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upon_o it_o it_o be_v strange_a how_o a_o transient_a thought_n will_v work_v and_o give_v a_o sudden_a stroke_n to_o a_o remote_a and_o ill-affected_a weaken_a part_n of_o the_o body_n the_o mind_n work_v not_o alone_o by_o the_o heart_n and_o brain_n as_o be_v vulgar_o conceive_v but_o the_o praecordia_fw-la and_o all_o part_n more_o or_o less_o contribute_v and_o be_v affect_v therein_o and_o god_n have_v bless_v i_o with_o a_o mind_n so_o strong_a that_o it_o ever_o discharge_v itself_o in_o its_o passion_n and_o error_n more_o in_o my_o body_n then_o its_o own_o suffering_n but_o they_o be_v still_o hypocrates_n his_o twin_n and_o must_v weep_v or_o laugh_v together_o i_o have_v now_o disburden_v myself_o of_o all_o trouble_n but_o this_o of_o writing_n i_o be_o too_o inexhaustible_a therein_o weary_a i_o it_o do_v satisfy_v i_o it_o can_v i_o will_v change_v the_o scene_n and_o see_v i_o find_v myself_o so_o ill_a a_o companion_n i_o will_v seek_v better_a company_n i_o have_v ever_o be_v overhard_a to_o please_v in_o conversation_n my_o present_a affection_n and_o habit_n make_v i_o now_o more_o dainty_a what_o shall_v i_o do_v i_o have_v by_o god_n great_a grace_n recover_v in_o great_a part_n those_o jewel_n of_o peace_n and_o health_n which_o i_o have_v long_o lose_v therefore_o i_o will_v no_o long_o rake_v in_o this_o puddle_n nor_o abuse_v his_o grace_n in_o overbold_a and_o indiscreet_a presumption_n like_o the_o stranger_n belong_v to_o another_o country_n i_o will_v transitory_o please_v myself_o and_o converse_v with_o the_o common_a passion_n and_o interest_n of_o this_o world_n i_o will_v spend_v my_o time_n in_o search_n of_o goodness_n and_o will_v make_v much_o of_o it_o where_o i_o find_v it_o i_o will_v wash_v my_o hand_n in_o innocency_n my_o soul_n in_o my_o saviour_n blood_n and_o wrap_v myself_o in_o my_o own_o virtue_n and_o his_o merit_n rely_v on_o his_o neverfailing_a mercy_n amen_n amen_n march_n 1._o 1637._o though_o friend_n be_v absent_a conversation_n lose_v my_o bating_n soul_n oft_o labour_v in_o itself_o by_o wind_n and_o fortune_n on_o the_o black_a sea_n toss_v thou_o present_v lord_n i_o fear_v nor_o wave_n nor_o shelf_n thou_o father_n brother_n art_n and_o friend_n to_o i_o be_v the_o world_n who_o it_o list_v so_o thou_o be_v i_o they_o never_o miscarry_v who_o rely_v on_o thou_o grace_n storm_n dispell_n more_o strong_a than_o they_o combine_v all_o thrive_v where_o thou_o the_o prune_a gardener_n be_v to_o thy_o plant_n blast_n frugal_a blessing_n prove_v though_o summer_n height_n and_o flourish_a impart_v winter_n give_v strength_n and_o timber_n to_o the_o grove_n to_o thou_o all_o suffering_n end_v in_o joy_n and_o rest_n and_o the_o absence_n of_o a_o wicked_a world_n be_v best_a force_a delight_n and_o contentment_n be_v no_o delight_n or_o contentment_n dispose_v oh_o lord_n my_o affection_n and_o i_o be_o happy_a until_o i_o have_v digest_v the_o tough_a morsel_n and_o crudity_n of_o this_o 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it_o and_o maintain_v it_o in_o i_o without_o become_v their_o tenant_n they_o who_o will_v give_v themselves_o up_o to_o their_o conceit_a usurp_a authority_n stultos_fw-la jubeo_fw-la esse_fw-la libenter_fw-la let_v they_o live_v as_o miserable_o according_a to_o the_o say_n as_o medicinal_o it_o have_v be_v observe_v of_o some_o country_n that_o sickness_n and_o complaint_n in_o that_o kind_n be_v never_o frequent_a among_o they_o till_o the_o profession_n of_o physic_n bring_v it_o we_o be_v gull_v with_o their_o golden_a promise_n of_o health_n as_o alchemist_n abuse_v many_o with_o the_o hope_n of_o the_o philosopher_n stone_n whereby_o like_o aesop_n dog_n they_o lose_v the_o substance_n for_o the_o shadow_n true_a gold_n for_o false_a hope_n and_o health_n and_o life_n by_o revolt_a from_o nature_n and_o rely_v upon_o false_a imposterous_a pretence_n tuta_fw-la frequensque_fw-la
be_v all_o in_o all_o for_o the_o best_a of_o we_o be_v subject_a to_o be_v carry_v away_o both_o against_o what_o we_o know_v and_o what_o we_o will_v such_o a_o blindness_n steal_v we_o from_o ourselves_o this_o discourse_n which_o i_o have_v these_o many_o year_n at_o time_n be_v incline_v unto_o and_o have_v forbear_v in_o respect_n of_o the_o little_a credit_n or_o use_v which_o it_o may_v bear_v and_o the_o confuse_a nature_n of_o it_o ill_o befit_v my_o health_n and_o condition_n wrap_v myself_o in_o a_o honest_a conscience_n to_o myself_o and_o have_v long_o since_o put_v off_o the_o world_n and_o worldly_a censure_n yet_o have_v i_o at_o last_o thus_o tumultuary_o adventure_v upon_o it_o have_v not_o cost_v i_o much_o above_o two_o hour_n in_o one_o afternoon_n wherein_o though_o i_o can_v vindicate_v myself_o for_o alas_o who_o can_v against_o error_n so_o seem_v easy_a to_o have_v be_v avoid_v yet_o i_o can_v be_v content_a that_o such_o of_o i_o as_o love_v i_o and_o truth_n shall_v find_v i_o here_o such_o as_o i_o have_v be_v and_o not_o such_o as_o i_o may_v be_v traduce_v june_n the_o first_o 1637._o i_o must_v not_o forget_v to_o thank_v god_n that_o my_o fortune_n be_v not_o utter_o ruin_v consider_v how_o all_o help_n and_o hope_n have_v fail_v i_o in_o my_o cure_n and_o otherwise_o how_o costly_a diversion_n have_v be_v unto_o i_o whereby_o to_o support_v myself_o and_o how_o unfit_a i_o have_v be_v in_o the_o mean_a time_n to_o look_v to_o my_o estate_n debauch_n and_o gluttony_n have_v spoil_v many_o a_o body_n and_o fortune_n scrupulous_a abstinence_n and_o care_n i_o though_o i_o acknowledge_v my_o fortune_n and_o estate_n leave_v i_o be_v such_o as_o by_o this_o time_n i_o can_v in_o likelihood_n have_v so_o improve_v as_o that_o my_o quality_n shall_v not_o require_v a_o better_a yet_o this_o give_v i_o leave_v to_o make_v appear_v that_o be_v engage_v to_o marriage_n before_o eighteen_o year_n of_o age_n i_o have_v my_o quality_n leave_v unto_o i_o with_o a_o estate_n of_o revenue_n not_o above_o six_o hundred_o pound_n per_fw-la annum_fw-la de_fw-la claro_fw-la little_a improvement_n to_o be_v make_v of_o a_o long_a time_n by_o reason_n of_o long_a lease_n and_o jointure_n park_n and_o house_n i_o have_v to_o betray_v i_o and_o i_o be_v leave_v so_o bare_o as_o my_o predecessor_n die_v at_o michaelmas_n i_o have_v nothing_o to_o sustain_v i_o till_o the_o next_o rend_v day_n this_o will_v trouble_v a_o tender_a spirit_n to_o know_v which_o way_n to_o turn_v especial_o with_o other_o cross_a circumstance_n in_o fortune_n i_o must_v insert_v one_o vow_n make_v by_o i_o which_o cost_v i_o a_o great_a part_n of_o my_o estate_n have_v against_o my_o intention_n entangle_v my_o conscience_n thereby_o upon_o a_o unhappy_a accident_n of_o the_o great_a house_n at_o turn_v into_o my_o hand_n at_o such_o time_n when_o i_o be_v thorough_o resolve_v for_o thrift_n in_o a_o most_o private_a course_n a_o quite_o other_o way_n though_o i_o have_v make_v alienation_n for_o great_a sum_n yet_o know_v that_o many_o thousand_o i_o lay_v out_o in_o building_n at_o london_n and_o buy_v in_o lease_n and_o the_o wood_n which_o do_v but_o return_v to_o i_o in_o the_o sale_n and_o many_o thousand_o of_o the_o sale_n remain_v beyond_o the_o debt_n where_o with_o my_o son_n have_v be_v enable_v to_o make_v some_o purchase_n and_o by_o god_n grace_n will_v make_v more_o reparation_n with_o the_o money_n remain_v i_o thank_v god_n with_o all_o my_o necessity_n i_o have_v leave_v my_o son_n both_o his_o freedom_n of_o choice_n and_o wife_n portion_n whosoever_o shall_v take_v notice_n of_o great_a possession_n pass_v through_o and_o away_o from_o our_o family_n let_v they_o know_v that_o the_o most_o of_o they_o be_v but_o in_o transitu_fw-la by_o the_o way_n of_o mart_n never_o intend_v to_o be_v keep_v i_o must_v be_v content_a to_o appear_v the_o only_a unthrift_n howsoever_o my_o unthriftinesse_n have_v not_o its_o root_n from_o myself_o but_o rather_o from_o fatal_a mis-accident_n and_o predecessor_n undue_a consideration_n the_o good_a god_n be_v please_v to_o bless_v my_o son_n and_o make_v he_o as_o happy_a as_o i_o have_v be_v unhappy_a for_o my_o whole_a life_n since_o i_o have_v be_v a_o man_n have_v be_v but_o a_o conflict_n with_o the_o worst_a of_o disease_n and_o a_o wearisome_a seek_v for_o contentment_n plunge_v in_o a_o inextricable_a gulf_n of_o all_o misery_n another_o man_n possible_o will_v not_o have_v come_v off_o so_o well_o in_o fortune_n body_n or_o mind_n good_a god_n how_o vain_a and_o miserable_a a_o thing_n be_v man_n without_o thy_o good_a spirit_n to_o direct_v he_o by_o nature_n corrupt_v by_o art_n sophisticate_a and_o confound_v how_o lose_v in_o the_o ignorance_n and_o inexperience_n of_o youth_n how_o short_a of_o the_o tranquillity_n of_o other_o creature_n how_o often_o ruin_v by_o accident_n by_o mistake_a course_n i_o by_o that_o which_o man_n call_v good_a nature_n yet_o happy_a in_o worldly_a account_n be_v they_o who_o nature_n lead_v they_o not_o only_o to_o affect_v thrift_n which_o many_o by_o reason_n of_o other_o not_o bad_a affection_n imperfect_o do_v but_o to_o make_v it_o their_o pleasure_n their_o felicity_n which_o humour_n thorough_o possess_v they_o please_v profit_v and_o advance_v they_o in_o fortune_n and_o reputation_n whilst_o other_o breed_v to_o more_o ingenuous_a and_o fair_a appear_a way_n and_o study_n unthrifty_o miscarry_v how_o ill_o &_o unadvised_o do_v parent_n provide_v for_o their_o young_a heir_n give_v they_o tutor_n for_o learning_n and_o art_n neglect_v their_o instruction_n in_o true_a virtue_n and_o use_v of_o the_o world_n and_o their_o fortune_n how_o lamentable_a it_o be_v to_o see_v many_o who_o if_o leave_v to_o themselves_o will_v do_v well_o enough_o in_o the_o world_n overswaied_n by_o other_o and_o so_o turn_v out_o of_o their_o way_n as_o that_o they_o can_v recover_v themselves_o but_o alas_o why_o suppose_v i_o it_o will_v go_v well_o with_o we_o if_o leave_v to_o ourselves_o who_o know_v nothing_o more_o assure_o than_o this_o that_o all_o humane_a wit_n and_o resolution_n be_v vain_a without_o the_o powerful_a grace_n of_o god_n to_o assist_v we_o that_o i_o implore_v that_o alone_o be_v my_o comfort_n and_o support_v that_o sweeten_v all_o the_o bitterness_n of_o fortune_n unto_o i_o and_o but_o for_o that_o i_o will_v a_o thousand_o time_n as_o resolute_o and_o constant_o have_v leave_v this_o life_n as_o other_o fond_o and_o dote_o embrace_v it_o christian_a religion_n have_v need_n be_v maintain_v in_o our_o heart_n by_o a_o strong_a hand_n from_o above_o see_v it_o abridge_v we_o not_o only_o of_o our_o general_a liberty_n of_o this_o world_n delight_n but_o even_o of_o the_o freedom_n of_o leave_v the_o world_n when_o it_o afford_v no_o delight_n unto_o we_o june_n the_o seven_o 1637._o many_o thing_n concur_v to_o make_v i_o melancholy_n as_o a_o complexion_n sanguine_a incline_v to_o delight_n and_o pleasure_n yet_o withal_o a_o natural_a scrupulosity_n of_o election_n sensible_a of_o fair_a reputation_n and_o thrift_n affect_v with_o knowledge_n and_o at_o length_n a_o conscientious_a tenderness_n of_o faith_n and_o religion_n work_v i_o the_o great_a happiness_n but_o not_o without_o great_a perplexity_n i_o be_v young_a enter_v at_o court_n and_o by_o accident_n quick_o disheartened_a for_o that_o course_n the_o use_n of_o my_o fortune_n in_o the_o country_n be_v by_o want_n of_o mean_n to_o keep_v a_o comely_a house_n and_o other_o many_o cross_a respect_n not_o free_a unto_o i_o and_o though_o afterward_o i_o be_v draw_v to_o housekeep_v against_o my_o will_n and_o discourse_n yet_o both_o in_o my_o estate_n and_o disease_n by_o the_o care_n &_o retiredness_n incident_a thereunto_o especial_o in_o a_o short_a fortune_n it_o prove_v most_o pernicious_a unto_o i_o my_o disease_n likewise_o be_v much_o if_o not_o original_o occasion_v in_o my_o body_n by_o a_o overusing_a of_o new_a treacle_n against_o a_o danger_n of_o the_o plague_n which_o i_o fall_v into_o by_o mr._n sanders_n his_o death_n thereof_o near_o to_o i_o in_o his_o travel_n with_o i_o at_o his_o return_n from_o london_n the_o first_o of_o king_n james._n as_o also_o by_o a_o overspare_n and_o evil_a diet_n who_o for_o long_o together_o feed_v on_o little_a meat_n of_o good_a nourishment_n but_o only_o fat_a dredging_n skin_n and_o such_o like_a and_o in_o truth_n scarce_o ever_o man_n of_o my_o strong_a constitution_n and_o health_n give_v less_o way_n to_o himself_o in_o please_v his_o appetite_n this_o and_o much_o more_o wrought_v a_o alteration_n upon_o my_o mind_n and_o make_v i_o seek_v a_o supply_n of_o former_a pleasure_n by_o entertain_v myself_o with_o study_n and_o
my_o importunate_a thought_n which_o by_o my_o ignorance_n how_o the_o mind_n may_v over-presse_a and_o wrong_a the_o body_n i_o make_v most_o mischievous_a unto_o i_o these_o oppression_n cast_v i_o upon_o costly_a diversion_n and_o with_o disease_n and_o expense_n of_o spirit_n bring_v i_o so_o low_a as_o i_o can_v never_o recover_v so_o that_o all_o the_o effect_n of_o melancholy_a as_o weakness_n of_o memory_n countenance_n and_o faculty_n with_o oppression_n of_o mind_n which_o long_o and_o miserable_o afflict_v i_o proceed_v from_o nothing_o more_o than_o the_o waste_n of_o my_o spirit_n loss_n of_o blood_n and_o over-thinking_a with_o extraordinary_a obstruction_n of_o all_o my_o inward_a part_n i_o contesse_n i_o have_v be_v a_o most_o intemperate_a man_n but_o it_o have_v be_v only_o in_o the_o excess_n of_o my_o thought_n else_o i_o think_v no_o man_n can_v charge_v i_o that_o any_o vain_a inordinate_a humour_n have_v transport_v i_o and_o so_o my_o mind_n as_o i_o have_v often_o be_v charge_v and_o that_o dangerous_a master_n fancy_n and_o a_o natural_a doubtfulness_n especial_o upon_o hard_a and_o questionable_a term_n have_v afflict_v i_o thus_o may_v contrary_n breed_v the_o same_o effect_n ruin_n as_o well_o from_o undue_a care_n as_o carelessness_n i_o can_v in_o probability_n have_v preserve_v myself_o from_o much_o harm_n of_o any_o other_o disorder_n june_n the_o seven_o 1637._o oh_o god_n how_o great_a and_o just_a be_v thy_o judgement_n how_o wonderful_a thy_o mercy_n how_o extraordinary_o can_v thou_o humble_v we_o by_o the_o one_o and_o relieve_v we_o by_o spiritual_a grace_n in_o the_o other_o how_o great_a a_o work_n it_o be_v and_o how_o many_o degree_n be_v require_v to_o effect_v a_o firm_a conversion_n upon_o we_o i_o most_o humble_o thank_v thou_o for_o the_o gracious_a effect_n i_o have_v find_v thereby_o such_o as_o have_v thou_o not_o send_v i_o temporal_a affliction_n i_o must_v have_v be_v eternal_o miserable_a let_v no_o man_n rely_v upon_o his_o own_o strength_n resolution_n and_o precaution_n for_o when_o god_n have_v a_o work_n in_o hand_n and_o leave_v we_o to_o ourselves_o we_o shall_v find_v ourselves_o so_o dementate_v as_o that_o we_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o make_v no_o use_n thereof_o to_o our_o good_a we_o shall_v find_v ourselves_o so_o imprison_v so_o waylay_v against_o what_o we_o will_v or_o shall_v do_v for_o our_o help_n that_o it_o will_v become_v impossible_a for_o we_o to_o make_v use_n of_o ourselves_o and_o ordinary_a mean_n etc._n etc._n it_o prove_v as_o i_o apprehend_v that_o once_o enter_v in_o i_o shall_v hardly_o find_v the_o way_n out_o of_o this_o deep_a thorny_a thicket_n my_o health_n and_o life_n have_v be_v late_o so_o desperate_a as_o it_o be_v little_a adventure_n to_o undergo_v any_o thing_n and_o indeed_o my_o nature_n have_v be_v too_o prone_a to_o put_v many_o thing_n to_o the_o hazard_n the_o rule_n of_o quod_fw-la dubitas_fw-la ne_fw-la feceris_fw-la have_v be_v much_o better_o observe_v but_o alas_o what_o rule_n can_v be_v strong_a enough_o not_o to_o be_v overbear_v by_o our_o blind_a precipitate_a passion_n and_o fate_n etc._n etc._n i_o neither_o must_v nor_o will_v specify_v the_o numerous_a particularity_n of_o my_o misfortune_n only_o thus_o much_o i_o will_v say_v that_o from_o my_o come_n from_o under_o the_o rod_n to_o this_o present_a i_o have_v successive_o meet_v first_o with_o dangerous_a disease_n in_o the_o university_n then_o with_o engagement_n and_o accident_n of_o consequence_n to_o my_o whole_a fortune_n and_o course_n then_o with_o such_o a_o melancholy_a as_o dash_v all_o my_o spirit_n and_o countenance_n otherwise_o strong_a and_o bold_a then_o with_o extremity_n of_o divers_a sickness_n which_o more_o deject_a i_o then_o with_o a_o ruinous_a vow_n then_o with_o loss_n of_o child_n and_o other_o heavy_a disgrace_n the_o effect_n of_o my_o disease_n then_o with_o desperate_a effect_n of_o mistake_a powder_n sufferance_n and_o course_n of_o physic_n and_o after_o all_o this_o and_o much_o more_o etc._n etc._n though_o general_o i_o so_o despair_v of_o life_n as_o not_o to_o dare_v to_o venture_v any_o thing_n upon_o it_o to_o buy_v some_o place_n to_o support_v i_o in_o my_o fortune_n and_o against_o my_o disease_n by_o diversion_n yet_o i_o once_o attempt_v that_o course_n and_o be_v most_o strange_o and_o causlesse_o put_v by_o sometime_o i_o have_v resolve_v for_o a_o course_n in_o the_o war_n as_o against_o the_o turk_n and_o then_o come_v peace_n and_o truce_n in_o truth_n employment_n in_o likelihood_n will_v have_v prevent_v the_o weight_n of_o my_o disease_n many_o thing_n which_o appear_v in_o i_o affect_v course_n of_o pleasure_n and_o vanity_n be_v in_o truth_n lay_v hold_n on_o by_o i_o for_o diversion_n and_o support_n of_o my_o oppress_a spirit_n against_o the_o violence_n of_o my_o disease_n june_n the_o nine_o 1637._o when_o i_o think_v what_o my_o fortune_n have_v be_v and_o how_o long_o and_o continual_a the_o affliction_n which_o i_o have_v endure_v as_o well_o in_o mind_n and_o body_n as_o in_o my_o estate_n i_o make_v question_n whether_o many_o year_n if_o not_o age_n do_v not_o pass_v in_o the_o whole_a world_n without_o parallel_v my_o suffering_n none_o but_o a_o extreme_a melancholy_a man_n can_v conceive_v they_o which_o yet_o have_v be_v aggravate_v in_o i_o by_o a_o contrary_a and_o most_o sensible_a complexion_n no_o body_n but_o of_o a_o extraordinary_a strong_a constitution_n can_v have_v undergo_v they_o how_o often_o have_v i_o think_v myself_o at_o my_o end_n how_o often_o wish_v it_o and_o yet_o have_v it_o please_v god_n miraculous_o to_o preserve_v i_o oh_o that_o it_o may_v please_v he_o thereby_o to_o work_v his_o glory_n and_o service_n otherwise_o how_o long_o have_v i_o be_v and_o now_o be_o from_o desire_v it_o i_o confess_v myself_o infinite_o faulty_a both_o towards_o god_n man_n and_o myself_o but_o withal_o strange_o unhappy_a in_o the_o occasional_a circumstance_n and_o concurrency_n of_o my_o mischief_n i_o have_v evident_o discern_v a_o extraordinary_a and_o high_a hand_n therein_o and_o i_o most_o humble_o thank_v god_n who_o have_v by_o degree_n bring_v i_o home_o unto_o he_o i_o have_v long_o subsist_v only_o under_o the_o shelter_n of_o his_o wing_n and_o desire_v nothing_o but_o his_o favour_n to_o my_o end_n nothing_o else_o have_v support_v i_o nor_o can_v nor_o can_v my_o mind_n and_o fancy_n be_v natural_o active_a and_o for_o want_v of_o outward_a employment_n besit_v they_o and_o i_o turn_v and_o wrought_v upon_o my_o spirit_n if_o i_o have_v notwithstanding_o all_o objection_n settle_v at_o at_o the_o first_o i_o have_v find_v that_o centre_n and_o quiet_a the_o want_n whereof_o infinite_o hurt_v i_o by_o give_v way_n to_o my_o fancy_n to_o be_v overmuch_o work_v upon_o it_o before_o i_o put_v such_o course_n in_o execution_n i_o at_o last_o give_v way_n to_o prevent_v the_o like_a inconvenience_n of_o trouble_n of_o mind_n and_o cost_n which_o may_v befall_v my_o son_n in_o a_o just_a affection_n of_o settle_v there_o i_o confess_v that_o in_o project_v what_o concern_v we_o it_o be_v not_o unnecessary_a to_o be_v possess_v of_o a_o summary_n disposition_n therein_o but_o to_o descend_v to_o a_o exact_a punctuality_n of_o particulars_n in_o a_o precautious_a speculation_n before_o time_n and_o opportunity_n of_o act_v and_o execution_n be_v common_o as_o vain_a as_o troublesome_a fancy_n may_v please_v and_o infatuate_a itself_o therein_o but_o the_o present_a view_n and_o circumstance_n of_o thing_n to_o be_v present_o act_v be_v that_o which_o give_v the_o final_a order_n and_o determination_n with_o a_o contradict_v and_o retract_v nullity_n to_o our_o prepense_a conceit_n and_o resolution_n june_n 11._o 1637._o sapiens_fw-la dominabitur_fw-la astris_fw-la be_v a_o pretty_a say_n but_o if_o not_o apply_v and_o restrain_v to_o godly_a and_o divine_a wisdom_n as_o far_o from_o truth_n as_o the_o star_n be_v short_a of_o god_n it_o be_v extraordinary_a that_o in_o all_o my_o course_n of_o a_o long_a life_n i_o shall_v ever_o meet_v with_o hindrance_n and_o cross_n even_o when_o i_o have_v most_o strive_v to_o avoid_v they_o and_o never_o with_o any_o thing_n of_o help_n and_o ease_n yet_o this_o for_o my_o comfort_n and_o to_o exempt_v i_o from_o envy_v other_o if_o i_o will_v but_o in_o a_o ordinary_a measure_n have_v digress_v from_o my_o austere_a way_n to_o my_o son_n and_o i_o there_o may_v have_v be_v a_o large_a proportion_n of_o honour_n authority_n and_o fortune_n god_n know_v what_o be_v best_a for_o we_o and_o i_o affect_v nothing_o but_o according_a to_o the_o fair_a mean_n and_o his_o good_a pleasure_n that_o noble_a friend_n of_o i_o who_o upon_o consideration_n of_o the_o natural_a strength_n of_o my_o body_n and_o mind_n
more_o it_o plunge_v itself_o to_o encumbrance_n and_o disease_n how_o easy_a be_v conveniency_n to_o be_v find_v how_o hard_o it_o be_v to_o find_v they_o how_o easy_a it_o seem_v to_o please_v ourselves_o how_o hard_o to_o please_v god_n and_o ourselves_o how_o often_o have_v i_o oppose_v my_o fancy_n and_o affection_n by_o a_o way_n of_o abstinence_n and_o frugality_n which_o yet_o have_v prove_v most_o improsperous_a unto_o i_o how_o often_o have_v i_o by_o god_n grace_n prefer_v he_o before_o all_o worldly_a delight_n and_o yet_o want_v the_o grace_n of_o constancy_n what_o shall_v i_o say_v if_o ever_o man_n play_v a_o long_a heavy_a unhappy_a part_n upon_o the_o stage_n of_o this_o world_n it_o be_v myself_o etc._n etc._n august_n 21._o 1637._o no_o care_n be_v more_o natural_a or_o necessary_a then_o for_o parent_n to_o enter_v their_o young_a one_o into_o a_o proportionable_a fortune_n and_o fair_a course_n to_o be_v able_a to_o live_v in_o the_o world_n the_o direction_n of_o a_o father_n to_o his_o child_n therein_o be_v of_o main_a importance_n i_o be_v leave_v young_a and_o great_o want_v it_o have_v i_o be_v leave_v single_a young_a as_o i_o be_v i_o be_v resolve_v never_o to_o have_v marry_v but_o so_o as_o to_o have_v set_v myself_o at_o ease_n for_o housekeep_v and_o other_o charge_n which_o attend_v it_o according_a to_o my_o quality_n my_o mind_n be_v not_o so_o loose_a but_o that_o i_o can_v have_v contain_v myself_o in_o expense_n for_o till_o i_o be_v lose_v in_o my_o disease_n i_o give_v many_o year_n proof_n thereof_o that_o error_n have_v be_v verify_v upon_o i_o which_o be_v say_v of_o fool_n that_o they_o ever_o begin_v to_o live_v time_n and_o necessity_n the_o great_a rectifier_n of_o our_o course_n have_v make_v i_o see_v my_o fault_n and_o accommodate_v that_o which_o i_o think_v impossible_a august_n 22._o 1637._o miserable_a condition_n of_o my_o fortune_n and_o the_o melancholy_a humour_n how_o one_o while_n for_o a_o evasion_n it_o divert_v itself_o by_o a_o work_a imagination_n how_o there_o may_v be_v a_o better_n other-while_n it_o aggravate_v itself_o upon_o consideration_n how_o incur_v misfortune_n may_v have_v be_v avoid_v both_o fruitless_a and_o perplex_v september_n 26._o 1637._o there_o be_v little_a commiseration_n due_a to_o such_o as_o enter_v upon_o a_o fair_a and_o full_a accommodation_n of_o house_n and_o fortune_n wasteful_o consume_v and_o abuse_v it_o with_o i_o it_o be_v far_o otherwise_o yet_o young_a as_o i_o be_v have_v i_o be_v leave_v with_o money_n in_o my_o hand_n or_o have_v raise_v money_n to_o myself_o by_o what_o i_o have_v i_o be_v not_o so_o loose_v finger_v as_o not_o to_o have_v keep_v or_o employ_v it_o to_o my_o advantage_n i_o be_o confident_a that_o many_o a_o heir_n ruin_v his_o fortune_n who_o do_v he_o enter_v upon_o monies_n as_o well_o as_o land_n will_v thrive_v and_o do_v well_o to_o a_o nature_n not_o foolish_o dissolute_a and_o prodigal_a money_n set_v rather_o a_o edge_n of_o increase_n then_o dissipation_n ignoti_fw-la nulla_fw-la cupido_fw-la it_o be_v a_o rational_a way_n to_o reclaim_v that_o prodigal_a which_o be_v record_v by_o show_v he_o those_o massy_a heap_n that_o be_v to_o go_v to_o discharge_v his_o wasteful_a debt_n the_o eye_n make_v the_o most_o effectual_a impression_n i_o have_v know_v a_o prince_n who_o be_v insensible_a of_o give_v great_a sum_n by_o word_n yet_o be_v tenacious_a of_o what_o once_o come_v into_o his_o hand_n as_o the_o hand_n natural_o so_o money_n political_o be_v the_o instrument_n of_o instrument_n without_o it_o like_o ship_n without_o water_n the_o wise_a and_o most_o active_a can_v make_v little_a use_n of_o themselves_o god_n blessing_n i_o ever_o imply_v for_o without_o that_o the_o builder_n build_v and_o watchman_n watch_v but_o in_o vain_a how_o unhappy_a be_v the_o condition_n of_o a_o unquiet_a mind_n and_o how_o hard_o it_o be_v for_o a_o spirit_n sharp_a sight_v and_o sensible_a to_o inconvenience_n and_o advantage_n to_o maintain_v a_o tranquillity_n amid_o the_o unsound_a and_o humorous_a incident_n of_o this_o life_n so_o little_o be_v the_o reality_n and_o so_o various_a the_o apparition_n of_o humane_a contentment_n fortune_n be_v to_o some_o a_o mother_n to_o other_o a_o stepdame_n some_o she_o humour_n some_o she_o cross_v from_o their_o infancy_n and_o whatsoever_o be_v say_v of_o every_o man_n forgeing_n his_o own_o fortune_n he_o know_v little_a who_o find_v not_o great_a ability_n miscarry_v when_o inferior_a succeed_v we_o make_v not_o ourselves_o nor_o the_o time_n and_o other_o circumstance_n we_o live_v in_o who_o correspondency_n shall_v in_o despite_n of_o we_o import_v we_o good_a mariner_n be_v often_o sink_v at_o sea_n when_o ill_o one_o arrive_v at_o good_a harbour_n for_o i_o i_o acknowledge_v in_o myself_o through_o my_o whole_a course_n many_o error_n yet_o have_v i_o find_v such_o a_o unhappy_a constellation_n of_o fatality_n over-rule_v i_o that_o what_o course_n soever_o i_o have_v take_v i_o can_v hardly_o persuade_v myself_o i_o can_v have_v have_v any_o better_a issue_n moderation_n sobriety_n care_n religion_n itself_o preservative_n to_o other_o have_v be_v to_o my_o fortune_n body_n and_o mind_n flail_n and_o rock_n yet_o all_o conducible_a and_o necessary_a to_o a_o better_a life_n etc._n etc._n i_o thank_v god_n for_o all_o and_o desire_v no_o more_o but_o his_o grace_n in_o grant_v i_o either_o patience_n or_o a_o fair_a deliverance_n from_o this_o world_n misery_n and_o corruption_n i_o have_v long_o hate_v and_o despise_v the_o world_n and_o all_o the_o frail_a vanity_n that_o other_o dote_v upon_o i_o find_v every_o day_n more_o and_o more_o the_o nullity_n the_o wickedness_n of_o its_o pleasure_n etc._n etc._n september_n 27._o 1637._o have_v i_o my_o full_a strength_n and_o clearness_n of_o spirit_n have_v i_o much_o more_o knowledge_n and_o will_v and_o can_v convenient_o bestow_v much_o more_o time_n in_o work_v these_o overflowing_n of_o my_o heart_n and_o brain_n yet_o such_o be_v the_o obscure_a confusion_n of_o this_o sophisticated_a world_n and_o my_o natural_a curiosity_n by_o melancholy_a much_o more_o hard_a to_o please_v that_o i_o shall_v never_o satisfy_v myself_o in_o write_v what_o belong_v to_o this_o or_o any_o other_o subject_a i_o will_v willing_o by_o these_o evaporation_n impart_v with_o ease_n to_o myself_o some_o impression_n to_o my_o friend_n how_o there_o have_v go_v as_o much_o fate_n as_o fault_n to_o effect_v my_o misery_n and_o to_o occasion_v they_o to_o resent_v and_o compassionate_v the_o wretchedness_n of_o humane_a condition_n by_o represent_v myself_o none_o of_o the_o worst-endowed_n with_o part_n of_o body_n mind_n and_o estate_n thrifty_o and_o temperate_o affect_v become_v nevertheless_o most_o tedious_o miserable_a in_o they_o all_o such_o have_v be_v god_n will_n and_o such_o in_o despite_n of_o nature_n and_o reason_n shall_v be_v his_o condition_n who_o accident_n and_o circumstance_n conspire_v to_o afflict_v a_o doctor_n of_o physic_n tell_v i_o long_o since_o that_o i_o have_v too_o much_o mind_n for_o my_o body_n but_o never_o advise_v i_o the_o moderation_n of_o the_o one_o and_o natural_a improvement_n of_o the_o other_o i_o thank_v god_n towards_o he_o who_o be_v the_o chief_a good_a it_o be_v the_o better_a for_o i_o and_o good_a for_o i_o that_o i_o have_v be_v trouble_v i_o confess_v i_o have_v natural_o a_o strong_a active_a and_o sensible_a mind_n yet_o not_o such_o but_o if_o i_o have_v escape_v accidental_a melancholy_n i_o may_v well_o have_v temper_v it_o but_o when_o that_o seize_v upon_o we_o thing_n otherwise_o easy_o to_o be_v pass_v over_o become_v full_a of_o scruple_n and_o perplexity_n my_o world_n over_o use_v of_o treacle_n hot_a and_o dry_a in_o my_o youth_n first_o breed_v the_o alteration_n in_o my_o body_n and_o mind_n i_o know_v not_o what_o i_o ail_v nor_o whence_o it_o proceed_v but_o enforce_o yield_v to_o melancholy_a effect_n such_o as_o retiredness_n over-reading_a and_o over-thinking_a little_a as_o then_o conceive_v how_o the_o body_n shall_v become_v oppress_v by_o so_o abstract_v a_o thing_n as_o the_o mind_n my_o first_o study_n in_o the_o way_n of_o morality_n and_o scepticism_n take_v off_o my_o edge_n from_o worldly_a delight_n god_n good_a spirit_n afterward_o be_v a_o check_n to_o i_o against_o they_o by_o who_o mercy_n i_o be_v never_o free_a from_o perplexity_n till_o of_o late_a i_o will_v by_o his_o grace_n fix_v myself_o upon_o he_o and_o leave_v off_o to_o ruminate_v upon_o much_o more_o to_o enumerate_v my_o infinite_a past_a misgovernment_n and_o misfortune_n god_n be_v praise_v my_o son_n beginning_n be_v as_o well_o if_o not_o better_o than_o ever_o yet_o be_v any_o of_o our_o family_n cross_a tide_n they_o say_v make_v
the_o irish_a sea_n so_o troublesome_a and_o dangerous_a there_o be_v a_o proportion_n of_o bear_v beyond_o which_o we_o sink_v i_o be_v in_o my_o prime_a youth_n encounter_v with_o many_o unfavourable_a dysaster_n etc._n etc._n the_o great_a change_n of_o the_o court_n and_o long_a greatness_n of_o they_o who_o accident_n etc._n etc._n my_o other_o absence_n in_o travail_n hinder_v my_o fall_n in_o with_o those_o time_n my_o retiredness_n by_o that_o course_n and_o over-exact_a study_n of_o language_n which_o certain_o be_v proper_a only_a to_o child_n to_o who_o it_o come_v insensible_o and_o be_v most_o troublesome_a to_o curious_a spirit_n these_o and_o much_o more_o conspire_v against_o i_o i_o will_v when_o my_o fortune_n be_v whole_a have_v match_v my_o son_n then_o very_o young_a and_o have_v assure_v my_o land_n upon_o he_o for_o a_o reasonable_a portion_n it_o can_v not_o be_v my_o predecessor_n after_o a_o long_a and_o desperate_a sickness_n live_v just_a enough_o to_o marry_v i_o and_o many_o strange_a thing_n than_o these_o have_v befall_v i_o in_o the_o article_n of_o a_o catastrophe_n to_o my_o fortune_n november_n 2._o 1637._o to_o say_v something_o still_o of_o diverse_a ambiguity_n and_o perplexity_n incident_a to_o my_o condition_n and_o fortune_n which_o beside_o the_o accidental_a melancholy_n breed_v in_o my_o body_n can_v hardly_o sail_v to_o work_v a_o alteration_n and_o disease_n upon_o a_o mind_n curious_a of_o avoid_v inconvenience_n and_o choose_v the_o best_a my_o nature_n be_v bend_v to_o ordinary_a pleasure_n yet_o moral_o withdraw_v to_o a_o observation_n of_o decency_n virtue_n moderation_n and_o improvement_n of_o knowledge_n with_o a_o acquisite_a affectation_n of_o philosophical_a moral_a civil_a and_o christian_a perfection_n wherein_o as_o well_o for_o vogue_n fashion_n and_o reputation_n as_o truth_n i_o can_v not_o willing_o consent_v to_o come_v short_a of_o the_o best_a when_o i_o grow_v towards_o manhood_n be_v of_o myself_o dispose_v to_o forbear_v marriage_n until_o i_o shall_v be_v thirty_o year_n old_a and_o then_o not_o to_o marry_v without_o great_a choice_n in_o fit_v myself_o and_o obtain_v a_o fullness_n of_o fortune_n to_o set_v myself_o at_o ease_n in_o my_o quality_n and_o that_o estate_n â—&c_n â—&c_n â—&c_n i_o see_v the_o inconvenience_n but_o wife_n child_n and_o my_o disease_n make_v i_o unfit_a for_o another_o man_n house_n and_o though_o i_o wish_v yet_o i_o can_v not_o resolve_v a_o change_n which_o to_o i_o who_o can_v never_o easy_o admit_v a_o resolution_n with_o inconvenience_n attend_v it_o be_v ever_o abhorrent_n my_o natural_a curiosity_n who_o mind_n be_v never_o quiet_a till_o all_o circumstance_n and_o conveniency_n be_v run_v over_o and_o over_o and_o accommodate_v by_o i_o make_v all_o thing_n especial_o in_o a_o seat_n of_o my_o own_o most_o troublesome_a to_o the_o melancholy_a taint_a spirit_n nothing_o be_v more_o unfit_a than_o idleness_n nothing_o more_o troublesome_a than_o its_o curious_a discourse_v upon_o resolution_n nothing_o more_o unfit_a than_o confinement_n to_o one_o place_n yet_o nothing_o more_o hard_a then_o to_o resolve_v and_o digest_v change_n and_o alteration_n once_o marry_v i_o be_v set_v to_o seek_v how_o to_o live_v where_o to_o live_v my_o birth_n and_o breed_n be_v in_o the_o city_n my_o affection_n and_o chief_a seat_n in_o cambridgeshire_n but_o many_o strong_a consideration_n divert_v i_o from_o it_o the_o court_n where_o i_o be_v young_a enter_v follow_v may_v have_v keep_v i_o from_o that_o depth_n of_o melancholy_n whereunto_o travail_n study_n and_o retiredness_n in_o care_n and_o fancy_n of_o what_o belong_v to_o a_o house_n drown_v i_o but_o that_o also_o by_o accident_n be_v unfit_a for_o i_o yet_o at_o length_n for_o a_o strong_a diversion_n and_o under_o so_o brave_a a_o patronage_n as_o that_o of_o prince_n henry_n i_o readventure_v upon_o it_o but_o his_o immature_n death_n and_o much_o sickness_n of_o my_o own_o follow_v upon_o it_o with_o other_o disproportion_n final_o alien_v i_o from_o that_o course_n thus_o and_o much_o more_o have_v my_o life_n be_v a_o conflict_n with_o disease_n and_o fortune_n i_o have_v former_o touch_v many_o more_o particular_n yet_o not_o all_o nor_o the_o worst_a it_o be_v one_o of_o the_o great_a in_o satisfaction_n of_o writing_n to_o a_o ingenuous_a spirit_n in_o most_o important_a matter_n to_o have_v least_o freedom_n there_o be_v many_o noli_fw-la i_o tangere's_fw-fr the_o contrast_n of_o god_n grace_n and_o religion_n against_o the_o impetuosity_n of_o natural_a affection_n have_v be_v many_o year_n my_o great_a combat_n i_o have_v fight_v resolute_o but_o receive_v many_o foil_n yet_o by_o the_o infinite_a goodness_n of_o my_o saviour_n i_o have_v receive_v such_o most_o unexpected_a succour_n that_o to_o my_o unvaluable_a comfort_n i_o triumph_v etc._n etc._n i_o have_v dedicate_v myself_o next_o to_o god_n whole_o to_o my_o son_n and_o have_v many_o year_n endeavour_v his_o good_a beyond_o my_o own_o i_o have_v now_o make_v myself_o his_o pensioner_n and_o i_o wish_v no_o worldly_a happiness_n more_o than_o his_o prosperity_n thus_o with_o a_o run_a pen_n i_o ease_v my_o mind_n which_o though_o with_o no_o serious_a exactness_n yet_o with_o little_a prejudice_n to_o my_o health_n for_o otherwise_o the_o strength_n of_o my_o disease_n will_v not_o suffer_v i_o to_o bear_v the_o strength_n and_o curiosity_n of_o my_o own_o discourse_n he_o who_o be_v subject_a to_o melancholy_n let_v he_o shun_v as_o a_o rock_n at_o sea_n over-studying_a or_o tire_v of_o his_o thought_n and_o when_o he_o find_v conclusion_n come_v not_o off_o clear_o and_o that_o a_o restinesse_n of_o discourse_n grow_v upon_o he_o let_v he_o give_v over_o for_o the_o present_a not_o admit_v the_o least_o tumultuation_n till_o such_o a_o good_a and_o fit_a time_n after_o as_o he_o may_v return_v new_a and_o fresh_a to_o work_v by_o this_o mean_n shall_v he_o avoid_v much_o hurt_n of_o his_o spirit_n and_o attain_v better_o to_o his_o end_n in_o read_v also_o little_a and_o little_a at_o once_o shall_v dispatch_v more_o and_o that_o without_o inconvenience_n of_o health_n then_o much_o together_o to_o the_o oppression_n of_o the_o soul_n ne_fw-la quid_fw-la nimis_fw-la in_o all_o thing_n be_v a_o excellent_a instruction_n how_o many_o a_o man_n have_v tire_v his_o horse_n by_o ride_v a_o little_a too_o fast_o who_o may_v otherwise_o have_v come_v well_o to_o his_o journey_n end_n the_o like_a be_v see_v in_o expense_n a_o very_a little_a contract_n will_v often_o have_v give_v ease_n and_o thirst_n where_o a_o very_a small_a overspending_a have_v breed_v continual_a want_n and_o ruin_n by_o my_o miserable_a experience_n i_o can_v give_v many_o rule_n upon_o this_o world_n course_n and_o melancholy_a moderation_n be_v good_a but_o god_n grace_n be_v above_o all_o and_o without_o it_o nothing_o can_v prosper_v how_o lusty_o do_v the_o root_n feed_v a_o tree_n who_o branch_n be_v few_o and_o small_a in_o respect_n to_o the_o all-seeing_a god_n be_v glory_n for_o with_o we_o but_o through_o he_o dwell_v nothing_o but_o darkness_n error_n frailty_n and_o ignorance_n november_n 4._o 1637._o my_o gracious_a god_n the_o support_n and_o guide_v of_o we_o and_o all_o our_o action_n since_o thou_o have_v vouch_v save_v to_o grant_v i_o a_o firm_a and_o happy_a faith_n in_o christ_n and_o love_n of_o thou_o with_o a_o contempt_n of_o all_o earthly_a and_o carnal_a joy_n confirm_v unto_o i_o i_o most_o humble_o beseech_v thou_o thy_o heavenly_a grace_n and_o the_o comfort_n of_o thy_o good_a spirit_n for_o i_o abhor_v myself_o whensoever_o that_o joy_n fail_v i_o or_o any_o worldly_a affection_n assault_v i_o none_o more_o than_o i_o know_v their_o vanity_n their_o unsoundnesse_n their_o emptiness_n of_o all_o true_a and_o perfect_a satisfaction_n such_o as_o leave_v i_o ever_o to_o seek_v ever_o unquiet_a till_o such_o time_n as_o i_o whole_o resign_v myself_o unto_o thou_o the_o world_n be_v a_o wilderness_n of_o ravenous_a beast_n there_o be_v no_o path_n no_o safety_n no_o contentment_n or_o protection_n but_o through_o thy_o favour_n sweet_a lord_n impart_v it_o unto_o i_o and_o i_o shall_v find_v that_o quiet_a and_o joy_n of_o heart_n which_o i_o have_v ever_o want_v help_v i_o for_o i_o shall_v hate_v myself_o if_o through_o the_o infirmity_n of_o my_o flesh_n and_o blood_n i_o reap_v not_o more_o joy_n and_o complacence_n in_o my_o surrender_n to_o thou_o and_o in_o thy_o grace_n than_o ever_o i_o do_v or_o can_v find_v in_o the_o most_o full_a and_o flatter_a pleasure_n which_o this_o instable_a world_n afford_v i_o have_v often_o find_v thy_o most_o merciful_a and_o miraculous_a relief_n and_o support_n beyond_o expectation_n beyond_o natural_a conceit_n let_v thy_o mercy_n and_o grace_n continue_v with_o i_o to_o my_o end_n and_o
and_o felicity_n and_o nothing_o but_o the_o perfect_a joy_n of_o heaven_n can_v satisfy_v the_o perfection_n and_o summum_fw-la bonum_fw-la affect_v soul_n when_o we_o have_v say_v and_o do_v what_o we_o can_v we_o be_v in_o such_o a_o mist_n and_o confusion_n of_o thing_n so_o short_a sight_v through_o our_o false_a perspective_n that_o there_o be_v much_o chance_n in_o discern_v the_o truth_n and_o right_a way_n even_o of_o thing_n within_o our_o reach_n and_o capacity_n in_o despite_n of_o all_o our_o search_n and_o circumspection_n god_n be_v all_o in_o all_o without_o he_o see_v we_o shall_v not_o see_v and_o understanding_n we_o shall_v not_o understand_v who_o refer_v to_o nature_n and_o our_o natural_a universality_n of_o faculty_n and_o not_o to_o his_o extraordinary_a influence_n be_v blind_a to_o his_o grace_n and_o operation_n by_o he_o we_o live_v move_v and_o have_v our_o be_v and_o no_o thing_n or_o faculty_n work_n but_o through_o his_o grace_n and_o providence_n fantasy_n in_o we_o be_v like_o the_o sail_n of_o a_o ship_n without_o it_o we_o want_v much_o of_o ornament_n and_o motion_n with_o a_o predominancy_n of_o it_o we_o be_v in_o danger_n of_o over-setting_a without_o it_o many_o thing_n otherwise_o delightful_a be_v dull_a and_o insipid_a and_o if_o it_o be_v over_o pregnant_a it_o ordinary_o ruin_n and_o befool_v we_o it_o be_v our_o soul_n perspective_n multiply_v object_n at_o one_o end_n and_o lessen_v they_o at_o the_o other_o it_o be_v a_o better_a servant_n than_o master_n happy_a they_o who_o steer_v and_o ballast_n can_v rule_v and_o command_v it_o it_o be_v a_o horse_n that_o must_v be_v bear_v with_o a_o hard_a hand_n if_o it_o get_v head_n it_o transport_v we_o to_o much_o inconvenience_n and_o hardly_o contain_v itself_o within_o any_o limit_n of_o judgement_n and_o reason_n all_o thing_n take_v their_o tincture_n from_o it_o it_o be_v to_o be_v less_o than_o man_n to_o want_v it_o and_o more_o to_o bridle_v and_o over-rule_v it_o god_n alone_o can_v temper_v and_o moderate_v our_o inordinate_a fancy_n they_o and_o affection_n he_o alone_o be_v commensurable_a to_o our_o vast_a desire_n moderation_n have_v ever_o be_v a_o hard_a virtue_n the_o most_o conscientious_a spirit_n have_v ever_o be_v subject_n to_o superstition_n and_o idolatry_n strength_n of_o fantasy_n be_v apt_a to_o multiply_v itself_o beyond_o measure_n irreligious_a heart_n cut_v the_o gordian_a knot_n which_o they_o can_v untie_v to_o distinguish_v betwixt_o god_n and_o man_n must_v be_v from_o god_n and_o not_o from_o man_n man_n may_v endeavour_v and_o concur_v but_o god_n alone_o can_v clear_v and_o confirm_v my_o good_a god_n i_o will_v with_o thy_o good_a grace_n let_v my_o heart_n loose_v to_o no_o other_o object_n than_o thyself_o and_o what_o be_v please_v unto_o thou_o so_o shall_v i_o have_v fullness_n of_o joy_n nor_o shall_v i_o regret_n or_o envy_v the_o most_o splendid_a employment_n or_o fantastical_a delight_n where_o with_o this_o world_n siren-like_a enchant_v the_o mind_n of_o such_o as_o dote_v upon_o it_o smile_v thou_o upon_o i_o and_o let_v the_o world_n frown_n or_o scorn_n the_o world_n kiss_n be_v poison_n the_o embrace_n confusion_n they_o carry_v their_o sting_n with_o they_o but_o thy_o favour_n be_v present_a and_o eternal_a felicity_n if_o the_o very_a enjoy_n of_o our_o fancy_n and_o feed_v they_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o surfeit_n and_o oppression_n what_o be_v it_o to_o fail_v be_v cross_v and_o miscarry_v in_o they_o little_a sail_n and_o little_a fancy_n make_v the_o best_a and_o safe_a voyage_n to_o conclude_v these_o shred_n and_o ejaculation_n which_o may_v weary_v but_o never_o satisfy_v either_o myself_o or_o any_o other_o for_o there_o be_v evermore_o and_o better_a to_o be_v say_v our_o artificial_a infirm_a and_o perplex_a condition_n be_v to_o a_o curious_a strong_a mind_n a_o natural_a and_o strong_a distraction_n a_o large_a and_o various_a prospect_n work_v upon_o and_o divide_v the_o fancy_n and_o with_o a_o divulsion_n breed_v a_o kind_n of_o convulsion_n in_o the_o spirit_n and_o a_o solution_n of_o that_o sweet_a continuity_n and_o harmony_n which_o god_n have_v ordain_v natural_a unto_o we_o original_a and_o actual_a sin_n inhabit_v in_o we_o deserve_v that_o and_o much_o other_o punishment_n if_o god_n of_o his_o great_a grace_n and_o indulgence_n give_v we_o not_o a_o clew_n of_o his_o thread_n to_o guide_v we_o we_o be_v confound_v and_o lose_v in_o this_o world_n labyrinth_n he_o be_v we_o and_o the_o world_n prop_n and_o if_o it_o have_v not_o please_v he_o wonderful_o to_o assist_v and_o support_v i_o with_o extraordinary_a strength_n of_o resolution_n and_o his_o good_a spirit_n i_o have_v a_o thousand_o time_n perish_v in_o my_o error_n and_o confusion_n wild_a affection_n which_o lead_v grave_a reason_n by_o the_o nose_n have_v undo_v i_o a_o vertiginous_a spirit_n and_o my_o own_o weight_n and_o strength_n have_v oppress_v i_o and_o well_o may_v i_o miscarry_v see_v the_o strong_a spirit_n be_v in_o the_o multiformity_n of_o their_o discourse_n most_o obnoxious_a to_o find_v reason_n to_o fortify_v themselves_o in_o the_o gross_a obliquity_n to_o we_o in_o propriety_n be_v all_o sensuality_n vanity_n foolish_a presumption_n sophistication_n and_o corruption_n of_o truth_n with_o innumerable_a exorbitancy_n and_o folly_n but_o to_o god_n only_o good_a only_o wise_a just_a merciful_a and_o omnipotent_a be_v ascribe_v all_o honour_n and_o glory_n for_o evermore_o amen_o amen_n good_a god_n i_o be_o the_o work_n of_o thy_o hand_n and_o now_o happy_o of_o thy_o good_a spirit_n let_v thy_o mercy_n work_v with_o i_o and_o upon_o i_o to_o the_o end_n and_o eternity_n tot_o contra_fw-la unum_fw-la caput_fw-la conspirantibus_fw-la quis_fw-la potuissetresistere_fw-la nisi_fw-la dei_fw-la optimi_fw-la maximi_fw-la speciali_fw-la gratia_fw-la aspirante_fw-la there_o have_v need_n in_o truth_n be_v a_o extraordinary_a supply_n and_o support_v of_o reason_n and_o grace_n against_o the_o strange_a and_o strong_a fond_a impression_n of_o the_o melancholy_a humour_n november_n 25._o 1637._o it_o be_v say_v that_o if_o a_o horse_n can_v be_v equal_o place_v to_o provender_n on_o each_o side_n of_o he_o he_o will_v soon_o starve_v then_o resolve_v i_o be_v ambiguous_o constitute_v balance_v in_o disposition_n betwixt_o contemplation_n and_o action_n thrift_n and_o comeliness_n pleasure_n of_o the_o body_n and_o mind_n vice_n and_o virtue_n country_n town_n and_o court_n private_a or_o public_a course_n of_o life_n and_o no_o wonder_n if_o dubia_fw-la torquent_fw-la the_o world_n be_v a_o riddle_n a_o entangle_a skaine_n vexatious_a to_o extricate_v to_o intend_v our_o mind_n and_o affection_n much_o upon_o it_o be_v as_o well_o misery_n as_o vanity_n it_o pay_v we_o with_o a_o cloud_n in_o stead_n of_o juno_n torment_n in_o stead_n of_o contentment_n we_o often_o lose_v substance_n for_o shadow_n and_o felicity_n by_o over-searching_a it_o there_o be_v a_o proportion_n of_o wit_n most_o conducible_a to_o this_o world_n resolution_n and_o happiness_n if_o we_o exceed_v or_o come_v short_a of_o that_o element_n either_o the_o height_n and_o fineness_n of_o the_o air_n agree_v not_o with_o our_o lung_n and_o subsistence_n or_o we_o be_v dampt_v and_o suffocate_v in_o a_o over_o earthly_a and_o phlegmatic_a dulness_n as_o in_o square_a pave_v stone_n such_o only_o endure_v the_o earth_n and_o open_a weather_n as_o be_v neither_o overhard_a nor_o soft_a so_o be_v it_o in_o the_o temper_n of_o man_n spirit_n for_o the_o undergo_n of_o this_o world_n incident_n happy_a such_o as_o most_o slight_o pass_v through_o it_o yea_o god_n himself_o require_v that_o we_o esteem_v it_o as_o but_o a_o passage_n to_o eternity_n a_o point_n a_o nothing_o in_o respect_n he_o only_o can_v fill_v and_o satisfy_v the_o curious_a soul_n i_o can_v be_v sorry_a that_o the_o pleasure_n of_o this_o life_n concern_v i_o neither_o in_o use_n nor_o affection_n when_o i_o consider_v their_o sting_n their_o molestation_n and_o emptiness_n compare_v with_o the_o sweet_a comfort_n of_o god_n favour_n and_o the_o blessedness_n of_o everlasting_a life_n there_o like_o the_o upper_a region_n dwell_v all_o peace_n purity_n and_o glory_n here_o all_o corruption_n meteor_n of_o imperfect_a mixtion_n storm_n and_o calamity_n there_o be_v our_o true_a country_n and_o region_n where_o when_o god_n shall_v have_v refine_v we_o we_o shall_v live_v and_o shine_v more_o glorious_a than_o the_o star_n i_o have_v promiscuous_o specify_v the_o cause_n and_o original_n of_o my_o melancholy_a disease_n i_o be_v deep_o engage_v in_o it_o before_o i_o suspect_v it_o and_o have_v give_v so_o much_o way_n to_o it_o to_o take_v root_n in_o i_o as_o make_v the_o cure_n most_o difficult_a it_o be_v a_o goliath_n but_o we_o must_v not_o like_a david_n fight_v against_o it_o with_o our_o own_o arm_n
pleasure_n and_o profit_n whereof_o i_o may_v have_v be_v capable_a but_o for_o myself_o i_o regret_n it_o not_o for_o alas_o how_o vain_a how_o transitory_a how_o full_a of_o vexation_n be_v the_o best_a of_o earthly_a commodity_n etc._n etc._n truth_n have_v be_v say_v to_o be_v the_o object_n of_o the_o understanding_n and_o good_a of_o the_o will_v totus_fw-la teres_fw-la atque_fw-la rotundus_fw-la express_v a_o honest_a man_n yet_o a_o bowl_n perfect_o round_a except_o upon_o a_o ground_n exact_o plain_a hold_v not_o well_o its_o straight_a line_n and_o way_n a_o strong_a bias_n better_o maintain_v itself_o against_o whampe_n and_o unevennesse_n so_o do_v a_o man_n bias_v with_o some_o sinister_a affection_n often_o run_v a_o more_o constant_a and_o thrive_a course_n than_o he_o who_o have_v constitute_v truth_n and_o true_a good_a his_o mistress_n but_o himself_o be_v round_o and_o his_o way_n uncertain_a and_o uneven_a he_o vary_v and_o fluctuate_v according_o as_o i_o have_v often_o say_v truth_n to_o we_o be_v such_o obscure_a high_a twinkle_a star_n that_o we_o hardly_o fasten_v upon_o they_o what_o please_v we_o be_v only_o certain_a unto_o we_o i_o speak_v in_o a_o natural_a way_n for_o supernatural_o in_o faith_n alone_o be_v all_o truth_n all_o good_a certainty_n and_o pleasure_n till_o god_n give_v i_o that_o happy_a gift_n i_o be_v a_o bowl_n without_o bias_n a_o ship_n without_o steer_n or_o star_n i_o be_v more_o than_o most_o miserable_a if_o my_o resentment_n my_o heart_n and_o affection_n be_v set_v upon_o this_o world_n but_o i_o humble_o thank_v god_n it_o be_v far_o otherwise_o with_o i_o and_o now_o as_o there_o ever_o have_v be_v a_o difference_n make_v between_o such_o as_o cast_v themselves_o into_o open_a and_o eminent_a mischief_n and_o such_o as_o fall_v into_o unhappy_a consequence_n of_o evil_n unforeseen_a so_o hope_v i_o to_o find_v favour_n i_o and_o pardon_n from_o the_o better_a sort_n and_o the_o worst_a i_o respect_v not_o and_o as_o that_o prince_n who_o plain_a in_o personage_n and_o habit_n be_v by_o mistake_v set_v to_o drudge_n for_o his_o own_o entertainment_n and_o be_v discover_v and_o demand_v what_o he_o mean_v answer_v that_o he_o do_v penance_n for_o his_o evil-favourednesse_a so_o be_o i_o content_v to_o undergo_v and_o submit_v myself_o to_o the_o not_o undeserved_a penance_n of_o my_o fate_n with_o a_o acquiescence_n of_o fiat_n voluntas_fw-la tua_fw-la sed_fw-la libre_fw-la a_o nos_fw-la a_o malo_fw-la january_n 2._o 1637._o nemo_fw-la laeditur_fw-la nisi_fw-la a_o seipso_fw-la never_o prove_v itself_o more_o true_a then_o in_o i_o i_o have_v be_v both_o agent_n and_o author_n of_o my_o misery_n and_o suffering_n i_o have_v be_v both_o criminal_a and_o tormenter_n god_n make_v i_o strong_a i_o have_v make_v myself_o weak_a god_n entrust_v i_o with_o many_o talent_n of_o advantage_n above_o other_o i_o have_v misemployed_n and_o abuse_v they_o and_o myself_o from_o my_o youth_n i_o have_v suffer_v his_o scourge_n and_o terror_n with_o a_o trouble_a soul_n yet_o such_o be_v his_o mercy_n unto_o i_o that_o it_o be_v good_a and_o happy_a for_o i_o that_o i_o have_v be_v trouble_v as_o i_o have_v turn_v unto_o he_o he_o have_v be_v gracious_o please_v to_o turn_v his_o countenance_n of_o favour_n towards_o i_o heal_v my_o wound_n with_o the_o sovereign_a balm_n of_o his_o grace_n and_o refresh_v my_o soul_n with_o his_o water_n of_o life_n humble_v i_o to_o exalt_v i_o and_o chastise_v i_o in_o a_o fatherly_a correction_n to_o prevent_v my_o eternal_a punishment_n how_o sweet_a oh_o lord_n be_v thy_o mercy_n beyond_o comparison_n beyond_o my_o expression_n the_o false_a and_o flatter_a joy_n of_o sensuality_n be_v mere_a sourness_n bitterness_n and_o vexation_n in_o respect_n continue_v thy_o grace_n unto_o i_o perfect_a thy_o own_o work_n and_o make_v i_o a_o instrument_n of_o thy_o glory_n confirm_v i_o in_o the_o contempt_n of_o this_o world_n vanity_n and_o as_o on_o i_o so_o work_v upon_o the_o world_n by_o thy_o almighty_a spirit_n thy_o save_a health_n that_o thy_o will_n may_v be_v do_v in_o earth_n as_o in_o heaven_n nothing_o but_o thy_o all-powerfull_a spirit_n can_v effect_v it_o draw_v we_o and_o we_o shall_v come_v and_o let_v it_o be_v through_o tribulation_n sorrow_n fire_n and_o whatsoever_o long_a or_o short_a a_o fair_a or_o rugged_a way_n so_o it_o lead_v to_o thou_o we_o shall_v be_v happy_a above_o measure_n amen_o amen_n sweet_a saviour_n let_v thy_o precious_a wound_n cure_v i_o and_o save_v my_o soul_n which_o be_v by_o purchase_v thou_o january_n 15._o 1637._o beauty_n and_o the_o delight_n of_o the_o eye_n consist_v in_o well-ordered_a lustre_n of_o colour_n proportion_n and_o motion_n yet_o forbear_v it_o not_o to_o be_v extraordinary_o affect_v in_o the_o enjoy_n of_o such_o object_n as_o the_o appetite_n and_o fantasy_n have_v prescribe_v to_o themselves_o for_o a_o necessary_a or_o voluptuous_a satisfaction_n whereby_o appear_v that_o we_o become_v most_o ravish_v and_o transport_v by_o the_o operation_n and_o co-operation_n of_o the_o mind_n who_o true_a and_o noble_a object_n be_v virtue_n and_o goodness_n hence_o spring_v the_o conceit_n that_o if_o virtue_n be_v visible_a it_o will_v beget_v in_o we_o most_o transcendent_a affection_n so_o beautiful_a so_o amiable_a it_o will_v be_v to_o a_o generous_a soul_n god_n be_v the_o author_n and_o prototype_n of_o all_o beauty_n and_o goodness_n how_o infinite_o then_o beyond_o comparison_n sweet_a fair_a and_o lovely_a must_v he_o be_v to_o such_o as_o apprehend_v and_o contemplate_v his_o glory_n and_o to_o who_o he_o impart_v himself_o and_o his_o mercy_n as_o the_o sight_n of_o the_o body_n of_o the_o sun_n so_o fill_v the_o sense_n that_o for_o the_o present_a it_o can_v admit_v no_o other_o conceit_n so_o do_v the_o glorious_a speculation_n of_o god_n essence_n and_o majesty_n annihilate_v and_o expel_v all_o earthly_a affection_n how_o vain_a how_o most_o poor_a and_o bestial_a be_v vulgar_a delight_n in_o respect_n of_o that_o tincture_n that_o rapture_n and_o eternity_n of_o bliss_n which_o flow_v from_o his_o divine_a grace_n and_o knowledge_n how_o be_v it_o possible_a after_o such_o influence_n to_o relish_v the_o drossy_a pleasure_n of_o the_o world_n for_o the_o most_o part_n common_a with_o beast_n fleet_a molest_a lame_a miserable_a be_v the_o heart_n which_o he_o do_v not_o season_n disconsolate_a the_o comfort_n which_o proceed_v not_o from_o his_o grace_n who_o without_o that_o can_v live_v content_v can_v be_v content_a to_o be_v one_o of_o circe_n beast_n and_o live_v and_o die_v in_o a_o drunken_a fit_n i_o most_o humble_o thank_v thou_o my_o gracious_a god_n and_o saviour_n that_o thou_o have_v vouchsafe_v to_o open_v my_o eye_n to_o thy_o glory_n and_o the_o world_n vanity_n till_o than_o i_o never_o find_v solid_a or_o permanent_a comfort_n i_o have_v like_o other_o be_v apt_a to_o conceive_v that_o this_o world_n delight_n be_v our_o proper_a portion_n of_o thy_o assignment_n but_o thy_o great_a grace_n have_v enlighten_v i_o and_o with_o a_o strong_a hand_n teach_v i_o to_o choose_v the_o better_a part_n i_o have_v since_o thy_o illumination_n affect_v above_o all_o thing_n to_o set_v forth_o thy_o grace_n mercy_n and_o glory_n but_o pardon_v i_o oh_o lord_n they_o surpass_v my_o poor_a ability_n i_o be_o a_o earthen_a vessel_n weak_a and_o craze_a as_o unable_a as_o unworthy_a to_o be_v a_o fit_a instrument_n to_o sound_v forth_o thy_o praise_n i_o be_v ambitious_a to_o have_v wrought_v thy_o divine_a love_n upon_o other_o that_o they_o with_o i_o may_v constitute_v thou_o the_o sole_a scope_n and_o lord_n of_o their_o counsel_n their_o project_n their_o action_n but_o a_o full_a and_o rich_a magazine_n than_o i_o and_o a_o strong_a health_n be_v require_v pardon_v oh_o lord_n that_o i_o withdraw_v myself_o conscious_a of_o my_o weakness_n and_o inability_n but_o what_o my_o pen_n can_v attain_v my_o tongue_n and_o action_n shall_v by_o thy_o grace_n endeavour_v to_o supply_v january_n 14._o 1637._o charity_n imply_v the_o love_n of_o god_n and_o man_n without_o it_o whatsoever_o we_o pretend_v we_o be_v infidel_n object_n of_o hatred_n to_o our_o maker_n to_o our_o inferior_n what_o condition_n can_v be_v more_o contemptible_a no_o delight_n be_v comparable_a to_o that_o which_o reflect_v upon_o a_o good_a mind_n from_o its_o own_o goodness_n extend_v upon_o other_o especial_o when_o our_o conscience_n bear_v we_o witness_v that_o we_o do_v it_o out_o of_o a_o true_a love_n and_o obedience_n to_o our_o most_o merciful_a and_o omnipotent_a god_n to_o pretend_v faith_n and_o be_v without_o charity_n be_v to_o mock_v god_n and_o ourselves_o better_o be_v it_o for_o we_o to_o be_v like_o beast_n without_o all_o knowledge_n of_o god_n then_o to_o play_v
your_o bound_n place_n force_v no_o man_n they_o have_v their_o several_a advantage_n and_o disadvantage_n like_o other_o thing_n and_o be_v to_o be_v embrace_v as_o discretion_n and_o affection_n shall_v lead_v certain_o the_o travail_a course_n use_v of_o late_a especial_o in_o the_o most_o spiritual_a and_o academical_a mind_n breed_v a_o great_a partiality_n to_o the_o equal_a conversation_n of_o town_n but_o not_o without_o danger_n of_o be_v alien_v from_o the_o knowledge_n of_o your_o own_o and_o as_o much_o abuse_v therein_o by_o other_o as_o of_o abuse_v yourself_o in_o be_v carry_v away_o with_o the_o city_n vanity_n and_o unfruitful_a idleness_n the_o country_n life_n be_v assure_o most_o natural_a pleasant_a settle_a and_o profitable_a to_o the_o english_a breed_n and_o course_n do_v but_o you_o care_v for_o yourself_o as_o i_o have_v care_v for_o you_o and_o all_o shall_v with_o god_n blessing_n go_v well_o with_o your_o mind_n and_o well_o with_o your_o fortune_n seek_v your_o happiness_n from_o god_n grace_n and_o bounty_n he_o will_v not_o fail_v to_o give_v it_o you_o make_v christ_n your_o rock_n and_o you_o have_v a_o sure_a foundation_n december_n 19_o 1637._o quos_fw-la perdere_fw-la vult_fw-la jupiter_n hos_fw-la dementat_fw-la be_v a_o true_a say_n apply_v to_o a_o false_a god_n but_o my_o god_n have_v often_o deprive_v i_o in_o some_o particular_n of_o the_o use_n of_o my_o ordinary_a reason_n and_o discourse_n to_o act_v thing_n against_o my_o knowledge_n my_o end_n my_o resolution_n and_o myself_o he_o have_v raise_v oftentimes_o strange_a and_o independent_a combine_v constellation_n against_o i_o i_o have_v evident_o discover_v his_o footstep_n therein_o and_o he_o have_v thereby_o lead_v i_o to_o my_o salvation_n there_o be_v no_o redemption_n to_o mankind_n but_o in_o christ_n nor_o can_v the_o wound_a and_o trouble_a soul_n find_v any_o other_o sanctuary_n he_o alone_o be_v the_o horn_n of_o our_o salvation_n the_o cornueopia_n of_o a_o perfect_a plenty_n and_o felicity_n unto_o we_o in_o this_o and_o the_o eternal_a life_n i_o have_v be_v master_n of_o a_o dog_n who_o when_o i_o have_v threaten_v in_o stead_n of_o fly_v he_o have_v appease_v i_o by_o a_o submiss_a fawn_a upon_o i_o thou_o my_o god_n be_v in_o like_a manner_n merciful_a to_o such_o as_o seek_v thou_o and_o humble_v themselves_o unto_o thou_o praise_v to_o thy_o bless_a name_n for_o evermore_o amen_o amen_n january_n 21._o 1637._o our_o faith_n be_v well_o allude_v to_o a_o rock_n and_o our_o saviour_n to_o the_o cornerstone_n of_o a_o building_n for_o without_o they_o we_o be_v all_o totter_a and_o infirm_a nor_o do_v the_o sweetness_n of_o any_o earthly_a pleasure_n make_v amends_o for_o a_o unstable_a wander_a mind_n good_a god_n why_o do_v thou_o not_o to_o frailty_n give_v one_o life_n to_o learn_v another_o life_n to_o live_v why_o so_o it_o be_v who_o here_o do_v thou_o regard_n eternal_a life_n and_o joy_n be_v his_o reward_n suave_fw-la mari_fw-fr magno_fw-la turbantibus_fw-la aequora_fw-la ventis_fw-la eterra_fw-la alterius_fw-la magnum_fw-la spectare_fw-la laborem_fw-la unexpressible_a be_v that_o tranquillity_n ease_n joy_n and_o peace_n which_o i_o find_v by_o have_v free_v myself_o from_o this_o world_n common_a interest_n and_o encumbrance_n my_o soul_n be_v like_o a_o bird_n escape_v from_o the_o fowler_n net_n and_o i_o be_o as_o a_o free_a spectator_n behold_v the_o busy_a burden_a actor_n of_o this_o world_n tragedy_n comedy_n farcies_o and_o folly_n good_a lord_n confirm_v i_o more_o and_o more_o and_o make_v i_o thankful_a in_o such_o my_o joy_n once_o belong_v to_o the_o alphabet_n sonnet_n of_o the_o letter_n e._n but_o we_o like_o false-bred_n eagle_n fly_v the_o sight_n of_o thy_o to_o humane_a sense_n confound_v light_n bartas_n and_o herbert_n lead_v but_o fly_v so_o high_a our_o flowery_a waxen_a wing_n dare_v not_o come_v nigh_o or_o it_o be_v hard_a to_o see_v they_o hard_o to_o come_v nigh_o verse_n i_o confess_v though_o such_o be_v best_a which_o most_o resemble_v prose_n yet_o as_o i_o be_o now_o affect_v especial_o in_o that_o measure_n which_o i_o have_v late_o choose_v be_v not_o so_o fit_v to_o my_o present_a subject_n there_o be_v divers_a kind_n and_o degree_n of_o faith_n the_o generality_n of_o such_o as_o call_v and_o think_v themselves_o christian_n go_v on_o in_o a_o course_n childish_a kind_n of_o faith_n which_o give_v little_a tincture_n to_o their_o affection_n and_o less_o to_o their_o action_n yet_o according_a to_o their_o nature_n in_o some_o thing_n they_o make_v more_o in_o other_o less_o conscience_n in_o a_o far_o proceed_n and_o consideration_n of_o religion_n they_o lay_v hold_v on_o christ_n and_o use_v he_o as_o a_o salve_n for_o their_o sin_n and_o sinful_a propension_n but_o when_o the_o good_a spirit_n of_o god_n by_o mean_n of_o affliction_n or_o otherwise_o thorough_o awaken_v they_o and_o work_n upon_o their_o soul_n then_o and_o not_o till_o then_o be_v we_o true_o convert_v then_o be_v our_o eye_n open_v to_o see_v and_o feel_v the_o ugliness_n of_o sin_n with_o the_o sweetness_n of_o his_o save_a grace_n and_o favour_n and_o thus_o oh_o lord_n have_v it_o please_v thou_o in_o thy_o infinite_a mercy_n to_o work_v upon_o i_o now_o i_o see_v and_o pity_v the_o world_n vanity_n and_o corruption_n now_o as_o thou_o have_v die_v for_o i_o i_o will_v rather_o die_v a_o thousand_o death_n then_o to_o grieve_v thy_o good_a spirit_n by_o my_o least_o consent_n to_o sin_n as_o thou_o have_v do_v to_o i_o so_o vouchsafe_v to_o extend_v thy_o extraordinary_a hand_n of_o mercy_n upon_o other_o withhold_v they_o from_o sophisticate_a thy_o sincere_a religion_n with_o their_o poor_a and_o rot_a policy_n we_o may_v say_v of_o it_o as_o some_o use_v it_o as_o be_v say_v of_o tilt_n and_o tourney_n that_o it_o be_v too_o much_o for_o jest_n too_o little_a for_o earnest_n it_o can_v be_v expect_v that_o the_o people_n will_v follow_v except_o their_o teacher_n lead_v and_o in_o the_o sincerity_n of_o their_o life_n show_v the_o way_n their_o tithe_n be_v substance_n their_o show_n and_o ceremony_n alone_o in_o thy_o service_n deserve_v they_o not_o magistrates_n when_o they_o obey_v thou_o may_v more_o just_o and_o exact_o expect_v our_o obedience_n a_o gross_a affectation_n of_o policy_n in_o religion_n minister_v too_o much_o occasion_n to_o weak_a christian_n to_o judge_n and_o conclude_v of_o religion_n rather_o as_o a_o humane_a policy_n then_o divine_a truth_n if_o any_o sin_n be_v venial_a such_o appear_v most_o pardonable_a as_o carry_v with_o they_o a_o kind_n of_o warrant_n from_o nature_n and_o a_o gratification_n to_o other_o and_o thou_o o_o god_n art_n least_o indulgent_a to_o such_o as_o offend_v of_o malicious_a wickedness_n they_o be_v like_o the_o planet_n and_o star_n in_o the_o heaven_n to_o guide_v and_o comfort_v we_o by_o their_o sweet_a influence_n when_o they_o prove_v malign_v which_o the_o star_n seldom_o do_v they_o be_v our_o mischief_n and_o our_o plague_n and_o as_o the_o star_n have_v their_o shine_a and_o influence_n more_o for_o our_o than_o their_o own_o good_a so_o ought_v they_o to_o exercise_v their_o power_n it_o be_v a_o soul_n unhappy_a fancy_n that_o please_v itself_o in_o displease_v other_o i_o have_v of_o late_o be_v urge_v to_o work_v and_o be_o at_o this_o time_n work_v upon_o a_o piece_n of_o ground_n which_o have_v long_o be_v design_v for_o garden_v and_o so_o employ_v it_o have_v have_v much_o cost_n and_o industry_n bestow_v upon_o it_o but_o the_o nature_n of_o the_o soil_n consist_v of_o so_o stiff_a a_o clay_n that_o it_o have_v ever_o render_v a_o ill_a account_n and_o return_v of_o such_o feed_v and_o plant_n as_o have_v be_v entrust_v unto_o it_o lusty_a and_o fruitful_a it_o have_v show_v itself_o in_o grass_n and_o rank_n in_o weed_n there_o be_v a_o evil_a herb_n they_o call_v twitch_n which_o have_v overrun_v it_o of_o such_o nature_n that_o have_v once_o possess_v a_o ground_n the_o soil_n must_v be_v whole_o alter_v and_o overcome_v or_o no_o good_a thing_n will_v thrive_v commit_v unto_o it_o my_o gardener_n to_o work_v a_o cure_n have_v not_o only_o dig_v and_o manure_v but_o have_v bring_v a_o new_a and_o better_a earth_n upon_o it_o so_o that_o now_o with_o a_o due_a industry_n and_o water_v observe_v it_o can_v hardly_o fail_v to_o yield_v a_o grateful_a and_o faithful_a fertility_n some_o soil_n be_v cure_v by_o much_o break_n some_o by_o fire_n some_o by_o inundation_n frost_n and_o hard_a weather_n make_v a_o good_a preparation_n all_o be_v happy_a that_o confer_v a_o better_n and_o improvement_n in_o the_o disease_n of_o our_o body_n where_o a_o evil_a habit_n prevail_v and_o ill_a humour_n abound_v some_o be_v rectify_v by_o purgation_n some_o
there_o may_v seem_v to_o be_v in_o part_n of_o their_o discipline_n and_o tenant_n certain_o there_o be_v little_a christian_a wisdom_n and_o less_o devotion_n to_o admit_v corruption_n and_o falsehood_n upon_o any_o policy_n god_n truth_n stand_v not_o in_o need_n of_o our_o simulation_n and_o lie_n a_o discover_v wolf_n and_o impostor_n let_v his_o clothing_n be_v what_o it_o list_v shall_v never_o deceive_v i_o and_o in_o a_o sincere_a way_n i_o can_v almost_o as_o easy_o consent_v to_o be_v of_o no_o formal_a religion_n as_o of_o a_o false_a one_o but_o they_o will_v tell_v some_o of_o the_o witty_a among_o we_o that_o there_o be_v no_o assurance_n no_o alacrity_n in_o a_o calvinist_n spirit_n indeed_o their_o clergy_n be_v very_o kind_a in_o charge_v their_o own_o soul_n to_o seem_v to_o ease_v we_o by_o a_o implicit_a faith_n and_o absolution_n if_o i_o be_v to_o choose_v a_o religion_n for_o my_o ease_n and_o liberty_n it_o shall_v be_v they_o but_o i_o know_v too_o much_o of_o religion_n and_o they_o to_o be_v of_o that_o mind_n i_o can_v but_o make_v use_n of_o my_o own_o eye_n in_o a_o way_n that_o so_o much_o import_v i_o nor_o can_v i_o yield_v to_o resign_v they_o they_o at_o their_o request_n now_o as_o it_o be_v my_o prayer_n so_o will_v i_o endeavour_v to_o retain_v a_o confidence_n against_o such_o apprehension_n and_o will_v persevere_v with_o you_o as_o well_o to_o judge_v as_o hope_v the_o best_a this_o discourse_n though_o i_o be_o more_o unfit_a for_o it_o then_o it_o for_o i_o i_o have_v adventure_v upon_o in_o full_a discharge_n of_o my_o heart_n and_o soul_n nor_o will_v i_o forget_v to_o put_v you_o clergy_n man_n into_o my_o prayer_n for_o next_o to_o christ_n and_o the_o king_n from_o your_o sincerity_n of_o doctrine_n spirit_n and_o life_n must_v flow_v our_o peace_n happiness_n and_o salvation_n if_o you_o preach_v christ_n more_o than_o yourselves_o and_o teach_v inward_a more_o than_o outward_a holiness_n we_o shall_v learn_v from_o you_o to_o become_v more_o true_o christian_n then_o hypocritical_o pharisaical_a you_o may_v otherwise_o confound_v and_o ruin_v yourselves_o and_o we_o from_o which_o mischief_n and_o misery_n may_v it_o please_v our_o merciful_a god_n and_o saviour_n to_o deliver_v we_o amen_n amen_n septemb_n 5._o 1638._o habitual_a virtue_n insuperable_a there_o be_v a_o admirable_a communication_n and_o intelligence_n as_o well_o as_o league_n and_o colligence_n between_o the_o body_n and_o soul_n they_o act_n the_o one_o upon_o the_o other_o they_o suffer_v the_o one_o from_o the_o other_o sometime_o the_o one_o sometime_o the_o other_o lead_v the_o dance_n if_o the_o mind_n be_v sad_a the_o body_n be_v heavy_a if_o rejoice_v active_a and_o so_o contrariwise_o the_o sickness_n of_o the_o body_n deject_v the_o mind_n and_o health_n give_v it_o alacrity_n the_o oeconomy_n of_o the_o body_n concoction_n and_o faculty_n be_v disturb_v and_o hinder_v by_o the_o trouble_n of_o the_o mind_n so_o be_v 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intricacy_n and_o nature_n of_o thing_n and_o question_n unto_o we_o as_o will_v beget_v a_o modesty_n and_o restraint_n as_o well_o to_o our_o contentious_a discourse_n as_o scribble_n god_n have_v put_v i_o as_o well_o into_o a_o way_n of_o health_n for_o my_o body_n as_o my_o soul_n if_o i_o wrong_v not_o the_o one_o by_o the_o other_o he_o have_v clear_v my_o mist_n and_o confusion_n by_o the_o sunshine_n of_o his_o grace_n god_n make_v i_o constant_a to_o myself_o and_o he_o amen_n amen_n postcript_n to_o make_v i_o also_o the_o rather_o consent_v to_o withdraw_v myself_o i_o find_v that_o already_o in_o my_o wild_a diversity_n i_o have_v fall_v upon_o so_o many_o notion_n that_o for_o the_o most_o part_n that_o i_o now_o take_v up_o be_v apt_a to_o enterfere_v with_o what_o i_o have_v former_o touch_v and_o the_o very_a avoid_n will_v become_v near_o as_o troublesome_a as_o the_o deliver_n of_o myself_o septemb_n the_o 28._o 1638._o if_o to_o be_v temperate_a and_o good_a it_o be_v hard_a will_v easy_a be_v and_o seldom_o fail_v reward_n but_o who_o nor_o be_v nor_o go_v about_o to_o be_v shame_n may_v he_o reap_v his_o vice_n proper_a fee_n sweetness_n of_o goodness_n be_v the_o world_n as_o fit_a to_o hear_v as_o i_o dare_v be_v free_a to_o communicate_v my_o most_o secret_a thought_n i_o can_v and_o possible_o will_v use_v another_o manner_n of_o openness_n than_o i_o do_v i_o often_o appear_v profuse_a in_o respect_n of_o other_o when_o i_o be_o reserve_v in_o respect_n of_o myself_o i_o be_o full_a of_o vanity_n and_o error_n yet_o such_o as_o a_o good_a man_n and_o christian_n may_v and_o for_o the_o most_o part_n must_v undergo_v though_o not_o approve_v absolution_n must_v proceed_v from_o god_n and_o he_o alone_o be_v idoneous_a for_o a_o entire_a and_o unreserved_a confession_n i_o have_v abound_v in_o a_o exorbitant_a fancy_n passion_n and_o infirmity_n some_o man_n account_v tenderness_n of_o conscience_n a_o silly_a weakness_n of_o mind_n i_o 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and_o favour_n to_o i_o and_o my_o total_a surrender_n unto_o he_o faith_n be_v the_o sole_a catholicon_n and_o general_a antidote_n against_o worldly_a perturbation_n he_o have_v wonderful_o exempt_v i_o from_o scorn_n from_o want_n and_o all_o great_a infirmity_n he_o have_v satisfy_v all_o my_o reasonable_a affectation_n even_o to_o this_o of_o writing_n wherein_o i_o have_v so_o disburden_v myself_o that_o though_o it_o be_v hard_a to_o write_v true_o and_o not_o inconvenient_o or_o any_o thing_n to_o the_o full_a satisfaction_n either_o of_o other_o or_o myself_o yet_o i_o have_v do_v enough_o to_o resolve_v to_o withdraw_v myself_o from_o it_o confine_v myself_o hereafter_o to_o write_v nothing_o but_o necessary_a letter_n and_o subscribe_v myself_o your_o ladyship_n most_o humble_a and_o faithful_a servant_n noble_a sir_n corona_n your_o late_a request_n which_o be_v to_o i_o a_o oblige_a command_n make_v i_o send_v you_o that_o piece_n which_o you_o honour_v with_o your_o pretend_a conversion_n i_o never_o think_v it_o any_o thing_n till_o now_o and_o now_o i_o make_v it_o you_o that_o it_o may_v receive_v some_o further_a virtue_n of_o operation_n from_o you_o and_o see_v i_o find_v you_o a_o proposition_n convertible_fw-fr i_o presume_v to_o lend_v you_o another_o piece_n of_o simple_a conversion_n it_o consist_v of_o a_o few_o beg_a verse_n if_o you_o find_v they_o blind_a impute_v it_o to_o their_o hasty_a and_o zealous_a production_n they_o beg_v a_o hand_n from_o god_n a_o favourable_a eye_n from_o you_o from_o he_o fatherly_a from_o you_o friendly_a correction_n they_o need_v it_o from_o you_o and_o the_o less_o you_o need_v from_o they_o the_o more_o your_o happiness_n and_o their_o obligation_n i_o submit_v they_o and_o myself_o to_o you_o as_o your_o faithful_a servant_n to_o you_o who_o sincere_a faith_n to_o god_n and_o christian_a religion_n good_a affection_n towards_o i_o and_o good_a discretion_n and_o judgement_n in_o all_o thing_n be_v
and_o quiet_a retreat_n from_o the_o world_n and_o worldly_a care_n have_v long_o be_v as_o you_o know_v and_o still_o be_v all_o my_o ambition_n it_o be_v easy_a to_o wish_v then_o to_o find_v my_o appetite_n to_o the_o world_n be_v never_o much_o howsoever_o i_o have_v appear_v if_o ever_o it_o have_v be_v any_o thing_n it_o be_v now_o past_a my_o conversation_n be_v more_o in_o the_o other_o world_n than_o this_o and_o that_o the_o rather_o see_v if_o my_o distaste_n mislead_v i_o not_o the_o generality_n of_o man_n spirit_n be_v not_o possess_v with_o that_o sweetness_n courtesy_n familiarity_n indulgency_n and_o love_n to_o goodness_n as_o be_v wont_a to_o be_v but_o here_o my_o paper_n force_v i_o to_o a_o end_n and_o to_o profess_v myself_o as_o you_o shall_v ever_o find_v i_o 1640_o be_v sincere_o affectionate_a friend_n and_o servant_n du._n north_n sen._n a_o sudden_a free_a and_o opportune_a discourse_n to_o the_o present_a 28._o of_o march_n 1641._o our_o weather_n be_v say_v to_o have_v be_v much_o more_o gentle_a then_o in_o the_o more_o southerly_a neighbour_a part_n the_o entrance_n of_o the_o spring_n prove_v fair_a and_o more_o seasonable_a then_o of_o late_a year_n our_o storm_n and_o distemper_n possess_v our_o spiritual_a and_o politic_a part_n this_o parliament_n be_v our_o crisis_n and_o time_n of_o physic_n which_o if_o unlucky_a our_o state_n be_v desperate_a and_o health_n in_o truth_n be_v never_o to_o be_v despair_v till_o the_o body_n can_v bear_v the_o remedy_n acute_a and_o press_a disease_n hardly_o admit_v of_o long_a and_o preparative_n course_n and_o often_o as_o little_a of_o violence_n the_o fair_a and_o just_a temper_n of_o our_o spirit_n have_v cast_v we_o upon_o more_o regular_a though_o long_a way_n of_o reformation_n and_o punishment_n than_o the_o practice_n of_o former_a more_o tumultuous_a time_n but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n our_o physic_n and_o physician_n prove_v so_o costly_a as_o offend_v whilst_o it_o mend_v such_o may_v be_v the_o peccant_a humour_n as_o the_o body_n may_v be_v soon_o overthrow_v than_o they_o extirpate_v to_o put_v off_o the_o present_a paroxysme_n induce_v a_o good_a diet_n and_o abate_v predominant_a malignity_n may_v possible_o suffice_v to_o overcome_v danger_n and_o exempt_v the_o body_n from_o be_v obnoxious_a to_o every_o reside_a venom_n our_o disease_n have_v consist_v in_o the_o trouble_n of_o our_o church_n and_o liberty_n for_o church_n matter_n as_o we_o have_v go_v slow_o on_o so_o still_o they_o stick_v in_o our_o own_o distraction_n god_n be_v praise_v our_o difference_n be_v rather_o about_o discipline_n then_o doctrine_n and_o certain_o so_o far_o as_o the_o scripture_n prescribe_v a_o competent_a general_a rule_n therein_o it_o must_v and_o aught_o to_o prevail_v where_o it_o leave_v a_o latitude_n we_o may_v respect_v ourselves_o and_o the_o time_n not_o without_o charity_n to_o other_o scruple_n and_o as_o far_o as_o may_v be_v a_o affectation_n of_o 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to_o kiss_v may_v justice_n and_o mercy_n as_o well_o we_o be_v upon_o a_o indissoluble_a conjunction_n of_o king_n and_o people_n scotland_n and_o england_n reconcilement_n in_o religion_n and_o a_o marriage_n with_o the_o young_a prince_n of_o orange_n and_o his_o majesty_n elder_a daughter_n and_o now_o as_o it_o have_v please_v the_o almighty_a miraculous_o to_o effect_v that_o scotland_n and_o england_n several_o within_o themselves_o have_v pass_v hitherto_o through_o their_o late_a great_a trouble_n as_o also_o their_o force_n raise_v one_o against_o the_o other_o with_o a_o in_o consider_v able_a bloodshed_n how_o happy_a i_o say_v will_v it_o be_v if_o any_o expedient_a &_o security_n can_v be_v find_v to_o save_v time_n cost_n and_o blood_n with_o a_o celebration_n of_o all_o these_o happy_a consummation_n in_o some_o other_o accommodation_n such_o as_o a_o submission_n to_o fine_a banishment_n exclusion_n from_o all_o public_a business_n and_o advice_n to_o the_o satisfaction_n of_o justice_n upon_o transcendent_a misdemeanour_n and_o this_o to_o be_v the_o better_o assure_v by_o manucaption_n of_o friend_n or_o otherwise_o pity_v it_o be_v that_o this_o expect_a jubilee_n shall_v not_o pass_v if_o reasonable_o without_o stain_n of_o blood_n and_o sure_o his_o majesty_n be_v too_o good_a and_o wise_a ever_o to_o readmit_v though_o it_o be_v leave_v free_a unto_o he_o minister_n so_o hateful_a prejudge_v and_o unhappy_a as_o they_o who_o now_o be_v question_v have_v be_v unto_o he_o but_o this_o be_v rather_o my_o wish_n then_o conclusion_n and_o hope_n i_o have_v in_o my_o hasty_a unaffected_a manner_n disburden_v myself_o i_o have_v i_o thank_v god_n no_o affection_n or_o passion_n but_o what_o be_v requisite_a to_o a_o good_a christian_a subject_a and_o patriot_n so_o in_o despite_n of_o all_o prejudicacy_n and_o sinister_a misconstruction_n i_o will_v ever_o be_v find_v and_o so_o i_o submit_v to_o better_a judgement_n march_n 1641._o have_v as_o my_o preface_n late_o mention_v adventure_v in_o a_o private_a way_n upon_o the_o press_n and_o that_o now_o near_o a_o end_n with_o i_o how_o censorious_a and_o tender_a soever_o the_o time_n be_v i_o can_v be_v so_o stupid_a as_o total_o to_o forbear_v a_o resentment_n of_o our_o unparalleled_a calamity_n our_o sacred_a anchor_n be_v come_v home_o our_o ultimate_a hopeful_a pacifique_a treaty_n be_v dissolve_v ecstasy_n and_o despair_n succeed_v eye_n turn_v to_o fountain_n there_o be_v no_o balm_n in_o gilead_n tantum_n religio_fw-la potuit_fw-la suadere_fw-la malorum_fw-la no_o no_o it_o be_v not_o religion_n it_o be_v nothing_o of_o sincere_a piety_n it_o be_v in_o the_o root_n the_o artifice_n the_o ambition_n the_o malice_n of_o prevaricate_a jesuit_n and_o priest_n poor_a silly_a infatuate_v laity_n they_o have_v a_o mission_n as_o of_o sheep_n among_o wolf_n but_o they_o invert_v it_o upon_o you_o they_o drive_v you_o to_o their_o shambles_n nay_o they_o prevail_v with_o you_o to_o slaughter_v one_o another_o gladiator_n of_o their_o theatre_n to_o furnish_v and_o celebrate_v their_o feast_n their_o festival_n and_o you_o unhappy_a often_o the_o best_a meaning_n though_o over-facile_a prince_n of_o the_o earth_n how_o gross_o be_v you_o frequent_o intoxicate_v by_o they_o to_o your_o own_o to_o your_o neighbour_n to_o your_o people_n funestious_a destruction_n they_o carry_v you_o irrecoverable_o by_o blind_a degree_n and_o train_n to_o the_o precipice_n of_o their_o conceal_a disguise_a pernicious_a machination_n they_o work_v upon_o the_o weakness_n and_o corruption_n of_o your_o favourite_n and_o counsellor_n who_o satanical_o tranfigure_v themselves_o into_o angel_n of_o light_a to_o abuse_v your_o over_o credulous_a goodness_n many_o time_n a_o superinduce_v preternatural_a adventitious_a malice_n invade_v a_o otherwise_o well_o choose_v counsellor_n find_v his_o conceit_a merit_n mis-received_n misinterpret_v by_o the_o vulgar_a all_o to_o your_o 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inevitable_a ruin_n alone_o must_v
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