thou did'st was not for thy advantage but for mine not for thy good but for mine not for thy honour but for mine not for thy glory but to bring me to glory and all this thou did'st looking for nothing againe thou lovest me only because thou would'st love me Ah height length depth and breadth of love that an offended God should sue and wooe and pray and pay and promise and give and dye and live to reconcile inrich honour magnifie and exalt offending man poore despicable man vile wretched worthless man nothing man that can be fitly compared to nothing but to nothing less then the drop of a bucket or the dust of the ballance O Lord let these thy wonders of mercyes and wonderfull compassions cause me ever to admire and adore thy love and kindness thy kinde love thy goodness and thy greatness and to cry out Lord what is man that thou art so mindfull of him and the Son of man that thou so regardest him as to visit him to magnifie him to dwell in him to delight in him to make him thy delight to set thy heart upon him to do him good even according to all the good that is in thy heart having prepared for him a Kingdome which cannot be shaken a Kingdome of Glory an Eternall and incomprehensible weight of glory where is joy all joy unspeakable joy and Rivers of pleasures for ever more where is no night but all is day yea the Lord himself is the light thereof where is no grief nor sorrow nor care nor feare but all teares shall be wiped away and there shall be no more sorrow nor sighing but all joyes and singing of praises and Hallelujahs with the Angels and Saints beholding the Lord of glory yea the glory of the Lord seeing him face to face as he is and knowing him as he is to be known there is no Canaanite in that Heavenly Country no Cain to kill no Sodomite to vex no Ishmaelite to scoff no Esau to terrifie no Shimei to curse no Herod to persecute no Rabsheketh to raile no Judas to betray this Heaven is above all Molestations and perturbations and not for tearm of years but for ever Ah most holy most great and most glorious Lord God bring me I most humbly beseech thee in thine own good due and appointed time that I may behold thy beauty and thy glory and the light of thy right blessed and most blessed and glorious countenance which may by the bright Aspect shining on me cause me likewise to shine more brighter then the Sun and my soul and body together to be made perfect pure and holy as thou O God art though not so holily pure and perfect and that both being enlightened with thy heavenly wisdome may be made to know the stability thereof and be assured of thine Eternal and everlasting love and living in me for ever and for ever Grant these things O my God and my Father in Jesus Christ and what ever else thou knowest to be needfull or expedient for me both for soul and body and all for the merits of thy Son and my Saviour thy Christ and my Jesus for whom my soul shall ever bless and praise thee as the Lord my Righteousness and to whom with thy glorious Majesty and holy spirit of grace the Comforter and the Sanctifier be given by me and by all thine as all due is and to none else honour glory power might Majesty dominion and thanksgiving now and for ever more Amen 1. Contentment though in Poverty is the best the surest and the greatest riches 2. Let me not set thee a time O my God but wait on thee for all things in thy time 3. And when thy time shall come to send me forth let me run and not grow weary and walk and never faint 4. Send me O Lord whither thou wilt and to do what thou wilt I am willing to goe and be and do what ever thou shalt command though to spend and to be spent for thee 5. And wheresoever O Lord thou shalt place me I shall not account it my abiding place no longer then it shall be thy pleasure that I there abide 6. Being with thee my God where ever it be I shall be I am sure where I would be 7. And being in thee my Saviour and thou in me my condition I am sure will well please and content me what ever it be 8. Ah Lord who would or who should desire to live here in the flesh being he cannot live and not sin it is not subject to thy Law neither indeed can be 9. And who would not or should not be willing to dye to kill sin that sin might dye and be destroyed for ever totally 10. Yet I am content to live though I do sin thy grace O my God being sufficient for me 11. I had rather be on earth for thy sake and to do thy will then to be in Heaven for my own sake only and only to have my own will 12. For is it not to be in Heaven even to do thy will on earth as it is done in Heaven it is a Heaven on this side Heaven an earthly Heaven or a Heaven on earth which good Lord give and grant me untill thou givest me what thou hast promised me which is thy blessed self in Heaven who art the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven 13. Where then soever when and how long soever I live or dye I shall through thy good grace live and dye contented and most joyfully 14. How willingly how willingly Lord would I leave this world and all the things in it if they were all mine to live with thee for I know thee O Lord I know thee and for which I most heartily thank thee that thou art much better then all things yea all things compared to thee are nothing and all things out of thee that is without thee can be fitly compared to nothing but to nothing 15. And yet Lord thou knowest how willing I am to live in this world to live for thee 16. Thou knowest O Lord how much more willing I am to dye then to live and yet Lord thou knowest how I strive to live that I may not dye 17. Give me grace O my God so to live as I may dye daily and to dye daily that I may ever live 18. Let me so live as I may live ever Let me so dye as that I die never Let me dye but once that I live for ever Let me die that once that I die never 19. Come then O Christ and set me free That I may goe and live with thee Then shalt thou be unto me gaine And free me from Eternall paine 20. When I do any thing that is good it is against the will of the flesh and when I do any thing that is evil it is against the will of the spirit 21. To will good is many times present with me but how to performe it I know not at any time how of my self but
by â—hy power I may have power to do and walk uprightly before thee in all thy paths and that I may never more swerve nor turn aside out of the way of thy Commandements either to the right hand of pleasures or to the left hand of profits Give me grace O Lord God I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ to see mine own badness and thy goodness ready and willing to make me good that I may see mine own emptinesâ— and thy fulness reâ—dy to fill me mine own nakedness and thy robes to cover and to cloath me mine own sinfulness and thy righteousness to make me righteous mine own cursedness and thy blessedness to make me blessed my own deformity and ugliness and thy beautifulness to make me beautiful my own slavery and thy freedome and â—râ—eness to make me free mine own unworthyness and thy worthyness to make me worthy mine own insufficiency and thine al-sufficiency mine own demerit and thy merit mine own disobedience and thine obedience mine own nothingness yea altogether nothing and thine Almigtiness yea altogether all things for in thee are all things from thee come all things and by thee O God all things are and were Created I do most unfeignedly confess O Lord that I am unable and unfit to speak unto thee and as unworthy to hear thee speak unto me for in me that is in my flesh there is no good I am all evil only evil and continually evil but in thee O God dwelleth all good for thou art all good only good and continually dost good without thee I can say nothing think nothing nor do nothing that is good suffer me not therefore O Lord I beseech thee to speak in my own wisdome for that would be but the wisdome of words but let me O Lord speak in thy wisdome which will be the words of wisdome and Wisdoms words Let me not O Lord go forth in my own strength against any Temptation for I am so weak I should be overcome and fall into any Temptation but let thy strength thy power thy might and thy love O Lord be seen in my weakness to strengthen me and by thy power powerfully working in me I may overcome and trample under my feet all the strength and power of all my adversaries and enemies Devils lusts worlds lusts and self lusts Ah Lord God suffer me not to goe from thee for thou hast the words of Eternal life thou art the word and the life yea Eternal life he that hath thee hath life and shall not see death nor tast of death because he is past from death to life but he that hath not thee O Lord Christ is dead already because he liveth in sin for he that liveth in sin is dead though he liveth Ah Lord I confess that the Well of thy mercy is much deeper then Jacobs Well and yet sure I am that such Children yea such Infants as I am can draw water from thence even the water of life even such water as giveth another life a better life which is an immortal and eternal life a life that shall never see death being hid with Christ in God Ah sweet Jesus let me have thee in my heart which is much better then to have thee as Simeon had in his armes my armes might let thee fall out of them but my heart cannot I had rather yea much rather see thee with the eyes of true saving faith then of sence or with the eyes of the flesh for thine Enemyes O Lord saw thee with fleshly eyes and yet hated thee spit on thee reviled and mocked thee whipped thee persecuted thee and crucified thee bearing false witness against thee and believed not in thee notwithstanding all the miracles that thou did'st but all those that see thee O Lord by the eyes of faith will believe in thee and say of thee unto thee as Thomas did my Lord and my God they will so love thee as they will Crucific themselves and their bosome sins hate themselves and their own wayes persecute themselves and Crucifie all their own sinful fleshly worldly devilish lusts and affections and live as new Creatures in the world as if they were not of the world using the world as if they used it not Ah happy yea thrice happy are they that are in such a case for they have the Lord for their God Ah poor lost I poor forgotten I poor forsaken I poor undone I poor miserable I poor nothing despicable poor I untill thou O my sweet Jesus did'st come to my help to my succour to find me to save me to comfort me to inrich me to deliver me to set me free and bring me out of the chains of sin Hell and death by which I was held and led Captive and did'st most gratiously bring me into thy self and gavest me thy self and loved'st me as thy self doing for me O God what thou could'st do making me like thy self Ah Lord God thou knowest all things I well know thou knowest my heart and what more can my heart say unto thee thou only O Lord art the searcher the tryer and the knower of all hearts thou knowest O Lord I know well that thou knowest how much my heart rejoyceth because thou knowest it O Lord I most humbly beg and beseech thee in Jesus Christ to search and try me even all the Corners and Crannys of my heart and what evil is still in me O Lord I humbly intreat thee to destroy with an utterr and totall destruction that it may be said of it it is not Let sin O Lord as the house of Saul grow every day weaker and weaker and grace as the house of David every day stronger and stronger O Lord perfect that good work of grace which thou hast in the abundance of thy love begun in me untill thou hast in love made it and brought me into perfect glory and all this I beg of thee O Father in Jesus Christ what else thon knowest to be needfull or expedient for me both for soul and body in life in death and after death for Christ I shall ever bless thee and to him with thy glorious Majesty and holy spirit of grace the comforter and sanctifier do I render from the bottome of my heart unfaignedly as all due is and unto none else honour glory power might Majesty dominion and thanksgiving now henceforth and for evermore Amen 1. If our comfort and joy be so great to enjoy the Company of one imperfect Saint on earth Ah how great shall our joy and comfort be to enjoy for ever that innumerable Company of perfected Saints in Heaven but how much more and more great shall our joy be and to our eternal comfort to enjoy God the Father Son and Holy Ghost that made them thus perfect and Saints 2. If we rejoyce so much here on earth to see one or some few friends in the flesh that we think loves God Ah how shall we rejoyce when in Heaven to see so many
that I may live to thee own me for thine own that I may own thee for mine all give me Ah give me O Lord much grace that I may give thee much glory daily grace that I may give thee daily glory continually grace that I may give thee continually glory that I may be all thine O Lord only thine alwayes thine and ever thine and all this I most humbly and unfainedly beg of thee and what ever else thou knowest to be needfull or expedient for me both for my soul and body for the name and for the worthiness of Jesus Christ thy Son and my Saviour to whom with thy Glorious Majesty and Holy Spirit of Grace do I render and give with my whole heart as all due is and unto none else Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving now henceforth and for euermore Amen Amen 34. If the love of Creatures be so lovely unto us and we esteem and love them most for their love and this their love doth many times sweetly satisfie and ravish our senses But how then are our hearts set on fire with Love when we have within us the fiery hot burning Love of a Loving God yea of a God of Love whose Love is so lovely as it knits our hearts in Love unto him and our greatest Love unto him is from his own Love because he hath so loved us as to give us hearts to love him even according to his own heart 35. If our Joy be according to the measure of Love which we enjoy from the Creature whom we most love Ah how great yea incomprehensibly great shall our joy be when we shall know and feel that we are beloved above measure by the Creator who maketh the Creature thus lovely and giveth him Love thus to love him 36. If our Love many times be so great unto the Creature for the Creature that we do not and it seems to us that we cannot love him so much as we would and do desire to do and we crave and desire chiefly his Love that we may yet love him more and this from and because we love him so much and for that our senses can be only satisfied with his Love and by loving of him for we love him most for his Love and his Love doth cause us to love him more whom we love so much yea whom we love most 37. But Ah how great then yea how wonderfully great is the love O Lord of thy Children and Servants unto thee when they know that they are beloved by thee whom they most love and must love most for thy Love thy Love being most worth worth most and therefore do they despise all Love and things lovely in the Creature to purchase thy Love O God who art the Creator of all Love and things lovely they love thy Love most O God because they know and feel that thy Love only causeth them to love thee more whom notwithstanding they do already love most and for that nothing but thy Love can satisfie them with sufficient love to love thee sufficiently for to love thee is to live and they could not live if it were not for thy Love and therefore are they ready and willing alwaies to die for thy Love and to witnesse and shew forth their love with which they love thee 38. If then the love of the Creature be so great for the Creator that it is more above and beyond my love in the Creature for the Creature yea it is so great as it cannot be uttered it being and proceeding from the Creators own Love that the Creature hath this love and that he loveth thus his Creator 39. But Ah then how incomprehensible and great is the love of the Creator for and unto us his Creatures in that he giveth us so much of his love as to love him and such condescention is in him as he delighteth to be beloved by them who out of his love do so much hate him and love only what he hateth alas alas what can we poor we say of him whom we know not but by himself and from himself and love not but from his love Let us then Ah let us then admire and in humility ever adore this his love with which he hath so loved us as to make us like himself in love which is to be all love loving others as our selves for even as his love only causeth him to love us so likewise doth this his love in us cause us thus to love him and thus to love one another with the same loving love and all that we may be all one and the same in love in him to him and for him who is the love of our love the cause of our loves love the subject of our love the object of our love which we only desire to love and the joy of this our joyous love and the aime of our end and the end of our aime is to live and love unto the end in this loving love that is that our love may never know end as his never knew no beginning nor never shall know end and this is and such is the great love of our God yea the incomprehensible love with which he loveth us being such and so great as we cannot comprehend it's greatnesse it cannot enter into us therefore we shall enter into it neither can we sufficiently expresse ours for him which flows only from his from himself who is only and alone in himself perfect love and he alone can only create and give perfect love to love perfectly none but himself from himself of himself can then thus love perfectly or give perfect love to love perfectly thus 40. It is then thy love in me O Lord my God that causeth me to love thee 41. Inflame then my cold benum'd icy frozen heart with the fiery hot burning flames of this thy burning hot love O my God that my heart may continually as Moses bush and the Seraphims still flamingly burn but never consume for it is by this and from this divine fire that cometh from thy holy Altar O Lord that my soul liveth and out of it it cannot 42. Let me then O Lord ever burn That I may ever live for why Ah if I should not still burn thus I am sure I should eft soon dye 43. Ah Lord my God and my Father in Jesus Christ I desire to praise thee ever for that thou hast not only forgiven me all but given me all thou hast not only given me a pardon for all my Iniquities and transgressions and forgiven all my sins but hast also forgotten that ever I sinned 44. Thou hast not only given me such a pardon as never to remember my sins any more but with the pardon thou hast O Lord given me thy love and thy self so as I shall ever live in thy self to love thy self ever and to offend thee never 45. Thy love O my God and heavenly Father is far greater unto me than David's was for his
against him God so delighteth in him that all that he doth and doth not delighteth him because he knoweth the thoughts of his heart and desires of his Soul towards him and for him therefore he esteemeth taketh and accepteth of what he would do as if he did what he should do 180. He that hath the Spirit of God in him is made holy he sinneth no more he is sanctified throughout in Spirit Soul and body his heart will and affections serve the Lord alwaies though with his flesh he serve the Law of sin yet with his mind he serves the Law of God he hateth all the evil which he doth and loveth all the good which he doth not so as sin yea all sin is become unto him so exceeding sinful as he would not sin either in thought word or deed to have grace abound in him no nor glory neither it is no longer therefore he that sinneth but sin that dwelleth in him for he hateth all sin with a perfect hatred and he so loveth holinesse and righteousnesse as he longeth after it he seeketh for it as for silver and searcheth for it as for hid treasures it is become his whole and only end and aime he hath no other ambition he coveteth nothing else he desireth much grace that he may give God much glory daily grace that he may give him daily glory continually grace that he may give him continually glory 181. He that hath this Spirit of God in him is led in the wayes of all truth and holinesse which is everlasting life and happinesse and he hath overcome the World and that wicked one he is departed from all iniquity in thought word and deed he hath crucified the world with all its lusts and affections and the world is crucified unto him he seeketh no longer to please the flesh by satisfying the lusts and affections thereof he serveth not God for the loaves only but he seeketh more after Heaven for God than God for Heaven for to honour obey please and serve him is Heaven to him 182. This Spirit helpeth his infirmities teacheth him Heavenly Wisdome so as to know what the mind and will of God is and to discern the great mysteries of his salvation and to know God in the spirit 183. This spirit assureth him of his Eternal Election being the Divine and Eternal purpose of God by Jesus Christ we have an access by one spirit unto the Father 184. This spirit witnesseth unto him that hath it his effectual Calling his Adoption Justification Sanctification and Glorification and makes him to cry Abba-Father and to come boldly unto his glorious Throne of grace and gratious Throne of glory and to say with Thomas my Lord and my God and with Paul I know whom I have believed and whom I love and therefore saith boldly as Peter Lord thou knowest that I love thee 185. This spirit of God leads him by the hand and directs him how he shall walk and tells him what he shall do and suffers him not to goe aside either to the right hand or to the left of honours riches or pleasures it makes him to esteem all these things below as earthly low things even as nothing for the whole world is much too little for him is not enough to satisfie please or content him for he looks on its all even as nothing at all as durt dung and dross he is content in all estates and conditions for he knows both how to want and how to abound and with St. Paul to say as sorrowful yet alwayes rejoycing as poor yet making many rich as having nothing yet possessing all things for Christ is his exceeding gain his Heavenly riches his true treasure he hath now learnt to know Christ and him Crucified and therefore rejoyceth only in the Cross of Christ and saith I have none in Heaven but thee nor in all the earth in comparison of thee Christ is now only his all and his all to him to live is Christ he mindeth none but Christ nor nothing but Christ and what he hath done for him he so loveth and delighteth in him as he is become all his talk all day long and his meditations and songs in the night if he sleeps yet he talks with him so that sleeping as well as waking he desires to have him in his thoughts and never to have his thoughts off from him and his sleep he accounts not sweet if he have had no Conversation with him by Communication and as soon as he is awake he is before his eyes and he presently recollects and recounts his mercyes and delighteth in that he oweth him more and more for though he oweth him so much yet he longs to owe him as much more and though he cannot pay him any thing yet he is not ashamed every moment to ask him all things and nothing less then all things which is himself will content him and though he have his word and promise for it yet he will have his seal also and when he hath both sign and seal yet he must have it daily yea Hourly yea as it were every moment if he could and though he accounts that he hath nothing so sure yet he would alwayes have him assure him of it not that he doubts at all of his word or promise but that he might alwayes bear in mind this his sweet and gratious promise to sweeten all other sowers of afflictions and temptations and to imbitter all other worldly and fleshly sweets he is so wedded unto him as he is never at rest nor ease if he do not alwayes behold him if he do not alwayes smile upon him if he do not still speak peace unto him if he do not in all places cause the light of his blessed Countenance to shine upon him he is so in love with him and so loveth him as if he could he would willingly think of no other speak of no other nor act for no other he would most willingly spend his all and be all spent for him follow him wheresoever he goeth though it were to be banisht imprisoned and made the poorest vilest and contemptiblest of men yea though it should bring sickness and death he is much grieved for that he hath so little to loose for him he accounts his life and all not any thing at all not worth the offering unto such a God as he is that hath done so much as he hath done for him Ah when he afresh considers hereof how afresh doth his grief and sorrow begin and most because he cannot grieve and sorrow as he would he is so wounded afresh with his new old love or his old new love as now he finds nothing lovely in himself to witness his love unto him he cannot do for him the half that he would do and Ah how is he troubled that he doth and is able to do so little for him that he loveth so much Ah how willing is he and how willingly would he do his whole and
which the wind driveth too and fro as he was made of nothing so in a moment he turns to nothing their breath goeth forth they rerurn to the earth in that very day his thoughts perish he is as the grass of the earth and as the flower of the field which to day is and to morrow is not he is so perishable as he can be compared to nothing but to nothing 194. This Spirit sheweth us that those things which we see not and cannot see be unto us as if they were and these things which we see are as if they were not because we value them not but as Pilgrims and strangers we seek a Country an Habitation not made with hands Eternal in the Heavens 195. This Spirit openeth unto our sence reason and understanding that which no man can shut and shutteth that which no man can open this spirit declareth unto us what the mind and will of God is for our good and worketh in us a holy conformity in all our minds wills and affections to be carefully studious and studiously careful to walk in all well pleasing before him it maketh us to press forward to comprehend that for which we are also comprehended of Christ Jesus our Lord it worketh in us a fear that increaseth our love and such love as casteth out all fear it maketh us to do all that we do for him and not for our selves loving him much more for himself than for our own selves and more for his glory then for our own glory if such long to be with him it is to do him more and better service for here we can know but in part and do but in part but there we shall know him as he is to be known and do for him all things which were fore-ordained and appoynted by him before that we were and that is to possesse him wholly and holy as he is that is as much as is possible for us Creatures 196. This Spirit warmeth our hearts so with his divine Love and maketh us partakers of his divine nature that daily we grow more and more conformable and like unto him and to comprehend and know more and more what is the length the bredth the heighth of the depth of his love to his children and servants and to be such as eye hath not seen ear hath not heard neither hath it entred into the heart of any man to conceive rightly the things that God hath prepared for those that love him 197. The Spirit causeth them where it dwelleth to feel what they cannot comprehend nor expresse and it so filleth their hearts with such Joy in believing that there is no joy like unto it this is that true bread of life that feedeth them unto eternal life this is that true water of life that causeth us never more to thirst with fear or doubtings this is that Rock flowing with hony that reviveth the fainting Spirits of every true Jonathan that tasts it with the mouth of Faith yea this is that heavenly Mannah and bread of Angels and Saints on which they feed and are satisfied in heaven these are the Royal Robes which Jesus Christ our Bridegrome arrayeth us with even his own Righteousnesse and true holinesse this filleth our Lamps with that burning oyl of assurance that we shall be admitted unto that marriage Feast and Supper of the Lamb this gives them all to know that their names are written in the Book of life and that their lives are hid with Christ in God So that when he shall appear at his second and sudden coming they shall also appear with him in glory this causeth them to hear his most sweet and blessed voyce come ye blessed of my Father inherit the Kingdom prepared for you before the foundation of the World was laid this assureth them that God is and will be their Portion for ever this causeth them to know that they shall all sit down with Abraham Isaac and Jacob and that God will not be ashamed to be called their God and to own them for his own even for his sons and daughters in Jesus Christ this is that new name which they all know that have it and this is that which fills them with true love to adore all his Attributes of Justice as well as of mercy and for that there is a Hell for the wicked as a Heaven for the righteous for their greatest joy and glory is for that he is what he is and for that he doth what he doth for all things that pleaseth him pleaseth them his honour is their honour and his glory their glory and therefore they delight to blesse and praise and laud and extol and magnifie his holy name and this causeth them so earnestly to beseech and beg and pray Souls to come unto Christ and to wash and bath themselves in this fountain of his blood which is allwaies open for sin and for uncleannesse this maketh them to prize it above all works knowing that it is the work of the Lord and that in it he is well pleased and that many are losers in the losse of a Soul and that great is the joy in Heaven at the conversion of a sinner this makes them to feel what they speak and to speak what they feel this makes them so willing to spend and to be spent and to follow the Lamb of righteousnesse wheresoever he goeth and to go and do and suffer quietly willingly joyfully cheerfully and patiently all that is commanded them alwaies saying O Lord send me and as Samuel speak Lord for thy servant heareth and with David my heart is ready and with Paul Lord what wilt thou have me to do take all my worldly and fleshly honours pleasures and delights make me if thou wilt as poor and as contemptable as thou thy self wast when thou wert here on earth I am content what thou wilt and only what thou wilt and all that thou wilt O Lord is the desires covetings longings and ambition of my heart and Soul for I have nor would have no other will than thy will and to do thy holy whole and blessed will here on earth as it is done in Heaven for this O Lord thou knowest is the Heaven that my soul desireth to have on Earth I shall rejoyce to be banisht to be trampled on to be a gazing and a mocking stock to be derided and scoffed at any thing Lord let me be and suffer in spirit soul and body so I may but bring home poor souls that they may not go unto that place of torment but be received by thee into thy mansion of glory to sing for ever Hallelujahs of praise honour and glory unto thy most holy and most glorious name with all that numberlesse number of Angels and Saints and with the Spirits of just men made perfect Ah who would not lose a member of his own body yea though it were all his members as the blessed Martyrs did to make up a member of Christs body for who
us which would bring us more joy joy us more then our hearts are able to hold then we are any of us able to think or to conceive 33. O Lord thou knowest that I would not have all that I would have but the heart of my desires yea the desires of my heart are to have only only to have that which is in thy heart to have me to have 34. Let O Lord I humbly beseech thee my thoughts heart and affections be alwayes loaden with the loaves of thy love 35. Let my soul alwayes be resatiated with thy love and kindnesse even with thy loving kindnesse O Lord. 36. O God in Jesus Christ let thy former mercyes alwayes glad my heart when it shall either droop or faint I most humbly beseech thee 37. Let me not Ah let me not wander from thee nor thy precepts O Lord who keepest this close unto me 38. Let thy Commandements be as a Chaine of Gold about my neck and as Bracelets of Pearls on my arms 39. Let O Lord God thy whole law which is holy be written on my heart with the singer of thy holy and blessed spirit and grant through thy grace love and mercy in Jesus Christ that I may never depart from them but alwayes and ever delight in them much more then on my daily food which thou hast appointed and ordained to feed this temporal life 40. Let thy word O God be as yea be the hony comb to the spiritual tast of my soul and resatiate and solace it as with marrow and fatness and comfort and glad it as wine on the lees yea as wine well refined on the Lees. 41. Ah Lord God cause my soul alwayes feelingly and rejoycingly to say I have none in Heaven but thee nor on all the earth in comparison of thee my Jesus and my Christ and let the Corne Wine and Oyle which are the riches honours and pleasures of the world be as durt dung and dross in comparison of it 42. Ah Lord God what is man sinful man wretched blind despicable poor man that thou art thus mindful of him and the Son of man that thou should'st thus regard him delight in him and set thy heart upon him to do him good yea to do him all the good that is in thy heart and to make him that is his heart according to thine own heart 43. Ah wonder of Wonders that such a God should thus condescend to love such a man nothing man man that is nothing but evil all evil yea and continually all evil for there is none good but thee O God O none no not one 44. Bow down O Lord bow down my heart unto the obedience of thy Laws and lift it up to rejoyce in the obedience of thy Commandments to keep them and do them for in the keeping of them there is life yea eternal and everlasting life 45. Banish O Lord I most humbly and earnestly beseech thee out of my heart and thoughts the love and the liking unto any other Love besides thee and thy Love 46. And grant that with the heart of my heart I may serve thee in truth of heart unfainedly all the daies and moments of my life that I may long after no other thing and that thy fear may be my daily food 47. Ah Lord I humbly beseech thee to give out thy self unto me that I may give up my self unto thee 48. Give O Lord give thy self unto me that I may for ever give my self to thee to live ever to thee and for thee as I desire ever to live in thee and with thee 49. Thou knowest O Lord my God that I desire not what I do desire unlesse it be conformable to thy desires so that my desires are not mine but thine not mine own but thine own yea thine all all thine 50. I would not have O Lord God thou knowest right well what I would have but what I should that what thou wilt have me to have what thou hast appointed me to have Ah let me have that only that all all that 51. I know that all that thou givest us whether graces or gifts thou wilt have an account of we shall account with thee for 52. Ah let me no longer nor no more have this woe and grief of heart to have received much and done little and to ask much for my self but to do little Ah little for thee 53. Suffer me not O Lord never to think or do that in secret which I would not which I should not do openly and let me O Lord Ah let me much more fear thine all seeing eies than all the seeing eies of Angels and men 54. How we are to desire and believe that we receive the Lord in the Sacrament of his blessed Supper and the assurance thereof to our Souls to comfort glad and rejoyce them 55. Ah Lord God as for me as for me Ah Lord God the food my Soul desireth at thy Table and Supper that which resatiateth feedeth fileth and refresheth it is the sweet breath and most divine and delitious breathings of thy divine and most holy Spirit into my heart and soul and all the affections and faculties thereof to warm and heat them to ascertain and assure my heart of thy Love and living in it which thou dost O Lord by sanctifying it the will the mind the memory the desires and all the affections and faculties thereof and by making it and them more not only to desire but to perceive see feel and certainly to know its growth and growing more and more in conformity and likenesse to thee O God in Christ by loving delighting choosing imbraceing and rejoyciâ—g in thy Laws waies word will and Commandments I do not blessed O Lord be thy name as do the Papists suppose or believe that I eat thy flesh and drink thy blood as thou wert when thou wert here on Earth in the flesh on the Crosse for I know that the Spirit must be fed with spiritual food spiritually the food of the body cannot resatiate or satisfie the Soul and that Soul that hath thus tasted and fed on thee Spiritually will assuredly hunger for this blessed heavenly food of thy holy heavenly blessed most blessed Spirit even for the breathings of this thy Spirit for the joyes and ravishments which they enjoy that enjoy and are filled with this this Spirit for the peace tranquility serenity and comfort of thy Spirit for the life and living of thy Spirit to please delight fill full satisfie and resatiate the appetite of the Soul even as the body hungreth and desireth rejoyceth and delighteth in food to please its fleshly appetite what if we could or did O Lord eat thy very body and blood that would not fill or feed our Souls which are not fed with meat and drink corporally but spiritually and what matters it O Lord as for me I care not what I eat or drink as to the outward man so I may eat and drink by faith in the Spirit and
THE CONFESSION AND CONVERSION Of the chiefest and greatest of SINNERS With his frequent Communion with God in Christ by the Spirit OR A Garden of Spiritual Fruits and Flowers LONDON Printed by J. Hayes for the Author 1662. And are to be Sold by S. Thomson at the Bishopâ—â— Head in St. Pauls Church-yard THe eies of the Lord in love are alwaies on all them that fear him for he delighteth to delight them The Lord knoweth all those that are his and none of them shall ever perish but all of them shall enjoy him for ever who is everlasting life and Salvation All the Sons of God are led by the Spirit of God and they that have not his Spirit are none of his Jesus Christ came into the World to save sinners of whom I am chief Jesus Christ came to save those that were lost even to the lost sheep of the house of Israel Jesus Christ is an open Fountain or a Fountain opened for sin and for uncleanness where all sinners as well the very greatest as the very least may wash and be for ever clean All weary and heavy laden sinners that is all such as are weary of their sins and find them an intolerable burthen if they come to Jesus Christ they shall be sure to have and find all ease rest and peace TO THE READERS GOOD Readers and Friends such you are to me however I am or may be unto you what God shall cause me here to write as a Preface or Apology is not for my self at all but for you all that is all for you I seek not my self herein God forbid and God forbid I should have a thought or any itching to speak to make you speak in the behalf of me who am a poor man a nothing but sin as I am in my self therefore not fit to be mentioned no other than to be lamented as I am in my self and God to be praised and glorified as I am in him brought home to him living in him and for that I find and know that he liveth in me I have not nor I shall not I trust through Grace ever henceforth go about to speak or write my self but him that hath called me and as he shall inable me and shew forth himself in me and unto me for I desire to forget my self with my whole heart unless to humble me and to exalt the honour and praise of my God who hath not only created me but saved me his I am and his praises I will speak Wherefore all ye that shall come to see these lines and this following discourse I trust that you shall see the Power of God accompanying them and owning them for his own words and works and if you find them not on your own Spirits to be his disown them and me but I dare you so to do who ever you be Read them I willingly would you did and Ah would to God it were all your Portions to read them with a double Portion of his Spirit and prefence which I had when I writ them that he that gave them me would doubly thus give them unto you then I am sure you would never forget his loving kindnesse nor crease to publish his praises you would I am sure be never weary telling others the Love of God to your Souls O God that art all parity brightnesse love mercy and goodnesse Compassionate I most humbly beseech thee the Souls of all those that thou hast appointed to work on by this thy Work it is O God thine not mine I acknowledge it I confesse it I here proclaim and publish it and do for it desire to speak loudly thy Eternal and eveâ—lasting praises fill them all O God with thine all with thy heavenly overflowings wherewith thou hast so abundantly and frequently filled feasted solaced and satisfied my Soul breath into them O God thine own sacred breath and set their affections in a holy flame that they may burn in Love and obedience to thy divine and holy Commandments and ever desire to live in them and never to live out of them and let this heavenly holy fire of thy Love consume all other Love that is in them that is not from thee nor according unto thee that they may be all made holy as thou art holy pure as thou art pure and perfect as thou art perfect that shining in thy brightnesse all that see them may know them to be thine and behold thee in them and they in thee feast them O God as thou hast feasted me fill them with thy self as thou hast often filled me give them and make them partakers of all those heavenly gifts and graces which thou hast many times manifested and given unto me shew them O God shew them thy Kingdom Power and Glory overcome them Ah overcome them with thy ravishing beauty dart into their hearts a beam of thy Divine Light that they may see all things in some measure that are in thee O Lord that are in thee that they may know thee as thou are to be known and labour to purifie them selves as thou art pure Ah Lord array them all with the most beautiful and transcendent glorious Robes of the righteousnesse of Jesus Christ thy dearly beloved Son that having put him on thou maist for ever own them for thine own and love them with that pure perfect and surpassing Love wherewith thou lovest them and give them I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ thine own holy Spirit to direct them to walk obediently and faithfully henceforth in all the waies of thy Commandments to the praise honour and glory of thy most holy and most glorious name the edification of the brethren and the comfort and consolation of their own Souls in the day of the Lod Jesus Christ that when he shall appear at his second coming in glory they may also all of them appear with him Dear Friends I know that God hath not given me what he hath given me for my self alone because that what of it hath been already communicated unto others he hath with the blessing of his own Spirit made it a Spiritual blessing unto them wherefore I have good reason to believe besides the perswasion of divers good Christians that it will also find acceptation among you especially for whose sakes I do what I do that is make it publick wherefore if it should meet with any so desperately critical or devilish as to censure it or me let him or them know that as I fear not so I care not what ever they say or do either against the one or the other because I know that God knoweth both my heart and my thoughts hereon and that is enough to give me boldness to go on to do it and also to rejoyce in the doing of it because he hath and doth perswade me that this my labour shall not be in vain in the Lord. And who ever thou art that any waies censurest it or me I shall as heartily pray for thee and
never desire nor ask any other honour or Condition 118. I would much rather have Christ in me and doubt it then not in me and believe it rather such true sorrow then such false joy 119. If Christ were not in Heaven I would not desire to be there my desire should be to be where Christ should be 120. Let me so love thee O Lord as I may alwayes fear thee and so fear thee as I may ever unfainedly love thee let these two graces be never sever'd from me nor I from them 121. Let no sin keep me from thee but let every and all sins drive me unto thee for I know that thou art a God pardoning all sins and Blasphemies all iniquities and transgressions of such as repent and resolve to do so no more and I know that thou art my God and Father in Jesus Christ. 122. Love me then so O Lord my God I humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ as to keep me unspotted that is from sinning against thee either in thought word or deed wittingly or willingly 123. Let thy mercyes O Lord my Lord and my good God so draw me and thy Judgments so drive me as I may never be at rest nor quiet untill I come to have quiet rest between thy breasts my dear my sweet and saving Jesus 124. Let me O Lord so think on the world as to hate it more and more untill thou givest me so much grace so to hate it as to think on it no more 125. Let me not O Lord live so long as to desire to be younger to live longer 126. But let me rejoyce in my age for that I am nearer the death of sin and the life of Eternall Glory 127. Make me O Lord not only such as I desire to be but such as thou would'st have me to be which is I trust to be one with thee and in thee 128. I desire O Lord not only to be what I would be but what I should be 129. It is in thee O Lord to give all things for thou art all things therefore of thee do I humbly beg all things 130. Let me not live one moment longer after I have done the work of my Generation that is not live for my self but for thee O Lord. 131. Let my will O Lord be only to do thy will to will thy will and to submit to thy wills will 132. Let me be wholly thine holy thine only thine all thine alwayes thine and ever thine here in thy Kingdome of grace and hereafter in thy Kingdome of Glory 133. I had much rather have the punishment of sin and not sin then the evil of sin and no punishment 134. Ah how sweet is it to want the worlds sweets and in its want to find no want but even in want most to abound 135. O Lord thou knowest I desire not so much the world as to have my thoughts and affections taken from the world 136. Could Heaven and Eternal life be purchased for to choose and commit one sin willingly I would not purchase nor have it on that condition but rather depend on the love and mercy of God in Jesus Christ. 137. I am sure God is my God because he hath given me a heart to fear him in love and to love him with fear and trembling to rejoyce in his Statutes to desire to do his will universally and to depend and trust on his sure mercies and faithfull promise in Jesus Christ. 138. I am sure God did ever love me because I am sure he doth now love me and therefore I am sure he will ever love me for where he once loveth he ever loveth and did ever love 139. I am sure God loveth me because he hath given me a heart to hate all sin universally with a sincere and perfect hatred both in thought word and deed 140. I am sure God loveth me because he hath given me true conviction and sincere sound and unfaigned repentance from for all sin esteeming all exceeding sinfull both the great and the small 141. I am sure God loveth me because I delight in his wayes and for that all my longings and desires are to do all his will 142. I am sure God loveth me because I find his Yoak easie and his burthen light 143. I am sure God loveth me because I would not commit any sin nor could I sin willingly to get his love if I doubted of it 144. I know and am sure that God loveth me because that I do most heartily and sincerely desire to love him a thousand thousand times more then my own self 145. I know God loveth me because I love him most for himself 146. I know God loveth me because I desire nothing so much as to be his faithfull humble and obedient Servant 147. I know God loveth me because I love every man especially such as I beleive love him and because their conditions what ever they be make none with me 148. I know God loveth me because I love every mans soul prosperity and happiness as my own and their bodies more then my own 149. I know God loveth me because those that have been and are still my Enemies in the flesh I love both in the flesh and Spirit 150. I know God loveth me because I do sincerely pray for the souls and bodyes of those whom I have cause to beleive that they hate me 151. I know God loves me because I hate nothing but what he hates which is sin 152. I know God loves me because he hath thus changed my heart from hatred to love and hath made me to hate what I loved and to love what I hated 153. I know God loves me because I love all things for his Glory all things in subordination to him who is all things 154. Ah sweet Jesus give me so much love to love thee here on earth as thou lovest me when thou wert here for I cannot else love thee enough nor soon enough 155. Ah that I had ever loved thee and never loved sin 156. Ah Lord give me this great grace of love that I may forget all other love forsake all other love and hate all other love that shall in the least hinder my love to thee or lessen my loving of thee for my soul desireth only to love thee 157. Thou only art lovely Ah my sweet Jesus and my only beloved 158. O Lord my God let my love to thee increase as my life shall decrease 159. And as I draw nearer to thee let me O Lord find thee more lovely and more and more to love me 160. Let me so love thee O Lord my Lord as I may love thee only serve thee only fear thee only and be delighted ravished and comforted in and with thy love 161. With thee O Lord I leave my self as a token of my love Ah give me thine and let us never change 162. The love O Lord I have for thee I confess I had from thee it being now in me O let
give me O Lord I humbly beseech thee in Iesus Christ grace to be alwayes mindfull of my last end and of the reckoning that I must make before thee the judge of Heaven and Earth take away all my doubts fears and cares for the things of this life that I may cast all my care on thee who carest for me for the earth is thine and the fulness thereof grant O Lord that I may know how to want and how to abound and to be alwayes content in all conditions knowing that all things shall be for my greatest good and that though affliction be in the night yet joy shall come in the morning grant O Lord I beseech thee that my last thoughts may be my best thoughts and my last dayes O Lord my best dayes grant O Lord that I may be willing to loose all to gain thee and to esteem it no less but great gaine grant that I may be willing to decrease that thou maist O Lord increase to spend and to be spent for thee and to follow thee the Lamb of Righteousness wheresoever thou goest grant that I may be as willing to weare the Crown of Thorns to obey thee here as the Crown of Glory to praise thee hereafter and grant O Lord that I may be as willing to suffer for thy glory as to raigne with thee in glory and that I may desire Heaven much more for thee then thee for Heaven Ah Lord I could be content With Mary to sit at thy feet and to wash them with my tears and to stand behind thee being altogether ashamed to come before thee how willingly O Lord how willingly do I with Jeremy wish that my head were a Fountaine of water that mine eyes might gush out Rivers of Tears and Ah that I could with David weep continually with Magdalen abundantly and with Peter bitterly that I might give my soul no rest untill I come into thy blessed Arms the blessed joyfull saving Ark of Rest which shall for ever cause me to flote and swim above all the storms and tempests of sin and Satan and grant O Lord that having past the time of my Pilgrimage here in thy fear I may dye in thy favour unite me O Lord I most humbly beseech thee so nâ—gh unto thy self that I may be made bone of thy bone and flesh of thy flesh make me a member of thy Mysticall body here that I may be for ever a member of thy glorious body hereafter Ah Lord God in Jesus Christ I beseech thee to sanctifie all afflictions and Temptations unto me and lay no more upon me at any time in body or mind then thou shalt in thy goodness and for thy glory in able me to bear and take not thy holy and blessed spirit the Sanctifier and the Comforter from me be thou my help in want my strength in weakness my joy in sorrow my comfort in grief my riches in poverty my palace in Prison my home in banishment my health in sickness and my life in death let thy blessedness in thee O Lord cause me to see my cursedness out of thee let thy overflowing fulness cause me to see my emptiness thy beauty my ugly deformity thy light my darkness thy glory my ignominy thy riches my poverty thy obedience my disobedience thy perfection my imperfection thy holiness my unholiness thy glory my shame thy wisdome my folly thy strength my weakness thy goodness my badness thy Heaven of happiness blessedness my Hell of unhappiness wretchedness thy all things my nothing Ah sweet Jesus that camest down from Heaven on earth to lift me up from earth to Heaven thou took'st my nature on thee to make me partaker of thine own holy blessed and divine nature thou becamest the Son of man to make me the Son of God thou becam'st O Lord my Lord an heire of misery to make me an heir of mercy yea Co-heire with thy self of Heavens great glory and eternal happiness felicity and blessedness which is thy Father self and holy spirit three persons but one God thou wert O sweet Jesus Lamb of God Son of God made a curse that I might be made a blessing thou would'st dye once that I might likewise dye but once and then live with thee for ever and for ever thou did'st O King of Glory weare a Crowne of Thornes that I might weare a Crown of Glory thou wert lifted up on the Cross to lift me up unto thee thine arms nayl'd abroad to shew how willing thou wert to imbrace me thy feet nail'd together to shew thy willingness never to goe from me thy head hanging down to shew thy Willingness to kiss me with the kisses of thy mouth of thy love for ever thy heart opened with a speare even to let me in there thus did'st thou shew by the Crown of Thorns on thy head the height of thy love by the nayling of thy feet the length of thy love by the spreading abroad of thy arms the breadth of thy love and by the opening of thy side the sheding of thy heart blood the depth of thy love O blessed God O most blessed love there is no God like unto thee nor was there ever love like unto this thy love thou did'st O Christ thou did'st suffer thy Fathers frowns that I might have his smiles thou did'st O Christ thou did'st drink up the dreggs of thy Fathers wrath even Vineger mingled with Gall that I might sweetly solace my self by drinking to thee the bottomless bottom of his endless love thou did'st O Christ my Saviour thou did'st bear all my sins that I might appear without sin thou did'st O Christ my Readeemer thou did'st shed all thy heart blood to wash me from the filthiness of my own blood and from the guilt of this thy blood shedding thou had'st O Christ thou had'st by face much more glorious then the Sun defaced with Spittle that mine might shine even as thine gloriously in glory though not so gloriously glorious thou had'st O Christ thou had'st thy body whipped that by thy stripes I might be healed thou wert O Christ thou wert thus wounded that by thy deadly wounds I might be ever Cured O love infinite and incomprehensible beyond degree an offended God dyes to set offending man free Ah Love that surpasseth all understanding ah goodness that surpasseth all love that wert in love mercy and goodness pleased to do this for me not when I was a friend but an enemy not when I was in Covenant with thee but when I was out of Covenant not when I loved thee but when I hated thee not when I was lovely but loveless not when I was holy but unholy not when I desired it but when I desired it not not for asking it but when I askt it not not for having done any thing for thee but even then when I did all that I could against thee not when I was thy Servant but a Servant of the Devils and all this O God my God that
know and to know feelingly in truth and sincerity that Jesus is the Christ our Christ and our Jesus to anoynt us and to sanctifie and save us to be unto us Wisdome Rightousnesse Justification and Redemption 20. O my soul my soul flye from all other knowledg that hinders this as from madness and folly as from mad folly and foolish madness brutishness and stupidity and choose to learn and learn to choose this one thing needfull that is to know Jesus Christ and him Crucified for thee for thee my soul and body in thy place and stead not with the knowledg of the letter but of the spirit for thus to know him is life yea life Eternal Eternal and Everlasting life 21. How willing Ah how willing is that soul that receives any thing from God to lay it out for him that is to give it unto others he would indeed be alwayes receiving and God and his own heart only knows how willing he is to be alwayes giving even as if he desired and begged for others and not for himself and as it s freely given him so doth he freely or would if he could freely give it unto others he will not Ah he will not he cannot consent to napkin it up or hide it he would be thus rich and wise and honourable but it is to do good works as it were to make others such when others are what they should be he praiseth God much on their behalf and rejoyceth with unspeakable joy for the glory of God is his only rejoycing he minds in some manner yet and often too more others welfare then his own because it seems to him that he cannot alone do what he would have done for his God therefore as soon as he receives this Heavenly treasure he desires to shew himself to be the Treasurer of Heaven to distribute it unto those that want that lack it that are hunger starved and when he meets with such and perceives and finds that they feed heartily and favour it Ah how doth he bless God for thus blessing him and them for thus using him as an instrument as his hand and mouth as it were to give unto them and to help their infirmityes but he gives it not as his own but as his Masters goods for he chargeth then strictly to account themselves Debtors to his Lord not to him for he alwayes to all acknowledgeth to have nothing but what he hath received he will by no means hide his light under a bushel but puts it on a Candlestick that it may be seen his only amibition is so to traffick with it that it may redound to his Masters profit and advantage that being he is certaine he shall ever have a well being that is be received into and ever to abide in the joy of his Lord yea into the Lord of his joy 22. Ah Lord empty my self of my self my heart of my own heart my affections of my own affections my thoughts of all my own thoughts that I may be filled with thee who fillest all Creatures with all the good things they enjoy be thou O Lord be thou all my all all my honour wisdome strength tiches pleasures life contentment and happy dayes for even then when I have all things and have thee not thou knowest O Lord that I have nothing for that I esteem them all even nothing at all but when I have thee Ah when I have thee I have all things that I would have that my soul desireth or can ask or crave 23. Give me but thy self O Lord O Lord give me but thy self and then give me what thou wilt to do to be or to suffer for thee I accept Ah I most willingly accept of it and promise for ever obedience unto it 24. Though I am unable unfit and cannot do what I would do yet most willingly I would and most unfainedly I do desire to do what I should do 25. O Lord I know that thou knowest all things and therefore I know that thou knowest how willingly I would and how much I desire to give thee all my life all my labour and all my love 26. For there is no other thing lovely or deserves to have our loves but that one thing thy Love O God O God thy Love thy Love 27. Ah what is all mans teachings and mans doings to that O God which by thy spirit thou teachest us to know and inablest us to do 28. If it be so sweet Ah if it be so sweet a thing to think of God and his wayes here on earth in the flesh so that all earthly sweets or earths sweets are made bitter by it unsavory and unwholsome Ah how wholsome savory and sweet is it to walk O Lord in all thy wayes to do all thy will and to enjoy thy self all as thou art in Heaven where thinking thoughts hoping desires and believing joyes shall be turned into possessing truths even true possession of all that ever we believed desired hoped or thought on yea it shall far surpass all the imaginations of our hearts of our desires or hopes being infinite and incomprehensible as well as Everlasting and Eternal 29. And when O God thou hast thus filled us here thou dost at times seem to us to be as the ebbing Sea goe back again but that we may not remaine comfortlesse thou comest again unto us into us even as the flood yea as the full Sea to shew us witness to us and assure us that there is no want decrease nor diminishing in thee but that thou art still the same full of bounty goodness love and willingness to do us all good much above what we can ask or think 30. There is Ah there is a most blessed Heaven to be had on this side Heaven even whilst we are on earth which is an assurance certain or a certain and a sure assurance of that Heaven of Heaven in Heaven and this some have alwayes within them at all times and places they enjoy this unspeakable joy but more fully sweetly and particularly at some times when they have a near Converse and Communion with God then are they as it were wrapt up in God and clothed with him and filled with him made meete and fitted by him then Ah then do they sing new songs of deliverance rejoycing with unspeakable joy that they are thus made free 31. That high Heaven above is to be had here below and we have it when though we are high in God yet we are low in our selves though we have our hearts high living in that Heaven above above all things here below yet our affections esteem and desire are alwayes weak dull and low to all these things here below yea much lower then the lowest of things 32. Ah did but our hearts well consider what is in Gods heart to give us and to do for us surely we should and we would do no other thing then wait upon him continually to hear what he would say unto us and do for
my inward man may be filled with the Spirit whether the body live or dye as for the bodies sake I care not though the body be hunger starved it shall for sure I am it will be well content if the Spirit be thus fed and filled with the presence breathings and Communion of thy Spirit t is not Ah Lord t is not thou well knowest the Quails and Mannah from Heaven nor thy body and blood corporally but spiritually that my Soul longeth for and my heart desireth aud panteth after so that it even fainteth for lack of it Ah give me that or else I dye I dye indeed corporally spiritually and eternally from which deaths O Lord by thine own death I trust I hope I believe and am confidently assured that thou hast delivered me and wilt deliver me by giving me this Heavenly food of thy holy Spirit to live in thee for thee and to thee here by grace and hereafter in glory this is my belief O Lord increase my Faith strengthen it and comfort it more and more by thine own Spirits living raigning and ruling in my heart by causing it willingly cheerfully and perseveringly to walk in thy waies doing thy will with sincerity integrity and uprightnesse in thought word and deed both towards thee and towards all men for ever and for ever 56. He that maketh wagers usually coveteth if not alwaies therefore surely its best to forbear 57. Ah Lord keep me from coveting any other thing than thy self and thy holy and blessed Spirit to teach me lead me direct me guide and govern me my heart and affections to walk in all thy holy waies and to keep all thy Commandments all my daies 58. For worldly covetings after the things of this World keep our thoughts hearts memories and affections from seeking with coveting desires the things of Heaven or Heavenly things 59. Let me covet thee O Lord ever ever But all things or any thing out of thee never 60. Let my Love be to love thee my delight to delight thee my care O Lord let it be to please thee my groanings to go after thee in thy wayes and let all my joyes be to rejoyce in thee and thy praise and to praise thee O Lord my Lord alalwies 61. Ah suffer me not in other to spend my daies But thus uprightly to walk in all thy waies 62. Covetings for the World makes the affections of the heart to affect the World but covetings for and after Heaven makes the heart and all the affections thereof to affect Heaven and the things in Heaven with a heavenly heart 63. Covetings for the World makes the heart earthly but covetings for Heaven makes the heart heavenly 64. Covetings after God makes the heart God-like according to his heart Covetings after any thing out of God or besides God makes the heart ungodly that is ungodlike and contrary to his heart 65. Couetings after the flesh makes the heart fleshly or a heart in the flesh Covetings after the Spirit makes the heart spiritual yea a heart living in Gods Spirit 66. I suppose that if a man love at times unlawfully lusting after strange flesh only with the flesh that is desires and would their Loves with the flesh but not with the will and mind which is the heart though the flesh saith yea and yields if the Spirit faith nay and yields not and doth much more ardently and vehemently desire and would not their Loves then the flesh doth and would their Loves and the Spirit that is their inward man would much rather have the hatred than their loves and hath sincere hatred and dislike to this Love by the flesh faithfully truly ardently and continually It is not he that sins but sin that dwelleth in him for though with his flesh he serve the Law of sin please the flesh yet he hates detests and abhors the evil which he doth and with his mind he serves the Law of God Gods Law is written in his heart and remains engraven still in the inner man on all his affections 67. As to me I willingly most willingly would if it might be love none but my God alone 68. True Lord true it is the outward man that is the flesh desireth and delighteth in the things of the flesh because it is fleshly as the inner man the heart of the soul and the soul of the heart and all the faculties thereof delighteth and rejoyceth in the things of the Spirit because it is spiritual 69. I have no Heaven here Lord because my Heaven is in thee And yet I have a Heaven Lord here because thou that art Heaven art here and in me 70. Above all keepings keep O Lord O Lord keep my heart my poor heart from sin from choosing delighting approving countenancing or maintaining sin 71. But this is not all no Lord no thou knowest it s to be thy servant to work thy work to do thy will not for my self as for thy self not for my praise applause or honour but for thine for I could not be satisfied though I had all I would have unlesse I do all that for which thou hast created me and appointed me to do 72. 'T is not Ah 't is not the Corn Wine and Oyl of the World the honours riches and pleasures thereof 't is not the honey of Earth but heavens honey that my Soul desireth to tast and ever to feed upon 73. If I had and were ever sure to have all the satisfaction that ever Creature had and I had thee not O my God for my Portion as I firmly believe I have I should and would account my self of all men on Earth the most miserablest 74. I would not give the part and Portion that I have at present in my God for all this Worlds good for all its honours riches and pleasures 75. Ah Lord how much nothing doth all things seem to be when compared to thee 76. Faith hope and Love in thee and for thee O Lord is more worth than all things else that can be given that is not of thee 77. Who is able or can expresse the satisfactions of that Soul unto whom thou hast given Love cordial faithful sincere and persevering Love to love thee 78. Ah how sweet a thing is it to serve the Lord Ah how pleasant and delightsome to walk alwaies in all his wayes and to do all his will willingly 79. Ah Lord my only grief and trouble is because I keep not thy Laws and for that I have not regard to thy Commandments as I would 80. Ah that I were even as a barren wildernesse to bear no fruit for my self and as a dry Spring to give no refreshment to my self to my own self that is my flesh Ah that I were as it were livelesse and lovelesse to my self â—hat I might only live to love and adore thee my God my God 81. What is my life or my self if it be not spent for thee and what are all my daies if I walk not only and
Devil had fewer Servants and thou O God who art all goodnesse had'st more that he were cast of by all and thy grace and favour accepted off that he were disowned and thou O God for ever owned to be only worthy to be believed in feared loved prized magnified and praised let these and a thousand-fold more of thanksgiving honour and glory be given unto thy most sacred and most glorious Name who art God of Gods and Lord of Lords the very and only true God blessed for ever and for ever Thus even thus O Lord I have taken on me through the guidance of thy good spirit to chatter a little as a Crane or a Swallow and to speak unto thee and of thee with a stammering tongue thou knowest how far short scant it is to what I might would and me thinks could speak if thou would'st be pleased to inable me to declare and shew forth what thou hast in love and mercy stablisht and rooted within me But in my weaknesse and scantnesse I trust O Lord thou wilt be large and by and with my little speak much to their hearts souls and Consciences unto whom I can speak but to the hearing of the eare and though I had the tongue of an Angel yet my words could not be effectual Paul could speak but to Lydias's eare it was the sweet charming voyce of thy holy spirit that spake to her heart and begat in her holy and Heavenly affections Pauls planting and Apollo's watering without thy blessing would be in vaine all mans all is nothing at all but emptinesse it is only thou O God that mad'st the soul that only canst satisfie the soul and thou who only art above Conscience that canst quiet the Conscience that thou wilt thus graciously and powerfully work on others hearts and lives with this thy gracious work of grace with which thou hast so richly and plentiously wrought on mine and in me are my hopes desires and hearty humble and affectionate prayers and for this end and to bring glory to thy Eternrl most holy and most glorious name I send it forth under the shadow of thy wings to be protected Ah Lord hear me and graciously answer me and do for me and all thine much more abundantly then I or they can ask or think according to the greatnesse of thy goodnesse and the goodnesse of thy greatnesse and all I humbly beg ask and crave in the name and for the sake and worthinesse of Jesus Christ the Righteous thy dear Son and my dear Saviour and Redeemer for whom my soul doth and shall ever praise thee and to him with thine own sacred holy divine and glorious Majesty and blessed spirit be now and alwayes given by me and all thine as all due is and to none else honour glory power might dominion and thanksgiving for ever and for ever Amen Amen so be it Lord so be it Amen and Amen IF then all this thou wilt receive Thou must thy self of all bereave Thou must thy self for ever loose If Christ thou wilt for ever choose And if this choyse thou here dost make Christ will thy soul never forsake For if thou dost to all sin dye Thou shalt with him live Eternally Where all his glory thou shalt see And live in him and he in thee Ye shall no more be two but one As is the Father and the Son Eke with the Holy Ghost all three Shall give themselves to live in thee Ah ' blessed gift and ' blessed life Where all is peace no war no strife Where time shall never wear away Where is no night but all is day Which day shall never have amend And all our work shall only tend To give God praise for all his love Who sits above all powers above Those three in one and one in three That blessed were are and shall be Beginning they had never none And therefore end shall not be known All time that 's past is with them present And that to come is never absent Therefore in them thou all shalt see That passed is and what 's to be Which shall thee fill with such great joy's That thou shalt still lift up thy voyce And with the Angels and blessed sing Praise to our God Praise to our King Let all praise honour and glory be given to God the God of all glory from whom I have received all that I have both to will and to do FINIS True love in loving God or loving God truely True love in loving ones self or loving ones self truly True love in loving ones Neighbours or loving ones Neighbours truly False love to God or loving God falsely False love to ones self or loving ones self falsely False love to our Neighbour or loving our Neighbour falsely Prov. 30. 6. Add thou not unto his words lest he reprove thee thou be found a lyar See here the uglinesse basenesse and vilenesse of sin A spiritual soul Looking-glass or a glass to see the soul whether it be Spiritual or Carnal See here in some little measure what heaven is and what hell is Gal. 3 27.
thy Soul that God censure thee not for it but convince thee and convert thee even as if thou wert a part of my very self and as if my well being did consist in thy well being for be thou what ever thou art though I hate thy sin and be offended at it yet I truly and in all faithfulness love thy self and thy Soul and would with my heart that it go so well with thee as it doth through the free Grace Love and Mercy of God in Jesus Christ with me And I shall continue to contend with God in the behalf of thy Soul ann the pardon of thy sins as for my own I know what it is to be a great sinner and I also know through the infinite and incomprehensible Love of God what it is to be washed cleansed pardoned justified sanctified and saved from all sin and to be in Christ without spot or wrinckle undefiled And therefore I cannot in humility I speak it but as God love all Souls with true and unfeigned Love heartily praying and desiring that none might perish but that all might come to partake of everlasting life to enjoy for ever those heart and Soul ravishing joyes that God hath prepared and laid up for all those that truly love him I intend not to speak anything touching the method nor to crave the excuse of any for any thing that may not savour with them I know from whom I have received it and he I am sure will patronize and protect it and blesse it in some measure I hope unto all that shall read it but whatever successe it find I shall find I am sure all that I seek for which is peace within during this life and honour glory and immortality in the World to come which good Lord grant for Christ his sake unto all those that love thee and wait for thine appearing And thus dear hearts I leave you to the guidance of the good Spirit of the Lord to direct you in all your thoughts and words that they and all your actions as well as mine may be now and alwaies acceptable in his sight who is our strength and our Redeemer to him who is able to keep you from the hour of temptation and to preserve you blamelesse until the hour of his coming I commit and commend you Remaining In London Anno 1654. IN the Name of the most Holy Glorious and Blessed Trinity God the Father God the Son and God the Holy Ghost one God blessed for ever to whom be given and ascribed as all due is and to none else Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving by me and by the whole world of his Elect Now and for ever more Amen Amen So be it Lord so be it THomas Arundell the poorest vilest basest and most unworthiest of all the servants of the living God altogether unworthy of that most Worthy Glorious and Right Honourable Title but trusting on his mercy and Free Grace to be made worthy through the merits and worthiness of Jesus Christ and in him to be accounted worthy Doth in all humility of heart most humbly beg and implore his Divine Majesty in Jesus Christ to inspire bless and assist him with his holy Spirit that he may here following set down only the sincere breathings and longings of his soul in truth and sincerity of heart and that he may grow daily from one degree of grace unto another from step to step untill he come to that height and fulness of measure of holiness appointed by God in Jesus Christ who is the fountain the Ocean and the fulness of all happiness and blessedness being God equal with the Father Blessed for ever and ever A Prayer O Most Holy most Glorious Eternal Incomprehensible Lord God full of Grace and Truth Maker and Giver of all things both in heaven and in earth from all eternity unto all eternity thou art and there is none besides thee God blessed for ever and ever Thou givest O Lord freely fully and continually and art never weary nor repentest all our springs are in thee and from thee thou canst not increase nor diminish whatever is done for or against thee Ah Lord my God give me so much of thy self as I may be like unto thee in all things by grace here and in glory hereafter that I may stedfastly faithfully heedfully carefully and circumspectly do thy whole and holy will on earth untill I come to glorifie thy Name in heaven O Lord conform my will unto thy most holy and most blessed will that I may serve and please thee by all my thoughts words and actions not turning a side to the right hand of pleasures or to the left hand of profits Let thy most holy and most blessed Spirit teach me lead me guide me and so direct and govern me that the thoughts of my heart the words of my mouth and the works of my hands may be now and alwaies acceptable in thy sight O Lord my strength and my Redeemer O Lord that searchest all hearts and triest the reins pondering all our actions be pleased in Jesus Christ to look down upon me poor vile sinfull dust and ashes the greatest of sinners and the very worst of the worst of men and for his sake wash away all my iniquities and purge me from all my sins and my transgressions known or unknown secret or revealed past present and to come and for the merits of that most dear and pretious blood of thy dear and only Son which was I believe shed for me on the Cross. O Lord grant that I may appear blamelesse and spotlesse before thy throne of Grace and Justice at all times when I come before thee that thou maiest have delight in me and in all the works of my hands and maiest according to thy good promise graciously hear and answer my petitions and requests which I most humbly and unfeignedly desire may be framed in my heart by thy holy Spirit that they may be according to thy holy mind and will and finde acceptation through the mediation and merits of thy dear only and beloved Son Jesus Christ the Righteous And grant O most mercifull and loving Father in Jesus Christ my Redeemer that I may set down from time to time the only Dictates of thy holy and most blessed Spirit unto my poor soul not any head notions but my very hearts frame and only desires and motions that they may both then and ever after refresh rejoyce glad and comfort me and cause me to bring forth fruit to newness and amendment of life for the honour and glory of thy great Name and grant that I may ever renounce all merit or worthiness in my self for the very least of all thy mercies no not for the crumbs that fall by thy providence from the childrens table Sure I am the more light I have from thee O Lord my God I shall the better and clearer see my own darknesse the more I have of thy wisdom the better I
us both abide and let me dwell in thee 163. Let it never seperated be from thee nor me but of two let us be made one and never more be alone 164. My whole desire O Lord is to do thy will it is to thee and to remember thee 165. O Lord lead me by thy holy and blessed Spirit that I may never be led astray 166. Let me not O Lord do any thing by my self as for my self but all things by thy self and for thy self 167. Be thou alwayes with me that I may never be without thee O most holy and blessed Spirit my Sanctifier that I may be all and alwayes sanctified 168. Let me love thee O Lord more for thy service sake then for my souls sake 169. Let me desire and long for Heaven more to do thy will then to have my will 170. O Lord if thou wert not in Heaven I would not desire Heaven but my desire should be to be with thee 171. O Lord let the same desires be in me whilst I am on earth as shall be in me when I am in Heaven 172. The desire of my heart and soul O Lord thou knowest is only to thee and for thee and to be alwayes guided by thee 173. Increase this holy desire in me O Lord untill my soul and body shall be filled with thy blessed fulness 174. O sweet Jesus dwell in me ever and goe not out of me never for when I have thee Lord I have all that I desire and crave 175. I am most willing and ready to loose my life to preserve thee O Lord but not to preserve my life to loose thee 176. O Lord what thou hast given me which is all take when thou wilt and in what manner thou wilt 177. Make O Lord thine own Conditions with me I will make none with thee but to obey thee and serve thee on thine own terms 178. Teach me O Lord to know my self as thou knowest me and to hate my self for sin as thou lovedst me when I was in my sin 179. I desire to hate sin as the Devil to fear sin as Hell and to fly from sin as from thy wrath O great God 180. With thee I desire to leave and give my self O sweet Jesus receive me and accept of me 181. O Lord go with me where I am to go that I may be alwayes with thee never from thee nor do any thing without thee 182. O Lord let me only do what thou consentest unto 183. I fear sin much more then the Author of sin 184. Sin is my worst my greatest and my strongest Enemy 185. Give me Grace and strength O sweet Jesus to Conquer sin and I shall not fear all other Enemies 186. Had I but one sin unforgiven and thou should'st O Lord make me my own Iudge I should and could not do other wayes then condemne my self for ever into Hell 187. I desire ever to magnifie Laud praise and extoll thy glorious name O Lord God for making Iesus Christ my Iudge whom thou hast appointed also to be my advocate 188. Were I to choose I would choose no other for both 189. For sure I am I cannot loose my cause if he plead it nor be condemned he Iudging me who was Iudged and condemn'd for me 190. He dyed for me and therefore I shall not see that death 191. He hath paid my ransome and therefore I must be acquitted 192. He hath suffered and therefore I shall ever raign 193. He wore a Crown of Thornes that I might ever weare a Crown of Eternall and incomprehensible weight of Glory 194. He is risen and hath led Captivity Captive that I might be delivered for ever out of all Captivity 195. He is ascended up on high and therefore I am sure he will lift me unto him 196. He is gone to prepare a place for me therefore I am sure I shall be for ever well plac'd 197. He is sate down on the right hand of God and hath convinc'd and Conquer'd all my accusers and enemies therefore I shall in quiet rest and perfect peace sit down with him and by him 198. He hath all power and Authority given him by God therefore I am sure no power shall or can hurt me 199. He hath provided a place for all his Children and Servants therefore I will not be afraid nor fear 200. He hath promised and he is faithfull therefore I will believe and not doubt but rejoyce 201. O Lord let me fear nothing but thee nor love â—othing but thy feare 202. My love O Lord to thee is surely thy 〈…〉 203. O Lord put the vaile of thy fear before my eyes and my heart that I may not sin against thee by neâ—ther 204. Ah Lord God suffer me never more to doubt of thy love seeing thou hast so freely and willingly given the Son of thy love even thy dear only eldest naturall and beloved Son Jesus Christ to dye for me and in my place and stead 205. Ah sweet Jesus Be thou pleased so to take up thy aboad in my heart and to dwell there as I may alwayes find thee there to comfort me and to direct me how to walk well pleasing unto thee let me always hear thee speaking to me how I shall do every thing I take in hand to do so that all my thoughts words and deeds may tend only to thy honour and glory the Credit of the Gospel the good of others and the eternall Salvation of mine own soul. 206. Ah Lord give me grace in all afflictions to consider that its much less then I deserve and that thou mightest justly have sent them on me sooner 207. Hell O Lord I confess is only my desert what less thou givest me is more then I have or can deserve and less punishment then the least of my sins hath deserved 208. Therefore in all Conditions I desire to bless thy name and to praise thee with a thankfull contented and rejoycing heart 209. Le O Lord all thy afflictions teach me and tell me that thou art mindfull of me and that they are friendly yea Fatherly Visitations and tokens of thy Fatherly true love in Iesus Christ. 210. O Lord suffer me not to sell my portion in Heaven for any Portion of earth on earth the honours riches or pleasures thereof 211. Let even this Portion thy service and work O God be preferred by me and be dearer to me then all things of this world 212. A Christian once in Christ united to him cannot be taken out of him no more then the same water cast into the Sea can be taken out again for he is become a part of Christ even as the drops that fall into the Sea are forthwith a part thereof 213. Seeing then thou hast made me one with thee received me a little drop into thy self the Ocean of blessedness and of all goodness happiness and felicity My sweet Jesus I am sure I shall never be separated from thee 214. Let me O God so live the
remainder of all my life here on earth as that thou maiest not be ashamed to be called my God and to give me eternall life hereafter in Heaven 215. O sweet glorious and glorified Iesus inhabiting Eternity from all Eternity look not on me as I am in my self without thee but as one in thee even as a member of thy blessed self 216. Love me O Lord God with thine own love even with that love in Iesus Christ wherewith thou lovest thine own 217. When O Lord I have thee though alone I have what I desire yea and all that I desire for thou art all and the only desire of all my desires 218. Give me O Lord thy self though without any thing else and I will never ask thee any thing else 219. But though thou dost O God give me all things else and not thy self I shall account it even as nothing 220. Having thee alone My dear Iesus I have all things and having not thee I have nothing that I truly love 221. Give me then thy self and that shall content me but unless thou dost give me thy self I am resolved never to be contented 222. Give me then so thy self O Lord who art my delight as I may do all things by thee and nothing at all without thee 223. Give me so thy blessed self as I may alwayes enjoy thee beholding thy glorious face and the light of thy blessed Countenance and may hear thy most sweet and comfortable voyce to comfort revive and refresh me 224. Be thou O Lord mine all and let me be thine all 225. Though I much fear and would not commit any sin yet I am not at all afraid of all the sins I have committed 226. Though I know that God hates all sins yet I much rejoyce that I was made a sinner 227. Though I know that God justifies the ungodly yet I would not be ungodly 228. Though I know that grace doth abound more then sin yet I would not sin that grace may abound 229. Did I doubt of the pardon of my sins to have their pardon I would not choose willingly to commit one sin 230. Ah Lord do not only pardon all my sins but give me grace to sin no more 231. Let me O Lord be as unwilling to live in sin as to dye in sin 232. Let me fear as much the committing of any sin as the punishment of all my sins I have committed fear sin before committed as the punishment after committed yea fear sin more then the punishment of sin choose the punishment and not sin rather then sin and have no punishment 233. Let me hate sin most because it is sin and therefore most to be hated 234. Let me hate sin as much after pardoned as before and before committed as after 235. Let me O Lord hate sin as thou lovest a sinner that would not sin 236. Let me be O Lord as unwilling to commit sin as thou art willing to pardon them when committed 237. Let me even be as unwilling to commit any sin as thou O Lord art willing to pardon all sins 238. Let me O Lord die to all sin that I may live to all grace 239. Though O Lord I know that thou pardonest all sins and transgressions yet suffer me not willingly to choose or commit any sin nor consent to any Transgression 240. Let sin dye that grace may live Let grace live that sin may dye 241. Let sin dye in me that thou mayest O Lord live in me 242. Let me dye to sin that I may O Lord live to thee 243. Let me O Lord dye to sin whilst I live that I may not dye in sin when I am dead 244. Let me O Lord so dye here to sin that I may not dye hereafter for sin 245. O Lord let me so dye as I may not dye Eternally 246. Let sin O Lord be rooted out of me that I may be rooted in thee and thou in me my sweet and saving Iesus 247. Let me O Lord be so rooted in thee as I may never be rooted out of thee 248. Let me Lord take such deep root That I may bring forth much fruit 249. Let my root be such in thee That my fruit be much to me Let my fruit be such to thee That the fruit be like the Tree 250. Let O Lord my death to sin appear by the appearance of the life of grace 251. Let me O Lord so live as I may never dye but to sin 252. Let me O Lord so live to thee here as I may ever live with thee and in thee hereafter 253. Were not thy work O God the work of my Salvation yet would I prefer it and do it before that of my Salvation A Prayer AH most blessed Incomprehensible and Eternall Lord God Glorious in Holiness fearfull in Praises doing wonders the Heavens are not pure in thy sight and yet thou art gratiously pleased in Jesus Christ to look down and to dwell in poor man who is sinfull Dust and Ashes thou livest only in the highest Heavens and in the lowest hearts the one is thy Kingdome of Glory the other of thy grace good Lord make my heart so low in my own esteem as it may be so high in thine that thou may'st make it thy delight to dwell in it for even Ah Lord when I consider all that thou hast done for me and all that I have done against thee I am ashamed and confusion seems to cover my face as a vaile having O Lord transgrest all thy holy and just Lawes and broken wilfully willingly knowingly and presumptuously all thy Divine Commandements from the first to the last from the greatest to the least as well by Commission as Omission as well by actuall sin as Originall sin knowingly as well as ignorantly both wilfully and willingly on thy dayes as well as on our dayes in thy house as in other houses in doing thy work as in doing my own work in duties as well as out of duties praying sins reading sins meditating sins Sermon sins and Sacrament sins so that my repentance must be repented off and my Prayers Prayed against even my sighs and groans have need of tears to wash them and my very tears of doubled tears How Lord have I made thy holy things unholy unto my self and turned thy graces into wantonness and quencht the motions of thy holy Spirit by wilfulness how Lord have I treasured up wrath against the day of wrath unto my poor soul and made thee a savour of death unto it when thou comest as a Savour of life how have I Lord hated to be reformed and turned from thee when thou camest running towards me in love and in mercy how have I cast thy promises behind my back and trampled thy precepts under my feet how many times have I broken my Promises Vows and Covenants made with thee in my straights with how much more eagerness and earnestness have I served my sinfull Lusts then thee in thy services my good Lord
Million of Millions in the body and spirit whom we shall know indeed that they love him indeed and in death 3. If men then on earth delight our sences Ah how shall God in Heaven with delight ravish our hearts 4. Ah Lord let me then still so have thee within me though on earth that I may say with Jacob I have all 5. If men on earth be able to give great gifts and their gifts be so greatly esteemed though but earth Ah how greatly should we esterm that great gift of that great God when he gives us himself who is as good as great and as great as good 6. If earthly joyes do then somtimes rejoyce a Heavenly heart Ah Lord how shall and how doth that heart rejoyce when he is filled with Heavenly joyes yea when he shall be involv'd taken in and swallowed up into the joyes of Heaven 7. And if momentary earthly joyes can give us joy any moment surely Eternal Heavenly joyes shall make us to rejoyce evermore 8. And if hope fill us with joy unspeakable surely fruition shall make us flow over with fulness 9. And if the thoughts of what we know not satisfie us so much surely when we shall know them to be sure we shall be fully satisfied 10. And if faith in believing be so great as it brings Salvation Ah how great shall that Salvation be when it shall be above and beyond that is moâ—e then faith 11. And if to do the will of God on earth imperfectly delight the soul so much that there 's no delight to him like it he preferrs it above his daily food and all other delights in the flesh Ah what delight shall that soul have in Heaven where he shall alwayes and perfectly do his whole and holy perfect will 12. And if God be so well pleased with us here for our weak and imperfect desires after grace Ah how well pleased will he be with us when he shall have made our imperfect grace full and perfect Glory 13. And if God delight so much in us whilst we are here below imperfect and sinners Ah how much and how greatly will he delight in us above when he shall have made us holy and perfect Saints 14. And if our Joys be so great to see God here and his glory darkly as in a glasse with fleshly eies Ah how great shall our joy be to see him gloriously and all his glory in Heaven face to face with spiritual eyes yea with the eyes of his own Holy Spirit 15. And if our Joys be so great to hear of him here with the hearing of the ears Ah how great shall they be to be with him hereafter and to hear himself with an understanding heart 16. And if then our Joys be so great to enjoy him here on earth and but in part imperfectly Ah how great shall our joys and delights he to enjoy him in Heaven not in part but in perfection perfectly fully wholly and holy as he is 17. And if our Joys be so great here on earth in the midst of fears Ah how great shall they be in Heaven where we need fear no fears for that there are no fears there to fear 18. And if our Joys be here on earth so great though surrounded with many sorrows Ah how great shall they be in Heaven when and where all sorrows shall be all done away and turned into fulnesse of joy 19. And if our Joyes be so great among so many displeasing displeasures even here on earth Ah how great shall they be in Heaven when and where all displeasures shall be all done away and our pleasures shall be for ever more 20. Ah fill me then O my good God with thy blessed most blessed self and thy Joys alone that in thee only I may rejoyce 21. If the nether Springs on earth be so sweet Ah how delitious and sweet yea sweetly delitious O God are the upper Springs of Heaven in Heaven 22. If thy left-hand mercies O God be so delightful and do so much delight and please us Ah how much more shall those of thy right-hand delight us with pleasure 23. If his foot-stool favours be so great and we esteem our selves greatly favoured by them to have them Ah how great in favour yea what great favourites shall we be when we shall enjoy in Heaven the favours of his Throne and fit on Thrones by him 24. If to see a glimpse of his glory beauty and brightnesse here on earth do so ravish us with delight joy and admiration so as we could and would alwaies be content to behold it Ah how then shall our hearts be ravisht with that ravishing fulnesse of his bright beautiful glory when we shall in Heaven behold all his glory as he is in his Kingdom of glory with all his glorious Saints and Angels from whose beautiful brightnesse and glory they have all their glorious brightnesse and beauty and are made thus gloriously beautiful with surpassing beauty and glory being in all things made like unto him 25. If then his glory be so sweet in the bud what is it in the branch but Ah then how much greater and sweeter is the Tree that hath so many branches 26. If then so great and sweet on earth Ah how greatly great and sweet in Heaven 27. And if our delights be so great in seeking thee O God here below on earth Ah how incomprehensibly great shall they and will they be when we shall have found thee where thou art above in Heaven 28. And seeing O God thou givest us such wages here whilst we offend thee Ah how great shall they be yea what is there but thou wilt give us when we shall offend thee no more but alwaies please thee 29. And seeing our Heaven is so sweet on earth or our earthly heaven so sweet which is but to see thy back part by Faith darkly as in a glasse Ah how sweet yea how much sweeter shall our heavenly Heaven be or our Heaven in Heaven which is to know thee as thou art O God to be known and see the clearly and plainly even face to face 30. And seeing thy love O God is so great to us here as it constraineth us to love thee Ah how great shall it be to us there when without constraint our greatest joy and pleasure shall be to adore and love thee 31. Ah Lord God that knowest my heart thou knowest that all the desires of my heart yet that the soul of my soul and the heart of my heart desires to love the only and to serve the with all my whole heart 32. If thy name O Lord be so great and fearful unto those that know thee and that know that thou lovest them Ah how fearfully great and greatly fearful shall it be unto those that know thee not but yet know thy greatnesse and how greatly thou hatest them 33. All Glory only Glory and continually Glory be given unto God the God and giver of all gifts grace and
wounded heart give life to the dead heart give the grace of faith unto the doubting heart and of hope unto the despairing heart speak peace O Lord unto the disconsolated and afflicted heart give understanding memory sence and reason unto the distracted heart and those amongst them whom thou dost intend O Lord and hast appointed to take unto thy self let them see thine arms of love in mercy open and ready to receive them let them hear O Lord thy sweet and comfortable voyce speaking peace unto their fouls and saying Sons and Daughters be of good cheer your sins are forgiven you wash them O Lord with thy most dear and most pretious blood and sanctifie them with thy holy spirit of grace that they may appear spotless and unblameable before thee whiter then Snow purer then Wooll finer the Gold and brighter then the Sun and make them O Lord more then Conquerors and those O Lord whom thou dost intend to restore unto their former health and strength give them grace to lead new lives and to become new Creatures that others seeing their good works may glorifie thee O God our Heavenly Father in Jesus Christ. Ah Lord God look with much mercy I humbly beseech thee upon all those every where that suffer for the peace of a good Conscience because they will not sin against thy truth keep them O Lord as the apple of thine eye that nothing come nigh to hurt them nor to affright them let them depend on thy mercyes fear thy judgments and lay hold on thy gratious promises give them O Lord courage and strength to fight that good fight and to run that good race that thou hast set before them that they may be alwayes willing and ready to give up their lives unto the death and then from thee O Lord they may receive the Crown of Eternal life And those O Lord that suffer for an evil Conscience because they have sinned against thy truth let them not alwayes mourn as men and women without hope but poure down O Lord in much love and mercy poure down thy holy and blessed spirit the Comforter into their hearts that may speak peace unto their souls even that peace that passeth all understanding let not the Mountains of their sins O Lord nor the Rocks of unbelief hinder thy mercyes from coming down out of Heaven into their Hearts nor their prayers from ascending up unto thee by faith but cause them O Lord to know that thou art a God pardoning all iniquities transgressions and sins yea all Blasphemyes wherewith they have blasphemed Ah Lord shew them the light of thy gratious and glorious Countenance and lead them in the way everlasting that they may never more swerve nor goe astray from thy Divine and holy Commandements Bless O Lord all that are travelling by Sea or by land and bring them to their Ports and places in safety defend them from all Pyrats and Robbers that seek to do them hurt or wrong and from all other perils and dangers pitch thy tents O Lord round about them and keep them even as thou keepest thine own And lastly O Lord I most humbly and heartily beg and beseech thee in Jesus Christ to pardon and forgive all mine Enemies all the world over love them O Lord that hate me bless them that curse me do good to them that seek to do me evil forget and forgive all that they have done or would have done against me change their hearts from evil unto good that they may no longer walk after the deceitfulness of their own evil hearts but may do all things for the time to come in truth and sincerity according to thine own heart O Lord God that thou mayest own them for thy own and give them hearts O Lord to forgive me whom I have wronged whether it have been in thought word or deed either unto high or low rich or poor young or old and grant O Lord that I may fear and do so no more but as thou hast been unto me a sin-pardoning God so I beseech thee be unto me a sin-preventing God that I may not as the Dog return to his Vomit nor as the Sow to her wallowing in the mire againe but that I may alwayes henceforth set thee O Lord before mine eyes and be attent unto the motions of thy holy spirit and never to forget thy exceeding boundful and mercyful dealings towards me and that love in Jesus Christ wherewith thou hast loved me and that I may remember that it is impossible for those who were once enlightned and have tasted of the Heavenly gift and were made partakers of the Holy-Ghost and have tasted the good word of God and the powers of the world to come if they shall fall away to renew them again unto Repentance seeing they Crucifie to themselves the Son of God afresh and put him to open shame for if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledg of the truth there remaineth no more sacrifice for sin but a certain fearfull looking for of Judgment and fiery indignation which shall devour the adversaries for having Lord by thy grace and mercy escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledg of the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ grant that I may not again be intangled therein and overcome and so my latter end prove worse if worse it can be then was my beginning Ah Lord God should such be my case which God forbid it would be much better for me that I had never known the way of Righteousness then after the knowledg of it to turn from thy holy Commandements delivered unto me Ah Lord God my Lord and my God in Jesus Christ thou knowest my weakness frailty and impotency that I cannot of my self as of my self think a good thought that I am prone to all evil and averse to all good to will indeed is many times present but how to perform I know not there is still O Lord God a law in my members warring against the law of my mind and leading me Captive into the law of sin Ah Lord when when O Lord when shall that time come and that blessed most blessed and glorious day dawn and appear in my heart that the root and branch of sin be totally rooted up and utterly destroyed and grace confirmed grow up more and more until I come to be a perfect man in Christ Jesus that I may still more and more hate the evil which I do and love the good which I do not and cannot do that it may be no longer I that sin but sin that dwelleth in me and that by the assistance of thy grace and holy spirit I may walk well pleasing before thee doing thy work and thy will here on earth as it is done in Heaven living the life of grace here and of glory hereafter the life of the Righteous that I may dye their death Ah Lord give thy self to me that I may give my self to thee live in me
would have an Eternal weight of glory there must be content and rejoyce under Eternal ignominy here 130. He that would have all things with others there must be willing to do all things for others here 131. He that would have Christ for his Jesus there to save him must believe in him as his Jesus Christ here that is as the way the truth and the life unto Eternal life 132. He that would have him there his advocate to plead his sinful bad case must here plead for and in behalf of his blessed good case 133. He that would have him as a judg to acquit him there must judge and condemne himself here 134. And he that would not be condemn'd with the world there must not with the world and as the world doth live here 135. And he that would not be cast out with Reprobates there must have no Communication or Conversation with them here 136. And he that would not be of the number of the Devils Goats there must come unto Christs flock and be of his fold and of his sheep here 137. And he that would live with the Righteous there must labour after holiness and Righteousness here 138. And he that would be sure to die their death to put it out of all doubt must live their life 139. And he that would enter into his Masters and Lords joy there must be the joy of his Lord and Master here that is his well doing good and faithfull Servant 140. Seeing then that these things O Lord shall surely be make me through grace such a person as I ought to be 141. Now seeing that holiness is Heaven and Heaven is holiness Ah Lord make me all holy that I may be all Heavenly let holiness alwayes dwell within me that Heaven may be alwayes within me and that I may be alwayes in Heaven 142. And seeing O Lord that our desire chiefly to be in Heaven is to be free from all sin and to be holy as thou art holy Ah let me labour for and long after holiness on earth yea and to be so holy that though I am on earth I may be also in Heaven and Heaven in me 143. And seeing that the more holy we are the more heavenly we are and the more like unto thee O most heavenly and most holy Lord God that is throughout holy in Spirit Soul and Body grant that though I am here below on earth and earth I may in holinesse be like unto thee above who art in Heaven and art Heaven 144. Ah Lord God that hast fitted and prepared Heaven for me prepare me for it that I may enjoy thee all who art my all and my only Joy 145. And seeing none shall enjoy thee in Heaven but those that enjoy thee on Earth Ah Lord let me so enjoy thee here that I may long to be dissolved for ever to enjoy thee there yet not for mine own sake only but for thine own sake good Lord. 146. Ah Lord let my joy be so full of thee here on Earth as I may alwaies long to be filled with thy fulnesse of joy in Heaven and to enjoy fully those pleasures that are there at thy right hand and shall endure for ever more 147. Yet O Lord I humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ to make me still patient to wait untill my blessed change shall come and that I may alwaies say thine O Lord thine and not my will be done 148. Ah come Lord Jesus come when thou wilt and as thou wilt either at midnight or at the Cock crowing for though I do long for thy coming to take me hence unto thy self yet I would rather O Lord thou knowest that I had rather abide here to do thy will and for thy sake on earth then to leave thy will undone and to be in Heaven for my one sake 149. Ah Lord my Lord and my God I confesse that thou hast in the abundance of thy goodnesse love and mercy done so much for me in bringing me out of Hell and assuring me of Heaven that even all that I can imagine to do to lose or to suffer is so little so too too little as I could wish yea and do wish that I could do more and suffer more to witnesse that my little will is great or desires and would be great willingly 150. Ah Lord I know and am well assured that thy goodnesse is so great and thy greatnesse so good for the sake of my soul that my soul longeth to be great in goodnesse to do great good things for thy great goodnesse sake 151. Ah Lord God seeing what thou hast done for me is to assure me of thine Eternal Love and Mercy in Jesus Christ give me I beseech thee grace that I may not turn thy gifts of grace into wantonnesse but for this thy Love wherewith thou hast loved me grant that it may be a strong and firm obligation unto me to depend upon thy Love and to be assured that thou wilt continue to do as thou hast begun that is continually continue to love me 152. For seeing none but thy self O Lord could do the things that thou hast done that is to love me such a lovelesse yea vile wretch as I am in my self I will therefore be bold to say surely the Lord will ever love me because he doth thus love me and hath ever loved me thus 153. Ah suffer me not then O Lord God holy just and true to depart from thee by setting up any other God in my heart or my heart to love choose or esteem any other good than thy self who art only good all good and able only to do me all good and to make me to do all good 154. Ah Lord God in thine own good time accomplish and finish the good which thou hast begun to work in me by causing me to depart from all evil 155. And suffer me not I humbly beseech thee for thine own great holy and dear name sake to go astray from those holy holy holy waies which thou hast set before me and written with the finger of thine own Spirit on my heart 156. But grant O Lord that my Soul may continually be ravisht with the pleasantnesse of them and to delight to sit alwaies under the shadow of thy branches for thou knowest O Lord thou right wel knowest how sweet and delightful the fruit of thy Word and the knowledge of thy waies is to the tast of my Soul 157. And therefore and to praise thee doth my Soul long to come into thy house to behold thy beauty and thy glory as in thy Sanctuary and to hide my self under the shadow of thy wings that no evil may come nigh me to hurt me 158. Ah Lord thou that hast wrought in me holy desires to do thy whole and holy will give me grace to teach and instruct others and to tell them how willing thou art to teach all sinners to come out of their sins and to direct them how to walk wel pleasing
unto thee and to lead them by the hand that they slip not 159. Ah Lord suffer me not to do as do the men of the World to labour to heap up and gather these things that profit not and to leave behind me much of these low earthly outward things that endure but for a season but let me rather cast off these garments bespotted in the flesh and follow thee naked and gather up and distribute those true and heavenly riches which shall make the Soul glad and rich and honourable for ever that my heirs may be heirs of Heaven and not of earth 160. Ah Lord Let all the Worlds all be all unto me as I was unto thee when in it and of it even as a menstruous cloth and my all not worth any thing at all 161. Ah Lord suffer me not to mind earth any more with an earthly but with a heavenly mind and that my heart my be alwaies there where my true only and everlasting treasure is and that I may live in the World as if I were not of the World and use these things below as low things even as if I used them not 162. Ah Lord suffer me not to mind these things my self which I teach and labour to have others forget and not to mind and so save them but perish my self 163. Ah Lord full of grace give me grace to shew forth unto all that all my covetings ambition and longings are for the things above and not for these things here below and that these things here are fit and only fit for such as have their heatts and affections here 164. Ah Lord sure yea most sure it is that those that are risen with thee will seek the things that are above even where thou fittest at the right hand of God and that those that do it not are not yet risen but lye dead in the grave of their sins 165. Ah Lord suffer not the World to deceive any that their Souls may not be deceived and they perish for ever in their sins 166. But bring them all home Ah Lord bring them all home unto thy self and betroth them all to thy self here by grace that thou dost intend to marry unto thy self hereafter in glory 167. Ah Lord I confesse it is not my study nor my care nor yet my careful study nor my studious care that teacheth me wisdom so as to know thee or to learn what thou knowest but it is thy self O Lord it is thy self that givest me that wisdom to know thy self and learning to know what thou knowest for who but thy self hath that wisdom to know thy self or learning in himself from himself to learn what thou O Lord God knowest 168. Ah teach me then so O my good God that art Israels teacher that I may tell henceforth Devil World and flesh that I will no more be taught by them nor follow their teachings 169. I Know O Lord I know that the teachings of men no nor all mens teachings are not able to teach me to know any good but I know that thy teachings O God are able to teach me all good and how to do all good 170. I will rejoyce therefore in what my God can do because he can and therefore I know assuredly that he will do all the things for me that shall be for my good 171. And therefore I will not fear what men can do against me no nor Devils neither for they all can do nothing at all that can hurt me 172. But all my fear shall alwaies be to fear thee O Lord who art my Lord and my fear for to fear thee truly bringeth me true joy yea unspeakable joy 173. For to fear thee as we ought fear thee is to keep thy Commandments to keep thy Commandments with fear is the whole duty of man 174. Ah Lord God I know that thou dost not hear us for our words sake because they are but the words of men nor for our work sake because they are but mens works nor for our own sake because we have forsaken thee but for thy great names sake which is thy self and therefore for thine own sake O Lord I know that thou dost only hear us 175. Ah Lord my Lord my God and my all and my only good Let me alwaies so speak unto thee by thee as thou maiest alwaies hear me and so hear thee as I may alwaies love and fear thee yea make thee all my fear and my love 176. The Spirit of the Lord or the fruits of the Lords Spirit is love joy peace longsuffering gentleness goodness faith meekness temperance lowlinesse of mind humble patient bountiful and rich in good works forgiving and forgetting all injuries and wrongs beareth reproaches and scandals rejoycingly doth hurt nor violence to no man eschueth all evil and followeth hard after all good with full purpose of heart and endeavours of life serving the Lord constantly frequentâ—y circumspectly obediently willingly chearfully rejoycingly and perseveringly hath peace with all men loveth all men with brotherly kindnesse and doth all good possible to all men especially unto those that are of the household of Faith 177. He that hath the Spirit of the Lord he is faithful and valiant for the Lord fighting his battels couragiously cheerfully gladly rejoycingly and perseveringly unto his lives end he doth not his work negligently nor slothfully but diligently and willingly for his work is his delight his meat and drink yea his Heaven on Earth is to do his Lords will on Earth as it is done in Heaven he desireth no other wages for his work than his work he would continually do his work for his works sake for his yoak is easie to him and his burthen light 178. He that hath the Spirit of the Lord abiding in him he is no tale bearer tatler or busie body he medleth not in other mens matters condemneth no man hateth no man wrongeth no man doth violence to no man speaketh evil of no man thinketh evil of no man but alwaies worst of himself 179. He that dwelleth with Gods Spirit dwelleth quietly and peaceably because all things are to him all alike for he knoweth that all things come from God his God that his Providence ordereth all things and therefore he knoweth that all things shall alwaies work altogether for his good yea his very sins which God hateth and only hateth and which he himself hateth above all things and more than all things yet these are not for his worse but for his better and for the increase of his joy comfort and rejoycing in the Lord who bringeth him out of darknesse into light and turnerh his evil into good for God is now become his God and his Father and loveth him as his Son and therefore will not see his iniquities nor transgressions but passeth by all his sins looking on him not as a pardoned sinner but as a son that never sinned God seeth his best but will not see his worst his good but not his hatred
holy will here on earth as it is done in Heaven and would be as willingly Sanctified as Glorified this his imperfection causeth him to long for perfection and this his holiness in part to long to be dissolved to enjoy for ever perfect holiness but though he be thus tossed on the restless waves of tentation tryal and affliction this spirit of God that dwelleth and abideth in him assureth him that all these things are tokens of Gods love and come from him in love and therefore he is content for that he knowes that his Lord and Master Christ Jesus is touched with the feeling of his infirmities and was in all points like unto him yet without sin 186. This spirit comforts him when he is comfortless and binds up his broken heart heals his wounded heart visits his sick heart gives feeling to his senceless heart life to his dead heart faith to his doubting heart hope to his dispairing heart speaks peace to his disconsolated and afflicted heart and gives understanding sence memory and reason unto his distracted heart 187. He that hath this spirit he is grieved to see Christ dishonoured by any and to see him blasphemed and evil spoken off is to throw durt and dung in his face mens dishonest filthy lives and conversation makes his soul â—o melt his heart to quake his eares to tingle and to gnash his teeth for grief he goeth mourning all the day long and lamenteth with a most bitter lamentation to hear the mockings of God and his Word because this is to Crucifie his Jesus afresh and to put him again to open shame 188. For he that hath this spirit rejoyceth to hear the name of God and of Christ magnified and praised to hear him well spoken off causeth his heart to leap within him as the Babe did in Elizabeths Womb for he loves those that love him and honour those that honour him and such only he accounteth his Father and Mother his Brothers and Sisters that do the will of God his Father which is in Heaven for he esteemeth only the true Christian to be wise and rich and honourable though otherwise he be poor and vile and contemptible in the eyes and esteem of men his very heart and soul cleaves unto these as the heart of Jonathan did unto David for 189. He that hath this spirit of God dwelling in him dwelleth in love and God the God of love in him he loves the souls of all men as his own soul whether they be relations or strangers he prays for them in secret and exhorts them in publick yea he weeps bitterly for all such as are not yet brought home to Christ but especially for such as he seeth are dead in their sins as have eyes but see not eares but hear not feet but walk not hands but handle not mouths but tast not for all such as walk after the flesh and do the works of the flesh for with his will he would that none did goe to Hell and that the Kingdome of Satan were not so populous and that he had not so many faithful Servants which are so faithless to Jesus Christ and to their own poor souls he would that all would believe and receive Christ that they might be all saved because he knoweth that many are interressed in every souls Salvation both in Heaven and on earth 190. This spirit opens Heavens Gates and leads the soul into the Inner Courts and carryes him up into the Brides Chamber and feasts him in his Banqueting house and fills and solaces his heart not with the delicacies of Egypt not with the Milk and Hony of Canaan but with those sweet rich delitious and pretious most pretious delicasies that are in that Heavenly Jerusalem the City of the living God where the spirit of all just men are made perfect they are fed continually with that rich dish of assurance and have the foretasts of those Eternal joyes which is that blessed rest prepared for the people of God 161. And thus this spirit causeth those in whom it dwelleth to rejoyce ever more and again I say to rejoyce for can any man in whom this spirit dwelleth who is the Sanctifier and the Comforter and sent us from Heaven by our blessed Saviour be afflicted can any mourn whil'st the Bridgroome is with them Ah no surely no for he comes with healings in his wings he bringeth Ah he bringeth the glad tydings of peace and salvation to all soules where it cometh to abide and thus are all the Sons of God led by his spirit comforted by his Spirit ravisht with his Spirit taught by his Spirit feasted by his Spirit brought home unto him by his Spirit and made one with him by his Spirit for we have all access unto the Father through the same Spirit let this then teach us all that are acquainted with the works of this Spirit not to quench its motions not to afflict or grieve this holy Spirit of blessedness but be always ready and willing to receive him and entertaine him for if we delight in him and to abide with him he will delight in us and delight to abide in us for he will not break the bruised reed nor quench the smoaking flax but wheresoever there is the true sincere and unfained desires of grace he will give grace according to these desires for he will never leave us comfortless but will come unto us and where he hath begun his work he will as assuredly finish it he will never leave nor forsake us if we do not leave not forsake him but will make our weak and imperfect grace strong and perfect glory for he knoweth all our desires and the thoughts and imaginations of our hearts are not hid from him but are alwayes open and naked before him and he delighteth most to feed us when we are most hungry and to refresh us when we are most thirsty and to cloath us most richly when we are naked and to give us the greatest treasure when we are poorest and to visit us when we are most sick for his absence and to comfort us when we are most disconsolated and afflicted and when we cast our selves down then doth he delight to raise us up to the highest and when we think our selves worst then doth he esteem us at the best and after our mourning causeth us to rejoyce and wipes away all tears from our eyes 192. Thus is this Spirit unto us all things who bringeth us much more joy then we are able to ask then we are able to think it Convinceth our hearts of sin of Righteousness and of Judgment 193. This Spirit giveth wisdome to the simple and teacheth the Ignorant knowledg and causeth him to understand so as Babes and Sucklings shew forth his mighty praises for he revealeth unto them what he hideth from the wise and mighty men of the earth and maketh appear plain that their Wisdome is but meer foolishness their strength weakness and their honours but as a leaf
all things is to have Jesus Christ for our Jesus and for our Christ get him Oh get him and I am sure thou wilt hereunto set thy seal 318. Wilt thou live happy live to him and for him only 319. Wilt thou dye willingly dye first to sin 320. Wilt thou live eternally live so then here as as Christ thy head and thy husband lived when he was in the flesh doing alwaies the will of God his heavenly Father 321. Wilt thou alwaies be comforted and rejoyce make thy peace with thy God and labour to maintain it 322. For fear or favour to gain or lose what thou hast or maiest hope to have have a special care and resolve that thou consent not unto connive at or love the least or sweetest sin 323. And if unhappily at any time thou dost fall lie not Ah beware thou lie not willingly in it but rise quickly and come out of it by true sincere unfained repentance and wash and bathe thy self in tears of sorrow grief and lamentation but still hope and trust in the Lord for he will fail thee never In Bourdeaux Ann. 1657. 1. ALL they that live holily live in God and God that is all holinesse lives in them they dwell in him and he in them as sin is Hell is Devil is both torment and tormentor so holinesse is Heaven is God is both Comfort and Comforter 2. All that is good is from God who is all good only good ever was and ever shall be all goodnesse is from his goodnesse yea from his overflowing fulnesse of goodnesse they are thus filled with all good 3. And as light brings out of darknesse dispels it vanquisheth and overcomes it so Gods Love which is holinesse delivers us from all sin dispels conquers and overcomes it brings us Ah brings us for ever out of this Hell sin into this Heaven holinesse or Heavenly holinesse 4. Love from God is made perfect that is sincere and this Love casteth out and overcomes all fear causeth true filial fear which flows from true sincere Love yea from this Love which is from Gods fear or the fear of God which is his Love 5. Ah Lord I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ and for his sake never to take thy holy spirit from me who is my light my life my joy my rejoycing my strength my hope my faith my confidence and my assured assurance 6. Thou teachest me O Lord all that I know and thou knowest well that I desire to know nothing but that and what thou wilt and dost intend to teach me 7. For to know any other things yea to know all other things is even to know nothing to this one thing of knowing thee and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent to know him not only to be a Jesus and a Christ but our Christ and our Jesus in the Mistery not in the History in the Spirit not in the letter nor from notions but from motions living walking raygning ruling overcoming bringing under making subject willingly cheerfully constantly continually throughly seriously faithfully ardently gladly and preservingly at all times and in all places and things 8. Ah how great a folly yea what greater folly is there then the wisdome of men and to learn only that which man can teach 9. What Ah what are all his words but meet words froth scum a scummy froth that is as soon dead as born short lived quickly made and quickly unmade and its making is its destruction it grow and withers together in growing it is even as its maker and it shews its maker man to be like it that is a windy puff as the puff of the wind man nothing man but vanity which is in it self worse then if it were not then if it were nothing 10. Mins greatness power strength honour beauty wisdome prudence policy what is it but as himself a vanishing vapour having nothing certaine but that all he hath is uncertaine what ever he hath to day of riches honours or pleasures to morrow all may say him nay and take themselves wings and flye away and he himself as the rich glutton goe where he shall ever stay and ever weep and waile this his very day the day that ever these or this was his 11. Ah how much nothing then is all things out of him that is all things even our God the God and giver of all things 12. Yet Lord I am content and willing to not to be any thing yea to be any thing for thy sake 13. O my soul I charge thee henceforth never to be afraid to loose what thou hast committed and given unto the Lord to keep for thee fear not then neither to loose any thing that he hath given thee and keeps for thee which is thy faith thy fear thy love thy joy thy hope thy peace thy comfort and thine assurance 14. Fear not to loose thy confidence obedience nor perseverance for he that hath given thee this thine all will so preserve and keep thee that thou shalt never fall 15. Speaking without feeling is even as dry bones that have no tast relish nor moisture that cannot nourish nor do not any whit satisfie or please the spiritual appetite 16. Me thinks to speak not what a man feels or not to feel what he speaks is as if he did not speak at all nay me thinks he should not speak it for it is words only only meer words true we shall be judged and condemned too for words but sure I am it must be works not words shall justifie us by faith we are saved now faith without works is dead 't is not the knowing Servants but the doing ones that shall receive the recompence of reward and enter into the joy of their Lord and ever possess the Lord of their joy knowers and not doers shall be beaten with many stripes blessed are they that have seen and have believed but more blessed are they that have not seen and yet have believed 17. The just shall live by faith not the faith of words to say only I believe in the Son of God in Jesus Christ whom he hath sent but of works to shew that he did believe be doing the works were Commanded him to do which is to fear God and keep his Commandements 18. But to feel what a man speaks and to speak that only which he feels is not words only but works also yea the work of Gods spirit for its the spirits work thus to work to work his will and his work on our hearts and to cause us to feel that is to know that he works for us and in us and will never leave thus working till he hath wrought out our Salvation that is till he hath sanctified us throughout in spirit soul and body and prepared and fitted us for Heaven as Heaven is fitted and prepared for us 19. Ah how great a folly is it to prise any other wisdome or to account any other things wisdome then this one thing feelingly to
that the World the things of the World should have again re-entrance there where thou Lord hast been for it cooleth that warmth it freezeth that heat it quencheth that fire it puts out those flames that did so warm heat burn and flame in the heart that it now as the fire under ashes and as the flame in the smoak it is not discernable 117. How ah how is the heart by the World and the things of the World carted as it were away and drawn by great force from thee O God and thy good From feasting at thy Table of dainties to take and taste and feed on those dirtie hoggish bruitish earthly husks or earths husks which cannot solace nor satisfie it for a moment with any true delight of taste or enjoyment 118. How lazie sluggish cold faint feeble and weary is the heart when it is taken of from enjoying thee O God who art its all even all its Joy 119. When it must ah when it must again leave heaven as it were and the delicacies thereof of liberty freedom peace rest joy riches honours and pleasures and come down from thence and dig and delve hew wood and draw water be a slave as it were to its worst and most cruellest Enemie at least not to be altogether free and therefore unquiet restless sad poor contemptible and full of grief 120. How doth ah how doth that heart that truly enjoys thee O God with Jacob say trulie feelinglie knowinglie and certainlie that it hath all even all honours riches and pleasures that are to be had on earth or in heaven 121. How ah how do such spurn away kick at and fly from all other things as if they had poyson in the head and a sting in the tayl even as from monsters that have no mercy 122. Such ah such a heart cannot no no it cannot satisfie it self with these satisfying satisfactions unless he be ah unless he be alwaies as it were drowned in them and swallowed up into them and because he cannot contain them therefore ah therefore he desires to be contained by them 123. How willingly ah how willingly would such a one be poor in the world to have and possess these Ah these true indeed true riches and to live ever in disgrace to be thus graced and to be made lower than the lowest of men To be thus high and lifted up above all these high low things here below how willingly ah how willingly would he still live in contempt and be flouted derided scorned and scoft at among and by men to be thus honoured by God and honourable among the blessed How willingly ah how willingly would he be ever banished from earths home to be thus brought home to enjoy what is at home in heaven and to feed on the unpleasant sower bitters of losses crosses and afflictions to drink only of these sweet pleasant streams and rivers of pleasures that flow continually and abundantly from Gods right hand 124. This Ah this is to be brought out of Egypt and over the red Sea and from his weary and long journeying in the wilderness to inherit a quiet and peaceable possession in that true Heavenly Celestial Canaan flowing alwayes with Milk and Hony for here even here in the flesh on earth he enjoys such and so many joyes as far exceed all that ever he did or could ask that ever he did or could think 125. Ah Lord rich in mercy love bounty and great in goodnesse above Ah much much above all that can be conceived or spoken by men or Angels set before me Ah set before me alwayes on the one hand my unkindnesse my sins my blacknesse foulnesse uncleannesse uglinesse and deformity as I am in my self from my self that I may loath detest and abhor them and my self for them and because of them that I may be driven drawn and whipt away from them to thee to hate them to love thee to detest them to adore thee and on the other hand O God my God I may alwayes openly and plainly see thy love and kindnesse yea loving kindnesse mercy goodnesse gentlenesse patience and forbearance that thereby and therewith I may be enticed allured tyed knit glued fastned swallowed up and involv'd in thee O God my God so as I may never more be devorst parted or seperated from thee nor thy ways but may long for to enjoy thy most sweet and only sweet and soul satisfying presence and Communion all my days for without thee and out of thee all things is even nothing but with thee enjoying thee we have all things and want nothing and do care for nothing else nor ask nor desire nothing Ah nothing else nay cannot think of any thing else 126. Blesse Ah blesse me then O Lord my Lord and my God who art the God and Father of Abraham of Isaac of Jacob and of all the blessed who blessest all that are blessed blesse O Lord blesse I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ all my weak fraile and unworthy prayers praises desires and actions make them a blessing so unto me as that thou mayest delight to blesse me more and more not for the satisfying of the flesh but of the spirit not of the body only but of the soul also not only the outward but the inward Ah the inward the inward man let me be so blessed in soul and body as that both soul and body may ever blesse and praise thee in life in death and after death Amen Amen 127. Ah Lord let me alwayes live in thee move by thee and have all my being from thee that is be all alwayes in all places and things for thee 128. Let Ah let the world and the things of the world seem to be as they are Vanity and Vexation of spirit unto me 129. Let me delight in thee O God only in thee alone 130. Let me always so live as I may be alwayes be ready to dye that whensoever I dye I may be sure alwayes to live that is to live Eternally 131. In Heaven O Lord where thou dost raigne Where is no grief no losse but gaine 132. When that the heart is as it were in God or God in the heart so that the mind doth only minde him Ah how unwilling is it to minde the world or any thing in the world of the world and how willing Ah how willing to unmind it altogether and to forget it for ever even for ever and for ever how sweetly Ah how sweetly doth it pass the time away when all its facultyes are imployed and feasted in the contemplation of God his love goodness greatness mercy truth wisdome and Eternity how willingly Ah how willingly doth it shake off put away divorce and separate it self from all things of these things here below and doth the soul of the heart rejoyce when it is not molested with perturbations it doth at such a time as this forget these low things even all these high things here below as if he had never thought
delights and desires 31. Though they were but a moment before so violent and strong that they carryed him down even head long which scared and affrighted him so as if the time of deliverance had been far off he durst not Ah he durst not presume to imagine that such a calme was so nigh at hand sinful fleshly motions and affections did in a manner delight him that he even did as it were allow its raigne and permit at least would almost have conniv'd and wink'd at the beginnings of evil though he well Ah though he well and clearly foresaw the Consequences to be very great and greatly dangerous 32. But on a sudden Ah on a sudden how did Ah how did all these tentations vanish away how slighted Ah how much slighted how trampled on Ah hovv much trampled on hovv cast aside Ah hovv cast aside how trampled and trodden under feet hovv soon Ah how soon was the memory thereof forgotten and hoow svveet Ah how sweet was its forgetfulnesse delightful its divorce and joyful its destruction 33. And hovv willing Ah hovv vvilling O Lord God thou only knowest that soul is that thus possesseth thee and is possest by thee to live Ah ever to live in this possession and to be for ever and ever thus possest by thee 34. The worlds chief joyes are then but meere and foolish royes he would not no nor cannot give a look on them they are so barren so unfruitful so empty so sottish so brutish to such an enlightned understanding that he cares not to understand nor consider what they are 35. Ah how how doth he wish it might be ever thus with him and that he might be thus ever senceless and dead to the worlds all and account all its all alwayes nothing at all nay make no account of it no not so much as think of it 36. When that the soul is Ah when that the soul is thus wrapt up in Gods love when she is thus emptied as it were into him and filled with him how is she Ah how is she at rest and ease how calme how tranquil how quiet how rich how honourable and how refresht and delighted how hath she Ah how hath she all her desires and doth not nor cannot desire more Ah what peace what felicity and what praises and giving of thanks how doth she Ah how doth she forget the evil that is past and rejoycech in the good that is present 37. How is the world and the things of the world cast out of doores and how Ah how are the doores of all his affections opened to let in his God to enjoy him and to make him his all and his only joy 38. Ah my God goe on goe on my God my God to Conquer Triumph and prevaile over all the lusts and affections which are yet within me unsubdued uncast out unthrone them O Lord unthrone them and trample them all O Lord all both the great and the small under thy feet in the greatnesse of thy wrath and fury that they may be utterly destroyed and never more come near me to hurt me or destroy my poor soul who cleaves to thee who sticks fast to thee who desires to hold thee and never Ah never to let thee goe Ah that I could that I could thus live with thee and in thee ever and depart from thee never O Lord never never see Psal. 28. 39. Great is the goodnesse of the Lord to those that fear his name And to all those that keep his lawes and delight in the same For they shall see him with great joy and shall his honour speak Their joy shall be to Laud his name and he shall make them great 40. Oh give your selves to me saith he and I will be your guide And you shall in my Laws remaine for I will you delight To walk in them you shall have hearts for all your joy shall be To live to praise my holy name the Lord of Hoasts saith he 41. Goe forth with joy both ev'ning and morne and let your praise redound Oh clap your hands and greatly joy for that you have him found For having him you have that all that mighty all alwayes There is none else deserves like fame as his Eternal praise 42. O come into his Courts alwayes and therein rest you still Be glad and mightily rejoyce when that you do his will To do thy will is all my joy and all that I desire Ah give me grace to do it still and nothing else require 43. Ah great God how great is thy love and how lovely Ah how lovely is thy greatnesse 44. What have I Ah Lord my God what have I when I have thee not and what have I not when O Lord God I have thee 45. How low Ah how low are all these high things here below to those high most high and glorious things of heaven which the soul enjoyes even here on earth in the flesh when that it hath Communion with God and enjoyes him in the Spirit 46. Of what and how little account and esteem doth he account and esteem of all Companies of Friends Children Father Mother or the Wife of his bosome when he can or may enjoy the company of his God he will not nor cannot then consent to converse with flesh and bloud when he may when he can by the Spirit through the Spirit speak to God and hear him answer him Ah how the soul at such time is satisfied delighted ravished filled and comforted how quiet how peaceable how willing chearful and glad to obey all his will 47. And how detestable hateful loathsome ugly filthy and abominable at such times especially are all lusts all affections worldly and fleshly are all sins of any rank though never so little though never so sweet near or dear he hates all both the great and the small 48. When that a soul enjoys that blessed blessedness of Communion with God it will not ah it will not have Communion fellowship or converse with any other Creature or thing he will not mind any thing else nor suffer any thing else to come into his mind 49. He is then so stuft as it were and so full filled with God and the joyes of his grace that he is divorced emptied and outed as it were of all other things yea all things are so much out of him that is out of his heart out of his mind out of his memory out of his affections his desires his will his love or his liking that his joy is augmented greatly that they are so outed of him for then only he saith Now I have what I would have yea all that ever I did desire or crave for my God is to me all things and much better than all other things 50. Ah Lord bury me I most humbly beseech thee thus in thy self that I may be dead to all other things to all things out of thee and besides thee let me ah let me so possess thee and be possest so
continue I shall not I am sure grieve be sad repine nor sorrowful for its losse come when it will come and Ah that it were come if God so would 84. Thy Love O God O God thy Love thy Love is the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven there can be nothing more lovely or desirable either there or here Let me O Lord I beseech thee never leave sighing after it longing for it nor desiring to enjoy it until I do enjoy it with thy self in thy self by possessing thy blessed most blessed self O sweet Jesus who art all blessings and all blessednesse 85. One look of Love from Christ will make a man willingly and cheerfully to cast aside to cast away all things that hinder his loving of him though never so lovely or lawful near or dear unto him for his Love will constrain only to love him again 86. But how then Ah how then doth and will that Soul love him that seeth and knoweth alwaies that he is beloved by him he is fed with his Love yea continually feasted with his Love he is cloathed with his Love all his garments are Love his treasure is his Love his honour is his Love and his Love is all his pleasure and his delight he sees his Love in all things that he sees that he enjoys he is continually with him and this his sweet amiable and blessed presence of Love his most loving presence he cannot be without when he hath him not thus nigh him he seems to want all things and when he hath him thus he hath all things and wants nothing 87. Such a Soul rowleth dependeth and alwaies rejoyceth his heart is only made glad by his delightful approaches and indwellings so as he esteemeth no life like to this life of living in him to him and for him and when Ah when all other Subjects and Objects how loving or lawful soever at other times are outed of his mind memory heart and affections how glad is he how doth he rejoyce and leap and skip and sing for joy that he is with him alone that he enjoyeth him only that nothing hinders nor molests their sweet intercourse their sweet imbraces their mutual Delight Joy and Love 88. Love cannot endure to be molested when it hath what it would have there is none so rich so happy so honourable as he that is thus loved by God and lives alwayes in his love and is by him from his love made to walk worthy of his love for such is Gods love that he accepteth the willing will that is in us for the working deed when that it is upright true real and sincere 89. On Christ the King of love the soveraign tye and chaine of love thy love is so lovely so shining so transpiercing so bright so burning so Conquering so consuming that all other loves are consum'd at the very approach of thy love at thy comeing they flye away they are not heeded minded remembred nor thought on any more nay to forget them all what ever they be bringeth joy even such joy as is unspeakable for then the soul and body and all the facultyes and members thereof are filled with thee and thy joyes which are such as no tongue can tell nor no heart conceive thou dost so much excel O Lord thou dost so much excel as thus to enjoy thee Oh thou our Soveraigne best and superiour good the soul answereth Ah let it thus be ever with me let me be ever thus with thee O Christ with thee with thee let me Ah let me never goe from thee be absent from thee for there is nothing in Heaven that I desire like unto thee or in all the earth in Comparison of thee make me but as one of thy hired Servants that I may alwayes hear thee see thee and abide in thy blessed most blessed presence for in thy presence is always all joy unspeakable joy yea fulnesse of all joy that is unspeakable and from thy right hand flowes continually all pleasures for evermore 90. Thus is the soul wrapt up in Christ that enjoyes him he asks he seeks esteems prises nor desires no other joyes no other Heaven no other happinesse no other blessednesse then thus alwayes to enjoy him he is at rest at ease he hath all that he would have that he can ask or crave yea much above all that ever he did ask or think so much is Christ above all things and more then all things to them and to all them in whom he liveth in love and loveth to live and the soul breatheth out for more of his love that it may love him more and more 91. Look O man into this Glass and thou shalt plainly see thy inner man the heart of thy soul or the soul of thy heart whether it be or not a heart according to Gods heart or a heart according to thine own heart and the Devils thou shalt plainly see whether thou art Carnal or Spiritual dead in sin or alive by grace a faithful Servant of Jesus Christ or a slave to thine own vile base lusts and affections of sin and Satan whether thou art a Member of Christs Mystical body betrothed unto him by grace or still a Member of Satans vile body made one with him by sin whether or no thou hast the divine nature in thee or still remainest in thine own fleshly sinful wretched nature and this thou mayest easily see and know by examining of thine affections what thou lovest most prizest choosest delightest in thinkest on and esteemest most what is most the end of thy aime and the aime of thy end after what thou most runnest pantest breathest gapest hungrest and thirstest after what is most in thy thoughts yea what thou makest thy thoughts most what are thy inward longings if thou choosest all his wayes freely and universally the hard and rough to the flesh as well as the easie pleasant and delightful and that with pleasure and delight and rejoycest to walk in them and to make them and to make them thy delight if his yoke be to thee easie and his burthen light if it be thy meat and drink to do all his whole and holy will on earth as it is done in Heaven if it be the Heaven that thou desirest on this side Heaven thy earthly Heaven thy Heaven on earth to do his whole and holy will on earth as it is done in Heaven Consider 92. Art thou born again not in the flesh but in the spirit that is transformed changed and made a new Creature throughout in spirit soul and body in thought word and deed are all old things put away wholly and totally cheerfully and willingly with consent delight applause joy rejoycing and thanksgiving and are all things become new hast thou a new mind new heart new desires new endeavours new will and affections at all times in all places companyes and things throughly seriously circumspectly faithfully sincerely ardently continually and universally that is prevailingly against all sinful fleshly desires
lusts and affections cost thou find all evil inclinations mortified have they all received a deadly wound do they all stink in thy Nostrils as they do in Gods and are they all loathsome unto thee as they are unto him and detested by thee with thy whole heart as by God that is in truth and sincerity of heart and as well and as much secret airy vaine foolish thoughts that disturb thy peace and thy Communion with God as open sins so that Gods nature divine Image and resemblance is most of all dear pretious and delightful unto thee and thou labourest with tooth and naile to preserve it with a continual heedful watchful careful care so that to do good is habitual in thee yea as it were natural it is all thy delight joy rejoycing end and ayme dost thou hartily hare all the former evil that was in thy heart loathing detesting and abhorring the sins of thy life heretofore thy heretofore sins are all their sweets become to thy tast bitter as gall and wormwood are all their pleasures altogether unsavory unpleasant and so loathsome as thy very heart riseth aganist them and loatheth the very thoughts of them do they appear unto thee all both the great and the small in their own black colours filthy and ugly hue is there no one lull'd in thy bosome hugg'd in thine arms imbraced in thine heart pleasant in thine eye sweet to thy tast or winkt or connived at as a small one or but as one as a dear one even near and dear as a right eye or a right hand but are they all both great and small known or unknown secret as well as open like unto thee exceeding yea above measure loathsome and sinful dost thou watch against them alwayes and not suffer any one when he peeps in to come in dost thou flye from them all as thou would'st do from the Devil from Hell and from the greatest of Gods Judgments and Eternal wrath are they to thee as a Hell yea as the worst of Hell in Hell dost thou feel the burthen of but one sin though not committed altogether willingly or with delight to be heavier then the whole earth and had'st rather have all the Rocks and Mountains in the whole world to fall on thee to lye upon thee then one willing sin committed to lye upon thee and is sin thus hated loathed detested and abhorred by thee because it is sin because it is a breach of Gods holy Laws and divine Commandments which are altogether all holy just and good because they disturb thy peace and thy communion with God and are contrary to thy nature in truth as to Gods nature and because they make thee to lose thine image and likeness of God and Christ and converse with the Spirit of grace who is thy sole and souls comfort and comforter and for that they make thee vile in Gods eyes and disobedient unto him for whom thou art and wert created and for whom and unto whom thou desirest to live to love to fear to honour and to obey for ever and for ever 93. Art thou conformable to Christ thy head thy husband thy Lord and thy King Doth he wholly reign and rule in thy heart with consent applause delight joy and rejoycing and in and over all the faculties of thy soul and members of thy body Art thou holy as he is holy pure as he is pure and perfect as he is perfect that is sincere in truth truly sincere in all thy actions and affections Art thou within as thou seemest to be without and dost thou labour much more to be approved applauded esteemed and honoured by God and in his sight than by men and in their sight Dost thou stick only to him cleave to him and hold him fast with true faithful sincere ardent continual and loving embraces and choosest him only for thy choice for thy chief Superiour best and soveraign good for thy heaven for thy happiness and for thy felicity peace rest and blessedness Is there nothing in heaven so dear and pretious unto thee as is thy God thy Christ nor in all the earth in comparison of him Dost thou much more love heaven for God than God for heaven 94. Is Jesus Christ become to thee so great gain as for his sake thou carest not what loss thou dost fustain Temporal or Spiritual so that thou maiest live the life of the righteous to his praise honour and glory Thou carest not what be thy condition nor where thy place of abode be nor with whom nor what be thy life nor what thy death be though poor hunger-starved full of scabs botches and sores from the crown of the head to the sole of the foot like unto Job or Lazarus so as there be no whole place in thee and though thou shouldst be as they were defamed vilified condemned cast out scoffed at mocked lie in the dust on a dunghill be fed with the dogs yea refused what is given them even the very Crums that fall under other mens Tables yea though thou shouldst be banished imprisoned persecuted scourged whipped tormented rackt torn by wild horses consumed by fire or drown'd in the depth of the sea 95. Canst thou choose any of all these yea all these and all other afflictions whatsoever willingly chearfully and joyfully for Christs sake and the Gospels rather than deny thy faith thy hope thy love rather than commit any sin rather than do the least evil with consent approbation liking or choice Is Christ better to thee than all things Canst thou truly cordially and sincerely say that thou hast nothing so dear and near to thee as Christs Honour Crown and Glory is And whatever be thy Portion here below of these high low things thou canst willingly with all thy heart and will go from them all or be content that all things be taken from thee Houses Lands Goods Kindred Friends Father Mother Wife Children and what else desiring much rather by much to hold fast thine integrity with the loss of all these then hold fast these and lose thy love thy light thy life which is thy Jusus 96. Wouldst thou mnch rather choose affliction any affliction yea all afflictions Temporal and Spiritual on body and soul as the children of God rather than commit the pleasures of sin for a season rather than in the least displease thy Christ thy Jesus thy God thy good thy Saviour and thy Redeemer for a moment much rather by much suffer the afflictions due to sin then sin and suffer no affliction for surely a Saints greatest affliction is sin sin is the very worst of hell to him that makes God his best heaven the heaven of heaven in heaven 97. Dost thou feel thy heart heartily to long for the knowledge of God and all his waies to love fear serve honour and obey him And dost thou find that all that thou dost is nothing to what thou wouldst and desirest and longest to do Thy very best is too too bad thy
most holy things are too too unholy and all thine all even nothing at all thou art altogether ashamed of thy self that thou art what thou art and abhorrest thy self in dust and ashes accounting thy self as thou art in thy self the vilest of Creatures the greatest of sinners and the very worst of the worst of men 98. And this causeth in thee sorrow shame grief and astonishment wondring that such a God should love such a man such a worm such a wretch such a miscreant such a dog such a sinner yea such a devil as thou art in thy self Dost thou thus condemn thy self loath and abhor thy self and art thus truly angry with thy self and ashamed of thy self and of all thy doings and marvellest how thou canst find acceptance at such a glorious Throne of grace and gracious Throne of glory and that God hath had so long patience and that he did not cut thee off long ago and give thee thy portion with thy brethren in Iniquity Whoremongers Drunkards Prophaners of the Sabbath with the Covetous Proud Boasters Malicious Raylers False accusers c. even with the devil and his angels and that thou dost esteem it a heaven that thou art not now in hell giving continual glory to God in Christ that thou were not consumed and cut off long ago and that he hath not given only space to repent but also grace to repent from all and every sin in thought word and deed even with repentance unto life never to be repented of 99. And if thus thou art in sincere truth I say if in truth and sincerity these or the like be thy desires endeavours life and living end and aime habitually continually and universally then art thou what thou shouldst be and what God would have thee to be assure thy self thy heart is upright clean pure holy and perfect even according to Gods own holy heart thou art a man in Christ a member of Christ and surely surely Christ will assuredly own thee for his own and alwaies love thee and live in thee even as he doth in his own as he doth to those in whom he liveth and whom he loveth and thy life shall henceforth be hid with Christ in God so that when he shall appear at his second and sudden coming in glory thou shalt also appear with him to his eternal glory and thine everlasting comfort joy and eternal salvation 100. And therefore O man of God child of God son of God and servant of the eternal and ever living God chear up thy self and rejoyce yea I say evermore rejoyce for God is thy God and thy Father thy Portion thy Lot and thine Inheritance thou art surely his and he is as surely thine and Christ Jesus will be also thine all all thine the way the truth and the life to bring thee unto and give thee possession of erernal life life eternal which he hath prepared for thee by his death and is preparing thee for it by his life for he lives to make continual intercession for thee the holy Spirit of grace the Sanctifier and the Comforter is thine he will guide thee lead thee direct thee keep thee and preserve thee unto the end even in the waies of all holiness and righteousness of peace joy comfort and consolation which are the fore-tasts and fore-sights of eternal life and salvation the very beginnings of the beatifical Vision of glory in glory and of those ravishing joyes and pleasures prepared and laid up for the Just before the beginning of the world was which are such as eye hath not seen as ear hath not heard neither hath it ever entred into the heart of any man at any time to conceive being much an much above all that we can ask or think for there we shall ever possess and enjoy all joyes unspeakable joyes yea fulness of all joyes and pleasures for evermore even God himself Father Son and Holy Ghost who is all in all and in all the blessed to him alone be eternally given all Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving now and for ever and ever Amen Amen 101. None but the true children of God can truly love Gods Children they that are his will love those that are his chiefly and most because they are his and those most that appear to be his most and those dearliest that are his dearest 102. I will much more more by much rejoyce in an obedient heart to submit unto and to do the whole and holy will of God in all cases conditions and places than to enjoy the wisdom of Solomon and all the honours riches delights and pleasures of the whole world 103. Ah Lord let my heart never be at rest untill I find that it doth most willingly freely joyfully and choosingly submit and acquiess unto all that God will be it what it will and to say of all things and in all conditions so would I have it 104. There is surely nothing so delightful unto the heart of a true Christian as to do the whole will of God holily and heartily as to please him by a sincere hearty and chearful obedience universally 105. Ah the joyes the joyes the true joyes the great joyes yea the unspeakable joyes the peace the peace the comfort the comfort the solace and the rest and quiet that is in the heart of him that feareth alwaies from love for it destroys all servile fear and causeth such joy and gladness as passeth all understanding 106. What ah what honour is there like that as truly and sincerely to honour God! What pleasure ah what pleasure like that as alwaies to please God! What joy ah what joy like that as alwaies to enjoy God! What happiness ah what happiness like that comparable to that as to know him to be ours and we to be his What peace ah what peace like that as when we know our peace to be made with the God of peace through and by Jesus Christ the King and Prince of peace witnessed unto us by the continual indwelling in us of the Spirit of peace the Sanctifier of our souls and the Comforter of our hearts Ah what comfort what comfort like unto that as to find our selves in God and that great good God to be in us What ah what so sweet as to feed continually on these true heavenly sweets here on earth which are the very sweets of heaven in heaven 107. I do now wonder that any man hath or can have any pâ—ace a moment that hath not his peace made sure or a sure peace made with God 108. All other quiet ah how unquiet will it prove in the end that is not founded or grounded on this sure foundation or ground of Gods love in Jesus Christ. 109. I wonder Ah I wonder men are not as it were continually torn in pieces with fears and cares till all these fears are taken away by a lively living Faith and their whole cares cast on Christ. 110. I wonder Ah I wonder that terrors do
When God is in the heart it may be seen in the face and perceived by the words that come out of the mouth such a lustre is on the whole man both within and without when the presence of God by his Spirit is within he is surelie beautiful in the eyes of all beholders that delight and desire to behold the face of God in Jesus Christ the very Majestie of God in some sort is on such a soul and through the glorious light of Christs gracious face his face doth shine in the sight of God and all good men 49. I will make no condition with thee O God but only this that is to love thee only in all conditions as my God and my only good 50. Ah Lord I most unfeignedlie and humblie beseech thee let me never taste of this bitter bitter that is to find any sin sweet 51. But let all sin even all oh all Be unto me as wormwood and gall 52. Ah Lord I humbly beseech thee never suffer the remembrance of the former pleasures of sin to please me but let their remembrance be altogether displeasing hateful and detestabel and to be delivered from them let it be unto me as the deliverance from death and from Hell 53. Let the fire of thy grace quench totally the heat and fire of all and every lust sinful and disordinate affection that I may henceforth burn only in the fire of Love to thy Laws 54. The true life of God in a Christian is most of all and plainliest seen by his hatred to all evil and sin and by his unfeigned sincere ardent and continual Love to all that is good he loves all that is good in all to see it though a far off to hear it spoken of by any whatsoever but to find it in himself most of all joyes and satisfies him to see any evil committed or to hear any evil spoken by any troubles and afflicts him such is his Antipathy against it that he will not give it the least hearing or parley no nor cast the least glance of an eie to favour it it is abominable to him in thought word and deed and in all its circumstances even in all And as well hath the whole man all the faculties of the Soul hatred to the least circumstance of all ill as well as to the greatest but the degree and measure is according to the measure or degree or nature of the ill but it s alike hated sincerely as well the very least as the very greatest of all And in the same manner and measure is his unfeigned Love to all that is good he thanks and praiseth and priezth God for good thoughts as heartily and sincerly as for good words or actions because he as plainly seeth the true Love of God in the very least particualr as in the very gretest And 't is the Love of God which is his presence in Love that makes his Soul to leap within him with joy When that the Soul sees his God it sees all his good his Heaven his blisse his peace his Love his joy his rest his whole and only delight contentment and comfort But in the most good he seeth him most and therefore desireth to do the most good that ever was done or is possible to be done and therein he is best pleased because that pleaseth his God best and to please him is his only pleasure all his pleasure joy and delight only it is his Heaven and therefore he makes it his only happinesse 55. Ah God my God and my only good let it be I most humbly and unfaignedly beseech thee in Jesus Christ alwaies thus with me that my soul may be satisfied may be solaced may be refresht and comforted by thy living in me and by my living alwaies in thee and unto thee to thine eternal honour praise and glory for thine own glorious and holy names sake give me this grace that I may live this life here on Earth until I come to live that life that I shall after this is ended live with thee in Heaven So be it Lord. So be it Amen Amen 56. Ah how happy thrice happy are we Who both tast know feel find savour and see That thou livest in us and that we live in thee 57. Empty me O Lord of all even of all that I may be sit to receive and be filled with thy fulnesse even with thy blessed most blessed self the Ocean and Sea of all goodnesse 58. As long as we are full or in part filled with World flesh of self so much lesse room there is for God for when a Vessel is full it can receive nothing and according to the measure its empty it is capable to receive 59. How then Ah how then should we labour to empty our hearts of all that is not of God that we may be filled only with God with God only and alwaies be thus empty that we may be thus alwaies filled for its clear according to the measure we are empty we are capable to receive and we shall receive from God of his blessed fulnesse of unspeakable joyes and pleasures if we are willing and labour earnestly and sincerely to empty our selves of our selves and of all fleshly worldly pleasures and joyes which are but meer fancies vanities fooleries and toyes 60. Ah Lord God the Fountain and the Ocean that can never be emptied empty I most humbly and unfainedly beseech thee in the name and for the merits of thy Son and my Saviour Jesus Christ my heart of all things even of all what ever it be that is not according to thy heart that is not of thee that I may pant and gape hunger and thirst long and desire to be filled with thee alone alone with thee with thee who art only desirable and to be desired only grant that all the Worlds all may be more and more unto me nothing even nothing at all that thou maiest be all mine and I all thine that I may love all things out of thee lesse and lesse daily and thee O God more and more until I so love thee as it may not be possible for me to love thee more that my Love may cause me so to sink into thee as I may see my self in thee and thee in me yea that I may be so swallowed up into thee that I may not be mine but thine not mine own at all but thine own all even all thine Now henceforth and for ever more So be it Lord So be it Amen Amen 61. The greatest gift that God can give us is himself by Christ and then Faith to believe it a heart to love him and rejoyce in it and to praise him continually for it 62. And this will work in us unfained sincere ardent true Love which will cast out all fear of doubting and work in us a true fear not to offend or grieve him any more seeing he hath given us himself to make us his for ever and for ever 63. The greatest
love the other because it is in it self lovelie 91. O Lord let my love be true for thee as thine is I am sure for me 92. Let my love O Lord be hot for thee as I am sure thine is for me 93. Let my love be strong for thee as I am sure thine is O Lord for me 94. Let my love be sincere for thee as thine is O my Lord I am sure for me 95. Let my love be continual O Lord God for thee as I am sure thine is and shall be for ever for me 96. All the things out of God and besides God are to a true believer but as husks but as the shell but as dry bones c. But all things in God are the pith without the husk are the kernel out of the shell are as marrow out of the bone they are truly savory and sweet much more desirable and to be desired than gold yea then much fine gold and the most pretious pearls 97. He that is in God and finds God in him that is the life of Christ within him Christ which is holiness to be writ on his heart esteemeth himself rich in the greatest poverty for he knoweth that all things are his he still carrieth about with him that unspeakable treasure that unpusible treasure that will make him truly rich wise and honourable to all Eternitie and with this riches he maketh many rich though such a one be despised he mocketh at their laughter and mockings and sincerely desires and wisheth that they had changed their estates for such an estate as will make them surely and truly for ever rich 98. He that possesseth the riches of God his spirit esteemeth the wiscome of the wise according to the flesh that is humane freshly wisdome to be but meer foolishnesse the treasures of the world though it were even all this worlds treasure to be but meer trash and all its honours and pleasures to be but meer emptiness shadows outsides nothing and can be all fitly compared to nothing but to nothing 99. Let me have thee O God alwayes and I will alwayes say as Jacob did when he had thee I have all and I am sure I shall never lack any thing at all for this life or the life to come for thou art O God more then all that is either in Heaven above or on earth below 100. He that possesseth God thus hath in some measure Gods likenesse which is holinesse within and without and that bringeth true contentment and he that is truly contented wanteth nothing but possesseth much more by much than he which if it could be should possesse all the whole world its riches honours and pleasures thus the man that liveth in God knoweth findeth and feeleth and therefore rejoyceth with unspeakable joy and this his joy as no man knoweth so no man can take it from him it is the gift of God yea it is the gift God 101. What Ah what heart is able to conceive or tongue express the joyes Ah the joyes the joyes that he enjoyes that thus enjoyes God how how Ah how doth he rejoyce and triumph having got such a Victory having such a Crown of glory such a glorious most glorious Crown put on his head much finer then the finest gold and brighter then the clearest Pearl or Diamond thus faith makes such souls triumph without controul they are so fully filled with those rivers of pleasures that flow from Gods own right hand 102. Thou art O God thou art and there is none else none besides thee God blessed for ever give me I most humbly beseech thee if it be agreeable unto thee those joyes continually that I may Ah that I may continually fear thee that I may continually love thee that I may continually serve thee and more and more O Lord much by much give up my self spirit soul and body unto thee to worship and to adore thee the greatness of thy goodness and the goodness of thy greatness which is so incomprehensible and without end Ah Lord I leave my self with thee leave thou thy self with me I desire thou knowest never to goe from thee goe not then I beseech thee from me but let me be all thine and alwayes thine from this time forth and for ever more Amen so be it Lord so be it Amen Amen 103. the glory of my glory is that thou hast O God created me for thine own self for thine own glory swallow me up so in thy self that all things out of thee and besides thee O God who art my best good may be swallowed up that is consumed that all mine may be all thine thee thine mine 105. I would much rather by much that God should keep from me the greatest comforts then not to see and know my failings and fallings 106. Ah Lord the sight and knowledge of my failings and fallings causeth thee to have thoughts of good for me to send me comfort by restoring me to thy wonted favour and by giving me repenting grace pardoning grace and preserving grace 107. By seeing my failings and my fallings thou pitiest me O Lord because I am in so pitiful a case 108. Ah Lord let thine eyes be alwayes open and watch thou over me to see me in what case or condition soever I be 109. I was indeed I confess heretofore ashamed and afraid that thou should'st and did'st see me and know me I was so vile and filthy and finding no true love in me for thee I thought O Lord that thou had'st noise in thee for me but that thou did'st hate me because indeed I was altogether hateful But now I know and for which I heartily and sincerely desire ever to praise thee that thine anger is turned away and that thine hand is stretched out still over me to preserve protect defend maintaine and to do me good 110. So that what I thought was my ill I now know is my greatest good that thou seest me O God that thou alwayes seest me and I would not but that thou did'st alwayes see me as well when I am in my sins in my worst case and condition as when at the very best because at the very best thou canst see I acknowledge and sincerely consess nothing in me that thou should'st do any good to me or for me so bad is my very best so empty nothing and vile is all mine all And knowing thee now O Lord God by thine own sweet name of love and mercy I am not I praise thee at all afraid that thou see in me all my sins past because thou hast given me a free pardon for them present sins because having pardoned those I am as sure that thou wilt pardon these neither am I afraid of my sins to come because I know that thou art never weary doing good and that thou never me Wherefore O Lord seeing that thou art become my Lord and my God I now most humbly beseech thee to look on me at all times in all places and things
look upward or to hope or to think or to believe this is the nature of sin and of the man that is in sin to be heavy dull faint coward swallowing down and giving it self up unto all fears horribly ashamed and confounded being darknesse even black thick darknesse darknesse it self and miserable ignorance which I take to be the greatest and sorest evil of all to be deprived of this heavenly flower of this heavens beauty of knowledge to see and know our blessed estates of being in God and Gods being in us which is perfect full whole and entire blessednesse therefore the contrary ignorance black thick ignorance must needs be the contrary the puddle the filth and excrement of Hell in it self as it were entire full whole compleat and perfect cursednesse and misery 123. Ah Lord God how great how transcendent magnificent wonderfully exceeding and unspeakably great is thy bountiful goodnesse in giving and forgiving what thou givest and forgivest especially unto me despicable poor vile me the first chiefest and greatest of all sinners and the very worst of the worst of all men how Ah how my Soul doth desire unfaignedly at this time to prize and praise thee I know that thou knowest And Ah that I could tell and shew forth how and what thou hast at this very time done for me in opening mine eies to see and know and comprehend in some measure and understand what it is to be in thee to partake of thee and to be swallowed up into thee in a little though very little dark measure to know thee but clearly to see feel and know that I am comprehended of thee that is that thou art mine and that I am thine Ah Lord suffer not I beseech thee that the ignorance which I am sure that sin brings with it take away from me this glorious portion of knowledg to know and feel and see my self in thee and that thou art and all thine mine Ah Lord let this light of thine which is thy self alwaies shine in me that by it I may be kept from the black thick darknesse of sin ignorance and errour and that I may not hence forth walk in those waies which lead unto such deep destruction as to eclypse weaken darken much lesse put out or destroy this glorious beam of thy most glorious light which through thy free most free grace and mercy in Jesus Christ thou hast at this time caused so brightly clearly transparently and fully to shine upon me Ah Lord let this glorious Light of thine alwaies continue in me that I may alwaies see my self in thee and thee in me and know thee to be mine and that I am thine that thereby I may be inabled to tell of and to set forth thy praises and that thou art such a God as thou art and to be desired and sought after only being only the desirable and the desired And grant that the remembrance of this thy Love and gratious dealing with me at this time may never be forgotten by me not slip out of my mind but that I may alwaies have it in remembrance that it may be as a strong Tower and bulwark against all and every temptation that shall at any time fall upon me and that hereby I may be made more and more able to resist every lust and sin whether in thought word or deed to hate it and flye from it as the greatest of all evils as the fire of Hell and the worm of Conscience esteeming it the very worst of the worst of the Devil Let it I most humbly beseeth thee O our Father in Jesus Christ strengthen and augment my resolution and hatred against all and every sin as well against the least of all as the very greatest of all that I may more and more see all sin to be exceeding sinful the bane ruine destruction and destroyer of all good blessednesse and happinesse Ah Lord hear me and answer me in Jesus Christ and continue thus gratiously to go along with me to be alwaies by me and to watch over me that no evil at any time either in thought word or deed overtake me or come nigh me to hurt me to the end I may walk before thee with a perfect and upright heart doing alwaies all that is right in thy sight that thou maiest O Lord more and more delight in me the work of thy hand and in some measure I hope trust and believe in Jesus Christ the joy of thy heart and that thou wilt gratiously own me for thine own and never be ashamed to be called my God for Christ my Soul doth and shall alwaies blesse thee and to him with thine own most glorious Majesty and Holy Spirit of Grace the Sanctifier and Comforrer be alwaies and eternally given Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving for ever and for ever Amen 124. God he waiteth to be gratious to bring deliverance to his children and servants as they wait for the grace of deliverance 125. Thus is our Good good gratious and merciful Sympathizing with us in our afflictions as well as in our comforts 126. Thus is our God a most gratious God The God of all grace and Father of all mercies alwaies doing good never weary repenting or standing still 127. His fountain of Love favour grace and mercy is not only alwaies open for us but alwaies running over flowing out to run into us he is abundant in loving kindnesse yea his delight is to be alwaies doing good he would that we would alwaies ask that he might alwaies give 128. It is not possible but impossible to be weary speaking unto God when that we have his Spirit or to be weary hearing of him speak to us by the same Spirit 129. His words are as the droppings of honey the sweet of all sweets sweeter much by much than the honey or the honey comb 130. The Soul of a right Christian of a true Believer doth not nor cannot desire more favour than to be admitted to speak freely unto God being fitted by him and taught by his Spirit what to speak for then he is sure to hear him to speak to him again an answer of peace 131. If it be so delightful a thing to us here in the flesh whilst we are as it were so far from him or at least seeing him far off so darkly his back parts only Ah how comforting how solacing how transforming to see his transcendent glorious face as he is to be seen and to hear his sweet and sacred voyce audably that we are his and that he is ours And when he shall have cloathed us with his own liknesse and have made us in some small measure glorious as he is glorious for we shall then shine in the glory of our head Christ Jesus putting on his glory 132. Ah Lord God be good unto me and grant that through thine infinite fulness and goodnesse I may fill others that are empty with these thine overslowings wherewith thou hast filled
love us so much he doth love us and yet much more by much and so strongly and continually as we would that he did love us so doth he and so will he even unto the end for there is nor never shall be any end of his love he will love whom he doth love world without end for ever and for ever 182. So sure as we are Gods creatures so sure is he our God and so sure as he is the Father of all mercies so sure is he our Father and therefore sure it is that we are his dear children and therefore surely he will be ever unto us a most loving and merciful Father delighting to do us good and to make us his very delight in Jesus Christ out eldest Brother blessed Saviour and Redeemer 183. O Lord I have no good in me but what comes from thee I say none at all either great or small 184. From thee O Lord alone I have all that I have therefore me and all mine I confesse and acknowledge is all thine 185. How weary Ah how weary am I of my self and yet not so weary as I would be because I keep not thy Laws 186. How loathsome Ah how loathsome am I to my self and yet not so much by much as I would be because I love thee not O God my God as I would and as I should love thee 187. That God is what he is is the greatest and chiefest joy of all those that love him fear him know him and have given up themselves unto him 188. The presence of God which is Communion with him through his Holy Spirit is the feast of fat and pleasant things yea the Feast of Feasts unto that Soul and every Soul that hath truly tasted of him 189. In his presence is all joy unspeakable joy and from his right hand flow continual pleasures for evermore 190. The good and the only good that a soul in God desireth chooseth longeth for and panteth continually after being ever hungry and a thirst to enjoy is in some measure to be like him in all things alwaies to be conformable unto him to put him on and that he may never put him off 191. The goodnesse of God is suc ah souls only goodnesse the glory of God is such a souls only glory the honour of God is such a souls only honour the wisdom of God is such a souls only wisdom the riches of God is such a souls only riches and the love of God is such a souls only love God being only his his only good his only all in all alwaies All that is Gods is dear and near unto him yea is his dearest and his nearest of all things either in Heaven above or on Earth below his cause such a soul makes his and his truth and waies he is so wedded unto as he only joyeth in the remembrance of them and for that he is by his Holy Spirit thus strictly wedded unto them having chosen them for his Love his delight his refreshings and rejoycings having his heart in some measure according to Gods heart and his mind according to the mind of God 192. All that is in all creatures both in Heaven above and here on Earth below is from God all their strength is from his strength all their Power from his Power all their might from his might all their wisdom from his wisdom all their love from his love and all their lovelinesse from his lovelinesse all their goodnesse from his goodnesse and all their greatnesse from his greatnesse all their riches from his riches and all their peace from him who is the God of Peace All their rest from him who is their rest all their joy from him who is the God of Joy all happinesse felicity and blisse from him who is all happinesse in himself and is his own felicity and blisse Thus from Gods all all Creatures Saints and Angels have their all and therefore they return unto him alwaies as all due is all Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving for ever and for ever 193. Ah God how great is thy greatnesse how good Ah how good is thy great goodnesse how deliciously sweet is thy sweetnesse how lovely Ah how transcendently lovely is thy lovelinesse how beautiful Ah how beautiful is thy beautifulnesse Who Ah who is a God like unto thee our God abundant in lovingkindnesse alwaies doing good 194. Ah most gratious and most glorious Lord God full of all grace and all glory thou art all fulnesse of all blessednesse all the blessed are all blessed in thee even from thy ever blessed blessednesse 195. The Lord would not give me the World at full till he had first fully given me Heaven to the end that I might not love what I should not but what I should that I might not love most the lesse but the most that is having the true knowledg of the worth of heaven I might chuse it prize it love it and make it my whole choyce delight and love for if the Lord had first given me my fill of the World I should doubtlesse have satisfied my self therewith and rested on it and sought only after it and not have minded Heaven nor the things in Heaven I should have made these low things here below the highest things in my esteem and choyce and sought no other Heaven than thus to have lived on earth possessing earthly things 196. But now blessed be God for his goodness though I have earthly things in abundance I esteem account and prize them but as the things of earth even as durt dung and drosse compared with the things of Heaven yea with those things of Heaven that God giveth here on earth to those that love him for he that hath seen that hath tasted and that knows the one and the other must needs acknowledge confesse and say Ah how low are all these things here below when compared with the things above they are all even nothing at all empty poor despicable poor low things 197. The Lord would not suffer me to possess the things of the flesh first ere he had feasted resatiated and satisfied me with the things of the Spirit with Heavenly and Spiritual things that I might be able to make a fit choice to chuse fitly and now he alone knoweth my desire my choyce my aime and my end Let him do all that seemeth him good his will and not mine be done 198. Ah Lord make me more and more by much to hate all evil because it is evil altogether hateful and therefore to be hated 199. But Ah Lord God let me much more by much love all good because it is good and only lovely and therefore only to be loved 200. Let me hate all evil because it is not of thee O Lord nor from thee nor according unto thee but contrary yea altogether contrary unto thee and therefore hateful only hateful and to be hated only 201. But let me Ah Lord let me love all good and in
thing that is that they serve not as an instrument at any time to do any evil Fourthly with thy feet that they carry thee not to do the thing at any time that is not altogether right in Gods sight and esteem Fifthly with thy tongue that thou speak not vainly lightly idly foolishly hurtfully slanderously or sinfully But that which shall honour thy God edifie thee here and comfort thine own soul and give thee joy in the day of the Lord Jesus Christ. Sixthly with thy mirde that thou mind only the things of God and what are according to his mind Seventhly with thy heart that thou love not seek not choose not prize not any other thing than what is according to Gods heart Eighthly with all thy affections to love what God loveth and to hate what God hateth and as he loveth and hareth them in sincerity and truth continually Ninthly and lastly but not the least with thy thoughts to suffer no evil vain Idle foolish gadding worldly affection to settle it self there a moment keep out all things thence but thy God and the serious thoughts of his goodness and of thine own badness of his mercy and of thine own misery of his Heaven and of thine own Hell of his glory and of thine own shame of his beauty and of thine own deformity and ugliness of his light and of thine own darkness of his fulness and of thine own emptiness of his fruitfulness and of thine own barrenness of his power and of thine own weakness of his Wisdome and of thine own foolishness of his Patience and of thine own frowardness and pevishness in a word of his riches which is above all over all and more then all things much by much either in Heaven above or earth beneath and of thine own despicable poverty and nothingness at all only a sinful nothing or nothing but sin 7. IS thus thou endeavourest to keep out all things but God and his wayes out of all thy thoughts alwayes thou shalt I promise thee live such a peaceable quiet comfortable sanctified holy blessed life as is unutterable unexpressable for as thy thoughts are so will be thy comforts or discomforts thy joyes and rejoycings or thy reproaches and bewaylings Do thou thus draw near to God and thou shalt find him and feel him and perceive him and see him to draw near unto thee by his graces here which will bring thee to possess himself his Heaven and his Glory for ever hereafter 8. God doth not give us such a measure of grace here to free us altogether from our Corruptions infirmities and failings for these two ends as I conceive first that we be not lifted up above measure as we should be and think our selves to be something and that we are cloathed and rich and full God knoweth that it is better for us to see our Poverty nakedness and emptiness that we may be Inheritors with the Saints in life of all the promises both of things present and to come And not to be shut out of them with the evil Angels and have our Portion in the Lake of fire and Brimstone world without end Again secondly If thus we did live at our hearts ease alwayes without temptations failings or falls we should surely with Peter foolishly make Tabernacles here and not care for any other Heaven for indeed it would be a Heaven But not Ah not such a Heaven as our God hath prepared and provided for us above where we shall see him as he is to be seen and know him as he is to be known If we had here all that we would have or could desire and crave we should not with holy Heavenly enlightned Saint Paul desire to be dissolved and to be with Christ which as he sayed well truly and divinely was much better by much yea best of all And if we were not at times tempted how should we manifest the gifts and graces of Gods spirit in us as now through grace we do by our fightings strivings struglings wrestlings contendings in the heat of Zeal and fire of fervent love in truth to keep our selves as valiant Combatants in the holy Lifts of his Divine and blessed Lawes and wayes not flinching at all or drawing back in the least or moving a foot But standing it out to the very last breath against all our spiritual Enemies and Adversaries within and without of Devils Lusts worlds Lusts and fleshly Lusts and Corruptions And here by constant and faithful engagements in this holy war in this spiritual combate in this Angelical fight for the honour and glory of the Eternal God the King of Kings and Lord of Lords we are confirmed assured strengthned and setled by the whispers and sweet voyce of his holy spirit within us to our souls and Consciences that we shall in due time be made through his strength and continual assistance more then Conquerors and shall at last sit down and rest in peace Triumphantly with the Patriarks Prophets Apostles Martyrs and Saints wearing for ever the Crown of Victory and Glory in Glory and be arrayed with the long white robes of Christs Righteousness worthiness merits and obedience and ever live with him and his bliss enjoying for ever and ever his presence his Heaven yea himself who is the bliss of all bliss the top and Crown of all joy the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven and the glory beauty splendour and sublimity of Glory in Glory 9. See then and consider how much better doth God deal with us and carve to us then we can or would for our selves how much Ah how much better is he to us and for us then we would be to and for our selves how much more over and above hath he prepared for us and will surely give us then we are able to ask then we are able to think wherefore let us learn to let him alone and pray him to deal vvith us and do for us as seemeth him good and alvvayes say in all things so Lord so vvould I have it seeing thou vvilt have it so 10. I also conceive that God suffers us to fall at times for this end or the like that by our fall we may learn and be made to stand the faster to rise the higher and to stick the closer unto him who only is able to hold us up and to keep us from falling me thinks if we did not sometimes fall not that I desire to fall or stumble at all neither to sin in the least to have grace abound but me thinks if we did not at times fall vve should not see his Fatherly love so clearly so greatly in taking care of us to preserve us by protecting of us from greater evils and dangers for when he hath lifted us up againe after we have fallen Ah how do we cling to him how do we hold him fast how do we endeavour to have him alwayes in our sight and how do we cry after him when we perceive any evil of affliction or temptation to
be nigh us and how do we cast our selves down before him at his feet and bewail our infirmities and weaknesses begging strength from him to support and keep us up how do we wonder and are astonisht to see the fire of his wrath kindled against the wicked and against evil doers and yet that such wicked evil doers as we are are not consumed to see fire in the bush and yet the bush not burnt 11. Thus we may plainly see that God seeth all to be good for us yea best of all which he sendeth us causing every thing to work together for our good Ah seeing then that his love mercy and goodnesse is such and so great for us let us always mightily praise him and prize him at the very highest price and give up our spirits souls and bodyes to live to him and for him and unto and for his praise honour and glory it being our glory and our honour our happiness and our bliss that he is such a God as he is To him alone therefore be given alwayes all honour and glory and praise for ever and for ever 12. Laying out is laying up laying out of earthly treasure on earth with a heavenly heart is to lay up heavenly treasure in Heaven according to Gods word and his heart 13. God giveth unto his Children of his own strength to overcome as it were himself he delighteth to be as it were overcome by them And to make us more than Conquerours 14. Ah the mercy the mercy and bounty of God and the misery of man that God being such a God as he is should notwithstanding continue to do so much for man and man nevertheless continue continually to do so much against his God I say against his God even then when he knoweth God to be his God 15. Ah Lord how is it that thou should'st take pleasure to mind us so much as thou dost although thou knowest well our evil minds and how little we mind thee and although thou tellest us by thine own spirit how that we are near and dear unto thee even alwayes in thy mind and heart to do us good for ever and for ever Ah how great is our misery to have such depraved natures and such Devil-like hearts to pay thy merciful kindnesse with such high unkindnesse and ingratitude to thee who art our only good 16. How is it O Lord that thou takest such continual care and payns as it were and art at so much cost to overcome us with thy loving kindnesse and yet we remain so brutish and senslesse stupid and unkind that we will not but refuse to be overcome 17. Ah the misery the misery of man who is never weary nor would never be weary of doing evil yea all manner of evil against his most kind and loving Lord and God who is so good to him as he is never weary nor repents of doing of him good notwithstanding his continual doing of evil or doing of all evil continually 18. A good heart giveth unto the Lord freely cheerfully willingly and rejoycingly of all that he hath and alwaies acknowledgeth and saith of thine own O Lord I will and do give thee 19. When that the Lord giveth unto such a soul Grace he giveth him Glory when he giveth him outward things he praiseth him and enlargeth his bowels of compassion unto the Saints 20. Such hearts desire mightily largnesse of heart or large hearts to give according to what they receive whether it be Spirituals or Temporals nothing is so near or dear unto them as the work of the Lord which is to do his will in all things from the very highest of Grace to the very lowest of things in Nature 21. Ah Lord God let me alwaies bear thee in mind when ever I mind that is think on any thing 22. Let me O Lord I most humbly and unfeignedly beseech thee do every thing that I do as knowing and remembring that thou seest and all knowest the thoughts of my heart and writest down all my words and works on thy blessed book of remembrance 23. Let me do all that I do before men as before thee O God my God knowing that thou seest it and hearest it 24. And all that I take in hand to do O God before thee Let me do it all as if all the men in the World did look on me and see it 25. Norwithstanding the greatnesse and numberless number of my sins thy goodnesse O God was so great towards me as moved thee to have compassion on me and to pour out thy endlesse and everlasting Love and kindnesse in mercy upon me 26. Also O God thou causedst my own sins to appear so great and filthy before me that I was thereby ashamed of my self and confounded before thee 27. So that seeing my self thus polluted filthy abominable and unclean yea abominably unclean I left my self willingly I hated and do hate and do hate my self truly and I imbraced through Grace thy most gratious offers of Grace Love and Mercy heartily and unfeignedly returning unto thee with my whole heart desiring entirely and sinserely an entire change from all evil to all good from my own evil waies to thy most blessed waies that are so good so sweet so beautiful so delightful that since the knowledge of them my soul hath been often delighted refreshed feasted and satisfied in them and with them 28. Ah mercy of mercies that thou wouldest O God be pleased thus in mercy to look on me when I was fit and ripe for all thy Judgments And when thou mightest justly have poured out the viols of thy wrath and fury upon me with the greatest indignation that then even then to kindle the flames of Love in my heart from the continual burnings in thine O God in thine to love fear seek adore and serve thee unfiegnedly with my whole heart Ah what mercy to this mercy 29. Continue O God that art my God and only good continue Ah continue I most humbly beseech thee to be thus merciful unto me that I turn not thy Grace into wantonnesse but in some measure labour and strive to walk worthy of these thy rich and saving mercies with which thou hast and wilt for ever inrich my poor Soul with and save it 30. As a natural Father a Father in the flesh is and must be still a Father and a child a child so me thinks it is with God our Heavenly and Spiritual Father he having once begotten us and we are born again and are become his children by the Grace of Adoption Justification and Sanctification he must be still our Father and we his children unto Eternal Salvation Though we do many times as fleshly children not alwaies do the will of their Fathers in the flesh not please them alwaies not satisfie or delight them nor give them content yet notwithstanding they are still children nor they cannot cease to be children nor their Father to be their Father even so though we do not alwaies do
shall find sin dead then will I say as the Lord liveth and because he was put to death and now liveth I shall live also 62. Sin being thus banisht and cast out then shall I see my self free and taken O Lord into Covenant with thee then will I say I am no longer under the Law but under Grace which gratious favour O Lord do me that I may henceforth and for ever live unto and for thine Eternal honour and glory 63. Ah Lord God that wert fastned to the Crosse for my sins and to save my poor Soul fasten my sins there and let them never get loose again and Ah Lord let my Soul live ever in thee and possesse thee ever 64. Ah Lord that raignest over all Principalities and Powers reign I most humbly beseech thee over all these Princes and Powers that have Dominion over me that I may be brought into subjection unto thy most holy Laws and live obediently keeping all thy Divine Commandments That thou O Lord God who art God over all blessed for ever and ever maiest be my God ever over all and blesse me also for ever and for ever that I may ever live in thee and thee in me Amen Amen 65. If we be so willing to unstrip our selves of our cloathing at night and to lye down on out beds naked to uncloath our selves of all our glory and honour pomp and beauty and to unmind that we are what we are to the end we may enjoy a few hours quiet and rest Ah how willing shall we be to unstrip our selves of all that we possesse and of our lives too when that last long night of death shall come and appear to fetch us up from hence that we may be ever with the Lord who is our Eternal and everlasting Portion our infinite and incomprehensible good and blessed rest and peace which shall be as it were ever beginning and never end nor cease 66. Ah our God that art what thou art and yet wilt be pleased to be ours and to own us for thine own 67. Ah Lord God though others satisfie themselves to hear of thee let me not be satisfied till mine eie see thee 68. Though others O Lord be well contented to know thee as men reach Let me I beseech thee be satisfied only with thine own reachings to know thee as thou art to be known that is to see and find and feel thee in me dwelling raigning and ruling there being all in all and bringing into subjection all powers that lift up themselves in me against thee 69. Ah Lord God how much better is it thus to have thee then to have all things out of thee as the Corn Wine and Oyl of the World 70. What Ah what is Earth to Heaven these things below to the things that are above but as pebbles to pearls as drosse to gold or as a shadow to the most glorious and most sublime substance 71. The one being life the other death the one fully satisfies the other is vain and brings nothing but vexation of Spirit with it 72. We cannot know God till we altogether forget our selves we cannot hear God till we are altogether deaf to our selves and to all things out of God we cannot see God till we are stark blind to all things besides him and that is not of him we cannot find God as he is until we have lost our selves and all things else that concerns him not so do and prosper 73. As we know not our latter end nor are not able to number our daies so are we not at all able to tell what God is unlesse he tell us nor to hear him unlesse he open our hearts and give us understanding not comprehend him until he hath made us one with himself and given us his own Spirit to know him by 74. Thus if we live to move after his call and be obedient unto his voyce we shall so hear that our Souls shall live and for ever rejoyce that we live thus to obey him 75. Ah Lord God Almighty maker of Heaven and Earth thou art the all of all those that know thee they that know thee O God as thou art to be known care to know nothing else thou art altogether alsufficient to content and satisfie them with all pleasures and delights their joyes are full when that they enjoy thee And they then say with Jacob that they have all and with David desire nothing else either in Heaven above or Earth beneath Their wills are so swallowed up into thine that they are not theirs but thine and thus to live to thee and in thee they count it only to live and out of thee to be as if they were not as if they had no being 76. I am a Creature but thy Creature O Lord my God I am a man but created for thy self for thy glory and my Everlasting good and happinesse and shall I know that I am thus such a one and not be satisfied for is there any thing else that can satisfie me thus 77. Ah Lord thou settest before me life and death good and evil light and darknesse Heaven and Earth the things above and the things below Ah suffer me not I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ to prefer pebbles to pearls drosse to gold darknesse to light death to life evil to good Earth to Heaven these low things here below to those high and most transcendent glorious things above But let me give my self to thee O God that hast provided and given such rich rare and pretious things to me enjoying them let me not care seek for or mind these having thee let me be fully satisfied and rejoyce evermore with unspeakable joy 78. Being thy favourite O God who art King of Kings and Lord of Lords living in thy fear and favour shall I not rejoyce much more by much than they do or can do that are but favourites to men and have but their favour they shall all pass away but thee and thy word of grace ingrafted in me shall endure for ever and for ever 79. Ah Lord God pour out of thy self into me more and more that I may be made to rejoyce alwaies with unspeakable joy yea that my joyes may be full 80. Let me O Lord rejoyce much more in despising these things here below than in prizing of them and to have a heart to trample them under my feet than to set them up in my thoughts and affections These being low as they are let me O God keep them alwaies under my feet and trample on them as on durt and dung minding these high and holy things above which thou givest only in love and to those only whom thou lovest 81. Ah Lord God swallow me up into thy self that I may be found there naked and empty of all things out of thee and besides thee so that I may only possesse thee my only good blisse and blessednesse 82. Ah Lord God set alwaies before my eies mine Eternal and
and to whom thou hast manifested thy self Therefore the Angels those glorious knowing Creatures endeavour to pry into all thy misteries Such an endlesse and bottomlesse delight there is in them all from the greatest to the very least of all 169. This indeed is such a high and glorious Mount from which we may justly desire never to come down but to have there our abiding place A Tabernacle to dwell in for ever and for ever not only to behold the glory of our Lord but the Lord himself of all our good and our glory 170. Ah Lord God that art the wisdom of the wise the strength of the strong the honour of the honourable the power of the powerful the might of the mighty the riches of the rich the goodnesse of those that are good the blessednesse of the blessed the beauty of the beautiful the joy of those that rejoyce the light of those that see thy light the Crown and the glory of those that are in glory Thou only art and there is none besides thee our God even God blessed for ever and for ever 171. Ah Lord I know and am assured that it cannot be better with me than to be with thee 172. And to be with thee here on Earth whilst on Earth thou knowest O God that I esteem it to be my only Heaven 173. Let me thus have thee I say alwaies have thee thus and thou knowest O Lord that knowest all things that I have all that I would have for thou only art all mine all 174. Ah that thou wouldst O God take all things from me that hinder thy blessed approach to me and that causeth me to draw back from thee 175. Ah Lord thou knowest that there is nothing that I have but I most willingly offer thee and would cheerfully give thee to have thee 176. My life is not dear to me at all to spend for thee thou knowest O God my God that I account it a thing of nought If thou wilt have it O God take it for I confesse it s thine and not mine 177. Yea I trust that all mine is thine that I am thine all both Spirit Soul and Body and that thee O God and all thine is mine both thy Kingdom power and glory for ever and for ever 178. Ah blessed change to be thus changed into all blessednesse even so as to have the Lord God for our everlasting Portion 179. Weary me O Lord God weary me more and more of my self that I may be dissolved and be with thee which is best of all 180. For out of thee O God my heart is not satisfied neither can any thing but thy self satisfie it either that is in Heaven above or on the Earth below 181. What O Lord what shall I say unto thee thou knowest all things and of me and my heart more than I can tell thee make me and it O God such as thou wilt have me to be that thou maiest ever own me for thine own 182. Ah Lord let me be alwaies on the wing after thee yea let me pursue hard after thee continually let me run and not grow weary and walk and not faint 183. O God that art my God heat I beseech thee my affections increase my desires build me up that I may be a living stone in thy house and ever speak loudly thy praises 184. Ah Lord God let me alwaies have before me Heaven and Hell let me see Heaven as it is prepared for the Just and Hell as it is prepared for the unjust Heaven for those that ever eied it and rejoyced in it aud Hell for those that never feared it nor believed it but by their ungodly lives lived as if there had not been either a Heaven to recompence the Godly or a Hell to punish the ungodly 185. Ah Lord cause me alwaies to eie those things that are invisible that eie never saw that ear never heard nor that ever entred at any time into the heart of any man to conceive even those endlesse everlasting joyes that thou hast O God prepared in Jesus Christ and laid up for all those that love thee 186. Let me Ah let me alwaies hearken to hear that sweet and blessed voyce of thy Holy Spirit within me saying of all the glory that is in glory these are all thine yea all that is mine is thine and thou art mine 187. Ah Lord let me never forget that all these earthly things must passe away from us in a moment in the twinkling of an eie But that our Souls are immorral and shall live for ever and ever in endlesse unexpressible joyes or endlesse everlasting unexpressible Torments 188. How low ah how low are the conceptions of any brain yea the words of men or Angels to expresse and shew forth the life to come either of the one or of the other of those beloved of God that shall ever live and abide in his Love which is in himself or for those that are so hated by him as shall for ever be cast out of his blessed presence and enjoy the cursed wretched company of the Devils and his Angels in burning and unquenchable flames where shall be yelling and roaring weeping and wailing curses and horrid blasphemies against that God and his goodnesse which they know is holy just and good and this as fuel shall feed that fire that cannot be quenched and give life to that gnawing worm an accusing condemning Conscience that shall never die and thus those poor Souls must and shall live everlastingly 189. Ah Lord God give me Faith to believe and grace to repent that I come not into this place of torment but for ever enjoy those eternal and everlasting joyes that thou hast from all Eternity prepared and wilt only give unto those for whom thou hast prepared it 190. Come Lord Jesus come quickly and fill me and feed me and satisfie me here with thy good things that I may ever live to enjoy them and thee 191. Thy appearances O great God are like thy self yea they are thy self but few I fear there are that thus see them and know them thus thy power thou shewest most in weaknesse in such as see confesse and acknowledge themselves to be weak for thou makest the weak strong and causest many times the very meanest and simplest even those according to the knowledge of men that know least to know most for thou hidest thy self from those that seek that knowledge that pufeth up but revealest thy self and shewest thine appearance as the Sun at noon day to those that deny themselves and seek only that Wisdom to know thee that they may give up themselves unto thee 192. Thus O God thou feedest the hungry but the rich thou sendest empty away thou confoundest the wisdom of the wise but makest glad the hearts of thy holy ones which are the humble ones 193. Let me not O God be cast down to doubt of thy Love how low so ever thou shalt cast me nor lifted up above measure
how high soever thou shalt raise me 194. Ah Lord God let my knowledge be that thou livest in me and I in thee that thou art mine and that I am thine 195. Ah Lord destroy the adversaries and enemies of my Salvation here which is thy shining manifesting and appearing in me unto me my knowledge of thee to be mine and I to be thine my dying to self to flesh and World to all that is not of thee and my living only to thee O God the God of my Salvation to thee to thee 196. My hereafter Salvation I know that none nor nothing can hinder me from I shall I know enjoy thee O God possesse thee behold thee know thee and see thee as thou art to be seen and known I say and am sure that nothing is able or shall hinder me from this blessednesse which thou hast prepared for me 197. Ah were it not for the enemies of our Salvation which are our own fleshly lusts and vile affections which fight and warr continually against thee O God our Salvation in us we should see know find and feel the same Salvation ever here as hereafter we should contemplate thy beautiful beauty and thy most glorious glory here even as in glory hereafter 198. Ah Lord God fight then on my behalf consume and destroy wirh an utter destruction all these my enemies which hinder here this my so great Salvation consume and make wast all their powers and deliver my poor Soul because I trust in thee and in thy great name which are thy faithful promises 199. As a Fountain gives freely without intermission or constraint but the natural power or fulnesse that forceth even so should we that live in God and possesse him and his fulnesse be alwaies giving and communicating of what we have And as a fountain that is stopped a while being hindred of continuing its largesse doth as it were during that space make or lay up provision to be more larger in its bounty even so me thinks should we be and do if for some time occasion or opportunity present not but we are as it were stopped from giving being unstopt that is occasion presenting it self to our charity we should shew forth by our grosse streams of largenesse in giving that the restraint of not having occasion was a constraint and against the supernatural now natural faculties of our Souls affections 200. If thus we were alwaies communicating and when we find not occasion so to do had in us alwaies a vehement earnest burning desire to give Ah how like should we be unto our good God and Heavenly Father who gives continually and is never weary nor repenteth Glory to God In Bourdeaux Ann. 1661. 1. The love of God is the best of Heaven the very glory in glory 2. The love of God makes all things lovely to all those that know that they are his beloved 3. Gods love is sweeter than the hony or the hony comb much more desired and to be desired more by much then all fine gold and the most pretious Pearls 4. Gods love is better then Wine to comfort the heart it is the fatnesse marrow and sweetnesse of Heaven that feeds feasts and solaceth the soul. 5. There is nothing in Heaven above to be compared to Gods love 6. And all things that are here below Ah how much below are they all to the love of God 7. He that hath or is in the love of God hath all God for God is all love 8. Ah Lord God love me then so that I may be filled with love to love thee as I should love thee to fear thee as I should fear thee to honour thee as I should honour thee and to obey thee as I should obey thee in all things in spirit soul and body by all my thoughts words and actions now henceforth and for ever more Amen 9. Ah Lord God how unspeakably great is thy love to all thy Children and Servants turning all things to their good even the very worst of things their sins 10. God sheweth his great love unto us how he loveth us by shedding abroad his love so in our hearts as we are made thereby to love him for naturally we love him not therefore did he not give us love to love him we would nor could never love him 11. Ah powerful love that makes of us haters to become true lovers to love him in very truth whom we hated truly 12. Yea those that have the love of God thus in their hearts love him so as it may be truly sayd of them that they love nothing else for they love him above their goods or good name above their Children above their Wives yea much more and above their very lives They can and easily do when called thereto give up all to him and for him his love doth constrain to love him again the heart is so in love with him finding him so lovely that it cryes out continually for more love that it may love him more for nothing comforts such souls as Gods love they make and account his love as himself and himself to be his love and being thus loved by him and living thus in his love they live in him and he in them which is the very life of their lives and the very bliss and Heaven of their Heaven 13. Such is the love of God unto us his Children that he swallows us up and houseth us in himself that we may be all his and he all ours that we may put him so on as be made like him and partake continually of him which is our Crown and glory yea our Crown in glory which will make us shine more beautiful and glorious then ten thousand Sons 14. Cause me O Lord God to declare what thou wilt have me to declare cause me to believe what thou wilt have me to believe cause me to know what thou wilt have me to know and inable me to do all that thou wilt have me to do that I may be filled with thee to live to thee and in thee to thine Eternal honour praise and glory so be it O Lord so be it Amen Amen 15. Goe forth O God go forth before me that I may follow thee where ever thou goest that thou wilt be unto me a light by night in the mid'st of my natural darknesse which is darker then the blackest night and be also unto me a fire by day in the mid'st of thine own light in me which is clearer and brighter then the brightest day that I may burn O God in the Sacred and Divine flames of saving knowledge and obedience unto my lives end 16. Instruct me O Lord in thine own Lawes and write them so upon my heart that I may never depart from them 17. Feast me and fil me O Lord so with thine own self that I may be all thine and thou all mine 18. It is the spirit of Christ or Christ in the Spirit which is perfect God living in us
of all the sons of Adam dry bones rottenness filthiness barrenness uncleanness naughtiness emptyness unsavoury salt a well without water a broken cistern that can hold no water impurity unholiness all evil and altogether all evil alwaies without and within in Spirit Soul and body all my thoughts words and actions and that continually I sincerely confess and proclaim unto thee O God and before Angles and men that there is nothing in me as I am in my self which doth or can deserve the least of all thy mercies not the least look of Love not the least smile nor glance of one of thine eies O Lord in favour nor to be admitted to look up to Heaven or call thee O God Father not to expect the least admittance into thy glorious presence Thou maiest O God thou maiest most justly reprove and reproach me openly and take all my Prayers Petitions and what else soever and as dung throw them in my face to my everlasting shame and confusion and to thine own honour glory and praise thy Judgment would be just right and good and all both good and bad must and would applaud thee for it and my own Soul and Conscience would say Amen thereunto for there is not one of thy Divine Commandments and most holy Laws but I have broken again and again wittingly willingly knowingly and presumptuously I have often cast thy precepts behind my back and trampled them under my feet I have often O God I confess I have often turned thy grace into wantonness quencht the sweet and blessed motions of thy Holy Spirit hated to be reformed chose the waies of Hell death and destruction for body and Soul and run knowingly and wilfully out af the waies of Heaven blisse and everlasting rest and happiness I would not that thou shouldest reign over me who art the Lord of Life and Glory I have profan'd thy house thy Sanctuary thine Ordinances thy Word and Sacraments thus even thus and a thousand times worse have I rebelliously and traitorously acted against thy Soveraignty and Power though I knew that thou wert Lord over all and above all even God blessed for ever and for ever by whom I did live move and had my being Ah Lord I know well that thou knowest all that I have ever done against thee or would have done I know well that nothing is or can be hid from thee thou seest into the dark corners and crannies of our hearts thoughts and affections thou knowest what I am and what I would be and how I should have thus continued unto my lives end hadst thou not in love and mercy puld me out of the everlasting burning as a brand out of the fire If thou hadst not O God come in to my help and succour the Devil had devoured me the Devil had destroyed me for ever and for ever for I was his captive his vassal his slave I did his will I obeyed his commands I did even run when he bid me go But ever praised be thy transcendent glorious name O God of all goodnesse and Father of Love mercy and compassion that wert pleased to make my calamity and extremity thine opportunity that then even then when thou sawest that all help out of thy self was in vain thou shouldest be pleased to come and succour me and set me free to break the fetters and chains by which I was led as a most miserable caitif and captive almost into Hell it self thou hast O God thou hast broken the snares and I am escaped thou hast delivered my Soul from death and my Songs shall be to praise thee whilst I live I will praise thee O Lord my deliverer and never keep silence rather would I that my tongue should cleave to the roof of my mouth than not declare the mercies and the loving kindnesse of thee my God to my poor soul and I trust as well as pray and beseech thee O my God and Father in Jesus Christ that thou wilt daily put new Songs of praise into my mouth and that thou wilt in some measure inable me to speak fitly worthily and opportunely of thy gratious dealings towards me that those that hear and know thee may with me labour to be more affected and delighted with thee and prize thee yet at a far higher prise and that other that hear and know thee not may so hear as that they may resolve to seek thee with us and may see thee to be the fairest of ten thousand yea the only fair lovely beautiful and desirable But O incomprehensible unconceivable unexpressible goodnesse love and bounty the Ocean and Fountain of all bliss blessedness and happiness how can I how shall I worm I nothing I speak of thee and of thy gratious dealings unto my poor Soul O the heighth depth length and bredth of thy Love it is as the Heavens for heighth as Hell for depth as Eternity for length and as from Everlasting to Everlasting for bredth nay all this is far short of it it is much more than all this by much for it is thy self O God thy only self thy very self that thou hast given me thy Kingdom and thy Glory and not only in Heaven hereafter but even now now hast thou done this for my poor unworthy Soul having often fed feasted and solaced my Soul with those ravishing joyes that thou hast laid up and prepared for those that unfaignedly love thee thou hast in thy goodness hounty and Love often caused me to tast of that hidden Manna that bread of Life and to drink of those Rivers of pleasures that flow from thine own right hand thou hast many times as it were carried my Soul into that mountain of happiness where I have seen thy glorious back parts thy gratious transcendent goodness and have beheld in the Spirit the Celestial Canaan the new Jerusalem the City of God even God in man communicating himself unto him for Christ the hope of glory is in us dwells in us and makes his abode there which is thy Tabernacle O God thou hast not only given him for us on the Cross but thou continually continuest to give him unto us to crucifie our sins and sinful lusts and affections in us to put them to death that he himself may live and reign and rule in us that we may be thine and thou ours Ah Lord God I praise thee thou hast often given me the seal of thy Love thy Holy Spirit witnessing assuring establishing and perswading my Soul heart and Conscience of the free full and gratious pardon of all my sins past present and to come Thou hast often O God I praise thee thus covered me thus spread the banners of thy Love over me thus made me sit under the shadow of thy branches thus feasted my Soul in thy banquetting house of Love rest peace and joy thus shewn me thy beauty and thy glory thus allured me and tied me fast unto thy self with the cords of thy Divine Love thus shewn me thy great
inspire and teach me to direct and instruct me by thy holy spirit that I may yet prize thee and praise thee for thy late great and sweet mercyes pouered and showred down so gratiously and plentiously into my heart and soul on my bed of sicknesse Ah how greatly hast thou been pleased to strengthen and comfort me and to make me to rejoyce in and over all my paines yea making the thoughts of death and that King of terrors to be pleasant and comely in my eyes Ah the Mountains of the Mountains the Floods Rivers Wells and Springs of true joy that thou hast been pleased O God in Jesus Christ by thy holy Spirit to Communicate unto my soul heart and Conscience feasting and filling me in the assurance of thy gratious and Divine love and the pardon of all my sins the Floods O God of thy most sweet and blessed presence have often covered me and swallowed up my soul into the Ocean of thy unexpressable and infinite goodness Thus even thus thou raisest up those that are fallen comfortest those that are afflicted healest those that are sick strengthenest those that are weak inrichest those that are poor cloathest those that are naked and settest poor Prisoners free that they may freely rejoyce in thee and this joy I am sure none can nor none shall take from me for being thus redeemed and made free by thee O Christ we are free indeed and shall with thee enjoy perfect freedome and Liberty And now O Lord God what shall I render unto thee for all thy many and special mercyes which thou hast been pleased so richly gratiously freely and plentifully to pour down upon my poor soul and body I have nothing to offer thee but what is already thine own all is thine O God I confess all mine is thine and I am thine give me I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ who is worthy a heart according to thine own heart that I may walk worthily before thee all the remainder of my dayes not turning aside or going astray to the right hand of pleasures or the left hand of profits and that I may make it my daily food to keep thy holy Lawes yea my Heaven here on earth to do thy will on earth as it is done in Heaven Let henceforth all my thoughts words and actions tend to honour and glorifie thee my good God and Heavenly Father making thine honour only my honour and thy glory my glory redeeming the fore past time of my life by an exact serious careful watchful and holy walking in thy most holy wayes and never be truly satisfied till thou hast alâ—ogether sanctified me in spirit soul and body so that I may alwayes see my self in thee and thee in me and know my self to be thine and thee to be mine Ah Lord thou knowest all my thoughts affections and desires yea my very heart what then shall I say unto thee make me I beseech thee such as thou would'st have me to be fit me for thy self and take me to thy self do for me what thou knowest to be best for me that I may glorifie thee not what I will but all that thou wilt both on soul and body that I may live that life and dye that death by which I may glorifie thee most is all and the only desires of my heart and soul so be it Lord so be it Amen Amen Ah Lord God that knowest all things thou knowest what is my end and ayme in publishing this thy work thine it is and I trust thou wilt own it and therefore I seek no other power to patronize or protect it and thou owning of it I care not who disown it thou esteeming of it I care not who dis-esteem it thou approving of it I care not who disapprove of it and that thou wilt do this and blesse it too unto the hearts of many O Lord I believe and therein rejoyce that it shall prove a Cordial to some and a Corrisive unto others a plaister of healing to some and a sharp Lance to make the wound deeper of others even as a savour of life to some and of death to others to cast down some and to raise up others ' to condemne some and to justifie others to give trouble to some and peace to others for some scoffing deriding Ishmaels rayling Shemeies sinful Critical censures I cannot but think it will meet within this sinful ignorant Nation and times because it hath not the false visage on which they prize that is the invention and flourishes of the brain of humane Wisdome for such Ah Lord it is not intended neither by thee I know nor by me so I shall not I trust care for or be a whit troubled at such Curs snarling or barking for power I know they shall not have to bite or hurt me But some true Nathaniels in whom there is neither gale not guile some spiritually wise unto Salvation that are able to judge of all things having that anointing in them that is truth and no lye and which teacheth and instructeth them in the truth many such I hope and trust it shall also meet with and for them and for them only it is I hope by thee O Lord my God intended and so thou knowest it is by me that they with me may together Laud and praise thee and give thee the honour due unto thy holy name for all thy gracious works of wonders wrought in and on my poor soul. I know O Lord that what thou hast thus in the abundance of thy mercies given me is not for my self alone neither may I monopolize it to my self hide away this my Talent in this my house of Clay not keep this Star or rather Sun-light from others but thou expectest and requirest I know well that as I have freely received so that I freely impart of it and give it as thine unto others that I should refresh them with the same refreshing wherewith thou hast refreshed my poor unworthy soul and comfort and make glad their hearts with the same comforts that thou hast made glad and comforted mine and give them to eat and drink of that true bread and water of life wherewith thou hast so abundantly and frequently fed feasted solaced and refreshed me and as it were inrich them with the true riches of saving knowledge to know thee the true God and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent which thou hast I praise thee in some measure caused me to know to my Everlasting comfort thus even thus I am sure O God is thy good will and pleasure that I Communicate and forget not what thou hast in so much love Communicated unto me impart unto them all that thou hast imparted unto me And I praise thy goodnesse O God for that thou hast given me a heart in some measure heartily to desire it and longingly and lovingly to imbrace with much comfort joy and content all occasions whatsoever to do it unto all without any respect of persons to the
poorest and meanest Creature according to the flesh as well as unto the highest in degree and honour among men and that their Conditions blessed be thy Name makes no condition with me for I account my self in very truth Servant and Debtor unto all both bond and free young and old and would with all my heart and soul do for any of them what thou requirest and Commandest yea me thinks I would give them what I have and be without it that they might have it I would be hungry and thirsty and poor and naked to feed refresh cloath and make rich their souls I would most sincerely and willingly that they had all of them a double Portion of the gifts and graces of thy holy Spirit which thou hast given me to the end it might be well with them and they might doubly praise thee Ah Lord Stamp on their hearts the seal of thy Divine love hide them under thy most sacred and glorious pavilion that they may be kept safe from the evil day and from the evil one who continually seeketh to devout them swallow them up O Lord into thy self that they may be ever secure dart O God a beam of thy Divine love that by its reflection they may have love to love thee again as thou lovest them not as to measure or degree that I know well is in none either on earth or in Heaven nor cannot be the most blessed Saints Angels Arch Angels Cherubins and Seraphims were the love of all those lovely blessed and glorious Creatures emptied into one alone then even I know his would come short of thine of thy love O God to that Creature whom thou lovest in the least degree to Salvation for thy love is the love of a God who is love that would be but the love of a Creature thine would be from thy self alone that would be from thee and given by thee so that the love which in sincere love I thus in Jesus Christ begg of thee for them is that they may have true love for thee and thine continually that it may continue with them and in them unto the end till that thou shalt so fill them with that first choyce and chiefe grace that they all may be as thou art in a degree all love Ah Lord God confound I pray thee the wisdome of the wise I mean thou knowest the worldly wise bring down their pride and staine their glory such as will go about to condemne what they cannot mend and to marre what they cannot make turn O God their wisdome as thou did'st Achitophels into foolishnesse but preserve them unto the end from such a like end and open the eyes of their understanding that they may see and acknowledge the errors of their wayes and come speedily out of them and before ever converted unto thee that their souls may ever live with thee Ah Lord God what a most pittiful thing is it and of all things to be lamented with and in teares of blood that any poor soul should either live or die in sin that a soul which is of much more value then ten thousand worlds should be for ever lost and undone for such a base vile filthy thing as is sin the very excrements of naughtinesse and by which O God thou that art worthy of all honour art so much dishonoured and the Devil so much honoured Ah how is it to be pittyed and dolefully lamented that so many poor souls should believe lyes and the Father of lyes the Devil before thy word and thy self who art the God of all truth and love how great Ah how great was thy love O God to save poor lost sinners in sparing and giving thy own only dear and beloved Son to the most shameful and most painful death of the Cross to redeem them from sin death Hell and the Devil and hast thou not promised with him to give them all things And Ah how great was thy love O most sweet Jesus who did'st so willingly submit to thy Fathers will and for the glory which was set before thee for us sinners did'st chearfully endure the Cross and despise the shame aud so sits down at the right hand of thy Father to prepare there a place for us and by thy continual intercession to prepare us for that place and this thy sitting down in glory at his right hand shews plain that thou hast done all that is to be done that can be required all as thou said'st when thou gavest up the Ghost is surely finished our Redemption fully wrought and compleated thy Fathers wrath appeased and he well pleased Ah Christ with and in all humility of heart I speak it thou had'st this spirit in thee thou did'st even as it were thus complain ye will not come to me that ye may have life and did'st weep for and over Jerusalem because her day of salvation was past and thy holy spirit in the mouth of thy Prophet complaineth and as it were lamenteth their sad condition saying Ah why will you dye O House of Israel And further how often doth this thy gracious and blessed spirit O God leave as it were thy bosome and comes and sues and wooes us that he may sanctifie and make us chosen and fit Vessels for thy use Ah Lord thou knowest how often such like considerations have sadened my soul that thou who art the God of truth should'st be thought by so many as it were a lyer for thy Word is not believed by them but made as a thing of nought trampled under foot and cast behind the back and Drunkards Whoremongers and such vile persons words be received entertain'd taken up welcom'd and preferr'd before thee O God before thee and thy Word and all thy most gratious offers of grace Now if such by thy good and gratious Providence come to read these words or of that which thou hast made me to write I humbly pray thee in Jesus Christ thy Son to pity him and pardon him Ah fetch home O God all windering Prodigals that are in far Countrys that is far from thee feeding on Hogs and Harlots which is on their own fleshly Carnal Lusts and vile affect ions Ah Father I know thee to be full of love and compassion Ah be thou pleased to do for all such as thou hast done for me for such was my most miserable and woful condition But I praise thy glorious Name thou hast washt and cleansed and sanctified my soul. Ah be thou pleased to let them all tast of the same love and kindnesse let them drink all of the same Cup and eat of the same meat and be cloathed with the same Robes and have a like ring of Love put on their fingers Ah let them O Father Lord of Heaven and Earth be thus welcomed by the and owned by thee for thine own and adorn'd thus gratiously with thine own glory that thou mayest delight in them and they may make thee only all their joy delight and rejoycing Ah that the