mee with the blessings of thy sweetnesse even from the beginnings for thou O Lord and my hope from the very time that I was a suckling yea before I was borne hast provided and prepared the waies that I should walk in and by them attain to the glory of thy heavenly Kingdome thou hast knowne mee before thou didst forme mee in my mothers belly and before I issued out of my mothers wombe thou hast preordained of mee whatsoever seemed good to thy divine pleasure I know not O Lord what things are written of me in thy Booke in the secret of thy Consistory which make me to feare exceedingly but thou knowest them all particularly because that which I expect by succession of dayes and times a thousand yeeres hence to bee fulfilled in the sight of thy Eternity is already accomplished and that which is to come is already done but I for that I know not these things living heer in a darke and obscure night cannot but feare and tremble whilest I see sundry dangers on every side assaulting me troupes of enemies pursuing me and infinite miseries of this life invironing me And were it not that the ayd of thy grace doth succour me in these my manifold tribulations I should soon fall into desperation but I have a great hope and confidence O my God in thee who art a God of unspeakable mercy and pity and the consideration of thy infinite mercies are no small comfort unto mee in my miseries The former tokens likewise of thy love and mercies shewed towards me before my nativity but appearing now especially doe put mee in hope for the time to come to receive more ample and greater favours from the hands of thy bountifull liberality which thou doest reserve for thy friends and those that love thee to the end that my hope may rejoice in thee O Lord my God with a sacred and lively cheerefulnesse with which thou doest continually comfort my old disconsolate years CHAP. XII O God of Gods O Lord in mercy surmounting the malice of men I know thou wilt not alwaies be silent then I meane when a flaming fire shall burne before thee and a terrible tempest shall showre down round about thee when thou shalt call both Heaven and earth to judge and discerne thy people and lo in the presence of so many millions of people all mine iniquities shall be revealed before so many troops of Angels all my abominations shall be displayed not only of my actions but likewise of my words and cogitations there shall I poore wretch stand to be judged by so many as have gone before me in doing good I shall by so many accusers be thought worthy of Hell as have given mee example to live well I shall be convinced by so many witnesses as have admonished me by their wholsome speeches and by their godly pious conversation have carried themselves worthy of imitation O my Lord I know not what to say I know not what to answer and albeit I am as yet free from that terrible danger neverthelesse my conscience doth afflict me the hidden secrets of my heart do torment mee coveteousnesse doth presse me pride doth accuse me envy doeth consume mee concupiscense doeth enflame me lust doeth molest me gluttony doth disgrace me drunkennesse doth convince me detraction doth rent me anger doth disturbe me behold O my deliverer who hast delivered me out of the hands of cruell people behold with whom I have lived from the day of my birth with whom I have studied and with whom I have kept promise those very studies which heertofore I affected doe condemne mee which in times past I praysed do now dispraise me These are the friends to whom I have assented the teachers whom I have obeyed the masters whom I have served the counsellours whom I have beleeved and the familiar acquaintance to whom I have consented Woe is me O my God for that my abode heere is prolonged woe is me O my light for that I have lived with those that live in darkness and seeing holy David sayd so much how much more may I bee able to say my soule hath dwelt too long in a strange land O my God my force my fortress no man can be justified in thy sight my hope is not in the sons of men Whom wouldest thou finde justified if thou shouldest judge severely setting mercy aside neither is there any thing whereof a just man may vaunt or which can bring him to glory unlesse thou prevent him before hand with thy mercy and pitty I therefore O my Saviour believe what I have heard that it is thy goodnesse that doth draw mee to repentance thy holy lips have told it me No man can come to me unless my Father who hath sent me draw him Seeing therefore it hath pleased thee to instruct me and by instruction hast vouchsafed mercifully to informe me I beseech thee with all the forces of my heart and mind O Almighty Father together with thy most beloved Son I beseech thee likewise O most blessed Saviour with the holy and blessed Spirit vouchsafe to draw me unto thee that I may run after thee and forsaking all things transitory I may only adhere unto thee and devote my soule and body only to thy service Who is like unto thee O Lord my God thou art great in sanctity terrible and worthy to be praised doing things that deserve to be admired too too late have I knowne thee O true light too late have I known thee and the cause was for that there was a great and dark cloud before my eies that delighted in vanity which hindered me from beholding the Sun of justice and the Light of all verity I was wrapt in darknesse being the child of darkness I loved darkness because I knew not the light I was blind and loved blindness and walked through one darknes into another who hath delivered me from thence where I remained as a blind man sitting in darknesse and in the shaddow of death who hath taken me by the hand and led met forth of the same who is he that hath thus enlightened me I sought him not and he called me but who is he thou art he O Lord my God being most mercifull and pittifull yea the father of mercies and God of all comfort Thou O Lord my God most holy art he that hath done the same whom I confesse with my whole heart rendring thanks to thy holy Name I did not seeke thee thou hast sought me I did not call upon thee thou hast called me Thou hast thundred from Heaven with a great voyce into the internall care of my heart saying let light be made and light was made whereupon that great and dark cloud which had covered my eies departed and was dissolved whereby I have seene thy light and known thy voyce I said truly O Lord thou art my God who hast delivered mee out of darkness and from the shaddow of death calling mee into the admirable
reconciled me unto thee when thou didst abhor me for my sins thou didst send him from heaven to me to shew that thou art ready to heare him for us therefore in him I come unto thee in him I will call upon thee O my Redeemer Preserver and my Saviour to thee be praise with the Father and the Holy Spirit for ever Amen Who shall stay mee from my Father and my Brother and my Comforter I Owe God a death as his Son died for me ever since I was borne I have been sayling towards this Haven and gathering patience to comfort this houre therefore shall I be one of those guests now that would not come to the banquet when they were invited what hurt is in going to Paradice I shall lose nothing but the sense of evil and anon I shall have greater joyes then I feele pains for my head is in Heaven already to assure me that my soule and body shall follow after O Death where is thy sting why should I fear that which I would not escape because my chiefest happiness is behind and I cannot have it unlesse I go unto it I would goe through Hell to Heaven and therefore if I march but through death I suffer lesse then I would for God my pains do not dismay me because I travell to bring forth eternall life my sins do not affright me because I have Christ my Redeemer the Judge doth not astonish me because the Judges Son is my Advocate the Devill doth not amaze me because the Angels pitch about mee the grave doth not grieve me because it was my Lords bed O that Gods mercies to me might move others to love him for the less I can expresse it the more it is the Prophets and Apostles are my forerunners every man is gone before me or else he will follow after me if it please God to receive mee into Heaven before them that have served him better I owe more thanks to him and because I have deferred my repentance till this houre wherby my salvation is cut off if I should dye suddenly lo how my God in his mercifull providence to prevent my destruction calleth me by a lingring sickness which stayeth till I be ready and prepareth me to my end lik a Preacher and makes me by wofull pains wery of this beloved world lest I should depart unwillingly like them whose death is their damnation so he loveth me whilst he beateth mee that his stripes are Plaisters to salve me therefore who shal love him if I forsake him this is my whole desire now to strengthen my body with my heart and to be contented as God hath appoynted untill I glorifie him or he glorifie mee If I live I live to sacrifice if I die I die a sacrifice for his mercy is above my iniquity therefore if I should fear death it were a signe that I had not faith nor hope as I professed but that I doubted of Gods truth in his promise whether he will forgive his penitent sinners or no. It is my Father let him doe what seemeth good in his sight Come Lord Jesus for thy servant commeth I am willing help my unwillingnesses For the Morning NOw that the day star doth arise Beg we of God with huÌ„ble cries Hurtfull things to keep away While we duly spend the day Our tongues to guide so that no strife May breed disquiet in our life To shut and close the wandring eye Lest it let in vanity To keep the heart as pure and free From â—â—nd and troubled fantasie To tame proud flesh while we deny it A full cup and wanton diet That when the day light shall go out Time bringing on the night about We by leaving worldly wayes May in silence sing God prayse Amen Come Holy Ghost our soules inspire And lighten with celestiall fire Thou the anointing spirit art Who dost thy sevenfold gifts impart Thy blessed unction from above Is comfort life and fire of love 〈…〉 with perpetuall light The … nesse of my blinded sight Anoâ—â—t and cheere my soyled face With the abundance of thy grace Keep 〈◊〉 my â—oes give peace at hom Where thou art guide no ill can com Teach mee to know the father son And thee of both to be but one That through the Ages all along This may be my endles song Prayse to thy Eternall Merit Father Son and Holy Spirit A Prayer for the Morning O Lord be mercifull unto mee a miserable sinner O Lord I beseech thee let thine eares bee attentive unto the prayer of thy servant that desires to feare thy name and prosper I pray thee thy servant this day And good Lord I beseech thee send thy holy Spirit into my soule so to teach mee to pray unto thee that both my selfe and my prayers may be acceptable in thy sight O Lord my strength and my Redeemer And good Lord I beseech thee to remove all my sinnes out of thy sight that they may neither hinder my prayers from ascending up unto thee nor thy mercies from descending downe upon me And good Lord I humbly beseech thee to banish out of my heart and soule all evil thoughts and desires all fond love and affection all carnall lust and concupiscence and whatsoever else may any way hinder mee from the true love and worship of thy divine and sacred Majesty O Eternall God maker and high possessour both of Heaven and Earth looke downe I humbly beseech thee with pity and compassion upon a poor miserable distressed sinner who am not worthy to lift up my eyes towards the throne of thy divine and sacred Majesty much lesse worthy of any of thy mercies and gracious blessings which continually from time to time thou hast beene pleased to bestow upon mee for O Lord so many and so mighty are my sinnes wherewith I have offended thy divine and sacred Majesty both in thought word deed and desire that if thou shouldst enter into judgement with mee and deale with mee according to thy justice and my desert I must expect nothing but eternall death and damnation But I most humbly beseech thee for Jesus Christ his sake that it wil please thee to have mercy upon me and to pardon me all my sinnes and offences and to remove all those judgements away from mee which my sinnes have deserved and give mee grace ever heerafter to amend my ungodly life and to love and serve and honour thee truly faithfully and unfeignedly without pride presumption vaine glory and hypocrisie from these and all other deadly sinnes good Lord deliver me And good Father I give thee most humble thanks for all thy mercies and gracious blessings which continually from time to time thou hast been pleased to bestow upon me more especially for that it hath pleased thee this night past to preserve me from all evills notwithstanding all my sinnes and ill deserts Lord thou mightest have made my bed my grave and throwne my soule into the deep pit of hell hadst thou dealt with mee according
to thy justice and my desert but good Father as thou hast given me time so I beseech thee for Jesus Christ his sake to give me grace to repent and amend my ungodly life and to spend those remnant of dayes which thou hast appointed me to live only in thy service And to that end O Lord I humbly beseech thee withdrawe my heart and soule from the love of the world and worldly vanities and wholly devote it unto the love and service of thy divine Majesty And good Father I humbly beseech thee for Jesus Christ his sake that it wil please thee to continue thy loving favour unto me in preserving me this day from all sin and wickednesse from all evill thoughts words deeds and desires and from all evill and misfortune both of soule and body good Lord sanctifie my soul and body this day and evermore to thy service Lord blesse and prosper all my proceedings all my thoughts words deeds and desires and grant that they may all bee directed to the honour and glory of thy Name the good of others and the peace and comfort of my owne soule and conscience when I shall come before thee to make my last accounts Lord keep me in thy faith fear and love and give me grace to live in thy feare and die in thy favor and good Lord I humbly beseech thee to grant mee the use of my sight senses and limbs whilest I live in this transitory life that I may bee the better inabled to serve thee Lord bee mercifull to thy whole Church and chosen people every where and in thy good time establish thy true Religion and Worship amongst us which is agreeable to thy holy wil and word And now good Lord Into thy hands I humbly commend my soule and body my life and all that ever I have to be guided directed and protected by thee good Lord suffer me not this day to doe any thing to displease thee but let thy holy spirit guide and direct mee thy holy Angels pitch their tents round about mee to keepe and protect mee from all the assaults of my enemies both bodily and ghostly this day and ever Good Lord shew me the way wherein I shall walke and the thing that I shall doe and give mee grace to walke humbly faithfully and sincerely before thee this day and all the dayes of my life grant this O most mercifull Father and whatsoever else thou in thy divine wisedome knowest most needfull for me and that for the merits of thy deare sonne my Saviour Jesus Christ to whom with the Father and the holy and blessed Spirit be ascribed all honour prayse power and glory world without end Amen O Lord pardon the imperfection of my Prayers Dum expiro spero For the Evening BLessed Savior Lord of all Vouchsafe to heare when we call And now to those propitious be That in prayer bow to thee Still to be kept from misery Great ruler of the day and night On our darknes cast thy light And let thy passion pardon win For what we have offended in Thought or word or deed of sin And as thy mercy wipes away What we have done amisse to day So now the night returns again Our bodies and our souls restrain From being soild with sinfull stain Let not dull sleepe oppress our eyes Nor us the enemy surprise Nor fearfull dreames our minds affright While the blacknes of the night Holds from us the cheerfull light To thee who doest by rest renew Our wasted strength we humbly sue That when we shall unclose our eies Pure and chaste we may arise And make our morning sacrifice Honour Lord to thee be done O thou blessed Virgins Son With the Father and the Spirit As is thine eternall merit Ever and ever to inherit Amen An Evening Prayer for a private Family O Eternall and most glorious Lord God Creator and Maker of Heaven and Earth we the most miserable most sinfull and most unworthy of all thy creatures do here presume to present our selves before the Throne of thy most glorious Majesty from the bottome of our hearts humbly acknowledging our vile wickedness and upon our knees beg pardon of thy gracious and most glorious Majesty for all our sins past committed in thought word or deed against thy divine Majesty And as in duty we are bound we give thee glory and praise for all thy mercies and good blessings from time to time bestowed upon us and more especially and in particular we laud and magnifie thy great and most glorious Name for that thou hast preserved us safe this day past from all evils and from all dangers both of body and soule and hast bestowed thy blessings upon us both spirituall and temporall for which as for all the rest of thy good gifts and benefits which either this day past or at any other time thou hast been graciously pleas'd to bestow upon us we magnifie thy great and glorious Name beseeching thee that with thy blessings thou wilt give us thy Grace that we may live to glorifie thy great and most mighty Name for them all And good Lord wee beseech thee passe by our great manifold and most numberlesse sins and transgressions Lord grant us true repentance for them all and grant us grace ever hereafter to serve and please thee in newnesse of life all the the dayes we have to live in this our Pilgrimage Lord teach us so to number our dayes that we may apply our hearts unto wisedome and grant us grace good Father that we may so spend our remainder of dayes that we have to live in this world that they may be to the glory of thy great Name and to the salvation of our own souls for Jesus Christs sake And as thou hast been a mighty and most glorious Lord God in preserving and keeping of us all the dayes and times of our life hitherto and especially this day past so good Lord vouchsafe to take us all this night into thy most glorious protection Lord defend and keep us from all evils and from all dangers that may happen unto us either bodily or ghostly Lord let thy holy Angels guard us to deliver us from all evils Lord blesse us all with the quiet rest and sleep of our bodies Save us good Lord waking and keepe us sleeping that wee may wake in Christ and rest in peace Blesse us that both sleeping and waking we may be thine O Lord leave us not to our selves nor forsake us utterly but in thy blessed time make us to be sheep of that flocke whereof our blessed Lord and Saviour Christ Jesus is the great Shepheard Hear us good Lord in these our weak most imperfect prayers grant us them and what else thou in thy mighty wisdome knowest to be most necessary for us and that for the glory of thy great Names sake for thy mercy sake and for our blessed Lord and Saviour Christ Jesus sake in whose most blessed name and words we further call upon thee as he in his holy and Heavenly and most blessed Gospel hath taught us saying Our Father c. Let thy mighty hand and outstretched arme O Lord be still our defence thy mercy and loving kindnes in Jesus Christ thy deare sonne our salvation thy true and holy word our instruction thy grace and holy spirit our comfort and consolation unto the end and in the end Amen When we enter into our bed IN the Name of our Lord Jesus
salvation I know O Lord God and am assured that our life is not governed by the unadvised Influence and concurrence of secondary causes but is wholly disposed and ordered by thy Almighty providence wherfore I humbly pray and beseech thee that thou wilt not deale with me according to mine iniquities by which I have deserved thy anger but according to thy manifold mercies which surmount the sinnes of the whole world take pity on me thou O Lord who doest punish mee outwardly give mee alwayes an invincible patience inwardly to the end I may never cease to prayse thee take pity of me O Lord take pity of me and helpe me like as thou knowest to bee expedient for mee both in soule and in body thou who knowest all things and art able to do all things whatsoever it pleaseth thee CHAP. X. O God most powerfull and potent over the spirits or soules of all flesh whose eyes behold all the wayes of the children of Adam from the day of their birth unto the day of their death to the end thou mayst render to every man according to his actions be they good or evill Teach mee I beseech thee how to confesse unto thee my poverty because I have heeretofore vanted that I was rich and need nothing not knowing that I was poore blind naked wretched and in misery for that I thought my selfe to bee something when I was nothing I sayd with my selfe I shall become a wise man and I became a foole I thought my selfe to bee prudent and discreet and I was deceived for that I now perceive that it is a gift gratis by thee given without whom wee can do nothing thus O Lord by leaving me and proving me thou hast taught me to know my self not to respect of tiâ—e that thou mightst know me but in respect of mee that I might know my selfe because I thought my selfe to bee something of my selfe and sufficient of my selfe neither did I perceive that it was thou that diddest governe me untill thou didst for a while forsake me whereupon I forthwith fell by which I did see and know that it was thou that didst governe me and that my fall hapned through my own fault and my … ing to grace by means only of thy grace Thou hast opened mine eyes O divine light thou hast awakened and inlightned me so that now I see that mans life is a temptation upon earth neither hath frayle flesh or any mortall man living just occasion to glory of himselfe before thee or to presume of his justification since all the good we have be it little or great proceedeth wholly and freely from thee neyther can wee attribute any thing justly to our selves saving only our iniquity Whereof then shall any mortall man glory shall he glory of his iniquity this is not glory but meere misery shall hee therefore glory of his goodnesse shall he glory of that which is anothers Because all goodness and glory is thine O Lord and belongeth unto thee he therfore that usurpeth that glory to himselfe that is due to thee is a theefe and a robber and like unto the Divell who desired to bereave thee of thy glory for hee that desireth to bee praysed in respect of the gift which thou hast given him and doeth not seeke thy glory therein but his owne albeit in respect of thy gift hee bee praysed of men yet by thee bee is thought worthy of blame for that with that gift which thou hast given him hee hath not sought thy glory but his owne but hee that is praysed of men being by thee thought worthy of blame will not bee defended by men when thou shalt condemne him Thou therefore O Lord who didst forme me in my mothers womb permit me not to fall into that reproachfull infamy as to be upbrayded as one that would bereave thee of thy glory who art the authour of all goodnesse and to thee is due all glory but to us shame and misery who according to our deserts are worthy of all wretchedness were it not that thou dost take pity upon us Thou O Lord art pitifull indeed full of compassion towards all men and hating nothing of those things which thou hast made bestowing on us many benefits inriching us with thy greatest gifts because thou doest favour those that are friendless making them abound with the riches of thy goodnes I know O Lord and confesse that they onely that acknowledge themselves to be poor and needy and confesse unto thee their poverty shal be inriched by thee insomuch that they that imagine themselves rich being indeed poore and needy are not to expect any spirituall gift or grace from thee wherefore O Lord my God I doe acknowledge and confess unto thee my poverty rendring unto thee all glory because all the good that is done by me proceedeth wholy from thee I confesse O Lord that I am nothing else but meere vanity the shadow of death a darke bottomles dungeon a voyd and unprofitable plot of ground bringing forth nothing without thy blessing the naturall fruite thereof being confusion sinne and eternall death and damnation all the good that ever I had before I had it from thee is wholly thine and proceeds from the hands of thy liberality When I have stood upright it hath beene by thy assistance when I have fallen it hath beene through my own negligence when I was fallen likewise I should for ever have remayned in misery if thou hadst not raysed me and being blinde I should for ever have been blind if thou hadst not inlightned me when I was fallen I should never have risen if thou hadst not with thy hand raised me yea after thou hadst raysed mee I should have fallen immediately if thou hadst not upheld mee I should likewise have perished many times and beene utterly undone if thou hadst not governed me Thus O Lord and in this manner hath thy grace and mercy prevented me from time to time and continually delivering mee from all mishaps that might have befallen me preserving me from perills that are past delivering me out of those that are present and strengthening mee against those that are to come cutting in sunder before me the snares of sinne removing likewise all causes and occasions of the same for if thou haddest not afforded me this favour I should have committed all sorts of sins what soever because I know O Lord that there is no sinne committed by one man which another could not likewise doe the same if mans Creatour by whom he was made doe not assist him Thou therefore hast caused and commanded me to abstaine from iniquity giving mee grace that I might beleeve in thee for thou O Lord didst direct me to do that which was to thy glory and my owne salvation giving mee grace and understanding that I might avoyde many grievous sins that I was inclinable to CHAP. XI REmember O Lord I beseech thee thy mercies shewed towards me of old time through which thou hast prevented
light so that now I see thankes be to thee O Lord who hast inlightened me and I looked backe and beheld the darknesse wherein I had lived and the deepe darke dungeon wherein I had remained which made me with feare and trembling to cry out saying wo is mee in respect of the darknesse in which I have remained wo is mee in respect of my former blindness in which I could not see the light of Heaven wo is mee in respect of my former ignorance when I did not know thee O Lord thanks therefore be to thee O my Inlightner and Deliverer for that thou hast inlightned me and I have knowne thee Too too late have I knowne thee O ancient Verity too late have I known thee O eternall Truth thou remainest in light and I in darknesse and I knew thee not because I could not be inlightned without thee for that there is no light besides thee O God! the Holy of Holies the God of Gods and Lord of Lords of inestimable Majesty whose wonderfull greatnesse cannot bee uttered or imagined before whom the Angelicall powers doe shake for feare O most mighty most holy and most powerfull God the God of the spirits or souls of all mortall creatures from whose sight the Heavens and the earth doe flie away for fear to whom all the Elemens doe obey at a becke let all thy creatures adore and glorifie thee amongst whom I unworthy wretch the sonne of thy handmaid do bow downe the neck of my heart under the feet of thy supreame Majesty being taught so to doe by the faith which thou hast given me rendring thanks unto thee for that thou hast vouchsafed by thy mercy to inlighten me O Light most true sacred and delightfull most worthy of praise and most admirable which inlighteneth every man comming into this world yea the eies of the Angels themselvs Behold now I see for which I humbly thanke thee Behold now I see the light of Heaven a heavenly bright beam proceeding from the face of thy brightness doth shine upon the eies of my mind which maketh all my bones to rejoyce Oh that this light were perfect it me increase it in mee O authour o◠light I beseech thee increase I beseech thee that light that shineth in mee let it bee augmented I beseech thee by thee O fire which doest alwayes burn and art never extinguished enflame me O light which doest alwayes shine and art never darkned enlighten me Oh that I were made hot by thee O sacred fire how sweetly dost thou heate how secretly doest thou shine how desiredly dost thou burn Woe be to those that are not made hot by thee woe bee to those that are not enlightned by thee O true light enlightning all the world whose brightnesse doeth replenish all the world Woe bee to those blind eyes which doe not see thee who art the Sunne that giveth light both to Heaven and Earth Woe be to those dim eyes which cannot see thee Woe be to those eies that are turned away frō seeing verity Woe be to those eyes that are not turned away from seeing vanity Verily those eyes that are accustomed to darkness cannot behold the bright beames of thy supreame righteousness neither do they know what to thinke of the light whose dwelling is in darknesse They see love and approve the darknesse so that walking from one darknesse into another they stumble and tumble they know not whither Doubtlesse they are wretched that know not what they lose but they are more wretched that know what they lose who fall with their eyes open and descend alive into perdition O light most blessed who canst not be seen of those eyes that are never so little defiled Blessed are the clean in heart for they shall see God Cleanse me O cleansing vertue cure mine eyes to the end that with sound and cleare eyes I may bee able to behold thee Remoove from my eyes the scales of my former blindnesse by the means of thy brightness that I may be able stedfastly to behold thee and in thy light I may see light Behold O my light now I see for which I most humbly thank thee Let this my light O Lord I beseech thee be increased by thee Open mine eyes that I may see the wonderfull things of thy Law I give thee thankes O my light for that I now see albeit obscurely as it were in a Mirrour or looking glasse but when shall I see thee apparently face to face Oh when will that day of joy and mirth arive in which I shall enter into the place of thy Tabernacle so mach to bee admired even into the house of my God to the end I may see him face to face that seeth me that so my desire may be accomplished CHAP. XIII I Have exceedingly sinned and I know my offences to bee many which I have committed yet I do not despayre because where sinnes have abounded there grace hath superabounded He that dispayreth of obtayning pardon for his sinnes denieth God to be mercifull hee doth God a great injury that mistrusteth his mercy as much as in him lieth he denieth God to have charity truth and power in which three doth depend my whole confidence that is in the charity of his adoption in the trueth of his promise and in the power of his redemption I cannot bee terrified with the multitude of my sinnes if the death of my Saviour come into my minde because my sinnes cannot overcome the multitude of his mercy The wounds of my Saviour doe tell me that I am truly reconciled to him if I love him wherefore blessed Saviour give me grace to love thee truly and sincerely because love chaseth forth feare verily the whole world doth not afford such a powerfull and present remedy against sinne as is the death of my Redeemer He stretcheth forth his armes on the Crosse and spreads out his hands as one ready to imbrace sinners I purpose to live and desire to die betweene the armes of Christ that hath saved me there will I sing securely I will extoll thee O Lord for thou hast received me and hast not permitted mine enemies to triumph over me Who more can crave Then God for me hath done To free a slave That gave his only Son Blest be that houre When he repair'd my losse I never will Forget my Saviours Crosse Whose death revives My soule once was I dead But now I 'le rayse Againe my drooping head And singing say And saying sing for ever Blest be my Lord That did my soule deliver CHAP. XIV I Render unto the most humble thanks O most gratious and mercifull God for that comming loader with so many and so grievous sins to make my humble confession unto thy divine and sacred Majesty thou art pleased to give mee the grace that I am not ashamed to open my sins and iniquities unto thee whereby I may obtaine thy pardon which being granted unto me by thy mercy and the merits of my Saviour Christ
Jesus I most humbly beseech thee to indue me with thy holy spirit that I may forget all my wicked inclinations and that I may offend thee no more but remain constant to my good intentions proposed at this time I confesse unto thee O Lord that it was thy meer mercy and goodness that thou hadst not cut me off many times before this in the height of my horrid sins and cast me immediatly into Hell for all eternity O Lord thou hast had mercy upon me being but poore dust and ashes and thou art pleased at this instant to reforme my deformities and to keep me from sudden death and despaire lest I should bee swallowed up in the deep O Lord I humbly confesse that before thou didst give me a sight of my sinnes and hearty sorrow and repentance for them I was going headlong to Hell carrying all my sins along with mee but thou O my Lord and my God didst call me back unto thee who art the way the truth and the life and didst inlighten my cloudy mind with the brightness of thy light that seeing my relf at the brink of Hell thou hast pulled mee backe by thy divine mercy and providence that I may live to see thy glory what shall I therefore render unto thee my most mercifull Saviour for the marvellous waies that thou hast used to correct and direct my waies into the way of salvation I was carried away with vanities O my God and made my waies farre from thee but thou O Lord moved with mercy didst call back my filthy life from the durt of earthly pleasures and didst restraine my untamed minde with the bit and bridle of the calamities and labour of this wretched world that I might understand my own misery and come unto thee I will therefore glory in my infirmities and afflictions that thy grace may dwell in mee O Lord to whom I owe all that I am for that thou hast forgiven me many heynous and grievous sins and for those great benefits and most holy blessings by which my poore soule shall be saved I doe give unto thee most humble thanks upon the knees of my heart and in gratitude for thy gracious favours I doe most willingly offer my poor life to be sacrificed for thee my liberty and all my worldly substance and my most humble prayers saying Bless the Lord O my soule and doe not forget all his benefits who is mercifull to all thine iniquities and healeth all thine infirmities who hath redeemed thy life from death who crowneth thee with loving kindnesses and tender mercies Behold O Lord how I am comforted with thy mercies and thou hast so inlightened me that I now desire to imbrace thee before all the pleasures which have waited upon my miserable life therefore I humbly beseech thee O most mercifull Father not to faile in helping me that I also by thy grace may not faile in confessing thy mercy unto me and I desire thee to accept of my broken and contrite heart and my sorrowfull soule for my sins past and grant unto me thy fear that I may never do any thing to displease thee but conceiving hope by thy promises of thy mercy I may henceforth bee cherished and delighted with heavenly things O Lord protect mee under the shaddow of thy wings and cherish me in the bosome of thy mercy for while I live in this valley of tears I will cry unto thee O my God and my helper in time of trouble and need that thou deliver mee from all temptations unto the end and that thou wilt nourish mee as thy childe who having received the strength of thy vertue so long as I shall run in the course of this world forgetting that which is behind and earnestly bending my selfe to thy holy blessings by thy grace and protection I may goe on to the appointed place that thou hast prepared for those that love Christ Jesus our Lord who liveth and reigneth with thee in the unity of the Holy Spirit God world without end Amen A Preparative to Prayer WHen to thy God thou speak'st O creature mean Lift up pure hands lay down all foul desires Fix thoughts on heaven present a conscience clean Such holy Balme to mercies throne aspires Confesse faults guilt crave pardon for thy sin Tread holy Paths call grace to guide therein It is the spirit with reverence must obey Our Makers will to practise what he taught Make not the flesh thy Councell when thou pray 'T is enemy to every vertuous thought It is the foe we dayly feed and cloath It is the Prison that the soule doth loath Even as Elias mounting to the sky Did cast his mantle to the earth behind So when the heart presents the prayer on high Exclude the world from traffique with the minde Lips neare to God and ranging hearts within Is but vain babling and converts to sin Like Abraham ascending up the Hill To sacrifice his servants left below That he might act the great Commanders Will Without impeach to his obedient blow Even for the soule remote from earthly things Should mount salvations shelter mercies wings Nothing more gratefull in the highest eies Nothing more firme in danger to protect us Nothing more forcible to pierce the skies And not depart till mercy do respect us And as the soule life to the body gives So prayer revives the soule by prayer it lives A Prayer BEcause I have sinned O Lord and done wickedly in thy sight and provoked thee to anger by my abominable wickednesse making my body which thou hast ordayned as a vessell of thy honour an instrument of most detestable filthinesse O Lord be mercifull unto me and pardon me this great wickednesse looke not upon me good Father with the eyes of justice neither do thou draw against me the sword of judgement for now shall I that am but dust stand in thy presence when thy wrathfull indignation commeth foorth as a whirlewind and thy heavy displeasure as a tempest seeing the earth trembleth the depths as discovered and the very heavens are shaken when thou art angry Exercise not therefore thy fury against me that am but chaffe before the winde and as stubble before a flaming fire though I have sinned grieuously in thy sight preferring my wicked desire before thy holy commandements esteeming the pleasure of a moment before eternall and everlasting joyes nay which is worse making more account of vileness and vanity and extreame folly and madnesse then of the glory and majesty of the most excellent wonderful and blessed God nothing dreading his displeasure whose wrath maketh the Divels to quake and burneth unquenchable unto the bottomles pit of hell whose might is so great that by the breath of his nostrills hee can in the twinkling of an eye destroy a thousand worlds yet am I bold prostrating my self before the throne of thy Majesty heartily to beseech and humbly to intreat thee that thou wilt not deale with mee according to my merits for I have deserved
sing O happy soule who present dost Behold so great a King And from thy lofty throne surviewst The underwheeling Globes The sun the moon al the heavens In star bespangled robes O Christ the palme of warriors Vouchsafe me of thy pity To make me when I end my war A freeman of this City Grant me among these Citizens Thy bounties to pertake Meane while assist me with thy ayd A happy fight to make That warring out my time the rest In quiet I may spend And for my guerdon thee injoy For ever without end Amen A serious discourse concerning the Day of Death LET us imagine how the time being now come in which the sinfull soule is to be separated from the bands of the body with how grievous feare it is terrified with how great anguish of an afflicted conscience it is tormented it remembers the things forbidden which it hath committed it beholdeth the Commandements of God which through negligence and contempt it hath omitted it grieveth that the time which it had to repent hath been so vainly imployed it grieveth the imutable moment of severe revenge is so near at hand not possible to bee avoyded it would fain stay it is forced to depart it would faine recover that which it hath lost and cannot be heard it looketh backward upon the course of its whole life past and esteemeth it to be but as it were one onely little pace it looketh forward and seeth infinite worlds of time which shall never have end It lamenteth therfore for having lost the joyes of all eternity which it might have gained so quickly it weepeth likewise that for the short pleasure of the alluring flesh it is bereaved of everlasting happinesse it blusheth that for the substance sake which is to be meat for wormes it hath neglected that which should have been placed amongst the quires of Angels At length it lifteth up the eyes of its mind and considering the glory of the immortall riches of Heaven it is ashamed that for the love of the beggery of this present life it hath lost that glory againe when it looketh downwards upon the vaile of this world as upon a mist and contrariwise seeing above it the brightnesse of that eternall light it plainly perceiveth that that which was loved was but darknesse and night Oh if it could obtaine the favour to have some little time for repentance how austere would it be in life and conversation how many and how great matters would it promise to perform how strictly would it binde it selfe to piety and devotion in the meane season whilst the eye-sight faileth and whilst the heart panteth and the throat doth draw breath with difficulty whilst the countenance groweth pale and all the members of the body become stiffe through cold whilst these things and other such like happen as certain signes of death approaching all its works and words present themselves before it yea it s very thoughts are not wanting and all these give bitter testimony against it as against the Authour of them All its sins and iniquities are laid as it were in heaps before its eyes and those which it is unwilling to see it is forced to behold whether it will or no. Moreover on the one side of it it beholdeth a terrible troop of dreadful Devils on the other side a multitude of heavenly Angels the soule that lyeth in the middest quickly perceiveth to which of these companies it appertaineth for if there bee seen in it the signes and tokens of goodnesse it is comforted by the comfortable speeches of the Angels and by the sweetness of their harmonious melody it is allured to come forth of the body contrariwise if the darkness of its deserts and deformity of its filthinesse do adjudge it to the left hand it is forthwith strucken with intolerable fear it is troubled through the foâ—ce of the sudden violence that is used it is throwne down headlong and assaulted and poor soule is forcibly pluckt out of the prison of the flesh that it may be drawn to eternall torments with unspeakable bitternesse Now after it is departed out of the body who is able to expresse how many troops of wicked spirits do lie in wait to intrap it how many bands of frowning fiends being ready with cruell torments to afflict it doe beset the way to hinder his passage and to the end it may not escape and passe through them whole legions of them do assault the same Wherefore to consider these and such like things by frequent meditation is a soveraigne meanes to contemne the inticing allurements of sin to abandon the world and to subdue the unlawfull motions of the flesh and finally doth cause and conserve in us a continuall desire of attaining to perfection which God of his mercy grant us Amen ALmighty God and all mercifull Father which art the Physitian of my body and soule in thy hands are life and death thou bringest to the grave and pullest backe againe I came into the world upon condition to forsake it whensoever thou wouldest call me and now the Sumners are come thy fetters hold mee and none can loose mee but hee that bound me I am sick in body and in soule but he hath strucken me which in judgement sheweth mercy I deserved to die so soon as I came to life but thou hast preserved me till now and shall this mercy be in vaine as though I were preserved for nothing who can praise thee in the grave I have done thee no service since I was borne but my goodness is to come and shall I die before I begin to live but Lord thou knowest what is best of all and if thou convert me I shall be converted in an instant and as thou acceptedst the will of David as well as the act of Solomon so thou wilt accept my desire to serve thee as well as if I had lived to glorifie thee the spirit is willing but the flesh is fraile and as I did live sinfully whensoever thy spirit was from me so I shal die unwillingly unlesse thy spirit prepare me therefore dear Father give me that minde which a sick man should have and increase my patience with my pain and call unto my remembrance all which I have heard or read or felt or meditated to strengthen mee in this hour of my triall that I which never taught any good while I lived may now teach others how to dye to bear their sickness patiently apply unto me all the mercies and merits of thy beloved Son as if he had died for me alone be not far from me when the enemy comes but when the tempter is busiest let thy spirit be busie too and if it please thee to loose me out of this prison when I shall leave my earth to earth let thy Angels carry up my soule to Heaven as they did Lazarus and place me in one of those Mansions which thy Son is gone to prepare for me this is my Mediator which hath