man is composed and compacted by so much more difficulty and violently is he dissolved hence it appeareth that the separation of my body and soule was more painfull than the death of others Also my blessed flesh by how much more it was freer from all spot or blemish of sin by so much also it became more sensible of torments Now concerning my Spirituall martyrdome which I suffered in my Soule as I said before unto thee it began at such time as I was first conceived in the wombe of my mother or that my Soule was infused into my body and continued without intermission 33. yeeres and a halfe till such time as my Soule was separated from my body upon the Crosse. So as I became a Martyr even in the Wombe of my Mother Wherfore I was not so much as one moment without the most bitter martyrdome of my Spirit Because whatsoever I suffered in the Night when I was taken or the Day following when I was slaine in mocking reviling spitting nayling and stretching upon the Crosse c. This throughly and wholly my most holy Soule long before suffered But thou art especially to consider that those dolorous piercing darts of the Virgin my blessed mother became the excessivest Object of my sorrowes who having a tender and respective eye to all my dolours in perfect Charity as became the condition of her motherly excellency so much grieved for my sorrowes as was sitting for such a woman to grieve And all the sorrowes of my Mother continually wounded my mind So as my Mothers Crosse ministred unto mee a new Crosse. Another Object of my continuall sorrow was all those martyrdomes which were at any time done or to bee done upon any of mine Elect for me So as in very truth I say unto thee that all those paines griefes tribulations persecutions and miseries which any man was to suffer or should suffer aswell in body as in soule from Adam even to the very last man that shall bee borne to the end of the World all these I suffered alwayes in my Soule must fully and through my compassion they did more hurt me and more sharply grieve me than any mans corporall paine which hee actually suffereth ever personally did And there are two causes which give sufficient testimony of the truth hereof One is because I in the glasse or mirrour of my Divinity did behold all things created and to bee created things past present and to come which were to me present And I from the very first instant of the infusion of my Soule into my Body began alwayes to observe till such time as I gave up my Ghost upon the Crosse all the paines which I was to endure and whatsoever all my Elect from the beginning of the world had at any time suffered and such as being not yet borne were to suffer even to the end of the world all this I suffered in the inferiour faculties of my Soule And in each of these was I more inwardly and grievously tormented in my Spirit than any one could be in his owne proper body at such time as hee is to suffer tortures or torments Another cause which procured so great paine in my Spirit was abundant love For love begetteth griefe and heavinesse in the spirit So as by how much thy love towards me was more intensive or greater by so much more is thy soule tormented with my Death and Passion And because I have alwaies and above comparison loved thee and every man more than hee can love himselfe therefore have I suffered greater paine than all that which any one hath ever suffered upon earth or was to suffer or shall suffer to the end of the world Thou knowest that when Paul had consented to the death and stoning of Stephen and did persecute Christians I said unto him Saul Why persecutest thou me And yet he persecuted not me in my owne proper person but in the persons of my beloved friends because what good or evill soever befalleth my friends befalleâ—h me And this proceedeth from the great love which I beare unto men Thus therefore maist thou consider how and by what meanes my Passion exceeded in paine the passions of all that ever suffered or shall suffer because I suffered both in my Body and Soule and that immaculate and by nature delicate and for so long time to wit for thirty foure yeeres did I suffer martyrdom in my Spirit both for my selfe and all my Elect. Laurence in one night was broyled on a gridiron Bartholomew in one day was slaine Katherine in one houre was broken on a Wheele c. All these tortures never hurt any one of them so much in their owne bodies as they tormented me in my Soule for thirty foure yeeres Whence Isay Truly he hath suffered for our infirmities and borne our sorrowes And therefore I could never laugh but often weepe appearing as one of forty yeeres when I was scarce thirty Which came to passe by reason of the continuall Justice which I incessantly bore for my Passion that was to come and the suffering of my Elect which I alwaies clearly beheld and painfully suffered by strength of imagination Whereupon I oftimes said unto my Father Many are my grones and my heart is sorrowfull To thee likewise doe I say that thou maist bee moved with compassion and affection towards mee that my life is waxen old with heavinesse and my yeeres with mourning Sinner Surely O my good Jesu as I have heard and understood no conceit can sufficiently apprehend the depth of those anguishes and sorrowes of thy most holy Soule nor griefes and passions of thy Body But a very deepe question doth trouble my mind to wit how heavinesse paine or anguish could befall thy blessed soule seeing it was alwaies in great joy through Contemplation of thy Divinitie which was so amiable to behold that if the damned in Hell could but behold the amiable countenance of God as the blessed Spirits doe in the Kingdome of Heaven they could bee tormented by no griefe nor heavinesse either by the fire of hell or sight of the Devils in hell Christ. It is true that my pure and blessed soule was glorified albeit my Body was mortall For my Soule from the very instant of her conception and ever after even when I was upon the Crosse was as glorious and in as great joy and delight in respect of her superiour faculties as she is at this day in heaven sitting at the right hand of God my Father But in respect of her inferiour faculties she was in a continuall and incessant heavinesse and sorrow for the causes aforesaid Which could not bee by course or order of Nature that in one and the selfe-same soule together and at once there should be so great joy and so great heavinesse for this was miraculous and supernaturall Because according to the course of nature joy and delight doe expell sorrow and griefe so as they cannot suffer together in one and the
fulfill thee throughout that Where sin hath abounded grace likewise may superabound Yet I would beloved I would be trusted I would with sighs and teares be intreated than which no sweeter melody can unto me be tendred Sinner O my crucified JESU I know I am dearer to thee than I am to my selfe for to thee I am alwayes deare who as it is written Lovest all things that are and hatest nothing of those which thou hast made But man is not alwaies equally deare to himselfe as he is unro thee because hee that loveth iniquity hateth his ownâ— soule Christ. This have I shewn in the continuall sorrowes of my whole cruâ—ified life For I received the Crosse of my Passion in the Womb of my mother and continually bore it in my heart and confirmed it with much austerity in my body So as that I might purposely shew the unmeasurablenesse of the sorrowes of my soule my finall passion then approaching it was my will to sweat blood thorow all my members and that which lay hid as a secret of my crucifying from the wombe of my Mother with sensible signes to reveale to my faithfull ones which seemed fittest to be at my passage and poinâ— of death Sinner I conceive my good JESU how in that bloudy sweat with which thou wert deep-died and engrained in all thy members thy blessed soule wholly suffered because it is whole in every part of the body yea and the very life of the body But tell me what thou requirest of me for so great anguish continually sustained for me Christ. Onely to love me againe For to this end have I suffered my passion that I might purchase thy affection Sinner Surely most worthy art thou to bee loved because thou art good in thy selfe and none good but God alone And because thou art the Lord delivering from the power and slavery of the Devill And because thou art God forgiving sinnes which none forgiveth but God alone And because thou lovest those that love thee Whence it is that thou sayest I love those that love mee And because thou hearest those that begge of thee whence one saith I have loved the Lord because hee will heare mee Thou also as the peace of charity comming into the world to warme and inflame the cold and lukewarme hast said I came that they might have life to wit the life of grace in this life and more abundantly to wit of glory in the life to come Christ. Surely there is nothing which may so inflame the fire of Gods love in thy heart as a continuall consideration and meditation of this speech of mine I came that they might have life and that more abundantly And of that much like unto this So God loved the world as he gave his onely begotten Sonne Sinner Truly wretched and miserable is hee in whose heart the fire of love is not kindled when hee considereth these things wherein the Charity of God hath chiefly appeared But ô thou only begotten of God suffer not my heart to bee so frozen or benummed with this icy congelation but rather through thy mercy in the remembrance of these thy Words like Snow melting by the heat of the Sunne let me say with that princely Prophet My heart is become as melting wax Christ. Humane impiety before the time of my passion tooke occasion of being unthankfull For man being created but not as then redeemed said I am no more bound to God than other creatures be For he spake the word and I was made hee hath bestowed no more labour on me than any other brute creature But now the mouth of these that speak wickedly is stopped and no place now is left for unthankfulnesse For I have laboured more in the sole redemption of man than in the whole frame and fabrick of the World For of a Master I became a servant of Rich poore of Immortall mortall of the Word flesh of the Sonne of God the son of man I suffered reproaches of such as upbraided me I suffered underminers in my Works contradicters in my Words scorners in my Woes necessities of the flesh horrour of death ignominy of the Crosse. Sinner O how admirable was this love What shall I render to my Lord for all his sorrowes Christ. If thou recall to mind how great things the Lord of Majesty the Sonne of God suffered for thee though thou shouldâ—t dye a thousand deaths yet wert thou not equally sufficient to answer me for the estimate of so great a benefit exceedeth all meanes of requitall Sinner As thou best knowest how much I owe unto thee the Lord of glory who subjectedst thy self to death for me that I might enjoy that happinesse which neither eye hath seene nor eare hath heard recount unto me I beseech thee the reasons which caused that most dolorous paine in thy most holy soule For thou saidst right now that in the wombe of thy blessed Mother thou receivedst the Crosse of thy Passion and bore it continually to the houre of thy dissolution Christ. To this end that thou mightst by affection compassion become an acceptable sacrifice unto God wholly inflamed with the fire of Charity all the rust and rubbish of sin being consumed and wasted Consider diligently with a lively heart how I suffred a double Martyrdome one in my body another in my soule or Spirit As touching the Martyrdome of my Body consider that there was never the suffering of any martyr so sharp so painfull that it might be compared with my suffering which I will prove unto thee by authority by signe by reason First by authority For I my selfe crying out of the greatnesse of my sorrows said O all yee who passe by this way consider and see if ever there were sorrow like unto my sorrow as if I should have said there was never any Secondly by Signe Forasmuch as there were never so many Signes seene in the Martyrdome of any as at my Passion implying the sharpnesse and painfulnesse of it to wit When the Sunne was darkned the Earth moved c. As if by the dolorous clamours of my passion they had conceived a sense of devout compassion bemoning me the Son of God hanging on the Crosse. For it was not in the creature to indure the injury done to the Creatour Wherein wicked and obdurate hearts are justly reproved who will not be wrought to compassion nor softned with a pious devotion in the remembrance of my death Thirdly I prove unto thee the bitternesse of my passion by reason Forasmuch as my complexion was most excellent both by reason of the incorruption of my flesh as also by reason of the most proportionable union or mixture of the Elementary qualities For I tooke corruptible flesh of the Virgin for the freeing of all Originall sinne that is of inordinate concupiscence Now to such a complexion was required comelinesse of beauty and strength of body Because therefore by how much more proportionable the union is of those Elements and qualities whereof
of my mind For why doth my soule appointed for me only love thy Sonne why doth she thus hate mee why relinquisheth shee all things concerning me Behold how she swallowed up with the incomparable love of thy Sonne walketh as one without sense now there is nought else shee heareth nought else shee thinketh or tasteth nought else shee smelleth being alwaies desirous to rest in his armes There is shee joyed there is she cheered there abundantly delighted there made drunke with too much love is shee lodged Neither is it to be wondred at if this my Soule cleave so constantly to thy Sonne Because unlesse she were harder than stone and more insensible than iron seeing thy Sonne hath done such great things for her she can doe no lesse than this for him Yea where is that stone so hard which would not rend with the heat of so great love yea melt like wax if all these aforesaid benefits should be done it I doe not then complaine to thee O most benigne Father of my Soule for that shee hath done no more than she ought but of thy Sonne who hath so forcibly allured her with the benefits of his mercy and by that meanes left mee in so great misery An Answer of the Father to the Flesh. Cap. XV. ATtend and hearken what answer this most gracious Father makes to the Flesh. Forasmuch as thou art my creature I will shew thee Justice with Mercie Whereas then thou wert ordained to bee the Soules Hand-maid yet hadst ever a desire to play the Mistresse and demeaning thy selfe alwaies inordinatly hast caused her to serve thee and not mee by making her prone unto all evill and which is worse hast subjected her who was made after my image to the bondage of Satan Thou I say who hast made her worse than any brute beast being by thee defiled and abâ—ominably polluted yea above all darknesse blackned and so much altered as I cannot know that noble creature stamped and formed to so glorious a feature Needfull it was then because I loved her so much that was inclosed in thy Flesh that my Sonne should take Flesh upon him that so hee might allure her to his and my love And because the Soule by cleaving to thee her Flesh was become dead it was my will that my Sonne who became Flesh should be slaine for her that she might be quickned Neither was this in my Sonne any circumvention or deceiving but mine and his ineffable vouchsafing And because thou O Flesh hast done evilly ever from thy first infusion but my Sonne hath beene inflamed towards thy Soule with exceeding affection and hath wholly given himselfe up for her redemption therefore my justice exacteth many things especially that I wholly and totally resigne her unto him and that shee abhorre thee more than dung and that she desire that thou maist bee abhorred of all But forasmuch as thou hast be sought not onely my Iustice but Mercy it is my will that thou in some measure bee refreshed with that present sweetnesse which thy Soule feeleth in my Sonne yea more than all this I will hereafter endow thee most nobly and most perfectly and if thou beest truly obedient to thy Soule from henceforth deliver thee from eternall punishment and bring thee to an inheritance gloriously permanent where I live eternally resident A pithy Meditation upon this Expostulation and Answer to inflame the Soule with a devout fervour IS it so O my Soule that shee whom thou hast so daintily cockred with whom thou hast so familiarly conversed and to whom thou hast so easily consented is thy domestick Enemy and by so much more fearfull because domesticall Chastise her whoÌ„ thou hast cherished estrange thee from her with whom thou hast so freely consorted incline not to her to whose advice thou hast so freely condescended It is Ismael that playeth with thee who whilest she playes with thee playes upon thee Looke upon that gracious Shepherd who hath sought thee fix thine eye upon that precious price with which he bought thee The worth of the whole world comes farre short of the worth of that price be it then thine highest honour to advance his praise Let no sinne soile that image which is so richly beautified Let no cloud obscure that light which was so freely bestowed Hee that tooke on him Flesh for thee hee that in his Flesh suffered so much for thee hee that gave himselfe to gaine thee and shew'd himselfe so truly thine to retaine thee Let him solely and wholly have thee Suffer not thy Flesh to converse with thee till she become a true Convert in the practice of piety Better is it for thee by contempt of thy Flesh to augment thine owne honour than by obedience to thy Flesh to procure thy dishonour Short is the Fight but great is the Conquest Recoile not for thou hast him for thy Chiefetaine who hath vanquish'd that foe who to this houre hath given all Chiefetaines the foile Fight valiantly then under his banner embrace all contempts for his honour Erect the eye of thy Faith to Heaven while thou directest thy feet on Earth that after thy well-past pilgrimage on Earth thou maist bee rewarded with a lasting inheritance in Heaven Amen GENERALL Rules of living well The highest pitch of Wisdome's pieâ—y By which man 's taughâ— both how to live die EVery day drawest thou nearer than other to Death Judgement and Eternity Bethinke then with thy selfe every day how thou maist stand in the severe discussion of death and judgment and how thou maist eternally live Thou art to take an exact account of all thy thoughts words and deeds because an exact account is to be given of all thy thoughts words and deeds Thinke every evening that death is that night approaching Thinke every morning that death is that day accoasting Deferre not thy conversion nor the performance of any good action till to morrow because to morrow is uncertaine but death is ever certainly waiting There is nothing that hinders piety more than delay If thou contemne the inward calling of the holy Spirit thou shalt never come to true conversion Doe not defer thy conversion nor the practice of any religious action to thy old age but offer unto God the flower of thy youth Uncertaine is old age to the young but certaine destruction attendeth him that dieth impenitently young There is no Age more fit for the service of God than youth flourishing in abilities both of body and mind For no mans sake oughtst thou to take in hand an evill action for not that man which thou so respectedst but God in whose brest all the treasures of wisdome are stored shall in the end judge thy life Doe not then preferre any mans favour before the honour of thy Maker In the way of the Lord wee either increase or decrease Take examination then of thy life every day whether in the practice of piety thou increasest or decreasest To stand in the way of the Lord is
I can by no meanes nor measure compare mine understanding to it yet I desire in some sort to understand thy truth which mine heart beleeveth and loveth Neither doe I beleeve to understand that I may beleeve but I beleeve that I may understand For this likewise I beleeve that unlesse I beleeve I shall not understand Therefore O Lord thou who givest understanding to faith give unto mee that I may understand so much as thou knowest to be expedient for mee for thou art as wee beleeve and this thou art which wee beleeve true God who livest and reignest world without end DEAHTS Memoriall The Child of God thinkes willingly of death To rest with Him who after death gives breath NOw to shut up all with that which closeth all by imposing a Period upon all We are to consider now when the sinfull soule beginneth to be loosened from these bonds of flesh with what bitter terror shee is afflicted with what stings of a biting conscience shee is distracted Shee remembers the things forbidden her which shee hath committed Shee considers the things commanded her which shee hath negligently contemned she bemoanes those opportunate times of repentance offer'd her and which shee so fruitlesly apprehended shee bewailes that immoveable article of strict revenge inevitably approching her She h 'as had sufficient time of sojourning here shee is now compelled to goe hence Shee would regaine that which shee h'as lost but she is not heard Behind her shee beholds the whole course of her forepast life all which shee accounts as one short pace She casts her eyes upon her selfe and collects the space of an infinite perpetuity She laments therefore in that she h'as lost what in so short a space she might have got the joy of all ages She bemoanes her selfe in that for so short a pleasure of fleshly delight she h'as lost the unspeakable sweetnesse of perpetuall solace Shee blusheth in that for this substance which is subject to wormes shee h'as neglected that which was to have beene ranked amongst Quires of Angels Now she lifteth up the beames of her minde and no sooner beholdeth the glory of immortall riches than shee becomes confounded for that she h'as lost them for the poverty of this life Againe when shee casteth her eyes under her in a despicable reflex upon the valley of this world and eying it to be nothing but darknesse but above her wonders at the beautie of that eternall light she clearly sees that it was night and darknesse which shee loved O that shee might but purchase some small remainder of time for repentance what a sharp course of conversation would she take upon her what and how great things would shee promise with what vows of devotioÌ„ would shee enwreath her In the meane time while her divine eyes grow darke while her heart beats while her hoarse throat gaspes her teeth grow by little and little black and draw as it were unto them a certaine rust her countenance becomes pale and all her members stiffe While these then and such like as forerunning offices of approching death attend her all her works and words present themselves before her nay not her very thoughts are absent and all these bring in bitter testimony against their author All these are heaped together before the eyes of her viewing them so as even those things which she shunneth to behold she is inforced though against her will to take notice of Besides all this there is here an horrid troupe of Devils and there a glorious traine of Angels By that which appears betwixt them may be clearly perceived which of them h'as most property in her For if tokens of piety bee discovered in her shee is cheared with the delights of an angelick invitation and allured with the sweetnesse of an harmonious melodie to go forth But if the blacknesse of her merits and the impurity of her foule and filthy life adjudge her to the left hand presently with an intolerable terrour shee becomes surprized with the violence of a sudden force she is disturbed dejected invaded and from the prison of miserable flesh violently haled that to eternall torments with bitternesse shee may be tugged Now after her departure from the body who can utter what armed troopes or Squadrons of wicked Spirits lye in ambush for her what treacherous traines furnished with cruell tortures besiege the way that receives her And lest the soule should escape theÌ„ legions of furies as it were in military rankes or battalions inclose her This and â—uâ—h like frequently to meditate of in thine heart what else is it than to shunne delightfull blandishments to be divorc'd from the world and to shake off unlawfull motions of the flesh and constantly to retaine the sole purpose of attaining perfection Which that wee may doe God for his mercy grant us Amen Sedeo Sileo Signo Deaths distinction O My soule good is the death of the just in respect of tranquillity better in respect of novelty best in respect of security Contrariwise the death of sinners is the worst and rightly the worst evill in losing the world worse in parting from the flesh but worst in that twofold anâ— guish of a worme never dying and a fire ever burning and which is worst of all in being deprived of divine contemplation HOLY MEMORIALS Or Heavenly Memento's Memor fui Domini Delectatus sum A bono die bonum opus suscipiamus ab illo die in quo veluti Christus ascenderit piis desideriis ascendamus Of his Conception MEMORIALL I. I Was not and thou didst make mee I had no being and thou gave it mee I was conceived in sinne before I conceived what was Sin Nature laid on mee a staine before she brought mee to a visible state My bloud was corrupted before ever I entred Tainted it was when Eve was tempted and weakely consented Thus did my parents make mee forlorne before ever I was borne Even then wheÌ„ the second skin was my coat was Sin my Cognizance Seeds of sin sprung in mee before the Light tooke notice of mee And these had their rooting from those that bred mee Long before I had abilitie to sin were all my members made instruments of sinne Before I had the use of any sense sin had made a slave of every sense For mine eyes while they were as yet sealed sights of sin had enter'd theÌ„ For mine eares though they were as then closed ayres of sin had pierced them For my taste before I enjoy'd it an Apple had poyson'd it For my Touch before I employ'd it had Eves pulse soiled it For my Smell before I knew how to use it had the steames of earth choaked it I was shut up as one in darknesse and darke I was within as well as without by means of mine originall uncleanenesse I conversed with none none with mee my mothers wombe was that living tombe which inclosed mee Thus before ever I saw the Sun became I a growing lump of sin