musing on this matchless Saint I cry'd Thou being so wholly dreined from all Pride As one not fit here longer to abide Go to thy Bridegroom go thou true coelestial Bride Eighthly As after Conviction she was Mortify'd to all Pride so she did in a wonderful manner beyond any President I ever saw shine forth in the contrary Grace Humility She had learned of her Saviour to be meek and lowly in heart Mat. 11.29 And so excellent well she learned that none tabernacled in a Body of Flesh could have a more Debasing thought of Self than she had She sate with Job in the Ashes and with Hezekiah counted all her Prayers and the best of her Performances but as the chattering of a Crane or Swallow Isa 38.14 The Vilest of Creatures was her constant Motto That no body was Worse that every body was better than she was the undissembled Thought of her Heart When she was most Lovely in the Eyes of others she was even then most Mean in her own she could not bear to be in the least praised nor endure that any should speak well of her though she was enabled to Sing the Lord's Song on the Borders of Canaan after her return from a long Captivity Indeed in her languishing Condition she was made Humble by God's Providence but when she was Healed she was kept Humble by his blessed Spirit This Saint beholding great Jehovah's Face Her self as low as Hell she did debase Hence 't was she flourish'd so and grew apace She was the humble one replenish'd with all Grace Ninthly After Conviction she was in a Gospel Frame wholly moulded into the Spirit of the Gospel These Two eminent Servants of the Lord Jesus Mr. Robins and Mr. Hammond led her into the Paths of Gospel Light and Truth in which she was extreamly delighted so that the extolled and muâ—h magnified Mountain of Man's Righteousness and Legal Performances became 〈◊〉 a Plain and by their Ministry the Heâ—â—â—â—stone the Lord Jesus Christ was presented to her and she was inabled by the Spirit 's Breathing in her to cry out Grace Grace unto it Zech. 4.7 Hence though Interest and Relation with some other Obligations had intangled her with another sort of Men yet after her Acquaintance with those ' foresaid great Gospel Luminaries they were very little in her Eye for She was convinced not Doing but Believing was the way of the Gospel and that not by any Works of Righteousness she had done or could do but by the Free Grace of God in Christ she was made what she was And therefore the breathing of her Soul was to be found in him not having her own Righteousness which is of the Law but that which is through the Faith of Christ the Righteousness which is of God by Faith That thereby she might know Christ and the Power of his Resurrection and the Fellowship of his Sufferings being made conformable to his death Phil. 3.9.10 Oh! how her very Soul rejoyced in the glad Tidings of the Gospel This glorious Saint admiring Gospel Light Whose most corruscant Beams did shine so Bright Whereby her Darkness was expelled quite The Gospel brought a Day a Day that had no Night Tenthly After Conviction she was inflamed with Love to her dearest Jesus yea with the Spouse she was Sick of Love Cant. 5.8 As she had a Sense of the Forgiveness of Sins as Mary had she verily Loved much as Mary did Luke 7.47 She had a large Share of Gospel Grace as the choice Blessing of Heaven for she loved the Lord Jesus Christ in Sincerity Ephes 6.24 Tho she saw not Jesus with her Bodily Eyes yet she dearly Loved him and that Love has brought her to him so that now She sees Him and is Glorifyed with him Rejoycing with Joy unspeakable and full of Glory for she has now received the end of her Faith even the Salvation of her Soul 1 Pet. 1.8 9. What things were formerly her Gain those she counted Loss for Christ yea doubtless she counted all things but Loss for the excellency of the Knowledge of Christ Jesus her Lord for whom she suffered the Loss of all things and did count them but Dung or Dog's-meat that she might win Christ. 3 Phil. 7.8 Oh Love was the ruling Star in the Firmament of her Soul Though Satan for a while did cast a Mist Over this Saint at length she saw the Christ And seeing lov'd him as her precious Priest Now with his glorious Mouth her precious Soul is Kist. Eleventhly As after Conviction she Loved Christ so she lov'd the Ways of Christ the Ordinances of Christ the Members of Christ the Ministers of Christ and that with a pure Heart fervently If our Saviour's Character of a true Disciple holds good John 13.35 By this shall all men know that ye are my Disciples if ye have Love one to another And if John's Evidence of the new Birth be any thing valid 1 Epist 3.14 We know that we are passed from Death unto Life because we love the Brethren She was as visible a Disciple as real a Regenerate Person and that to the apparent view of all as 't was possible for any Creature to be For I sincerely think never any especially in these last days possest more of the Grace of Love than she did Her very Soul was wrapt up in the Saints Society with them was her greatest yea her only Delight She had David's Spirit and therefore could say with him Psalm 26.8 Lord I have loved the habitation of thy house and the place where thine honour dwelleth I the least and most unworthy of Saints may say of her as David did of Jonathan Her love to me was wonderful passing the love of Women This Saint who Heaven ward so fast did move That She a Saint in every thing might prove As actuated from a Spirit above Most gloriously did shine within the Sphere of Love Twelfthly After her Conviction that she had tasted of the Love of Christ she was extraordinarily Solicitous even with a burning Zeal for the Conversion of Sinners especially of her own carnal Relations Her warm Discourses on this Subject put me in mind of our Lord's Charge to Peter Luke 22.32 When thou art converted strengthen thy Brethren She was wholly of Paul's Spirit when he spoke so affectionately of the Jews Rom. 10.1 Brethren my Hearts desire and prayer to God for Israel is that they might be Saved Her Soul pittied such as were running head-long to Hell her Bowels yearned towards those that had no Sense of their own Condition She could not speak of any of her near Acquaintance in an Unconverted State without Weeping for them as our Saviour did for Jerusalem and with the same Pathetical Wish Oh! that they did truly know in this their day the things that belong unto their peace The Night before She Dyed or rather Translated she express'd her self to a Godly Woman passionately Concern'd for the Soul of her only Surviving Sister with these and more
to you that are now Mourning To you that are now Weeping To you that are now so full of Sadness for this great and irreparable loss and that in the words of the same Apostle in the same Chapter verse 18. Wherefore comfort one another with these words 3dly To you also of this Society my Brethren and Sisters of this Church I would next address my self on this awful Occasion And it is to beg you to have a deep sense of the Lords hand upon us in diminishing our number in Housing our little Flock apace But the last night we were in this place Solemnizing the Funeral of a precious and beloved Sister and now we are here at the Funeral of this triumphant Damsel 'T is true she was not actually a Member of ours but virtually and intentionally she was she walk'd with us sate down vvith us and really design'd if the Lord had spared her life to be dismiss'd to us and so to be wholly ours She extreamly delighted in this Society and dearly loved every one of you But we have now left her with several others of emminent use and worth which calls for no small Lamentation and therefore I may here justly make use of the Prophets words by way of Exhortation to you Jerem. 9. v. 17 18. Thus saith the Lord of Hosts Consider ye and call for the Mourning-women that they may come and send for Cunning Women that they may come And let them make haste and take up a wailing for us that our Eyes may run down with Tears and our Eye-lids gush out with Waters Why what 's the matter What is it that calls for so much Mourning verse 21. For death is come up into our Windows and is entred into our palaces to cut off the Children from without and the young Men in the Streets Oh! How many lovely Children of God have of late been cut off in this place and now this young Flourishing Branch is so suddenly and so unexpectedly cut down from amongst us and we shall never see her more Oh How then for this sad and irreparable loss should we lament with Tears how should our Eyes be gushing out with Water for the Immature fading of so sweet a Flower Oh! Therefore from the sense of Gods displeasure in taking such Unvaluable Jewels from us Be afflicted mourn and Weep let your Laughter be turned into Mourning and your Joy into heaviness Though as to this Saint her self there is no need of it death is to her an unspeakable Gain And therefore Christs words to the Bewailing Women are applicable unto you Ye daughters of Jerusalem Weep not for me but for your selves and the Miseries that are coming upon You. Oh Methinks I hear her speaking aloud to all and every one of us in Davids Language Psal 34. v. 2.3.4 My Soul shall make her Boast in the Lord The humble shall hear thereof and be glad O Magnifie the Lord with me and let us exalt his name together I sought the Lord and he heard me and delivered me from all my Fears But for our own sakes there 's cause enough of Mourning especially from this awful consideration Accession to us does not answer the decession from us 4thly and lastly A word to all of you in this Congregation the Inhabitants of this Town and the parts adjacent And I will Preface what I have to say to you in the Words of Jotham to the Men of Shechem Judg. 9.7 Hearken I beseech you unto me that God may hearken unto you Some of you have seen all of you have heard what this deceased young Gentlewoman underwent for Heaven What Oceans of Troubles she vvas plunged in and what Fires of Soul-tribulations she was a long time burning in Now as Christ said to his Disciples Math. 18.2.3 And Jesus called a little Child unto him and set him in the midst of them And said verily I say unto you except ye be Converted and become as little Children ye shall not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven So say I to all and every one here Old and Young Rich and Poor High and Low except ye go thorough the Pangs of the New-birth as this young Damsel did I do not say in that same degree of Horror and Agony for that few do but except you be as really Converted Changed Renewed and Born again as she was you will not nay you cannot enter into the Joys of Heaven when you Die for they are our Lord 's own Words and spoke as plain as plain can be Joh. 3.3 Except a Man any Man every Man be Born again he cannot see the Kingdom of God Now this deserves your most deep and serious Consideration for there is a Kingdom of God to be enjoyed and a kingdom of darkness to be avoided And believe it Sirs Heaven is no Feigned Elizium Hell and Eternty is no dream the worm that never dies is no fond Conceit And you will shortly know what the one or the other means You will er'e long be summon'd to spend the Ages of Eternity amongst the blessed or damned and that in a very little time And so I shall close the whole alluding to the words of my Lord and Master with an earnest Exhortation to and fervent Supplication for each and every Soul of you here present Oh! That you would therefore know even you in this your day the things that belong to your everlasting peace before even before they be hid from your eyes And that for ever Two Hymns composed for her Funeral the former of which was publickly sung at the close of her Funeral I Sought the Lord and him I found He did regard my Tears When I lay prostrate on the Ground He freed me from my fears I wept with Sorrow Grief and Woe 'T is God that Mercy gives God made me cry out Oh! I know That my Redeemer Lives And lives to comfort my poor Heart Who did my State condole As finding such an horrid smart Within my wounded Soul But now I 'm eas'd I feel no pain Oh! then rejoyce with me That have found Death so sweet a Gain My Saviour now I see When I through Weakness pin'd away And fetch'd my latest Groan Christ sent his Angels to convey My Soul unto his Throne Oh! Halelujah Lord I am Ravish'd with Joy and Love In Bosome of blest Abraham With all the Saints above The other A Person young late dwelt among Vs Militants below Oppress'd with Fears immerg'd in Tears Which from her Eyes did flow Her Spirit sad with Sable clad To think upon her Soul The Storm was great the Billows beat And Deeps did on her roul So fierce the Stroke her Heart was broke Her inward Man deprest Both Night and Day she pin'd away And had not any Rest. Till God did please t' afford her ease 'T is he that Comfort gives Then in her Woe she cry'd I know My dear Redeemer Lives With this sweet Breath in view of Death She did her Life resign Now wrapt in Love with those above She gloriously does shine Rest holy Saint where no complaint Shall vex thee any more Possess that Peace which ne'er will cease On Canaan's blessed shore Oh! Halelu-Jah he is true At length he 'll surely come He 'll come away without delay And take his Mourners home FINIS
Heart with Compunction in my bleeding Soul that she would compose her self and fix her mind to look up to the Lord and with her Eyes to have respect to the Holy one of Israel who would help her and that with the saving Aid of his right hand if she would believe in him who would comfort her and that with the ravishing Comforts of his blessed Spirit if she would cast her self upon him Minding her in way of Paraphrase what Moses said to Israel There is none like unto the God of Jeshurun who rideth upon the Heaven in thy help and in his Excellency on the Sky The Eternal God is thy refuse and underneath are the everlasting Arms and he shall thrust out the Enemy from before thee and shall say destroy them That Enemy said I who is now so exceeding rampant in you who is now so maliciously affrightning and terrifying you with the Sense of Hell and Wrath which yet will never be your Portion this very Enemy God will thrust out from you yea this envious Satan that does you now so much Mischief the God of Peace will most assuredly bruise under your Feet shortly and then you shall dwell in Safety alone the Enemy shall no more trouble you nor be perplexing of you And your Fountain shall be upon a Land of Corn and Wine Also his Heavens shall drop down Dew that is the Doctrine and Graces of the Gospel the Spirit of the Lord Jesus breathing therein shall drop down in a Soul-reviving Soul-refreshing yea in a Soul-ravishing manner upon you And then You shall grow as the Lilly and cast forth your Root as Lebanon your Branches shall spread and your Beauty shall be as the Olive-tree and your Smell as Lebanon And then thus dwelling under his Shadow you shall return you shall revive as the Corn and grow as the Vine and your Scent shall be as the Wine of Lebanon And then Oh then you will be an happy a thrice happy Virgin in our Israel And who will be like unto you though now a distressed Maid yet then Saved by the Lord. Who will awake for you as one awaketh out of sleep and as a mighty Man that shouteth by reason of Wine And will deliver you out of the hand of your present Tormentor who will be the Shield of your help and the Sword of your Excellency And the Enemy of your Salvation who is now Suggesting many uncomfortable and most false things to you whereby you are so lamentably disquieted in your Spirit even to Distraction will then be found as he is and as from the beginning he has been a Liar to you And you shall tread upon high places and so be infinitely above the reach of all his fiery Darts that not one of them shall sting or hurt you any more for ever But alas all that I spake or all that any could speak to this purpose was but like the weak Trajans casting their feeble Arrows at the Conquering Grecians wholly in vain I could not in the least allay her Grief or asswage the Torrent of her violent Passion which was at the greatest height I ever beheld in any Creature before I knew not how to leave her in the horrible Pit in the miry Clay of such Soul-tormenting Distress and yet I plainly discern'd it was to no purpose to stay with her so outragious was her Grief and so beyond all bounds of Moderation was her Sorrow Horror and most dreadful Despair had such a powerful Ascendant on her that her poor Heart was like to break yea she was even ready to dye for fear of Eternal dying Oh! how was this tender Lamb in Zion rufully afraid because of her Sins which were set in order before her and continually staring her in the Face How did amazing Fearfulness lamentably surprize her in the awful sense of dwelling with the devouring Fire that can never be put out and in the doleful Apprehension of rowling upon those Pillars of everlasting Flames that never will cease burning Verily had she seen with her Eyes the Sulphurous Torches had she heard with her Ears the dismal Groans of the Damned yea had she actually felt the very Torments those endure who are surrounded with horrid Mists of Darkness in the Eternal Shades below she could hardly express her self in a more dolorous in a more grievous manner than she did such Heart-melting such Soul-piercing Complaints such a mournful crying our of a lost State of a barren Mind of a Certainty of being Damned never sounded at least in my Ears before I had much ado to perswade her to a Composedness till I went to Prayer with her in which Duty I pleaded with the Lord according to the measure of the Spirit given me for her that the sounding of his Bowels of Pitty and Compassion might be moved towards her that he would Graciously hear this Dejected Creature as he did Ephraim bemoaning of her self in his very words I am ashamed yea even Confounded to bear the Reproach of my Youth And that he would say of her as he did of him Is Ephraim my dear Son is he a pleasant Child for since I spake against him I do earnestly remember him still therefore my Bowels are troubled for him and I will surely have Mercy upon him saith the Lord. When I concluded Prayer I took a very sorrowful leave of her being towards Morning 'T is said For the Divisions of Reuben there were great thoughts of heart And again For the Divisions of Reuben there were great Searchings of heart I am sure for the Spiritual Troubles for the Despairing Sorrow of this young Gentlewoman there were great Thoughts and Searchings of Heart great Distress and Anxiety of Mind both by me and many others And truly we were and we could not but be between Hope and Fear about her We would fain hope the Lord design'd Love and Mercy to her precious Soul notwithstanding the many bitter and grievous things he wrote against her and the great and fearful Trials she was exercised with but then the strangeness the unparallell'dness of her Grief the intollerable Heaviness and Weight of that Burthen she groaned under the apparent Prevalency of the Tempter over her for she seemed to be wholly in his Clutches and above all the woful and most horrible uninterrupted Despairingness of her Language for I know not how long time together gave a little Check to those Hopes we were willing to retain and made too much room for Fear and Doubts in our Thoughts concerning her Indeed we were all at our Wits end and could not tell what to think or say of her For my part I can truly say her Case took up my whole time I could hardly mind any thing else Day and Night were my Thoughts busily imploy'd what course to take for her or what means to use that might be of avail to her And after many Wrestlings with Sighs and Groans unto God in her behalf and revolving many things in my perplexed
and severest Affliction And it is more than imply'd that Jonah apprehended this when he thus cried to him The Israelites were to eat no Leavened Bread with the Sacrifice of their Passover but the unleavened Bread of Affliction Deut. 16.3 That they might remember what they were once in Egypt and the gracious Design God had towards them even in that Bondage State Oh! a Belief of this glorious Truth would allay the tempestuous Sea of Sorrow when our Souls are bowed down with Anguish Fourthly God will appear as answering of Prayer in the greatest Affliction When Jonah was crying he heard by an Ear of Faith God answering And so we find Israel acknowledging Deut. 26.7 And when we cryed unto the Lord God of our Fathers the Lord heard our voice and looked on our Affliction and our Labour and our Oppression He is a Prayer-hearing God and then especially when Prayer comes from the Anguish and Bitterness of the Soul And we have not only the Experience of his afflicted People in all Ages to witness this Truth but his own express word for it Psalm 50.15 Call upon me in the day of trouble I will deliver thee and thou shalt glorifie me Oh! who would not beg hard for a Praying Heart and a Crying Tongue when the blessed God has such an hearing Ear. Secondly The other word that Jonah here sets forth the Misery of his Condition by is Hell Out of the belly of Hell cryed I From whence I remark'd these Observations First Poor Creatures and yet Elect Vessels may be in very dreadful Torments their Souls may be in very doleful Agonies Hell is a place of Torment 't is said of the rich Man Luke 16.23 In Hell he lift up his Eyes being in Torments Hence great and grievous Soul-troubles are Metaphorically called Hell David speaks in the same Language Psalm 18.5 The Sorrows of Hell compassed me about Now then when Jonah said here Out of the belly of Helâ— cryed I It is as if he had said In the midst of dreadful Torments and anguish of Soul I cryed to my God Secondly Poor Creatures may be surrounded with Sorrows every way from above from below from without from within thus David speaks of his case Psalm 116.3 The Sorrows of Death compassed me and the Pains of Hell gat hold upon me I found Trouble and Sorrow That is he was compassed about every way with Woe and Misery As Job's Messengers came from every Corner sinking his Spirits with ill News and piercing his Soul with the Darts of disconsolate Tidings Job 1.16 So many chosen Vessels of the Lord may be beset with Troubles and Sorrows of every kind which may make them roar and cry out as those without hope Thirdly Poor Creatures may be worried and hurried by the Temptations of the Devil which is a Species of Hells Torture As the Tongue is said to be set on Fire of Hell James 3.6 So the Spirits of tempted ones may be and too often are borne down and kept under the Hatches by the Tyranny of Hells Monarch We find Paul complaining of a Thorn in the Flesh the Messenger of Satan buffeting him 2 Cor. 12.7 Oh! it is an Hell upon Earth to be in the Claws of Hells roaring Lyon Fourthly Poor Creatures may be for a time conquered and overcome by Hells Sorrows though The Gates of Hell shall not absolutely prevail Matt. 16.18 yet they may a great while and in a great measure prevail over many precious Children of Zion though God's chosen ones shall not be left to remain always in Hell as David personating Christ spake with respect to the Grave Psalm 16.10 Yet they may be left a long time under the power of Hell to be crying out as though they were for ever lost Then I took notice of the Dolefulness of Jonah's Complaint as we have it in the third Verse For thou hadst cast me into the Deep in the midst of the Seas and the Floods compassed me about all thy Billows and thy Waves passed over me Wherein there is Metaphorically set forth First The Sense he had of Sin as the deserving Cause of what he now so lamentably groaned under Thou hadst cast me into the Deep and that deservedly for my horrid and crying Sin of Disobedience of which mention is made Chap. 1.1 2 3. Now the Word of the Lord came unto Jonah the Son of Amittai saying Arise go to Nineveh that great City and cry against it for their Wickedness is come up before me But Jonah rose up to flee unto Tarshish from the presence of the Lord. Here we find him shamefully turning his Back upon the Commands of his God and now in the Deep he is sadly sensible of it and broken in Heart for it So in like manner we find the Church acknowledging and that in a Soul-humbled and debased way Lam. 5.15 16. The Joy of our Heart is ceased our Dance is turned into Mourning The Crown is fallen from our head Woe unto us that we have sinned Ah! happy if under the weight of Grief we have a Sense of the Evil of Sin Secondly He was under Terrors of Conscience and miserable Confusion in his Spirit this is imply'd in the vvord Seas In the midst of the Seas That he vvas literally cast into the Seas vve read Chap. 1.15 So they took up Jonah and cast him forth into the Sea But besides this he vvas in a mystical Sense in the Sea that is under the Rackings of a vvounded Spirit under the Bitings of a stinging Conscience So that he vvas as the Prophet told Pashur he should be Jer. 20.3 Magor Missabib even a Terror to himself Oh! Terrors of Conscience are the vvorst of Sea-storms Thirdly He was over-whelmed with Sorrow and this is imply'd in the word Floods And the Floods compassed me about So that his Spirit as well as his Body sunk as Lead in the mighty Waters As it was said of Pharaoh and his Host when they were drowned in the Red Sea Exod. 15.10 Our Saviour thus expresses the Misery that shall come upon all incorrigible Sinners Matt. 18.6 It were better for him that a Mill-stone were hanged about his Neck and that he were drowned in the depth of the Sea Oh! who can be sensible of the Troubles and Miseries wherewith poor Jonah was overwhelmed when he was in the Sea Fourthly He was closely confined not only as to his Body but narrowly pent up as to his Spirit This is included in the word Billows All thy Billows and thy Waves passed over me We read indeed of his being in the Whales Belly Chap. 1.17 And as that miserably confin'd his Body so his Spirit was worse restrain'd through the awful Sense of Divine Displeasure As David's once was Psalm 42.7 Deep calleth unto deep at the noise of thy Water-spouts All thy Waves and thy Billows are gone over me Ah! how sad 't is when the Soul is depressed groveling in the Dust and cannot look up for want of Strength and Faith
To give him Satisfaction next time I preach'd on the Week-day several Members coming into my House after Sermon as also Mrs. Mary Harrison I then broke the business to them and desired them to give me their Thoughts upon it Every one spoke his Mind some were violent against it others more moderate on the foregoing Considerations but in short they went away without coming to any Result After they were gone precious Mrs. Mary I shall never forget it took me by the Hand and with Tears in her Eyes very earnestly spoke the following words Good Dear Sir beat off my Brother Betsworth from going to the Wedding and I will do what I can to make up his loss These were her very words but the manner of speaking them and the Agony of her Spirit in speaking them is above the power of a far better Pen than mine lively to set forth The other Story is In the days of her Vanity before God touch'd her Heart seeing the Key in her Father's Desk or Trunk she took thence some Money under twenty Shillings to buy her some fine things on which her Mind was wholly set with the greatest eagerness that could be But Oh! what an unspeakable Horror had she in her Conscience for this in the day of her Conviction she often complain'd or rather roar'd about it to me that she was a Thief and had stolen Money from her Father The Devil was not wanting to aggravate the matter for the farther perplexing her already too much disturbed Soul At last she told me she must tell her Father of it and ask him Forgiveness for it I confess I laboured to disswade her from it fearing he being her Father-in-Law it might be of bad Consequence Telling her that though it was very ill done yet being several Years since and she one of the Family I thought a thorough Sense of the Evil of it which 't was plain she had and seeking Pardon oâ— God in the Blood of Christ was sufficient for though Confession of Wrong done in other cases was necessary yet Prudence forbade it in this case under her Circumstances and the state of the Family Several knowing Christians to whom she communicated this Affair concur'd with my Judgment but this did not Satisfy her she still persisted in her Resolution of confessing it to her Father And one Night as I was with her late after Prayer being about to leave her she told me she would not nor could not keep this thing any longer from her Father's Knowledge she had such a Fire burning in her Conscience which was not to be quenched till she did it I reply'd If that was her absolute Determination I desir'd I might be by to back it not knowing how her Father might resent it To which she consenting we sent down for him but he was either Busie with Company or at Supper and I not being willing to stay longer it was defer'd till next day But after I was gone and the Family with her self also in Bed about Midnight so powerful and influential was her terrifying Conscience she rose up and as I think slipping on her Night-gown ran to her Father's Chamber and approaching his Bedside in a penitential heart-moving Tone confess'd her Guilt to him upon hearing of it He to his honour like a generous honest tender-hearted Man freely forgave her to her no small Comfort The next day after Dinner at the Hour appointed I went to her expecting the performance of what she had been so long harping upon but when she told me she had already done it and where and in what manner Oh! how was my Soul struck with Amazement I presently thought on Solomon's words Prov. 14.10 The heart knoweth his own Bitterness and a Stranger doth not intermeddle with his Joy O blessed God thought I how does this young Convert outstrip those of the highest Form in thy House I confess I had much higher thoughts of her and much lower thoughts of my self ever after that Day But stay I am call'd to Hearken and Oh! that you and all that read this Tract would Hearken with me to what John heard Rev. 14.17 And I heard a Voice from Heaven saying unto me Write Blessed are the Dead which dye in the Lord from henceforth yea saith the Spirit that they may rest from their Labours and their Works do follow them Ah! this holy Virgin is One of the blessed Dead that do rest from her Labours of Sorrow and Anguish for Sin and her Works of Faith Repentance and Love do follow her This heavenly Lamb when she escap'd the Gin That Satan laid and after was let in Jehovah's Courts Oh! how she dreaded Sin Its Fear did pierce her Soul and made her Body thin Seventhly As after Conviction she had a dread of Sin of any Sin so more especially of her own Sin of her former beloved Sin Pride Certainly never was any Creature below a Glorify'd State more Mortify'd to that particular Sin than she was Oh with what Loathing Abhorrence and Disdain would She speak of it David accounted it an undeceivable mark of Sincerity that he was got above his darling Lust Psalm 18.23 I was also upright before him and I kept my self from mine Iniquity What David's Iniquity was I may Guess but not Conclude but this I am sure Pride was hers And she through the mighty power of Grace kept her self from it It was her right Eye and she was enabled to pluck it out it was her right Hand and she had power from God to cut it off that she might be fit for the Kingdom of God Mat. 5.29 30. From the day of her Conviction when the terrors of the Almighty took hold of her off went her Top-Knots and all superfluous Finery and never put on more what was her Glory before was her Shame now Her adorning was no longer the outward adorning of plaiting the hair the wearing of Gold or putting on of Apparel but the hidden Man of the heart in that which is not Corruptible even the Ornament of a meek and quiet Spirit which is in the sight of God of great Price Oh that all the young Ladies and Gentlewomen in England had seen her ghastly Looks and heard how dolefully she bemoan'd her self for her horrid Pride which was once so Rampant in her It could not I think but be an effectual Antidote against their staying so long at the Glass and being so curiously exact in decking and adorning the outside of their decaying Bodies Oh! if they had beheld as I and many others did how dear and costly this Sin was to this young Damsel they would sure be more afraid of it She was weeping and Crying and continually Lamenting the pride of her vain heart But as it is said of the Church she had the Moon that is the World under her feet so this precious Saint had at last the Sin of Pride under her feet and Oh! how did she trample upon it how did she contemn and despise it In
which as yet is none of the softest like the Babe in Elisabeth's Womb leap within me for Joy This indeed indeared you very much to me and set me a Longing to be partaker of your Heavenly Gift and though I had several Letters from several Persons that spake very largely of you and the wonderful Things God did by you and that at such a Rate if I had not known them to be Men of Sobriety Faithfulness and eminent Piety I should certainly have Judg'd they had flown in their Language above the Capacity of an Hyperbole to bring 'em safely off yet early at my Return when I went my self to Chichester and saw the unusual Seriousness of the vast Auditory and the extraordinary Going forth of your Spirit both in Prayer and Preaching I was strangely amazed and forc'd to say with the Queen of Sheba The half of your deserved Fame was not told me and made this Remark in my own Breast There was no such Sight to be seen any where in our Israel and therefore left others to consider of it and speak their Minds And if the Lord goes on as he has graciously and wonderfully begun Chichester will be the Place of Religion in the South of England and we may take in the rest of the Points of the Compass Verily you have or rather the Great Jehovah by you lighted such a Candle there that the Enemies of Free-Grace with all their Tricks and Artifices with all their Growling and Grumbling with all their Lying and Slandering with all their Noise and Clamour yea with all their Cunning and Priest-craft will never be able to put out for Magna est veritas prevalebit Dagon must and shall fall before the Ark of the Living God Dear Brother I am in a large Field whilst I have your noble Chichesterian Acts under review which will be for ever your Praise in the Gates of the Daughter of Zion and your Eternal Rejoycing in the day of the Lord Jesus and so very large is this Field that I despair of finding the way out and therefore must be forc'd to stand still breaking forth in the Apostle's Admiration O the Depth of the Riches both of the Wisdom and Knowledge of God how unsearchable are his Judgments and how are his Ways past finding out Or taking up the Dictates of the Holy Spirit in the Mouth of Balaam According to this time it shall be said of Jacob and of Israel Ay and now of Chichester too what has God wrought And though you did good even beyond Conception very much good even beyond Parallel whilst these Parts were Blessed with your Presence yet really the Good by way of Emphasis and which will be the most Sparkling Jewel in the Crown wherewith your Master will crown you in the Day of his Appearing was your speaking Peace to this Blessed Saint whose Sad Life is the Subject of the following Tract You were chosen out by the Lord of the Harvest and preferr'd before any of his Labourers to bring a Message of Peace and Comfort to her drooping Soul great Pains were used and many Essays made to effect a Cure upon her but alas all in vain No Words were wanting no Labour was spared no Gospel ways untryed for the easing her distressed Mind but all to no purpose If Prayers and Tears if publick and private Wrestlings with God if setting a-part Solemn Days if the spending part of many Nights if communicating of Experiences if opening and inculcating of the Promises if frequent Visits and labouring all manner of ways with her What shall I say If imparting the very Secrets of my Soul and all the Mysteries and Wonders of Grace my Gracious God ever made known to me in his Christ had any thing availed she had not been in those Shades of Horrid Darkness you found her For I can say in all Sincerity as Paul to the Corinthians My Mouth was opened my Heart was enlarged towards her Oh! how often did my Soul Mourn in Secret because I could not help her How many Tears did I shed in private because no words I spoke could take hold on her I was too unworthy of such an Honour My Poor Labours through the Influence of a Divine Blessing awakened her out of a Natural State but Success was denied to my Endeavours how great soever to Administer any Ease or Comfort That was your alotted Task by him with whom is the Residue of the Spirit Oh! to this end were you Born and for this cause came you unto Chichester to bear Witness unto the Truth to Gospel-truth Light and special Grace for the lifting up this Dear Languishing Soul who would not see who could not believe there was any Love or Redeeming Mercy for her till it was confirmed to her from your Lips then she saw the Beauty of the Lord as the Morning and the Glory of Jehovah her Righteousness as the Noon-day There was indeed before a Wind a Gale of Gospel-Truths that continually blew upon her but the Lord was not in the Wind There was a Fire of Zeal kindled in the Breasts of Ministers and many others always flaming in her Bosom but the Lord was not in the Fire and therefore though there was Balm enough fetch'd from Gilead and applied to her Wounds yet this Sorrowful Daughter of Jerusalem was not Healed till you came and God came with you as a Welcome Messenger of Salvation Then Oh! then the Son of Righteousness arose with Healing in his Wings in the Horizon of her Soul Then did the day break and the Shadows began to fly away and then did her Beloved come leaping over the Mountains and skipping over the Hills unto her Oh! Happy was the time wherein you first saw her and Blessed was the day in which it was told her Behold there is a Watch-man of the Lord 's sending a Work-man of the Lord 's preparing go and hear what he has to say to you As the Lord's way of Judgment so his ways of Mercy are in the Deep and his Footsteps coming towards a Poor Creature for Good and Comfort are not known So far am I from the Mode of this Generation to envy you or repine that you should do that in a few days which I could not do in many Months that the Lord knows I Love Honour Prize and Value you the more for it and you are much dearer to me since than ever you were before To you therefore I dedicate this short History of her Life and Death as that which of right belongs to you You knew her and was well known to her You pittied her in her doleful Agonies and took a great deal of Pains with her to help her out of the Deep Pit into which she was so horribly sunk The Lord reward you yea he will abundantly reward you for all your great Labour of Love to her precious Soul You were very high in her Esteem and exceeding Dear she never spoke of you but with wonderful Respect heartily
according to their various Apprehensions and Inclinations the Vain and Carnal ones thought she was in Love and upon that Theam the Spicket of their Tongues were loosned to vent the Froth of their Hearts Indeed their thoughts about Love was not amiss only they were miserably mistaken both in the Nature and in the Object of it the Byass of her Affections ran towards an unseen Jesus whom the World never knew and as a Chaos of Darkness cannot comprehend Her deep Care and Concern was for her Immortal Soul which all that are in the Gall of Bitterness and in the Bond of Iniquity and all of the World are so have no Thought or Anxiety about 'T is present not future Happiness that they are in the eager pursuit of But the People of God in these Parts who had passed through the Pangs of the New Birth themselves and therefore capable of judging her Condition very well knew the Nature of her Distemper and the unexpressibleness of her Woe according to Sol mon's Apothegm The Spirit of a Man may sustain his Infirmity but a wounded Spirit who can bear These I say pittied her and heartily sympathized with her in her Spiritual Dolours and they arose every one from his own place like Job's Friends and came to bemoan her and to comfort her for they saw the Grief of her Soul was very great And indeed she had a very large room beyond whatever I knew of one under her Circumstances in the Hearts and Affections of the best Saints amongst us abundantly manifested in their frequent Visiting her and inviting her to their Houses taking no small Pains with her to strengthen her feeble Knees to support her fainting Spirits and to refresh her wearied Soul pined away almost to Death by communicating their Experiences of God's working upon their Hearts in the day of his first appearing to them when he opened their Eyes and turned them from Darkness unto Light and from the Power of Satan unto God and gave them a joyful Sense of the Forgiveness of their Sins and a comfortable Taste of the Inheritance which they shall for ever have among them that are Sanctified by Faith which is in Christ Jesus And what Refreshments after many sad and sore Conflicts they particularly found from the Presence of the Lord reflecting on them with the Rays of his Beauty and the Beams of his Glory and what Comfortable Dawnings yea Ravishing Shinings they very often had after a dark stormy night And this every one did according to the Measure of their Attainment and Experience They all as Fliphaz Bildad and Zophaz spake unto her by turns and then they all return'd to speak unto her but though in their reiterated speaking they said all this yea more than this yet it had little or no Effect upon her she remain'd notwithstanding all possible Endeavours used and unwearied Pains taken by many Precious Sons and Daughters of Zion in a very distressed and disconsolate State even Mourning as one without hope She seem'd in her mournful Gesture and doleful Behaviour to speak in the Sad and Melancholy Language of the Church Is it nothing to you all ye that pass by Behold and see if there be any Sorrow like unto my Sorrow which is done unto me wherewith the Lord hath afflicted me in the day of his fierce Anger From above hath he sent Fire into my Bones and it prevailed against them He hath spread a Net for my Feet he hath turned me back he hath made me Desolate and Faint all the day For these things I Weep mine Eye runneth down with Water because the Comforter that should relieve my Soul is far from me And again I am that Maid that hath seen Affliction by the Rod of his Wrath. He hath led me and brought me into Darkness but not into Light Surely against me is he turned he hath turned his Hand against me all the day My Flesh and my Skin hath he made old he hath broken my Bones He hath budded against me and compassed me with Gall and Travel He hath set me in dark places as they that be dead of old He hath hedged me about that I cannot get out he hath made my Chain heavy Also when I cry and shout he shutteth out my Prayer These Oh! these were the Hierogliphick Bemoanings of her Soul in every minute Circumstance of her Carriage Indeed her watry Eyes her pale Cheeks her ghastly Countenance her trembling Joynts the great Disorder and Confusion of her outward and inward Man mournfully spoke in a silent yet pathetical Dialect what Job spoke with his Lips Have pitty upon me O ye my Friends have pitty upon me for the Hand of God hath touched me Though this was the Language of her mournful Gesture to all that were near her yet was not her Mouth closed she articulately spoke many bitter and doleful things Truly it would have melted an Heart of Stone I am sure it did mine to have heard her daily Bemoanings and her nightly Lamentations And that in a Tone as I have sometimes verily thought scarcely Humane She had no delight in any thing no ease in her Spirit no Satisfaction in her Mind no Comfort alone or in Company Her Harp was turned into Mourning and her Organ into the Voice of them that Weep She was made to possess Months of Vanity and wearisome nights were appointed for her She was full of tossings to and fro to the dawning of the day Hence it was she could not refrain her Mouth but did grievously speak in the Anguish of her Spirit and lamentably complain in the Bitterness of her Soul How often would she cry out there was none in the World so bad as she my Heart is harder than any Body can conceive or possibly imagine I do not I cannot love Christ or have any desire after him I am as dry as a Stick as Sapless as a Stone I cannot believe I cannot repent I cannot Pray I have not one good thought and therefore it cannot otherwise be but I must Perish for ever In these dolorous Bemoanings she even wasted and pined away She was weary with her Groaning all the night she made her Bed to swim yea she water'd her Couch with her Tears Her Eye was consumed because of Grief it waxed old because of the Enemy of her Salvation who provoked her to Despondency and to a roaring out for Sorrow because the Lord had hid his Face from her and left her to struggle with those Temptations of Horror that like the Sons of Zerviah were too hard for her And though many excellent Saints and experienced Christians as the Sons and Daughters of Jacob upon Joseph's supposed Death arose to comfort her and left no means unessay'd in order thereunto yet she like Jacob refused to be comforted and seemed with him resolved to go to the Grave Mourning Thus he wept thus she mourn'd as one that had no hope and that continually Her Chamber was a perfect Rama where no
And so I came to the words of the Text Then I said I am cast out of thy sight yet I will look again toward thy Holy Temple Which after I had open'd by shewing in what Sense Jonah was cast out of God's â—ight and what was the meaning of his looking again toward the holy Temple I â—hewed what may befal many that God may yet be working Grace in and have designs of eminent Good unto First They may be in a State of Blindness and Darkness yea thick and gross Darkness may be a great while upon them We read in the Gospel of a Man that was stark Blind that was born so and liv'd so all his days yet by the Povver of Jesus he immediately receiv'd his sight Mark 10.51 52. Ah! present Darkness is no ground of Despair you may see vvhat God in his Word says to such Isa 50.10 Who is among you that feareth the Lord that â—eyeth the voice of his Servant that walketh 〈◊〉 Darkness and hath no light Let him â—ust in the Name of the Lord and stay upon â—…s God Here is a certain Remedy for nose that are in Darkness to stay upon their God and here is a Duty that God requires even in a dark State to trust in his Name Secondly They may be as to their own Apprehension in a very hopeless and helpless Condition but yet even then there is both Hope and Help for them by looking toward the holy Temple that is by looking to Christ and believing what he is and what he says Oh! hear that sweet word flowing from his Lips Luke 4.18 The Spirit of the Lord is upon me because he hath anointed me to preach the Gospel to the Poor he hath sent me to heal the broken-hearted to preach Deliverance to the Captives and recovering of sight to the Blind to set at liberty them that are bruised Oh! What can be more fully and plainly expressed What can Christ speak more comfortably and more encouragingly to poor wounded Souls to look unto him Thus the Church by Faith look'd to God in a sad State Lam. 3.55 I called upon thy Name O Lord out of the low Dungeon And did she call or believe in vain Oh! No. Pray mark the next words Verse 56 57 58. Thou hast heard my voice hide not thine Ear at my breathing at my Cry Thou drewest near in the day that I called upon thee Thou saidst Fear not O Lord thou hast pleaded the cause of my Soul thou hast Redeemed my Life And what the Church did here experience all afflicted ones in like manner shall experience to their unspeakable Joy if they take the same course of looking to the Lord in the day of Trouble Thirdly They may have no Sense of God's Work in their Hearts which yet for all that may be really carrying on We read of the Peoples smiting their Breasts upon the doleful sight of Christ's Agony on the Cross Luke 23.48 But many poor Souls are smiting their Breasts with Sorrow because they can find no effect of Christ's Death in their Hearts They have not yet Taâ—ed that the Lord is Gracious 1 Pet. 2.8 And therefore they are breaking forth into hideous Lamentations and giving up themselves as lost Creatures Oh! but this is through a great Mistake there may be a blessed Work a glorious Work begun and yet you not at present sensible of it Fourthly They may be in their own Thoughts without the inâ—â—…ential Motion of God's Spirit And hence they are day and night â—ourning though still preserved and not consumed as the built was Exod. 3.3 Oh! how many do look upon themselves in no better a Condition than those dry Bones which God shewed the Prophet and ask'd him whether they could live Ezek. 37.3 4. But as these Bones the forsaken Jews will live when the Spirit of the Lord blows upon them so those Creatures that are at present dry and vvithout Sap and therefore are mourning in secret and crying out bitterly because of their desolate State shall most certainly if they look toward the holy Temple as Jonah here did find and feel after a little time the vivifying Influences of God's Spirit to their exceeding Joy and Comfort I then drew some Inferences from all this which I will make a brief Rehearsal of and so proceed First Then even in such a State we are not really out of God's sight Jonah was obvious to God when he was shut up in the Whales Belly and so is every Mourning Soul though under the blackest Circumstances Hear the Apostle as to this Heb. 4.13 Neither is there any Creature that is not manifest in his sight but all things are naked and opened unto the Eyes of him with whom we have to do Not a Tear flows from our Eyes not a Sigh or Sob comes from our Hearts though in never so secret a manner in never so retired a place but is naked and open unto God Christ told Nathaniel John 1.48 When thou wast under the Fig-tree I saw thee Ah! When any poor Creature is Weeping Lamenting and Bemoaning himself in Holes and Corners even then and there God sees him Secondly Oh! Then this State is the Will of God which must be submitted to Is there any Evil in the City and the Lord has not done it Jonah being in the Whales Belly was the Act of God God put him there So whatever Mourning State thou art in it is the Lord 's doing As Christ speaking of God's Gracious Revelation of Gospel-Light and Knowledge rather to Babes than to the Wise and Learned resolves it into God's Free-Will and distinguishing Goodness as the only moving cause thereof Matt. 11.26 Even so Father for so it seemed good in thy sight So should every poor Creature under the pressure of Temptation under Spiritual Conflict and Soul-trouble say Even so Father it is thy Will it should be so It hath seemed good unto thee thus to lay thy hand upon me and therefore come to this â—â—sult under such a Dispensation with 〈◊〉 dear Redeemer John 18.11 The Cap which my Father hath given me shall I not drink it So this stroak that my Father has laid upon me shall I not bear it Thirdly Then such a State is very dreadful to poor Creatures To be under the hiding of God's Face and left to the Hurries of the Tempter is sadly terrifying and affrightning The Spirit of a Man may sustain his Infirmity but a wounded Spirit who can bear If it was a grievous thing to Abraham to send away his Son and the Bond-woman out of his House Gen. 21.11 12. Oh! How much more grievous is it to poor Creatures when their Rest is gone Peace is gone and all Quietness is gone from them In such a Perplexity was Jonah here in the Whales Belly And thus David mournfully complain'd Psalm 30.7 Thou didst hide thy Face and I was troubled 'T is not a small but a very sore great tormenting Trouble when a Soul is left in the Dark
more such extream Fits of Agony after this day or that she broke forth into such direful Exclamations and Lamentations as she did before Which made me heartily bless God both publickly and privately for the beginning of his Appearance though it was but in a restraining way that though she had not that solid Comfort and inward Peace which I did unfeignedly wish her and sincerely without ceasing begg'd for her yet she had much greater ease with respect to her Burthen under which she had so long a time groaned and was not tortured with those griping and Soul-tormenting Pangs as frequently in days and months past she had been In this middle State as I may say which as to her was neither clear nor dark neither day nor night but something between both she remain'd several Weeks in which time I frequently went to her as my other occasions would admit but she very often came to me earnestly desiring me to pitty her and pray for her but would never go away till I had pray'd with her Her Discourse was grave and moderate yet always in a complaining Strain Lamenting 〈◊〉 absence of God and bitterly crying out of her hard deceitful Heart As Winter came on she grew more and more Melancholy yet the Fire of her Sorrow was confin'd to and pent up in the Hearth of her own Breast and burned inwardly to the great decaying both of her outward and inward Man and manifested it self only by the Sparkles of some woful Sighs and Sobs arising from her Heart that could not possibly be kept down Oh! With what languishing and pitty-bespeaking Eyes did she look upon me How mournfully and in a low still Voice would she say to me Ah! Sir you know not how it is with me I am a great deal worse and in a much sadder Condition than you can imagine This doubled my Concernedness for her and put my Spirit upon the Rack in musing for her What thought I come into the Harbor ready to drop Anchor and yet forced again to Sea upon the main Ocean to be tossed with these impetuous Waves I spoke as the Lord inabled me whatever words he put in my Mouth unto â—er I pray'd again and again from time to time with her I Wept and made Supplication to my God for her but no Alteration for the better could I see in her for the Comforter was not yet come Therefore was she again Weeping and her Eyes running down with Tears therefore was she crying in the Morning and bemoaning her self in the Evening because he that alone could relieve her Soul was far from her and because the things that belong'd to her Peace were as yet hid from her Eyes Two things I confess in this interim run in my mind that were a great Support to me under my unfeigned Trouble and Anxiety for her The one was that the Holy God who is above the reach of Angels in his doings who giveth no account to Creatures in Heaven or Earth of any of his Matters for Reasons and Ends best known to himself would convey Comfort to her from some other hand I was not to be the Person The other was That this might be the last Effort of the Tempter and that he was come down in the greater Wrath because he knew he had but a short time to be Disquieting and Perplexing the Soul of this tender Lamb. And I was not deceived in either of them as the sequel will shew For my Occasions calling me about that time to London where as soon as I came meeting with that truly eminent and excellent Servant of the Lord Jesus Mr. Richard Robins he told me he had received a pressing Invitation to begin the Work of God in the new Erected Meeting-house at Chichester and was accordingly preparing for his Journey and earnestly importun'd me to supply his place in his absence I yielded on this Condition that he would go one Sabbath to Havant that so my own dear People might not be wholly destitute during my stay at London which I foresaw would be two or three Weeks to which he consenting on these terms we parted And after he had been one Lord's-day at Chichester he according to his Promise went the next to Havant and a blessed going it was for now no longer poor but rich Mrs. Mary Harrison For then by his Ministry through the Gracious Concurrence of the Spirit of God what was said of old to Israel was abundantly made good to her in full measure yea running over Ezek. 16.6 And when I passed by thee and saw thee polluted in thy own Blood I said unto thee when thou wast in thy Blood Live Yea I said unto thee when thou wast in thy Blood Live God now so saw her as to pitty her and so pittied her as to speak yea he spake loud and home by his Servant to her and by the Power of that Word not only sounding in her Ears but through the mighty Efficacy of it reaching her Heart and piercing into her very Soul he made her Live He at that time For the time to favour this Captive Daughter of Zion yea the set time was come breath'd into her that Life which in the Inchoation of it was Spiritual and in the Perfection of it is now Eternal So again v. 7. I have caused thee to multiply as the bud of the Field and thou hast increased and waxen great and thou art come to excellent Ornaments thy Breasts are fashioned and thy Hair is grown whereas thou wast naked and bare Oh! verily she that was as a dry Plant as a withered and dead Tree began now to bring forth Fruit as A Tree planted by the Rivers of Waters even the Tree that is full of Sap one of those Cedars of Lebanon which God hath planted She that was so little so nothing in her own Eyes received now thorough the Golden Pipes of Grace emptying themselves into her Soul some Life and Strength and began to increase in that Strength She that before could not in the least taste or savor any word that one and another of the Servants of the living God was continually speaking to her had now her Breasts fashioned to receive and let in the sincere Milk of the Word which now was precious to her and more esteemed by her than her necessary food She whose Thoughts before were desperate being of nothing but Destruction and Perdition and of being miserable for ever could now joyfully think of the Love of God in Christ and apply it to her self Thus through the infinite Riches of Free Grace to her her Hair began to grovv she vvho before savv and could see nothing else and therefore deeply bevvail'd her self as naked and bare novv began the Scales falling from her Eyes to apprehend the Righteousness of a Mediator and to have a comfortable Sense thereof as most excellent Ornaments for her reviving Soul And novv she savv and seeing believed that being Cloathed upon with that House which is from
Heaven she should not be found naked Yet again V. 8. Now when I passed by thee and looked upon thee Behold thy time was the time of Love and I spread my skirt over thee and covered thy nakedness Yea I sware unto thee and entred into a Covenant with thee saith the Lord God and thou becamest mine Oh! verily Novv vvas the time of Love as to her Soul Novv vvas the Holy Jesus coming tovvards her his Face shining vvith the resplendent Beauty of Gospel-Grace and Love saying to her I am thy Saviour and thou art in the number of my Redeemed ones I vvill cover thee vvith the Glorious Robe of my Everlasting Righteousness and thou shalt appear therein without Spot or Wrinkle before my Father and before the Holy Angels Therefore cease thy Grief dry up thy Tears For though thou hast lien among the Pots yet now thou shalt be as the Wings of a Dove covered with Silver and her Feathers with yellow Gold And novv thou shalt knovv that I have loved thee with an everlasting Love for with loving-kindness will I draw thee Mr. Robins as though he had been as I doubt not but he vvas specially directed from above preached that day from these vvords Luke 22.31 32. And the Lord said Simon Simon Behold Satan hath desired to have you that he may sift you as Wheat But I have prayed for thee that thy Faith fail not Which he so managed through the assistance of God's Spirit and brought so many Gospel-Cordials and Comforts from it as gave abundant satisfaction to this languishing Mourner insomuch that her Sorrovvs like the Waters of the Flood apparently vvere abated and her long Captivity seem'd to be turning about as the Rivers of the South She vvas so sensible that this Holy Man vvas a Messenger sent of God to her an Interpreter one among a thousand to shew unto her the Ransom God has found and accepted for poor Sinners and for her in particular and to declare the glad Tidings of Salvation to her Soul resulting from therein that she immediately repaired to Chichester and attended upon the Word dropping from Mr. Robins his Lips during his stay there Mr. Robins after a little time planted a Church there such an amazing Change was wrought on many by the mighty Power of God accompanying his Ministerial Labours and this Plant God has since abundantly water'd with the Dew of his Blessing so that 't is now as the Garden of God the pleasant Field which the Lord of Hosts delights to bless Mrs. Mary Harrison after frequent Conferences with Mr. Robins and being enlightned by him in the Mystery of Gospel-Grace and Love joyn'd her self with the Church and sate down at the Table with them at their first Solemnity of breaking Bread yet on this Condition to be redismiss'd to the Church at Havant when they were Organically compleated and so in a Capacity to do it But before this could be effected she was translated to a better Church than either even To the General Assembly and Church of the First-born which are in Possession of the Glorious Mansions of Heaven And to the Spirits of Just Men made Perfect among whom she is and ever will be with her God In whose presence there is fulness of Joy and at whose right-hand there are Pleasures for evermore Glad was I yea my very Soul rejoyced at my return from London to find such an amazing Change in her for now she could speak in the Language of Canaan now she could discourse in the Dialect of the new Jerusalem praising the Lord for his Redeeming Goodness Now she could tell her Lips being opened in a wonderful manner the delightful Stories of God's marvelous Dispensations towards her in a way of special Grace and Favour for now she saw in part and that part filled her with inexpressible Comfort The Good of God's Chosen Now in spite of all Satan's Suggestions and Hellish Machinations she could rejoyce in the Gladness of God's Nation And now notwithstanding the late Cloud that was upon her the late darkening Eclipse that quite overspread her she could Glory with God's Inheritance For now she heard the Voice of her Beloved speaking to her Cant. 2.10 11 12. Rise up my Love my fair one and come away For lo the Winter is past the Rain is over and gone The Flowers appear on the Earth the time of the singing of Birds is come and the voice of the Turtle is heard in our Land Oh! then Arise my Love my fair one and come away Again Verse 14. O my Dove that art in the Clefts of the Rock that is hid in the Eternal Electing Love of God in the secret places of the Stairs that is kept secretly from sinking though wofully tossed with the Waves and Billows of Temptation Let me see thy Countenance let me hear thy Voice for sweet is thy Voice and thy Countenance is comely And therefore Now we that were mournfully bemoaning of her rejoyced with her yea with loud Peals of Joy blessed and praised God for her Yet she had her Ebbings as well as Flowings and Fears as well as Comforts after this And her Discourses were very often mixed with Mistrustings and Doubtings of her self She had now and then the dark side as well as the bright side of the Cloud to shew that she was not yet beyond the reach of Satan's Snarlings though above the force of his rampant Power Hence to her dying hour she serv'd the Lord with Fear and rejoyced before him with Trembling She always had a Dread upon her Spirit of miscarrying under which I laboured what I could to support her A little after Mr. Robins left Chichester came down that Sweet and most Spiritual Preacher Mr. Hammond to the new Meeting-house at which juncture of time I was confined to my Bed by a severe Fit of Sickness which I and so did others thought had been unto Death But my Gracious God in whose Hands our times are order'd it otherwise Now by reason I was wholly uncapable of Preaching most of my People that had Horses went to Chichester to hear Mr. Hammond among whom precious Mrs. Mary Harrison was none of the backwardest But Oh! with what wonderful Refreshing and enlivening in her Inward Man did she return She presently come to my Bed-side and told me what a rich Cordial she had that day which was so Comforting so Ravishing to her she was even ready to break forth into the Virgin Mary's Extasie My Soul doth magnifie the Lord and my Spirit hath rejoyced in God my Saviour For verily Jehovah regarded the low Estate of this Hand-maiden and he that is mighty did great things to her that day in putting such a Word of Comfort and Support in the Mouth of his dear Servant for her Oh! Holy is his Name Mr. Hammond was upon that Text Jer. 31.3 The Lord hath appeared of old unto me saying yea I have loved thee with an Everlasting Love therefore with Loving-kindness have I drawn thee