into a serpent would soone deuoure ours and if our earthen vessells should encounter with thine stronger then brasse how can they escape breaking must not our weake ships if driven with the tempest of thine anger they fall vpon that rocke of thine be needs grinded into their owne elements of dust Therefore be mercifull vnto mee O Lord because I am weake The strong will arrogate the glorie to themselues and say by the strength of their owne arme they haue gotten themselues the victorie but in shewing mercie to the weake not vnto them but vnto thy name thou giuest glorie For there are none so reprobate but in thy mercie to the weake they will confesse that it is the finger of the Lord. Let not then the sun-shine of thy grace go downe in thy wrath but refresh and releeue a pore Lazar a weak fainting soule lying begging at the doore of thy rich mercie and desiring to be satisfied but with the crummes that fal from thy heauenly table with the least if any little of thy graces For thy least grace as those fiue loaues is able to suffice thousands as thy least anger if thy mercie should not meete and kisse it were enough as an other deluge to ouerwhelme the whole world That is the two-edged sword that pierceth the very bones and diuideth vnto the marrow so that for selfe-guiltines and horrour therof my very bones are vexed and euen that small strength I had powred out as water vpon the ground It is only the powring out of thy bowels of compassion that can gather me vp againe onely the soueraigne hand of thy mercie that can heale the wounds wherewith the seuere hand of thy iustice hath so deepely impierced me Vers. 3. My soule is also sore troubled but Lord how long wilt thou punish IF thy lightning O Lord had onely ceazed on my bones and had not past my bodily sheath and entred into my soule my spirit like a faithfull companion should haue giuen some rest to my earthly tabernacle and helpt to heale my infirmitie but a wounded spirit in a bruised and broken bodie who can beare Thou hast melted my very soule within mee the venime of thine arrowes hath drunke vp my spirits so that now both my bodie is vexed because my soule hides it selfe from his comfort and because thou hidest thy face my soule is troubled And in what waters doth that Behemoth delight to drinke but in such as are most troubled who nowe like a cunning fisher hath laid his baites and hooks in euery part of my soule while I in these troubled waters am not able to discerne or discouer them but since thou hast sent thine Angel O Lord as into the poole of Bethesda to trouble the waters and they are gone ouer my soule and my bodie with Ionas is cast into the tempest O let me come out in thy good time whole and recured of all my infirmities let the tempest of thine anger be at lēgth appeased How long shall my sacrificed soule vnder this altar of flesh wherein it hath been so long crucified cry vnto thee how long Lord holy and true before thou wilt heare the voice and auenge the cause of our martyred spirits iustly complaining against the men of the earth our earthly ly members Thine answer is but for a little season but euen a little time O Lord semeth long without thee and as a thousand yeares is but a day with thee so a day is as a thousand yeares without thee But is this a question for me who can make no ende of sinning to aske when thou wilt be pleased to make an ende of thy punishment May not thy answer be to me iustly the same with that of Iehu to sinfull Ahabs motion of peace what hast thou to doe with peace as long as the iniquities of Iesabel nay farre worse remaine in thee True Lord if thou still looke on me with the eie of thy iustice which is as those eies which kill what they behold I knowe thou must needes still punish me since the bow and sword of thy iustice neuer depart emptie from the battells of the Lord against sinne and sinners but thou hast two eies O God one of Iustice another of Mercie O let thine eie of Iustice looke vpon the merits of thy Sonne an obiect able to delight euen that iust eie but bend thine eie of mercie vpon the miseries of thy seruant that so when thy iustice hath seene my miseries made his his merits by thy mercie maie be made mine Vers. 4. Turne thee O Lord and deliuer my soule O saue me for thy mercie sake IF thou but turne thee O Lord and looke gratiously out of heauen vpon me the powers of darkenesse with the shadowes of death will at thy first fight as at the daie breaking flie all away but because I turned from thee with my Father the first Adam by pride and returned not vnto thee by humility with thy Sonne the second Adam but would needes leaue Ierusalem to goe to Iericho therefore am I fallen among theeues who haue spoiled and wounded me leauing me nothing but a cureles bodie and a carelesse soule that sending out perpetuall streames and issues of blood readie presently to die this not knowing but denying thee his Maker by whome onely it is able to liue O if thou wouldst but turn aside with the mercifull Samaritan or turne backe as to the woman diseased with a fluxe of blood or turne thine eie onely vpon me as vpon Peter my wounds should be washed the issues of blood stopped and my deniall pardoned Turne thee therefore and remember Dauids troubles O Lord. Shall the hand of little Dauid O thou most mightie if a rauenous beare breake into his flocke and steale awaie a sheepe or if a roaring Lion sallie out of his denne and rent awaie a lambe from him be able to deliuer them both from the mouth of the beare and the pawe of the Lion and shalt not thou be much more able to rescue the sheepe of thy fold and lambs of thy flocke Or is that wild beast of the wood or that roaring lion that going about hath long sought and now while thy face is turned away hath found whome to deuoure euen my dismaied soule able to make greater resistance against thee then those against Dauid Or was his Flocke dearer to him thē thine is to thee Or can Dauid become more mercifull then his God Or if thou be that gratious God of whom Dauid hath so often sung that Thy mercie endureth for euer thy mercie endureth for euer is thy mercie come now vtterly to an end or hast thou forgotten to be gratious and shut vp thy bowells of compassion for euer and euer Or what is it is my sinne greater then it can be forgiuen that so my wickednesse should exceed thy goodnesse No no none of these If David deliuered his lambe from the pawe of the beare thou deliueredst Dauid frō the pawe of the Lion if he
let my soule therefore euer magnifie thy holy name because thou hast ruised mee out of the dust to stand before thee and hast shewed mee the light of thy countenance and let mine eyes see thy saluation To be a seruant of Seruants was once a curse but to be a seruant of one of thy seruants is one of the highest blessings thou thy selfe beeing Lord of all deigning to serue thy Seruants washing their feete and it beeing an office wherein thy blessed Angels doe reioyce But howsoeuer it is an honourable calling yet it is vnto thee a seruice and not vnto ease or pleasure Those that are in Princes Courts may goe in soft rayment and liue at their ease but not so they that serue in thy Courts O Lord. Thy selfe didst begin thy preaching with a fast of fourtie daies and didst enioyne to all that did follow thee to leaue all earthly pleasures which together with the world they were to forsake in stead thereof to take vp thy crosse that so thy members maybe conformable vnto their head Men are all borne to labour as a spark to flie vpwards it is a curse that followed mans fall but to labour in thy vineyard is a blessing following mans repayring and redemption to keepe and dresse thy Paradise thy inclosed garden as it was Adams charge in the happie estate of his innocencie so is it now the Ministers after the happie restoring thereof Thy vineyard laie desolate and the wild bore of the forrest spoyled it but thou hast new digged planted and hedged it and built a Tower therein and thou hast set it forth at a price to thy Ministers to be the Keepers thereof wherefore if it yeeld thee not the fruit or doe not well entreate thy seruants or suffer it to grow wast they can looke for no other but to be cast thence out of thy paradise Not without a cause did thy seruants reioyce that they were thought worthy to suffer for thy sake and thy Martyrs gladly shed their blood for the seed of thy Church and to water what thou hadst planted Thy first grace to thy seruant Paul after thou hast chosen him for a vessell of thine honour was to shew him what great things he should suffer for thy sake as thou hast done before for ours but alas let vs doe what we can or suffer whatsoeuer we are able for Christs sake yea though we should laie downe our liues for him or his sheepe as hee for vs and them yet weare we but vnprofitable seruants Neuerthelesse as blessed were the pappes that gaue thee suck so blessed also are those whom thou hast made the Nources of thy Church to giue them meate in due season blessed the wombe that bare thee and so that which beares thy children the wombe indeed that bare the Lord was deliueuered without paine or labour but thy children must be borne with labour and trauell and the Ministers are as it were daily to trauaile in birth with such as are begotten by them vnto thee but they soone forget their trauaile and reioyce so that children be borne vnto thee and thou makest them fruitfull and takest away the reproach of their barrennesse I know Lord I am no more able to doe the seruice then thou hast need of my seruice and yet since it hath pleased thee thogh all-sufficient and all-powerfull of thy selfe to vse the weake things of this world as thine instruments thereby the more to manifest thy power able to worke by the most vnlikely meanes I humbly and willingly yeeld my selfe as if I were euen nowe in thiâ—e hands new to be framed and created as clay to the hands of the Potter to be made whatsoeuer vessel either of honour or dishonour yea though it weare to be an Anathema to thy seruice For now that I haue 〈◊〉 my hand to the plough for the tilling of that good ground wherein the seed of thy word is to be sowne I may not looke backe to Sodome to the world whence thou hast called mee but wholy intend the worke thou hast set me to doe Thy seruants must know they are vnder a Taskmaster though a righteous one vnlike those of Egypt that will duely and daily exact their work of them and see that hauing straw giuen them they make bricke for the building of thy house and multiplie the Talents committed vnto them And now there is a woe for me if I preach not the Gospel and that sincerely not can I vnlesse I will be worse then Baalim for a world goe farther then thy holy word will warrant mee Graunt O Lord that my delight be wholy in thy word that I may thinke alwaies I therein heare thee speaking and as thy sheepe knowing thy voice may follow the sheapheard of my soule whether soeuer hee call mee O let not the booke of thy holy word I beseech thee be a sealed book vnto mee but thou that hast the key of Dauid the Lambe that art onely found worthie to open it vnfold it and giue me an vnderstanding heart which aboue all things hauing vndertaken so great a charge I desire with Salomon that I may be a right dispenser of thy holy word and go out and in before thy people For I knowe Lord they which will preach in thy name if thou send them not and assist them are but like those who without authority from thee would cast out deuils in thy name which prevailed against them yea euen those whom thou hast called and set apart to thy ministerie if they do not wel and abide in thee and thou in them the deuill will enter into them as he did into Iudas and make them the sonnes of perdition tenne times worse theÌ„ before Giue me grace therefore first to direct mine owne wayes according to the dictat of thy holy Spirit and word that beginning with my selfe and so speaking out of the treasure and abundance of my heart and knowing the things which belong to saluation I may be blessed if I doe them let me first worke out myne owne saluation with feare trembling and so saue both my selfe and others least otherwise I be beaten with many stripes First O Christ make the vessel newe make me a new man and then put in new wine turne thou my water to wine And because thy Ministers are as the eies of thy mysticall and militarie bodie for as thou art the light of theÌ„ so they are the light of the world O let there be no beames in their eyes who are to be eyes to the blind but make their verie feete to shine as the starres in the firmament make them conuert many to righteousnesse and beeing first guided by thee the bright morning starre let them become themselues starres also though shining in the night and with thy beames to guid and direct others to the house of the Lord that so hauing found the Messias they may wiâ—h the wise men noise it abroad and cause others as Philip did Nathaniel to come
as shadow but I haue fallen and defaced it that now it cannot be knowne whose image and superscription it is and now that the beautie of my flourishing is gone what remaineth but the old man full of the wrinkles and furrowes and frosts of Winter so exceedingly deformed and so great a malefactor that it is time for him now to die and I may with iustice crie Crucifie him In this is the description of the naturall old man rightly verified in a spirituall sence The Sunne of righteousnesse is darkned in him and the clouds returne after the raine one sinne after an other one miserie after an other the keepers of the house tremble the strong men bowe and they waxe darke that look out of the windowes faith is weake hope fainteth and charitie faileth O graunt O Lord that as the Eagle reneweth her youth I may cast off this old man and put on the new Iesus Christ thine and thy Churches welbeloued whose countenance is all white and ruddie the fairest of ten thousand so exceeding aspectable that it is able to change this vile body whose beautie is quite gone and worn away and make it like his glorious bodie Vers. 8. Away from me all yee that worke vanitie for the Lord hath heard the voice of my weeping BEhold here how the Lord after his whirlewinde that tore all the mountains of pride in me and burst in sunder my heart of rocke commeth at length in the still and soft voice The Lord hath wounded but loe he bindeth vp againe hee hath brought vnto the graue loe hee bringeth backe againe For whē my tongue failed I spake vnto him in the silence of my soule and when my soule fainted mine eies flowed out with teares to speake vnto him and loe he hath answered the request of my heart heard the voice of my weeping Now therefore since the Lord deigneth to come vnto me in his mercie and build vp my ruines and dwell with mee againe what haue I to do with my olde companions the workers of iniquitie shall they and my God keepe together or shall I entertaine my Soueraigne Lord with such houshold seruāts no they shal not enter into my house or come within my roofe Nowe the Sunne is risen it is time these shadowes were parted away For neither can thy light dwell with darkenes nor their works of darknes abide the triall of thy light Therefore away from me both all ye workers and all yee workers of vanitie I knowe Lord there will be a hard parting between my olde pleasures and my old heart the syrens will sing many a sweete song and cast many a faire looke and weepe many a false teare before they will part with me but it is no matter what the Harlots do since thou hast heard the voice of my weeping I haue nothing to doe with the voice of theirs since my voice vttered in the bitternesse of my heart was so well accepted of thee nothing shall henceforth pleasure me but such bitter songs wherewith they are litle acquainted though I cannot cast out these Iebusites but they will still dwell with me yet thorough thy grace I will keepe them in subiection and if they grow insolent in my bodie the temple of thy holy Spirit I wil weep for their sinnes and so crying daily vnto thee with teares for pardon wil make them serue me at the least to draw water for the house of the Lord. O that I could make an integrall separation of my self from them and might not carrie my greatest enemies in my bosome so neere my heart the lusts of it but in stead of that fountaine of death be ioyned vnto the Fountaine of life Christ Iesus in whome there is so vnseparable an vnion betweene God and man that neither death nor hell no not the strongest things of this world weake vnto thee much lesse the weakest the vanities thereof can euer be able to separate vs from thee Vers. 9. The Lord hath heard my petition The Lord will receiue my prayer IT is a great grace of thee O my Lord to suffer dust and ashes to speake vnto thee but it is as common with thee as it is great For thou sufferest many to say vnto thee Lord Lord whome neuerthelesse thou knowest not It is a greater therefore that when we call vpon thee in the time of trouble thou wilt heare vs and yet this also may seeme to be not so singular a mercie for whatsoeuer is spoken shall not he that made the eare heare it but so to heare our praiers as to receiue and grant them and then to heare the crie of our petitions when the lowder crie of our sinnes would drowne their voice this is a goodnes as neere vnto thy nature as it is far from our desert O how vnlike are thy eares that are alwaies open to the request of the poore and needie to those of the deaf Adder that old Serpent that stoppes his eares and is inexorable charme the charmer neuer so sweete how vnlike to vs O Lord that hauing eares yet whē thou callest for our obedience haue none to heare thee where contrariwise thou hauing none when we call to thee inclinest thine eares to heare vs. But certenly O Lord it is impossible that thy iust eares should heare the praiers of such as we are for we know God heareth not sinners True Lord and therefore thou hast got thee new eares and least we should thinke these like thy other hast set them euen vpon our Head Iesus Christ with them thou hearest vs if we speak vnto thee and our words passing through his mouth as how can we speak vnto thee but by our head are set on fire by that Golden censor and like holy incense make a sweet sauour vpon thine Altar So that henceforth though our workes be all like our selues wicked though our rough hands be the hands of Esau yet our voice is Iacobs voice and wee haue got the apparrell of our eldest brother Esau and therefore we know that thou wilt blesse vs we are sure thou wilt heare vs and spare vs though more sinnefull then euer Sodome was What though Abraham Moses and Elias were now liuing and prayed for vs we are sure thou wouldst much lesse heare them for vs then for their and thine owne people of the Iewes yet thou hast heard him for vs and without conditioning as with Abraham for the sparing of Sodome if fiftie twentie or ten iust men were found therein hast spared vs all onely for one iust mans sake In him therefore with boldnesse doe all thy Saints offer vp their golden vyals of odours their prayers before thee For hee onely is worthy to make our prayers well-pleasing vnto thee in whom only thou art well pleased Vers. 10. All mine enemies shall be confounded and sore vexed they shall be turned backe and put to shame suddainely BEhold the bountie and seueritie of God seueritie towards mine enemies that haue fallen bowntie towards mee
that when I and they stood before thine Altar as the two Goats one of vs to be sacrificed to appease thy wrath and as Ionas with the Marriners in the tempest of thine anger one of vs to be cast out hast pleased to let the lot of the scape-goate fall on mee and to make them the sin-offring Nor weart thou content O Lord to repaie mee good for euill that rendered thee euill for good but after thou hadst pardoned me thou wouldst not pardon mine enemies as though thou hatest thy childrens enemies more then thine owne and louest them better then thy selfe giuing thy selfe for them when they were thine enemies and when we for want of spirituall senses had no sence of our spirituall wants then redeeming vs but confounding and sore vexing and suddainly turning backe and putting to a perpetuall shame those that hate vs and not vs that hated thee Now Lord taught by thy example that art so good to thine enemies and hauing thine owne word for it I cannot but loue mine enemies and pray for them that curse mee If it be a fault or a folly as the world esteemes it thou hast taught it mee and I would willingly erre with thee my God it is inough for the Disciple to be as his Master is But yet there are some of mine enemies I confesse that made mee first an enemie vnto thee O Lord whom I hate with a perfect hatred who are growne now so ill as they are past my prayers and haue gone further then thy mercie will follow them euen into the gates and mouth of hell that gap't so wide to deuoure me with thē O let the sword of thy Iustice be drunkē vvith the slaughter of these great arch-enemies of thy innocent little flock blessed be my Lord for carrying away like Samson the gates of hel that they should not preuaile ouer mee and so leading my captiuitie captiue and casting my soules enemies into the pit they had prepared for me Many farre greater starres and fairer lights then I O God hath the taile of that dragon dravvne dovvne after him from heauen hadst not thou to vvhom onely the fame belongeth taken my cause into thine ovvne hand I had also been vvinnovved caried like dust and chaffe before the wind Therefore as thou hast broken these mine enimies in peices so also scatter them that the peices of the mangled Serpent may neuer come together againe O let not the deadly vvound of the head of the beast be healed to make vvarre against thy Saints and against the Lambe for euer His daily Sacrifice HOw commeth it to passe O Lord that thou art so mindefull of man man beeing so forgetfull of thee Sure but that mercie is essentiall vnto thee and thou canst assoone forget to bee as forget to bee gratious it were impossible but such a man of sinnes and sorrovves as I am rather a vvorme and no man or more truly dust and ashes and none of all thy liuing creatures nothing indeed but a verie bundle of vanitie vanitie of vanities should dispaire of pardon and thinke my sinnes greater then they could be forgiuen I that haue seconded the first fall of man vvith so many fallings from thy grace and if that one were so powerfull to condemne all ah what are so many to conuince one I that haue as often denyed thee in my deeds as I haue sinned and that not thrice not seuen times but seauēty seauen times in a day I that haue so often when thou hast by thy graces come in and lodged with me for a vile price of base peasures betraied thee I that whereas I should haue mortified the old man and crrucified the lusts thereof so oft haue grieued thy good spirit and crucified the Lord of life within me and so buried and sealed him vp in an obdurate and stonie heart that it must be a great worke of thy power and mercie to rise againe in me and rowle away the stone I that haue thus filled vp my measure of iniquitie with Sodō how dare I with Abrahā so often mooue the Lord for mercie I that haue so often rebelled how can I hope to be receiued again to grace and pardon I that haue no other plea but guiltie how dare I importune the iust iudge vnlesse as that woman did the vniust iudge for iustice Hath my best seruice vnto thee been betthen theirs who kneeling saluting thee haile king of the Iewes yet crucified thee wherein haue my prayers and teares been better then those of the hypocritall Pharisies onely seeming for a time and so full of sinne that when I haue praied for forgiuenes I had neede pray again for forgiuenes of my prayers Ah my wretched soule mocke not thy Sauiour any longer with thy kneeling and prayers like those soldiers that crucified him thou hast gone alreadie further then Iudas not onely betraying him but beeing which he denied to be guiltie of the shedding of his innocent blood think with thy selfe how oft thou hast grieued his holy spirit turning the grace thereof into wantonnes how oft thou hast when he of this mercie had healed thee presently fallen into a relaps far worse then thy former disease how oft thou hast walowed thy self again in the mire when hee had washt not thy feete onely but thy head and hands also how oft when thy heauenly Physition had purged thee returned to thy vomit And now Lord with what fig leaues shall I couer the shame of my sinne since I know thou hast cursed the fig-tree that bore leaues only Oh tell mee how with the Prodigall shall I returne to my Father or if I doe returne say hast thou any more kisses and embraces lest for such a riotous Sonne If the mountaines which yet offended not did tremble and melt away at thy presence and if euen thy holiest Saints at thy presence fell downe to the groūd almost for dead troubled and amazed saying surely they should die because they had seene the Lord if the Cherubins that stand alwaie before thee couer their faces looking but vpon thy Mercie-seate O with what face shall a guiltie soule come before thee when it appeares before thy seate of iustice Haue I not reason to hate my sinnes that are able to make the sight of thee which is so amiable and beatificall and to thy happie seruants a vision wherein their whole felicitie consists so full of horrour to mee O how the verie thought thereof confounds mee and as if now like Balthazar I sawe the handwriting against mee makes mee tremble and stand amazed smiting my knees one against another what can I say for my selfe or what can I doe what sinne-offring what peace-offering shall I bring to make attonement with the Lord what Moses or Aaron haue I to stand betweene Gods destroying Angel and mee whom haue I to make intercession for mee I dare not approach to my Sauiour whom my sinnes may iustly make of a meeke Lambe an enraged Lion vnto