his way to doe as he hath done to suffer patiently and willingly without the least gainsaying or resistance such grievous things Christ was as a sheep before the slaughter David under afflictions was dumbe also because he saw the Lord did it and not man so Aaron when he lost his sons suddenly held his peace And good old Eli said It 's the Lord let him do as he pleaseth In this sweet spiritual frame was Job when he said it was the Lord that took from him in the flesh who could give him much more in the Spirit All that they suffered was not so much from an enemy as a Father for their good who seeing how apt the current of their affections was to run more to them then to him their heart being not so fixed upon him as he would have them but very apt to be divided and to wander from him like ours as we are creatures therefore he sends afflictions as messengers to fetch them home to his Sheepfold Once this word came in Power to me when I was very sad O soul grieve not grieve not for thy Brother precious in my sight is thy Brothers death though grievous to thee and others was not Christs sufferings much more terrible and think not strange your firy tryalls for what is befallen you is common to all in this life and the same afflictions are accompanied to your fellow-members in the world Think of Samsons death a good man who died among the Philistins and seemingly in anger to be revenged on them for his two eys Consider these things and lay them to heart and sorrow no more as one without hope but know all things shall worke togeather for good even this unto ye therefore be still and know I am God doing whatever I please in heaven and earth and all places his time was not in thy hands or friends or his own but in my hands A sparrow cannot fall to the ground nor a hair off the head without my knowledge When these things was spoken to me I was very restless in my spirit even resolving to spend my few days in silent sorrow not expecting any more Sun-shine days of joy and suddenly the glory of the Lord broke forth thorow some thick darkness bidding me lift up my head and the Lord was pleased to speak to me as sweet as ever telling me he would wipe all teares from my eyes and the rebuke or reproach of his people he would take from off all the earth he had spoken it who would do it Jehovah a fulfiller of Promises therefore let not thy troubled fearfull heart be disquieted or afraid Peace Peace be unto thee I found Christ reasoned with me as once he did with his disciples when they were sad Why are ye troubled and why do such fears and doubts arise in thy heart am not I and my favour more to thee then enjoyments or Relations or any thing thou canst desire though I chasten thee sharply to draw thee neer me yet my favour will I not take from you nor alter my love is not this O soul more then all to give thee my self Who am the Desire of Desires the Beauty of all Blessedness the top of all Royalties even the fulness that silleth all in all who hath made thee beautifull thorow my comlyness though black in thy self under the bondage of coruption yet Lovely as Redeemed Justified and Sanctified my soul was even melted with in me at this sweet and powerful manifestation of love that I cryed out None but a naked Christ and who would not sell all for this Precious Pearl and willingly resigne up all even life it self to Christ who became poor and despised in the worlds eye that we though his poverty might be dignified in the Spirit and made rich in Faith in grace in humility and goodness this is to be heavenly rich in God in love O who would not leave all to follow Chrst for his treasures of wisdom and knowledg and all good things which he gives to his close followers This was one word which was spoken to me also Lovest thou me more then these more then Gold Silver Lands Livings any relations Golden gifts and Graces men or meanes and love not the world nor the things of it love nothing I say equall or above me for he or she that loves any thing more then me is not worthy of me set not thy affections on things below on earthly sensitive things but on Heavenly things above invisible glories If riches encrease set not thy heart upon them My Deare brother was such riches to me that if I could have but enjoyed his life and him spiritually restored to a comfortable state in this life according to my earnest and constant souls desire and the desire of many precious Saints that our God might have been more glorifyed in his life on earth O what riches what a portion of great joy would this have been to my soul none knows but now seeing by this uncertainty and emptyness in all things below the Lord I am forced to say What is riches or the encrease or sweet enjoyment of any creature-comforts to the lifting up of Gods lovely countenance upon us I can say now more feelingly Whom have I in Heaven or in Earth to glory in or stay my self upon but God alone from whom flows all our fresh springs of comfort joy life love and sweetness The Lord I hope by our late chastisements will make us more holy humble thankfull and fruitfull in every good work of God and cause the sword not onely to pierce into our souls but even to divide and sever more between soul and body flesh and spirit Christ and the Creature That nothing may remaine in us but what loves admires and blesses our God alone above all Sir this is all my desire to know more and do and patiently submit to the holy will of our Dear God in all things and to have more single affections to him and his naked glory Christian friend I have written in these papers some poor stamerings or what the Lord hath communicated to me with comfort in weakness through which I have written this to you that you with me may bless the Lord for his precious loving kindness to his unworthy hand-maid I cannot tell whether I may be troublesom to you because so tedious at one time When I begin to write to a Christian friend in this kind I am always much enlarged the more because but slow of speech In these few lines you may perceive a little that many are the troubles of the Righteous and also that the Righteous Lord supports sweetly under them all and in his own best time graciously delivering them out of all These troubles of ours may well be compared to waters even a flood of waters as David said that hath wave upon wave which though it be our Fathers pleasure and our portion to wade thorow yet this is our comfort VVe shall not sink in them
a fellow-member of that mysticall body whereof Christ is the Head O what a mercy is it to be heartily affected with the afflicted to have the same mind which was in Christ in us to have the same love one to another as Christ hath to us in quality though not in quantity The love of the Lord in his people is many times made out to them in an unexpected way to wonderment when they think least of it as Hagar said the Lord looked after her when she looked not after him so doth he to many of his people oftentimes provide and protect them in a way and manner which they cannot but wonder and bless his Name It 's a wonder to mee sometimes to see how sensible one Christian is of anothers sufferings because it 's so rare but when I consider that all the Saints have but one God one Father one Faith one Baptisme one Love one Spirit who dwells in them all and runs thorow them all and conveys it self to all as it pleaseth whether absent or present afar off or neer at hand known or unknown by face Although the Saints are scattered abroad in this wide wilde world and distinct in the flesh from one another yet are they one in the Lord and so love sympathize sorrow and rejoyce together as members in truth of Christs body Christ was of a sympathizing suffering Spirit and such hearts qualities and dispositions he would that we should have therefore he puts his Law of love and kindness into us he takes our humane nature and infuses his divine nature into us Christ bears all our griefs and carries our sorrows and in all our afflictions is afflicted with us and for us O how good is it in our wilderness of trouble to lean upon this our Beloved who can bring us out of them all we are very apt to stumble at the way and maner of Gods dispensations when we have little cause for it if we did but consider that he hath glorious ends in all he doth and suffers for the exaltation of his Name and our sole comfort Though the Lord may cross his people in the way of his providence so that all things may fall alike to all in this World before men yet not in his account hereafter for he may give us to look unto him in his word of Promise and there behold him by an enlightned eye doing all things after the counsel of his own good will and pleasure for his glory and our everlasting comfort beyond and above all outward sense and external hopes as he did to Abraham calling things that are not as though they were I am not so much a worder as an admirer and a little writer of the wonders of God in the deep of affliction to some of my fellow-sufferers who have been bewildered in their spirits as I have been though now through rich mercy in som measure refreshed with the crums of Canaans comfort drops of honey and milk grace and love that flows from our good spiritual land Much of Gods fatherly Dealings and Refreshings I might relate unto you which my hungry thirsty weary Restlesse soul hath known seen and felt in the day of trouble the hour of sad temptations if I had freedom Sir the sharp exercise which hath been upon my spirit since that little unknown book was made of Gods glorious Displayings of light and love upon a poor dark forlorn nothing-creature in an unexpected time I was not then capable of the publishing of it if I had I could not be free fearing how it might be with me afterwards Truly since then I have had a sharp Winter-season mourning for the loss of all that comfort I have been stripp'd so bare of seeming comfort since that I cannot boast of that nor of any comforts but of the God of comforts not of enjoyments or experiences not of any gifts or graces but of the giver alone and of my infirmities and in that Power of Christ which hereby is made more manifest in us the Lord alone is the boast and glory of his people in his Name we set up our Banners and upon him alone shall our mind be fixed and our soul-affections set and not on things below this is to have our hearts above on things remaining not shadowy but substance and our conversation in heaven though we tabernacle in houses of clay in the world When Christ is our only object then but not till then will all below be our abject in comparison of a full God a naked Christ a free Spirit O that it might be all our aimes and ambitions to take up our crosses and follow Christ fully even thorow fire and water for here our God hath promised to be with his people and when we are purged and purified enough he will lead us out into a wealthy place of peace and Joy O that we could walk in our Masters steps without stumbling and do as he did run our race with joy knowing if we run we shall obtaine the Crown which is not to be had on this side the end of it Surely this prize is worth the running waiting for and longing after till we enjoy it Our suffering and Cross is but a little while for a small moment but our glory is for everlasting our reigning for ever Thrice-happy is that soul whom God chuseth for his own in his furnace and chastens in his school happy entering happy in it and for ever happy afterward Blessedness and Happyness is annexed to Gods chastning Blessed and happy is the man God correcteth and teacheth new lessons thereby therefore not to be despised Our loving Father even smiles when we think he frowns upon us when he seems to strike us he stroaks us He doth to us sometimes as he did to Adam convey a precious promise with a sad threatning saying The seed of the woman c. Mercies oftentimes come veiled to us and a sentence of death may pass upon our choicest mercies as did upon Abraham for the tryall of our graces which would not shine so bright if not fire-tryed with Abrahams whose faith love and holy obedience to God after thus tryed shined more eminent and glorious I find our sad visitation known to you Sir was not so much a Punishment as some may call it but rather a strict tryal to try our faith love patience and pure good-will to God whether it be simply and entirely to him without by-ends as Satan would have accused Job to God saying Doth Job love or serve God for nothing also to try our strength what we can do or suffer for God and also to try our wisdom how prudent patient we could behave our selves like true Christians in the loss of all outward enjoyments though deare and precious to us not onely in flesh but in Spirit O what an unspeakable mercy is it to finde and feel God enabling of us to hold out in these firy tryals speaking well of the Name of our dear God
A Wonderful Pleasant and Profitable LETTER Written by Mris SARAH WIGHT To a Friend EXPRESSING The joy is to be had in God IN Great Deep Long and Sore AFFLICTIONS Occasioned by the Death of her Brother the Troubles of her Mother but especially the workings of God in her own heart Published for the Use of the AFFLICTED LONDON Printed by James Cottrel for Ri. Moone at the seven Stars in Pauls Church-yard 1656. To the Right Honourable The Lady FLEETWOOD Madam I So esteem you upon the account especially of God not this World that passeth away I am bold to present this little piece not mine own to your view as suitable in some sort to your former and present state having drank in a degree as of the same Cup of inward sorrow and suffering so likewise of joy and salvation herein mentioned it being the portion of all as saith the Head of all Ye shall indeed drink of the Cup that I drink of Your Ladiships Sympathy together with your Dear and Noble Lord's with the afflicted of all sorts as I have largely and multitudes of others I believe found and this Author I suppose in particular hath occasioned this presented for a looking-Glass of solace and delight to your inward Man by Your Ladiships humbly devoted to GOD on your behalf R. B. Some Apology to Mrs. Sarah Wight Touching the printing of her Letter without her knowledge or consent Chosen of God in affliction and precious HAVing sundry times read over your Letter and found in it what my heart longed after and in God rejoyced greatly in I judged with others in the Light of him the printing of it might be of exceeding use especially now to the many bewildernessed ones to whom it might serve as a VVitness they having none left them as to Man in this cloudy and dark day to lean upon save only their dearly beloved Lord and he neither not alwayes manifest and yet manifest too in a measure in the true and alone Messiah in them the Rock of Ages and the onely Hope This I have done without consulting you about it it being judged by others your Friends and by me also it might have prevented the publishing it through a temptation perhaps of modesty in you but thus making you publick was I know divinely urged of God in many as in order to his own immortal glory and praise appearing in your most most low estate so to the profit and consolation of many the like minded but especially the like afflicted in any degree with you among whom I leave you and my self with you bowing continually as is most meet at the feet of God most holy Amen A Wonderful Pleasant and Profitable LETTER Dear Sir PRecious Christian friend much beloved in the Lord of all love in him I kindly salute you wishing you and your dear Relation with my self and all Saints an heavenly increase of knowledge in the mystery of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ not doubting but as ye have received some of the Spirit so you enjoy daily fresh supplies and at last shall be perfected in the Spirit to the glory of God who hath formed you to shew forth his noble praise Sir in our winter-season of affliction I finde it a Christians crown of rejoycing to retire in the Spirit to hear what God speaks for none speaks or teaches like him never man spake like Christ In this retirement of spirit or silent waiting upon God we shall be able to see and say with the Prophet David that God is good of a truth to his purified sincere single-hearted Israelites in the midst of all troubles under Pharaohs bondage at the Red-sea in the wilderness in the firy furnace doing them unexpected good at all times he is a present help to us and an Ark or hiding-place for us from all storms and tempests I finde there is no condition so sad but there is balm enough in Gilead sutable comfort of supplies in Israels God to revive and raise up a fainting spirit The depths of misery we finde are never beyond the depthless depths of mercies When the Lord is pleased to make bare his holy Arm for the deliverance of his people out of troubles he first lays them very lowe that his work may be more admirable he many times for this very end strips us naked and bare and deprives us of all helps and props belowe that we may thereby learn to make the Lord alone our stay and trust who stiles himself A God that comforteth those that are cast down poor helpless nothings this is the very time a soul may expect great appearances and deliverances from God when its help stands onely in the Name of the Lord. That soul that findes a special presence of God with it in trouble as the children in the firy furnace hath ample cause to bless his Name This gracious presence hath been much with us in moderating the measure of our cross though not in taking it away which I desire to wait the Lords time for in praising him who hath not hitherto suffered it to be above our strength As he moderates the measure so the time it 's but a moment of affliction and light in comparison of the greatness and weightiness of the glory in eternity O what cause have we to bless the Lord who limits both measure and time and is also present in mixing some comfortable Cordial which sweetly allays the bitterness of our heavie crosses and strengthens us to bear it patiently in some measure As the Lord is present in sanctifying a cross so when he hath perfected his noble work in us he will be a present and perfect deliverer of us O what a comfort is it to know we dwell in the especial love of God under the cross as those who are free from it And though a Saint may be cast out of a happie state in the world yet never never out of their dear God's favour O what joy doth this administer to us to know That however it goeth with us yet our Father will deal kindly with us and continually accompany us with his presence seasoning our hearts with grace and mounting our spirits high carrying them forth with pure respects to advance his glory The true-divine soul you know is never satisfied till it 's as neer God as is attainable Truly the nearer we come to him the more we are emptied of sin and all selfishness A Christian's happiness lies in being emptied of all self self refined as well as gross self and in being filled with a full God and the glorious emptying satisfying incomes of his free spirit Certainly that soul that denies it self most seeks it self most for the more it endeavours to advance the Lord in all above all enjoyments experiences gifts graces relations or any creature or creature-comforts the more we exalt our condition in him It 's sweet and but meet upon the revelation of any mercy to yeeld our God all the praise saying Lord as
the benefit comfort shall be mine so shall all the praises and glory be thine Not unto me nor unto any thing acted or done by me but to thee be the whole glory of all who art the author of every good and perfect gift we enjoy It 's an excellent thing to know own and love the Lord above all even in the time of adversity As prosperity should not lift up so adversity should not daunt a Christian When we finde our estate here like a web woven with interminglings of wants and favours crosses and blessings standings and fallings combats and victories and the like which hath and doth accompany a poor soul in its pilgrimage as it did the Israelites of old in theirs Every condition is beautiful in its season Christianity hath its several Offices at several seasons it hath a sorrowful mourning praying time and its rejoycing praising triumphing time when it 's warmed with the glorious sunshine of Gods favour in which consists our eternal life and joy The seasons varieties changes in the outward world lively represent the seasons varieties and changes that are in the inward world of mankinde I daily behold things here belowe true according to Solomon's description living and dying coming into the world and going out of it planting and plucking up killing and quickning wounding and healing breaking down and building up weeping laughing mourning and rejoycing I know you and many of the precious sons and daughters of Sion can experimentally witness the truth of this not onely outwardly but inwardly they by an enlightned eye behold mutability written in every thing of the first man Adams state even in the height of his first glory which glory must and shall dayly yea doth pass away and will till it shall cease to be what it is mixed and fading When this glory shall be abolished then will a more pure lasting glory disclose it self the decreasing of the one makes clear way for the increasing of the other The Lord suffers his poore creature for a season to take quite contrary ways and to fetch contrary steps to throw down all he builds up and another while build up all he throws down yea it s appointed to him to Run thorow so many degrees of death as he hath gone degrees of life and to run thorow so many passages in the dark world as he hath done in the light world one while to make himself an universall transgressor and anon to justifie himself in all his transgression shewing himself to be as he is in all he doth as man a fool an unwise one in all he doth in living dying planting plucking up in weeping and rejoycing a fool in making himself a sinner a Saint till God make him what he will have him to be this or that here and there when and what he pleaseth not what we will but what he will this our Potter may do with us for we are the clay he is our father and we his children at his dispose more his then our own we are his children I say though he may withdraw from us and because of our weakness hide from us for a season the true colour original of things and those various workings by which he doth those things the great Jehovah may put what paint he will upon things and what Dy he pleaseth into us and we with beholding the present colour subject to change with the present eye may be confident in what we see both in judging it and other things by it not rightly knowing him that judges it nor considering what various changes both the eye and colour are subject to undergo That which had a time to be born planted and built up hath a change accompanied to it it hath also a time to die to be plucked up and thrown down like the glory of old Jerusalem or the old first world and there is nothing so deaded or troden under foot plucked up or rased out but shall have a gladsome season a time of quickening glorifying and planting and writing in againe by the finger of God All things are at first brought forth in weakness in the inward world as well as in the outward world saith the Wiseman All things under the Sun are vanity or to have a vain course a while the Lord is perfect in every motion of his both in the inward outward world whatever he doth shall be for ever nothing can be added to it or taken from it but poor silly man like the wild Asses colt is weak and vain the outward and inward man vain yea every motion of his as he is onely man comes to nothing he may seem to be wonderous wise to have notions of great weight even of eternity upon him yet he cannot reach eternity as man being but a vain empty nothing the purposes he hath in him are but poor low shallow things yet he hath his season to take his pleasure in his vain inventions but when these seasons are blown over he is then stripped of all of inside and outside as I have often been and so made naked to divine purpose One breath of the Almighty blasts all the creaturely perfection which we have been acquainted with one appearance of love dissolves the soul to nothing as the Sun doth wax some boast I see of their selfish seeming glory Riches honour parts and abilities and such like which I poor empty nothing cannot do yet I am not troubled at it now I consider what a moth is in these garments and how subject these treasures are to be corrupted and creature-fulness exhausted one grain of that precious faith and one dram of love which the Lord gives his hidden ones is far beyond all other things that we can act or do it 's all of God without our mixtures The Lord having shewn me some of his glory in this particular I beseech him to shew me more for it doth content me and it will suffice my soul more then hid treasures the sensible and full enjoyment of thy Spirit will cause my soul to return satisfied to her rest praising the God of all our mercies not caring what others boast of when thou art become the Crown of my glory the top of all Royalties to me my spirit now breaths out this language says Holy God let who will treasure up to themselves yet will not I that which some love and store up besides thy self of their own excellency I cannot but abhor cast away as filthy raggs of no value every thing that is in me that springs up out of my dry ground that springs not from the sap of thy Holy Spirit If I know my own heart I would not glory in any thing below my Maker and what is of him and conveyed by his Spirit alone into me it rejoyceth my soul much to see the Lord at work gathering all as he hath given me as his own and saving me for his own Name sake and not for any worth or
worthyness in me Justifying me or any unworthyness condemning me O how admirable is it for to find God thus freely and fully loving and saving his poor people and owning all that is his as he hath been and appeared in them and causing all that hath been and sprung from us to pass away for evermore My soul shouts forth with the true spiritualized Christian this voice Dear God as I am a selfish corrupt creature so let there be no profit of all my labor and travel but thou who alone art the Author of every good and perfect gift we enjoy do thou reap the travels of thy soul for its high time for thee to enjoy thy own for my part I cannot but turne from all the fruitless works of my hands all the motions and delights of my Spirit in the inward world of my heart and with as much irksomness and great tiredness of spirit as ever Solomon did in the outward world yet I know every thing is beautiful in its season time and place though nothing is lovely out of it there is a beauty in living when the spring of life is come O how lovely is it thee is also a beauty in death when that season is come it 's as beautyful to see things in Winter as to see them live in the Spring of Summer there is nothing so deformed but when we look upon God in it we see much beauty written in it nor nothing so evil but it hath good on it there is nothing so bad but it 's good in its own order place and season and course nor nothing so good but it 's bad and uncomely out of its place order and season There is a beauty in killing healing weeping in Rejoycing and triumphing but this beauty shines not so glorious out of their seasons as it doth in There is the very nature and exellency of God in every thing that he doth which makes it beautyful for every thing that springs from him savours and tastes of his life and perfection The outward and inward man hath but a poor lowe dark shallow knowledge of the things of God whatever they may pretend to have There is no soul able of it self to reach these things they are onely spiritually discerned and known by the sight of the Spirit it 's by this Spirit onely that the soul comes to know observe and understand the ways and wonders of God in the deeps and his various motions and operations in things which he doth There is nothing seen in the Root by the sense of the creature as it lies or springs from thence or as it returns thither Man as man you know hath onely a brutish understanding of every thing so of God I had not says one the understanding of a Beast as of God himself so of all his motions thoughts actions and intentions in and about things times places and persons seeing onely a present appearance of this or that not knowing what it is whence it came what it means or whither it tends So he judges according to a present outward appearance and shews himself to be what he is and what God will have him to be A fool in himself that the pride of his glory may be stained and God alone exalted Though this be a dark obscure dispensation yet because God will have it so with us this is beautiful in its season as darkness is proper for the natural night so is spiritual darkness for the spiritual night as proper for it as light becomes the day and as truth and substance is proper for it so are shadows and lyes for the night while the night remains it 's as sutable they should remain as when the day dawns the shadows fly away O how clearly doth herein the excellency of Christ of Sion the holy seed appear though they are not exempted from any varieties or changes in the inward or outward world running thorow them yet they still sweetly remain the same being one with the Father they are as he is like him as Seth was like Adam what ever their cloathes their appearances be yet their life and substance is still the same For a season the inward man I find is so benighted and bewildered yea all his life so deaded and his light so put out and his glory darkened that he is made to see and confess that he knoweth nothing as he ought to know nor hath nothing to boast of no more then the outward man and that it 's onely the spiritual man that shall grow up to perfection and live and flourish whether in the seed or grown up For the coming of this full enjoyment of all blessedness happiness longeth my poor waiting soul in a daily expectation upon the God of all our mercies who is coming to fulfill our desires to compleat our glory he comes not with a thought to tarry or go back he comes swiftly with speed leaping to meet his beloved waiting Jacobs to revive their spirits with his loves his wisdom power grace goodness yea all his Riches of grace and glory that they may sing sweetly strongly thorowly fervent and frequent the new songs of Hosanna Hallelujahs blessing and glory power and praise to our God for ever who is the Authour of all our present good and the Omega of our perfect happiness in that heaven of heavens where Just men made perfect take up Sanctuary and assured Rest for ever solacing their souls with their Beloveds loves the riches honors pleasures and soul-delights of eternity that are in the bosome of our dear and precious father in the full fruition of this rest and glory longeth my waiting soul to be where time shall be no more the time of sin sorrow paine death any weakness or imperfection when that which is perfect is come I know all this which is imperfect will be done away yea then there will be no complaining or cause of complaining within or without because all sin and so all sorrow and sighing shall certainly be done away as being momentary the pure language the new melodious tune of Joy and gladness from the Spirit shall be onely sung heard and known to be for ever in the Saints to their Saviour who is our choice our chief our only and dearly beloved One in all without and above all in himself Worthy Sir because Honourable in the Lambs cloathing having put pen to paper with an intent to salute you your neer relation with a few broken fragments gathered up from my Masters table I shall take leave having a little freedom to communicate a few more lines to you hoping it will not be too burdensome to you Sir I cannot but Christian-like thank you for your Remembrances of us at all times though I know you are in covenant with that God who will recompence sevenfold into your bosom for all your labor of undeserved unexpected love your sympathizing from a fellow-feeling of our affliction and others plainly demonstrate you to be
his light the vileness and vanity of every thing which is Excellent within or without us then indeed the soul crys out What have I to do any more with Idols to seek after Bethel after any thing that will not profit but the True Living Immortall God who dwells in everlasting unutterable and unsearchable light and glory without beginning or end Truely when we seek the true God aright we shall finde him to be a certain Light above all Lights which no carnal eye can comprehend and a certain Voyce which none in their creaturely state can conceive of and such a sweet perfume is Christ which no nose of sense can attain unto He is a certain Sweetness above all Sweetness no perfumes Ointments Spices Milk Honey or Manna is comparable to this sweetness though ever so desirable for this is incomparable above and beyond all for ravishing pleasant and satisfying and such an imbraceing is Christ our soul lover which no sensitive feeling can take hold of this pure light of life shineth where no place is to hold it and the Voice of Christ soundeth free where no aire is to help it and his sweet savour yeildeth sweetness and life where there is no feeding on creature-comforts and Christs imbracing is such an imbracing where no armes are ever pluck'd asunder Now when the poor soul hath thus found and enjoyed Christ in the inmost Holy Places of its new heart whom it so earnestly sought for and now entirely loveth now it cries out None none but Christ it now makes account of nothing in comparison of him in whose favour consists its life this is it a soul seeks when it seeks God this is it we love and desire Even a manifestation of that Jesus love who hath saved us from our sins and is Emanuel God with us in all our troubles sorrows tryalls and temptations This blessed man Christ Jesus is our joy and Crown of rejoycing which causeth us to break forth into songs of praises and Hallelujahs glory for evermore to our God Finding all things dead and empty to me when I sought Christ sorrowing as I have mentioned I was afterwards comforted in some measure being made willing to wait in silence in which silence my soul with Hannah poured out my complaint to him whom I know when all failes us doth help us being mighty to save keep and deliver even then for the Lord never leaves his in trouble but supports and delivers out in his appointed time He that sets our faces to Zion will undoubtedly bring us hither in his own time to possess our prepared mansions of glory in his kingdom to live there in praising him to all eternity singing continually form our God to our God whom we have been seeking like the Spouse abroad When he was at home in the secret closet of the heart to which when we return in peace we here finde him in our souls by his Spirit sitting as onely Lord and King in his Throne ruling over all the Powers of darkness in us O for ever happy are they whom God is thus nigh unto in all things filling them with all joy in himself through believing O can any soul that hath or doth taste or enjoy but ever so little of the Lord say his consolations are small but very great and precious full of life love Power like himself and full of vertue and streaming sweetness like Jonathans hony which revives the drooping spirits of sad hearts in their dry barren sad solitary wilderness-condition Though this is the Fathers will to have us pass thorow this state in such harsh and difficult ways to the eye of sense and reason which would much terrifie and perplex a carnal heart yet our God hath such sweetness to mingle with them which makes them very passable to his Beloved whom he leads thorow for the bondage of Egypt he can make tolerable and the wilderness with all the intricacies thereof he can make easie who makes rough places a plain way for us to go thorow our Journeys end Canaan also with the high walls and strong enemies thereof even the children of Anak whose very sight struck terror even these our God did and doth make Conquerable to his Christ and anointed ones Christ by his death hath made his people Conquerors over all enemies and oppositions by his death he hath brought to light life strength joy glory and immortality though he was as we are oftentimes put to death in the flesh yet he was quickned in the spirit it 's this Spirit alone that satisfies quiets and composeth a poor troubled soul when none nor nothing can and it 's this holy Spirits work to lead us out of one truth into another out of one dispensation into a higher and at last possess us of perfect rest and happiness out of which rest I have been much bewildered and perplexed in my spirit from the sense of a dead lost condition not knowing what to do or which way to turn my self for comfort About four years ago I was very sick and weak in which weakness the enemy took advantage to shew his power and set upon me strongly tempting and troubling me by raising new feares and doubts in my heart which caused me to conclude that all former discoveries of love which the Lord had communicated to me was but lying vanities and delusions this trouble was beyond all my former childish troubles for my old life was not so much captivated as my new one my spirit and truely this temptation lay with some confidence upon me that I knew not what to say or do I thought sure the smoaking flax that little spark of grace was now extinguished wholly but I can through rich mercy say Blessed and for ever praised be Jehovah who hath so sweetly unbosomed himself and unboweled his precious love to his unworthy hand-maid telling me that all my creaturely mutability should not nor could not alter his unchangable love for whom he loved once he loved for ever to the end and in the end endless ever out of sin into grace and out of grace into glory neither should any of the water which I had cast upon the smoaking flax quench it by disowning and doubting of the realitie of my state and the truth of those precious appearances I had enjoyed from the Lord this smoaking flax was God beginning a good work in my soul who would perfect it for his praise O how strongly doth the renewings of the Lords love to us engage our hearts to honour him all our days in righteousness and holyness who notwithstanding all our unworthyness and greatness of sins sins after conversion as well as before sins often reapeated as well as once onely committed yet is our loving friend who loveth us freely faithfully and constant even in the height of our unconstancy to him as he vvas pleased to shevv me by not leaving me destitute of his mercy and his Truth in my sad sorrovvs By this firy contest I finde that vvhat