Looks made the Treasure in him wholly unsuspected by Strangers to him yet they that were intimately Acquainted with him can attest unto the Veracity of him that giveth this Description and there are no mean Persons who will profess with Admiration That they could scarce encounter him in any Theme of Discourse which he was not very notably acquainted with But the Bark is now split in which all these Riches were stowed A Spanish wrack hath not more Silver than the Grave of such a Young Man hath Learning buried in it Indeed these things Mortâ— Erunt perhaps they dyed with him Buâ— there is a more Immortal thing to be observed in him and that is II. His PIETY Tho' a fine Carriage was the least thing that ever he affected yet a Good Nature made him dear to those that were familiar with him He was always very obliging and officious and more ready to do than others could be to ask a good turn at his hands But he was above all happy by being Early in pure Religion The Common Effects of such a Piouâ— Education as the Family in which he lived afforded unto him were seen even in his Childhood and secret Prayer became very betimes one of his Infant Exercises He does in his MSs. particularly take notice of a Scripture Copy set for him when he learned to Write as a thing that had much Efficacy on him but when he was Twelve or more Years old more powerful Convictions did the Spirit of God set home upon him than he had been used unto some Records therefore I find in his Papers with this Clause in the Head of the Account Rejoyce O my Soul for the Lord has dealt bountifully with thee Now it was that he allowed his Pen to write these among other Expressions of his Trouble about his Estate Feb. 19. 1682. What shall I do What shall I do to be sav'd Without a Christ I am undone undone undone for Evermore O Lord let me have Christ tho' I lye in the Mire for ever O for a Christ O for a Christ a Christ Lord Give me a Christ or I dye It was now another of his Registred Meditations I have been in a Great Hesitancy whether I should choose Jesus Christ for my Prophet Priest and King with all his Inconveniencies to take up my Cross and follow him Wherefore I do now take him as mine my whole Christ and my only Christ and I am resolved to seek him All that I have shall be at his Service and all my Members and all my Powers shall endeavour his Glory And yet again there were these Considerations in his Mind Had I not better seek the Lord Christ while I have a Time of Prosperity and Peace while he offers himself to me saying Come unto me and I will save thee and lay all thy Burdens upon me and I will sustain thee Than in Affliction to cry and not be heard when he stretcheth forth his Hand and says Believe on me and thou shalt be saved and now to Day he offers himself shall I refuse and say Lord To Morrow No surely And these pathetical Groans then likewise got a Room in his Papers O that I had a Christ O that I had Him who is the Delight of my Soul Then O then I should be perfectly Blessed and want no food that would make me so This is a Copy of the Passages then Recorded in this Young Believers Diary Thus did he now Labour to affect his own Soul with his own State and leave things no more at peradventures between God and him He read many savoury Books about Faith and Repentance and Conversion and he Transcribed many Notes therefrom not resting satisfied within himself until he had some experience of a true Regeneration Among other workings of his Heart at this Age his Papers have such things as these Reasons for my speedy closing with Jesus Christ First It 's the Command of Jesus Christ that I should come unto him Secondly Jesus Christ Invites me also in Matt. 11. 28. Come unto me Thirdly He hath laid me under many Obligations to turn unto him in that he hath recovered me from Sickness so often and now given me a curious Study Fourthly In that I have vow'd unto the Lord if he would do so and so for me I would make a solemn Covenant with him and endeavour to serve him And again elsewhere O that God would help me to seek Him while I am Young O that he would give unto me His Grace However I will lay my self down at his Feet If he Save me I shall be happy for ever if he Damn me I must Justifie him O thou Son of God have mercy on me I know not what to say but I will take thee at thy Word Thou sayst Come unto me my Soul answers Lord at thy Command I will come He thus continued following hard after God enjoying and answering many striveings of his Holy Spirit until he was about Fourteen Years Old. In this time he did not a little acquaint himself with profitable Godliness being frequent and fervent in his Prayers to God upon all occasions and careful not only to hear Sermons but also to consider after them what Improvement he should make of what he heard Not only his Prayers but his Praises too now took notice of even the smallest Affairs before him I know not whether you can see any thing Childish I am sure I see something serious in a passage or two that I shall fetch out of his Diary written when he was about Thirteen years old On March 13. he wrote This day I received of my Father that famous Work The Biblia Polyglotta for which I desire to praise the Name of God Again on June 29 he wrote This day my Brother gave me Schindlers Lexicon a Book for which I had not only longed much but also prayed unto God Blessed be the Lords Name for it The Thoughts of Death also now found a Lodging in his Heart and he Rebuked himself because he had been so much without them Tho' at this Age for the most part Persons think of any thing every thing more than of their dying day And his writings discovered him to be pecâ—liarly affected with that Ancient History or Apologue of him who after a dissolute and ungodly Youth going to repent in Age heard that Voice from Heaven to him Des illi Furfurem cui dedisti Farinam The Devil had thy Flower and thou shalt not bring thy Bran to me Self-Examination was also become one of his Employments and once particularly in one of his Diaries he does thus express himself April 8. 1683. This Morning I was much cast down with the sense of my Vileness I Examin'd I. What Sins I had that were not Mortified 1. My sin of Pride 2. My sin of Vnthankfulness 3. My not improving the means of Grace as I ought to do II. What Graces I find need of 1. Converting and Regenerating Grace 2. Humiliation for my
like them that can say Meditation is sweet unto me 'T is said of Isaac He walked in the Fields to Meditate And indeed He walked with God when he was alone at that Imployment We should after a Sermon retire to Ruminate thereupon We should in an Evening reflect upon God's Mercy to us and our Carriage to him in the day foregoing We should often single out some Text or some Truth to Exercise our Thoughts upon This will strengthen us for our Walk Again Let us by a Sacramental Eating Feed upon the Bread of God. It is dreadful to see what multitudes do turn their backs upon the Table of the Lord. Alas that ever Men should break the Laws of God yea and the Vows of God as they do by this Omission Art not thou Baptized and now Old enough to be Confirmed Then as often as thou withdrawest from the Supper of the Lord he sets that mark upon thee There goes a Covenant-breaker out of Doors Answer to this Hast thou a sincere desire to Walk with God or no If thou hast not how darest thou sleep in that horrible Perilous Vnregeneracy If thou hast then come hither Come lamenting all thy Infirmities Let thy weakness quicken thee and not hinder O come for thy Food so thou shalt Walk and not faint yea Run and not be weary RULE IV. Let us be with God that we may Walk with Him. Be alwayes on God's side against Sins side All other siding may be culpable but this is Necessary this is Praise-worthy Indeed Sin that calls like Jehu in 2. King. 9. 32. Who is on my side who This is the outcry of Superstition and Profanity Who is on my side who But let me oppose that of Moses hereunto in Exod. 32. 26. Who is on the Lords side Even so Who is on the side of Godliness and Honesty Who is on the side of Holiness and Sobriety Who will bear a Testimony to all the Truths and all the Wayes of the Lord Let us all be on that side and Walk accordingly RULE V. Let us remember that we are Walking and it will be with God. Keep up the frame of Mortals and the frame of Strangers in the World. O Remember as Joshua in Josh 23. 14. I am going the way of all the Earth Remember thou art a Traveller The Psalmist says in Psal 39. 12. I am a Sojourner with God. The way to be with God is to remember I am a Sojourner O Remember this I am walking on the Borders of Eternity every day I am walking apace towards an eternal home This will make our Walk more amiable than that of the three things which go well or than that of the four things which are comely in their going THE GOOD END OF A GOOD WALK GEN. V. 24. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 And he was not for God took him THe Walk of Holy and Happy Men has been the Subject of our Discourse Behold the End of that Walk now offering it self unto consideration with us The Psalmist hath said unto us in Psal 37. 37. Mark the perfect and behold the upright for the end of that man is peace In the blessed Enoch we may see such an End of such a Man. Two little Clauses comprize the Account which Moses has given of it and the double Estate of this Great Saint is therein referred unto First It is said He was not This points at that Estate which he passed from You may conceive what he was in regard of his Condition and Employment here But now he was not that Sufferer he was not that Preacher any more Secondly It is said God took him This points at that Estate which he passed into Good took him to Himself God took him unto all that Light and Life and Heaven which the Angels themselves had before the Ascension of the Lord Jesus Christ All that we have hitherto been told seems to be no more than what befalls every godly Man. But no less an Interpreter than the Spirit of God himself by the Apostle Paul has illustrated this Text with a more surprizing Interpretation of it Consult Heb. 11. 5. and we have this Paraphrase hereupon Here it is said He was not There 't is said He was not Found It seems that this Famous Prophet suddenly â—â—sappeared from the view of the World All Mankind with Wonder sought and ask'd and look'd after Enoch as they did after Elijah at another time but they could not find him Why What vvas become of him Here 't is said God took him There 't is said God had translated him that he should not see Death This was a very marvellous Providence He had born a zealous Witness for the Worship and the Truths and the ways of God against a wicked World. God vvould make them see that he own'd the Testimony and the Conversation of this vvorthy Man. Hence though Abel was murdered for his Piety Enoch shall be translated for his He was immediately fetched and changed into the Circumstances of the Glorified Thus he became as Tertullian says of him A Candidate of Eternity The Doctrine which we are hence allowed an Application of is DOCT. To be taken by God from a Mortal Estate on Earth to a Glorious Estate in Heaven is the Priveledge of them that Walk with him PROP. I. They that Walk with God shall be Taken by God from their Mortal Estate on Earth The Scholars of the Colledge at Bethel said once unto Elijah in 2 King. 2. 3. Knowest thou that the Lord will take away thy master from thy head to day And he said Yea I know it In like manner it may be said unto the Body of the Christian Knowest thou that the Lord will take away thy Master thy Spirit from thy Head into another state one day Every Believer may reply Yes I know that it will be so Our Estate in this World is an Estate of Tryal God is here Trying and Framing and Shaping of us in order to everlasting Happiness or Misery And it is an Estate of Trouble too Our Fall from God is the occasion of the many Distresses that belong unto it This Mortal Estate of ours the Lord will one day take us from One day but on what day shall this Deliverance be Truly at our last day at the Day of our Death at the day that we are most ready to tremble at On that Day the Lord will deliver us from the hand of all our enemies and from the hand of sin First God will take the Believer from the state of a Sinner here The dolorous Anguishes of the best Men alive are like those of the Apostle in Rom. 7. 24. O wretched man that I am who shall deliver me from the body of this death Soul I will tell thee what shall do it The Death of this Body shall That that will do the deed The Believer is now lamenting My iniquities are more than the hairs of my head he is now lamenting My wounds stink and are corrupt
God will take us where they shall be our intimate Companions We shall move and live among those morning Stars The First-born they are our Familiars here we covet their being so notwithstanding all the Folly and Error and Ill humour that is often in them God will take us vvhere we shall associate our selves with all that ever feared God and not one breach of Charity shall ever disturb our Conversation there Fourthly The State which God will take the Believers into the Comforts of will be an Eternal State. God will take us to an House but what a one We read in 2 Cor. 5. 1. It will be an eternal House God will take us to a Glory But of what sort is it We read in 1 Pet. 5. 10. It is an eternal glory God will take us to an Inheritance But how long shall it last We read in Heb. 9. 15. It is an Eternal Inheritance Truly it is a Life Eternal which our God will take us to We shall be in it as many Millions of Ages as there are Drops in the Ocean or Atoms in the Universe yet Believer thou shalt say My Heaven will infinitely outlast as many Ages more Prop. III. There is a variety of Dispensation used by God in his thus taking of them that Walk with him The Lords taking of Men is in general by his changing of them it is by making that they shall not be Not an Annihilation but a vast Alteration happens to Believers when it shall be said of them They are not And then they are taken by the Lord And in particular it is managed three such ways as these First It is by Dying when we Dye then we are not The Dying Man may say as in Psal 39. 13. I go hence I am no more The Dead Man is not a Man in such a place he is not a Man of such a Thought he is not acting upon such Objects as he was before When a Man is ready to Dye we perceive it by Changing as we call it of the Man much more when a Man is dead he is a changed Man. Then it is that we are taken by the Lord Thus it is said in Isa 57. 1. The Righteous is taken away The Spirit is then taken to all the Delights and Pleasures that a separate Soul can feed upon Secondly It is by Rising When vve Rise at the last day then vve are not vve are not such feeble vvretched things as we are this day The Resurrection will bring a marvellous Change on the Subjects of it It is the Speech of Job in Ch. 14. 14. If a man dye shall he live again He seems to refute vvhat he did recite just before as the Opinion of too many Men and say now Yes that he shall find And hence it is added I will wait all the Dayes of my appointed time until my Change come What Change is that I will not exclude or oppose the common sense of it yet I would humbly suggest vvhy may it not be the Change which the next Words referr unto Thou shalt call and I will answer thee thou wilt have a desire to the work of thine Hands At the Resurrection it will be so God will then have a Desire to see our once Curious but novv Rotten Body set in order again he shall then call Arise ye Dead where are you Arise And we shall start out of the Dust as it were ansvvering Lord I come This the Departed Soul is to keep waiting for It seems more than a Moment it may seem a long while to the Soul 'till this be accomplished Then it is also that we are taken by the Lord with some respect unto this our Lord said unto his Disciples in Joh. 14. 3. I will come again and take you unto my self The Body is then also taken to be an Incorruptible a Spiritual and a Powerful Instrument of the Soul in all the motions of it Thirdly There is another Taking that some have Experience of and that is by Translation There are some Persons in whom the Vnion between their spirits and their bodies never is dissolved by the Ministry of Angels they are both in spirit and in body too made capable of a present entrance into the Kingdom of God and so those vvinged Messengers of Heaven carry them avvay vvithout any more ado This vvas the Prerogative of Enoch before the Law and of Elijah under it I believe this would have been the Case of all Men if Adam had not sinned vvhen he did and there are many thousands of Pious People vvith vvhom it will yet be so At the second Coming of our Lord there will be multitudes of Christians in the World vvhat vvill become of them vvhen the Fire of God shall be flaming and raging as far as Noah's Flood did extend of old How shall they get out of the vvay of that horrible Fire that shall consume and carry all before be Hear Davids Answer to that Question in 1 Chron. 28. 15. Our days on Earth are as a Shadow and there is none abiding Let James answer it in Jam. 4. 14. What is your Life it is even a Vapour that appeareth for a little time and vanishes away Let Joâ— answer it in Job 9. 25. My dayes are swifter than a Post they are passed away as the swift Ships as an Eagle that hastens to the Prey Our Age is now contracted into Seventy Years and how few reach to Seventy in comparison of them that never see Twenty of them Besides a big part of our few dayes are already past and gone with many of us How many may sadly sit and sigh and say this day I have been here but a little while yet I cannot now be so long more as I have already been Consider 2. If God then take us not who will I have read of a profane Monster who on one side of his Sword had the Picture of Christ on the other side the Picture of the Devil with this Motto under it Si tu non vis iste rogitat If He won't Take me here 's One that will. Horrid Creature But that Frenzy is almost equalled among us by those that wish the Devil to take them every day Alas that that will be the horrible Destruction of them that shall not be taken by the Lord. It is a fearful Curse upon the wicked Man in Psal 109. 6. Let Satan stand at his right hand Thus O thus it will be When the Soul of a wicked Man is going away a Devil a Dragon stands by his Bed-side and will take and hold and wound that miserable Soul. Yea there is a more astonishing Vengeance to come upon such a Man. If a Man be not taken by the saving Hands he will be taken by the damning Hands of God himself The Hands of the Great and Terrible God will for ever take those that fall thereinto and smite them and slay them with immediate Impressions of his Fiery Wrath. But what sayes the Apostle in
Laws as Holy Just and Good and do promise to take them as the Rule of my Thoughts Words aâ— Actions but because I am subject 〈◊〉 many failings through frailty I do heâ— protest here before thee that unalloâ—ed miscarriages contrary to the constaâ—bent of my Heart shall not disanâ—â— this everlasting Covenant Nathanael Matheâ— It may justly be taken for granted thâ— such a work as this would have an inflâ—ence into his Conversation afterwards and so it had producing in him a Conveâ—sation which became the Gospel of Christ Hâ— kept waiting upon God not only in tâ—â— Family but also under the Ministry of tâ—â— that were near a-Kinn unto him namely his Father and his Brother whereby thâ— Grace thus begun in him was not a liâ—tle cherished and promoted And untâ— all known sins he now kept saying asâ— find once in Short-hand written by him To my Lusts I have had Communion with you all thâ—â— while but I dare not have so any longer Wherefore I renounce all Communion with yâ—â— any more I will cleave to the God that made mâ— But a Year or two after this it was witâ— him as I have observed it is too commonly with such as are Converted betimes unto God. An unhappy gradual Apostacy carried him aside from those degrees of seriousness and intenseness in divine things which he had been used unto 'T is possible an entanglement in a Familiarity with some that were no better than they should be did abate of the good savour which had been upon him and decoy him by insensible steps to some vanities tho' not to any scandalous immoralities that were disadvantageous to him For divers Months he seemed somewhat yet not totally much less finally forsaken of that Wisdom and Vertue which he had before been an example of but the good Spirit of God will not let go his Interest in a Soul of which he hath taken a saving hold This Young Man soon entertained just resentments of his own declensions and it was impossible for the most Badger-tooth'd malice in the World to aggravate any of his Errors half so much as he did himself in his own Repentance for them In the Year 1685. God visited him with sore Terrors and Horrors in his wounded Soul the anguish whereof he thought intolerable yet he made not his condition known to any Body all the while He could say My complaint is not to man but he made it unto the Lord This poor man cryed and the Lord heard and delivered him out of his distresses He arrived in time unto some settlement and renewal of his Peace with God He confessed and bewailed his own sins before the Lord and declared his detestation of them and applyed himself unto the Lord Jesus Christ for Salvation from them all Good terms being thus establish't between the Almighty Lord and this Immortal Soul he maintained I think a constant and an even Walk with God until he dyed I find now that Language in his MSS Let me be as active a Servant of Christ as I was of Satan heretofore For more than the three last years of his Life he lived at a strange rate for Holiness and Gravity and retired Devotions He read Mr. Scudders Christians daily walk and Dr. Owen of Spiritual Mindedness and had a restless raging Agony in his Mind untiâ— the Methods of Religion advised by thosâ— worthy Men were Exemplified in his own Behaviour 'T is a note in one oâ— his Diaries O my great unprofitableness under thâ— means of Grace I have cause to bless God for ever for the Writings of that never enough to be admired and loved by me Dr. Reynolds and for the Light I have received thereby concerning the sinfulness of Sin as also that excellent Book of him whom I shall always honour Dr. Owen of Spiritual-mindedness and Mr. Scudders Christians daily Walk by which three Books I have profited more than by any other S. Scripturis exceptis in the World. He was at first surprized at the measure of Spiritual-mindedness without which that great Saint Dr. Owen apprehends the Life and Peace of Souls to labour under prejudice and he thought a Mind swallowed up in such Heavenly Frames and Works as were needful thereunto almost wholly to be despair'd of until as himself a few hours before he dyed said unto me he deem'd he saw an Instance of such a Walk with God not very far from the place of his abode To which purpose his reserv'd Papers have a large Discourse of which this is in the Conclusion There might be a greater Progress in Religion than is commonly thought for What have I Examples for but to imitate them Abraham is fam'd for believing so strongly when he had no Example before him Let me try and see whether I having such opportunities may not arrive to as high a pitch in Christianity as any that I have known He then in the strength and thrô the Love of God set himself into a vvay of strict secret laborious Devotion vvhereby thô none but God and He fill'd the Theatre vvhich he acted upon he vvould be in the Fear of the Lord all the day long He withdrew from the delight of this World and gave himself up to an assiduous Contemplation of God and Christ and a sedulous endeavour after utmost conformity unto him Thus 〈◊〉 kept abounding in the Work of the Lord until three Years of wonderful Holiness had ripened him for eternal Happiness My Account of him will be an unfinished Piece unless all the ensuing stroke go to make it up These things he was Exemplary for First He was one that walked by RVLE He was very Studious to learn the waâ— of conversing with God in every Duty and there vvas a Rule which he attended still unto In his private Papers I find a wiâ—â— Collection of Rules by which he goverâ—ed himself in the several Duties of Chrâ—stianity and in all the Seasons and Stations of his Life He consulted the best Authors for Instruction in the Affairs of practical Religion and not into Paper only but into Action to be transcribed what he most approved in all which The Will of God was the bright Pole-Star by which he steer'd his Course The Reader shall enjoy and O that he would follow two of this Young Man's Directories One of them was this I. O that I might lead a spiritual Life Wherefore let me regulate my Life by the Word of God and by such Scriptures as these 1. For regulating my Thoughts Jer. 4. 14. Isa 55. 7. Mal. 3. 17. Psal 104. 34. Phil. 4. 8. Prov. 23. 26. Deut. 15. 9. Eccles 10. 20. Prov. 24. 9. Mat. 9. 4. Zech. 8. 17. 2. For regulating my Affections Col. 3. 2 5. Gal. 5. 24. For my Delight Psal 1. 2. Psal 37. 5. For my Joy Phil. 4. 4. Psal 43. 4. My Desire Isa 26. 8 9. Ezek. 7. 16. My Love Mat. 22. 37. Psal 119. 97. My Hatred Psal 97. 10. My Fear Luk. 12. 4 5. My Hope Psal 39. 7.
Meditation to humble my self and every tvvo Months to keep a Day of private Thanksgiving But though his Prayers were chiefly in yet they were not confined to his Closet There vvere divers Private Praying Meetings of younger People in North-Boston vvhich he visited as often as he could and one of those might peculiarly be called His. Yea it vvas his desire though vvith as little aim to be seen of men as could be to support all such opportunities of Good among them that vvere of the same age with him Wherefore I find this among the Notes in his Diary Quest What shall I do for God Ans It vvas suggested to me to get some of my Acquaintance to spend some vvhile every Friday night in Prayer for the Success of the Work of Grace in New-England especially in Boston on the Souls of the Rising Generation Let me propound this to some serious devout young Persons Thus vvas his Prayer as it vvere his Breath and thus he vvas always fetching of it untll at last it expir'd in Praise Praise for evermore Thirdly He was one that Thought much of his GOD and his END There was a sort of Heaven formed in the just Soul of this Young-man by the Thoughts that were continually sparkling there He had an unpacifiable Dissatisfaction at himself until good Thoughts were lodg'd in him and vain ones were forced to gnash their teeth and melt away Nothing would content him but the bringing of his Thoughts into a Subjection to the Lord Jesus Christ Wherefore he chew'd much on the excellent Sermon of Mr. Charnock about Thoughts which he wrote out not only with his hand but in his heart and made it the very Mould of his gracious Mind There are none but very Renew'd Souls that are at great pains in a course of Meditation on the things of God. Yet this Young-man like another Isaac vvas grovvn very expert at it and frequent in it It was his manner in the Morning to meditate very seriously and fixedly upon some Truth or some Text for a good part of an hour together He had collected a good variety of Subjects and Scriptures to handle in thus communing with himself and went over more than a little Divinity in this transcendent Exercise Sometimes when thus he separated himself to intermeddle with all wisdom I find him committing his Thoughts or some breviate of them unto the durable custody of his Papers from vvhich Memoirs I vvill produce but an Instance or tvvo of many August 16. 1685. Med. about The reason I have to love God because of what he has been to me and what he is in himself And I thought Is not God the Best Good Surely then he is worthy to be my Last End. Has he not been shewing many Mercies to me and what shall I not resign up my self to Live unto God because of his goodness to me Much affected with the thoughts of these things And I hope I closed with the Motion Again October 1. Meditated on that If a Man does intend to be truly Religious he must expect nothing but to save his Soul But how can this be true Must I lose my Body altogether Must I be vvilling that the Vnion between my Body and Soul should for evermore be loosed Must I be willing to be for ever without a Body No no. All that the Lord requires of me is to have my Body for a few days or years a few I say for they cannot be many to be wholly at the service of my Soul and to be willing that the Vnion between those two Mates then should be dissolved the Soul first taking its progress into everlasting Bliss the Body being laid in the Dust to rise at the Resurrection accompanying the Soul into its eternal Felicity My present Notion of this thing is this This Dissolution of the Union between the Soul and Body is but a Dismission of the Spirit into its happiness after a wearisom conflict here And as long as it shall be best for me to be here here I shall continue Infinite Wisdom is to be the Orderer of this and it will be a grievous and shamefuâ— reflection thereupon for me to say It will be better for me to live than to dye at such a time when I am called thereunto With my Body I must expect to lose all the pleasant Enjoyments of this World Liberty Library Study and Relations But yet neither shall I lose these As for my Liberty by True Religion and by Dying for it too when need requires I shall gain the only Liberty even from the body of sin As for my Library if I die for Christ or in the Lord I shall have no need of it My Understanding shall be enough enlarged and I shall not need to turn over Books for Learning As for my Study my Paradice I shall have a better a larger and a more compleat than this As for my Relations those of them that are truly pious I shall only go before them and if there should be any of them not pious the longer I should stay with them here if they continue impenitent it would but make my Grief more intolerable to think vvhen I leave them that I shall have no hopes to see them again for ever But this is not all neither My Body must be used as the Souls Instrument and here all that strength and â—ase vvhich I have must be used for the Soul And truly there is reason enough for it that so there may be eternal happiness for both together In Marriage the Husband and Wife should have the same design Would it not be inhumane for the one to have a design which tends to the ruine of the other Just so my Soul and Body should have the same design and the Body being the more vile of the two should be subordinate to the Soul. And it is a necessary disjunction either the Body the strength and ease and members of it must be used for the good or for the hurt of the Soul there is no medium here Let me then herein make my Body useful to my Soul in accomplishing all the good-designs of it which it is capable of being interested in Nor is there any thing else worth speaking of that must be foregone except health and the momentaneousness of all bodily Torments will make them very tolerable My Resolutions be That I will not expect by devoting my self unto the Fear of God to gain any thing as to my Body in this World. That through the Grace of Christ I will use the strength ease health of my Body yea my whole Body in Subordination to my Soul in the Service of the Lord Jesus With such Meditations as these he kept mellowing of his own Soul and preparing it for the state wherein Faith is turned into Sight But there was yet a more delightful and surprizing way of Thinking after which he did aspire He considered that the whole Creation was full of God and that there was not
a Leaf of Grass in the Field which might not make an Observer to be sensible of the Lord. He apprehended that the idle Minutes of our Lives were many more than a short liver should allow That the very Filings of Gold and of Time were exceeding precious and that there were little fragments of hours intervening between our more stated businesses wherein Thoughts of God might be no less pleasant than frequent with us The Elegant and Excellent Meditations of Sir William Waller had particularly affected him unto a commendable Emulation of them and hence he did attempt to make even the more common and more trivial occurrents of humane Life the occasions of Great Thoughts within him He would with the Chymistry of Occasional Reflections Distill sublime Spirits from earthly Bodies and from the view of mean things fill his nobly imployed Mind with Lessons and Prayers which only the Father of Spirits was a Witness to Some of these his Occasional Reflections I find in his private Papers and one or two for a taste I will bespeak the Reader 's acceptance of Jan. 8. A. M. Being about to rise I felt the cold in a manner extraordinary which inclin'd me to seek more warmth in my Bed before I rose but so extream was the cold that this was not feasible Wherefore I resolved to dress my self without any more ado and so going to the Fire in my Cloaths I soon became warm enough Turn this O my Soul into an useful Meditation There is a necessity of my rising out of my Bed the Bed of Security which I am under the power of and to live unto Christ and to walk in the Light. In order hereunto I must put on my poor Soul the Garments which are to be had from the Lord Jesus To awaken me out of my sleep and my security I am to set before me the Sun the Gospel of the Sun of righteousness doth inlighten my Mind and tell me that I was before muffled up in darkness and that if I continued therein I should starve and perish I am also taught That when Men are convinced of their miserable condition they will rather endeavour to Ease and comfort and cherish themselves by something in themselves than put on the spiritual Garments which the Lord Jesus Christ has provided for them An Evil to be by me avoided Again another time Upon Water taken from the Fire I saw a lukewarmness quickly seize like the frame of Spirit which many Pretenders to Religion have after a glorious and affectionate Profession of it Of this sort were some among the Laodiceans of old which is exceedingly displeasing to the Lord Jesus Christ Whence it is that he saith I will spew thee out of my mouth Let me endeavour to beware of this hateful and odious frame of Spirit and let the contrary thereto be my desire my endeavour Once more Among some Gentlemen that were sitting in a Room illuminated with a Candle one beginning to read unto us there was another Candle brought unto him for his assistance in it Which afforded me such a Meditation as this That those who are to be Teachers of others have need of as much light again as ordinary Christians have They if any need a double Portion of the Gifts that are in other Men and the helps of Knowledge that other Persons have they much more should be furnish'd withal It was not because they had better Eyes than him whose Office it was to Read that they needed but one Candle when he had two provided for him but the Work incumbent on him and expected from him was the occasion of it But I design little more than a Confirmation with an Illustration of my History for which a touch or two upon every Article will serve I am now to add That this Young Man had a Principal regard unto the Scriptures for the Subjects of his Meditations and he was very expensive of his Thoughts on the Book of God. He was daily digging in the sacred Mines and with delight he fetched thence Riches better than those of both the India's and he could say O how I love thy Law it is my Meditation every day Even in the time of his mortal Sickness he was very angry at himself if he had not heard a Portion of the Bible read unto him from day to day Once when he was near his End a good part of a day having pass'd before he had enjoyed his Meal of Scripture he said unto his Sister with some impatience Alas what an ungodly life do I lead pray come and read my Bible to me and read me the forty ninth Psalm Indeed he read the Scripture not cursorily but very deliberately and considerately and as an effect of his doing so he could give such an account of the Difficulties in it as the most not only of Christians but of Divines too would judge an Attainment extraordinary Not long before he dyed he had read over all the large and great Annotations on the Bible lately published by Mr. Pool and some other Non-conformist Ministers but having dispatched those two noble Folios he said unto one that was intimate with him Thus have I read the Bible but I have now learnt a better way And that way was this He would oblige himself in reading to fetch a Note and a Prayer out of every Verse in all the Bible to dwell upon every verse until it had afforded at least one Observation and one Ejaculation to him He imagined that an incredible deal both of Truth and Grace would in this way make its impression upon his Mind besides what Exercise of Wit it must have call'd for and so most certainly it would have done but before he had made much Progress in it the Chariots of God fetcht him away to that place in which a Jesus is a Bible to the there perfect Spirits of the Righteous Such a thinking Person was he and yet after so many kind of Thoughts in the day he could not rest a Night quietly unless he compos'd himself for sleeping by thinking a little more He knew that no better a Man than one of the Moral Heathens propounded a Nocturnal Self-Examination as a part and cause of no little Wisdom and that much more a sober Christian should endeavour to maintain a good understanding of himself by such Nightly Recollections Wherefore before the Slumbers of the Evening this Young Man would put three General Questions to himself with divers particular ones that were subordinate thereunto The Questions were Question 1. What has God's Mercy to me been this day Here he considered what favours God had newly smil'd upon his inward or his outward man withal Question 2. What has my Carriage to God been this day Here he considered what frames and words and works and what snares and sins he had newly been concerned with Question 3. If I dye this night is my Immortal Spirit safe Of this he judged by his Closure witâ— God as his best