For her humble soul thought it-self too vnworthy of such a fauour when thou didst put her in mind that she was to conuers with thee in a more spiritual maner then before neither did she reflect on the labour pain and grief she had sustained For as thou knowst loue feeleth no labour nor complaineth of any burthen For only to haue seen thee aliue again was sufficient to make her forget al former afflictions For her sake and for al their sakes that loue thee be merciful to my sins and bring me by true loue to be vnited to thee with them where for euer without ceasing I may praise thee my only beloued Amen THE XLVII CONFESSION O LORD my God I wil speak to thee again and again I wil cal vpon thee the entierly beloued of my hart I wil melt away in thy praises and I wil inuite al thy spouses to to seek thee alone aboue al thy giâ—ts and aboue al creatures For in thee alone is true peaee and comfort to be found and enjoyed O how happy should I esteem my self if I were able to praise thee without ceasing or be any cause that any should more and more languish with thy loue What should I do being born down with the weight of mortal flesh and diuers internal afflictions so that I can many times scarsly think on thee What should I do I sayâ— but liâ—t vp my hart with my hands as it were by main force sometimes by words and sometimes by writing vnto thee which I do not do as to one that is farr of from me but as to one who is more neere to me then I am to my-self and of whose Goodnes whose Wisedom whâ—se Beawty whose Mercy and most absolut and incomparable greatnes I am more assured of then I am of any thing I see with my corporal eyes O who would not loue this Goâ—nes this Maiesty and submit them-selues â—o this most amiable beloued oâ— our souls If any comfort or happines were to be found out of him we were somthing excusable in negâ—ecting and forgetting our chief good â—ut seeing we cannot euen in this mortal liâ—e find any content but by louing praising and truly seeking and seruing him we are too miserable and too blame for loosing our-selues by resting with loue and inordinat affection in transitory and visible things O far be it from thy spouses to set their affection vpon any thing bâ—â— thee or to bereaue thee of the affection which from al is to thee only due Al that we are and haue is too little for thee Let vs not therefor of that little we haue take from thee O let vs loue thee aboue al and al others in and â—or thee I do bemoan this misery aboue al miseries that those who haue dedicated themselues to thee should seek the loue and fauour of others to their own and the others impediment in thy loue and seruice Oâ—tentimes we comply and correspond vnder pretence to get temporal means the while neglecting thee who feedest the birds and clothest the beasts of the earth who neither sow not reap neither are they solicitous of any thing but depend of thy meere prouidence and yet thou prouidest for them Can we think thou wilt haue less care of vs that haue left al the world for thee then of the vnreasonnable creatues made only for our seruices Hast not thou said by the Spirit of al truth that first seek for the Kingdom of God and his iustice al things els sâ—al be added to you O let vs therefor leaue al things truly that we may confide in thee casting our care vpon thee who wilt nourisâ— our souls and bodies if we wil but faithfully and constantly adhere vnto thee our supreame and only Good Let vs leaue pretending any thing but thee For often euen vnder the pretence of getting praiers of others we poure out our-selues in the meane time neglecting to haue relation to thee who wouldst more willingly giue then we could ask if we would but truly and faithfully adhere to thee and not stray out of our selues hindering both our selues and others from adhering to thee to whom we owe al we are and can do and and therefor are greatly to blame when we do not endeauour to loue thee with al our soul with al our mind and al our strength which grant for thy own sake we may endeauour to do to thy honour and glory who be praised loued and adored for al eternity Amen THE XLVIII CONFESSION SHAL not my soul be subiect to God O my Lord far be it from me to wil or desire any thing but according to thy diuine wil which is only holy Let me neuer resist thy wil signified to me by any means whatsoeuer Let my soul be wholy turned into a flame of diuine loue that I may aspire and tend to nothing els but thy-self alone Blot out my sins that my soul may return to thee by loue from whom by sin it hath strayed O let nothing but this desir of thee my God posses my hart Let that be my solace in labours pains temptations desolations and al afflictions of body or mind Let not my hart drawn by thee to seek after nothing but loue be so base as to couet desir and rest in any thing but thee Thou art my life my choice and my only beloued When I hear theâ— but named my Lord God it forcible draweth me into my-self that I may attend vnto thee forgetting my-self and whatsoeuer els besids thee for which benefit be thou inâ—initly praisâ—d Amen THE XLIX CONFESSION OMNIS â—piritus lâ—udet Dominum Bonedicite omnia opera Domini Domino laudate super exaltate eum in saeoula Let euery spirit praise our Lordâ— Blesse our Lord al the works of oâ—â— Lord praise and exalt him for euer O my God that I were able with a pure soul and louing hart to extol thy praise But alas thy praise is not seemly in the mouth of a sinner But shal I for this hold my peace If I do yet permit me this comfort for thine own sake that I may inuite others more worthy to sing and set forth the praise of thy diuine Maiesty with whom yet as the last and least my soul shal ioin in the praise of thee our deare Creator and in that which is so worthily possessed by thy sweet Goodnesâ— I wil rejoice with al the forces of my hart and soul O my holy and deare delight what a most harmonious melody would refound ouer al the earth if thy wil and iust disposition took place in al things Behold al thy works praise thee euery one in their kind only man for whose help and comfort al other things on â—arth were created â— peruerteth the order of thy Iustice by miâ—uâ—ing that noble free wil which thou gauest him to choose and loue thee with O what couldst thou haue done more then with such a noble gift to haue endued vs Certeinly
I speak to thee according to his desire still more and more inflame my loue vnto thee Be thou all in all and aboue all vnto me If thou teach not my soul to loue in vain is the endeauour of man speaking and preaching to me Let me â—eare thee by him and let me not so harken to him without that I grow deaf to thee who art within Thy words are works Either speak by others for our good or by tâ—y self in the most interior of our soul. O happines that there should be such a capacity in vs of hauing relation to thee in all things Al things created may faile vs but thou who only canst fatiat our harts canst neuer change or alter but art stil the same and thy yeares shall not faile Thou teachest a soul true Humility and solid vertue In thee nothing is neglected thou art the Maiester of Perfection Thou teachest the simple humble and louing soul thy wayes and giuest her hidden Manna in the strength of which she may walk euen to the hous of her God where she shall praise him for euer and euer Qui ambulat simpliciter ambulat confidenter who walketh simply walketh confidently if we loue thee all will cooperat to good which graunt to thy own Praise Amen THE XXV CONFESSION OMnis populus venit ad Iesum sedens docebat eos All the people came Iesus and hee sitting taught them Can I heare and consider these words written by thy best beloued Disciple and not euen melt into tears of ioy If indeed any had been by thee my Lord reiected I might haue feared and that most iustly remembring my past and present sinnes But to put me out of feare and doubt thy holy Euangelist saith Omnis all To thee therefor I will fly and of thee I will learn how I may Please Praise and loue thee and how by true Humility I may dye to my self and all created things Hereby wholy to liue to thee my all and onely good Thou knowst that my soul without ceasing doth long after thee and to see it-self free from all that which is a hindrance to my perfectly louing thee Oâ— Loue of my Lord God how forcible art thou in a pure soul O who will giue thee to me that my hart may be purged and purified thereby to becom a pleasing habitation for my God O Lord who art Goodnes it self can there be found any ioy comfort or true content in any thing but thee Can there I say for as for me far hath it been from thee to permit any thing but thy self to be sweet to mee O all ye that think it a burthen to be obliged by your Profession to tend to great Perfection and fear the punishment of our doing the contrary raise vp your harts and remember what it is that our Lord exacteth of you by this your Profession and this as it may seeme at first a seuere exaction so remember wel and consider I say what it is and your harts will rejoyce that feare our Lord. It is O it is to loue without bounds or measure It is to leaue your self that you may find God It is to fly from the world that you may hear our Lord speaking peace to your soul It is to submit and subiect your self wholy to him whose will none can resist but as they are permitted by him It is to be subiect to euery liuing creature for him who submitted himsef to the death of the Cross that we might become capable of enioying him This is that he exacteth of vs who haue dedicated our souls wholy to him This is that he requireth which though at first it seeme a burthen to perform yet that which seemeth so is indeed quite otherwise as we shal find in effect if we perform that out of loue which out of his loue to vs he exacteth of vs. For what is sweeter then to loue Yea and to loue him whom the more we loue the more it becometh delightful to vs to loue the more strict our obligation is to him the lighter is our burthen we haue to beare For he doing all that he hath done for vs to bring vs into this state to oblige vs to loue doth also if we be not the hindrance oblige himself to giue vs this Diuine loue of his which is able to vnite a poor contemptible creature to his Diuine Maiesty whom we are not worthy to name O sweet and most desirable yoke well maist thou be said to be sweet thou bringing true and perfect liberty For loue maketh light all burthens and sweetneth al labours and to them that loue it is easy to suffer any aduersities for their loueds sake O let me being obliged by thee to loue let me I say through thy mercy obtain this loue of thre which maketh a soul in all things grateful and faithful to thee Let me not offend thee in my miseries and then come as many as pleases thee for I account that only a misery to wit to offend thee Let all things praise thee and let me in all praise thy Diuine Maiesty with them that loue thee Behold Fire Sea Snow Thunder Lightning Hail and â—he Spirits of storms do thy will and yet I in all contradict it who am capable of thy loue and am inuited to loue so many ways by thee my God O let this thy loue wholy posses my soul that all that is within me may blesse thy holy Name I renounce into thy hands all that is in me contrary to this thy loue Let it wholy consume me that I may be wholy turned into loue and that nothing els may be desired by me Let me be drowned and swallowed vp in that of Diuine loue in which my soul may swim for all eternity neuer more by sin to be separated from thee O when wil this day come that I may return to thee my beginning When will thy Glory appeare When shal death be swalowed vp in victory that I may without ceasing Praise thee my God whose name I write with no smal comfort though otherwise I be so drie that I can scarce think vpon thee To heare thâ—e named or to write to or of thee refresheth my soul in al her misery and to it I flye from the thoughts feares and cares which as thou knowst often oppres me for my humiliation who for my pride deserue iustly to be reiected for euer by thee But in such case I hope both liuing and dying that thou my Lord art my God my Mercy and what is wanting to me I shal aboundantly posses if I confide only in thee which grant that I may not faile to do who only art to be Adored for all eternity Amen THE XXVI CONFESSION ERant appropinquantes ad Iesum Publicani peccatores vt audirent illum There were sinners and Publicans approaching to Iesus that they might hear him This is writ in the Gospel of this day my Lord which doth much comfort my sinfull
feareth not any want of temporal meanâ— For she accounteth it too great an happines and honour that by the want of that which is necessary for the sustenance of nature she should haue the occasion the sooner to enjoy him her only desire whom while she liueth here she cannot fully enioy Becaus noue can see Godâ— and liue til which be granted her al thingâ— seeme as nothing to her For she longing and sighing only after him nothing can comfort or satisfy her soul while He giueth not him-self to her Yet in this banishment she remainâ—th content becaus Hiâ— wil is by her euen in this life preferred before her owne Although those instructions before by me mentioned do much seeme to be like the Iesuits as I gather by their books yet I hold them to be nothing so intelligible as theirs but more confufed by reason he would bring these and Fa. Bakers into one make a coÌ„pleat life for a soul out of both VVich if he to wit the Compiler of those instructions she much misliks for contemplatiue souls can do for his own vnderstanding and practise yet I shal think he wil find few that wil be able to do in it as he doth but wil confound one with another and he able with quiet and satisfaction to practise neither For those that cannot vse any discourse to be held to it it doth them little or no good And those that can do nothing but by the means of discourse wil profit as litâ—le by other ways Now for my own part I do profes I could neuer find good by discoursâ— neither did I stand in need thereof For it was an easy matter for any that could haue giuen me instructions for the way of loue which is by the exercise of the wil to persuade me that to loue God seeke after him alone was a most happy thing and that it alone was able to make me truly happy for I did desire this exceedingly of my-self and was very desirours to dispose myâ—self for such a course betwixt my soul and God as might make me moâ—t pleasing to him and make me not as I then was such a stranger to him And this I thought was by me to be brought about by a means which I was very defectiue in And that was by asking of questions of those who were most lâ—kly to tel me what I should do to compas this my desire Which I failing in and when I did ask was yet as far from knowing as I was before I thought to get it by reading and the more I read the les I did vnderstand which made me almost quite out of hart But going to Father Baker almost in a desperate case He told me my way must be by Prayerâ— for which he gaue me some instructions according as he deliuereth them in his Ideots Deuotion and referâ—ed me for the rest in that point to God VVhich he doing and giuing al other instructions for other things sutable I found presently that course of lâ—ue which I so much desired And though I went so simply to work that I desired to know nothing â—or curiosity in readâ—ng those things which help to this course is very dangerous though in themsâ—lues they seeme but simple yet God did make al things to me so plain that was necessaâ—y for me to know that I wondred to see such an alteration in my soul. Yea by may saying the diuine office of which meerly by my extraordinary memory I had gotten a little vuderstanding he did so enlighten and instruct me that no industry of mine own could haue attained such knowledg for this my only purpose of louing God and humbling my-self as I had euen thus for nothing for my pains and industry was so little that it was not so much as to be esteemed And thus God of his meere Mercy dealeth stil with my soul for which if I by not humbly grateful no punishment is sufficient for me But I hope though I be so frail and weak yet his Grace wil in al assist me which I beseech you to begg of him for me It sussiseth not for the soul that there is in God himself whom the soul seeketh after Simplicity or Vnity but there must also be al possible Simplicity in the soul herself for the making her fit to treat with God and thereupon become vnited to him The more simple or one that the soul is which is that the more she is free and rid of al thoughts of creatures which cause multiplicity the liker is she to God who is simplicity itself the more apt and worthy to become vnited to Him And therefore al the cunning and industry of a spiritual maister should euer be by al lawful means to rid the soul of al multiplicity incombrances blocks and al other things that are enemies to the forsaid Simpliciâ—y in soul. And indeed every image oâ— a created thing is an impediment to the said simplicity And therefor is to be reiected at such time as the soul is in case to apply it-self immediatly to God He that is a true spiritual Maister wil in such a case take great heed how he lay any thing on the soul least it caus the forsaid impediment Euery soul of her own nature is apt to contract multiplicity and impediments enough and if she haue withal a Master to deuise and lay more on her how can she be but held back and be indisposed for the said perfect immediat treaty wiâ—h God And one only impediment is impediment enough and hinders al. The spirit of Simplicity doth bring and caus much Peace in the soul for tending wholy towards that one thing which is oâ—ly necessary It maketh the soul as insensible as it can towards al other things digestinâ— and passing ouer with patience vnkindnesâ— iniuries whereby her life becometh proâ—perly a life of Patience Also as this simplicitâ— is grounded vpon plain and simple instruâ—ctions so is it and must iâ— withal be as we founded vpon simple and plaine dealinâ— with God and Man Simply intending Goâ— and auoiding al double dealing and al vâ—due intention A true spiritual life should be one â—onâ— continued thread lasting from the time oâ— his conueâ—sion to the end of his life Saint Paul reprehendeth those who are euer learning and neuer â—ome to the perfection of knowledg Such are they who yelding to temptations loose their supernatural light and fal into a state of lesse light which is more natural then fupernatural and â—therefore is but darknes in comparison of the other light and always is deceitful and erroneous as to the â—inding of the right way towards God Whereas the other said internal light within then proceeded from a Superior caus or guift that is more supernatural The things absolutly necessary for those who shal begin and prosper in a true spiritual course are these that follow 1. INstructions proper for a contemplatiue life 2. Secondly an aptnes to vnderstand and practise the said
what it is 〈◊〉 exacts of them and enables them to 〈◊〉 not what others do or can do or hâ—â— done For as we al differ in face so â— we differ in the manner of our exercâ—â—â— that are interior As for example if 〈◊〉 who is of a free nature and can â—â—â—dure little abstraction should force 〈◊〉 selfe to as much as those who are of sâ—â— â—nd retired natures and â—o recollect herâ—elf in time of work and other times â—n which by order of the howse she is to â—eep silence which exterior silence she is â—o obserue shee would but hurt her â—ealth and it may be her lead and not â—â—el be able to recollect her-self then nor â—t the time proper for Recollection and â—o loose al for want of discretion Whereâ—s if she should do what she is able and â—o more and abstract her-self by little â—nd little as God shal increase his grace she â—il in time be enabled to that which wil â—e sufficient for her and God wil require â—o more but what he hath giuen which â—ow little soeuer it be we ought to acâ—ount it more then we deserue and emâ—loying that wel he wil incâ—ease it who 〈◊〉 more willing and desirous to giue then we can be to receiue If we line so retiâ—edly as he wil enable vs we shal easily â—erceiue what he doth require and exact of vs in euery thing for we being Reliâ—ious are by Obedienee and necessity for â—he most part disposed of and for the rest we haue God always present to consult with and when we cannot by that means â—e resolued he wil shew vs how and where â—e shal otherwise be resolued But those â—hâ—t go the way of true Humility and â—ortification wil haue few questions after they are wel grounded and instructed 〈◊〉 a spiritual life For for the most part 〈◊〉 questions do but tend to the winding oâ—â— selues out of some Cross or Mortificatioâ— or easing our mind of some diâ—ficultâ— which wil if we yeeld thereto but put oâ— our eyes consequently put vs out of 〈◊〉 right way Yea though those we conâ—â— with be neuer so spititual or vnderstaâ—â— our case neuer so wel and of these I haâ—â— been most affraid of al for from othâ—â— we can easily restraign our-selues but froâ— them vpon pretence that we may ease 〈◊〉 minds and at least do our selues no hanâ— if it do vs no good we often cause 〈◊〉 prejudice and obseurity to our souls 〈◊〉 yet when al comes to al we must 〈◊〉 that we do if we wil be the faithful â—â—â—â—uants of God and profit in a spiritual 〈◊〉 If euer God do stand to his promise 〈◊〉 euer he did and wil to al his promisâ— or granting when he is asked and of opâ—â—â—ing to those â—hat knock where or whâ—â— wil he fulfil such promis more truely 〈◊〉 certainly then in the case where a simpâ—â— and sinceare meaning soul out of necessâ—â—â— and with al resignation and humility bâ— at his hands the solution of that that coâ—â—cerns her for his seruice and honour 〈◊〉 the saluation and perfection of her-self his loue The more a soul holds her-self to this light and walks by it the more her light encreaseth and the more she leaues this light and walks by anotherâ— seeming light the more her darknes encreaseth The cleerer this light is in her soul the better able she is to iudge what is the iust and most righteous wil of Alm God in those things which Faith and Obedience hath not determined for what one is bound to beleeue and do for saluation the Catholick Church doth determine but what we are to do for perfection there be many different opinions yet al agree in this that it must be the way of Abnegation but for the rightly applying of Spiritual and contemplatiue instructions to ones own particular He is the only able teacher who is the most true â—oue and light the holy Ghost of whom the Authour of the scale of perfection writeth â—o his scholer being a woman thus For grace which Fa. Baker tearmeâ—h a cal shal euen â—each thee by it-self if thou wilâ— but obserue â—t and follow it til thou come to the end al â—hat is necessary for thee from time to time â—or God alone can only teach this way And of those who giue themselues seâ—iously to walk in the way of Perfection â—aint Iohn speaketh thus But you haue the â—nction from the holy one and know al things â—nd the vnction which you haue receiued from him let it abide in you and you haue no need that any man teach you but as this vnctioâ— teacheth you of al things and it is true anâ— it is no lye And as it hath taught you abidâ— in him There are two reasons or necessitieâ— why God himself should take on him anâ— performe the office of a Contemplatiuâ— Maister 1. The first is because he can and noâ— but he can for though the soul may hauâ— an instruction from another yet is shâ— to make vse of it but according to her iâ—â—ternal Maisters dirâ—ction and as if he anâ— none other had giuen it her 2. The second reason of Conueniencâ— or necessity of Gods being the Teachâ—â— is that though man also could resolue doubts and giue al directions both inteâ—â—nal and external yet were it not only iâ—â—conuenient but euen impeditiue to her 〈◊〉 her way to Contemplation by reason 〈◊〉 the solicituds and distractions the soâ— would incur by such occasions as causiâ—â— a life meerly of distractions For in somâ— souls there do occur to be resolued frâ—â—quent and daily or howrly passage 〈◊〉 the forepart of a spiritual course espeâ—cially in the interior which of theâ—â—selues are questionable but such goiâ—â— forth for resolution â—ould mar al in a coâ—â—templatiue spirit as causing a life meerly of distraction and multiplicity and those the most profound and pernicious distractions as being vpon meere internal matters for solicitudes about the interior are the most preiudicial that are as to tendance to coÌ„templation becaus they most obscure the soul and yet this is the miserable life of scrupulous persons VVhereas the soul hauing always her Maister at hand and that neerer to her then she is to herself and He an infallible one and a most quick dispatcher al the mischiefs of the precedent case are auoided and she satisfied in her questions with al sufficience and security Neither wil it be sufficient for the soul in this excursions that it is iudged a reasonable occasion to aske a question by him â—he consulteth for if it were a thing wherâ—n God himself would haue resolued her if â—he would haue had patience or els that it were a thing that for her mortification he would haue had her ignorant in she wil perhaps incur much obscurity for such goâ—ng forth without her internal Maistersâ—eaue â—eaue and liking and withal such a check â—n her conscience that she could with more â—ase haue endured the displeasure of al the world
then haue thus displeased her beâ—â—ued whom alone she desireth intendeth thirsteth aâ—ter and to whom to adhere in here she putteth al her coÌ„tent happines Al he doth and permitteth seemeth mosâ— iust and reasonable to her and to liue interiorsly and exteriorly according to the right Rule of his iustice is al she desireth These are they which our Sauiour said should Adore â—im in Spirit and Truth and of whom it is said Al the glory of the soâ— is within for the Kingdom of God is withâ—â— vs such a soul may truly say I wil hearâ— what my Lord God saith within me Thâ—â— my most sweet Lord God be euer adored and praised and sought after by vs al anâ— blissed and praised by al in Heauen anâ— earth for euer and euer Amen Thaulerus saith that it is as easy for oâ— that hath an aptnes for an internal life anâ— wil be diligent and obseruant in it 〈◊〉 note obserue and discerne the diuine 〈◊〉 within him as it is for one to discerne 〈◊〉 â—ight hand from his left And it is plain 〈◊〉 our rule that our holy Fathers desire that souls should obserue their internal 〈◊〉 and the tracts of the diuine spiâ—it who is thâ— proper Maistâ—r of the interior And it but a meere natural course that we can 〈◊〉 by the meere instruction of man frâ—â— whom only we haue our first help aâ— instruction and then the souls capable 〈◊〉 liuing a true internal life are to be referred to God the only Teacher of the way of spirit And where it is obiected by those who pretend to be spiritual that following the diuine Tracts Moâ—â—ons and Cals is perilous dangerous and without al warrant or security It may be answered supposing alwayes an aptnes in the party that hath the instructions that as the power of God surpasseth the power of man so the warrant security of God which a true internal liuer findeth from God is far beyond the warrant of a mortal man the warrant of one man being contradicted by another that from God is able to stand in al the contrarieties changes and opposiâ—ions which happen out of the differing of al men in indifferent things for as for other things God referreth the soul to the ordinary means he vseth in those cases As for example for confession of mortal sins she most confesse them to a Pâ—iest who hath iurisdiction ouer her and for a true doubt she must not presume that he must resolue her by him-self but she must aske according to discretion and obedience and for her rule and other obligations of Religion she must obserue â—hem out of Obedience to God and suâ—eâ—iors which being done and also going and walking the way of the cros what warrant I pray you wil she need after her conscience is once wel setled from confessor or Superior Wo be to those at leaâ—t wo in this respect that haue a confidence rather in men then in God And those that praise so much the security of a soul that hath no other confidence in God at her death but so far as she is warranted by heâ— Confessor for she cannot but by this means dy perplexed and troubled For toâ—day I haue a Confessor which wil warrant meâ— and to morrow another who wil doubt of my case To day I haue one so precise that he wil warrant me in nothing and to moâ—â—ow I haue one who thinketh he can pearse so far into al things that if I wil adhere vnto him and no body els he wilâ— answer for al. He goes away and another who must assist me at my death comâ—th who is of a good meaning but cannoâ— pearse so far as the other He at first finding vs to feare feareth too We haue forgot our couradg vpon the others warrant going before and fal into feare with him at the present And yet ouâ— soul doth not alter before God aâ—cording to euery ones apprehension we meet with if it dâ—d or if this were al the certainty that were to be found between God and our souls in Religion we might bid al true confidence à lieu I meane those only who are apt for an internal lifeâ— for as for others I do not take vpon me to know their case and place our peace vpon that which is as changeable as the moon to wit the humours and opinions of men in indifferent things I haue had my-self a Confessor who though he had the largest conscience that euer I knew good man haue in my life in what he pleased yet out of the difficulty he had with me in his nature and out of his aptnes thereby to take al I did and said in another sense then I meant it he could and did turn twenty things which my other Confessors made no great matter of into horrible mortal siâ—s and would haue frighted me â—rom the Sacraments til I had setled my conscience according to his wil and mind VVhat was I to do in this case I hâ—d been warranted by three former Confessors two of which were my cheif Superiors Doctors of Diuinity and now this present wholy doubted my case he had as he pretended agreaâ—er reach into my case then al the rest and they were simple to him in discouering truely the state of my soul. But should I in this case put my soul into hâ—s hands who desired to know al that haâ— passed â—n my life to informe him in some things he desiâ—ed to know â—out of pollicy thereby also to tye me to him self more absolutly Verily if I had thus put my-self on him I had done great wrong to God and I might haue bid farewel to al true peace hereafter but standing to my former warrant and giuing him the respect was due to him and being reserued towards him I haue hitherto God be praised kept my-self out of his fingers And also by the grace of God hope to hold on my way in tendance towards God thereby raising my-self according as his diuine Maiesty shal vouchsaf to enable me out of my natural feare to the lout of God Who is only able to satisfy and satiate our soul. And not as this my Confessor would haue had me to plunge my-self by reason of his words and threats of my miserable state which notwithstanding his apprehensions is so much and no more as it is in the sight of God who changeth not his opinion of vs as the humour of the Confessor may be but imagineth vs according to what we really are in very truth But these spiritual men of this kind would be so absolute that there is no power left in the soul thus vnder such to haue relation or confidence in God whereby those for the most part vnder them if they be poor simple women of how good spirits soeuer liue miserable deiected liues for it is their only way to bring their politicke and absolute gouernment about And ordinarily vnder this pretence they do it saying that there is no way
to make this or that soul humble but to bring them into such feare that they neither dare speak think or do any thing without their approbation At least so far they must haue relation to them as it may serue this turn to informe them of what is for their purpose and then that soul is happy in their eyes and they wil declare that they are so to others that they may follow their example Then the perplexity the soul suffereth they tearme a profitable pil to cure their disease with al. And the confusion they suffer to see themsâ—lues disloyal to God and man to serue their Confessors turn he tearmeth a suffering for Iustice and warranteth them what harme disquiet or confusion soeuer cometh by this their doings to others or themselues out of Obedience to him he wil answere for it and therin they haue done God and their Congregation great and faithful seruice O misery that al this should be fathered vpon holy Obedience the most noble of al vertues who sees not that this is a turnâ—ng of religious Obedience in those that simply desire to performe it to a policy abominable to be thought or named O my Gâ—d was this thy meaning when we vowed our selues to thee Or rather didst not Thou say be as wise as Serpents and simple as Doues Thou didst not say be so foolish vnder pretence of blinde Obedience that thou shalt not know thy right hand from the left Thou bidst vs giue to Caesar what is Caesars and to Thee what is Thine By truly obeying thy wil Law and Euangelical counsels we grow wiser But by pretending to practise Obedience Charity Humility Patience c. in perfection before we be ripe for itâ— through perseuerant prayer and concurrence of thy grace which doâ—h not such things suddenly we loose al and liue in blindnes and the highest we come to is sâ—ruile feare and meere folly O happy are they to whom God giueth an aptnes for an internal Contemplatiue life and withal some one who may instruct them in it Verily the mosâ— part of souls in this howseâ— who haue been fit for it haue been sâ—tisfied with so few instructions that in a manner they might be expressed in fiue liues As for example thaâ— they Transcend Feare and Tend to God bâ— the exercise of the wil by which in timâ— as pleaseth God al impediments shal bâ— remoued between God and their soulâ— VVhich Blosius warranteth a perseueriâ— soul in his â—nstitutions very confidently But alas those that are not in this simpâ— way haue such an apprehension of a spirâ—â—tual internal life and make it seeme so perillous and dangerous that souls would be frighted exceedingly to read their books and hear their Sermons which cannot be auoided possibly if they were not armed with armour of proof by God and those who liue in and walke this happy way of simplicity Which whosoeuer truly walketh wil not coÌ„demn much lesse contemne those who speake against it but humble themselues in al things knowing that others who liue extrouerted liues may be more pleasing to God then they that for many reasons which they may easily conceiue And yet it doth not hinder these at least it ought not from prosecuting their ways to which they are called and in which by God Almighties infinit mercy they haue so many books of Fa. Bakers own writing and transcribing to encourage and comfort them in al the opposition which Gâ—d doth permit only for our exercise and not by it that we should be put out of our way through our defect in patience which the very exercisers of vs would for the most pâ—rt be very sorry for if it should so happen how soeuer the publick instrument and other speechs do sound to vs. For who can doubt that is a wise man that a soul that hath a good and found natural iudgment solid Contemplatiue instructions many in the house that practise the same doctrine aright and a quiet nature seconded with concurrence of God Almighties Grace and goeth in al the way of Abnegation and Resignation should passe many years without cause of questions about her interior For who doubteth but the soul may loue God more and more euery day and extend her wil as infinitly towards God as she can and beare al occurring difficulties with as much patience as she can and performe her ordinary obediences by the orders of the house and particular ordinances of Superiors with as much relation to God and out of Obedience to him as she can and al this without any great questions Yea the forsaid course of spirit in a manner taketh away al occasion of questions at least of intricate questions which draweth the soul our of her interior more then into it And by the way I say this that those souls who are apt to aske questions though they be neuer so quiet deuout innocent natures or haue neuer so much wit and iudgement they wil neuer prospâ—r in a contemplatiue course and in those instructions And therefor wil do wel and much better to take the ordinary instructions of these days and it were wel if such souls neuer heard nor read â—ontemplatiue books and instructions becaus they mis-vnderstanding them wil make both them-selues and others also with them to lay the defect which was only in them vpon the vnfitnes of the instructions for woman for it wil seeme to them that they cannot possibly be practised by women without perils and dangers vnspeakable which wrong done to souls put out of their way by this means who would haue happily prospered therin redoundteh to the dishonor of Almighty God But yet as it seemes to them that they caÌ„not be practised without great danger So those on the contrary who are fit and capable for these ways see and experience how little peril there is in them for can a soul be too humble and loue God too wel No certainly And this is al the course of this internal life and to this only it tends to loue God and to humble our selues Let vs therefor make that benefit God willeth we should by these oppositions and contradictions we find and feel from ouâ— Order to wit To humble our-selues in al and behaue our selues with al respect and Obedience to them as if they had done nothing Let vs encouradge one another to this and let vs not think God cannot be wel serued by any other course then this For certainly the Iesuits who haue the perfection in their institute of the Actiue life are in a very proper course for their kind of life for that spiritual exercise which they yearly take doth them much good and maketh them deale with the more pure intention in their actionâ— and affairs being also strenthned with a daily recollection wâ—â— maketh them foresee many inconueniences and thereby preuent them better then they who do giue them-selues to no such thing for who can think but it helpeth a man much to proceed with the more prudence
when by a certain reâ—irednes he hath so much foresight of his businesses and occasions They haue also a setled forme or fashion in al their proceedings and exercises which those whom they take into their order must conforme themselues to how apt or vnapt soeuer they be for it in their nature And they hauing indeed the choice in a maner of al the prime wits of their schooles are easilâ— able to find those who are able to vphold and maintain that politick maner among them The main point of vpholdinâ— and maintaining of it being the exact Obedience which they require of al and which al with one vniforme consent standing vpon and performing they thus as they do vphold the same forme and grow in al too hard for al other orders they being al in a manner diuided amongst themseluesâ— and these of al nations standing against al the world for themselues Besides the subordination is also much strengthned with the feare they haue who desire to make any resistance how litle soeuer of being put out of their order to their perpetual inâ—amy and shame and want with al of that which is necessary which they are incident to who leaue this order This I say helpeth them to the powre of disposing without any resistance of any vnder them according as it may be most for the temporalities and honour to the order VVithal they hâ—ue a great regard to the imploying of men according to their abilities hauing almost al the best imploiments at their disposing and that is a great matter to the maintaining of their order in greatnes for if they wanted aboundance of action their order would quickly fal into great desolation And this is the reason as I conceiue which maketh the Nunns of Contemplâ—tiue orders prosper so il vnder their handsâ— Becaus they put them into Exercises of discourse and yet withal do not go about to bring their houses into that subordination which they haue amoÌ„gst themselues And besids they can not find these poore women sufficient action to imploy themselues in and therefor out of the Aboundance of wit which they get by that superficial recollection they deuise and make for themselues vnnecessary and vnprofitable action And this was in the light of Truth certainly forseene by their founder Saint Ignatius when he absolutly forbad them the care and gouernment of Religious women and with this his foresight I wish he had so prouided that they indeed had neuer medled or vndertaken in this kind for better it is â—or women to be kept in their ignorance whereby they would be the more easily ruled then to be puffed vp wâ—th knowledge so little for the good and so far short of what is necessary for the perfection of their souls Yet Hospital Nunns make a good shift with their instructions which sheweth plainly that those who follow their kind of sensible exercises without going further or looking after a more spiritual prayer of the wil must be held in much Action or els they wil be apt to make a great stir But in inclosed Monasteries action sufficient in this kind is impossible to be had or found And thereâ—or I wish with al my hart that either this course were not amongst such so much as known or els that they rested not in â—hese first exercises but proceeded to the most noble yea as Seraphinus Fâ—rmanus saith to the Omnipotent exercise of the wil. Which if it were now practised in our and other contemplarâ—ue Ordeâ—s as it should quiâ—kly would they surpas in knowledg and al moral and diuine Vertues those whose furthest pretence in these sensible exercises is but to do their actions with the more deliberation and consequently with the more humain discretion which it gaiueth indeed but it is but in a maner a meere natural proceeding only so far as it may be grounded in Faith and Charity it deserueth both more praise and reward then a meere natural action But how far those proceedings are from leading a soul to perfect Charity whieh is the end of our coming to Religion may be seene by the few â—aints which it now produceth And though they haue a great aduantage by their vniformity in exercises and their agreement among themselues yet this being generally accounted to proceed and to be vpheld by policy it worketh no great effect for the most part further then by it with al others and against al others to serue their own turn which is a quite contrary effect to that which that Order produced when it was in its prime by hauing in it some great Contemplatiues and when they did so much good and were so beneficial to the whole world And different also from that which our order and others were when in like maner thay flowrishd with Saints For then the honour of God was sought and al Orders with one vniform consent did concur to the aduancement of tbat aloneâ— They then applyed themselues to seueral exercises in the exterior euery one according to his institute some more easy some more strict some of more action and some of les Yet interiorly their end was al one that was to find God in their souls And out of that perfect Charity did grow in them by those internal exercises They did euery one not out of custome or becaus he was of such or such an order as God did require and enable them imploy part of their time in gaining and doing good vnto souls Then there was not such sollicitous entangling and as I may so say sole care of temporalities God taking care of them and casting them on them Then there waâ— indeed perfect amity without interest or fond affection to their impediment of louing and seeking God alone who is that one thing which is only necessary Then there was no exceptions of persons but they were contented so Gods honour were aduanced by any as wel as by their own order or themselues O Lord my God if this spirit might be reuiued again how much would my soul reioyce If Sâ— Benets S. Augustin S. Francis S. Ignatius Children were al as perfectly as this life would permit vnited together and did with one hart and consent seek and labour to aduance thy honour and praise as our Founders do wish in heauen then would the spirit of the primitiue Church florish and thy torne and mangled members of thy Church be healed and perfectly set together again Then sinners and hereticks would easily be conuerted by them to thee Then there would be another learning then now there doth florish in our order and others for thou by them wouldst speake who makest the tongues of infants eloquent Then they by prayer conuersing in a familiar and tender maner with thee would speak so that none would be able to resist thee in them Then their iudgment would be so cleared that they would vnderstand most hidden mysteries Then an howre of prayer would instruct them more fully then an hundred years study caÌ„
it is his wil that in al those things as wel as in meere internal the soul should simply regard him and that as absolutly as if he by him-self had bidden or commanded her Neither doth such a soul regard who or what or in what maner God requireth it at her hands but it suffiseth her that it is he that exacteth it of her whom she in simplicity of spirit endeauoureth to regard in al things with out any mean of creatures Which maketh the soul indifferent whether she were commanded by an Angel or a worme if it were Gods wil rather to command her and signify his wil to her by the worm not that she esteemed not of the Angel in a far higher degree but becaus she would not make any thing her obiect or do any thing out of any other respect then to conforme her-self to the diuine Iustice in al things and regard him alone in al she did or omitted And câ—rtainly let a soul be persuaded or persuade her-self what she wil as a means to arriue to perfection she shal neuer find true peace if she be of a contemplatiue spirit and be not defectiue in her natural iudgment but by following the diuine cal and regarding that in al she doth or omitteth and though she do al that Superiors command yet to do it with as little regard of them and as much of God as if he had immediatly commanded her by him-self And so much as God shal by his grace concurring with her care and diligence enable her to work in this obseruation of the diuine cal so much the more light she shal haue for the obseruing of it so much the more profit and peace wil she find in her own soul and so much the more shal she walk according to the Iustice of God of which how much the more our works do pertake so much are they worth and no more for as Tauâ—erus saith God rewardeth no works but his own VVhere it is said in our Constitutions that after our profession we haue not so much as powre ouer our own bodies or souls I vnderstand it that by the very nature of our profession we are so bound to tend to Perfection that we should do nothing but in regard to God whose wil we haue â—here professed to choos for our own and whose Iustice we wil with al diligence perform let him signiâ—y it by what whom and in what mâ—ner hâ— please without any regard of our own profit or commodity for time or eternity and certainly in this sense Obedience cannot be too much commended But let our actions be neuer so much commended and applauded by our Superiors and al others if it go not right between God and our souls it wil be but little to our comâ—ort or profit And if we reflect vpon the circumstances of the Superiors command whâ—reby wee may obscure that regarding God in our souls we shal neuer become perfect in Obedience For as S. Paul saith Powre was not giuen for distruction but for edification and applying it performing it and exacting it in an other maner then as it was meant and ordained by God in and by our Religious Profession is the reason that so few become pâ—rfectly Obedient for by making our Obedience to regard Superiors in the first place for example to trouble and perplexe our-â—elues in thinâ—ing it must be done with this circumstance and this maner and at this time and diuers other circumstances little to the purpose or els I shal not performe my Obedience in perfectâ—on This is to tire out my-self and make my-self weary of Obedence and not to serue God with alacriâ—y and â—hereâ—ul willingnes This is to find his yoke intollerable and not sweet and easy which certainly if it be not to vs it is our own fault and not his For he hath set such order and measure in al things that the more they are done according to his wil the more easily are they done for he is far from being the Author of disquiet and confusion His spirit iâ— Iustice and Peace and Ioy in the holy Ghost And it is we that by our prepostâ—rousnes do peruert his Iustice and cause that effect in our souls by that which we pretend he exacts And so as sir Thomas More saith the vrchin wench goes whining vp and down as if nothing she did or could do for some circumstance or other which was wanting in it did please Hâ—m VVâ—â— yet indeed is so easily pleased by those of good wils and who intend or desire nothing but to please and content him and seeke him simply and purely not any guift or grace but according to his will that if there were no world but this and that my soul were to dy with my body yet I would choos to serue and please him alone and none but him rather then by doing the contrary haue al others my friends and haue al the honors pleasures and in fine the whole world at my command and this though I were also to suffer and subiect my-sâ—lf for his sake to euery liuing creature whilest â—â— liued For in this kind of life lyeth â—â—d the greatest Heauen that can be enioyed vpoÌ„ earth And though he try the souls with diuers temptations yet he doth it with much regard of their frailty doth so accommodate his grace to that he layeth vpon them that they find he reserues that for to morrow which the soul was not able to haue borne with profit to dâ—y And the soul so plainly sees that she of her-self is able to do nothing so that if she had ouercome one difficulty or temptation a thousand times she dareth no more confide in her being able to ouercome it again then if she had neuer done it yet in al her life And yet she is so confident in God that if it were pronounced vnto her by God him-self who can noâ— deceiue or be deceiued that there were infinit disgraces pains temptations pouerties and confusions hung ouer her head Al the care she would take would be to beseech God continually that as he prouided those troubles for her so he may enable her to beare them without offending him therin and in that maner for his glory that he intended by sending them for of herself she willingly acknowledgeth that no feather is more easily carried a way with a violent wind then her soul would be carryed to hel by the least temptation the diuel could suggest vnto her if he did not in al things by his grace protect her And the longer and the more faithfully a soul hath serued our Lord the cleerer doth it appeare to her that whatsoeuer is wel done by her it is so wholy to be attributed to God that she deserues most iust punishment if she take any part of it to her-self or presume by what she hath done by his powre to be able to endure the least crosse that can befal her of her own self But
heertofore No certainly for their is no way but by Obedienâ—e to come to God and no vertue without Obedience is pleasing to God But it is an Obedience that regardeth God and that doth what he would And not a foolish pretended Obedience which is in the letter and not in the spirit None can truely see how to obey but out of an internal light giuen and imparted to the soul by God who is the true teacher of Obedience and al other solid vertues And in these dayes where true Obediâ—nce is so little knowne and where Obedience is counted to be practised in perfection when the subiect is punctual out of a simpathy of nature with his Superior and can by reason of a quiet nature magnify him and think that they must haue no other relation to God in his world then by their Superior whom to please and whose good wil and good word to enioy is the perfection of what they came for without further acqâ—aintance with God in their soul. This I say being now tearmed Obedience it is no wounder the world is so scarse of Saints God I beseech him teach vs that Obedience which is souâ—d for the other vanisheth away as smoak as to any solid effect in the foul It is an easy matter to talk and exhort souls to conforme themselues in their interior to others where there is no obligation or any profit to come of it though it be against the streame of a true spirit and â—al and though he that thus aduiseth vs is heer to day and gone to morrow yet the perplexity that comes by such proceedings if it be contrary to what God requires of vs may sticke by vs while we liue to our great harme and grief But were they that thus vrge vs out of a certain custom euer put to it themselues No suâ—ely for if they had they would haue more feeling of others being put out of their way I speak not of a direct putting of a soul out for that is to palpable of being il but of aâ— indirect which pretendeth many things in excuse and in particular more perfection c. But the poor soul if she be by these pretences put out of her way wil find her-self both void of comfort quiet and perfection For God neuer prospers indiscreet and inconsiderate proceedings though we in them and for them be applauded by al the world Al that draws to multiplicity and estranging from God in our interior let vs blis our selues from as the poison of our soul and any thing or creature that would interpose it-self between God and our soul is an impediment to â—ontemplation Wo be to those souls if they haue a capacity for an internâ—l life that are studying how to write and speake to creatures to the powring out of their affections For by this means their affection wil be taken vp by the way and the creatures wil be more regarded then the Creator though the subiect of their writings be of and for God Much vanity I haue known in this kind the Ghostly Father admiring the wit deuotion and humility of his penitent And the penitent bâ— hauing her proceedings in that kind admired published applauded by her Ghostly Father was in great danger to vanish away in her own cogitations These sensible proceedings often draw the soul do what shâ— can more to men then God There are two things now a days by which we take vpon vs to measure other mens perfection The one is by the quietnes of their nature And the other is if we be Superiors we iudg by the simpathy that is between them and vs tearming them most humble obedient c. that are most stutable to our spirit and sense those specially do so whose exercise is in sense and who put much perfection in sensible deuotion But certainly true Humility is so subtile a thing that none can iudg who is most perfect therein but God and those to whom he reuealeth it And this is the reason why it is said Thaâ— the iudgments of God are far different from those of men Powre was giuen by God for edificationâ— and not for distruction The which edification principally consisteth in the Superior-accommodating him-self to the interior diuine cal of his subiect and with that intention are al Religious professions made and to be intended by the Professors and Accepters of the Profession and especially acâ—ording to the intention of our holy Mother the Church by whose warrant those Proâ—essions receiue their validity And therefor a Superior that neglects to proceed with â—is subiects according to such their diuine â—â—l accommodated to the rule strayeth from the scope and intention of Religious Proâ—ession And for the auoiding of these mischiefs as also for the difficulty that the Superiors find haue in the true discouery of â—â—ternal cals that are of meer spiritual things I may say was the caus wherefor the Holy Ghost who is the proper maister of true spirituality hath inspired the pens of the torrent of his Doctors of the holy Church to declare and teach that souls as wel in Religion as out of it Are free for their meere interior whereby they may be able to follow such teaching from the Holy Ghost him-self as man cannot afford them though man may hurt or destroy such teachings easily where God permitteth it and themselues yeld to it to their own great los and harme And the interior is of that great and infinit worth and moment that so that that may be wel it is no matter what commeth of al other things Yea then al other things wil be wel if that be in good case by harkening to and following the diuine interior cal which is al in al to a capable soul. O wo wo yea a thousand times wo to a soul that is frighted by any threats ouercome by 〈◊〉 temptatâ—onsâ— or cast down by yelding 〈◊〉 feares into that perplexity which makeâ— her vnfit to heare and follow what Gâ—â— speaketh to her soul and dis-inableth hâ—â— from following prayer which Seraphinaâ— Firmanus tearmeth for the Nobility aâ—â— worth of it Omnipotent O you souls whâ— are capable of prayer be greatful to oâ—â— Lord for it is the greatest happines that caâ— be possessed in this life For by it it is eaâ—â— passing through al things how hard anâ— painful soeuer By it we come to be famiâ—liar with God him-self and to conuers 〈◊〉 Heauen By it al impediments wil be reâ—moued between God and our souls By 〈◊〉 we shal receiue light for al that God woulâ— do by vsâ— By it we shal come to regarâ— God in al and wholy neglect our-selueâ— By it we shal know how to conuerse oâ— earth without preiudice to our souls Anâ— in fine by it we shal prays God and beâ—come so vnited to him that nothing shal bâ— able to separate vs for time or eternity froâ— his sweet Goodnes O let him be al in al to vâ— who can only satisfy our souls He is
intend Yet what is ill reforme in thee And this will all amend As farre as he doth thinke it good Who is most iust and wise He will thee by afflictions purge From what displease his eyes Willt thou of all that loue thy God From suffring be exempt O no but blisse as others do thy God and liue content Amidst the various accidents That do to thee befall Committ thy selfe and all to God Who seekes our good in all Thy selfe art blind and cannot iudge What is the best for thee But he doth pearce into all things How hâ—dd so ere thâ—y be My hart shall only this desire That thou my Lord dispose Euen as thou pleasest in all things Till these myne eys thou close By death which I so much desire Because it will procure Me to enioy my God my all Where I shall be secure That none from me can take my Lord But for eternity I shall enioy my only good And to him euer be Vnited by a knott of Loue Which nothing shall vnity But will remayne as permanent As his Diuinity O happy houre when willt thou come And set my Spirit free That I may loue and prayse my God For perpetuity Contemplating his glorious face With all that him adore Singing with them his sweetest prayse For eâ—er and euer more In this is such and so great comfort and peace that well may the soule be tearmed to receaue a hundred folde in this life who despiseth it-selfe and all other things that it may finde thee O how free is such a soule to fly with the wings of Loue to the throne of thy Diuine Maiesty Neuer was there or can be imagined such a Loue as is betweene an humble soule and thee Who can expresse what passeth between such a soule and thee Verily neither man nor Angell is able to do it sufficiently and the more such a soule knowes of thee the more sound becometh her humility the which thy selfe only can teach one perfectly and it is impossible to gett it in verity and perfection but by conuersing with thee O my God bestow this heauenly gift on me which only findeth fauour before thee Those that possesse it are able in and by thee to beare all things to vnderstand all things as farre as it is necessary for them For one learneth more in Prayer of thee in one hower then all creatures in the world could teach one in fifty yeares for that which thou teachest is sound solid and secure because it tends to nothing but to loue thee neglect it selfe Thy words bring force strength in themselues thy words are words of peace to the soule thy words are not like the words of men which passe as a sound through the ayr buâ— thyne pearse the very bottome of our soules Lett me hearken therefore to thee who speaketh loue and most certaine truth The wisedome of the world is foolishnes before thee But thy wisedome is much to be desired and for it willingly ought we to giue all our substance to it we ought to be espowsed and by it if we will be happy all our actions ought to be gouerned Allthough thou didst say that vnlesse we become as litle children we could not enter into the kingdome of heauen yet withall thou hast said that we ought to be wise as serpents and simple as doues where thou puttest that we should be wise before we be simple and not simplicity before wisedome whereof I aske thee the reason O my Lord with all the humility I am possibly able For it seems to meâ— that thereinâ— as in all thy words there is a hidden Mystery tell me I say my God of whom in all cases and doubts I aske solution and many times by it thou dost make many things manifest to my simplicity tell me â— say what was the reason Verily it seemeth to me that thou biddest vs be wise before we become simple becaus that is only true Simplicity which followeth true Wisedome For we cannot become truly simplified in our soule but by thy heauenly gift of true wisedome For there is a simplicity which is without wisedome and discretion which litle auayleth to perfection This vertue of Simplicity becometh more and more perfect in the soule as she increaseth in humility and charity yet at the very first of our conuersion this is in some sort practised by vs if we do as we ought to do As for example to become pleasing to thee it is absolutly necessary that a soule walke simply and sincerly before thy selfe and all men and read and heare obey and perâ—forme all in a simple and humble maner not searching into that which belongeth not vnto her this I say thou dost exact for nothing is more odious to thee then the contrary practise But yet this doth not diminish our naturall reason but maketh it more cleere and able to comprehend what is necessary for vs. This vertue also therefor bestow vpon me who euen in my nature as thou well knowest did euer aboue all things hate dissembling and dissimulation O Lord poore as I am and most sinnefull thus thou â—eest how I presume to speake vnto â—hâ—e but easily shall I obtayn pardon of thee becaus thou ouerflowest with â—he aboundance of thy mercy for whâ—ch Glory Prayse Adoration be to thee who art my Lord and my God and only desired by me I haue no friend to speake or treat with but thee and some of thy Saints to whom thou hast giuen charge of me and to whom I fly when my sinnes affright me amongst whom next after thy Deare Mother the Queene of mercy is my beloued S. Augustine O Glorious Saint whose hart did burne And flame with Loue Diuine Remember me most sinnefull wretch Who hunger staru'd doth pine For want of that which thou enioyest In such aboundant measure It is my God that I doe meane My ioy and all my treasure Thy words O Saint are truly sweet Becaus thou dost addresse Them vnto him who 's only meet Our mis'ries to redresse At whose intorcession much hast thou done for me Honour them my Lord for me who am so poore thatâ— haue nothing to present them or thee only a desire of being gratefull to thee who be by all eternally prayâ—sed Amen It was S. Augustine the Doctor and amorous seruant of God that she heere meant THE SECOND CONFESSION Omnis ex vobis qui non renunti at omnibus quae possident non potest meus esse discipulus Qui habet aures audiendi audiat All you who renounce not all you possesse cannot be my disciple who hath eares of hearing let him heare THESE are thy words my Lord which though they seeme hard at first yet being explicated to our soules by thee they become most easy and sweet to performe Teach me therefor my God I beseech thee for thy mercies sake teach me I say how I â—hall perform this to the glory of thyâ—oly â—oly name Thou hast inflamed my â—art as thou
for vaine is the help of man I will therefor confide in thee my God my mercy who be Adored Praised and Exalted for tyme and eternity Amen THE NINTH CONFESSION LEX Domini immaculata conuertens animas testimonium Domini fidele sapientiam praestans paruulis Iustitiae Domini rectae laerificantes corda praeceptum Domini lucidum illuminans oculos The Law of our Lord is immaculate correcting soules the Testimony of our Lord is faithfull giuing Wisedome to little Ones The Iustices of our Lord be right making harts ioyfull the precept of our Lord light some illuminating the eyes These my God are the words of thy Royall Prophet which are as it followeth in the same Psalme to be desired aboue gold and rich pretious stones yea they are more sweet to a louing soul then the honny or the honny combe Lett this Law of thine conuert my soul that it may become one of thy little ones to whom the grace of true Wisedome is oâ—ten promised by thee Lett thy Iustice make my hart ioyfull For in the perâ—ormance thereof is true Peace only to be found They that liue according to this thy Iustice do enioy such a diuìne tranquillity that it cannot be expressed by any pen whatsoeuer None can walk in this path of true Iustice in perfection but the humble Those find out in thy light what is thy best will and pleasure in all things as farr as humane flesh will admitt and perform thy iust will as well as human frailty will reach When we do perform any thing by this iust rule of thy holy will we find an admirable effect theâ—eof in our soul. This is that which by performing in all things we become truly subiect to thee and haue the merit of Obedience which maketh all our actions so noble before thee and of which vertue of Obedience how much or how little our actions partake so much and no more do they deserue reward Worthyly may Obedience be preferred before Sacrifice For it is that which gouerneth heauen and earth and which only deserueth reward in thy sight Happy are they who walk this way For they haue a â—ast euen of the ioyes of heauen For as they there obey thy will so these thy humble soules do also endeauour to do the same This Obedience to thee maketh the Angells as â—ell content with their degree of Glory as to be of the Seraphins who are yet in a farr higher degree in thy Kingdome This maketh the Saints content with theirs this maketh soules on earth who aspire to thee with all their harts to limit their desires with thy good will and pleasure and by this meanes they desire neither life nor death but in it conforme themselues to thy most iust will this maketh them desyre disgrace nor Glory neither paine nor health neither Crosses nor comforts This Obedience to thee and to Superiors for thee made some soules pleasing to thee by liuing in the wildernes and others by liuing in a Community some by liuing to the profit of their neighbour and others by liuing and attending only to thee in their soules some by liuing in high and eminent degree and hauing commaund ouer many others and some by being esteemed abiect and the very scumme of the world and these if they had of their own choice and election chosen the contrary state would neuer haue arriued to true Sanctity Some also by many paines Crosses come to thee some only by an internall affectioÌ„ to thee hauing that in affection which others suffer in act they also are respected by thee By which it appeares how great a subiection is exacted by thee of those who desire to become vnited to thee and neuer can we prosper in a Spirituall life vnlesse we hearken to thee and obserue euen in the least things what thou wouldst haue vs do and go that way thou wouldst haue vs in all things whatsoeuer For we may be sure thou willt lead vs by the way of Abnegation which is the way of the Crosse which if we will walk with humility and simplicity we shall with security arriue at the port of eternall Glory and enioy thee our only beloued in that degree thou hadst ordained for vs from all eternity liue we long or dy we soone For only in thee can we be happy and by thy meere grace can we deserue to enioy thee What we ouercome is so done in thy strength that the glory is wholy due to thee alone and this I find dayly seeing that when I presume of my own strength though it be in a thing which I haue often ouercome and many times farr greater it seemes to me yet I faile in that euen often to the offending thee my Lord in an extraordinary maner From this errour therefor my God heerafter deliuer thy poore contemptible seruant that I may praisâ— thee who art my only strength and hopeâ— Lead me which way thou willt soâ—â— may blesse thee in all and rest in thee aboue all From thee the strong receaue their strength and in thee sinners that haue nothing of our owne haue wherewith to supply all our want thou flyest vp with them who by an ardent loue haue surmounted all created things and are firmely vnited to thee in Spirit and thou also lendest thy sweet hand to thy little and imperfect ones who are of a good will to help them out of the mire and durt of passions and inordinate affections In this mercy my soul doth hope and reioice and I do in my pouerty congratulate the perfections of others beseeching thee to make me partaker of their merits And aboue all out of the aboundance of thy owne store giue me whereâ—ith to retorn to thee for all the merâ—ies thou hast shewed to my sinnefull â—oul Lett me please thee and praise â—hee and desire no more but that thou do with me whatsoeuer thou knowst most to thy honour O that soules would conuert their hart wholy to thee the most desirable beawty to whom if we compare all that is fair which thou hast made they will seeme â—o be without all beawty and light O if by humility soules would dispose themselues for the Diuine Loue what a reformation would there quickly be in the whole world When I remember how many soules seperate themselues by sinfull sinning from thee it pearceth my very soul seeing they forsak him who is an infinit good and a most amiable beawty Remember O Lord for thy own sake our extreame frailty and giue graâ—e that we may all conuert and return by Loue to thy Diuine Maiesty whose mercies are aboue all thy works for which Glory be euer to thee by all for time and eternity Amen THE X. CONFESSION ACCEDITE ad Deum illuminamini facies vestrae non confundentur Come to Him and be illuminated and your faces shall not be confounded These words in our diuine Office are spoken not only by him who by thy owne testimony was a man
according to thy owne hart but proceeded from the holy Ghost the Spirit of all truth who speaketh by the Prophets and Apostles for the comfort instruction and illumination of such as are true members of our holy Mother the Church how weak and contemptible soeuer they be In the beleif of which Church and in hope of thy mercies which I haue always experienced to be great towards me thy poore seruant I fly to thee in all my doubts and obscurities which sinne ignorance and imperfection cause to my soul in her way â—owards thee her only desired Beloued â—he by whom thou speak this had â—â—cepted any I should not haue daâ—d to haue applyed it to my selfe â—ut as it is I should do thee wrong â—o fly from thee when thou bidst me â—â—me and be illuminated Though my â—â—nnes be great yet thy mercies exâ—eed all the sinnes in the world I â—ill therefor come to thee that my â—â—ce be not confounded I will approach â—o thee the only true light that my souâ—â— may Loue thee being guided by â—his thy light In this light the glorious 〈◊〉 Augustin walked in an extraordiâ—ary maner when he cried out with â— most amorous hart Lord lett me know â—hee and lett me know my-selfe These â—wo knowledges are inseparable â—ompanions and increase the one â—y the other For who can know theeâ—nlesse â—nlesse he know himself vnlesse he â—e taught by thee Those that would â—now some thing of thee and would be fauoured by thee for any end but to loue thee and to learn to dispise themselues be in perill of a most dangerous ruine For those that walk the true way of the Crosse desire nâ— fauour but to be able without aâ— comfort to be faithfull to thee mâ— Lord God Those that haue done thâ— contrary of which alas there hauâ— not been a few are they which hauâ— brought a Spirituall life into such contempt that they shall haue in â— maner all the world about their eareâ— to censure them who enter into it one obiecting it will put one out oâ— his wits as they haue found by experience in many that ventureâ— vpon such a course Others say Those that affect singular waies of Spirit are in eminent perill of being deluded by the diuell Others pretend that those poore soules pretend such perfection that they slight and contemne the courses of others though their Superiors and betters which is an euident signe that they are for all their pretence in a great errour Others obiect that they abstract their affections from all the world and indeed would seeme to be dead to all creatures but that this they do that they may the better loue themselues and while they seek themselues in a Spirituall maner in the gifts and graces of God they say they are in more danger then those that liue in sinne and wickednes Others alleadg that the quietnes they seeme to enioy in occurring accidents of difficulty is either natural or els becaus they pretending to lead forsooth a Spirituall life are bound in honour to endure them patiently least otherwise they be prooued to their disgrace to be but in an imaginary course which a Spiritual life in these dayes is generally held to be Thus and in infinit other maners as it is known to thee I haue in some sort experienced euen from them whom I could haue expected by the place they â—ear to haue been hartned in my desyre of tending to thee to the vttermost ability of my soul but well might they do it seeing they were also in place where they were bound to reform in me what was and is amis in my life which I must confesse is very much but yet I confide in thy help But in fine the obiections against an internall life are so many that much help is necessary for a soul that shall be able to hold and go through with all obiections and difficulties in that kind For one saies for want of this circumstance all their life is in perill and another saith that the said circumstance may stand with a true Spirituall life but yet that there is another matter or circumstance which were necessary to be reformed in their course and thus in their exceptions there be so many mindes as men and yet none of them can say there is any sinne in that which they alleadg for such a mayn impediment the fault being indeed only that it is not sutable to their apprehension and experience in spiritual matters Thus therefor it stands with soules that in these days would lead a Spirituall life But those who place all their hope in thee my God shall remain stable as a rock and in thee who art their strength and refuge they liue peaceable and content hauing the testimony of their conscience to bâ— their comfort amidst all oppositions and contradictions But aboue all obiections which I haue heard that goes neerest my hart is when I read or hear that it is perillous to walk the way of Loue and that as some would seeme to proue no soul in any other course or state is in such perill as is a soul who giueth herself to thiâ— study But lett them affirm that who will For my part I will shutt my eares from harkning to such men becaus nothing is more plaine more easy more secure more pleasant then the way of Loue. For that way of Loue it cannot be called if the soul seek in it any thing but thee alone which these men would make it allmost impossible for one to do But thou knowst my God that in this thou hast wrong For it being thy own desire that soules should loue thee and thou hauing made them only for that end that they might wholy attend euen in this life to the Loue and Praise of thee alone how can this way be dangerous where the only endeauour of the soul is that thy will be in al fullfilled who can doubt of thy assistance and help therein though we be able to do nothing of our selues Verily it cannot be doubted any more then it can be feared that thou willt cease to be good to thy creatures which thou hast redeemed with thy pretious bloud Lett not soules therefor I beseech thee by any such frights be brought into fear of walking this noble and amiable way but lett vs sing in hope Dominus illuminatio mea salus mea quem timebo Si Deus pro nobis quis contra nos My Lord is my light and my Saluation whom shall I feare If God be with vs what matter is it who is against vs. Lett vs proceed humbly till we be admitted to enioy thee the God of Gods in Sion where thy praise shall be perfected in vs. These things therefor remembring and recounting before thee do strengthen my soul that it fall not from the stedfastnes which is grounded and founded vpon thee To harten and inconradg my soul by speaking and writing thus to thee was the caus why these things haue been
written by me which I read when I cannot for some indisposition in body or mind otherwise think vpon thee and when I am ouerwhelmed in any misery it becometh most tolerable by hauing thus conference with thee who neuer disdainest me for which all Glory be giuen to thee who art my Lord and my God blessed for all eternity Amen Alleluia THE XI CONFESSION O My Lord to whom I will speak and before whom my hart shall not be silent while thus it stands with me least the heauy weight of sinnes and my disordered passions do oppresse my soul and seperate it from thee the only desire and beloued of my hart It behooueth me indeed to be silent and that all created things be likwise silent to me to the end â— may hear the sweet whispering of thy voiâ—â— and attend in most quiet repose of soul to thy Diuine Maiesty speaking to my hart But this must be when my soul is drawn and sweetly attracted by thee to attend to what it shall please thee to work in me But now in these my sinnes which passions and inordinat affections caus in me My soul doth cry out in the bottom thereof and call vpon thee who art my refuge helper and deliuerer in all these my afflictions and miseries and this my prayer is not reiected by thee becaus thou art a bottome less Sea of mercy O when shall my soul see all impediments remoued that it may be vnited to thee and retorn to thee from whom it had her being to this end that it might by pure Loue become capable of enioying thee for all eternity What are all things to me without thee Verily nothing but a shadow neither can any of them no nor all of them together satisfy or comfort me By Louing Pleasing and Praising thee as thou wouldst haue me shall I become truly content and happy and by no gifts or graces or fauours besids how great soeuer they be Return retâ—rn my soul to him that only can satiat thee and without whom all things as thou seest are most bitter and vnpleasing to thee Only by Humility and Obedience can this be accomplished in thee Humble despise and subiect thy self in all without exceptions that he may take pitty on thee Indeed my Lord I desire thus to become for thee For I may truly say I was brought to nothing and I knew it not and I am as a beast before thee and yet allso I may say that I am allways with thee and thou with me by thy preuenting mercy It is a poore way â—o think to become honourable by standing vpon our points and yet this is that which now is most in practise in these dayes O how far is this from the practise of thy Saints and seruants who thought it their greatest honour to be despised neglected reuiled and contemned by all this world to the end they might become honourable in thy eyes my Lord who hath said that blessed are we when we are spoken ill of by men and persecuted by them Giue me this true humility I beseech thee which maketh soules capable of receauing this thy blessing promised to the humbleâ— and those which serue thee for Loue whose ioy thou thy self art and who follow thee by the way of the Crosse which seemeth indeed contemptible in their eyes who do not discern nor discouer the hidden treasure that lyeth in the confusion receaued and embraced with the armes of Loue by a faithfull soul who seeketh nothing but to imitate her beloued who died the ignominious death of the Crosse to purchace her loue and to make her of an enemy to become an intimate and inward friend of this our heauenly Bride-groome This pouerty and contempt I say which thy little ones do vndergo in this life my Lord God seemeth to the louers of this world to be an intolerable burthen but those that truly walk this way of Humility do find that in it lyeth the greatest comfort and sweetnes that can be found and enioyed in this world For thou bearest thy-self the burthen of the humble and what toucheth them toucheâ—h the apple of thyne eye Nothing dost thou think to deare for them seeing all thy gifts graces fauours and comforts which thy goodnes imparteth to them they vse only to thy praise and to the abasing of themselues vnder the feet of all thy creatures as most vnworthy of this thy mercy of all of them O what power hath an humble soul with thee while she becometh totally subiect to thee euen as if no power of willing or choosing were giuen her by thee which while she doth well it goes with her before thee and great is the liberty of such an one while she only desireth and seeketh thee For in doing so we do become capable in an extraordinary maner of enioying thee who though thou art not to be seene in this life as thou art yet an humble soul is not ignorant of thee For her faith is wonderfully cleered and great is the knowledg of a soul which by loue obtaineth the heauenly wisedome of thee which thou hast hidden from the wise and prudent of the world and reuealed it to thy little ones who sigh and long without ceasing to become vnited to thy Diuine Maiesty that thy Praise may be perfected in them to thy eternall Glory O how frequently and confidently do these soules fly vnto thee and how often are they euen amazed to see thy infinit sweetnes and most amiable beawty Nothing is so present to them as is this their Lord God yea my God such a knowledg of thee doth Loue caus in an humble soul that it maketh her for a tyme neither to see feele yea nor to think of any thing besides thee but this in this vale of teares is not of long continuance and hath many interruptions by â—eason of the strife between our spirit and our three enemies the world the flesh and the diuel but yet thy grace is in all occasions neere to our soul and nothing shall blemish the purity thereof if we humbly adhere vnto thee and wholy mistrust our own forces as we well may and be confident in thee who art so mercifull and pittifull to those who presume not to haue any strength but thee This humble loue is able to go through all difficulties and to bear all burthens and to sustain all paines and disgraces becaus it seeketh only thee for her wittnes who art her glory her honour and her crown most neer and deare to her yea euen more present then she is to herself and more hers then she is her own and consequently being wholy forgetfull of herself she only seeketh and intendeth thy praise and glory my Lord God the peace of her hart and the comfort of her soul. It seemeth to a soul at first that by denying forsaking neglecting and despising herself she shall vndergo a most grieuous Martyrdom but by approaching to thee my God and conuersing with thee in a
mind in which I languish are much more grieuous then those of the body For these make vs but vngratful to men but the other make vs displeasing in thine eyes But thy goodnes as it is seene in this example together with the cure of the one did also vse to grant pardon for the other For thou didst say to him Thy sins are foâ—giuen thee by wâ—ich he became cured in body and soul. This thy mercy I remember with great ioy and comfort and falling down at thy feet my Lord I beg of thee that thou wilt be merciful to me a sinner for thy own sake and say vnto my soul Thy sinnes are forgiuen tâ—ee and grant that I may now begin to liue to thee that so by thy grace al impediments may be remoued which hinder me from louing thee as thou wouldst be loued by me whicâ— is al I wish or desire To this end I fly to thee to this end I sigh after thee only wishing and desiirng that in al things thy holy wil may be perfectlyâ— accomplished in me for time and eternity If I should not howrly approach to thee who art the only true light darknes and the shadow of death would ouerwhelm me and make me vncapable of this thy light which leadeth to the true loue of thee O how happy were I if I could truly say Anima mea in manibus meis semper My soul in my hands always that so my soul might truly hear and follow what my Lord speaketh to my hart For thy words ate works O giue me a true contempt of myâ—sef that I may dy to al that the world esteemeth or desireth For I find where I seek my self there I am caught as it were in a snare and where I forâ—ake my self there I become more and more capable of that true liberty of spirit which carrieth the soul aboue it self and al created things that iâ— may more perfectly be vnited to thee For this is thy wil that by true Abnegation in al things both external and internal and by a total subiection to thee both as concerning our selues and al others in any thing that can be wished by vs we should enioy a certain diuine heauenly peace amidst the crosses passiôs contradictions andmutabilities which are incident to our life in this warfare of ours For the more sound a soul is in the practise of this doctrin of thine of denying herself in al and following thee by proposing no other end to her self in any thing but thy self alone the more she getteth as I may say her soul into her hands and the lesse she is moued in al things that happen either without her or within her For she seeth and knoweth that such haue euer been thy practise and permissions about crosses and difficulties falling vpon souls which was and is with and for this intention of thine that they of necessity must suffer and therby become disposed and in some sort worthy for to enter into thy Kingdom Neither doth the soul that attendeth to thee wonder at crosse accidents nor at the wayes or meanes by which they fal vpon her but in al of them she confideth in thee that they shal al turn to her greatest good And as for the faults which she comitteth she humbleth herself hoping stil more and more in thy merciâ—ful forgiuenes and assistance It is not strange to her to see so many and different opinions of al men concerning the vse of matters and things that of themselues are indifferent but remembring that as S. Paul saith Euery man aboundeth in his own sense she adhereth to thee who art stil the same and hath relation to thee in al she doth or omitteth By which meanes thou teachest her seeking simply thine honour in al things where when in what maner and of whom she shal ask in doubtful cases For it is al one to her O my God If thou require it to be resolued by another or by thyâ—self But indeed in the way of Abnegation questions are rare and to go forth questioning without thy sending is but a meere immortification and doth intangle the soul and bring her into inconueniences incomprehensible and for such doing when we so do we cannot passe without a bitter check for it in our intâ—rior by thy diuine Maiesty as thou knowst my good Lord my soul hath experienced For those souls that thou leadest by the way of loue of them I say thou exactest that they should make their moane only to thee thou hauing as it were giuen them a pledge that thou wilt become al in al and aboue al to them if they wil but remain faithâ—ul to thee Also they so litle desire or esteem any graces comforts or fauours which can be granted or bestowed vpon them but only so far as they are meerly necessary to maintain them in grace and fauour in thee and only as they are thought fit for them by thee whom they deâ—ire to be gratful to for al thy benefits that they neuer desire them but wish rather to adhere to thee by pure faith that they may become therby the more deare and pleasing to thee For a as my Lord God what is al thou canst giue to a louing soul who sigheth and panteth after thee alone and esteemeth al things as dung that she may gain thee What is al I say whilst thou giuest not thy-fâ—lf who art that one thing which is only necessary and which alone can satisfy our souls Was it any comfort to St Mary Magdalen when she sought theâ— to find two Angels which presented themselues insteed of tbee verily I cannot think it was any ioy vnto her For that soul that hath set her whole loue and desire on thee can neuer find any true satisfaction but only in thee Yea comforts granted by thee make the soul become affraid least thâ—t by them she should the less â—a thfully serue thee and so far as it may stand with thy wil considering my extraordinary frailty I had rather serue thee without consolation then to find or feel that which may make me esteeme any thing of my self or hinder me from resting only in thee who arâ— my God and al my desire for euer Amen THE XXXVII CONFESSION THis day my Lâ—rd it is read in the Gospel of our Office that thou didst send thy seruants into the lanes for the poor lame blind and deformed to coÌ„pel them to enâ—ter and tast of thy supper the which thy Mercy did so particularly extend it self to me that with great ioy and comfort I heare it read and with exceeding desire of gratitude I recount it heer in the sight of thy diuine Maiesty For first who could be more deformed in body and soul then I and yet thou didst not despise me and Secondly who could haue less desir to enter into holy Religion which is the place where we may most aboundantly tast and see how sweet our Lord is then my frozen and stupid soul
regard in al things and as they haue interest in none so not any hath interest in them In that which they propose to Supeâ—iors they proceed as in al things els with al sincerity deâ—esting the contrary practise euen with those that are most aduerse and contrary to them much more with Superiors and whatsoeuer they desiâ—e to do they do it with such an indifferency thâ—t what euent soeuer come of it they remain in peace embracing it as Gods wil whose wil is their law If that which they propose either for the common good and peace of the house or for their own gâ—odâ— do not seeme fit in true Iustice or reason to Superâ—ors to be granted they impoâ—tune no farther nor desire the fauour of being condescended to in their motion â—ut rather remaining themselues indifferent that they determine and pâ—oceed in it to whom it appertaâ—neth A Superior hath greâ—t reason to take heed of putting a soul from the exercise of her internal Prayer or so ouerchardging hâ—r with labourss or solicitudes that she cannot not become râ—collected â—n her daily praier it being a soul that hath aptnes in her to make spiritual progresse by prayer and the other exercises of a Contemplatiue life yea not only the soul her-self wil feel the vnspeakable dammage that wâ—l come to her therby but also the Superior himself in the Obedtence which he expecteth and is due to him from her wil see the harme and loosse that come h by such beâ— reauing of the soul of her prayer For she who would by discreet prosecuting a course of mental praier haue become subiect iâ— it were necessary euen to the creature thaâ— is of the least esteeme or worth in the world becometh now for want of that strâ—ngâ—h and help which is gotten by such prayer to be almost impossible to be ruled by â—he wâ—sest man in the world For liuing in Religion as I can speak by experienceâ— if one be not in a right course of prayer and other exercisâ—s between God and our soul ones nature groweth much worse then euer it would haue been if she had liued in the world For pride and self-loue which are rooted in our soul by sinne findeth means to strengthen it self exceedâ—ngly in one in Religion if she be not in a coursâ— that may teach her and procure her truâ— Humility For by the corrections and contradictions of the wil which cannot by any be auoided but wil be liuing in a Religious Community I found my hart grown as I may say as hard as a stone and nothing would haue been able to haue mollified it but by being put into a course of prayer by which a soul tendeth towards Goâ— and learneth of him the lesson of truly humbling herself In which course being placed and euer tending to the increase of Humility euen the defects and errors she committeth either out of frailty or ignorance â—o turn to her gaine as giuing her occasion of the greater humbling of her-self to and vnder God and Humility and the loue of God wherein al her good consisteth do each of thâ—m increase the one the other fâ—r they are inseparable companions It is the grace of God and tending to him by way of loue that only can so enable a soul that no difficulty or disgrace can happen which she is not prepared for and therefor is able willingly to embrace the same Verily I can affirme this by mine own experience that a crosse word or slight reprehension before I got into thâ—s spiritual cours was more insupportable to me and did more disquiet my mind then al the difficulâ—ies or disgraces which since haue faln vpon me haue done For now me thinks though I be neglected by al the world yet by flying to our Lord he easeth â—e of al my burthen and as I haue desired to haue no other friend or comforter but him so it pleaseth him neither in doubts feâ—â—es paines disgraces nor in any other miseries whereunto this life of ours is so subiect to reiect me Only he exacts of me that in al the contradictions of wâ—l he sends me or permits to fal on me I wil humble my-self and be confident in his help Of Which if I do so I shal be much more sure then if in mine own hands I had a most absolut power None are able to presecute the waye of the Diuine Loue but they who are resolued to to deny themselues in al things and who willingly and wittingly adhere to no created thing For if the soul do willingly retain an affection to any such thing she is at a stop and can go no farther For God must be sought and loued wholy if we desire to arriue to Perfection Shee speaking of the Sanctity of the old Orders in old time when thâ—y were in their best case or in the Prime of their good Spirits writeth and sayeth as as followeth viz. THEN only the honour of God was sincearly without intermingling of human ends or interests intended and sought and al Orders with one consent of hart did concurre to the aduancement of that alone they then applied themselues to seueral exercises in the exterior euery one according to his Institute some more easy and some more strict some of more action and some of lesse yet interiorly their principal end was al one and that was to find and enjoy God in their souls and out of that perfect Charity which espâ—â—cially by those their internal exâ—rcises did groâ— in them they did eueâ—y one as God did require and enable them imploy part of their time in gaining or doing good to other souls Thâ—n there was no great care or solicitude about temporallâ—ties God taking care and being as it were solicitous to them Thâ—n there was indeed al sincere and real proceedings between them Then there was perfect amity without proper interest or fond affection to the impediment of theâ—r louing and seeking after God alone who is that One thing which only is necessary Then there was no acceptation of persons but they were contented so Gods honour were aduanced not caring though it were done by any other Order as wel as by themselues O Lord my God if this Spirit might be reuiued againe how much would my soul rejoice If Saint Benets his S. Francis h. s S. Igâ—atius his c. children were perfectly as this life wil permit vnited together and with one hart and consent seek and labour to aduance thy honour and praise as our founders do in Heauen which if we did then would the Sâ—irit of the primitiue Church flourish and thy torn and mangled members be healed and perfectly set againe together Then heretiks and sinners would easily be conuerted by them to thee Then there would be another learning then now there doth flourish in our Order and thou by them wouldst speak who makest the toâ—gues of infants eloquent Then they by prayer conuersing in a familiar and tender maner with thee would speak so that none would be
wil and pleasure may be perfectly accomplished in al creatures and last of al though not with the least affection I offer to thee this thy Conuent wherof though very vnworthy of such a fauour as to liue in such a happy company I am a poor imperfect member beseeching thee for thy owâ—e sake and by the loue thou bearest to al such as truly seek to please thee alone that thou wilâ— mercifully enrich their souls with the most aboundant gifts of thy grace so that their whole study may be to please praise and worship thee in spirit and truth and especially I offer thee thoâ—e therein that haue done do or shal heerafter by their patience in supporting the defects of their Sisters and helping them by that meanes to beare their burthen and by their giuing good example in Humility Obedience and other vertues be a meane or helpe to the maintaining of Peace in this thy house towards which thou hast shewed so much Prouidence that if we cast not our whole care both for body and soul vpon thee we shal not deserue the fauâ—urs thou hast shewed to vs. We are thy little flock keepe thou euer possession of vs let vs be of one mind and of one hart and let vs al and euery one with one consent according to thy grace giuen vs simply intend and regard â—hee in al we do tâ—ink speak or desire thou hast called vs and gathered vs together send vs a good life and a happy death to thy Praise Honour and Glory who art God of al things and to whom now and for euer be giuen al Laud and Praise by al creatures Amen Amen Delicta iuuentutis meae ignorantias meas ne memineris Domine Ab oâ—cultis meis munda me Domine ab alienis parce seruo tuo O Domine Spes mea delicta quis entelligit O my God my deare delight and al my hâ—ppines Thou knowst I groan in spirit against my-self to think that I made no more hast to couclude an euerlasting league and peace with thee my God! O teach me to loue or let me not liue thou only canst do al things and I as tâ—ou wel knowst can do nothing Behold I desiâ—e to leaue al to find thee and to dy to al created things to the end I may liue only in and to thee I desire only thee and to reâ—urn to thee the beginning of al creatures and the supreame beloued of al chast souls O how powerful is thy true loue in a pure soul O purify my hart and soul so that nothing but thy loue may liue in me O when shal I see my soul vnited to thee O when by true loue shal my soul languish for thee O when shal I be wholy turned into the loue of thee O that I might do in al things that which is pleasing to thee O when shal my soul by transcending al created things become capable by Charity of embracing thee in the bottom of my poor soul O loue loue loâ—e what wonderful effects dost tâ—ou work in a soul Thy loue my God doth sweeten al miâ—eriâ—s aâ—d maketh light al burthens and labours Verily nothing in the wâ—rld is so delightâ—ful to them that loue it and haue as much of it as they can desire and enioy al the pleasures and contents thereof as it is to a louing soul that sincerely seeketh thee to suffer for thy loue O my God what do we loose euen in this life when we wish for loue or desire any thing besids thee It is only loue that draweth thee down to vs and eleuateth vs vp to thee O who would not suffer any thing to obâ—ain this loue Nothing can comfort or satisfy my soul but to loue thee When wilt thou replenish my hart with thy pure loue that resteth in thee aboue thy gifts that my soul may truly adore thee in spirit and truth Thou knowst that no grasse doth so wither for want of water as doth my poor sinful soul for want of â—hy loue O that without ceasing I could praise thee As the sâ—ag or hart beiug tired with pursuit doth thirst and pant after a sweet Spring so doth my soul after thee it hauing been much more tired with streying from thee then the poor hart can be by being chaced by his enemâ—es by as much more as it is more greiuous to be hurt by ones self then to haue it done by others O wâ—en shal I in al things do thy wil that my actions may be iust and plâ—asing to thee O when shal I so humble my-self â—hat I may be worthy in some sort to praise thee whom now for my pride I am not fit to name Iesu Son of Dauid haue mercy on me and of thy great pitty and Charity remember me among the Whelps that expect and beg vnder thy table for one crum of grace from thee Where but vnder the shaddow of thy wings shal I repose from the heat of al inordinate paâ—â—ions and desires and from that mid-day Sun that parcheth and withereth away the new spriggs or leaues of my new sowen desir of louing praising and pleasing thee alone my Lord and my God Who but thy self by thy swâ—et grace can preserue mâ— from fâ—lling into my old sins and sorrowes Thou therefor art my only Refâ—ge in this day of my tribulation and amidst the storms of this world to thee I reueale my cause be thou my strength and my Glory that I may at last laying down the burthen of this mortal flesh be admitted into that place where I may Praise thee for euer and euer Amen O my God when shal that time come that I shal neuer more offend thee This is the mâ—sery wherein I languish and which maketh this world tedious to me This only is truly to be tearmed an affliction and misery and nothing is truly to be accounted misery but to displease thy diuine Maiesty Iesu Son of Dauid haue mercy on my sinful soul. O how happy are those that loue thee O loue loue loue of my God how far is my sinful soul from the happines of enioying thee as my soul desireth Nothing is sweet to a hart that desireth to loue her God but to sigh long and pant after him O who wil giue me the wings of a Doue that I may fly into the open wounds of my beloued O my God my oâ—ly desire how long shal I thus be estranged from thee the God of my hart and my portion for euer O the most dearly beloued of my soul how long shal I by inordinatly adhering to created things bâ— so far from louing thee as I ought to do O thou who only deserueth our loue my God and my al Lord my God who alone art good and iust shal I any longer loue uanity and seek after a lye How long shal thy dispositions and most righteous ordinances be dâ—spleasing to thy poore seruant How long shal I resist thy diuine wil Verily my God in this my misery I sigh
vnto thee who art my hope from my youâ—h and am displeased with my-self for hauing been so vngrateful to thy sweet mercy acknowledging before Heauen aâ—d earth that nothing is iust but that which thou disposest and nothing is wel done saue so far as it is done by thee so much as any thing I do or say is only of mine own wil and desire so far it iustly deserueth punishment to thee be al glâ—ry In nothing is true Peace but in seekâ—ng after God aâ—one and in resting â—n him aboue al his giâ—ts O my God when shal I be able to say Quis me separabit à Charitate Dei VVho shal separate me from the Charity of God O when shal I by true loue become vnited to thee the only desire of my hart and soul Vsquequo Domine obliuisceris me in finem Vsquequo auertis faciem tuam à me How long wilt thou forget me vnto the end Hâ—w long doth thou turn away thy face from me wilt thou for euer be angry with thy poor seruant Behold thou knowst I desire no other comfort vpon earth then to be able without offending thee to liue without al comfort human or diuine O how litâ—le to be esteemed is al the solaces this world can afford The wicked haue been telling me of their delights but they are not like those of thy Law What comfort can any creature lâ—uing afford a soul that sigheth and longeth after thee alone my God and is bannished from the beloned of her soul Verily my God it is only thy-self that can reioyce and comfort such a soul thou only art sweet and al things compared to thee are as nothing and lesse then nothing O my Lord and my God tel me is there any thing in Heauen or on Earth that can satisfy my soul besids thee No certainly Why then dost thou permit me thus to wander from thee who art only worthy to be desired and beloued by my soul O my most deare God who can comprehend the misery that soule suffereth that taketh comfort or desireth any comfort from any creature O how long shal I be subiect to this mysery of inordâ—natly louing thy creatures so that it is an impediment to the louing of thee my Creator who art the supreame Good To thee alone is al loue due and we do steal from thee when our affection is willingly caried to any thing els whatsoeuer O my God my Mercy let vs loue thee as thy diuine Maiesty who art Lord of al things in whose power al things do stand let me I say loue thee as thou wouldst be beloued by me O my Lord as-long as the peace of my soul dependeth of men I can neuer repose in thee or â—ind thee in the bottom of my soul What came I into Râ—ligion â—or but to loue and praise my God my Lord and al my good O when shal I as I desire loue thee and please thee my God and al my desire O my God how cometh it to passe that thou whose mercies are super omnia opera eius Aboue al his works shouldst be now tearmed to be terrible and hard to be pleased Verily I am a sinner and the greatest of al sinners and yet I haue found thee so good and easily pleased that nothing is more pleasant then to serue thee for loue and to beare thy yoke from our youth The yoke of sin is heauy but thine is sweet aboue a the contâ—ntments and pleasures of this world Let those that seek not thee and that desire any thing willingly but thee feare and return to theâ— but let the harts of them that loue thee reioice O Lord. But can I say I loue Verily not I. But shal I for this feareâ— No my God at least not so as to loose confidence which hath in it a great remuneration For seeing by thy grace I desire to loue and to leaue al for loue I wil hopâ— in thy Mercâ— let it assist my extreame frailty anâ— pouerty Of my-self I am nothing but in thy power I shal be able to do al things Thou knowst that I desire to leaue al for thy sake and that if I knew any thing that I loued to the impediment â—of my truly seruing thee it would be so greâ—t a gâ—eif to my soul that nothing in Heauen or earth could comforâ— me til I see my-self freed from that miserable bondage by thy aâ—â—isting Graceâ— which I implore from the bottom of my soul Set me free I mosâ— humbly beseech thee by the multitude oâ— thy Mercies from the sinnes into which I daily fal through my frailty remoue al impedâ—ments between my soul and thee for I am frail aboue al measure Let me liue to thee dying to al other things whatsoeuer Let me find and possesse thee in the bottom of my soul Let al creatures be â—ilent that thou alone maist be heard by me And I wil not trouble my-self with them without who are puffing and blowing and thereby raising vp the dust of multiplicity into their own and others eyes Let me enter into the most retired place of my soul and sing loue songs to thee my Al and only Good regarding thee with the simple eye of my soul and sighing out certaâ—n vnspeakabe groans in this pilgrimage of mine into the eares oâ— the only beloued of my hart and soul wo is me that euer I offended such a God! Be propitious O Lord vnto my sin for it is great O Mercy which hath neither end nor measure haue pitty on me and forgiue me my sins Amen God! Let thy Truth and not the blindnes of my own ignorance speak to me Speak Lord for thy seruant heareth or at least desireth to hear thee Behold I set open the eares of my soul that I mny heare my beloued speak Iustice and Peace to my hart For thy voice is sweet and thy face comely and there is none like vnto thâ—e in Beawty and wisedom Thou my God the repose of my labour the ioy of my soul and the comfort of my hart Be to me al in al and aboue al which can be enioyed ot desired Let me O let me rest in thee and in no created thing whatsoeuer Simplify my soul that it may be able to adhere to thee my God transcending al created things O when shal my soul forget al and only be mindful of thee the most pure spirit resting in thee aboue al thy Graces and Gifts O when shal I be by profound Humility reduced to the nothing which only makes a a soul capable of thee who art al good things who art that simple good in which nothing is wanting How long shal I glory in any created thing and seek my-self to the dishonour of him with out whom I could neither haue life nor being much lesseâ— to be able without him to do any thing meriting grace and Saluation O my God when wilt thou set me free that I may glory in thee alone and not by pride exalt
of my death obtain for me wretched sinner confidence in his Mercies which are as thou knowst aboue al his works I am not worthy to loue but he is worthy of al loue and Adoration I cannot without great ioy remember these following words of the Prophet I saie hoping his Goodnes wil for his own sake giue me leaue to apply them to me poor and sinful soul though I desetuâ— nothing of my-self neuer hauing done him any faithful seruice in al my life Chap 43. v. 1. And now thus saith our Lord that created thee and formed thee Feare not because I haue redeemed thee and called thee by thy name Thou art mine 2. When thou shalt passe through the waters I wil be with thee and the flouds shal not couer thee when thou shalt walke in fire thou shalt not be â—uâ—ned and the flame shal not â—urn inâ— thee O blessed Saint make intercession for me that I may be confident in him who thus aboundeth with Mercy Amen 3. Because I am the Lord thy God the Holy one of Israel thy Sauiour 4. Since thou becamest honourable in mine eyes and glorious I haue loued thee 5. Feare not becaus I am with thee 6. And euery one that inuocateth my name for my glory I haue created him formed him and made him 8. Bring forth the blind people and hauing eyes the deaf and he that â—ath eares 9. Let them giue their witnes be iustified 10. In very deed you are my witnes saith our Lord and my seruants whom I haue chosen that you may know and beleeve me and vnderstand that I my self am 11. I am I am the Lord and there is no Sauiour beside me and there is not that can deliuer out of my hand 16. Thou saith our Lord that gaue away in the Sea and a paâ—h in the vâ—hâ—menâ— waters 18. Remember not former things and looke not on things of old I am he that takes cleane away thine iniquities for mine own sake and I wil not remember thy sins 26. Bring me into remembrance and let vs be iudged together Tel me if thou â—aue any thing that maiest be iustified Hethertho the words of the Prophet I saie S. Iohn 2. v. 12. I writ to you litle children becaus your sins are forgiuen you for his name And now my children abid in him that when he shal appeare we may haue confidence and not be confounded of him in his coming My dearest beleeue not euery spirit and euery spirit that dissolueth Iesus is not of God Feare is not Charity but perfect Charity casteth out feare Let vs therefore loue God becaus God loued vs. This is the Charity of God that we keep his Commandments and his Commandments are not beauty O infinit Goodnes who art Charity it-self powre thy Grace aboundantly into my poor foul I inuoke thee my God by the merits and intercession of al thy Saints in Heauen and seruants on earth to haue mercy on me now in this my last extreamity Al I desire is that in life and death I may be disposed of according to the multitude of tâ—y most aboundant Mercies a fountain neuer drawn dryâ— Al my ioy is in that thou art my God and that I am at thy disposing Though I am poor in al vertnes yet I am confident to be partaker of thy Merits ó sweet Iesus which thou liberally bestowest according to thy wil and pleasure O be thou blessed in al thou disposest O my God who art al I desire Into thy hands I commend my spirit who art blessed for euer Amen The most learned of D. S. Augustin saith Aiâ— eruditissimus Doctorum Augustinus O eternal Truth and true Charity and O aeterna veritas vera Charitas Deare Eternity Thou art my God to thee chara Eteruitas Tu es Deus meus I suspire day and night This is that subliue Tibi suspiro die ac nocte Hic est sublimis ille Contemplatiue Augustine Contemplator Augustinus Cuius cor Charitas Christi vulneraueraâ— whose hart the Charity of Christ had wounded O my deare Saâ—nt whose great Humility I can neuer to much praise and admire pray for her to whom thou hast been in her greatest afflictions and miâ—eries euen as a Father and Mother for which be exhibited honouur to thee by the most sweet hart of IESVS our Sauior the Son of the liuing God by which and from which doth most aboundant sweetnes flow to al the elect In the power that he gaue thee being one by whom he bound and loosed sinners giue an aboundant benediction to thy poore seruant and beg of my God that I may neuer seek or intend any thing for time or eternity but his honour and Glory and that I may so humble and subiect myself vnder his mighty hand thaâ— for his loue I may willâ—ngly submit my-self in what maner he pleases to al creatures Let me commit and commend my-self to thy protection who art a careful receauer of al my petitions and who art one who in a most particular maner Godâ— hath giuen me confidence in in al â—he necessities wherein my soul doth stand need of an Aduocat and friend O happy change to leaue al friends on earth to find the more certaiu assured friends and Intercessors in Heauen who are neuer absent neuer vncertain nor euer do they fail as those in this world are subiect to do Be therefor mindful of me I beseech thee in my life also in my last extremity and remember that when affrighted with the multitude and greiuoushes of my sinnes and imperfections I durst scarsely cast vp mine eyes to Heauen or cal vpon God and his Blessed Mother who might iustly disdain so vngrateful and contemptible a creature Yet by thy meanes and being incouradged by thy example and reading thy life and books so ful of Conâ—idence and sweetnesâ— I found my hart lightned and my spiâ—it refreshed and my soul exceedingly comforted finding in thee and by thee expressed what a good God we haue and that as his Mercies are aboue al his works so he is able to forgiue more then we can offend Thou knowest thy very name when I am sad and afflicted doth refresh me to behold it and seemeth to smile vpon me in my miseries assuring me of â—hy helpe in al my soul standeth need of thee in this my pilgrimage and ban shment from my God who is my only loue life desire and al my happines Tâ— whom for euer be al Glory Honour anâ— Adoâ—ation by al as wel on earth as in Heaâ—enâ— and whom by his sweet Mercy and thy intercession I desire and hope to loue and sâ—rue for euer and euer Amen Omnes qui habebant infirâ—os ducebant illes ad Iesum sanabaâ—â—ur Al that had diseased brought thâ—m to Iesus and they were curedâ— To whom therefor should I fly in my manifold infirmities but to thee my Iesus my Goâ— and my Sauiour Who is worthy oâ— our loues our thoughts our harts and our souls but
me in their holy prayers which are most pleasing to thee And I also desire that some wil out of their Châ—rity reade these things to me which heerafter follow when sicke to deathâ— shal be becompassed with those fears and terrors which ordinarily accompany that dreadful hower at which time as al oâ—her be thou my helper and Protectorâ— and in the Bowels of thy Mercy Good Father remâ—mber me poor begger and from heauen send me now and at my departure thy Grace which may bring me to thee where I may with al thy Elect Praiseâ— Adore and worship thee for euer and euer An acte of Contrition partly taken ouâ— of the words of blessed S. Augustin 1. O LORD I confesse I haue sinned aboue the sands of the Sea in number yet such is the greife which I take thereat that I wil not refuse to suffer any kind of punâ—shment for thâ— same O Iesus whatsoeuer thy wil shal be that I should do I desire to performe it according to thy holy wil. I haue nothing to offer vnto thee but a hart willing to do whatsoeuer thouâ—ouldst â—ouldst haue me 2. Hâ—er I offer my-self bound both hand and foot and I lye prostrate at thy feet crauing pardon for my abominable sins and offences 3. I fly not away I appeale not from thy sentence oâ—herwise then from thy Iustice to thy Mercy which we sinners do daily experience to be aboue al thy works 4. I do not plead to be released of any punishment but rather that thou maist iudge me according to thine own Blessed wil only let me not be separated from thee O thou thy-self dost say to vs Thou wilt not sinners death But that we do conuert and liue euen while our souls haue breath And no more then to cease to be canst thou O God refuse To pardon humble penitents that do themselues accuse Being no accepter of persons al hauing cost thee deare Yea euen thy very life it-self how can I therefor fear If euer yet he did disdain sinners that fled to him Then had I little cause of hope but this was neuer seen Foâ— if they doe return to thee thy hart thou wilt not close As witnes can my wretched soul who was so like to lose Al grace and goodnes if thou hadst not me with helpe preuented By sins that would with bloudy teares be while I liue lamented If I as grateful were to thee as thou deseruest I should Or as another in my case vuto thy mercy would But thou whiles that thou liuedst heer by tokens plain didst shew That none should be refused by thee who dost in mercy flow And that my wicked hart did proue who after â—ins so many Hath found much fauour in thine eys without deseruing any O blessed euer be my God for this preuenting grace Which I vnworâ—â—y haue receaud in this most happy place I fled from thee by many sins and thou didst follow me As if my ruin would haue causd some detriment to thee How can this choose but wound my hart when I remember it And euer serue to humble me while at thy feet I sit From whence my Lord my God and al permit me not to rise til I do loue thee as thou wouldst the which doth al comprise 5. I know thou wilst not the death of a sinner but rather that I be conuerted and liue 6. Be pacified therefor I beseech thee for thine own saâ—e and receaue me into thy fauour looke vpon thine own wounds and let them plead my pardon do not for euer blot me out of â—he book of life but rather giue me grace faithfully heerafter to serue and please thee 7. I know it is reason that one who hath been so vngrateful to thy Supreame Maiesty as I haue been should humbled despise and willingly abase himself euen at the feet of al creatures which thy sweet Goodnes grant me to do that I may heerafter find sauour in thine eyes who be blessed and praised by al for euer Amen O sweet Iesus to whom nothing is impossible but not to be merciful to the miserable forgiue me mine offence I am sorry from the bottom of my hart that euer I offended thee or contradicted thy holy wil but I know thou canst forgiue more then I can offend which maketh me confident of being receaued into thy fauour though thy most aboundant Mercy to whom my God be giuen al Laud. Honour and Praise by al creatures in heauen and in earth for euer and euerâ— Amen O amiable Iesus behold al thy creatures do inuite and exhort me to yeald thâ—e praises for al thy benefits which haue been I must ackowledg without end or measure towards me thy vnworthy creature Euery creature doth in their kind sing and set forth thy great Goodnes inuiting me to loue only thee and yet behold how cold and dul I am in Louing Praising and Exalting thee O what shal I say but cry out to thee who art my hope my help my Loue my life and Al yea my Father my Spouse and my God to grant thy Grace may not be void in me after so many infinit benefits O be thou heerafter the only desire and ioy of my soul. Let me look after nothing but thee loue nothing but thee let me night and day sigh and long after thee my beloued Let it suffice me to haue my inteutions and proceedings only approued by thee O let me honour and respect al for thy sake howsoeuer they treate me for my ingratitude hath been so great to thee that al creatures as wel goâ—d as bad may iustly despise me and do thee great honour thereby I offer thee therefor thine own merits seeing I haue none of mine own for those that shal any way reuenge thy quarrel by afflicting her who deserueth nothing but hel for hauing so often offended thee After something which she had collected out of the following of Christ concerning Prayer she writ as followeth O MY Lord God how much do thy Saints praise and commend the holy Exercise of Praier O how happy are â—hose that haue no other study or care then how to extol and praise thy Diuine Maiesty and in Humility of hart to make their necessities known vnto thee who art the Father of Mercies Dius totius consolationis qui consolatur nos in omni tribulatione nostra And the God of al consolation who comforts vs in al our tribulation To whom should we sinners fly but to thee my God who didst thou euer reiect that lamented and wâ—s sory for their sinnes Nay did not publicans and harlots finde thee more willing to forgiue theÌ„ they could be to aske for pardon Thou who forgauest S. Peter S. Mary Magdalen S. Augustin and infinit others their sinnes and offences be merciful to me who groaneth in spirit against my-self to see and remember that I haue made no more hast to conclude an euerlasting peace and league with thee O my God To thee now al the powers of my scattered
defiled and deformed soul doth aspire Behold I do extol now thy deare seruice to the skie professing and protesting that there is no liberty so sweet as to be bound and obliged by vowes to serue thee for loue Thou true and most blessed God how didst thou with a most sweet and seuere kind of Mercy receaue chek and conuince me straying and flying from thee by shamefully seeking that in thy creatures which is only to be found in thee to wit comfort and peace O Lord I am thy seruant say vnto my soul I am thy Saluation and al that is within me shal say Quis similis tibi Deus meus VVho is like vnto thee my Lord God Behold I haue had an auersion from al that which thou louest and an inclination to al which thou hatest But thou hast broken my bands and I wil offer thee a Sacrifice of Praise submitting henceforth my stifneck to thine easy yoke and my shoulders to thy light but then Vnderneath a picture of B. Iohn de Cruce she writ as followeth viz. O Blessed and pure Saint pray for me sinful wretch who am not worthy to cal vpon thee yet coafiding in thine inflamed charity I commit and commend my-self to thy sweet protection now and at the dreadful howre of my death remember me I beseech thee Amen To some Collections which she drew out of S. Augustins Confessions she added as followeth Good God be merciful to mine iniquities for this deare Saints sake of thine whose Humility doth so astonish me that I cannot choose but cry with a loud voice in my hart O how admirable art thou in thy Saints What are his whole Books of Confessions but a profound acknowledgment of his sinnes whieh he doth not only confesse to thee but to al the world to the end that al may perpetually praise thy Mercy But O my God for this Humility of his thou hast highly exalted him for which be thou eternally magnified and praised by al creatures He was one of those sinners for whose conuersation There was more ioy in Heauen then vpon ninty nine Iust and not without great cause seeing he was to be a chief pillar in thy Church and one who might and did draw infinit sinners by his words and writings out of the mire and dreggs of sinne and taught them to submit themselues to thiue easy yoke and to seâ—ue thee for loue and to glory in nothing but thee Yea what is wanting in his words that may inuite our souls to loue thee with al our harts with al our strengths and our neighbour as our selues Who can speaâ—e in the words of thine own Oracles more comfortably to sinners then he hath done â—n fine hâ—s words are so amorously sweet in thy Praises that euen my frozen soul had been melted thereâ— by into thy praise He for thy sake be an Aduocate and Intercessor to thee for me the most sinful and contemptible of al thâ— seruants he I say to whom many sinnes wâ—re forgiuen because he loued much whom I desire together with al the Celestial Court to Adore and Praise thee for me who am not worthy to name thee who be euer blessed Amen In a Collection which she was making out of the Booke of Psalmes she added to some verses as followeth Psal. 23. vers 6. THis is the generation of them that seeke hâ—m of them that seek the face of the God of Iacob I pray God it may proue so with vs to his Honour and Glory â—sâ—l 31. veâ—s â—0 I wil giue thee vnderstanding and wil instruct thee in the way tâ—at thou shalt go I wâ—l fasten mine eyes vpon thee who is not wholy inflamed with a desire to seeke after God alone to heare such a promise from his own mellifluous mouth Psal. 35. vers 10. Because with thee is the fountain of life and in thy light we shal see light I beseech al those deuout souls that shal peruse this book to labour carefully for that light which the Prophet heer speaketh of which proceedeth from loue and not from human wisedom This light by which we shal discerne truth from falshood is gotten by conuerâ—ing with Almighty God and humbling our selues vnder his mighty hand This light hath taught many their way to God that could neither write nor read Sweet Iesus make vs of the number of these little ones to whom this light is reuealed which is hidden from the wise and prudent which is bestowed vpon those that faithfully adhere to God and not on those that glory rather in themselues them in him He be Blessed and Praised by al for euer and euer Amen Psal. 86. vers 5. Reueale thy way to our Lord and hope in him and he wil do it A comfortable saying for those that God permits stil to remain do whâ—t they can in their imperfections v. 7. Haue no emulation in him that appeareth in his way v. 6. Be subiect to our Lord and pray him Note this wel v. 11. The meeke shal inherit the land and shal be delighted in multitude of peace If we truly labour for his peace which is in much Patience the God of Peace wil be amongst vs. v. 25. When he shal fal he shal not be bruised because our Lord putteth his hand vnder O what an incouradgment is this to a poore frail soul Let vs notwithstanding our imperfections confidently and amoâ—ously when we fail hope in his Mercy and then He wil heal and helpe vs who makes vs so many sweet promises VVho be blessed by al creatutes for euer and euer Amen v. 26. I haue been yong for I am old and I haue not seene the iust forsaken nor his seed seeking bread Why do we distruct then who haue dedicated our selues wholy to God fearing ro depend only of his diuine Prouidenâ—e which is the greatest happines in this world and so much to be desired if we had so much loue and couradge as we should Psal. 38 v. 8. Doubtles al things are vanity euery man liuing O my poor soul take good notice of this verse Adhere to our Lord whose years neuer fail and whose helpe is alwaies at hand Giue that to God that is Gods and that to Caesar that is Caesars marke what the Prophet faith in the same Psalme viz. And now what is my Expectation is it not our Lord and my substance is with thee Psal. 39. vers 15. But thou O Lord make not thy considerations far from me thy Mercy and thy truth haue alwayes receaued me O be thou euer blessed for it by al creatures my God and Al. Amen Psal. 40. vers 1. Blessed is the man that vnderstandeth concerning the needy and the poor in the euil day our Lord wil deliuer him O my poor soul though thou hast not where with to releeue the poor in thâ— iâ— huÌ„ger thirst yet dispaire not to gaine this blessing that our Lord wil protâ—ct thee in the euil day which thou standest so much need off For to pray for