worst room in thy House is too good even for the best of us yet decency of place may be taken with modesty if not sought with emulation During the time of this holy dispensation I will call my thoughts unto a strict attendance and make it part of my precedent prayer that I may Satan is ever most busie when our intentions are most holy which when he cannot divert he labours to corrupt and by this means when I desire to grow better I become worse How carefull ought I to be to avoyd his cunning who can couzen me in my best actions My soul shall more delight it self with the matter than my ears with the melody of thy sacred Notes Church-musick will be then truly sweet unto me when mine outward joy is subservient to mine inward Mans sinfull weakness shall not make me slight thy holy Ordinance If my Pastor have failings I will pity and pray for him but not despise him If I look into mine own soul I shall there find work enough to repair mine own ruins This Lord shall rather move me to extoll thy mercy in upholding mine own steps to lament the sadness of my Brothers misery Lord let me never think my self better than another because I know not how soon I may become worse I shall willingly continue in that Fold where thou hast placed me and hope to remain there with comfort till thou shalt lead me out with safety While I am at thy feeding I am happy one of thy morsels well digested with humility and thankfulness will yeeld me better nourishment than that other food of mine own finding The very meanest of thy Ministers may afford me Patience and that heavenly Grace with thy blessing to boot is a great advantage If I receive thy Sacred Word with cheerfulness with earnestness of heart my obedience shall be accepted my zeal rewarded While I am within thy walls I shall account that gesture most decent that is most humble and those ceremonies most necessary that are most suitable to obedience all matters of Doctrine which are necessary to salvation ought to be guided by thy sacred Word which is the onely rule of faith all matters of Discipline which are necessary onely to obedience are therefore left to thy Churches care that as thou art one so thy Church may be one in that blessed union of love which is the bond of peace And now O Lord if thou shalt call me to a strict account for all my misdemeanours in thy sacred Worship with what confusion of face must â—needs appear before thee How many evill suggestions how many idle imaginations how many sinfull objects have I often entertained to divert my thoughts from thy service I have too often sinned in absenting thy House but more often and more grievously in frequenting it by coming carelesly and out of custome by unbeseeming gestures cold prayers heartlesse hearing profane scoffing curious censuring and even in the best of my performances by serving thee my God by halves all this I heartily bewail and earnestly desire thy pardon and forgivenesse for it Lord let this daies rest of my body bring to my remembrance that eternall rest of my soul let me not now think mine own thoughts speak mine own words doe mine own actions but come before thee with a sanctified and humble soul with a wounded and contrite spirit Repell all evill suggestions remove all idle imaginations divert all sinfull objects enlighten mine understanding rectify my will strengthen my memory subdue mine affections that I may rejoyce in thy love delight in thy law long for thy presence rely on thy promises thirst for thy grace and be for ever blessed in thy glory Amen CHAP. 6. Upon our returning from Gods House and the neglect of private duties Lord HE that knoweth thee will undoubtedly delight to serve thee if I call thy Sabbath a delight my thoughts in this day will be pure my words gratious mine actions holy That soul which cannot joyfully familiarize it self with thee in this life may well be fearfull to be seen of thee in that to come When I seriously consider what a rich favour I enjoy how great a distance I am at from thee my God how sweet a mercy thou affordest me to speak unto thee I cannot but confesse mine own unworthinesse if I regard not what I hear if I rejoyce not to recall thy blessed words to my remembrance How dreadfull was that voyce that spake in thunder and how severe the words that then were spoken how blessed is this still musick of the Gospell and how delightfull to my wounded spirit Lord let this raise my soul above the reach of earthly vanities let this encourage me to heavenly chearfullnesse in heavenly duties to be joyfull in reading fervent in prayer frequent in meditation constant in all That knowledg wil make wofully wise which teacheth me to know and not to do thy will Meditation is the life of Hearing Practice the life of Meditation and a sincere heart the life of Practice When I look into my life past I find it to be all sin when I consider of my life present I cannot but confesse it to be all shame I am still so far from growing better that I am become much worse this is that blessed day which concerneth my peace if I embrace not this happy opportunity I may justly fear these gratious offers will be hid for ever from mine eyes each word that I heard thy day is of weight if I become not more holy by my heavenly improvements by it I shall certainly become sinfull by my carelesse neglecting of it Thy work O Lord will have its end and this end either to my happinesse or ruine shall assuredly promote thy glory there is no vacuity in nature with thee the God of nature there can be none Think therefore O my soul that this daies instruction may be thy last as thou hopest for heaven let it not passe thee without some profit Consider seriously how many millions of worlds one lost soul would give to be restored to thy condition that to morrow thou mayest be as one of them and then judge how great will be thy folly how wofull thy misery if thou triflest with those sacred counsels which concern thy rest O thou God of infinite compassions look not upon those infinite failings of my sinfull nature but behold me in the beauty and perfection of thy blessed Son Teach me O Lord to see the rebellion of mine own wicked heart by his perfect obedience my sinfulnesse by his righteousnesse my misery by his mercy Forgive my many and sinfull compliances of nature which have made me a stranger to thy graces and mine own happinesse The great neglect of mine obedience unto thy commands hath justly called for the great and heavy load of mine afflictions the carelesse withdrawing of mine affections from thee my God hath occasioned the sad departings of thy holy Spirit from me O that my losse of tears
their help much more vain for who can ransome the soul of his brother surely man must let that alone for ever My substance is a meer shadow and my rest unquietness I labour for holiness but I cannot attain it I search for happiness but I cannot find it the Devill beguiles me of it the World allures me from it yea so sad is my condition that mine own soul is against mine own contentment Mine understanding cosens me mine affections betray me my memory forsakes me those things which I would doe I cannot and I daily doe those things which I would not all that I am all that I can be in this life is nothing else but extreme vanity What shall I think of all this and wherewith shall I comfort me by thy mercy Lord I have found out one that can relieve me Thou O my blessed Saviour art unto me life and by thee death is unto me advantage while my body sleeps it shall rest and that rest shall be truly blessed I shall rest from labour from sorrow from sin my sleep shall be safe my vision happy while my body sleepeth my soul shall awake when my soul is uncloathed of flesh and my flesh of beauty my spirit shall be made ready with the robes of glory while my dust is insensible my spirit is intelligible mine eyes shall be then opened and I shall see even as I am seen with purity and perfection of soul no veil of nature shall obscure me no defect of organes hinder me no clouds of sin molest me mine understanding shall be clear mine affections pure my memory perfect I shall there be satisfied in beholding ravished in injoying blessed in reteining nothing can be there wanting where I enjoy all that was that is that is to come where the happy humanity is eternally united to the blessed deity where I am Christs and Christ is Gods O happy condition of my sinfull body O blessed change of my immortall soul the one is sowen in corruption that it may rise to immortality the other layeth down corruption to inher it glory though I now leave it I still long to enjoy it and joy exceedingly in longing for it because I know I shall for ever be united to it But wo is me even in this happiness I am still miserable I have found out my quiet but I care not to enjoy it death offers me a crown and I refuse to accept it am I so sensless to affect mine own unhappiness to rejoyce in labour and complain of rest what doe I here any longer the world loves me not nor I it why do I thus dote upon mine enemy when it frowns it afflicts me when it smiles it betrayes me there is nothing in it but weariness and misery Go out therefore O my soul go out cheerfully from thy prison to thy palace God is thy father and heaven thy country thou art here distressedly poor and wretchedly naked bereaved of graces dispoyled of goodness thou hast there much treasure and of great price a fair mansion and a goodly heritage Christ hath purchased it and is gone before to prepare it Thou longest much in this life to behold that which thou never sawest here are great and glorious things prepared for thee such as eye hath not seen ear hath not heard neither have entred into the heart of man to conceive how earnestly shouldst thou long to see them how much more earnestly to enjoy them how willingly should this make thee to express thy self with holy David and say My soul is athirst for God yea even for the living God when shall I come and appear before the presence of my God Alass my soul thou art here but groping in the dark daily erring and mistaking hourly stumbling and salling into sin into shame into sorrow in great danger of the miseries of life in greater of the torments of eternall death All that thou knowest here is to know thy self ignorant Thou onely knowest things here by their events thou shalt there know them in their first causes thou art here wearied out in gaining this imperfect lame and empty knowledge thou shalt there delight thy self in knowing all that is desirable by knowing him in whom are all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge these drops of transitory joyes are full of bitterness those rivers of eternall pleasures are derived from the fountain of eternall sweetness thou hast here vain pomp to delight thee thou hast there a far greater and more exceeding weight of glory to encompass thee thou art here enthralled by the misery of life thou art there inlarged by the blesedness of death Blessed Lord all this by grace I know and saithfully believe and yet by nature I am still blind and ignorant unable to discern unwilling to desire those blessed things which are belonging to mine everlasting peace but when thou in thy rich mercy shalt once open mine eyes to see the beauty of my heavenly home I shall then entirely love it and unfeignedly long for it I shall then most willingly forsake these tottering walls of my frail flesh to dwel with thee in pâ—rfect holiness and endless happiness that frailty may be swallowed up of immortality and immortality may be imbraced by eternity O thou which wert and art to come who hast sweetned death by thy perfect obedience and perfumed the grave by thy blessed sufferings suffer me not in my last hour for any pains of death or terrors of hell to fall from the fast hold of a true and lively faith in thy promises to lose the precious hopes of immortality and sweet enjoyments of eternity Lord let me then say with thy blessed Apostle That I know whom I have trusted that he will keep what I have delivered to him and restore it safely unto me at that day Let me seriously consider of the misery of life and blessedness of death acquaint me every day with the remembrance of it and bless me every hour with a desire unto it that I may willingly uncloath my self of sin and misery and joyfully be cloathed upon with immortalitie O Lord prepare me for that blessed hour and in my greatest weakness and extremity even then when all the comforts of this wretched life shall fail me Lord Jesus forsake me not be not thou far from me O give me then that inward joy that blessed comfort of thy holy Spirit that may support and comfort me in all the terrors and amazements of this dark and unknown passage in all the dreadfull accusations of the devill and mine own accusing conscience Lord let thy blessed Spirit then witness to my soul that I am thy child that thou wilt purge away all my dross and take away all my sins that I am powerfully protected by thy grace and shall assuredly be made partaker of thy glory Amen CHAP. 36. Upon the great Neglect of Opportunities in doing good unto the Saints Lord WHen I call to mind the richness and the largeness of thy bounty
thee Lord as this holy motion came from thy heavenly Spirit so enable me to the performance of it by thy grace to thy glory and my soules eternall comfort I vow my self a serious and professed enemy to all ungodlinesse no sinfull thought shall surprise me without a sorrowfull sigh no ungracious word pass me without a sudden retractation and devout confession no wicked action defile me without a sincere and godly humiliation unto each measure of sin I will allow a due measure of sorrow those sins that have been reigning over me shall at set houres be constantly revenged by me and as my body hath been a deep sharer in my sinnes so it shall allso be a dayly sharer in my sufferings I will at set seasons deny my self somewhat of these outward enjoyments which thou Lord in mercy hast allowed me as a true sign of my true sorrow for that sinfull excess which I have too often taken without thine allowance Those sinfull houres which have been vainly lost in idlenesse and emptinesse shall be willingly redeemed in a constant observation of religious duties no day shall passe me without a solemn and devout task of devotion no hour without some sweet ejaculation And when at any time the troubles and disturbances of this frail life shall deny me happy opportunities for these heavenly performances what is wanting in act shall be made up in desire which thou Lord I trust wi lt graciously accept and look upon as done because faithfully intended O thou infinitely wise and for ever blessed being that art truly and eternally happy without the sinfull service of thy creature and yet commandest us to serve thee for our own sakes that we allso may be happy in thee thou that lovest not a false and fickle heart nor delightest in the sacrifise of fooles give me a wise and understanding heart that I may seriously consider of this sacred Vow give me a constant and religious heart that I may chearfully perform what I have faithfully promised give me a broken and a contrite heart that I may bitterly bewail what I have foolishly neglected that thy great name may be glorified my sinfull life amended my conscience quieted my spirit comforted thy Saints delighted thine Angels rejoyced and my soul and body eternally saved in the great and dreadfull day of the Lord Jesus to whom with thee O blessed Father and thine holy Spirit be all possible praise and honour and glory now and for ever Amen CHAP. 40. Upon the blessed condition of Gods Saints with motives and encouragements unto Godliness Lord To close up these imperfect lines as I began with that beauty of holinesse which thou thy self art and is essentially contained in thee so my soules desire is to end with that blessednesse which we thy Saints enjoy even in this vale of misery and is eternally derived from thee that so I may begin and end with thee who art the beginning and end of thy creature that I may lead thy servants from the pure fountain of true holinesse to the sweet streames of inward happinesse wherein we may securely bath our weary soules in rest and quietnesse untill thy gracious goodnesse shall conduct us home unto the full fruition of those joyfull rivers of thine endlesle pleasure I am no sooner entred upon this blessed search but I find my soul ravished with admiration at the greatnesse with apprehension of the goodnesse with contemplation of the freenesse of thy love and favour towards me I see thee the great and glorious God of heaven and earth from all eternity out of thine own gracious goodnesse without all possibility in me when I was not either of desiring or deserving this inestimable love of thine electing me in Christ of whom thou hadst no need from whom thou couldst receive no benefit unto holynesse and happinesse in this life and unto blefsednesse in that to come and as I find this love of thine to be purely simply admirably and eternally great so is it also truly necessarily sufficiently and permanently good If it were not truly good it could never make me truly happy if not necessarily good I might then enjoy happinesse without it if not sufficiently good my happinesse enjoyed by it could not afford me satisfaction in it if not permanently good what I enjoy in satisfaction I may want in perfection by being suddainly removed from it But thou O Lord hast graciously afforded me all these degrees of happinesse that I might be truly and eternally happy that I might be happy in thee because there is no attainining happinesse but by thee that I may be happy in soul and happy in body happy in life and happy in death happy here and happy hereafter Thou O my blessed Saviour art sweeter unto me than all sweetnesse thou art that blessed All-sufficiency by which I am both fully and for ever satisfied thou art my safe repose my inviolable peace my rich rest my safety in life my comfort in death my glory after death By thy patient sufferings I am more than conqueror of sin of sorrow of death of hell by thy glorious resurrection I have assured hope of immortality by thy blessed ascention of eternall glory by the one thou hast powerfully defended me against the rage and malice of devils by the other thou hast graciously exalted me in thy blessed union with me above the nature of Angels thy peace thou hast left with me thy peace thou hast given unto me even that blessed peace of conscience which the world cannot take from me and that eternity of peace with thee in thy Kingdom which thou Lord in thy rich mercy hast prepared for me O that I might now lose my self with contemplation of thine endlesse love that I might be ravished into extasie with apprehension of my present safety of my future glory that all my faculties of soul might be but one entire and pleasing sacrifise of thankfulnesse unto thee that as thou O my Saviour and the Father are one so I may be one with thee to magnifie thy gracious presence here and to be for ever where thou art hereafter to see thy great glory and enjoy mine own end lesse felicity From this for ever blessed fountain of eternall happiness doe plentifully flow those pleasant streams of comfort to the souls and bodies of the Saints even in this life by which they are securely quieted and joyfully contented even in the very worst of times which either mans malice or the Devils cruelty can study to inflict upon them if they receive injuries they return prayers they entertain them with a Father forgive them for they know not what they doe Luk. 23.34 and Lord lay not this sin to their charge Act. 7.60 And so while they lose outwardly they gain inwardly godliness is great gain for by patience they possess their own souls Their courage is undaunted for The righteous is hold as a Lion able to encounter the fiercest affliction ready to withstand the strongest
frailties commiserate his infirmities forgive his iniquities Lord purge him by thy pretious blood cloath him with thine own righteousnesse inrich him with thy blessed merits and plead them to thy Father for him O thou holy and for ever blessed Spirit who art the pure fountain of eternall love be present with him relieve and comfort him in all these bitter pangs of his last hour indue him with a willingnesse and cheerfulnesse to leave this transitory life and crown him with eternity of joyes in that to come And now O Lord we come unto thee for our selves who are here at this time upon our sinfull knees before thee Lord open our eyes that we may seriously consider of that last and solemn hour of our departure Lord sanctifie our hearts that while we are encompassed with sinfull flesh we may lament our often failings and infirmities and every day be more and more desirous to goe home to thee who art the God of spirits Lord give us grace that we may walk soberly and righteously and holily as becometh thy children that at the resurrection of the just our soules and bodies may enjoy the blessed consummation of their endlesse happinesse Lord hear our prayers and let our cries come unto thee for thy name sake for thy promise sake for thy blessed Sons sake Amen The Conclusion BLessed Lord God by whose onely mercy I have finished this imperfect Work as I began it by thy goodnesse so I desire to end it with thy praise Lord accept of it and graciously afford thy blessing to it Let not the weaknesse and the sinfulnesse of me the Instrument be the Readers discouragement but give glory and honour to thee the Agent for of thee and through thee and to thee are all things to thee be praise for ever Amen SOLI DEO GLORIA For the comfort and assistance of those that are ready to depart this life I have hereunto added the dying Confession of Mr. Anthâ—ny Sadler Minister of Gods Word at West-Thorock in Essex of which I was an Ear-witness Obiit vicesimo die Maii Anno 1643. THE Lord hath laid a gratious and a gentle visitation on me I doe acknowledge with a thankfull heart that this weakness of body this languishing of nature these painfull daies and nights are from him For misery cometh not out of the dust neither doth affliction spring out of the earth Job 5.6 Ah my friends little doe men think how much the great disturbances of sickness how much he pains and infirm ties of a dec ying body distract those blessed thoughts those sweet and happy meditations which the troubled soul desires The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak Lord Jesus strengthen the inward man and lay no more upon this sinfull bâ—dy than thou in mercy shalt enable it to bear I am now verily perswaded that God hath purposed to determine my daies his blessed will be done even so Lord Jesus come quickly He that looketh into his life past that ransaketh his soul and calleth to minde the sinfull failings of his youth will finde it very hard and difficult to make his calling and election sure I have earnestly desired to leave no corner of my soul unsearcht and I finde my self to be a very great and wretched sinner I have committed grievous sinnes very grievous sinnes such sinnes as are not fit to be named before God's Saints I have examined my soul by each particular Commandment and I finde my self guilty of the breach of all and that in an high manner especially considering that weighty Function God's providence hath called me unto I have not onely sinned against mine own soul but against the soules of others too whom I have corrupted by my ill example and that very often And now when I look upon the glasse of the Law and there see mine owne vildnesse I finde Gods justice and mine own deserts even ready to surprise and cast me down into the nethermost hell and that most righteously But O see the goodnesse of a gratious God! I now come to lay hold upon the promises but how not without repentance not presumingly I apply them not in a generall but particular way I doe not onely believe that Christ Jesus came iâ— to the World to save sinners but I believe allso that he died for my sinnes and rose again for my justification God hath promised and all his promises are Yea and Amen that he will not forsake those which trust in him nay he hath bound himself unto it by an oath by two immutable things which cannot fail his Truth and his Holinesse Heb. 6.18 and God hath said That he which confesseth and forsaketh his sinnes shall finde mercy 1 Joh. 1.9 I acknowledge them I confesse them I am grieved for them I forsake them I abhorre themwhat should I doe more God requireth not more of me These pauses were supplied with tears and yet for all this I cannot find my self assured of his favour methinkes this sorrow is not so hearty as it ought to be and yet I know and stedfastly believe that if God did not work with me this sorrow could not be and where he worketh there can be nothing wanting I know that the most righteous man alive cannot perform this work so perfectly as he ought and therefore I believe that he which is ascended up on high hath done it for me in that full and ample manner which is able to appease his Father's wrath and I now trust that by his perfect obedience this imperfect worke of mine shall find a gratious acceptation This is my hope and this my beliefe Nay I can goe yet a little further to strengthen my assurance that my peace is made with God I every day and every houre doe pray unto my Saviour to intercede his Father for me and if I implore him he will intercede his Father and if he intercede his Father he cannot be denied O my God impute my sinnes to him transferre his righteousnesse to me and then I know I shall appear a glorious soul before thee Amen FINIS THE CONTENTS CHAP. 1. UPon the sinfulnesse of our thoughts touching the sacred Deity with holy cautions to order our devotions aright pag. 2. CHAP. 2. Upon the consideration of God's love and man's unthankfulnesse A Meditation suited to the morning pag. 9 CHAP. 3. Upon the consideration of Divine Providence A Meditation for noon pag. 14 CHAP. 4. Upon the consideration of the sinfulnesse shortnesse and uncertainâ—y of life A Meditation suited to the evening pag. 17 CHAP. 5. Upon our approaching unto God's House with necessary cautions for our behaviour there pag. 20 CHAP. 6. Upon our returning from God's House and the neglect of private duties pag. 24 CHAP. 7. Upon the want of due preparation for Receiving of the Lord's Supper pag. 27 CHAP. 8. Containing pious Ejaculations at the time of Receiving pag. 30 CHAP. 9. Containing a brief Meditation and pious Thanksgiving after our Receiving pag. 31 CHAP. 10. Upon a Journey undertaken and the many dangers incident thereunto pag. 32 CHAP. 11. Containing pious Meditations and zealous Ejaculations after a Journey pag. 34 CHAP. 12. Upon the great danger of Security pag. 37 CHAP. 13. Upon the great danger of Prosumption pag. 41 CHAP. 14. Upon quenching of the motions of God's holy Spirit pag. 47 CHAP. 15. Upon the consideration of God's peculiar Providence to his Children pag. 51 CHAP. 16. Upon sinfull Anger and the great disturbance thereof pag. 55 CHAP. 17. Upon Man's inordinate love to the Creature pag. 58 CHAP. 18. Upon the sin of Uncleaness with Incouragements to avoid it pag. 63 CHAP. 19. Upon immoderate Mirth and the great Inconveniencies thereof pag. 67 CHAP. 20. Upon the great danger of deferring the hour of Repentance pag. 75 CHAP. 21. Upon Servile Fear and the danger thereof pag. 79 CHAP. 22. Upon the great neglect of reckoning daily with our Thoughts and the benefits lost thereby pag. 84 CHAP. 23. Upon Unchristian-like Dulnesse in Affliction pag. 87 CHAP. 24. Upon uncheerfulnesse in Christianitie with Incouragements to avoyd it pag. 91 CHAP. 25. Upon mans sinfull frailty in the hour of Temptation with Motives to make resistance pag. 94 CHAP. 26. Upon the Infirmitie of the Saints pag. 97 CHAP. 27. Upon Desertion pag. 101 CHAP. 28. Upon sudden danger pag. 106 CHAP. 29. Upon the weaknesse of Faith and sinfulnesse of Thoughts tending to Despair pag. 107 CHAP. 30. Upon the great Neglect of the duty of Prayer pag. 111 CHAP. 31. Upon the great neglect of Reading the sacred Scriptures pag. 114 CHAP. 32. Upon the neglect of Divine Meditation pag. 117 CHAP. 33. Upon Unchristian-like Dejectedness in Poverty pag. 119 CHAP. 34. Upon Sickness and ungodly repining thereat pag. 122 CHAP. 35. Upon the misery of Life and blessednesse of Death pag. 126 CHAP. 36. Upon the great neglect of opportunities in doing good to the Saints pag. 131 CHAP. 37. Upon the deceitfulnesse of the heart in the performance of holy duties pag. 135 CHAP. 38. Upon the unrulinesse of the Tongue with necessary cautions to restrain it pag. 140 CHAP. 39. Upon holy revenge for sin with motives and incouragements thereunto pag. 144 CHAP. 40. Upon the blessed condition of the Saints with motives and encouragements unto Godlinesse pag. 147 A comfortable Prayer to be used at the point of Death by the Visitors of the Sick pag. 157 FINIS
not only safety inviolable but peace untterable safety in life and sweetness in death And now Lord when I enquire for what cause thou givest me all this I find nothing but thy meer love unto me when I ask what thou requirest for all this I hear thee demand no thing but the return of love what is more easy what more sweet than love and what object more aimable than that glorious being that is the perfection of al love that love the beauty of al perfection Thou canst not give Lord what thou hast not the glory of thy creation is but a glimps of that grater glory of thine essence Lord who can deny thee Love how sweet is this yoak how light this burden when I love thee I enjoy thee and my self in thee I possess thee I rest in thee for ever O my God all that thou givest mee all that thou requirest of mee is to make mee happy to thee be glory for ever Amen Blessed Lord All this I joyfully confess thou hast done for mee and yet the whole course of my corrupt life hath been nothing elce but a continued Rebellion against thee mine Eyes full of Adultery my tongue of Corrupt communication my hands of oppression mine eares open to iniquity my heart full of hypocricy my feet Lame in thy paths and swift to walk in the wayes of sinners my whole man nothing elce but the very body of death and destruction I have sinned against precepts against promises against mercies against judgments against the checks of mine own conscience and the blessed motions of thy holy Spirit I have even tempted my temptations by making daily and hourely provisions for sin and have been so farr from sorrowing for all this that I have resolved to continue yet still And yet so great is thy compassion towards mee that still thou storest up new mercies for mee Lord I bewail my weakness I lament my willfulness I abhorr my filthiness I heartily desire and earnestly endeavour to unrip my soul to ransack my heart to unlock the very secrets of my thoughts that I may have all my sins continually before mee even in their worst appearances and I may loath them and leave them and obtain thy gratious pardon for them I confesse Lord that I am utterly unworthy to enjoy this blessed light which I have so much abused to thy great dishonour much more the light of Grace by which thou leadest me to that of Glory and that it were more just with thee for ever to deprive me of these happy lights and to expose me to the terrours of eternall darknesse Lord I have finned and cannot chuse but sin I am a great and grievous sinner and yet I am thy child have pity upon me have pity upon me for I am in misery into the bosome of thy tender love I thrust my sinfull soul for safety and protection O let not thy justice triumph in my ruine but thy mercy in my deliverance so shalt thou have the glory and I the sweetnesse of mine eternall happinesse Hear me O Lord and help me for thy name sake for thy promise sake for thy Sons sake Amen CHAP. 3. Vpon the consideration of Divine Providence A Meditation for Noon Blessed God WIthout thy holy providence no creature can subsist by thine Allmighty power they were created out of nothing and if thou shouldst not sustain them they must needs return to nothing how wisely how wonderfully doest thou guide and govern these inferiour creatures All things are at once disposed of by thee and move successively to their appointed ends but above all how gratiously hast thou provided for the good of man what varieties of food how secretly how sweetly disposed it to sustentation No creature can be nourishing without thee and with thee I enjoy not onely nutriment but delectation how sweet is this thy goodnesse to my body how much more sweet thy mercy to my soul and if thy temporall refreshments are so good how ravishing is that celestiall food with which thy Saints and Angels are delighted Lord how undeserving am I of these thy many favours Thou givest rain to the earth and it becometh fruitfull thou loadest me daily with thy blessings and loe I am unthankâ—â—â— even those creatures that are insensible are daily nourisht into augmentation and man alone whom thou hast made to live for ever contents himself with daily diminution This wofully appears by my deadness and dulness in my Christian calling by my back wardness to Holy Duties by my carelesnesse and coldnesse in prayer wearinesse in reading irkomenesse in meditation by my faint Hope sick Faith luke-warm Love frozen Charity lame Patience languishing Zeal and all those other visible decayes of Goodness which are none other than the very symptomes of a dying soul Ah now Lord how miserably deformed must I needs appear in thy fight that am thus ugly in mine own Thou that hadst compassion on me when I was in my blood and then saidst unto me Live that hast washed me clean from sin and pollution and espoused me into thine own bolom wilt thou allso love me in death Wilt thou court me in the grave How justly mightest thou for ever leave me to mine own ruin that can so easily so willingly forsake thee for the pleasures of sin and yet how sweetly how affectionately doest thou order all things for me Even my very sins invite me to a more happy to a nearer Union with thee To thee therefore O my God the life of my life the very being and assured comfort of my sinfull soul and wretched body do I address my self for mercy and forgiveness I confess my self unworthy of thy gracious providence in sustaining this frail and infirm body much more unworthy O Lord of thine unspeakable love in reviving relieving imbracing my deformed soul Blessed Lord who am I of whom thou art thus tenderly compassionate When I was in the womb I was defiled with sin when I came out of it I was covered with shame the World bewitched me the Flesh besotted me the Devill beguiled me Lord when no eye pittied me then thou badst mercy on me and now at last when I am run from thee when I have adulterated my first Love when I am become poor and wretched and miserable and blind and naked thou freely forgivest me thou callest me thy fair one and givest me thy love O my God I admire thy Goodness I deplore and abhor mine own wretchedness O let the sweetness of thy love in Christ inflame the dying sparks of my benummed soul to praise thee without ceasing Expatiatc my narrow thoughts with day'y contemplation of my heavenly home with joyfull expectation of the sweet fruition of Eternity O give me such a blessed raptasie of soul that I may live above the reach of humane misery and reign with thee hereafter in immortall glory CHAP. 4. Upon the consideration of the sinfulness shortness and uncertaintie of life A Meditation suited to the Evening
folly in our hands sinne in our mindes and shame in our actions That prayer is very rare that is not fick of some distemper that charity very pure that can admit of no mistakes and that performance very perfect that is not soyled with some filth of wickedness How willing are our thoughts to wander in our prayers how cold and careless are we in them and how remils in the performance of them where is that constancy that fervency that holy importunity of spirit that is required of us in this holy exercise which of us can truly say that throughout the whole course of his whole life hitherto he ever put up one prayer unto Almighty God that was not cumbred with distracted thoughts that needed not a present pardon I tremble at mine own and grieve at others failings O let my severest censures of my brothers sins be assured signs of my best love How far are we even the very best of us from that purity and perfection of soul which becometh this holy duty and yet how ready are we even the very worst of us to beleeve our selves sufficiently holy assuredly happy We content our selves usually with the very shels and husks and outsides of Religion with shews and shadows of devotion with customary cold prayers intermitted undigested readings careless inconsiderate meditations hypocritall pharisaical fastings popular Alms-deeds having onely the shew of godliness but denying the power thereof All these and whatsoever else are like to these are odious to God abhominable to good men and most destructive to their souls that are deluded by them When by the sweet assistance of the heavenly goodness and gentle breathings of his blessed Spirit we are drawing nearer to our haven when the aguish distempers of the soul are abated and her native and radicall heat is grown strong and vigorous when the fervencie of our zeal is a rich evidence of the liveliness of our faith of the certainty of our hope of the perfection of our charity when our affections are inflamed with Gods love and our actions aim onely at his glory when we are grown up to that happy state of grace that our consciences are pure our resolutions godly our conversations unblamable allthough wee dare not then propose these base and by respects these outward aims unto out selves yet how cunningly and closely will corruptions Real in upon us even in these very blessed acts of grace This is too truly proved too sadly experienced even by the very best of Christians Lord in thy rich mercie give us eyes to discern it hearts to avoyd it How often may we find pride in our humility lust in our desires of chastity our own private ends in our proposals of Gods publique interest when we bear a part amongst the mourners of Syon when we are cast down for some humane frailty wee presently conceive highly of our own holiness and very meanly of others in their relations unto happiness while we have sought to become better by the proposall of some strict rules to preserve chastity have we not many times become worse by poysoning those very defires by unclean thoughts and uncleaner actions How many while they have sincerely aimed at Gods glory by the holy proposall and happy performance of some reall good for the benefit of his children have been secretly surprised with the by-end of their own deserved praise Lord how readily have I now met with mine own sins to thy great glory and mine own deserved slame I willingly confess that I am guilty of all this and infinitely more than this even these very lines are witnesses against me of my secret corruptions O let this my sorrowfull confession purchase for me thy free and full remission that thou mayst have the glory I the comfort of these weak endeavours And now Lord seeing I am thus impure and sinfull in mine own eyes even in the very best of my performances how loathsome must I needs appear in thy sight who art Purity it self and canst not behold iniquity Blessed Lord as thou hast given me the light of thy Word to discover me unto my self so give me allso the sword of thy Spirit to deliver me from my self Deliver me O Lord from the evill man from mine ownsecret corruptions and unknown abominations Allthough I am unto mine own soul both ruine and destruction yet let my blessed Saviour be unto me safety and salvation Search my heart O Lord and try my reins O let no base and by-respects inhabit there to rob thee of thine honour no false and vain respects to cheat me of my present holiness and future bappiness Pardon and pass by the secret and unknown errours of my sinfull life suppress the great disturbances turbances of my corrupt affections allthough they many times prevail against me yet let thy saving grace Lord be sufficient for me Lord make me purely and entirely holy let me love holiness neither for fear of thy punishments nor for hope of thy rewards but for thy sake onely O my God who art holiness it self Let me never think my self holy enough but forget all those holy actions which are past and press hard forward towards the mark for the rich price of the high calling in Christ Jesus Lord crown my holy desires with happy performances and blessed perseverance that at the end of my race I may receive the end of my hopes the salvation of my pretious soul and that for his sake and perfect holiness by whom I trust these weak and sinfull endeavours of mine shall be gratiously accepted and faithfully rewarded Amen CHAP. 38. Upon the unruliness of the Tongue with necessary cautions to restrain it Lord THY servant David is said to be a man after thine own heart and yet I find him setting a watch before his lips that he might not offend with his congue if such a chosen vessel as he had so much need of circumspection what holy cautions had I need to use what strict rules to observe who am so far from David's purity that I am nothing else but wilfull impiety I am so far Lord from being at union with thee that I am even enmity it self against thee In vain had holy David set a watch before his lips unless he had first set a guard upon his heart where the fountain is impure the streams can never be wholsome if the heart be full of sinfull corruption the tongue will soon overflow with corrupt and sinfull communication Lord I need none other proof of this point than mine own sinfull failings how often have I provoked thee to anger and displeasure against me by that usuall but most fearfull sin of swearing of which with shame and sorrow I confess my younger years were sadly guilty since when time and experience having added more light to my mind but thou O Lord especially more grace to my heart when I would have left it to my great grief I could not and had not that thy saving and preventing grace restrained my
temptation if the World frown upon them they can chearfully say and faithfully believe that A small thing which the righteous hath is better than great riches of the ungodly Psal 37.16 if it smile that They then account all things but loss and dung in compare of Christ Jesus if outward blessings be present they are humble under them and thankfull for them if absent They can patiently tarry for the Lord for they know he is their help Psal 33.14 and that No good thing will he withhold from them that love him Psal 34.10 if sickness seize upon them The Lord is about their bed and about their path and spieth out all their waies their waies of sin and their waies of sorrow yea He maketh their beds in their sickness by ease to their bodies comfort to their souls if famine threaten them they have God's promise to maintain them For the eye of the Lord is upon them that fear him and upon all those that put their trust in his mercy To deliver their souls from dearth and to feed them in the time of security Psal 33.17 18. if sudden danger approach them they have heavenly succour to defend them for The Angell of the Lord tarrieth about all them that fear him to deliver them yea even Death it self is an advantage to them and therefore no waies able to affright them for Pretious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his Saints and therefore Though the Lord kill them yet will they trust in him Iob 13.15 Lord if thy mercy be thus great unto me while I am yet in my sinfull flesh how unspeakable shall I find thy love when my body is become spirituall my joy eternall From these outward enjoyments may well be derived their inward contentments but by their inward refreshments is enjoyed that incomparable inconceivable unutterable sweetness that blessed peace of God and joy in the holy Ghost which passeth all our understanding God's holy Spirit witnessing with their spirits that they are his children and most pretious in his sight and they are now fully perswaded with his blessed Apostle that Neither Death nor Life nor Angels nor Principalities nor Powers nor things present nor things to come nor height nor depth nor any other Creature shall be ever able to separate them from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord Rom. 8. 37 38. How full of solid comfort is this blessed assurance how are our souls ravished with apprehension of the sweetness of our present comforts of the fulness of our future joyes these blessed earnests of that ever blessed Spirit are the faithfull pledges of his future embraces far above the reach of Malice to disturb or Devill to destroy Hence it is that our faith is pretious our hope lively our joy glorious our lives safe our deaths blessed and from hence arise those many and those rich endowments of the Saints their zeal burning their love wonderfull their desires earnest their longings insatiate their petitions for enjoyings importunate Lord what can I desire more of thee than what I enjoy from thee I have thy mercy without me and thy mercy within me thy mercy in life and thy mercy in death thy mercy from the beginning thy mercy to the end and thy mercy without end I am even crowned and encompassed with mercy O let me now say with holy David I will allwaies give thanks unto the Lord and his praise shall be ever in my mouth Psal 34.1 Let me not onely praise thee my self but with him allso invite others to praise thee O praise the Lord with me all ye his Saints and let us magnifie his name together Psal 34.3 O tast and see how gratious the Lord is blessed is that man which putteth his trust in him Be glad O yee righteous and rejoyce in the Lord and be joyfull all yee that are true of heart Psal 32.12 And now Lord having had a tast of the sweetness of thy Saints happiness on earth I willingly forsake all to follow them I have too long been straying in the strange pastures of impiety and am now joyfully desirous to be led home to thy fold that I may feed in the green and fresh pastures of thy sacred precepts and drink freely of those waters of comfort in thy blessed promises that I may so drinle that I may never thirst but be fully satisfied with thy grace in this life with thy glory in that to come O let this evill world neither allure me to its vanities nor betray me from thy mercies but as thou hast overcome the world for me so by thy grace assisting it may be allso overcome by me Thou hast indeed told me that I shall mourn in it but my mourning shall be turned into joy and that my joy shall no man take from me Lord I believe help my unbeliefe I embrace thy cross I despise the shame for that glory which is set before me of which I have a safe assurance by the blessed earnest of thy holy Spirit in me To thee O Father Son and holy Spirit one eternall infinite incomprehensible and ever blessed Goodness be all possible praise honour and glory now and for ever Amen O thou great God who hast tender bowels of compassions and multitudes of mercies for us miserable sinners who art not easy to be provoked but ever ready to forgive who sufferest not thy whole displeasure to arise against us but even in thy very judgements remembrest mercy and art then moved with the sight of our misery have mercy upon me a great and grievous finner Lord I have sinned I have transgressed I have done foolishly in departing from thy judgements But righteousness belongeth unto thee O Lord and unto me shame and confusion of face O let thy bowels of compassions remove out thy sight my multitudes of transgressions that I may now appear before thee with a joyfull heart and happy soul Let thy words be sweeter to me than the hony and the hony comb than the vain pleasures and false profits of this life O let my chiefest joy be in thy service my greatest delight to walk in thy waies and all false waies of pollution and uncleanness let me utterly abhorr Give me that inward peace that quietness of conscience which the world cannot take from me that when I am afflicted by it I may not be condemned with it Lord let me faithfully believe and gratiously improve the constancy of thy love in the worlds great unconstancy the richness of thy mercy in this wretched ages misery O that my eye might drop without ceasing that my heart might break forth into complaints and my soul be melted into sorrows for mine own and others sins that have occasioned these heavy judgements these sad complainings of thy people Lord as I have been a great and grievous sinner amongst them so let me be a constant and a true mourner for them as thou hast beheld us sinning so now allso behold us sorrowing
that as our sins have provoked thee to anger so our tears may move thee to compassion that thy mercy may be magnified our miseries relieved our sorrows comforted O let not these bitter aggravations of thy judgements extort from us the least measure of impatience nor beget in us the least degree of distrust let us neither complain of thy justice nor despair of thy mercy but quietly and thankfully rely upon thee and in thy blessed hour enjoy a sweet inlargement by thee Lord pity the forlorn condition of thy sons and daughters in affliction repair their outward losses by thine inward graces that what is wanting to them of these earthly comforts may be abundantly supplied in thy heavenly joyes Forgive the great disturbers of the peace of this thy Sion Lord open their eyes that they may see how much they have erred from thy waies Lord sanctifie their hearts that they may speedily return unto thee and be for ever gratiously accepted of thee O that thou wouldst give us one heart and one voyce that we might serve thee without ceasing that we may be all truly humbled before thee and truly joyfull in thee Restore me for thy rich mercy sake unto that blessed union of Love which is the bond of Peace that as thou our God art one so thy distressed Church may be one thy divided people one their wishes and desires their prayers and tears their actions and endeavours one for thy glory the Churches safety and the Nations happiness That we may have peace with thee our God peace with our enemies peace with our own souls and everlasting peace with thee in thy Kingdome Amen A comfortable PRAYER to bee used at the point of death by the Visitors of the Sick O Eternall Almighty most mercifull and for ever blessed Lord God of Heaven and Earth wee thy poor and most unworthy creatures miserable and distressed sinners in all humility of heart and dejectedness of spirit are here prostrate before thee Lord we confesse that we are utterly unworthy to approach thy glorious presence Blessed God we are confounded and ashamed to lift up our sinfull eyes unto thee whose gracious goodnesse we have so much neglected whose patience and long-suffering so long abused whose anger and indignation so justly provoked whose wrath and fury so wretchedly deserved Lord we are heavy laden with the burden of our sinnes and thou alone art able to relieve us to thee therefore we addresse our sinfull souls for mercy and forgivenesse O thou that art the blessed Shepheard of our erring soules that camest into the World to seek and to save those that are lost have mercy upon us O thou that hast espoused us unto thy self and hast given us thy love have mercy upon us O thou that callest us to come unto thee and embracest us when we are come receive our prayers Lord give us prepared hearts to meet thee in this holy duty Quicken our benummed soules with holy fervencie that our devotions may ascend unto thy gracious presence Lord thou hast promised to be near unto all those which call upon thee with sincerity and faithfulnesse of heart for thy blessed promise sake we most humbly beseech thee let our humiliations be comfortable our prayers acceptable In full assurance of the sweetnesse of thy mercy towards us wee are now bold to become Petitioners unto thee for this thy sick servant whose life is drawing near unto the grave Blessâ—d Lord God it is thou that killest and makest alive that bringest down to hell and raisest up again we most meekly beseech thee therefore for thy rich and tender love sake to thine Elect to mitigate that bitter curse which thou hast layd upon us all in Adam Lord look upon his affliction and his travail and forgive him all his sinnes give him sure patience to endure with meekness whatsoever thou art pleased to inflict upon him Lord lay no more upon his feeble body than thou shalt make him able for to bear impose no more upon his wounded spirit than thou in mercy shalt support him under Forsake him not O Lord our God be not thou far from him let him remember that this chastisement of thine is common to thy dearest children that thou hidest thy face from him but for a small moment but with everlasting kindnesse thou wilt have mercy on him Lord settle and compose his thoughts for thy Kingdom let no disturbance of this life distract those blessed meditations which invite the weary soul to rest and quietnesse let him now see and joyfully beleeve that thou wilt order all these outward things to thine own glory and the good of those that have relation to him let him freely forgive all injuries on earth and heartily desire to meet his greatest enemies in heaven O let his soul be now transported with the sweetnesse of thy love and favour towards him Lord qualifie this bitter potion which thy holy providence hath alotted to him let him now remember that the sufferings of this present life are not worthy of that glory which shall be suddainly revealed in him and when the outward man is drawing nearest to its dissolution Lord Jesus strengthen and rejoyce the inward man with comfort and assured confidence of thy salvation To this end O Lord we most humbly beseech thee to illuminate his understanding that he may see the sadnesse of his own condition in himself that â—he may deny and utterly abhor himself that he may disclame all sinfull confidence in his own actions and endeavours and wholly cast himself upon the righteousnesse of him in whom alone thy wrath is fully satisfied Lord give him a serious and a true remorse of conscience for his many and his great offences Lord Jesus grant that they may not now appear unto the terror and amazement of his sinfull soul O let him now remember that it is thy precious blood which purgeth him from all iniquitie that thou O blessed Saviour art become unto him righteousnesse and holinesse and sanctification and redemption Lord comfort and assist him in this last and greatest tryall of his faith And because the sensible decay of his infirm body and the violent disturbance of his sicknesse will not suffer him to call upon thee with digestednesse of mind and quietnesse of spirit we therefore humbly pray thee to sustein and comfort him even in his greatest weaknesse and extremity Blessed God let the sorrowfull sighing of thy sick prisoner now come before thee O let thy blessed Spirit which is in him put up humble supplications to the Father for him O satisfie him with thy mercy and that soon Let those happy sighs and groans which cannot be expressed become a pleasing sacrifise of thankfulnesse to thee and a sweet savour of eternall rest to his departing soul O thou that art the God of power protect him from the fury of that roaring Lion who is now seeking to devour him O thou that art the blessed Saviour of the sinfull world compassionate his