of many beholders at the point of death not expecting to live many dayes I apprehended God sending Her impatience of staying here forth two messengers the one was the grim serjeant Death with a commission from God to arest the body I apprehended that the rest of the body should but set the soule at liberty The other messenger sent from God was the Angell of God with a commission from God to carry the soule to the place of Iust men made perfect so that I was perswaded to bid adue to all creature ingagements onely I was to work while it was called to day the works of God for the night was at hand when I should no more work with the Saints on earth It was such a refreshment to my soule that my time was at hand that I was glad to be uncloathed that I might be cloathed upon So that I could say oh death where is thy sting oh hell where is thy victory I was taken up much 2 or 3 Her care to dye to the Lord. dayes in the work of exhortation of friends that came to visit me then the Lord sent a messenger of his who made a new report again of my Fathers house which was much illustrated to me by an instrument of his I could not but expresse to them who came to visit me what great things were to be injoyed in my fathers house said oh that they might come to me and to the Instrument I said if God had sent him to make a report of these things to my eares I bid him speake on for I was willing to heare what God would speake to me by him I was much conversant in the meditation of these things for twenty four houres or there about but before I was out of heaven in my thoughts I felt a thorue in my flesh Satan buffeting of me arguing thus against Gods proceedings by reason of the dispensation of God changing my bodily condition promising me some continuance in the Land of the living for a season here I found the rebellion of the flesh with the opposition of Satan to quarell against God being unwilling to abide in the flesh notwithstanding God saw it was better for me to be in the body for a time I desire whatever A sweet frame of spirit seem good to God may not seeme grievous to me I had no quiet nor rest in my soul till I saw this distemper my unwillingnes to submit to the wil of God wrought out and for that the Lord made me to seeke him earnestly and he was found in the day of my affliction I said within my self what good would my life doe me if God did not take away the evill of sin my affliction was nothing but my sin was my affliction and the Lord harkned and heard and took away my sin then I found my affliction nothing though greater than formerly yet Affliction easie as easie as ever then the Lord put me upon it to consider why he delaid his coming in that way wherin I apprehended he was about to Come I apprehended these to be the ends First To let me see the evill Her holy interpretation of Gods dealings towards her of my heart what I was in my selfe refractory rebellious another end was that I might see the worke of Gods grace in the hearts of some and be instrumentall to doe some thing for their good if God pleased to incline me for the helping forward of that work of his for I apprehend I shall work no more for the Saints after this life though Iesus Christ worke for the Saints in Heaven as well as when he was on earth yet the Saints work for the Saints only in this life The other end was as I apprehend that I might live to take care for a Child and to engage some honest man to take him which is partly effected Another end I apprehend was that I might take notice of the answer of the prayers of others Againe having been taken up in my thoughts more than ordinary in and about the differences of the times among the Saints in these late yeares in and about some Circumstances about Religion as I apprehend and I Her opinion concerning the differences of the present time was perswaded that the circumstance was nothing in comparison of the substance some said this was the way and some said that was the way some were for a separated Church others for a mixt Church First this I was perswaded that Iesus Christ was the only way to salvation by a worke of grace in the hearts of his people But I apprehending that the society of Gods people was very usefull and that those of the Independent society as they are called did make an improvement of the society of the Saints more than those that were out of that way did for the present It made me to have some inclination to that way and thereupon to apply my selfe to God for his direction in it what to doe then I saw that the Independent society went into their way in and by a covenant which I could not see any ground for whereupon I desired their grounds but found little or no satisfaction Their scriptures were Exod. 19. 6. Ezek. 16. 6 7 8. Jer. 50. 5. Acts 5. 13. Eph. 4. 3. Be Exod. 19. 6. Ezek. 16. 6 7 8. Jer. 50. 5. Acts 5. 13. Epes 4. 3. knit together in love which say they implies a covenant but I could not see by their light but did apprehend that that scripture was directed to the Saints in generall and not to Congregations in particular then they said they prest not their covenant as absolutely Her opinion concerning entring into Church-fellowship by a Covenant necessary but left it as a voluntary act then I began to think whether a voluntary vow were lawfull to be taken in matters of Religion which I find lawfull in scripture as David did vow against his sin and it s put upon record in scripture that if we vow to God we must not deferr to pay it then I began to think that the society of Gods people was vsefull and if it could not be injoyed Note without covenanting its just with God to give us up to covenanting for the hardnesse of our hearts who would not willingly do it without this And I conceive that David could not come up to duty as he would till he came to covenanting but I began to think wheher this covenant so much prest was my duty viz. to joyne in a way of Covenant for the injoyment of the society of the Saints and after seeking of God he gave me this place If thou doest not vow thou doest not Her determination upon it sin and it satisfied me that I might injoy the society with the Saints out of the way and therefore saw no necessity of ingaging my selfe in the way And he also gave me these places to satisfie me further be ye followers
thus made him and all things else for his use and service I believe That all that God made amongst which was man was exceeding good and whatsoever was afterward not good was through the defect of the Creature I believe That man being thus made and engaged to serve his God yet was made liable to fall Concerning the Fall of man VI. I believe That Man fell and that wholly from God and that being thus fallen God might justly have taken advantage upon fallen man and have cast him and his posterity off to all Eternity as hee did the fallen Angels Concerning Gods workes of grace 1. Of Election VII I believe There is an Election of Grace and that according to that Election there shall be but a few that shall participate of the way of recovery by Iesus Christ. Concerning the work of Redemption and Reconciliation VIII I believe That there was no cause in man being fallen to move God to recover him from that fallen estate but onely he was moved from his owne bowells I believe being moved so from himselfe hee found out a way himselfe for mans Recovery I believe That the way so found out and the meanes by which alone fallen man can be restored was by a Mediator taking upon him our Nature that so he might pacifie the wrath of God for the sinne of our Nature that wee might thereby be fit to live with God in our Nature Concerning Originall sinne IX I believe That our Nature was sinfull and that the sin of our Nature was the cause of all our sorrowes temporall and Eternall we dyed spiritually at the instant of the fall and all shall certainly dye a temporall death and only some shall be delivered from dying eternally Further. Concerning the worke of Redemption and Reconciliation the sole Redeemer the fruit of Redemption the mysterie of conveyance c. X. I believe That as the whole Trinity did worke in the Creation of the world so they did also equally worke in the worke of our Redemption God the Father and the Holy Ghost sending and the Son being sent and comming But I believe that Christ hath alone performed the worke of redemption and reconciliation fully satisfying the Iustice of God to the utmost for all his I believe also that every man in the world is beholding to God for Iesus Christ for the enjoyment of their lives and of the creatures and that for the present they are reprieved from hell and damnation I believe That Reconciliation is to be found in no other but in Iesus Christ who is the alone great Reconciler betwixt God and his people I believe That the worke of Redemption is a great mysterie for the divine Nature to take upon him the humane nature O it is a great Mysterie I believe also That it is a great Mysterie in regard of the way of its particular conveyance And that Christ hath not onely purchased this salvation but also makes a particular Declaration of it 1. By his Word 2. By the Worke of his spirit on the soule And 3. By the witnesse of the spirit I believe That in this worke Jesus Christ purchased strength for every beleever to withstand Sin Death and Hell Concerning Perseverance in Grace XI I believe That by the Lord Jesus Christ there is power purchased for every Believer to withstand Sinne Death and Hell Notwithstanding that the fallen Angels the Devils as they were the first occasion of the fall so they are great hinderers of this worke of Grace and Restauration they having us at such an advantage Concerning Death and the Resurrection and the Immortality of the soule XII I believe That all men according to Gods appointment must dye and continue in the Grave The bodies I meane of every Man and Woman that so they might be made fit for eternity some for eternall wrath others for eternall glory I believe That the soules of all immediately after death goe to God that gave them there to give an account for what they have done in the flesh I believe that the Resurrection of the Saints to grace here and glory hereafter is purchased by the Death Resurrection and Ascensian of Jesus Christ I believe That the same bodies both for substance and forme every joint and limbe shall rise againe and not a bone shall be wanting A substantiall body both for flesh and bones that I prove by Christs resurrection who was raised with the same body Object But you will say Christs body lay but three dayes in the Grave and so his body was not rotted in the dust but ours will lye so long that our bodies shall be turned into dust Ans I Answer The same power that made the body of Adam out of the dust the same power can raise our bodies again although turned to dust So that the worke of Resurrection is a curious worke and secretly wrought in the wombe of the earth as the child is secretly wrought in the womb of the mother There shall be the same matter to make the bodies of in the Resurrection at the last day that there was when God first formed the body of Adam viz. The Dust of the earth The same power shall raise all our bodies though turned to dust Concerning the day of Iudgement XII I believe That Christ shall come personally to judge the world and that with an audible voice by the word of his mouth he shall raise the dead And that at the day of judgement all the sins of the godly shall be laid upon Iesus Christ. They here in the world accuse themselves for sinne and so shall be excused at the last day It is the office of conscience to accuse here or hereafter Conscience having done its office there shall be nothing objected against them at that day But they shall heare that blessed Sentence Come ye blessed of my Father Concerning Glorification heaven XIV I believe The godly at the day of Iudgement shall heare that blessed Sentence Come yee blessed of my Father inherit the Kingdome prepared for you before the beginning of the world I believe In Heaven there shall be no Infant of dayes nor old man of yeares The corruptible life of of the creature shall not inherit eternall life there shall no weaknesse no deformity what ever accompany that life there shall be no eating nor drinking in it but singing Hallelujahs to God for ever I will conclude with the Psalmist Psalm 139. I will praise the Lord for I am fearefully and wonderfully made marvellous are thy works and that my soule knowes right well Reader Thou hast thus far read her Faith now hear her Storie that was faithfully taken from her own mouth And so also was this that followes being the Relation of Gods dealings with her Psalm 34. 8. Taste and see how good the Lord is Psalm 66. 16. Come and I will tell you what God hath done for my soule I shall speake nothing but what God hath done in me and for me THe
Decemb. 2. 1648. I Have perused the precedent Discourse of the Life and Death of a vertuous and godly Christian entitled Faith and Experience and a Pious and profitable Sermon preached at the solemnizing of her Funerall and approve them both very worthy the Printing and Publishing Iohn Downame FAITH EXPERIENCE OR A short Narration of the holy Life and Death of Mary Simpson late of Gregories Parish in the City of NORVVICH Who dyed Anno 1647. In or about the thirtieth yeare of her age after 3 yeares sicknesse and upwards CONTAINING A Confession of her Faith and Relation of her Experience taken from her owne mouth To which is added A Sermon preached at her Funerall upon Rom. 14. 6 7. By John Collings M. A. Phil. 1. 23. For I am in a strait betwixt two having a desire to depart and to be with Christ which is far better Ver. 21. For to me to live is Christ and to dye is gaine LONDON Printed for Richard Tomlins and are to be sold at his house at the Signe of the Sun and Bible in Pye-corner 1649. To the Glory of her Sex AND Excellency of her AGE The truly Noble and Vertuous Gentlewoman Mrs Philip Hobart daughter to Sir John Hobart Knight and Baronet late of NORFFOLKE Noblest Lady IF it were nothing but the daily Engagement I stand in to that root of which you are a branch and to your selfe as a Member of this Family It were enough I trust to claime a pardon for this Dedication and I might rather seeme to deserve a check for my so long negligence than my present presumption But the sutablenesse of the subject in these sheets is such that I dare be confident you will be pleased not only to patronize but also practise it in what you see it yet leading you further to perfection It holds out unto you a precious Example of one that began so soone to live to God that she is already living with him Lady It is a record of the life and death of one not unknown in her latter dayes unto you one far below you in respect of birth and greatnesse while she was here but infinitely more above you now And of one who I dare say thirsted not so much afrer your greatnesse then as you doe after her grace and glory now What vanities are the excelling things of this life They have a scantnesse in their fulnesse a glut in their enjoyment and a short time to live The greatest riches is in the truest poverty and to be nothing is to be most I am confident Noblest Lady that you have in some measure learned not to call the Proud Blessed nor think that true happinesse consists in worldly greatnesse It were sweet if we could learne to eye the creatures as God eyes them and judge them greatest that are most gracious How the world valued this deceased Saint I know not Sure I am it was done unto her as God useth to do to them whom he delighteth to honour Why should not we look as God looketh and not judge the Peacocke better meat than the Partridge because he hath gayer feathers Read here Noble Lady the love Christ beares to his Lambs and learne from hence what it is to seeke the Lord early How many of Gods precious ones attaine not so much peace in threescore as she had in thirty yeares We use to say more worke is done in two houres in the morning than in the rest of the day She set out early to seek him and she quickly found him whom her soule loved She quickly redeemed her lost time because she had not lost much A young Saint and an old Devill is Satans slander of the way of the Lord which the Wise man saith is strength to the upright Learne hence also Noblest Lady the benefit which you will in time reap from your begun practice of seeking the Lord in secret How often did this removed Saint meet with God when she was alone in the Mount God speaks his mind more freely to us and so we may also do to him when he and we are alone Let those whose God is their pleasure or belly spend the time in painting and dressing which you are better spending in seeking the face of him who will be found of them that seek him You will find your face will shine more than theirs and what but this hath made it already to doe it I cannot but thankfully admire the goodnesse of God which hath already so taken off your Infant-yeares from the Vanities of youth and I trust fully perswaded you of the truth of that which the world cals Heresie That those are most excellent who are most holy The follies of dresses and paints and dances are so far under Religion that they are below a spirit that is but truly Noble And I rejoyce to say it below yours Lady we are not sent hither to eat and drinke and rise up to play we needed not a rationall soule for such sensuall emploiments You will yea I dare say you have found more sweetnesse in an houre spent with God than in many spent in such company as doe no good and such discourses as administer no grace to the hearers Pursue Interests and designes as Noble as your spirit is remember alwayes that it is a designe too base for a divine soule to pursue Creature-Contentments Why should we court the world that is made for our servant and wait upon a vanity that will Weary us to serve it but never satisfie the expectation of them that pursue it Goe on Rarest Jewell to make Religion your businesse and above all be much in seeking God You have the key of Heaven if you have but the gift and grace of praying Let it be your designe now as much to excell the Saints as it hath been hitherto to excell the companions of your age pursue it as your worke to get as much love from Christ as you have honour from the witnesses of your accomplishments Let not your ambition rest in indearing your selfe to creatures but as you are already the crowne of your noble Parents and the honour of those that labour for your soule so still goe on and rest not till you be a jewell set in Christs diademe As you have been a Noble Example to this Family in teaching them it is no dishonour to learne the Principles of Religion by which as I dare say your humilitie hath excelled the most of your Equals if not in age yet in greatnesse who too usually can be content to be ignorant so no body knowes it So you have also discovered more perfection of Knowledge at thirteen than the most can boast of at threescore So now haste on to perfection and labour to excell as gloriously in a strict walking with God Remember Noblest Lady those that walke nearest the Sun have most light and heate Perfect the joy of your Noble surviving Parent And to this end Let me humbly crave that you would continue to
make the word a light unto your feet and a lanthorne to your paths Let your eyes be often upon it and let it be Sit tibi vel oratio assidua vel lectio nunc cum deo loquere nunc deus tecum ille te praeceptis suis instruat ille disponat quem ille divitem fecerit nemo pauperem faciet Cypr. in Ep. 1. ad Donatum p. 9. your Eye Saint Hierome praiseth Marcella a godly woman of his age that he could never come to her but she was asking him somewhat about the Scripture and had so high an opinion of her that he sayes if himselfe had any doubt he would aske her judgement O let not much reading there be a wearinesse to your flesh They are Gods Counsels and may well be our Counsellors Walke with God in their light write your lines by that rule Read often and with judgement alwayes carrying your heart with your eye You will find a glory a majesty a mystery a depth in those lines which you will never be weary of fadoming though you shall never be able to find the bottome I here presume to offer to your hands an Example which I am sure your goodnesse cannot despise for the meannesse of it She is now more Noble than you and in this happier that she hath alreadie been in Heaven a yeare before you Noblest Lady your opportunities are more your talents of Time and Parts are greater Outstrip all Examples and goe on to be as unparallel'd a president of holinesse to others as you are of other Excellencies Now the God of Grace fill you with his fulnesse and be unto you both in life and death advantage and preserve you the crowne of your surviving Noble Parent the Glory of your Sex the Comfort of your Noble friends the continuer of the Religious name of your Family and the joy of his Saints Which is and shall be the continued prayer of him who is ambitious to be accounted Noblest Lady Your most humbly obliged and devoted servant in the Lord Jesus JOHN COLLINGS TO THE Christian READER Reader THese sheets are partly my owne and partly anothers For that part of them that is not my owne it is a Relation of the precious Life and Death of one that was lately Ours but both then and much more now Christs The Relation was brought to my hands many Moneths since but my crowd of occasions hindred me from perusing of it I shall now give thee a true account of it The Relation was penn'd from her mouth by a faithfull friend nor have I injured her or thee in the transcribing of it having only rank'd the Articles of Confession in such order as I conceived most sutable and made a supply sometimes both there and in the Relation of a word or two where was some defect through the neglect or mistake possibly of the first Pen-man and in some places where her phrase though safe if safely understood was more dark subject to ambiguitie I have given thee her sense in a clearer and lesse ambiguous terme I will assure thee I have neither added nor substracted any â—hing which I conceive materiall For what is mine in these sheets It is a short Copy of a Sermon at her Buriall it was composed in a short time and transcribed with as much haste I had rather profit thee by plainnesse than tickle thee with exactnesse I am sure the Sermon hath rather lost than got by keeping in my Study I was willing for thy good to let it wait upon her memorie who while she lived we were all so much beholden to The plainness and meannesse of the Sermon will tell thee I hope I send it not to thee to beg Honour but to serve thy soule in the meanest place Reader thou hast here a Sermon proved by a fresh Experience O adde another Proofe requite my paines by letting the truth delivered have a witnesse in thy bosome Beleeve it Reader thou hast before thy eyes in these sheets a Rule and a President It is Gods word to thy soule Goe thou and doe likewise If thou readest the Relation thou wilt see what is got by seeking God early to what a pitch of grace a Saint may reach the right frame of a sober gospell-Gospell-spirit the picture of a Saint If thou readest and gainest nothing thank thy owne base heart Here 's a description of a true Christian a sight of him in a Copy and a Picture Certainly something may be got for thy and my souls profit from either If thou gainest any thing blesse thy God and pray for him who is Norwich Nov. 20. 1648. Thine in the Lord Iesus JOHN COLLINGS Faith and Experience A short Explanation of her selfe concerning divers Articles of Faith especially such as are most fundamentally necessarie to salvation Taken from her owne mouth Concerning the God-head I. I Believe there is a God and that this God iâ— infinite 1. In Substance 2. In Holinesse and in Being that there are 3 Persons in the divine Being The Father the Sonne the Holy Ghost each one God and yet in being but one God Concerning the way to come to know God II. I believe that this God is made knowne to us by his Word and by his Workes That there is a way of the knowledge of God by the Scripture and that there is a way of the knowledge of God in a more speciall way wherein God by his Spirit revealeth himselfe to his people experimentally yet according to Scripture Concerning the Word of God the holy Scriptures III. I believe That the holy Scripture is the very Word of God 1. Because it declares the Wisedome of God 2. Because it discovers our vilenesse and folly 3. Because it puts us upon purity 4. Because it reveales to us the great mysteries of Salvation I believe That God by this his Word is made knowne to us 1. As he is in himselfe by his Nature 2 By his Names which are his Attributes or 2. his Names of Relation Concerning Gods works of Creation and Providence IV. I believe That this God is further made knowne to us by his Workes of Creation I believe His work of Creation was his Creating of all things in heaven and earth I believe That God did create all things in heaven and earth I put a difference between Creating and Making To make is to produce something out of something To create is to produce something out of nothing I believe that God did make all things in heaven and earth for man and man onely for himselfe and his service Concerning the Creation of man in speciall and the state of innocency in which he was created V. I believe That God made man only for himselfe and his service I believe That man was made in such an estate whereby he was able to serve God by that divine grace which was put into him by God himselfe I believe That man being thus created was infinitely ingaged to serve his God because hee had
refreshments A Gospell-spirit of his spirit to carry me on in a way of obedience to his gracious and holy Law and Commands and then though I had matter enough within my selfe to condemne my self by reason that grace which in me was weak my flesh being full of all imperfections yet I knew all was made up in Christs perfection I made use of the Law for a rule to walk by not expecting Her opinion of the Law and of those that reject it to fullfill it So that the law must have Dominion over a man for a rule as long as he liveth who so casts the Law of God behind his back surely hath not partaken so far as I can conjecture of the saving grace of God and this I saw that Christ came not to destroy the law but to fullfill it Christ is the end of the law to every one that beleeveth we are not to throw it by as of no use but in what we fall short to make use of him that is of Christ to make it up the more I made use of the Law the more I saw that it was holy just and good For wee should not walke as doe others as men without a rule there is infinite cause that we should look to our Lords Commandement as Christ kept the Commands when hee was upon earth so doubtlesse he would have his people keep them when we have such a blessed Mediator to stand up in the gap if in any thing the Christians engagement to keep the Law law condemns us he steps in and undertakes for us he gave full satisfaction for the condemning power of it but hath left the practical part of it for us to make use of I was troubled with in my self if at any time I thought any thought A watchfull and zealous frame of Spirit or did any deed contrary to the command of God yea how hath my Soule been grieved because other men kept not the law of God I found the actings of God in me and toward me I prayed in another manner then before that Her sense of God when I askt any thing for my selfe or others agreeable to Gods will especially in straights I found a holy boldnesse and confidence that God would answer and he did answer abundantly beyond what I can expresse not because of my request but because Iesus Christ Her experience of Gods hearing her prayer and her right construction and use of it interceded he took my broken and imperfect requests shattered expressions and presented them blamelesse before God not because I prayed but because he delighted to shew mercy and so ingaged and incouraged me to wait upon him in his service My soule can testify I have had as much from God in the way of that ordinance as any I have been filled as full of consolation by God in that ordinance A rare experience as my soule could possibly attaine unto I never wanted any thing for my selfe or others but I went to God for there was none greater in heaven or earth I could resort unto I find him to be a fountaine never drawne dry oh that none would goe to the Cisterne when there is so much in the Fountain To looke at Cisternes The use of Cisternes as they are in themselves they are nothing but they may be made use of to Gods glory when used by God and lookt at through God the Fountaine whatever is done by the creature God doth but by a secondary meanes So that it is in and from the Lord that we have all that we injoy and when God brought me to the bed of affliction then he was pleased to make a report a new of all that he had done for my soule which made my heart to burne within me in love to God and Sweet apprehensions with desire to make known to others how good the Lord was to my soule all his dealings with mee to soule and body I apprehend are in much love so that the place I found experimentally true Rom. 8. 28. Gods gracious Rom. 8. 28. dispensation in fitting me for affliction was exceeding great so that I may say with Job that nothing came upon me but the thing I feared God was pleased to tell mee what he was about to doe and that in a way of answer to prayer I could conclude as confidently that affliction should come as if it had been upon me already and God gave me a strong resolution to abide his pleasure whatever it was And after some time of prayer he gave a promise sutable to the condition he was about to bring upon me the promise was happy is the man whom thou correctest c. And he hath taught me four things necessary Four things sutable to an afflicted condition and sutable to every afflicted condition whatever The first is to eye the hand of God in the affliction for the seeing the hand of God made mee silent in his presence and made me willing to submit to him The second thing was that he shewed me his face and presence which is better than life Thirdly He brought off my will to submit to him as to a father from many speciall places of divine writ Fourthly He made me more than in an ordinary way to Gods gracious dealing with her in relation to Affliction 4 Ends of Affliction apprehended by her drawe nigh to God to know why hee did contend with mee one end was for sin sin hath a being though not a reigning power in me for which cause I have cause to lay low A second end was for exercise of faith and patience and other graces A third end was that I might have liberty to take occasion to make a report to others what God hath done for my soule that by this meanes I might bring some honour to God A fourth end was that I might be set upon that evangelicall worke of setting forth the high prayses of God which work though I could do it to the utmost here yet it s nothing to what shall be in heaven And therefore I desire to blesse God that there is an eternity to praise him in In my affliction God hath verified many places of Scriptures which I see to be experimentally true that I did not see before so that I am constrained to say oft and againe What am I and what is my fathers house that the Lord should bring me hitherto and with David Lord what is man that thou art mindfull of him or the sonne of man that thou shouldest visit him Another Mercy in judgment thing I have observed in my affliction that God hath wonderfully chayned up Satan in this affliction He was never let loose upon me but twice in all my affliction he came forth often like a lion but in a chaine roaring for his prey but God stopt his mouth that he could get no dominion over me Those two times he was let loose The first time was about
my spirituall condition he would have troubled me with three things as he did Christ by queries First how I knew that I was a child of God And secondly how I could make out my interest in Christ whether it it was fancy or delusion or whether reall Next thirdly he would have Her strēgth against Sathan perswaded me that I laye under the guilt of some sinne that was not pardoned my answer was to the first I knew I was a child of God by his Word Works God made it out to me to the second I answered that God had assured me of an interest in Christ by a promise of the spirit bearing witnesse with abundance of of consolation that I was his spouse thy maker is thine husband c. To the third I answered God pardoned all sinnes in respect of himselfe at once I only did lye under the guilt of some sins but God came in abundantly with a promise that God acquitted me from all And so Satans objection was fully answered and I abundandly delivered Another temptation was about the time of Gods taking away my neare relation which was a sister of mine he took an advantage by the weaknesse of my body oftentimes to trouble me with many thoughts of her death and the manner of it both sleeping and waking and I was in some question about her eternall condition at first I thought it was rather some peece of Nature than any temptation but as soone as I saw it was a temptation I set my selfe to seek God against it And I had this answer from God after a few thoughts in seeking that the Lord would rebuke the devourer for my bodies sake and from this scripture that the God of Satan would bruise Satan under my feet shortly and for my sisters condition and the manner of her death God gave this word Is thy eye evill because mine is good shall I not doe with mine owne what I will aye said my soul if she were his I could be the better perswaded to give her up to God then God told me he lookt not as man lookt but if there were any work of God he would owne his owne work but however he caused me to leave her Her stooping to Gods soveraignty to his prerogative royall who judgeth righteous Iudgement I saw a necessity of frequenting the best meanes once in speciall I saw abundance from God to Her care to honour her Parents in what she might with security to her conscience incourage me in that way my Father and Mother commanded me to goe one way to hear and I was put upon it to goe another way for which they were very fierce and violent the Lord was pleased to put me upon it to inquire what I should doe in this particular and while I was thinking the fifth commandement came into my thoughts honour your Father and Mother c. Then I began to Thinke what honour was due to them being desirous to give them that honour that I was commanded if they commanded with God I was ready and willing to obey them with cherefulnesse but seeing they commanded contrary to God I saw the command of God greater than their command and I went to the word and God met me there in such a way that he gave me incouragement to goe through opposition and difficulty in time to come whatever I should meet withall though they were stripes I was willing to give my back to the smiters rather than to give up my conscience to be racked the opposition of the creature is not much when Gods makes it easy This other experiences I have had of Gods power and goodnesse in a way Her resolutenesse for God where I met with opposition So that its good to be resolute for God though you may lose some favour with the creature yet yee shall be double gayners if you may injoy the favour of God the light of his countenance is better than life The next thing I saw was that there was a faith which was according to sight like that of Thomas He beleeved because he saw and another faith beyond sight which was to beleeve upon the sight of the actings of grace plentifully upon my soule When God withdrew the sence of his love so that I did not injoy the dayly incomes of Gods love I was constrained to live upon the immutability Strong Faith and unchangablenesse of God Notwitwstanding the great mercy and favour of God formerly convayed I was constrained with David to cry out Restore A desertion to me the joy of thy salvation and then I apprehended that Christ was absent at which time I lived solitary and in the Darke I lookt Her carriage in it upon Christ as a husband but yet as a husband going a Journey and hid behind a curtaine so that my soule was as the spouse restlesse in looking out to inquire after him but in time he sent many love letters to me which were these To you that feare my name shall the Sunne of righteousnesse arise with healing in his wings Though I did not feare him perfectly and as I ought yet I had some desires to serve him in truth And another was Hee that shall come will come and will not stay yet sometime by reason of his absence I wondred what my temper was and said what is God about to teach me oh that I knew his mind and I would doe it oh that I knew what my present condition were and in time God graciously came in with this scripture and perswaded me with Gal. 2. 20. Paul that the life I now lived was by the faith of the Son of God who loved me and gave himselfe 2 Cor. 13. for me And that his grace was sufficient Her recovery out of her desertion for me and at last I saw him behind the curtaines I saw him but could not injoy him at last I found him whom my soule loved God hath not set me a president in respect of my bodily affliction but he hath caused me not to repine against him if he make me a president to others so I may be serviceable and be made instrumentall for the good of any poore soule my soule is satisfied Her sweet gospell-Gospell-spirit in her sad Affliction and I am abundantly willing to submit so God may be glorified and any poore soule edified it is satisfaction enough to me so I may be an instrument in Gods hand for any spirituall good The paths of God are pleasant paths I could wish it were more and more my meat and drink to doe the will of my father I feare more that too much impatience should break forth for an earnest desire for heaven than any thing for I found some deceit in my heart in that particular break out once And I have cause to feare there is more of the fire if the Lord doe not quench it I being once in my owne apprehension and in the sight
a beleever to live to God and how a beleever may be said to live to the Lord. I will open it in three or four particulars 1. A beleever may be said to live to the Lord Ratione Iuris by way of Right owning and acknowledging God to be his God as a Sonne lives to his Father and a Servant to his Master wearing Christs livery and acknowledging himselfe to be Christs Servant Proclaming with David Psal 116. 16. Truly Lord I am thy Servant I am thy Servant and the Sonne of thy handmaid for thou hast loosed my bonds Yea and this he will doe in all places and companies if Jesus Christ be named he is not ashamed to say with M. Herbert My Lord and Master He every where acknowledgeth his subjection and duty to God by his service as his Master by his homage as to his Soveraigne by his dutifull feare as to his Father according to that of the Prophet Mal. 1. 6. If I be a father where is my honour and if a master where is my feare He every where honours God as his Father and feares him as his Master Secondly The beleever lives to God formally He followes the dictates of his word and the motions of his spirit He is come into the world to doe his will he knowes that for this end he was borne and readily in the whole motion of his life sayes I delight to do thy will O my God If God in his word or by his spirit sayes to him Goe he goes Come he comes doe this he doth it He disputes not the rebellion of his owne will nor private interests of his owne spirit against the will of God once revealed unto him Thirdly The beleever lives unto God finally The whole end of his life of all his actions words tradings recreations is to glorify God and he doth nothing but he prefaceth this question to it how may God have glory what shall God get by this Action this is the designe he drives the interest he pursues every of his arrowes are levelled at this white and all his actions ordered to this end it is his work to glorify God both in his body and spirit according to the Apostles exhortation 1 Cor. 6. 20. Lastly He lives unto God dependently Indeed this is rather a living upon God but yet it is a living unto God too The life which he now lives is by faith upon the Son of God Gal. 2. 20. He cleaves unto God in all the Conditions and all the Relations of his life Thus he lives not to himselfe but to the Lord. Yea and Thirdly The third branch It is his duty therefore while he lives not to live to himselfe but to the Lord because while he lives he is the Lords Which is the third thing This is plaine if you doe but consider what I said before in the particular explanation of the first branch of the Doctrine viz. How far the beleever while he lives is the Lords 1. Because he is the Lords purchase What shall I buy a servant and shall he serve another Master Shall I buy an house and shall it rent to another Landlord 2. Because he is the Lords possession See the Apostle pressing this duty from both these Arguments 1 Cor. 6. 19 20. What know ye not that your body is the temple of holy Ghost which is in you and which you have of God and you are not your owne for yee are bought with a price therefore glorify God in your body and your spirit which are Gods Yea and thirdly 3. Because we are the Lords in so neare Relation Would you take it well that your children or apprentices which you maintaine should live to themselves And trade for themselves or others and not live to you and trade for you That your wife should live to another Either formally or finally and not to you whose she is And is there not as great an engagment Christians lyes upon you to live to the Lord you are his Children his spouses his servants nay nearer yet his members There is all reason in the world that you should not live to your selves but unto him And thus I have done with the second Branch of the Doctrine viz. That when the beleever lives he lives not to himselfe but to the Lord and it is his duty so to do because while he lives he is the Lords I passe to the third Branch The third Branch That when the beleever dies he dies not to himselfe but unto the Lord and it is his duty so to doe Here for the explanation of this Branch I shall do these two things First I shall shew how a man may be said to die to himselfe which the beleever doth not Secondly I shall shew you what it is to die to the Lord and how a beleever may be said when he dies to die to the Lord. 1. I conceive a man may be said to die to himself 1. when himselfe is the causer wisher or desirer of his own death thus Saul and Iudas dyed to themselves and could not stay Gods leisure The beleever is of another spirit Or Secondly when in dying or desiring to die he meerly aimes at his owne end out of a conceit of the ease and rest he shall be at because he knowes if he be in the grave There the wicked cease from troubling there the weary be at rest as Iob passionately spake c. 3. or to deliver himselfe from obloquies as Ionas cap. 3. or to save himselfe from danger as Saul or to be out of the horrors of a guilty conscience as Iudas these men dyed or would have dyed to themselves Or thirdly a man may be said to die to himselfe when he doth no good by his death declares not the glory of God nor faith in God but dyes like Nabal though his spirit be not over-powred with diseases nor he robbed of his senses yet he dyes like a block Now the beleever none of these wayes dyes to himselfe 1. He will not choose his owne speare with Saul nor twist his owne Halter with Iudas He will not only aime at his owne ease in his death but if the Lord stops not his mouth by an over-powring disease nor bereaves him of his sence and speech he will be setting out the goodnesse and glory of God with his very utmost breath as this our precious Sister that had such a mind of her journey that she could talke of nothing else I passe to the second thing propounded Second Branch To shew you What it is for a Beleever to dye to the Lord and how the beleever when he dyes will dye to the Lord. First he will dye at the Lords leasure he wil not hasten his death nor dye the death of the wicked his soule is indeed so greedy of glory that he is continually sighing after a dissolution and crying come Lord Iesus come quickly but yet not so hasty but he leaves God to his liberty for so poor a circumstance of
should be exalted above measure she had a thorn in the flesh given to buffet her God visited her with a long and tedious affliction how she demeaned her selfe in the beginning of it what she met with how she conquered you may take from her owne mouth in the precedent Relation I shall only supply the Chronicle of her dayes where her owne Relation ceased We commonly say Affliction is a spending time it was not a beginning to her but it was a growing time of grace The first time I came to visit her when I was but a stranger to her and to this City I remember her first question was Sir I beseech you tell me how I may glorify God in my affliction I told her either by patient submitting to his hand and quieting our selves in his will acknowledging his righteousnesse c. Or by Speaking to his glory to others c. For the passive part it was a lesson she had so well learned that no discontent could either be read in her carriage or countenance nor a repining word be heard from her lipps And it was no light Affliction for a young and Active body in its strength to have Gods fetters laid upon it and to be kept so close a prisoner as she was so long a time But her God had subdued her spirit to the feet of his owne will The latter and Active part she so practised that her chamber was as a room of paradise none came in there but went away Instructed or Satisfied or quickned or some way or other bettred The greatest part of her work was Angelicall a speaking well of God admiring and exalting his free grace telling what he had done for her soule yet she remembred that while she was in the body she had a duty to doe to others and never did any labour more for God with the soules of others than this pretious one Grace had made her eloquent her birth and breeding was meane but the Lord had given her the tongue of the excellent O the abundance of grace that was powred out into her lipps I appeale to you did not your hearts burne within you when you heard her speak the Excellency of sense spirituall sense I somtimes as my occasions permitted went to visit her and while I thought to speak my eares silenced my tongue and gave her leave to be the preacher for the gain of those in the room and that I my self might learn Righteousnes who ever heard her mentioning her affliction discoursing of any worldly thing O that my tongue were so sanctified she seemed to have lost all sense of Affliction and while she was in the body to have been out of it she would often call upon those yong ones that were babes of grace and came frequently to visit her to labour after more communion with God I remember one thing she would often Vrge and I beseech you to remember it viz. The excellency of the benefit the soule might reape by private prayer She told you for this what was her and if you be not your owne foes may also be your experience To make my discourse short The time of her life grew short and as she grew nearer the Earth so she grew more heavenly in her Hallelujahs making of it then her onely work to Glorify God by admiring his grace and exalting his name I went to visit her the day before the Lord took her to himself I found her bereaved of most of her senses but yet God gave her the liberty of speech which she ceased not to improve to his glory Many of her friends were weeping over her she was discoursing of the Creators Excellency and the Creatures vanity and that in such language that one would have thought she had had the tongue of the Eloquent as well as the Excellent And so incessant was she in that her spirituall worke that she would speake even till she had lost her speech and pawsing a little to recover her selfe renewed her discourse to the admiration of my selfe and those others that heard her she had so far lost her understanding that upon such pawses she ordinarily forgat what she had said and renewing her discourse would either beg the help of the standers by or goe on upon some new but as heavenly discourse to give thee a tast thereof take what I took that day from her own mouth Her words were these I tell you friends if any Christian sit down short of Christ he shall faile what is your duties your righteousnes but a menstruous cloath loathsome to your selves abominable to God Our boasting is excluded we can doe nothing what should we stay in any thing that we cannot doe O set up nothing of your own Let God have all your selves are nothing I will tell you my friends my own experience I have found the creature is nothing God is an Ocean c. Here her speech failed and pawsing till she had recovered her self she was not able to remember what she spake last but went on O the depth the height the length the breadth of Gods eternall decrees of love Of his love in Christ to poore creatures Study that Ocean It may be some of you have known what that Fountaine that Ocean of love is Now whatsoever the soule sets up or esteems besides that is but a shadow a fancy Let a man sit never so long by a shadow when he removeth he cannot carry it away with him If we get the substance that will also carry the shadow with it If you get the Lord Iesus Christ you get both substance and shadow whatever you have without him is but the shadow without the substance follow not after shadowes pursue them not strive after Christ and you shall in time see much of God Sit not still because you see some difficulties in the pursuance of this there is scarce any of you but if you knew where to get 5 or 20 shillings but would rise up early and worke hard to get it O why are not Christians covetous why should not they be ambitious Aas the work is small why wil you sit still But take heed of resting in your performances doe them but rest not in them Do not think of going to publike Ordinances and duties enough Alas what are publike Ordinances and duties if they be not followed on by private prayer and seeking God in secret O seek him in secret so you shall find him and that shall make you love him more But when you have done thus rest not in it for I tell you again if you sit downe any where short of Christ you lose all whatsoever you think you enjoy look higher then your selves than your bare performances c. And if you looke well into them you will see nothing in them but abundance of cause to be ashamed Nothing short of Christ I tell you againe can make you acceptable or amiable to God It hath in it the basenesse of our corrupted flesh What if