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A38482 The English Spira being a fearful example of an apostate who had been a preacher many years and then apostatized from his religion, miserably hanged himself, October the 13th, 1684 : giving an account of his dispair, and divers conferences had with him, by several ministers and others of his friends : together with his answer, and papers written by his own hand / left attested by Mr. T. Plant, Mr. H. Collings, Mr. B. Dennis, Mr. B. Keach. 1693 (1693) Wing E3121; ESTC R37321 41,094 57

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till about July last About August last I gave him another Visit and then found him tho' naturally of a strong Constitution and lively Spirit so exceedingly shaken that the horror of the sight made such deep impressions as I think will at seasons recur and set it self before me afresh as long as I live His Speech was very regular which discovered his Memory to be good and that his Distemper had not seized his Head but his Heart He freely discoursed the grief of ●is Mind expressing and setting forth his Condition to be most deplorable as having no hopes of salvation I laid before him with the greatest tenderness the freeness and riches of Gods Grace chusing to argue from his own former declared Opinion against limiting of it but could fasten no word of consolation or hope upon him With some Reluctancy he granted me liberty to pray with him but said his Spirit was shut up he could not pray and while I was praying he often groaned and after I had ended told me God would make him a terrible Example to this present Age and tho' he was full of benignity yet he was also a terrible God being provoked These Expressions and the horror that appeared in his Eyes and all parts of his body drew many tears from mine Eyes and rendred the Spectacle so dreadful that I cannot say as is reported of one that visited Francis Spira that he would go a thousand miles to see another Spira but on the contrary I desire I may never see the like Spectacle again whilst I live in this world He told me he thought either in a dream or when he was awake he could not tell which that I should say to him If he died the common death of all men the Lord had not spoken by me I answered He better knew the temper of my Spirit and Principles than to conceive such a thought of me or that I should take up the words of the Prophet of God divinely inspired and apply them to him but all I could say abated nothing of the horror of his Soul that I could perceive This Comment I make upon it that if any Atheist in the world who had formerly known this man and had conversed with him in these his Agonies he would have seen sufficient to have convinced him that there is a Power besides and so much above Nature as can with a touch shake and disorder and turn into confusion the strongest constitution of body by ministring and fastning terrible things upon the Soul That when God wounds the Spirit of a man neither he himself can bear it nor can any other aid him Therefore it is a fearful thing to fall under the Wrath of the living God who is a consuming Fire and can at his pleasure awaken a stupid Conscience and revive upon it the memory and horror of such sins as seem to be past over and forgotten My Prayer is that this man being made as a Pillar of Salt may warn the present and future Ages of the danger of sinning against the present Light of their Understandings The Effect of a Conference between Mr. John Child and Mr. B. K. ABout the middle of July 1684. Mr. B. K. went to see Mr. Child not hearing the least report of any trouble he was then under and after some discourse which passed between them Mr. K. occasionably mentioned that Book called A Second Argument telling Mr. Child he was reported to be the Author thereof which he presently acknowledged and cried out against himself in a bitter manner saying What he had done therein was out of Malice and Revenge against those People and seemed to abhor himself for casting such abominable Reproaches upon them whom he said he knew deserved it not and presently desired Mr. K. to go up stairs with him which he did and then he farther signified to him his deplorable condition and what horror and anguish of Soul he lay under and that there was no mercy for him And Mr. K. being on a sudden surprized with his deep expression of horror of which he had heard nothing it did amaze him yet he endeavoured with the utmost of his ability to comfort him by shewing the greatness of Gods mercy to true penitent persons together with the infinite worth and value of Christ's Bloud telling him withal that he was glad to find he had the sence of his great Evil on his heart or words to that effect and that he hoped this breaking was in order to healing But Mr. Child said he doubted of that And all the Words and Arguments Mr. K. could use to satisfie him were in vain so that at that time it being late at night he took his leave of him Mr. K. Soon after he came to seek me at my house but then I could not stay long with him But a few days after when he sent for me I went and found him in bed rowling and tumbling up and down in a lamentable manner enough to pierce ones heart I said to him Mr. Child I thought by your deportment when you was at my house the burden was pretty well off or to that effect Mr. Child No no my burden is greater than I can bear I would fain be satisfied as touching one thing Mr. K. What is that Mr. Jo. Child Whether my sin may not be that against the Holy Ghost Mr. K. I hope and believe it is not Mr. Child But I wrote the Book out of malice Mr. K. There is a great deal of difference between doing a thing out of malice and prejudice against the Lord's People and acting out of malice against Christ himself or doing despight to the Spirit of Grace I do not doubt but that you always had holy and reverent dread and respect to the Name of God tho' you might take up a great offence against some of his People Mr. Child I have often had that Scripture brought to me Psal 50.19 20. Thou givest thy mouth to evil and with thy tongue thou forgest deceit Thou sittest and speakest against thy brother and slanderest thy mothers son And of that which follows Consider this ye that forget God lest I tear you in pieces Mr. K. But pray observe tho' you should be guilty of that great evil there mentioned yet there is ground of hope in that you are exhorted to consider I used many Arguments to perswade him to rely on the mercy of God thro' Christ mentioning that passage of the Prophet David Forgive me my sin for it is great and how wonderfully he had manifested and magnified the attribute of his mercy in pardoning great and bloudy sinners Mr. Child Breaking forth into bitter tears cried out I know that the Majesty of Heaven is a good and gracious Being yet when provoked stretching forth his hands in a frightful manner he is a terrible God Mr. K. I think it is necessary that you retract what you have written in that Book for that I think nothing short of it will be
a demonstration of the sincerity of your heart and proof of the truth of your repentance Mr. Child I have begun to write but I cannot write neither have I any one of the Books Mr. K. I will see and get you one of them and send it to you At another time I advised him to consult some Physician about his health To which he made no answer Mr. K. Shall I acquaint any persons with your condition mentioning some worthy Ministers to him whom he knew Mr. Child formerly had a great esteem for Mr. Child I should be glad to s●e Mr. P. Mr. K. assured him he would do his endeavour therein and accordingly did and made known his fearful state to divers others by which means Mr. J. sent him a comfortable Letter and many godly persons went to visit him Mr. K. at another Visit not long before his death perceiving the anguish of his Spirit was rather greater than ever asked him Have you not yet any more light Mr. Child No nor never shall Mr. K. Shall I and two or three more such as you shall best approve of come and spend some time in Prayer to the Lord for you To which he gave no answer tho' much prest to it Mr. Child at another time said I have touched the Apple of God's Eye I am damned Mr. Child's Wife said That she found sometimes in the night-season that the very ends of his Hair did stand in drops thro' the anguish of his Spirit continually crying out against himself for writing that Book A Letter in July 1684. from Mr. J. to Mr. Child I Am informed that your Soul is greatly afflicted in the sence of your Evil I design not to add to your grief but as I ought to pity the afflicted Our Lord will not break the bruised Reed nor quench the smoaking Flax And I have learned from him my part the duty of a true Neighbour to do what I can for cleansing and healing the Wounds you have made in your own Conscience Thereforefore I pray you consider 1. God's own Children are sometimes guilty of backsliding 2. That 't is the Will of God they should return to him from whom they have revolted 3. That he is ready to receive and heal them upon their return and I pray God you may be helpt to say the next words in sincerity of heart Behold I come unto thee for thou art the Lord my God Consider upon repentance and returning Isai 55 God will abundantly pardon such as have abundantly sinned The Lord help you to plead as David did For thy name sake pardon my iniquity for it is great Psal 2● Consider Christ is able to save to the utmost Heb. 7. them that come unto God by him Let these few Lines be acceptable to you from him who prayeth for you and remains Your Cordial Friend J. J. Upon the receipt and reading this Letter Mr. Child was heard to say What! is J. J. whom I have so greatly envied so kind to me and presently set Pen to Paper and writ and in some few days sent a doleful Letter to the said J. J. A Copy whereof follows Mr. J. July 30. 1684. YOurs I received this day but without date the latter part of which hath attained its wish and desire for it is very acceptable unto me and can be no otherwise where the least degrees of gratitude do remain And for the Expressions of your Christian love and desires of my happiness in all respects lays a double obligation upon me to esteem your friendship What you have been informed of my Souls affliction is true and I think no small cause for it dishonour to God grieving his Spirit sinning against Christ blaspheming his Tabernacle persecuting the Saints grieving and wounding thousands dear to Jehovah stumbling the Weak shortning Life weakning Senses destroying rational Powers giving occasion to the wicked to blaspheme and the uncircumcised to rejoyce the destroying inward Peace and outward Felicity the turning Light into Darkness and the Noon-day into horrible Night the provoking God to make the Heavens Brass the Earth Iron and the Rain nothing but Powder and Dust the shutting a man out from the comforts of the Promises and bringing of him under the most dismal Threats that ever an Almighty Being gave forth marring all Comforts spoiling all Joys making the Life a Burthen and Death a Terrour the putting besides Duty and all acceptable improvements of Talents the giving the Devil advantage and bringing the Salvation into imminent danger the being possest with Doubts Fears and Tremblings night and day the sad savour of Gall and Wormwood and harsh relish of Gravel-stones the sad apprehensions of Curses Blasting and Mildew of Caterpillars Locusts and Cancer-worms the dismal sound of the mad Prophets words I shall see him but not now I shall behold him but not nigh is a sufficient ground of Soul-affliction Your tender aim and charitable design in the balmy Application you sent I have reason well and kindly to resent and wish they had been high enough to hit the mark and have answered the design Had I been a Backslider of an ordinary size they might have had an effectual Operation but to that it 's vastly different I have a Voice behind me or dire Texts that make a dreadful sound To love and to make lyes is a qualification for the Lake He shall have Judgment without mercy that shewed none To offend one little one is a sin against Christ and a condition worse than to have a Milstone about the neck with a cast into the Sea To slander the Mothers Son is near destruction by a tearing to pieces but what is prepared and justly deserved for condemning many Generations of the just branding and wounding and grieving Thousands and Ten Thousands of good and just Men by charging Consequences upon their Principles beyond the sence of their minds and rendring them not only mislead and deceived but no Church no Christians vile Monsters Infidels Robbers of God my Murderers of the worst sort and highest order great Enemies to their Native Country but the aking of my Heart stops the progress of my Hand upon the repetition of these astonishing things I thank you for your kindness I beg pardon for my own shortness and conclude these Lines very sad and hopeless John Child After the receipt of this from Mr. J. Child J. J. wrote again to him to this effect Mr. John Child Aug. 1. 1684. IN continuance of my tender Compassions because of your Soul's Afflictions and being encouraged by your kind acceptance of those few Lines I sent you before I now write again taking notice of your many doleful Expressions wherein you highly and I hope humbly aggravate your Backsliding from God wronging his Servants and toward the close that my application of God's healing backsliding Children might have hit the Mark had you been a Backslider of an ordinary size Now therefore that I may be a little helpful to your distressed Soul
set forth the Nonconformist setting light by Church-Ministers esteeming of them Sons of Beelzebub Merchants of Babilon or broken Armies of Magog is highly devilish full of poison and calls for great damnation to affirm that the generality of the Nonconformist-Preachers are weak shallow illiterate and inconsiderate Men is a damnable lye for they are generally sober and thinking men to call them Brethren with such blasting and poisonous breath is the Serpent and worse than a Dog Pag. 26. If the Nation should be influenced by such men as the flocking to them and leaving the other tends thereunto then down goes our Schools of Learning the famous Universities and not only so but down goes our Churches and Publick Meeting-places which are the best conveniences for solemnizing of Gods Publick Worship As I knew a mechanic Brother once that wished that all the Parish-Churches in England were of one intire body and that he was able with a Cable to draw them into the Sea he would do it thô he perished with them And this not all neither but down goes the Ministers Maintenance I might inlarge here but I spare the weak 1. They deny Learning 2. They trample Tradition 3. Reason itself this noble and renowned Soul falls under the same misfortune with its good old Friend and Neighbour Tradition Oh! what Clamours have we raised against it calling of it carnal Reason corrupted Reason blind Guide and what not and blows struck ready to break the Pulpit that they may thump it down sufficiently To bring in one person that might be mad and mislead and Enemy to Parish-Churches and desire their downfal and to lodge this at the doors of the Party It makes the Author a grand Devil That passage I might enlarge here but I spare the weak savours of contempt and hellish pride to say that they deny Learning trample upon Tradition and beat down Reason is so grand a lye that the Author can never stand under it when God comes to judge for it Pag. 28. They tolerate men uncapable of the former and very defective in the latter such whose learning never made them capable of reading with a didinct and proper pronunciation They slight undervalue and reject men of the best parts and learning in the Land as might be made appear nor only by the surly carriages they shew towards them but by shunning their company and at all times refusing to hear them To set aside more private disorders we have them that are open to the sight of the Sun viz. forty distinct Sects some say twenty at least That they tolerate Men uncapable of Tradition and defective in Reason slight and reject men of the best parts and learning in the Land and shew it by such carriages and shunning their company at all times refusing to hear them This is so notorious and foul a slander that declares the Author to be a blind and besotted Devil To number up the Sects to twenty or forty carries a secret malice in it that must be accounted for Pag. 29 30. That such do most abound and we are most certain to have them in the Ministry of the Church of England for the clearing of this the experience of many years tells us that out of the Ministry of the Church of England we have had Men fit to Preach before great and mighty Princes the high Courts of Parliament the grave and reverend Judges of the Realm the Magistrates and Courts of Aldermen in great Cities and Corporations yea their Learning and Education hath been such as hath rendred them fit to be Counsellors of State to give Advice to Princes to go Ambassadors upon grand Messages for their Countrey 's good into Foreign Parts But where have any arose out of the Mechanic Preachers of the Nonconformists And is not this for the honour of a Nation where Science shall so flourish that a sort or rank of men which commonly is below the Gentry in point of descent should by Learning and good Education become able to deliver God's Message to their Princes and Rulers and their Princes Ambassages to Foreign States and would not all this be lost if the Nation should be suffered to lose its Learning and to be immersed into dull and clownish Illiteracy There will be a freedom from a needless charge in contributing to the maintenance of weak and silly Men who carelesly leave either their civil Callings and expose their Families to ruin and decay and to depend upon others to be provided for under a pretence of being called to Preach when God knows they do not understand their A B C in Religion can hardly speak common sence and are so far from being able to convince critical Gainsayers as that they know not how to teach the Ignorant or to form one right intelligible Notion of Points fundamental nay such they are as often preach Nonsence Confusion and sometimes Blasphemy It is suggested as if the learning of the Nation and mens being made useful thereby was in danger of being lost if the Noncons should prosper That many Preachers leave their Gallings and Families under pretence of being called to preach that understand not their A B C can hardly speak common Sence that often preach Nonsence Confusion and sometimes Blasphemy that have not an habit of Knowledge nor Books nor allow themselves time to study A further Account of the sad State of Mr. John Child as it was written with his own Hand being found in his house after his death and delivered by his Wife to Mr. H.C. take as followeth Pride Folly Madness Villany and great wickedness retracted THat Satan may fill the hearts of men as to make them forget God grieve his good Spirit sin against Christ offer horrible violence to the light of Grace the sacred Law of their Maker and the rational powers of their own Souls as well as cause grief and piercing sorrow to the hearts of their dear Brethren is not only verified and confirmed by variety of bad Examples and instances both from Scripture and History but hath also appeared notorious and evident in a late unparallel'd instance of one who hath been a Professor of the Christian Religion and that after the most strictest manner of these latter times for many years viz. The Author of the Second Argument who forgetting God and the great Obligation he stood in to Him and to all Mankind especially the good and best part thereof did suffer himself so far to be acted by a diabolical influence and the ministry of Darkness as not only to desert those persons which he did believe and knew to be God's Jewels choice and good but with a hard heart and bold impudent and steeled forehead a most poysonous breath and viperous tongue did set forth to the great dishonour of God and the unspeakable grief of multitudes of good and pious Souls a prophane and scandalous Libel under pretence of perswading to Peace and Unity whereas the chiefest design of it was to advance his