very_a uttermost_a that_o i_o can_v to_o get_v leave_n to_o come_v to_o this_o monastery_n as_o also_o if_o i_o may_v do_v it_o with_o safe_a conscience_n to_o promise_n clausure_n but_o now_o at_o my_o resolve_v upon_o this_o the_o devil_n flee_v instant_o away_o and_o leave_v i_o very_o quiet_a and_o content_v and_o so_o i_o have_v remain_v ever_o since_o and_o all_o that_o which_o be_v observe_v in_o this_o house_n either_o by_o way_n of_o enclosure_n or_o penance_n in_o any_o kind_n have_v make_v itself_o both_o very_a delightful_a and_o seem_v very_o little_a and_o the_o contentment_n on_o the_o other_o side_n be_v so_o extreme_o great_a that_o i_o be_o think_v several_a time_n if_o i_o be_v able_a to_o find_v any_o thing_n in_o the_o whole_a world_n which_o can_v be_v of_o so_o much_o gust_n to_o i_o as_o this_o i_o know_v not_o also_o whether_o perhaps_o even_o this_o may_v not_o be_v the_o true_a reason_n why_o i_o enjoy_v better_a health_n now_o then_o ever_o or_o else_o that_o perhaps_o our_o lord_n will_v have_v it_o so_o because_o perhaps_o there_o may_v be_v some_o necessary_a use_n thereof_o and_o because_o it_o be_v but_o reason_n that_o i_o shall_v also_o do_v thosething_n which_o be_v perform_v by_o all_o the_o rest_n and_o therefore_o that_o he_o be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o so_o much_o comfort_n as_o to_o be_v able_a to_o do_v it_o though_o yet_o it_o be_v with_o some_o little_a trouble_n but_o certain_o all_o they_o who_o see_v it_o and_o be_v privy_a to_o the_o great_a infirmity_n to_o which_o i_o be_o subject_a be_v amaze_v at_o it_o bless_a be_v our_o lord_n who_o give_v it_o all_o and_o have_v power_n enough_o wherewith_o to_o do_v it_o but_o i_o fail_v not_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n to_o be_v very_o well_o weary_v with_o such_o a_o stiff_a contention_n and_o strife_n as_o this_o though_o yet_o i_o laugh_v at_o the_o devil_n for_o i_o clear_o see_v it_o be_v he_o and_o i_o conceive_v that_o our_o bless_a lord_n will_v permit_v it_o because_o i_o never_o know_v till_o then_o what_o it_o be_v to_o be_v in_o any_o disgust_n for_o be_v a_o religious_a woman_n nor_o do_v i_o ever_o find_v any_o during_o the_o space_n of_o eight_o and_o twenty_o year_n and_o more_o that_o i_o have_v be_v one_o but_o now_o his_o divine_a majesty_n permit_v it_o to_o come_v upon_o i_o to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v the_o better_o understand_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o it_o have_v please_v our_o lord_n to_o do_v i_o in_o that_o state_n yea_o and_o the_o torment_n from_o which_o he_o have_v free_v i_o as_o also_o to_o the_o end_n that_o if_o afterward_o i_o see_v any_o one_o who_o shall_v be_v afflict_v in_o the_o same_o kind_n i_o may_v not_o be_v fright_v at_o it_o but_o may_v both_o have_v compassion_n of_o she_o and_o know_v also_o how_o to_o give_v her_o comfort_n if_o there_o shall_v be_v cause_n but_o now_o have_v pass_v this_o brunt_n and_o be_v desirous_a to_o rest_v a_o little_a when_o i_o shall_v have_v dine_v for_o in_o all_o the_o night_n before_o i_o have_v take_v none_o as_o also_o in_o many_o other_o night_n i_o have_v not_o fail_v of_o care_n and_o trouble_n enough_o when_o yet_o i_o be_v also_o tire_v out_o in_o the_o day_n as_o they_o know_v very_o well_o what_o pass_v not_o only_o in_o the_o monastery_n but_o in_o the_o city_n there_o be_v grow_v to_o be_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o noise_n and_o disquiet_v upon_o the_o occasion_n which_o have_v be_v former_o touch_v yea_o and_o there_o seem_v to_o be_v some_o colour_n for_o the_o same_o just_o then_o the_o prioress_n require_v i_o to_o be_v call_v and_o that_o i_o must_v go_v to_o she_o at_o the_o instant_n and_o meet_v with_o her_o commandment_n i_o leave_v my_o religious_a full_a of_o pain_n and_o care_n and_o so_o instant_o go_v to_o she_o but_o i_o than_o perceive_v well_o that_o i_o be_v to_o be_v sure_a of_o trouble_n enough_o though_o yet_o the_o house_n be_v then_o dispatch_v i_o be_v not_o in_o very_a much_o pain_n howsoever_o i_o betake_v myself_o to_o prayer_n beseech_v our_o bless_a lord_n to_o be_v good_a to_o i_o and_o beg_v of_o my_o father_n s._n joseph_n that_o he_o will_v bring_v i_o back_o again_o to_o his_o house_n and_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o offered-up_a all_o that_o which_o i_o may_v chance_v to_o endure_v for_o his_o sake_n and_o i_o be_v to_o be_v very_o well_o please_v if_o it_o fall_v out_o that_o i_o may_v suffer_v any_o thing_n for_o he_o or_o be_v able_a to_o serve_v he_o and_o so_o i_o go_v away_o with_o opinion_n that_o they_o will_v instant_o commit_v i_o to_o prison_n whereby_o i_o yet_o conceive_v that_o they_o will_v so_o have_v do_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o pleasure_n for_o then_o i_o shall_v not_o have_v be_v vex_v with_o their_o talk_n and_o i_o shall_v have_v enjoy_v a_o little_a solitude_n whereof_o i_o be_v in_o very_o great_a want_n for_o they_o have_v even_o as_o it_o be_v grind_v i_o to_o dust_n by_o force_v i_o to_o converse_v so_o long_o with_o such_o a_o multitude_n of_o people_n but_o be_v then_o arrive_v and_o have_v give_v account_n of_o myself_o to_o the_o superior_a she_o be_v a_o little_a appease_v and_o they_o all_o agree_v to_o send_v i_o to_o the_o provincial_n and_o so_o the_o cause_n be_v to_o depend_v before_o he_o and_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o be_v come_v thither_o for_o judgement_n i_o find_v myself_o with_o much_o contentment_n to_o see_v that_o i_o be_v suffer_v somewhat_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n for_o as_o for_o have_v do_v any_o thing_n either_o against_o his_o divine_a majesty_n or_o yet_o against_o the_o order_n i_o conceive_v not_o that_o i_o have_v offend_v but_o rather_o have_v endeavour_v to_o augment_v it_o to_o the_o uttermost_a of_o my_o power_n and_o will_v be_v glad_a with_o my_o whole_a hart_n to_o die_v for_o it_o for_o all_o my_o desire_n be_v that_o it_o may_v be_v fulfil_v according_a to_o the_o uttermost_a perfection_n but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o call_v to_o mind_v the_o sentence_n which_o be_v pass_v upon_o christ_n our_o lord_n and_o i_o acknowledge_v what_o a_o nothing_o this_o be_v
and_o i_o believe_v it_o have_v be_v more_o than_o a_o month_n wherein_o i_o do_v almost_o nothing_o else_o but_o beg_v of_o almighty_a god_n that_o he_o will_v bring_v this_o soul_n back_o to_o himself_o and_o be_v in_o prayer_n one_o day_n i_o see_v a_o devil_n hard_a by_o i_o with_o certain_a paper_n in_o his_o hand_n which_o he_o be_v tear_v and_o he_o seem_v to_o be_v in_o a_o very_a great_a rage_n but_o this_o put_v i_o into_o much_o comfort_n because_o i_o conceive_v thereby_o that_o my_o suit_n be_v grant_v and_o so_o it_o be_v as_o i_o come_v to_o know_v afterward_o for_o the_o party_n have_v be_v at_o confession_n and_o have_v do_v it_o with_o great_a contrition_n and_o he_o return_v in_o so_o very_o good_a earnest_n to_o almighty_a god_n that_o i_o hope_v in_o his_o divine_a majesty_n he_o will_v ever_o go_v advance_v in_o his_o service_n and_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o amen_n in_o this_o particular_a of_o procure_v our_o bless_a lord_n to_o bring_v soul_n out_o 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i_o see_v i_o be_o able_a to_o beg_v often_o and_o that_o with_o great_a importunity_n and_o though_o i_o carry_v not_o the_o particular_a care_n of_o they_o about_o i_o yet_o i_o think_v they_o come_v before_o i_o of_o themselves_o so_o that_o the_o difference_n between_o these_o two_o way_n of_o ask_v be_v so_o very_o great_a as_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o declare_v for_o though_o i_o ask_v in_o one_o of_o these_o kind_n of_o thing_n wherein_o i_o forbear_v not_o to_o urge_v myself_o to_o beg_v they_o of_o our_o lord_n howsoever_o i_o feel_v not_o that_o kind_n of_o fervour_n in_o myself_o which_o i_o do_v in_o those_o other_o and_o though_o they_o chance_v to_o import_v my_o own_o particular_a very_o much_o yet_o be_v it_o in_o effect_n but_o as_o when_o a_o man_n chance_v to_o be_v toung-tyed_n who_o although_o he_o will_v fain_o speak_v yet_o he_o can_v do_v it_o and_o if_o he_o speak_v it_o be_v but_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o he_o see_v it_o can_v be_v understand_v 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very_o much_o esteem_v and_o very_o much_o praise_v and_o there_o be_v temptation_n enough_o towards_o less_o perfection_n through_o much_o distraction_n whereby_o one_o may_v easy_o have_v be_v shrewd_o take_v if_o i_o have_v look_v upon_o nothing_o but_o myself_o but_o he_o who_o judge_v right_o and_o look_n upon_o we_o with_o true_a sight_n indeed_o be_v careful_a not_o to_o give_v over_o the_o keep_v i_o ever_o safe_a in_o his_o hand_n and_o now_o when_o i_o be_o speak_v of_o have_v a_o true_a and_o real_a sight_n of_o thing_n i_o remember_v and_o consider_v the_o great_a trouble_n which_o any_o such_o person_n as_o who_o it_o have_v please_v almighty_a god_n to_o endue_v with_o a_o knowledge_n of_o that_o which_o indeed_o be_v truth_n must_v needs_o be_v put_v to_o when_o he_o be_v force_v to_o treat_v with_o other_o about_o thing_n which_o concern_v this_o transitory_a and_o troublesome_a world_n where_o all_fw-mi in_o fine_a be_v much_o disguise_v and_o mask_v as_o our_o lord_n 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any_o thing_n i_o which_o be_v good_a in_o itself_o because_o indeed_o i_o be_o far_o enough_o from_o be_v ignorant_a that_o any_o such_o thing_n as_o be_v in_o i_o be_v good_a but_o i_o affirm_v only_o those_o thing_n as_o in_o my_o own_o name_n and_o they_o be_v deliver_v as_o by_o myself_o which_o do_v not_o come_v into_o my_o understanding_n and_o knowledge_n by_o way_n of_o revelation_n but_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n and_o my_o god_n and_o how_o often_o do_v it_o happen_v to_o we_o here_o that_o even_o in_o the_o most_o spiritual_a occasion_n we_o be_v resolve_v many_o
with_o a_o great_a cloud_n and_o so_o to_o become_v very_o dark_a and_o that_o so_o though_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v ever_o present_a with_o we_o yea_o so_o very_o present_a as_o that_o he_o give_v we_o our_o very_a be_v thereby_o yet_o then_o he_o be_v not_o so_o represent_v as_o to_o be_v see_v by_o we_o and_o that_o when_o the_o case_n concern_v heretic_n the_o lookingglass_n be_v direct_o break_v which_o be_v far_o worse_a then_o to_o be_v obscure_v but_o now_o there_o be_v a_o very_a great_a deal_n of_o difference_n between_o my_o see_v it_o and_o my_o relate_v it_o for_o it_o be_v no_o easy_a thing_n to_o give_v it_o well_o to_o be_v understand_v yet_o this_o have_v do_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o good_a and_o have_v affect_v i_o with_o much_o pity_n and_o grief_n for_o those_o time_n wherein_o myself_o do_v obscure_v my_o soul_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o behold_v and_o see_v this_o bless_a lord_n of_o i_o it_o seem_v also_o to_o i_o that_o this_o kind_n of_o vision_n be_v very_o useful_a to_o person_n who_o be_v of_o much_o recollection_n to_o teach_v they_o a_o way_n of_o think_v of_o our_o bless_a lord_n as_o in_o the_o most_o interior_a part_n of_o their_o soul_n which_o be_v a_o consideration_n that_o will_v stick_v close_a to_o then_o and_o will_v be_v of_o much_o more_o benefit_n then_o if_o they_o be_v consider_v as_o any_o way_n our_o of_o the_o soul_n according_a to_o what_o i_o have_v say_v else_o where_o and_o it_o be_v contain_v also_o in_o some_o book_n which_o be_v write_v of_o prayer_n about_o the_o way_n how_o we_o be_v to_o seek_v almighty_a god_n in_o particular_a the_o glorious_a s._n augustin_n speak_v much_o of_o how_o almighty_a god_n be_v not_o to_o be_v seek_v either_o in_o pleasure_n or_o external_a place_n and_o that_o he_o can_v be_v no_o way_n find_v so_o well_o as_o in_o ourselves_o and_o this_o be_v certain_o the_o best_a way_n nor_o have_v we_o need_v to_o go_v further_o off_o then_o to_o 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happen_v sometime_o and_o especial_o with_o beginner_n and_o i_o have_v be_v think_v whether_o it_o may_v not_o proceed_v from_o this_o that_o our_o condition_n be_v natural_o very_o weak_a and_o not_o able_a to_o admit_v and_o endure_v so_o great_a a_o strength_n of_o spirit_n and_o that_o the_o imagination_n be_v weaken_v also_o much_o and_o i_o know_v that_o this_o happen_v to_o some_o now_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_o apt_a to_o think_v that_o it_o be_v not_o ill_o to_o oblige_v they_o in_o such_o case_n as_o this_o to_o leave-off_a their_o prayer_n for_o that_o time_n and_o to_o go_v recover_v that_o afterward_o which_o they_o lose_v then_o that_o so_o all_o come_v not_o on_o together_o for_o it_o may_v chance_n prove_v a_o occasion_n of_o much_o inconvenience_n and_o of_o this_o we_o have_v experience_n and_o that_o it_o will_v fall_v out_o to_o be_v of_o better_a proof_n to_o consider_v very_o well_o how_o much_o our_o state_n of_o health_n and_o strength_n be_v able_a to_o 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we_o in_o account_n for_o some_o satisfaction_n of_o himself_o and_o therefore_o it_o will_v fallout_a to_o be_v better_o do_v to_o confer_v thereof_o as_o i_o have_v former_o say_v and_o so_o will_v it_o also_o be_v to_o proceed_v after_o this_o manner_n in_o all_o those_o thing_n whereof_o i_o be_o speak_v now_o for_o i_o see_v that_o this_o import_v very_o much_o especial_o if_o they_o be_v woman_n who_o be_v concern_v and_o that_o they_o do_v it_o with_o their_o ghostly_a father_n and_o that_o he_o also_o be_v such_o as_o be_v fit_a at_o least_o there_o use_v to_o be_v more_o woman_n than_o man_n to_o who_o our_o lord_n impart_v these_o favour_n and_o this_o i_o understand_v first_o from_o the_o holy_a man_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n and_o i_o have_v also_o see_v myself_o that_o they_o proceed_v and_o profit_v more_o in_o this_o way_n of_o spirit_n than_o man_n do_v but_o he_o give_v excellent_a reason_n for_o his_o opinion_n which_o need_v not_o be_v insert_v here_o for_o they_o all_o be_v in_o favour_n of_o woman_n be_v one_o day_n in_o prayer_n there_o be_v sudden_o represent_v to_o i_o but_o it_o be_v without_o my_o see_v any_o thing_n form_v and_o yet_o it_o be_v with_o a_o very_a extraordinary_a kind_n of_o claritie_n how_o all_o thing_n be_v see_v in_o almighty_a god_n and_o how_o he_o have_v they_o all_o in_o himself_o to_o know_v how_o to_o set_v this_o down_o be_v in_o no_o power_n of_o i_o but_o it_o remain_v deep_o imprint_v in_o my_o soul_n and_o it_o be_v one_o of_o the_o great_a favour_n that_o ever_o have_v be_v do_v i_o by_o our_o bless_a lord_n yea_o and_o of_o those_o also_o which_o put_v i_o to_o great_a confusion_n &_o shame_n when_o i_o consider_v the_o many_o sin_n which_o i_o have_v commit_v against_o he_o i_o well_o believe_v that_o if_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o let_v i_o see_v this_o vision_n at_o some_o other_o time_n of_o my_o life_n or_o if_o they_o can_v see_v he_o now_o who_o be_v sin_v against_o he_o they_o will_v never_o have_v the_o hart_n and_o courage_n to_o do_v as_o they_o do_v it_o appear_v to_o i_o as_o i_o say_v but_o yet_o so_o as_o that_o i_o can_v express_o affirm_v that_o i_o see_v any_o thing_n distinct_o but_o yet_o somewhat_o i_o think_v must_v needs_o have_v be_v see_v by_o i_o since_o i_o be_o able_a to_o make_v this_o very_a comparison_n but_o that_o it_o fall_v out_o to_o be_v signify_v by_o so_o delicate_a and_o subtle_a a_o way_n as_o that_o the_o understanding_n be_v not_o able_a to_o reach_v it_o or_o else_o that_o i_o have_v no_o skill_n of_o all_o those_o kind_n of_o vision_n which_o seem_v not_o to_o be_v imaginary_a but_o yet_o in_o some_o of_o these_o i_o very_o think_v that_o perhaps_o there_o may_v be_v somewhat_o of_o the_o imaginary_a or_o form_v appearance_n and_o that_o only_o the_o power_n of_o the_o soul_n be_v then_o in_o rapt_v they_o be_v not_o able_a afterward_o to_o assign_v any_o form_n in_o what_o manner_n our_o lord_n represent_v himself_o to_o they_o there_o and_o how_o he_o be_v please_v that_o they_o shall_v enjoy_v he_o but_o yet_o suppose_v it_o to_o be_v the_o divinity_n in_o the_o form_n of_o some_o bright_a diamond_n which_o be_v big_a than_o the_o whole_a world_n or_o else_o of_o some_o lookingglass_n after_o the_o manner_n of_o what_o i_o say_v before_o concern_v the_o soul_n in_o that_o other_o vision_n save_o that_o this_o be_v in_o so_o superior_a a_o kind_n of_o manner_n that_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o express_v it_o and_o that_o all_o that_o which_o we_o do_v be_v see_v
in_o this_o diamond_n it_o be_v such_o as_o that_o all_o thing_n be_v shutup_a in_o it_o because_o there_o be_v nothing_o which_o can_v get_v out_o of_o that_o greatness_n it_o be_v a_o thing_n extreme_o to_o amaze_v i_o to_o be_v able_a to_o see_v in_o so_o very_o short_a a_o time_n so_o many_o thing_n together_o in_o this_o bright_a diamond_n and_o so_o be_v it_o also_o matter_n of_o extreme_a compassion_n and_o grief_n for_o i_o every_o time_n that_o i_o remember_v myself_o to_o have_v see_v that_o thing_n so_o very_o ugly_a and_o foul_a as_o my_o sin_n be_v shall_v be_v represent_v and_o show_v in_o that_o so_o clearness_n of_o light_n and_o the_o truth_n be_v that_o whensoever_o i_o remember_v it_o i_o know_v not_o how_o it_o come_v to_o be_v possible_a for_o i_o to_o endure_v it_o and_o i_o do_v real_o then_o remain_v so_o extreme_o out_o of_o countenance_n and_o ashamed_a that_o i_o think_v i_o can_v not_o tell_v where_o to_o hide_v my_o head_n o_o vision_n that_o some_o creature_n or_o other_o be_v able_a to_o give_v this_o truth_n to_o be_v well_o understand_v by_o these_o people_n who_o commit_v dishonest_a filthy_a sin_n that_o so_o they_o may_v come_v to_o know_v that_o they_o be_v not_o secret_a and_o that_o almighty_a god_n have_v reason_n to_o be_v very_o sensible_a of_o those_o wrong_n since_o they_o be_v act_v so_o true_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o that_o we_o carry_v ourselves_o with_o so_o base_a irreverence_n before_o he_o i_o see_v here_o also_o how_o just_o hell_n be_v deserve_v for_o any_o one_o mortal_a sin_n because_o it_o be_v pass_v our_o power_n to_o understand_v what_o a_o most_o grievous_a crime_n it_o be_v to_o commit_v it_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o so_o great_a a_o majesty_n and_o what_o a_o unspeakable_a distance_n and_o dissimilitude_n be_v find_v between_o that_o which_o he_o be_v and_o that_o which_o our_o sin_n be_v and_o how_o it_o appear_v even_o hereby_o so_o much_o the_o better_a how_o great_a his_o mercy_n be_v since_o notwithstanding_o he_o know_v all_o this_o he_o yet_o endure_v us._n it_o have_v also_o make_v i_o consider_v that_o if_o such_o a_o vision_n as_o this_o can_v leave_v the_o soul_n so_o extreme_o astonish_v and_o amaze_v what_o kind_n of_o thing_n will_v the_o day_n of_o judgement_n prove_v to_o be_v when_o this_o majesty_n of_o almighty_a god_n will_v show_v itself_o with_o all_o clearness_n and_o so_o we_o shall_v also_o clear_o see_v what_o kind_n of_o thing_n our_o sin_n be_v which_o we_o commit_v against_o he_o o_o my_o dear_a god_n what_o blindness_n be_v this_o which_o have_v seize_v i_o and_o i_o have_v often_o be_v amaze_v even_o whilst_o i_o have_v be_v write_v this_o and_o your_o reverence_n need_v be_v amaze_v at_o nothing_o but_o how_o i_o be_o able_a even_o to_o live_v whilst_o i_o be_o look_v both_o upon_o these_o thing_n and_o myself_o but_o let_v he_o be_v eternal_o bless_v who_o have_v vouchsafe_v to_o endure_v such_o thing_n at_o my_o hand_n be_v once_o in_o prayer_n in_o very_o great_a recollection_n and_o with_o much_o quietness_n and_o sweetness_n i_o think_v i_o be_v all_o emcompass_v with_o angel_n and_o very_o near_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o i_o begin_v to_o be_v a_o humble_a suitor_n to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o the_o benefit_n and_o advantage_n of_o his_o church_n and_o he_o give_v i_o to_o understand_v the_o much_o good_a which_o a_o certain_a order_n shall_v do_v the_o world_n in_o these_o latter_a time_n and_o the_o great_a courage_n wherewith_o the_o member_n thereof_o shall_v defend_v and_o uphold_v the_o catholic_a faith_n be_v once_o in_o prayer_n near_o the_o bless_a sacrament_n there_o appear_v to_o i_o a_o certain_a saint_n who_o order_n be_v in_o some_o decay_n he_o have_v a_o great_a book_n in_o his_o hand_n which_o he_o open_v and_o will_v i_o to_o read_v certains_fw-fr letter_n in_o it_o which_o be_v very_o legible_a and_o large_a and_o they_o say_v thus_o in_o future_a time_n this_o order_n shall_v flourish_v and_o have_v many_o martyr_n another_o time_n be_v at_o matin_n in_o the_o choir_n six_o or_o seven_o person_n be_v represent_v and_o set_v before_o i_o and_o i_o hold_v they_o to_o be_v of_o the_o same_o order_n and_o they_o have_v sword_n in_o their_o hand_n and_o i_o conceive_v that_o i_o be_v give_v thereby_o to_o understand_v that_o they_o shall_v defend_v the_o faith_n for_o be_v in_o prayer_n another_o time_n and_o rapt_v in_o spirit_n i_o think_v i_o be_v in_o a_o very_a spavous_a field_n where_o many_o be_v who_o fight_v and_o they_o of_o this_o order_n do_v also_o fight_v with_o great_a fervour_n they_o have_v their_o face_n beautiful_a and_o much_o inflame_v and_o they_o beat_v multitude_n of_o man_n down_o to_o the_o ground_n and_o killed_z other_o this_o battle_n seem_v to_o be_v give_v against_o heretic_n &_o i_o have_v see_v this_o glorious_a saint_n diverse_a time_n and_o he_o have_v tell_v i_o some_o thing_n and_o give_v i_o thanks_n for_o the_o prayer_n which_o i_o make_v for_o his_o order_n and_o he_o have_v promise_v that_o he_o will_v recommend_v i_o to_o our_o bless_a lord_n i_o specifye_v not_o the_o several_a order_n here_o lest_o some_o shall_v be_v offend_v at_o it_o and_o if_o our_o lord_n shall_v think_v it_o convenient_a he_o may_v declare_v they_o but_o every_o order_n shall_v procure_v and_o so_o shall_v every_o particular_a man_n of_o every_o order_n that_o in_o so_o great_a a_o necessity_n as_o that_o wherein_o the_o church_n be_v at_o this_o time_n they_o may_v be_v able_a to_o serve_v she_o for_o happy_a be_v those_o life_n which_o may_v come_v to_o loose_v themselves_o upon_o this_o occasion_n a_o certain_a person_n desire_v i_o once_o to_o beg_v of_o almighty_a god_n that_o i_o may_v understand_v whether_o or_o no_o it_o will_v be_v for_o the_o service_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o he_o shall_v take_v a_o bishopric_n i_o do_v so_o and_o our_o lord_n make_v i_o this_o answer_n after_o i_o have_v communicate_v when_o he_o shall_v understand_v with_o all_o clearness_n and_o truth_n that_o true_a dominion_n consist_v in_o possess_v nothing_o he_o may_v take_v it_o then_o give_v thereby_o to_o understand_v that_o whosoever_o be_v to_o be_v a_o prelate_n must_v be_v very_o far_o from_o so_o much_o as_o desire_v it_o and_o yet_o further_o from_o procure_v it_o these_o favour_n and_o many_o other_o also_o have_v be_v and_o be_v still_o very_o ordinary_o show_v by_o our_o bless_a lord_n to_o this_o sinful_a woman_n which_o i_o think_v be_v not_o very_o necesarie_a to_o be_v relate_v since_o by_o those_o which_o be_v deliver_v already_o my_o soul_n together_o with_o the_o spirit_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v give_v i_o may_v be_v understand_v but_o let_v he_o be_v ever_o bless_v who_o have_v have_v so_o much_o care_n of_o i_o he_o tell_v i_o once_o by_o way_n of_o comfort_v i_o that_o i_o must_v not_o afflict_v myself_o and_o this_o he_o do_v with_o most_o tender_a love_n for_o that_o in_o this_o life_n of_o we_o we_o can_v not_o possible_o be_v always_o after_o the_o same_o manner_n but_o that_o sometime_o i_o will_v be_v in_o fervour_n and_o sometime_o without_o it_o sometime_o with_o unquietnes_n and_o temptation_n and_o sometime_o without_o they_o and_o in_o peace_n but_o that_o i_o must_v hope_v in_o he_o and_o fear_v nothing_o be_v one_o day_n in_o thought_n and_o doubt_v whether_o it_o be_v not_o a_o kind_n of_o be_v tie_v to_o creature_n to_o be_v glad_a to_o be_v with_o such_o person_n as_o with_o who_o i_o treat_v the_o business_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o to_o love_n both_o they_o and_o other_o also_o who_o i_o find_v to_o be_v the_o servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o to_o receive_v comfort_n by_o be_v with_o they_o he_o tell_v i_o that_o if_o when_o a_o man_n be_v dangerous_o sick_a the_o presence_n of_o a_o physician_n seem_v even_o to_o restore_v he_o to_o health_n it_o will_v not_o be_v a_o virtue_n to_o forbear_v to_o be_v glad_a of_o he_o and_o to_o love_v he_o and_o what_o say_v he_o will_v thou_o have_v do_v if_o it_o have_v not_o be_v for_o such_o as_o they_o that_o he_o dislike_v not_o that_o conversation_n shall_v be_v hold_v with_o such_o as_o be_v good_a but_o that_o my_o word_n must_v ever_o be_v well_o consider_v and_o holy_a and_o that_o so_o it_o will_v be_v rather_o profitable_a to_o i_o then_o hurtful_a not_o to_o give-ove_a communication_n with_o they_o now_o this_o impart_v a_o particular_a comfort_n to_o i_o for_o sometime_o it_o will_v seem_v to_o be_v a_o have_v too_o great_a a_o tie_n upon_o creature_n which_o make_v i_o once_o incline_v to_o give-ove_a the_o custom_n
import_v to_o converse_v in_o childhood_n with_o virtuous_a person_n 3._o chap._n she_o treat_v how_o her_o fall_v into_o virtuous_a company_n be_v the_o occasion_n of_o she_o return_v to_o awake_a good_a desire_n in_o herself_o and_o how_o our_o lord_n begin_v to_o give_v she_o some_o light_n of_o the_o error_n wherein_o she_o have_v former_o be_v 4._o chap._n she_o relate_v how_o our_o lord_n assist_v she_o to_o force_v herself_o to_o take_v the_o habit_n of_o religion_n and_o of_o the_o many_o infirmity_n which_o our_o lord_n begin_v to_o bring_v upon_o she_o 5._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v the_o relation_n of_o the_o great_a infirmity_n which_o she_o have_v and_o of_o the_o patience_n which_o our_o lord_n give_v she_o in_o they_o and_o how_o benefit_n be_v draw_v out_o of_o mischief_n as_o will_v be_v see_v by_o a_o certain_a particular_a which_o happen_v to_o she_o in_o the_o place_n whither_o she_o go_v to_o be_v cure_v 6._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o how_o much_o she_o owe_v our_o lord_n for_o his_o give_v her_o conformity_n to_o his_o holy_a will_n in_o so_o great_a affliction_n and_o how_o she_o take_v the_o glorious_a saint_n joseph_n for_o her_o intercessor_n and_o how_o advantageous_a that_o devotion_n prove_v to_o be_v 7._o chap._n she_o show_v by_o what_o degree_n and_o mean_n she_o go_v loose_v the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v do_v she_o and_o how_o ill_o she_o begin_v to_o live_v and_o she_o also_o declare_v the_o harm_n there_o be_v in_o not_o maintain_v clausure_n in_o the_o monasterye_n of_o religious_a woman_n 8._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o the_o great_a good_a it_o do_v she_o towards_o the_o not_o loose_v her_o soul_n not_o to_o have_v whole_o give_v over_o her_o prayer_n as_o also_o what_o a_o excellent_a remedy_n that_o be_v towards_o the_o gain_n of_o whatsoever_o good_a thing_n which_o be_v lose_v she_o persuade_v all_o creature_n to_o use_v it_o and_o declare_v the_o great_a benefit_n thereof_o and_o although_o we_o shall_v afterward_o leave_v it_o yet_o still_o it_o will_v prove_v a_o great_a good_a to_o have_v use_v so_o great_a a_o help_n for_o some_o time_n 9_o chap._n she_o declare_v by_o what_o mean_v our_o lord_n begin_v to_o awake_a her_o soul_n and_o give_v her_o light_n in_o so_o great_a darkness_n and_o to_o strengthen_v also_o her_o virtue_n that_o so_o she_o may_v offend_v he_o no_o more_o 10._o chap._n she_o begin_v to_o declare_v the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n do_v she_o in_o prayer_n and_o speak_v of_o that_o wherein_o we_o may_v be_v able_a to_o help_v ourselves_o and_o how_o much_o it_o also_o import_v we_o to_o understand_v the_o say_v favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v us._n she_o humble_o desire_v of_o he_o to_o who_o she_o send_v this_o account_n of_o herself_o that_o whatsoever_o she_o shall_v declare_v from_o hence_o forward_o may_v remain_v in_o secret_a with_o he_o since_o he_o have_v command_v she_o to_o set_v down_o in_o so_o particular_a a_o manner_n the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v she_o chap._n 11._o she_o declare_v in_o what_o the_o fault_n consist_v of_o not_o obtain_v to_o love_n god_n with_o perfection_n in_o short_a time_n she_o begin_v to_o deliver_v it_o by_o a_o comparison_n which_o contain_v fowre_a degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o she_o treat_v here_o of_o the_o first_o which_o be_v very_o profitable_a for_o beginner_n &_o for_o those_o also_o who_o have_v no_o sensible_a delight_n or_o gust_n in_o prayer_n 12._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v her_o discourse_n of_o the_o first_o state_n or_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o declare_v how_o far_o we_o may_v arrive_v of_o ourselves_o by_o the_o favour_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o of_o the_o hurt_n it_o bring_v to_o desire_v that_o our_o spirit_n may_v rise_v to_o supernatural_a and_o extraordinary_a thing_n till_o our_o lord_n himself_o be_v please_v to_o ordain_v it_o 13._o chap._n she_o proceed_v in_o this_o first_o degree_n and_o state_n of_o prayer_n and_o give_v advice_n against_o some_o temptation_n which_o the_o devil_n be_v sometime_o wont_a to_o bring_v this_o discourse_n be_v very_o profitable_a 14._o chap._n she_o begin_v to_o declare_v the_o second_o degree_n of_o prayer_n wherein_o our_o lord_n be_v already_o please_v to_o give_v the_o soul_n more_o particular_a gust_n which_o she_o declare_v to_o the_o end_n that_o she_o may_v make_v they_o be_v understand_v to_o be_v supernatural_a this_o discourse_n be_v very_o much_o to_o be_v note_v 15._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v her_o discourse_n of_o the_o same_o matter_n and_o give_v some_o advice_n how_o person_n be_v to_o carry_v themselves_o in_o this_o kind_n of_o quiet_a prayer_n she_o treat_v how_o many_o soul_n come_v to_o arrive_v to_o this_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o that_o few_o pass_v beyond_o it_o the_o particular_n which_o be_v touch_v beer_n be_v not_o only_o very_o profitable_a but_o very_o necessary_a 16._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o the_o three_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o go_v declare_v some_o very_a high_a point_n and_o what_o a_o soul_n which_o arrive_v thus_o far_o may_v be_v able_a to_o do_v and_o what_o effect_n these_o so_o great_a favour_n of_o our_o lord_n be_v accustom_v to_o work_n the_o sense_n hereof_o be_v very_o fit_a to_o raise_v the_o spirit_n high_a in_o the_o praise_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o it_o be_v also_o of_o great_a consolation_n for_o the_o soul_n which_o arrive_v to_o this_o state_n 17._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o argument_n about_o this_o three_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o finish_v the_o declaration_n of_o the_o effect_n which_o work_n and_o declare_v also_o the_o disadvantage_n which_o the_o memory_n and_o imagination_n be_v wont_a to_o bring_v in_o this_o case_n 18._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o the_o four_o degree_n of_o prayer_n she_o begin_v here_o to_o declare_v in_o excellent_a manner_n the_o great_a dignity_n to_o which_o our_o lord_n advance_v that_o soul_n which_o be_v exalt_v to_o this_o state_n it_o serve_v to_o animate_v man_n much_o to_o endeavour_v that_o they_o may_v arrive_v to_o so_o high_a a_o condition_n since_o it_o may_v be_v obtain_v in_o this_o world_n through_o the_o goodness_n of_o our_o lord_n though_o it_o can_v be_v deserve_v let_v this_o be_v read_v with_o consideration_n and_o care_n 19_o chap._n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o discourse_n and_o begin_v to_o declare_v the_o effect_n which_o this_o degree_n of_o prayer_n work_n in_o the_o soul_n she_o persuade_v man_n earnest_o not_o to_o turn_v back_o nor_o to_o give-ove_a their_o prayer_n though_o they_o shall_v happen_v to_o fall_v even_o after_o they_o have_v receive_v these_o favour_n she_o speak_v of_o the_o great_a harm_n which_o will_v arrive_v to_o they_o if_o they_o do_v otherwise_o this_o discourse_n be_v much_o to_o be_v note_v and_o it_o be_v of_o great_a consolation_n for_o weak_a person_n and_o sinner_n 20._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o the_o difference_n between_v union_n and_o rapt_v and_o declare_v what_o kind_n of_o thing_n a_o rapt_v be_v she_o speak_v also_o of_o the_o blessing_n which_o that_o soul_n have_v which_o our_o lord_n through_o his_o goodness_n bring_v thither_o and_o of_o the_o effect_n which_o rapt_n use_v to_o produce_v this_o discourse_n be_v of_o much_o admiration_n 21._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v and_o finish_v this_o last_o degree_n of_o prayer_n she_o declare_v what_o the_o soul_n find_v therein_o when_o she_o return_v to_o live_v again_o in_o the_o world_n and_o the_o light_n also_o which_o our_o lord_n give_v concern_v the_o deceit_n and_o error_n of_o the_o same_o world_n this_o chapter_n deliver_v excellent_a doctrine_n 22._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o how_o secure_a a_o way_n it_o be_v for_o person_n who_o give_v themselves_o to_o contemplation_n not_o to_o raiseup_a their_o spirit_n to_o high_a thing_n unless_o our_o lord_n raise_v they_o up_o and_o that_o the_o humanity_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n be_v indeed_o to_o be_v the_o mean_n towards_o the_o high_a contemplation_n of_o all_o other_o she_o speak_v also_o of_o a_o error_n wherein_o once_o she_o be_v this_o chapter_n contain_v matter_n of_o much_o profit_n 23._o chap._n she_o return_v to_o declare_v the_o course_n of_o her_o life_n and_o how_o she_o first_o begin_v to_o think_v of_o grow_v to_o great_a perfection_n and_o by_o what_o mean_v she_o do_v it_o this_o chapter_n be_v very_o profitable_a for_o such_o as_o be_v to_o govern_v soul_n in_o order_n to_o prayer_n and_o to_o make_v they_o know_v how_o they_o be_v to_o behave_v themselves_o in_o their_o beginning_n and_o of_o the_o benefit_n she_o reap_v by_o know_v it_o herself_o 24._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v the_o former_a discourse_n and_o show_n how_o her_o soul_n go_v profit_v when_o once_o she_o
have_v begin_v to_o obey_v she_o also_o declare_v for_o how_o little_a purpose_n it_o serve_v to_o resist_v the_o favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o how_o his_o divine_a majesty_n go_v daily_o impart_v they_o to_o she_o after_o a_o more_o complete_a manner_n chap._n 25._o she_o treat_v here_o of_o the_o way_n and_o manner_n of_o understand_v those_o word_n or_o speech_n which_o almighty_a god_n be_v please_v to_o utter_v to_o the_o soul_n though_o yet_o without_o hear_v any_o voice_n or_o sound_n and_o of_o some_o error_n or_o abuse_n which_o may_v happen_v herein_o and_o how_o the_o right_a may_v be_v know_v from_o the_o wrong_n it_o be_v of_o much_o use_n and_o profit_n for_o such_o as_o see_v themselves_o in_o this_o degree_n of_o prayer_n for_o it_o be_v declare_v very_o well_o and_o the_o doctrine_n contain_v great_a instruction_n 26._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o discourse_n and_o go_v relate_v and_o declare_v such_o thing_n as_o happen_v to_o she_o which_o make_v she_o to_o loose_a fear_n and_o to_o be_v strengthen_v in_o a_o belief_n that_o it_o be_v a_o good_a spirit_n which_o speak_v to_o she_o 27._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o another_o way_n how_o our_o lord_n instruct_v a_o soul_n and_o give_v she_o to_o understand_v his_o will_n after_o a_o very_a admirable_a manner_n without_o any_o speech_n at_o all_o she_o also_o declare_v a_o certain_a vision_n and_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n show_v she_o and_o this_o vision_n be_v not_o imaginary_a this_o chaepter_n be_v very_o much_o to_o be_v note_v 28._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n do_v she_o and_o how_o he_o appear_v to_o she_o the_o first_o time_n she_o declare_v that_o it_o be_v a_o vision_n which_o show_v itself_o by_o way_n of_o the_o imagination_n and_o discover_v the_o great_a effect_n and_o testimony_n which_o such_o thing_n leave_v in_o the_o soul_n when_o they_o be_v of_o almighty_a god_n this_o chapter_n be_v of_o great_a instruction_n and_o deserve_v to_o be_v note_v much_o 29._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v the_o discourse_n which_o she_o have_v begin_v and_o relate_v some_o high_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v she_o and_o what_o his_o divine_a majesty_n do_v further_o for_o the_o secure_n and_o encourage_a her_o mind_n and_o for_o the_o enable_v she_o to_o answer_n her_o contradictour_n 30._o chap._n she_o return_v to_o recount_v the_o course_n of_o her_o life_n and_o how_o our_o lord_n give_v remedy_n to_o many_o of_o her_o trouble_n by_o bring_v that_o holy_a man_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n of_o the_o order_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n francis_n to_o the_o place_n where_o she_o be_v and_o she_o declare_v the_o great_a temptation_n and_o inward_a trouble_n which_o sometime_o she_o endure_v 31_o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o certain_a exterior_a temptation_n and_o representation_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o of_o the_o torment_n which_o he_o give_v she_o she_o speak_v also_o of_o other_o thing_n which_o be_v very_o fit_a for_o the_o advice_n and_o instruction_n of_o such_o person_n as_o be_v walk_v on_o in_o the_o way_n of_o perfection_n 32._o chap._n she_o treat_v how_o it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o put_v she_o in_o spirit_n into_o a_o place_n of_o hell_n which_o she_o say_v she_o have_v deserve_v for_o her_o sin_n she_o relate_v what_o be_v represent_v to_o she_o there_o which_o be_v but_o a_o kind_n of_o shadow_n of_o such_o thing_n as_o be_v suffer_v in_o that_o place_n she_o begin_v also_o to_o declare_v the_o way_n and_o manner_n how_o that_o monastery_n be_v found_v in_o auila_n under_o the_o name_n of_o s._n joseph_n 33._o chap._n she_o proceed_v in_o the_o same_o subject_n of_o the_o foundation_n of_o the_o monastery_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n joseph_n she_o declare_v how_o she_o be_v command_v to_o attend_v to_o that_o business_n and_o of_o the_o time_n when_o she_o forbear_v to_o follow_v it_o and_o of_o some_o trouble_n which_o she_o have_v and_o how_o she_o be_v comfort_v in_o they_o by_o our_o bless_a lord_n chap._n 34._o she_o declare_v how_o at_o this_o time_n she_o be_v necessary_o to_o go_v from_o that_o place_n and_o she_o show_v the_o cause_n thereof_o and_o how_o her_o superior_a command_v she_o to_o go_v for_o the_o comfort_n of_o a_o certain_a lady_n who_o be_v much_o afflict_v she_o begin_v to_o treat_v of_o that_o which_o happen_v to_o she_o there_o and_o of_o the_o great_a favour_n which_o it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o do_v by_o her_o mean_n in_o stirring-up_a a_o very_a principal_a person_n to_o do_v he_o very_o great_a service_n and_o how_o afterward_o she_o receive_v much_o favour_n and_o protection_n from_o he_o this_o be_v a_o admirable_a discourse_n and_o very_o much_o to_o be_v note_v 35._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o subject_n about_o the_o foundation_n of_o this_o house_n of_o our_o glorious_a father_n s._n joseph_n she_o speak_v of_o the_o degree_n by_o which_o our_o lord_n come_v to_o appoint_v that_o holy_a poverty_n shall_v be_v ordain_v there_o and_o of_o the_o cause_n why_o she_o come_v from_o that_o lady_n with_o who_o she_o be_v and_o of_o other_o thing_n also_o which_o succeed_v 36._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v the_o subject_n which_o she_o have_v begunn_v and_o declare_v the_o final_a conclusion_n of_o this_o monastery_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n joseph_n of_o auila_n and_o of_o the_o great_a contradiction_n and_o persecution_n which_o the_o religious_a woman_n be_v put_v to_o suffer_v even_o after_o they_o have_v take_v the_o habit_n and_o of_o the_o many_o trouble_n and_o temptation_n which_o she_o be_v fain_o to_o undergo_v and_o how_o his_o divine_a majesty_n draw_v she_o out_o of_o all_o with_o victory_n to_o his_o own_o praise_n and_o glory_n 37._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o the_o effect_n which_o use_v to_o remain_v in_o her_o soul_n when_o our_o lord_n have_v do_v she_o any_o favour_n and_o she_o accompany_v this_o discourse_n with_o very_o profitable_a doctrine_n she_o declare_v also_o how_o we_o be_v to_o procure_v and_o great_o esteem_v the_o gain_n of_o one_o degree_n of_o glory_n more_o and_o how_o we_o must_v not_o for_o any_o trouble_n or_o pain_n forsake_v those_o benefit_n &_o blessing_n which_o be_v everlasting_a 38._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o some_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v she_o as_o well_o in_o acquaint_v she_o with_o certain_a secret_n of_o heaven_n as_o by_o give_v she_o other_o great_a vision_n and_o revelation_n she_o declare_v also_o the_o effect_n which_o they_o leave_v in_o her_o soul_n and_o the_o great_a benefit_n which_o she_o obtain_v by_o they_o 39_o chap._n she_o proceed_v in_o the_o same_o subject_n of_o show_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v do_v she_o and_o she_o declare_v how_o he_o be_v please_v to_o promise_v his_o favour_n to_o they_o for_o who_o she_o shall_v beg_v it_o and_o she_o relate_v some_o important_a particular_n wherein_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v do_v her_o extraordinary_a favour_n of_o this_o kind_n 40._o chap._n she_o proceed_v in_o the_o same_o discourse_n by_o relate_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n show_v she_o whereby_o good_a instruction_n be_v to_o be_v get_v and_o with_o the_o end_n of_o this_o chapter_n she_o end_v also_o the_o discourse_n of_o her_o life_n 41._o a_o letter_n write_v by_o the_o glorious_a s._n teresa_n which_o she_o send_v together_o with_o the_o book_n to_o her_o ghostly_a father_n approbatio_fw-la haec_fw-la vita_fw-la s._n teresae_fw-la primùm_fw-la hispanico_fw-la sermone_fw-la à _fw-la se_fw-la conscripta_fw-la &_o postea_fw-la taliter_fw-la edita_fw-la nunc_fw-la verò_fw-la felicissimè_fw-la anglicè_fw-la reddita_fw-la per_fw-la ill_n m_o virum_fw-la m._n t._n iussu_fw-la r_o mi_fw-mi antuerpiensis_n à _fw-la i_o attentè_fw-fr perlecta_fw-la fuit_fw-la &_o in_o eadem_fw-la nihil_fw-la dum_fw-la reperi_fw-la vel_fw-la contra_fw-la fidem_fw-la vel_fw-la quod_fw-la possit_fw-la meo_fw-la iudicio_fw-la pias_fw-la &_o christianas_n aures_fw-la offendere_fw-la imò_fw-la cum_fw-la amorem_fw-la eius_fw-la seraphicum_fw-la undique_fw-la lucentem_fw-la ac_fw-la inflammantem_fw-la lector_fw-la experiatur_fw-la censeo_fw-la dignissimam_fw-la ut_fw-la in_o communem_fw-la etiam_fw-la catholicorum_n anglorum_fw-la utilitatem_fw-la imprimatur_fw-la antuerpiae_fw-la 5._o augusti_fw-la m._n dc_o xlii_o richardus_n wake_v i._n v._o l._n cap._n 4._o cap._n 5._o cap._n 2._o cap._n 8._o cap._n 7._o cap._n 6._o cap._n 22._o 22._o note_v this_o great_a &_o most_o certain_a truth_n truth_n many_o use_v to_o repeat_v the_o creed_n in_o the_o presence_n and_o as_o in_o the_o person_n of_o such_o as_o be_v near_o expire_a by_o way_n of_o fortefy_v they_o at_o that_o time_n against_o the_o temptation_n of_o the_o devil_n devil_n when_o person_n be_v near_o expire_a attendant_n use_v to_o be_v very_o
near_o they_o with_o hallow_v candle_n candle_n a_o excellent_a advice_n take_v heed_n of_o this_o great_a danger_n danger_n consider_v this_o point_n much_o and_o often_o often_o note_v this_o good_a conclusion_n upon_o the_o praemise_n praemise_n note_v this_o very_o well_o for_o nothing_o import_v more_o they_o this_o this_o a_o great_a and_o gross_a error_n error_n a_o point_n of_o very_o great_a importance_n importance_n note_n note_n this_o be_v the_o beginning_n of_o many_o great_a blessing_n blessing_n her_o entrance_n into_o the_o receave_n supernatural_a favour_n favour_n it_o work_n not_o indeed_o by_o way_n of_o use_v discourse_n or_o make_v inference_n but_o yet_o it_o work_v by_o way_n of_o contemplation_n and_o admiration_n of_o the_o infinite_a object_n be_v god_n who_o be_v set_v before_o it_o it_o note_n note_n a_o great_a &_o foolish_a error_n error_n behold_v here_o the_o true_a &_o great_a impediment_n impediment_n this_o saint_n be_v admirable_a in_o all_o the_o comparison_n which_o the_o use_n use_n this_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o engine_n with_o certain_a little_a leather_n bucket_n fasten_v to_o the_o side_n of_o a_o very_a great_a wheel_n which_o dra_n be_v up_o very_o much_o water_n with_o great_a ease_n in_o spanish_a it_o be_v call_v a_o noria_n noria_n a_o good_a lesson_n lesson_n a_o consideration_n of_o much_o comfort_n comfort_n a_o hard_a question_n most_o clear_o and_o excellent_o answer_v answer_v mark_v well_o these_o masculine_a and_o massy_a word_n word_n note_n note_n this_o suspending_a of_o the_o thought_n or_o understanding_n of_o which_o the_o saint_n speak_v be_v a_o present_v a_o multitude_n of_o supernatural_a and_o divine_a object_n before_o it_o together_o with_o a_o copious_a infusion_n of_o light_n which_o be_v decern_v by_o it_o after_o a_o kind_n of_o intuitive_a way_n at_o once_o without_o discourse_n or_o trouble_v and_o this_o light_n rest_v not_o there_o but_o passes-on_a to_o the_o will_n and_o grow_n to_o be_v as_o so_o much_o fire_n for_o the_o inflame_a it_o in_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o the_o soul_n do_v more_o proper_o suffer_v here_o then_o act_n and_o now_o the_o saint_n give_v great_a warning_n that_o people_n be_v not_o so_o foolish_a as_o to_o offer_v at_o these_o thing_n of_o themselves_o a_o great_a truth_n truth_n a_o dangerous_a &_o proud_n foolish_a error_n error_n observe_v the_o generous_a way_n of_o this_o great_a saint_n saint_n note_v this_o very_a well_o well_o a_o great_a praise_n of_o a_o large_a hart_n hart_n how_o saint_n be_v to_o be_v imitate_v &_o how_o admire_v admire_v note_v this_o well_o well_o a_o necessary_a advice_n advice_n our_o daily_a bread_n bread_n a_o description_n of_o a_o good_a director_n in_o matter_n of_o spirit_n spirit_n note_n note_n how_o the_o will_n be_v to_o carry_v itself_o to_o the_o other_o faculty_n of_o the_o mind_n mind_n the_o blessing_n of_o quiet_a prayer_n prayer_n note_n note_n note_n note_n how_o the_o soul_n be_v to_o carry_v itself_o in_o quiet_a prayer_n prayer_n note_n note_n a_o true_a &_o happy_a comparison_n comparison_n the_o good_a spirit_n very_o easy_o discern_v from_o the_o bad_a bad_a note_v this_o point_n above_o all_o all_o a_o most_o necessary_a document_n document_n a_o great_a blessing_n by_o mean_n of_o this_o prayer_n prayer_n these_o be_v the_o more_o generous_a mind_n mind_n as_o when_o one_o be_v die_v die_v this_o be_v a_o admirable_a state_n of_o mind_n mind_n the_o true_a state_n of_o the_o power_n of_o the_o mind_n in_o this_o prayer_n how_o there_o be_v a_o union_n in_o this_o prayer_n &_o how_o there_o be_v none_o none_o the_o great_a effect_n of_o this_o high_a prayer_n prayer_n the_o difference_n betweme_v elevation_n and_o union_n union_n she_o proceed_v in_o declare_v the_o great_a effect_n of_o this_o high_a prayer_n prayer_n a_o consideration_n of_o strange_a comfort_n comfort_n this_o be_v strange_a indeed_o indeed_o the_o strong_a pillar_n of_o prayer_n prayer_n consider_v this_o very_a well_o well_o take_v heed_n heed_n a_o most_o dangerous_a temptation_n temptation_n consider_v and_o admire_v this_o passage_n passage_n the_o manner_n &_o nature_n of_o rapt_n rapt_n the_o effect_n of_o rapt_n rapt_n the_o strange_a state_n of_o mind_n which_o perhaps_o be_v describe_v in_o the_o whole_a book_n book_n the_o effect_n of_o rapt_n rapt_n this_o saint_n it_o admirable_a in_o her_o comparison_n comparison_n other_o great_a effect_n of_o true_a rapt_n rapt_n her_o great_a zeal_n for_o the_o conversion_n of_o king_n king_n she_o allude_v to_o comet_n and_o blaze_a star_n star_n a_o rare_a expression_n expression_n anopinion_n which_o be_v more_o probable_a then_o true_a true_a this_o seem_v to_o have_v be_v a_o foolish_a and_o ill-favoured_a kind_n of_o error_n in_o those_o other_o other_o that_o be_v by_o several_a vision_n vision_n a_o sweet_a and_o just_a complaint_n and_o worthy_a of_o the_o saint_n who_o make_v it_o it_o by_o vision_n vision_n believe_v and_o consider_v this_o most_o certain_a truth_n truth_n a_o doubt_n which_o can_v easy_o be_v solue_v solue_v she_o grow_n now_o to_o make_v serious_a enquiry_n after_o a_o good_a director_n director_n the_o only_a excellent_a course_n course_n this_o holy_a man_n enter_v often_o into_o the_o story_n of_o our_o saint_n saint_n this_o be_v no_o improbable_a opinion_n though_o it_o be_v no_o true_a one_o one_o so_o good_a a_o begin_n be_v almost_o a_o kind_n of_o perfect_v the_o work_n work_n the_o saint_n begann_v here_o to_o be_v happy_a happy_a this_o be_v a_o wise_a man_n &_o likely_a to_o work_n wonder_v upon_o a_o soul_n soul_n he_o lose_v nothing_o by_o leave_v to_o be_v a_o duke_n for_o god_n sake_n sake_n this_o must_v needs_o have_v be_v a_o holy_a and_o a_o wise_a man_n man_n a_o little_a of_o this_o go_v far_o far_o so_o true_a it_o be_v that_o god_n be_v god_n god_n the_o mighty_a force_n and_o power_n of_o any_o one_o supernatural_a word_n word_n the_o infinite_a difference_n betweme_v supernatural_a word_n of_o god_n &_o all_o other_o other_o a_o strange_a encounter_n encounter_n great_a power_n of_o our_o lord_n lord_n how_o quick_o she_o get_v courage_n against_o the_o devil_n devil_n a_o most_o certain_a truth_n truth_n this_o be_v a_o very_a ill_a advice_n indeed_o indeed_o the_o incredible_a dear_a sweetness_n of_o our_o b._n lord_n to_o a_o soul_n soul_n observe_v this_o well_o well_o this_o saint_n you_o see_v be_v certain_o no_o protestant_n protestant_n the_o masque_n of_o pride_n pride_n a_o admirable_a example_n of_o penance_n penance_n humane_a frailty_n and_o celestial_a glory_n be_v not_o compatible_a compatible_a imaginary_a vision_n represent_v to_o &_o by_o the_o sense_n be_v of_o the_o low_a rank_n &_o most_o subject_a to_o danger_n danger_n the_o great_a effect_n of_o a_o admirable_a and_o most_o sublime_a vision_n vision_n the_o difference_n be_v easy_o find_v both_o between_v a_o true_a vision_n and_o a_o 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she_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o such_o creature_n may_v be_v capable_a thereof_o as_o be_v endue_v not_o only_o with_o mind_n but_o with_o body_n body_n the_o excellent_a fruit_n which_o this_o saint_n do_v gather_v from_o this_o great_a favour_n which_o seem_v to_o be_v the_o sole_a cause_n why_o our_o b._n lord_n be_v please_v to_o impair_v this_o favour_n favour_n the_o great_a benefit_n of_o this_o favour_n favour_n vide_fw-la supra_fw-la fol_n 471._o 471._o a_o sweet_a effect_n of_o a_o sad_a cause_n cause_n a_o sad_a and_o strange_a proceed_n proceed_n how_o one_o suspicion_n u._fw-mi wont_a to_o three_o itself_o close_o upon_o another_o another_o a_o holy_a &_o wise_a man_n man_n all_o these_o thing_n and_o the_o like_a as_o namely_o dart_n or_o chain_n or_o crown_n or_o jewel_n etc._n etc._n be_v not_o to_o be_v understoood_a after_o a_o gross_a &_o material_a way_n but_o yet_o that_o real_o they_o have_v truth_n in_o their_o be_v represent_v distinct_o &_o clear_o to_o 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