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A28900
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A gold chain of directions, with twenty gold-linkes of love, to preserve love firm between husband and wife during their lives ... by Immanuel Bourne ...
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Bourne, Immanuel, 1590-1672.
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1669
(1669)
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Wing B3853; ESTC R846
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36,985
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212
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contentment and continuance of Love between Husband and Wife is this That there ought to be free Communication of mutual kindness and conjugal engagements one to and with another that mutual Benevolence and Bond of Marriage-Love at times convenient according to the Law of God and Nature read the blessed Apostles Direction 1 Cor. 7.2 3 4 5 c. and that Law of God Leviticus 18.19 and Leviticus 20.18 and Ezekiel 18.6 These Rules observed This Marriage-kindness at fit times is one means to cherish and preserve mutual conjugal Love between Husbands and Wives when as the denial of this loving kindnesse is a dangerous occasion of Breach and Disquietnesse yea sometimes it may prove of separation and an occasion of Damnable sin if God restrain not by his special Grace yet a Bridle must be to restrain Intemperance in all Delights least excess destroy both Souls and Bodies That is a general Rule Phil. 4.5 Let your moderation be known to all men the Lord is at hand He is present to see all our Actions and to bless or punish according to our Obedience or Disobedience to his Commandements Thus you have a seventh Gold-link of Love The eighth followeth The eighth Direction or Gold-link of Love And this is That Husbands and Wives be careful of and ready to shew their love to each others Souls as well as to their Bodies or Estates That Husbands love their Wives as Christ loved his Spouse the Church and gave himself for it that he might sanctifie and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word that he might present it to himself a glorious Church not having spot or wrinkle Eph. 5.25 26 27. or any such thing but that it should be holy and without blemish Husbands ought to take care for the beauty of their Wives Souls as well as of their Bodies that they may be lovely to Christ their heavenly Husbands as well as to them Cant. 4.7 as the Spouse of Christ is to him The Husband which taketh no care for his Wives soul how can he expect that God should bless him with a good Wife The Husband should pray daily for his Wife as St. 1 Thess 5.23 Paul did for his Christian Thessalonians That her whole Spirit Soul and Body be preserved blameless to the coming of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. The Soul is better then a whole World Mat. 16.26 What is a man profited if he gain the whole World and lose his Soul or what shall a man give in exchange for his Soul What saith that great and blessed Apostle He that provideth not for his own especially for them of his own houshold he hath denyed the Faith and is worse then an Infidel 1 Tim. 5.8 And if it be a Duty to provide for the Body of his Family or Houshold then much more for their most pretious and immortal Souls if it possible be in his power and most of all for his Wives Soul which is his second Self and is or ought to be most dear unto his Soul That her Soul may prosper as St. John did testifie of the Soul of his Beloved Gaius 3 John 1.2 That it may appear he loveth his Wife in Truth and so God may bless her unto him for the good of his Soul Body and Estate And so likewise Wives ought to be studious and careful for the good of their Husbands Souls as well as of the health of their Bodies and Estates This is a means by Gods blessing for the preservation of conjugal Love and gratious affections for true joy of Husband and Wife by the Grace and Power of Christ John 15.15 Phil. 4.13 For Husbands and Wives ought to be helpers and means in their places of each others Salvation this St. Paul intimateth 1 Cor. 7.16 requiring cohabitation and dwelling together and he expresseth a Reason What knowest thou O Wife whether thou shalt save thy Husband and how knowest thou O Man whether thou shalt save thy Wife That is be an outward means of Salvation by good Counsel or otherwise by Gods Blessing taking care of the means of Salvation for each other to their powers As the Wives may be a means to win their Husbands by their good Conversations 1 Pet. 3.1 2 3 4. As St. 1 Pet. 3.7 Peter directs So the Husbands may win their Wives if they follow St. Peters Counsel Live with their Wives as men of knowledge giving honour to the Wife as the weaker Vessel that their Prayers be not hindred And this is the greatest love which is shewed to the Souls of each other and a work of high esteem and unspeakable benefit James 5.20 Let him know saith St. James That he which converts a Sinner from the errour of his way shall save a Soul from Death and shall hide a multitude of Sins And thus may a Husband or Wife be helper and means for their eternal mutual happiness if by loving and wise carriage and deportment each to other they can win and gain one or other or both from any evil he or she is subject unto praying to God daily for a Blessing upon their good Endeavours This is a most pretious Gold-link of Love to preserve love and affection and happy peace and prosperity with Husbands and Wives during their lives Now I proceed to a ninth Gold-link A ninth Direction or Gold-link of Love in this Golden Chain of Love This is that Husband be an example to the Wife of Piety and Chastity Religious Love with care of Cherishing his Wife as the weaker Vessel especially in times of Sickness Weakness or other Infirmities as Christ was kind to his Disciples when they were troubled at the news of his Departure from them John 14.1 2 3. Let not your Hearts be troubled ye believe in God believe also in Me in my Fathers House are many Mansions if it were not so I would have told you I go to prepare a place for you And as Christ hath been to his Church and Children in all Ages especially in any sad Dispensation To speak comfortably as the Lord answered the Angel that spake for Jerusalem Zachar. 1.13 The Lord answered the Angel that talked with me with good words and comfortable words Or as Elkanah did to Hannah when peevish and spiteful Peninnah vexed her because she was barren And Elkanah said Hannah why weepest thou I and why eatest thou not I am not I better to thee then ten Sons I Sam. 1.8 And the wife ought to be careful not to provoke her husband by any unkind behaviour towards him but to be ready to shew her love to her husband in sickness and health and both to look to the example of Christ our heavenly husband The husband to love his wife as his own Body for he that loveth his wife loveth himself For no man yet ever hated his own flesh but nourisheth and cherisheth it as the Lord doth the Church Ephes 5.28 29. Each followeth Christ his
and vain as King Solomon witnesses First of Riches Prov. 23.5 Wilt thou set thy Eyes upon that which is not for Riches certainly make themselves Wings and fly away as Eagles towards Heaven They are uncertain 1 Tim. 6.17 and not to be trusted in And again the like for Beauty Favour is deceitful and Beauty is vanity But a Woman that feareth the Lord she shall be praised Prov. 31.30 When a right grounded love in the fear of the Lord which is praise-worthy is permanent and will endure for life I know upon some occasions A prevention of Objection there may want time and opportunity of such a familiar Converse with each other which may be helpful to such a well grounded love as between great Princes who are constrained to Wooe and intercede sometimes by Ambassadors as Isaac Genesis 24 1 2 63. that religious Prince did by the religious Servant of his honourable Father Abraham I call Abraham honourable for he is stiled a mighty Prince Genesis 23.6 And this Ambassadour went to intercede for a Wife for Isaac This done by his Masters Command and no doubt with Isaac's consent who was advised by his Father in choice of his Wife as Rebeckah was by her Parents who willingly sent her with Abraham's Servant yet so as Rebeckah first was asked her consent also as you may read at large Gen. 24.57 58. Gen. 24. Thus religious Isaac walking out into the Fields at Eventide to meditate and pray Gen. 24.63 espieth his Rebeckah coming goeth on to meet her and bringeth her into his Mothers Tent and she became his Wife and he loved her Gen. 24.67 Thus a good choice with love and Gods blessing made a happy Marriage to both their joyes and no doubt to the joy of aged Abraham that blessed Father of the Faithful And thus you have a fourth Gold-link in this Gold Chain of Love I will give you but one Preparative Gold link of Love more A fifth Direction or Gold link of Love And this is That not only Parents consent and blessing may be had if possible as no doubt Isaac and Rebeckah had and their blessing And she blessed Rebeckah and said be thou the Mother of thousands of millions Gen. 24.60 and let thy Seed possess the Gate of those that hate thee But that by their Parents provision or thy own wisdom there be care taken that one or both have an estate for convenience and comfortable maintenance if not of great Riches yet to have what Agur prayed for Prov. 30.8 9. To be fed with food convenient least want of Necessaries occasion Complaint and that breed Differences and Love receive a Dampe and an Abatement and so marriage which should be a Merry-Age prove an Age of Sorrow Sadness and Discontent yea of Sin and wickedness sometimes for although the Husband taketh the Wife and the Wife the Husband for better or worse for Richer or Poorer yet if God of his free Grace in Christ give not a contentednesse of spirit and humblenesse of mind to submit to Divine Providences and to know and learn as St. Paul did Phil. 4.11 12 13. In every estate to be content Both Souls and Bodies may repent such Marriages and wish they had been wiser when it is too late Before God made Man and Woman our first Parents Adam and Eve and married them together He first made the World Gen. 1.27 28. and enriched them with Dominion over the Creatures Gen. 2.23 24. for their comfortable living in a married estate Gen. 1.1 2 c. He gave them plentiful Provision for them and their Posterity Gen. 9.1 2 3 4. as he did after to Noah Thus should Parents take Care for their Children or Children for themselves to preserve Love between Husband Wife during lives Thus much for pre-considerations before Marriages Now a sixth Gold-link of Love A sixth Direction or Gold-link of Love for a joyful happy life in a married estate is that the married Parties ought to labour for a daily increase of Graces 1 Pet. 3.7 2 Pet. 3.18 and to get assurance that they are both of them married to Christ Eph. 5.31 32. and have the Lord Jesus for their heavenly Husband and so be married one to another in Christ as Christ is to his Spouse the Church Hos 2.19 20. Happy is the Soul which is married to Christ Isa 9.6 He is an everlasting Father to take care and provide for his Spouse the Church Rev. 1.18 A heavenly Husband that never dieth but liveth ever to provide for his beloved Spouse for every Soul that is united in marriage to him Isa 54.5 He is a blessed Husband whose Name is the Lord of Hosts and our Redeemer Mat. 18.20 Mat. 28.20 a Saviour who hath promised to be present with his Church his Beloved to the end of the World And to deliver in greatest danger Isa 43.1 2 3 4. in fiery Afflictions it shall not burn them in watry they shall not be drowned There is no better yea none so good a Husband as Christ none to be loved so much as our heavenly Huband the Lord Jesus Therefore we ought to labour daily for a blessed increase of our love to Christ because he loved us first 1 John 4.19 And as we ought to be enflamed every day more and more in love to Christ So ought Husbands and Wives to endeavour truly to cherish increase and preserve mutual Love to and with each other as the Apostle St. Paul prayeth for his Christian Ephesians Eph. 3.17 18 19. that Christ may dwell in their Hearts by Faith that being rooted and grounded in Love they may be able to comprehend with all Saints what is the bredth and length and depth and height of that love of God which passeth Knowledge they may be filled and satisfied with the fulnesse of God So Husbands and Wives being rooted and grounded in Love may be satisfied with each others Love as that wise King Solomon adviseth Prov. 5.18 19. I speak not of a meer carnal Love which will not make their Souls happy but of a right Conjugal Love between Man and Wife well rooted and rightly cherished which will make their Lives delightful and hath Gods blessing of perseverance in true love united unto it with joy to the end Cant. 2.3 Cant. 8.6 7. like the Love of Christ to his Church A Tree new set or planted may easily be plucked up again But if it hath taken root and be well grown it will abide both wind and weather and a true fervent Love many Waters cannot quench it as Solomon speaks of that Love between Christ and his Church it will endure during the Lives of the Lovers to their Rejoycings as being sealed with Constancy and setled in the Heart This is a sixth Gold-link of Love A seventh Direction A seventh Direction or Gold-link of Love or Gold-link of Love to enjoy happy