remove_v again_o out_o of_o england_n into_o holland_n and_o i_o bring_v the_o paper_n of_o my_o experience_n with_o i_o which_o the_o ship_n be_v cast_v away_o be_v lose_v with_o the_o trunk_n in_o which_o they_o be_v then_o be_v it_o much_o set_v upon_o my_o heart_n that_o god_n be_v displease_v with_o i_o for_o not_o put_v they_o in_o print_n and_o then_o the_o gift_n of_o sing_v and_o praise_v be_v much_o cease_v and_o i_o be_v trouble_v for_o the_o which_o i_o seek_v the_o lord_n and_o do_v beg_v '_o that_o if_o he_o be_v offend_v at_o i_o for_o not_o print_v and_o leave_v they_o behind_o i_o that_o he_o will_v pardon_v it_o unto_o i_o and_o that_o if_o it_o be_v his_o good_a pleasure_n i_o shall_v write_v they_o again_o i_o do_v pray_v that_o he_o will_v let_v his_o spirit_n come_v to_o enable_v i_o again_o in_o sing_v and_o prayer_n as_o it_o be_v wont_a to_o do_v and_o be_v my_o remembrancer_n to_o write_v again_o and_o indeed_o it_o do_v so_o not_o long_o after_o in_o the_o night_n both_o in_o song_n and_o in_o prayer_n but_o then_o i_o have_v not_o time_n be_v much_o hinder_v yet_o notwithstanding_o according_a to_o the_o time_n i_o have_v i_o set_v myself_o to_o do_v it_o and_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o assist_v i_o in_o bring_v again_o to_o my_o remembrance_n thing_n of_o long_a stand_n now_o before_o i_o depart_v from_o england_n i_o be_v satisfy_v in_o my_o spirit_n that_o i_o have_v a_o clear_a call_n from_o thou_o lord_n so_o to_o do_v for_o indeed_o more_o than_o a_o year_n i_o have_v such_o a_o motion_n in_o my_o spirit_n back_v with_o many_o scripture_n for_o its_o furtherance_n yet_o notwithstanding_o in_o this_o voyage_n we_o meet_v which_o some_o diffciulty_a for_o the_o ship_n i_o come_v over_o in_o be_v cast_v away_o but_o in_o the_o time_n of_o the_o great_a trouble_n the_o lord_n give_v i_o in_o these_o promise_n that_o he_o will_v be_v with_o i_o in_o six_o trouble_n and_o in_o the_o seven_o he_o will_v not_o forsake_v i_o call_v upon_o i_o in_o the_o day_n of_o trouble_n i_o will_v hear_v thou_o and_o deliver_v thou_o and_o thou_o shall_v glorify_v i_o with_o this_o sweet_a word_n also_o thou_o shall_v not_o die_v but_o live_v to_o see_v the_o mercy_n i_o will_v show_v unto_o thou_o it_o be_v in_o the_o night_n and_o after_o some_o time_n the_o ship_n be_v a_o ground_n and_o in_o great_a danger_n and_o so_o be_v all_o the_o person_n in_o it_o one_o ask_v i_o if_o i_o be_v not_o afraid_a i_o answer_v the_o god_n of_o heaven_n my_o father_n have_v bring_v i_o hither_o and_o if_o he_o may_v have_v more_o honour_n in_o drown_v of_o i_o then_o by_o preserve_v i_o his_o will_v be_v do_v then_o when_o the_o mast_n be_v cut_v down_o and_o the_o master_n with_o some_o other_o say_v we_o be_v dead_a person_n and_o like_a to_o loose_v our_o life_n yet_o i_o have_v much_o hope_n in_o the_o lord_n because_o of_o his_o promise_n and_o after_o that_o i_o and_o some_o other_o in_o the_o ship_n with_o i_o have_v commit_v ourselves_o unto_o god_n by_o prayer_n i_o be_v in_o the_o cabbon_n lay_v i_o down_o to_o sleep_v but_o i_o have_v not_o it_o seem_v lie_v half_a a_o hour_n but_o they_o call_v we_o and_o say_v there_o be_v land_n not_o far_o of_o if_o we_o will_v seek_v for_o help_v which_o according_o we_o do_v but_o it_o be_v but_o about_o the_o break_n of_o the_o day_n we_o do_v wander_v over_o the_o sandâ—_n but_o can_v find_v no_o way_n out_o of_o the_o sea_n as_o it_o be_v compass_v we_o above_o round_o then_o we_o all_o return_v to_o the_o ship_n again_o and_o some_o conclude_v we_o must_v go_v in_o a_o perish_v there_o so_o they_o go_v in_o again_o but_o we_o say_v if_o we_o must_v perish_v we_o will_v be_v still_o seek_v to_o save_v our_o life_n and_o as_o our_o god_n to_o who_o we_o have_v commit_v ourselves_o guide_v we_o we_o go_v another_o way_n on_o the_o sand_n and_o as_o i_o be_v go_v look_v to_o god_n to_o be_v my_o pilot_n not_o know_v whether_o we_o go_v for_o the_o sea_n be_v one_o both_o side_n of_o we_o and_o we_o have_v but_o a_o small_a way_n on_o the_o sand_n to_o walk_v in_o and_o as_o i_o be_v beg_v of_o the_o lord_n to_o keep_v in_o the_o seastill_v we_o find_v out_o a_o place_n not_o only_o for_o our_o own_o escape_n but_o that_o we_o may_v see_v deliverance_n for_o our_o friend_n in_o the_o ship_n also_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o set_v this_o upon_o my_o heart_n as_o thy_o deliverance_n be_v so_o shall_v england_n be_v when_o they_o be_v bring_v to_o great_a straits_n then_o will_v deliverance_n be_v from_o god_n a_o hint_n of_o some_o night_n meditation_n and_o effect_n of_o prayer_n i_o be_v awake_a one_o night_n and_o very_o full_a of_o trouble_n in_o my_o mind_n because_o i_o be_v no_o more_o spiritual_a for_o i_o have_v find_v myself_o very_a deadhearted_n in_o prayer_n over_o night_n for_o the_o which_o i_o be_v very_o sad_o afflict_v in_o spirit_n and_o indeed_o then_o want_v place_n of_o retirement_n to_o send_v up_o strong_a cry_n unto_o the_o lord_n do_v much_o deaden_a my_o spirit_n for_o i_o find_v it_o be_v the_o practice_n of_o jesus_n christ_n sometime_o to_o be_v in_o the_o wilderness_n sometime_o in_o the_o mountain_n all_o night_n in_o prayer_n alone_o and_o sometime_o alone_o in_o the_o gardin_fw-fr and_o i_o find_v prayer_n in_o secret_a much_o accept_v with_o god_n according_a to_o that_o word_n pray_v to_o thy_o â—ather_n in_o secret_a and_o he_o will_v reward_v thou_o open_o math._n 6_o 6._o indeed_o so_o full_a of_o sorrow_o be_v i_o that_o i_o utter_v no_o word_n but_o sigâ—d_n and_o groan_v to_o the_o lord_n then_o this_o come_v in_o upon_o the_o 〈◊〉_d thou_o shall_v live_v 〈…〉_z of_o â—oâ—e_o i_o will_v the_o 〈◊〉_d 〈…〉_z be_v make_v all_o time_n to_o see_v 〈…〉_z flow_v in_o i_o then_o do_v i_o groave_v before_o the_o lord_n that_o he_o will_v give_v in_o some_o promise_n the_o lord_n cast_v in_o this_o that_o the_o grace_n or_o prayer_n be_v before_o the_o gift_n of_o prayer_n and_o that_o this_o be_v the_o grace_n of_o prayer_n to_o give_v up_o ourselves_o in_o faith_n to_o the_o guidance_n of_o the_o spirit_n and_o so_o by_o â—aith_n to_o have_v communion_n with_o the_o father_n and_o the_o son_n in_o the_o spirit_n for_o christ_n tâ—ld_v the_o woman_n john_n 4_o v._n 21_o 22_o 23._o neither_o in_o thus_o mountain_n noâ—_n in_o jerusalem_n shaâ—l_a mâ—n_z worship_n the_o father_n but_o the_o â—our_n be_v come_v a_o now_o we_o when_o the_o true_a worshippâ—rs_n shall_v worship_v the_o father_n in_o spirit_n and_o iâ—_n truth_n sor_n the_o â—ather_n sâ—â—keth_v such_o to_o worship_v he_o god_n be_v a_o spirit_n and_o they_o that_o worship_v he_o must_v worship_v he_o in_o spirit_n and_o in_o truth_n this_o woman_n than_o can_v say_v that_o christ_n will_v teach_v all_o thing_n why_o shall_v not_o we_o look_v for_o the_o teach_n of_o the_o spirit_n now_o see_v christ_n have_v not_o only_o be_v with_o we_o in_o the_o flesh_n god_n and_o man_n but_o have_v also_o promise_v we_o the_o pouring_n out_o of_o the_o spirit_n to_o teach_v we_o all_o thing_n and_o to_o bring_v all_o thing_n to_o our_o remembrance_n then_o further_o i_o be_v mourning_n that_o i_o can_v not_o enjoy_v the_o ordinance_n of_o god_n â—n_v their_o purity_n and_o the_o lord_n show_v i_o that_o i_o must_v offer_v up_o my_o 〈◊〉_d and_o when_o abraham_n go_v to_o do_v that_o he_o leave_v his_o servant_n below_o the_o hill_n and_o consulteâ—_n not_o with_o flesh_n and_o blood_n also_o afterward_o i_o have_v such_o wondered_a experience_n of_o communion_n with_o god_n through_o the_o spirit_n as_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o utter_v it_o i_o awake_v another_o night_n be_v great_o complain_v that_o the_o flesh_n do_v so_o 〈◊〉_d in_o the_o spirit_n work_n that_o when_o i_o world_n do_v good_a evil_a be_v present_a â—â—en_o do_v the_o spirit_n put_v i_o upon_o utter_v many_o heavenly_a complaint_n in_o a_o way_n of_o sing_v and_o after_o that_o with_o the_o help_n of_o the_o spirit_n to_o pray_v with_o much_o enlargâ—dness_n and_o aâ—ter_v that_o there_o be_v by_o the_o same_o spirit_n with_o very_o much_o power_n this_o word_n be_v silent_a before_o i_o all_o flesh_n oh_o and_o then_o follow_v the_o wondered_a speaking_n of_o god_n by_o his_o bless_a spirit_n to_o my_o poor_a soul_n which_o i_o can_v utter_v as_o to_o the_o manner_n of_o they_o bâ—t_v the_o nature_n of_o they_o be_v exceed_o comfort_v to_o myself_o and_o also_o fill_v 〈◊〉_d with_o great_a hope_n to_o all_o the_o people_n of_o god_n
the_o power_n of_o god_n alone_o in_o this_o time_n be_v i_o call_v by_o my_o friend_n into_o a_o dark_a corner_n of_o the_o land_n full_a of_o ignorance_n yet_o i_o be_v sore_o trouble_v especial_o when_o i_o be_v overtake_v with_o any_o sin_n still_o i_o fall_v down_o beforâ—â—he_a lord_n bewail_v my_o sin_n then_o do_v the_o lord_n give_v i_o much_o comfort_n from_o this_o place_n of_o scripture_n jer._n 31_o 20._o be_v ephraim_n my_o dear_a son_n be_v he_o a_o pleasant_a child_n for_o since_o i_o speak_v against_o he_o i_o do_v earnest_o remember_v he_o still_o therefore_o my_o bowel_n be_v trouble_v for_o he_o i_o will_v sure_o have_v mercy_n upon_o he_o say_v the_o lord_n now_o in_o the_o place_n where_o i_o be_v be_v many_o papist_n and_o they_o much_o endeavour_v to_o have_v i_o of_o their_o judgement_n but_o god_n keep_v i_o in_o a_o thirst_a frame_n of_o spirit_n after_o the_o preach_n of_o the_o word_n and_o often_o cast_v in_o my_o mind_n that_o i_o shall_v matt._n 6_o 33._o first_o seek_v the_o kingdom_n of_o god_n and_o the_o righteousness_n thereof_o and_o all_o other_o thing_n shall_v be_v add_v we_o have_v in_o that_o place_n a_o bad_a minister_n but_o to_o god_n i_o make_v my_o supplication_n and_o use_v what_o mean_v i_o can_v to_o obtain_v a_o better_a and_o god_n be_v please_v to_o answer_v my_o desire_n and_o send_v a_o better_a to_o that_o very_a place_n who_o remain_v there_o the_o time_n that_o i_o stay_v under_o who_o honest_a teach_n owe_v often_o meet_v with_o sweet_a refresh_n then_o be_v stir_v up_o by_o my_o friend_n to_o change_v my_o condition_n to_o be_v marry_v to_o a_o husband_n upon_o which_o i_o do_v earnest_o beg_v of_o god_n that_o i_o may_v have_v one_o that_o do_v fear_v the_o lord_n that_o he_o may_v be_v a_o furtherance_n to_o heaven_n and_o indeed_o so_o he_o be_v for_o i_o marry_v with_o a_o man_n that_o be_v much_o in_o practical_a diuty_n yet_o some_o difference_n there_o be_v in_o our_o judgement_n which_o often_o cause_v no_o small_a trouble_n in_o my_o spirit_n but_o it_o have_v this_o effect_n it_o cause_v i_o to_o cry_v to_o god_n and_o to_o search_v the_o scripture_n so_o much_o the_o more_o use_v all_o mean_n for_o a_o â—ight_a understanding_n in_o the_o thing_n and_o way_n of_o god_n and_o it_o become_v helpful_a to_o i_o and_o in_o this_o time_n of_o my_o earnest_n seek_v of_o god_n alone_o he_o be_v please_v to_o discover_v to_o i_o by_o dream_n and_o vision_n of_o the_o night_n the_o uggliness_n of_o sin_n in_o a_o far_o great_a manner_n than_o ever_o i_o see_v it_o before_o and_o in_o dream_n bring_v many_o scripture_n to_o mind_n that_o do_v answer_v some_o question_n and_o satisfy_v some_o doubt_n that_o be_v in_o my_o heart_n and_o so_o do_v cause_n darkness_n to_o become_v light_n before_o i_o at_o that_o time_n and_o this_o do_v the_o lord_n do_v in_o the_o absence_n of_o other_o mean_n soon_o after_o i_o gain_v information_n where_o the_o word_n be_v powerful_o preach_v but_o it_o be_v something_o far_o from_o i_o i_o have_v some_o difficulty_n to_o get_v to_o it_o yet_o it_o be_v through_o grace_n more_o to_o i_o then_o my_o ordinary_a food_n i_o keep_v close_o to_o opportunity_n of_o the_o word_n there_o preach_v which_o in_o a_o especial_a manner_n god_n be_v please_v to_o make_v very_o useful_a unto_o i_o and_o i_o enjoy_v often_o many_o sweet_a taste_n of_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n in_o his_o ordinance_n be_v carry_v out_o through_o all_o weather_n to_o wait_v upon_o he_o and_o this_o i_o can_v true_o say_v from_o real_a experience_n that_o the_o worst_a whether_o i_o go_v through_o the_o more_o of_o god_n i_o meet_v within_o his_o ordinance_n i_o remember_v one_o very_o wet_a day_n i_o have_v much_o comfort_n from_o these_o word_n let_v this_o encourage_v other_o joh._n 1_o 2_o 3._o now_o be_v we_o the_o son_n of_o god_n and_o it_o do_v not_o yet_o appear_v what_o we_o shall_v be_v and_o afterward_o while_o my_o meditation_n be_v something_o upon_o hebrew_n 6_o 5_o 6._o i_o be_v much_o stir_v up_o to_o mind_n how_o far_o a_o hypocrite_n may_v go_v in_o religion_n and_o i_o begin_v to_o consider_v whether_o or_o no_o i_o have_v go_v any_o further_a than_o such_o a_o one_o may_v go_v for_o i_o see_v plain_o that_o a_o person_n may_v go_v very_o far_o and_o yet_o be_v in_o a_o sad_a state_n though_o they_o may_v be_v â—nlightened_v and_o taste_v of_o the_o heavenly_a gist_n and_o be_v partaker_n of_o the_o holy_a spirit_n yea_o and_o taste_v of_o the_o good_a word_n and_o also_o hear_v the_o best_a preacher_n glad_o as_o herod_n do_v john_n the_o baptist_n and_o as_o agrippa_n do_v paul_n and_o yet_o be_v but_o almost_o a_o christian_n then_o i_o be_v at_o a_o sermon_n the_o word_n of_o the_o text_n be_v marc._n 6_o vers_fw-la 20._o and_o he_o do_v many_o thing_n that_o minister_n then_o show_v that_o a_o hypocrite_n or_o a_o reprobate_n may_v do_v many_o thing_n but_o yet_o a_o true_a child_n of_o god_n can_v do_v more_o he_o name_v two_o thing_n in_o which_o a_o child_n of_o god_n go_v beyond_o a_o hypocrite_n first_o that_o he_o do_v as_o much_o desire_n to_o be_v holy_a as_o happy_a 2._o that_o he_o do_v as_o earnest_o fetch_v himself_o against_o all_o sin_n as_o some_o then_o be_v i_o exceed_o take_v up_o in_o my_o thought_n about_o this_o thing_n but_o be_v carry_v out_o to_o seek_v the_o lord_n earnest_o he_o be_v please_v to_o give_v in_o this_o answer_n thou_o tumble_v so_o much_o at_o the_o stone_n of_o assurance_n that_o thou_o forgete_v to_o build_v than_o do_v god_n let_v i_o see_v that_o the_o foundation_n and_o top-stone_n be_v jesus_n christ_n and_o that_o i_o must_v cease_v from_o my_o own_o work_n and_o take_v christ_n upon_o his_o own_o term_n and_o then_o enter_v i_o into_o some_o rest_n oh_o what_o a_o knotty_a piece_n be_v i_o to_o work_v upon_o for_o until_o he_o put_v forth_o his_o mighty_a power_n i_o can_v not_o believe_v and_o i_o find_v nothing_o strong_a than_o free_a grace_n to_o strike_v at_o the_o root_n of_o my_o sin_n also_o on_o another_o snowy_a day_n i_o go_v many_o mile_n to_o hear_v i_o be_v refresh_v much_o from_o these_o word_n 2_o cor._n 12_o 9_o my_o grace_n be_v sufficient_a for_o thou_o and_o on_o another_o day_n from_o these_o word_n luke_n 10_o 20._o but_o rather_o rejoice_v because_o your_o name_n be_v write_v in_o heaven_n and_o another_o time_n abundance_n of_o comfort_n from_o that_o scripture_n 1_o cor._n 2_o 9_o eye_n have_v not_o see_v nor_o ear_n hear_v neither_o have_v it_o enter_v into_o the_o heart_n of_o man_n to_o conceive_v the_o thing_n which_o god_n have_v prepare_v for_o they_o that_o love_v he_o it_o be_v a_o very_a sore_a day_n when_o i_o go_v to_o this_o opportunity_n and_o a_o very_a bitter_a journey_n i_o have_v but_o god_n make_v it_o exceed_o sweet_a unto_o i_o also_o i_o have_v a_o very_a great_a fit_n of_o a_o fever_n by_o reason_n of_o the_o trouble_n of_o conscience_n i_o be_v under_o and_o in_o the_o time_n of_o that_o great_a fever_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o set_v that_o scripture_n upon_o my_o heart_n rev._n 22_o 17._o the_o spirit_n and_o the_o bride_n say_v comm_n and_o let_v he_o that_o hear_v say_v come_v and_o let_v he_o that_o be_v a_o thirst_n come_v and_o whosoever_o will_v let_v he_o come_v and_o take_v of_o the_o water_n of_o life_n free_o which_o do_v administer_v so_o much_o comfort_n &_o refresh_v to_o i_o from_o a_o sense_n of_o the_o freeness_n of_o god_n grace_n be_v set_v upon_o my_o heart_n with_o so_o much_o power_n of_o the_o spirit_n that_o i_o be_v contrary_a to_o the_o judgement_n of_o physician_n soon_o raise_v to_o my_o health_n again_o for_o indeed_o i_o have_v at_o that_o time_n be_v exceed_o trouble_v in_o my_o spirit_n about_o my_o sin_n which_o i_o have_v be_v look_v back_o upon_o for_o i_o have_v make_v a_o catalogue_n of_o they_o and_o spread_v they_o before_o the_o lord_n for_o pardon_n but_o think_v they_o to_o be_v so_o many_o that_o god_n will_v not_o pardon_v they_o i_o do_v much_o desire_n i_o may_v die_v and_o go_v out_o of_o the_o body_n and_o not_o live_v any_o long_o in_o it_o to_o increase_v my_o iniquity_n and_o although_o at_o this_o time_n a_o good_a minister_n do_v endeavour_v to_o comfort_v i_o yet_o i_o put_v comfort_n from_o i_o and_o say_v it_o do_v not_o belong_v to_o i_o till_o the_o god_n of_o all_o grace_n be_v please_v to_o give_v it_o in_o by_o the_o power_n of_o his_o spirit_n as_o besore_n mention_v and_o then_o after_o our_o good_a god_n have_v
book_n if_o any_o man_n shall_v add_v unto_o these_o thing_n god_n shall_v add_v unto_o he_o the_o plague_n that_o be_v write_v in_o this_o book_n and_o if_o any_o man_n shall_v take_v away_o from_o the_o word_n of_o the_o book_n of_o this_o prophecy_n god_n shall_v take_v away_o his_o part_n out_o of_o the_o book_n of_o life_n and_o out_o of_o the_o holy_a city_n and_o from_o the_o thing_n which_o be_v write_v in_o this_o book_n well_o still_o i_o be_v put_v upon_o it_o to_o continue_v seek_v the_o kingdom_n of_o god_n and_o the_o righteousness_n thereof_o and_o the_o promise_n that_o all_o other_o tâ—ingt_fw-fr shall_v be_v add_v unto_o i_o then_o do_v i_o with_o some_o other_o seek_v the_o lord_n by_o fast_v and_o prayer_n for_o council_n what_o we_o shall_v do_v and_o whete_a we_o shall_v go_v to_o enjoy_v communion_n with_o the_o lord_n in_o the_o way_n of_o his_o pure_a worship_n and_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v in_o love_n to_o answer_v my_o desire_v in_o a_o wonderful_a manner_n for_o be_v then_o entangle_v with_o a_o house_n of_o which_o my_o husband_n have_v a_o lease_n for_o some_o year_n and_o upon_o that_o account_n be_v unwilling_a to_o remove_v not_o know_v how_o to_o dispose_v of_o that_o house_n but_o yet_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v in_o a_o short_a time_n to_o make_v he_o willing_a that_o i_o shall_v remove_v if_o i_o can_v get_v of_o that_o lease_n and_o some_o good_n i_o have_v which_o the_o lord_n soon_o help_v i_o in_o by_o send_v one_o unexpected_o the_o very_a next_o day_n after_o my_o husband_n declare_v his_o willigness_n for_o my_o removal_n upon_o those_o condition_n who_o take_v of_o the_o lease_n of_o the_o house_n of_o our_o hand_n with_o those_o good_n and_o so_o i_o be_v make_v free_a so_o forth_o with_o i_o remove_v to_o a_o place_n where_o i_o do_v enjoy_v the_o heat_n of_o a_o good_a man_n preach_v and_o have_v the_o sweet_a benefit_n of_o some_o private_a meeting_n which_o be_v much_o refresh_n unto_o i_o but_o yet_o two_o thing_n i_o be_v very_o earnest_a with_o god_n for_o 1._o one_o that_o i_o may_v be_v fill_v with_o the_o clear_a witness_n and_o full_a assurance_n of_o the_o eternal_a spirit_n 2._o and_o the_o other_o that_o i_o may_v enjoy_v more_o full_a and_o close_a communion_n with_o god_n in_o all_o his_o bless_a ordinance_n in_o both_o which_o god_n be_v please_v to_o answer_n i_o in_o some_o measure_n as_o to_o the_o first_o he_o do_v let_v i_o see_v that_o i_o have_v sin_v against_o he_o in_o that_o i_o again_o question_v that_o assurance_n which_o before_o he_o have_v give_v i_o in_o and_o then_o he_o bring_v with_o most_o wonderful_a renew_v power_n those_o scripture_n which_o many_o year_n before_o at_o several_a time_n under_o several_a ordinance_n be_v set_v with_o much_o power_n and_o evidence_n upon_o my_o heart_n but_o first_o god_n be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o that_o it_o be_v only_a unbeief_n that_o have_v cause_v i_o at_o the_o appearance_n of_o temptation_n and_o corruption_n to_o question_v his_o love_n and_o doubt_n about_o his_o kindness_n and_o so_o to_o conclude_v against_o myself_o but_o the_o lord_n do_v show_v i_o that_o all_o this_o doubt_v be_v from_o my_o evil_a heart_n of_o unbelief_n the_o sense_n of_o which_o one_o morning_n especial_o god_n do_v set_v upon_o my_o spirit_n to_o the_o break_n of_o my_o heart_n so_o that_o for_o three_o day_n together_o i_o be_v great_o afflict_v in_o my_o spirit_n and_o continue_v cry_v unto_o god_n as_o one_o that_o can_v not_o be_v anij_fw-la longer_z content_v without_o the_o light_n of_o his_o countenance_n with_o a_o renew_v seal_n of_o his_o love_n long_o seek_v with_o sigh_n prayer_n and_o tear_n and_o in_o the_o three_o day_n morning_n he_o do_v send_v the_o comforther_n the_o spirit_n which_o with_o inward_a light_n life_n and_o power_n set_v upon_o my_o heart_n these_o follow_a scripture_n 1_o john_n 3_o 2._o now_o be_v we_o the_o son_n of_o god_n and_o it_o do_v not_o yet_o appear_v what_o we_o shall_v be_v but_o rather_o rejoice_v because_o your_o name_n be_v write_v in_o heaven_n luke_n 10_o vers_fw-la 20._o and_o who_o soever_o will_v let_v he_o come_v and_o take_v of_o the_o water_n of_o life_n free_o revel_v 22._o 17._o and_o my_o grace_n be_v sufficient_a for_o thou_o 2_o cor._n 12_o 9_o oh_o i_o can_v utter_v the_o joy_n that_o then_o be_v in_o my_o heart_n by_o the_o mighty_a operation_n of_o the_o spirit_n and_o then_o after_o that_o this_o word_n come_v upon_o my_o spirit_n and_o grieve_v not_o the_o holy_a spirit_n whereby_o thou_o be_v seal_v unto_o the_o day_n of_o redemption_n and_o than_o god_n do_v answer_v i_o that_o there_o be_v sufficiency_n in_o his_o grace_n in_o christ_n to_o pardon_v all_o my_o sin_n past_a present_a and_o to_o come_v then_o as_o to_o my_o other_o desire_n which_o be_v aftet_n more_o communion_n with_o god_n in_o his_o ordinance_n after_o wait_v the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o set_v it_o upon_o my_o heart_n to_o believe_v that_o my_o habitation_n shall_v be_v remove_v and_o that_o i_o shall_v enjoy_v my_o desire_n by_o the_o time_n call_v easter_n and_o so_o it_o be_v according_o and_o i_o through_o mercy_n after_o i_o have_v get_v the_o renewig_n of_o the_o seal_n and_o clear_a witness_n of_o the_o spirit_n live_v for_o about_o a_o quarter_n of_o a_o year_n as_o it_o be_v in_o heaven_n upon_o earth_n but_o then_o begin_v a_o cloud_n again_o to_o araise_v and_o i_o be_v under_o the_o buffet_n of_o some_o sore_a temptation_n god_n with_o draw_v in_o a_o great_a measure_n though_o not_o the_o witness_n of_o the_o spirit_n yet_o the_o come_v fort_n of_o his_o spirit_n which_o before_o i_o do_v enjoy_v and_o i_o conceive_v this_o may_v be_v the_o cause_n of_o it_o which_o i_o wish_v all_o other_o may_v take_v heed_n of_o for_o it_o cost_v i_o dear_a under_o that_o sweâ—t_a soul_n refresh_v communion_n i_o have_v with_o our_o heavenly_a father_n i_o give_v way_n to_o some_o doubt_n and_o questionning_n whither_o there_o be_v not_o a_o delusion_n in_o the_o thing_n i_o then_o enjoy_v this_o temptation_n last_v some_o six_o day_n and_o i_o have_v no_o peace_n day_n nor_o night_n when_o i_o be_v awake_a to_o think_v that_o i_o shall_v grieve_v so_o good_a a_o god_n and_o cause_v he_o to_o depart_v from_o i_o and_o satan_n not_o change_v his_o weapon_n make_v i_o think_v that_o there_o be_v something_o in_o i_o that_o i_o do_v not_o so_o full_o resist_v he_o for_o when_o our_o dear_a lord_n jesus_n be_v tempt_v he_o by_o his_o powerful_a resistance_n make_v he_o to_o change_v they_o so_o i_o lay_v mourning_n before_o the_o lord_n but_o can_v not_o set_v to_o pray_v for_o the_o violence_n of_o this_o temptation_n then_o mysleep_o depute_v and_o i_o grow_v sick_a &_o then_o god_n give_v i_o to_o mind_n that_o abraham_n wâ—râ—_n lie_v before_o i_o when_o he_o go_v to_o offer_v sacrifice_n he_o be_v to_o drive_v away_o the_o fowl_n gen._n 15._o this_o work_n the_o lord_n direct_v i_o to_o do_v by_o lay_v hold_n upon_o jesus_n christ_n who_o have_v pray_v for_o i_o though_o i_o can_v not_o now_o pray_v for_o myself_o jo._n 15_o v._n 17_o 19_o and_o so_o soon_o as_o my_o heart_n be_v bring_v to_o believe_v this_o i_o be_v present_o deliver_v and_o in_o all_o this_o temptation_n the_o lord_n hide_v not_o his_o face_n from_o i_o bless_a be_v his_o name_n and_o then_o as_o the_o lord_n carry_v i_o over_o the_o sea_n where_o i_o do_v enjoy_v further_o and_o full_a communion_n with_o himself_o in_o his_o ordinance_n he_o give_v i_o another_o occasion_n for_o the_o exercise_n of_o say_v and_o patience_n for_o whilst_o i_o be_v upon_o that_o voyage_n the_o vessel_n that_o i_o be_v in_o be_v pursue_v with_o enemy_n and_o trouble_v with_o contrary_a wind_n so_o that_o we_o be_v in_o great_a strait_n but_o god_n give_v i_o to_o believe_v that_o he_o that_o deliver_v paul_n out_o of_o his_o strait_n will_v also_o deliver_v we_o out_o of_o we_o and_o so_o it_o be_v bless_a be_v his_o name_n and_o so_o very_o safe_o be_v i_o carry_v unto_o that_o place_n that_o the_o lord_n call_v i_o unto_o but_o present_o after_o i_o be_v there_o arrive_v the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o exercise_v i_o with_o several_a affliction_n first_o by_o take_v away_o a_o child_n by_o death_n and_o then_o by_o lay_v upon_o myself_o such_o a_o distemper_n that_o my_o joint_n and_o sinew_n be_v by_o fit_n bind_v up_o that_o i_o can_v not_o stir_v they_o nor_o take_v any_o rest_n while_o it_o last_v my_o pain_n be_v so_o great_a no_o doctor_n can_v do_v i_o any_o good_a though_o several_a physician_n
we_o only_o believe_v we_o must_v flee_v unto_o the_o horn_n of_o the_o althar_n and_o i_o have_v find_v when_o i_o have_v neglect_v prayer_n my_o heart_n have_v be_v very_o dead_a and_o full_a of_o unbelief_n and_o again_o i_o have_v find_v it_o no_o comfort_n to_o rest_v upon_o duty_n for_o that_o be_v a_o dangerous_a evil_a to_o set_v up_o such_o a_o idol_n in_o the_o heart_n but_o here_o in_o lay_v my_o comfort_n when_o i_o by_o faith_n can_v have_v communion_n with_o god_n and_o come_v near_o to_o he_o can_v cast_v my_o burden_n upon_o he_o and_o go_v away_o quiet_a in_o my_o mind_n that_o christ_n will_v do_v all_o for_o i_o and_o when_o i_o be_v willing_a god_n shtould_v do_v what_o he_o please_v with_o i_o and_o my_o will_n be_v bring_v to_o his_o will_n then_o have_v i_o have_v the_o mercy_n i_o have_v ask_v and_o more_o also_o many_o time_n i_o have_v find_v retire_v place_n and_o watch_n the_o best_a opportunity_n and_o great_a advantage_n unto_o prayer_n also_o i_o have_v have_v many_o temptation_n against_o prayer_n but_o the_o best_a way_n to_o overcome_v they_o be_v to_o mind_v the_o command_n of_o jesus_n christ_n which_o be_v that_o we_o shall_v watch_n unto_o prayer_n and_o pray_v always_o keep_v close_o to_o the_o duty_n in_o the_o strength_n of_o christ_n and_o lose_v not_o the_o motion_n of_o the_o spirit_n neither_o grieve_v the_o spirit_n by_o sin_n but_o watch_n against_o all_o appearance_n of_o evil_a for_o i_o hahave_v find_v that_o the_o neglect_n of_o watchfulness_n against_o sin_n and_o be_v overcome_v by_o it_o do_v great_o deaden_a the_o heart_n to_o duty_n keep_v your_o eye_n upon_o the_o promise_n by_o faith_n look_v up_o unto_o christ_n in_o prayer_n and_o let_v all_o take_v heed_n of_o set_v up_o prayer_n or_o any_o other_o duty_n above_o or_o in_o the_o room_n of_o jesus_n christ_n iâ—_n god_n assist_v you_o to_o pray_v for_o a_o mercy_n though_o he_o give_v it_o not_o in_o present_o yet_o hold_v on_o if_o your_o ask_n be_v according_a to_o his_o will_n and_o your_o end_n the_o glory_n of_o god_n and_o you_o find_v enlargement_n from_o the_o spirit_n of_o life_n you_o may_v be_v sure_a he_o will_v be_v answer_v you_o in_o that_o thing_n or_o else_o in_o some_o thing_n better_o for_o you_o in_o his_o own_o season_n myself_o seek_v the_o lord_n 20_o year_n for_o one_o thing_n before_o i_o have_v a_o answer_n but_o at_o last_o be_v at_o prayer_n after_o i_o have_v do_v god_n give_v i_o in_o a_o most_o gracious_a answer_n and_o set_v down_o the_o very_a time_n of_o deliverance_n and_o do_v according_o accomplish_v it_o at_o the_o very_a time_n to_o he_o be_v the_o praise_n and_o many_o other_o thing_n i_o have_v seek_v the_o lord_n for_o and_o he_o have_v be_v please_v to_o grant_v my_o desire_n especial_o when_o he_o have_v make_v i_o earnest_a and_o importunate_a and_o have_v assist_v i_o to_o hold_v on_o and_o give_v i_o a_o spirit_n of_o faith_n to_o believe_v for_o the_o thing_n pray_v for_o another_o time_n i_o seek_v the_o lord_n for_o a_o relation_n of_o i_o who_o be_v think_v to_o be_v near_o unto_o death_n and_o this_o be_v give_v in_o call_v upon_o i_o in_o the_o day_n of_o trouble_n i_o will_v hâ—ar_v and_o deliver_v and_o thou_o shall_v glorify_v i_o and_o â—rom_o that_o time_n that_o person_n amend_v and_o life_n be_v continue_v also_o i_o know_v another_o young_a person_n that_o be_v by_o the_o word_n preach_v convince_v of_o her_o sinsul_n state_n and_o set_v upon_o the_o performance_n of_o some_o duty_n but_o not_o be_v acquaint_v with_o the_o wile_n and_o temptation_n of_o satan_n afterward_o some_o deadness_n cease_v upon_o her_o spirit_n begin_v to_o neglect_v her_o duty_n but_o one_o in_o the_o family_n perceive_v of_o it_o advise_v she_o to_o present_v herself_o before_o the_o lord_n and_o although_o she_o find_v herself_o dead_a yet_o to_o pray_v that_o she_o may_v pray_v who_o conucel_n she_o take_v and_o she_o continue_v diligent_a the_o lord_n come_v in_o by_o the_o mighty_a witness_n of_o his_o spirit_n full_o satisfy_v her_o soul_n in_o a_o very_a short_a time_n further_n oh_o let_v all_o that_o fear_v god_n be_v encourage_v to_o continue_v in_o and_o not_o neglect_v family_n duty_n for_o i_o have_v find_v by_o good_a experience_n many_o wrought_v upon_o by_o instruction_n and_o prayer_n when_o their_o lot_n have_v be_v cast_v into_o those_o family_n where_o read_v pray_v and_o catechise_v and_o such_o duty_n have_v be_v faithful_o perform_v o_o many_o young_a one_o have_v be_v bring_v home_o to_o god_n by_o his_o blessing_n upon_o this_o mean_n and_o among_o many_o more_o i_o remember_v one_o who_o be_v very_o strong_o assault_v with_o many_o temptariones_fw-la to_o keep_v she_o from_o come_v to_o and_o closs_v with_o jesus_n christ_n and_o this_o temptation_n be_v most_o upon_o she_o that_o she_o be_v too_o young_a and_o it_o will_v be_v time_n enough_o afterward_o why_o shall_v she_o expose_v herself_o to_o scorn_n and_o reproach_n by_o be_v call_v a_o puritan_n and_o so_o become_v a_o luagh_a stock_n to_o other_o but_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o overcome_v she_o and_o bring_v she_o to_o himself_o x_o another_o also_o who_o set_v herself_o against_o they_o in_o the_o family_n that_o wish_v her_o soul_n good_a and_o use_v all_o mean_n to_o gâ—t_v out_o of_o that_o family_n to_o which_o end_n also_o she_o raise_v some_o lie_n which_o very_o evil_a the_o lord_n set_v upon_o her_o heart_n and_o then_o she_o come_v to_o be_v convince_v of_o her_o sad_a sinful_a state_n and_o be_v also_o bring_v home_o to_o god_n through_o his_o rich_a grace_n in_o jesus_n christ_n and_o another_o who_o by_o this_o mean_n be_v wrought_v upon_o that_o be_v a_o young_a maid_n a_o minister_n daughter_n and_o have_v be_v well_o instruct_v and_o educate_v from_o a_o child_n whereby_o she_o be_v inform_v of_o the_o evil_n of_o scandalous_a sin_n and_o avoid_v they_o and_o be_v also_o very_o constant_a in_o the_o performance_n of_o duty_n and_o indeed_o so_o walk_v as_o none_o can_v see_v aught_o a_o mouse_n in_o her_o conversation_n yet_o notwithstanding_o the_o poor_a heart_n be_v ignorant_a of_o herself_o and_o of_o jesus_n christ_n but_o she_o be_v under_o a_o family_n catechise_n and_o instruction_n be_v by_o the_o mighty_a power_n of_o the_o eternal_a spirit_n work_v convince_v of_o original_a sin_n and_o then_o she_o see_v that_o for_o all_o her_o formality_n she_o be_v a_o sinner_n and_o have_v need_n of_o a_o saviour_n and_o so_o be_v bring_v home_o to_o close_v with_o jesus_n christ_n this_o also_o i_o have_v find_v that_o a_o constant_a close_o seck_v of_o god_n have_v be_v crown_v with_o his_o presence_n for_o i_o myself_o be_v with_o some_o other_o desire_v to_o pray_v to_o the_o lord_n for_o council_n and_o direction_n for_o they_o but_o they_o will_v not_o tell_v i_o in_o what_o it_o be_v that_o they_o seek_v direction_n yet_o notwithstanding_o i_o do_v not_o know_v the_o thing_n i_o set_v myself_o to_o seek_v god_n for_o they_o and_o he_o be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o what_o it_o be_v this_o be_v anno_fw-la 1657._o and_o i_o do_v pray_v god_n to_o let_v i_o know_v his_o mind_n in_o that_o particular_a and_o the_o lord_n put_v it_o upon_o my_o heart_n to_o go_v and_o read_v and_o the_o place_n of_o scripture_n hand_v to_o i_o be_v quite_o against_o their_o work_n at_o that_o time_n which_o they_o have_v upon_o their_o heart_n to_o do_v than_o i_o seek_v the_o lord_n again_o and_o the_o second_o answer_n be_v go_v in_o and_o â—ead_a then_o i_o look_v up_o to_o the_o lord_n as_o i_o do_v before_o and_o say_v lord_n show_v i_o where_o i_o shall_v read_v and_o that_o scripture_n also_o be_v flat_a against_o their_o work_n and_o just_o so_o i_o have_v a_o three_o answer_v also_o and_o the_o next_o day_n as_o i_o be_v at_o my_o work_n my_o heart_n and_o meditation_n be_v above_o and_o my_o secret_a desire_n still_o to_o god_n for_o the_o further_a teach_n of_o his_o good_a spirit_n and_o these_o follow_a line_n with_o much_o more_o come_v in_o as_o a_o further_a answer_n from_o the_o lord_n as_o for_o the_o work_n of_o babylon_n it_o be_v a_o mighty_a work_n and_o strong_a but_o yet_o my_o power_n shall_v it_o complete_a for_o my_o wisdom_n it_o mighty_a great_a they_o must_v sit_v still_o behold_v my_o power_n which_o work_v for_o they_o hour_n by_o hour_n and_o now_o my_o dear_a christian_a friend_n into_o who_o hand_n this_o my_o poor_a mite_n shall_v come_v i_o desire_v you_o take_v notice_n of_o that_o great_a love_n and_o wondered_a grace_n of_o god_n which_o he_o have_v be_v please_v to_o manifest_v